I’m pretty sure you’ve had one of those mornings before. One of those mornings on which you wake up in your own bed, drenched in sweat and fighting for breath, your heart pounding furiously inside your chest, and your veins still filled with adrenaline from whatever obscure experience your mind has sent you through mere moments ago.
In most cases those mornings follow certain kinds of dreams – nightmares, most of the time; fantasies in which you watch yourself dying, losing a dear friend, or anything else that may seem horrifying to you.
However, sometimes you may also find yourself waking up from a dream that was of a little more, say, abstract nature.
I had one of those experiences just recently, and it still feels weird to just think about it.
It was early in the morning – the shrill sound of my alarm clock awoke me from my restless sleep and caused me to literally jump up with a breathless gasp.
Hastily sitting up on my bed and placing my feet on the ground, I held still for a few moments, resting my head in my two hands and slowly catching my breath.
“What … the hell … was that?” I muttered to myself and closed my tired eyes, unable to think straight due to the memory of my rather uncommon dream still dominating my mind.
I couldn’t remember exactly what I had dreamt of – the blurred image of a tiny blue (?) horse standing in my bathroom and brushing its teeth didn’t leave my mind, and I couldn’t help but notice the melody of a punk rock song playing on an infinite loop inside my head, but that was just about anything.
Oh, and I had the sudden craving to brush my teeth, but that could have just as well been thanks to the slightly foul taste in my mouth. … Even though that wouldn’t explain why I had an inexplicable craving for ‘Colgate’-branded toothpaste.
Regardless, I couldn’t stop thinking about this … horse. Pinching my eyes close, I tried to get a better mental image of it – it was small, that I could remember. Big, blue eyes, light blue fur, white and blue mane and … a horn?
I opened my eyes again, shaking my head and feeling how a smirk formed on my face – dreaming of little colorful unicorns; maybe not the manliest thing I had ever done.
With a light chuckle I got to my wobbly feet and left my bedroom, trying to ban those messed-up memories from my mind. I stepped into my hallway and was halfway over at the door to my bathroom when I stopped abruptly. I turned my head to the side – something about that bookshelf in the middle of the hallway had caught my attention.
The image of that horse-thing popped up in my mind yet again as I stepped closer to the small shelf and looked over it, feeling obligated to look for… something. Something that clearly wasn’t there, as I noticed with a touch of disappointment – safe for a couple of books, a photo of my mom, and a pile of dust, the shelf was empty.
I didn’t know what I had expected to find in there, but something in my mind told me that whatever I was supposed to find was somehow related to that blue unicorn that had paid me a rather obscure visit in my dreams last night.
But I quickly shook my head and got back up – I had already wasted enough time thinking about this absurd product of my imagination, and I had to leave for work in a few minutes if I didn’t want to be late, so it probably was best to just forget about this whole thing and pretend it didn’t happen.
The sun still wasn't up when I left the house. Taking in a deep breath of the fresh morning air, I closed the door behind me and headed for my car, ready for another eight hours of unnerving work.
While passing my small front lawn, I couldn't help but notice how my look went down to the ground every so often. A couple of months ago, my mother had decided that it would be a good idea to 'freshen up my home a bit' by planting some flowers into my front lawn, meaning that my way now was lined with dozens of juicy red roses - a fact that managed to surprise me every time I left my house.
I was far from being a good gardener, and I had no idea of how to tend to roses, meaning that the beautiful bed of flowers had turned into a graveyard of withered, dead and rotten flower-carcasses after not even a month of my amateurish treatment.
After trying out every kind of ‘home remedy’ I had found on the internet, including pouring a cup of boiling water over them –which had yielded nothing but a first-degree burn on my right foot- or sitting down and talking to them, which had only gained me a few bewildered looks from my neighbors, I had soon given up on the plants, deciding to just wait until the last one had died until I would remove them entirely and turn the bed back into a regular lawn.
Then, however, something changed. Slowly but steadily, the withered flowers seemed to gain new strength – new buds sprouted from the dead plants; new blossoms flourished, and it didn't take long until my front lawn was back in its full beauty.
I had never understood this sudden change, especially when considering that during all this time I had never lifted a finger to do something about it; I hadn't even watered them once. It was as if those flowers had been brought back to life and were now tended to by … well, by magic.
But my attention soon got distracted as I arrived by my car. I had never understood the mystery behind the roses, and today surely wouldn’t be the day I would find out.
The rest of the day passed without any noteworthy incidents – I thought back to my dream every once in a while, but ceased doing so once I had come to the rather sobering realization that there simply could not be any deeper sense behind it. Tiny colorful horses breaking into my house in the middle of the night just to brush their teeth – weird, yes; meaningful, no.
So the day had gone by; I had caught myself checking on the bookshelf once again when I had arrived back home, but after once again making sure that there was nothing extraordinary about it –I still didn’t know exactly what I had been expecting to be there- I finally decided to ban that topic from my mind for the sake of my own nerves.
Just like the rest of the day, the evening had gone by without any incidents, and I soon found myself sinking back into the softness of my bed.
For a moment, I hesitated, wondering how likely it was that I would be dreaming of that blue horse again, but then shook my head – I had barely slept last night, and I surely wouldn’t allow crazy dreams to defraud me of my sleep another night.
A weak sigh escaped my lips as I closed my eyes, and was off into dreamland just moments later.
To my very disappointment, my night’s rest got interrupted yet again a few hours later. This time, however, not by a mysterious equine intruder, but by Mother Nature herself, who had a –to put it lightly- urgent matter that needed to be taken care of.
My apartment’s hallway was still dark when I stepped out of my bathroom, the obnoxious sound of the toilet flushing filling my ears as I dozily staggered past the small bookshelf with my eyes only half-open.
I would have been a little surprised to not find the blue pony standing in my bathroom when I had entered, hadn’t it been for the fact that my mind was still lying in my bed and only waiting for my body to return.
A few seconds later I arrived at the door to my bedroom and already saw myself drifting back off into dreamland when I heard something. A voice; female, and somewhat similar to that of the unicorn in my dream last night.
A shot of adrenaline ran through my body as my head span around almost instantly, looking at the darkened bathroom behind me.
Nothing.
Shaking my head, I closed my eyes again, trying to focus my thoughts back on the mysterious voice without falling asleep on the spot.
It didn’t take me too long to figure out that it was coming from outside, presumably somewhere on the street. The voice seemed agitated, not to say angry, about something I couldn’t quite make sense of.
“-elestia’s holy flank … -an’t believe she just walked into his house and … ‘teeheehee, I’m Colgate … sorry for using your toothbrush. Heehee, we should be friends!’” the voice let out an angry grunt, “…even gave him her number! … -een taking care of his garden for three months … still didn’t even notice me!”
The voice let out another grunt, then fell silent. I stood still in the middle of my hallway, hearing only my slow breathing. Part of me wanted to simply ignore what I had just heard and get me back to bed as soon as possible.
However, my curiosity didn’t seem to agree on that, and so I soon found myself stepping through my apartment’s entrance door with slow, tired steps, though not before gathering a small flashlight from my kitchen.
I let out a hearty yawn as I walked down the short set of stairs that led me to my house’s exit door, my tired feet having difficulties to not miss the stairs in my rather drowsy state of mind.
I stopped in front of the door, placing a hand on the handle, but hesitated. It was cold outside; I was tired – very, very tired. Was this voice really important enough to be preferred to my beloved bed?
Holding my breath, I remained motionless for a few moments, before finally shaking my head and stepping through the door – I had come this far; what point was there in turning back now?
The air outside was indeed freezingly cold, and my body, being covered by nothing but a set of checkered boxers, began to shiver ever so slightly. It had rained not too long ago – a short sniff of the humid air and the wet, squelching sound my foot made as I stepped onto the soaked soil proved that quite convincingly.
With a weak sigh, I turned on the flashlight in my hand and looked around the place – as expected, there was nothing but the nightly scenery of my neighborhood, and I shook my head, about to turn around and head back inside.
Then, however, my heart rate shot up yet again as I heard something; something that sounded like somebody digging a hole in the muddy ground with a shovel.
I stepped forward; the light cone of my flashlight wandered over to my front lawn.
What –or better who- I saw was … well, after the second of these experiences in not even 24 hours, I was starting to question my sanity.
In front of me was standing not a human but an animal. An animal that bore a surprising resemblance to another animal I had met not too long ago.
Its body looked almost like an exact copy of the unicorn from last night, only that its (or her?) fur had a light cream color, and her mane was two shades of red instead of blue and white; the lack of a horn was something I noticed after a few moments.
Had I not encountered a blue unicorn annexing my toothbrush in my sleep just the day before, I would have probably been surprised at what this pony was doing – its face contorted to a rather exasperated frown, it held a small metal shovel in its muzzle and dug around in my rose bed, apparently digging holes for a bunch of new seedlings that were lying ready on the ground next to the bed.
However, its industrious gardening came to an abrupt halt as it noticed the light coming from my flashlight. Its head shot up, green eyes widened in shock as its mouth dropped the shovel it was holding, colliding with the ground with a soft thud.
“H-hello there.” The pony gasped in surprise; its voice was the same I had heard earlier, “Uh…” its look went down to the ground, looking over the gorgeous field of roses in front of its hooves, “M-my name is Roseluck, b-but you can call me Rose. … B-beautiful night, isn’t it?” Roseluck asked me with an awkward smile.
I replied nothing, instead lifting my free hand and scratching the side of my head. Surely, dreams like these were nothing to worry about too much, but the fact that I was just experiencing the second one in two nights made me wonder if there was something wrong with me. Not to mention that both of these dreams were about magical technicolor miniature horses - perhaps I should see a psychologist.
“Soo…” Roseluck started another attempt, “You might be wondering what I’m doing here, digging through your lawn in the middle of the night.” She bared her teeth, giving me a wide, friendly smile, “And I can assure you, there’s a perfectly understandable reason for that, but first I-“
“Rose!?” another, strangely familiar voice came from the other end of the lawn. As if by instinct, I swayed my flashlight around, hulling the new dialogue partner in a bright cone of light.
Again, hadn’t it been for the events last night, I would have almost been surprised to see her again. Standing in the driveway right next to my car was Colgate – the other magical talking horse I now knew by name. Soon, I was sure, I’d have to write a book to keep note of these acquaintances.
I felt like I should say something, but before I could even draw a breath, the two ponies shouted out the question I had been about to ask both of them in almost perfect unity. “What the heck are you doing here!?”
As if surprised by the other’s sudden outburst, the two ponies blankly stared at each other with widened eyes, leaving me as the impassive observer.
Given that I didn’t even try to understand what was going on, I suppose this was for the better.
After a moment of silence, it was Roseluck who first spoke up again. “Well, I am doing some gardening work for our dear … well, whatever his name is, here.” she said looking into my direction, “What about you?” she pointed at the light blue unicorn, “Trying to sneak into his house again to ‘accidentally’ wake him up?”
I could swear I saw a light blush appear on Colgate’s face as she frowned at her congener and replied, “N-no! W-what are you even talking about?” she pouted, turning her head away, “I was just going on a nightly walk, while you apparently decided it would be okay to trespass onto other people’s property and mess up their front lawn.”
“Mess up!?” now it was Roseluck’s turn to blush, “I am saving his lawn! Who are you to come and judge over what I am doing?”
“Well,” Colgate replied confidently, pointing at the little hollow in front of Roseluck’s feet or … hooves or … something. “You’re digging holes into his lawn, and as a professional dentist I know that holes are never a good thing!”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about!” Roseluck retorted fiercely, “I am planting new seeds in his garden! Growing new flowers! Creating new life – something you as a…” she seemed to imitate quotation marks with her front hooves, “’professional dentist’ probably never even heard of before.”
Colgate took a step back from the beige mare, an expression of pure and utter disgust on her face. “’Planting seeds in his garden’!?” she repeated, noticeably disgusted, “Keep your sick fantasies to yourself, you weirdo!” she turned her head, focusing me with a look of disbelief, “Can you believe that? She wants to … ugh … plant her seeds in your garden. Isn’t that gross?”
“You don’t understand!” Roseluck chimed in, defending herself, “This is not about some…” now it was her turn to contort her face in disgust, “lewd thoughts! I was just trying to make is front lawn a nicer place.”
“Yeah yeah.” Colgate put her off with a flick of her hoof, “Keep on telling that to yourself. It won’t sound as weird any more at some point.”
For a second Roseluck just looked at the unicorn, scrunching up her face in anger. “Well…” she finally spoke up, pointing an accusing hoof at Colgate, “At least I’m not obsessed with toothpaste!”
And once again it was the unicorn who had a fierce blush on her face. “You take that back!” she shouted, casting an evil glare at the other pony.
“Make me.” Roseluck replied with a cheeky grin, sticking out her tongue at the unicorn.
“Oh you … you…” Colgate wanted to burst out, but hesitated, seeming to be at a loss of words, “You … mud-crawler!”
“Egghead.” Roseluck replied smoothly.
“Flower pot!”
“Toothpaste!”
“That isn’t even an insult!” Colgate noted angrily.
“So what? Neither is flower pot!”
I looked away from the two ponies, shaking my head and rubbing my tired eyes. Certainly there were a lot of strange things I had done in my life at four in the morning. Standing on my front lawn, dressed in nothing but underwear and listening to two pastel-colored horses throwing kindergarten-level insults at each other certainly took a place in the upper ranks of my ‘messed-up’-scale.
I tried to figure out what exactly was going on – was this some sort of lucid dream? A surprisingly lifelike illusion? Or was I just starting to lose my mind? Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that expired egg last night.
However, my thoughts came to a halt as my look went up to the sky, and I witnessed how the moon slowly started to disappear behind the horizon, and the first beams of sunlight were shining into my lawn.
“Well, but you smell!”
I looked back at the two equine creatures who were still arguing about … something.
“Like roses, I know.” Roseluck retaliated with a smug grin on her face, “Thank you for noticing.”
I looked at Colgate’s face scrunching up and turning red with anger, then slowly turned around and walked back towards the front door of my house.
“He still likes me more than you. I was there first, after all!”
With a long, tired yawn, I stepped through the door, enjoying the warmth that was greeting me in my house’s staircase as my feet touched the moderately warm marble.
“That’s not true!” I heard an angry voice coming from behind me as I closed the door behind my back, “I’ve been taking care of his garden for several months by now. All you did was break into his home and wake him up at the dead of night! Why should this make him like you!? Nopony likes a burglar!”
Shaking my head once again, I slowly walked back up the stairs, barely managing to keep my eyes open as my biological clock reminded me that this really wasn’t the time to get up and walk around.
“Well, why don’t we just ask him who he likes more?” I heard the challenging voice of Colgate coming from my lawn, “Then we’ll know for sure!”
“Sure, why not? Maybe then you’ll finally accept the truth. … Wait, where is he?”
“Great, you scared him away with your messed-up fantasies. I hope you’re proud of yourself!”
“I scared him away!? Do I have to remind you who of us trespassed into his home just yesterday!?”
“I wasn’t trespassing! I just had to brush my teeth, that’s all!”
“Oh right, and you just so happened to wake him up in the process and pull off the cute little mare-thing! I know what you’re up to, and I won’t-“
Their voices seemed to fade away as I closed the door to my bedroom behind myself, pleasant anticipation forming within me as my look went back to my dearly missed bed.
As I laid back down, I thought about the events of the last 24 hours – one day I see a blue unicorn breaking into my home to brush its teeth; the next day it’s a beige pony planting roses into my front lawn. What was to come next? A purple winged unicorn standing in my living room and re-ordering my books?
As if by command, a series of moderately loud thuds, like books falling to the floor, came from my living room, and I could have sworn I heard a female voice hissing a muffled curse.
I could feel my ears perk up for a second, but then chuckled and shook my head before snuggling my head back into my pillow.
“Purple winged unicorns. Right.” I muttered with a smirk as I slowly drifted off to sleep.
This world sure is getting crazier every day.
