"Water's two degrees too cold? YOU MONSTER!"
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Mr. Original in: Look Before You Sleep
"Water's two degrees too cold? YOU MONSTER!"
Mr. Original’s Dictionary
Original Edition
Stiff Whip
/stif (h)wip/
v.
-when someone Sharply strikes a pose, or moves suddenly before becoming abruptly still for a slight moment
[Theme Song]
Before the two mares could recover, James thrust his umbrella towards Rarity, the unicorn catching it in her magic subconsciously.
"And that, is why I don't Flash during thunderstorms." He walked over to Frag Cat, who was still lying face down on the ground. "Frag Cat, please tell Rarity and Ajax that you're okay, they're scared stiff for you right now."
Upon hearing his name, the dazed Frag Cat removed his face from the ground, and coughed up a cloud of soot. "Heheh. Toasty." He looked at James with half-lidded X-eyes and a dumb grin. "My legs feel all tingly." The girls visibly relaxed, but only a little.
"See? He's fine," James Cheerfully picked up the puppycat. After a second, he deadpanned as he looked himself over. "And now I'm all wet."
"James! Applejack! Rarity!" they heard a voice call out. Everyone including Frag Cat turned their heads to see Twilight standing in her doorway, waving at them. "James! Applejack! Rarity!" she called again.
James facepalmed and waved back before she repeated herself. Again. James put down Frag Cat, and the four made their way towards the library.
"Come inside, quick," Twilight said as they got closer. Rarity galloped inside followed by Frag Cat, but Applejack skidded to a stop in front of the door.
"Whoa, nelly. Is inside a tree really the best place to be in a lightning storm?" she raised an eyebrow.
"It is if you have a magical lightning rod protecting your home like I do. Come on in!" Twilight smiled.
Rarity sighed and smiled back. "We are most grateful for your invitation." The smile disappeared when she saw Applejack walking through the door.
"Thank ya kindly for yer hospitality," the farm pony said, but stopped as Rarity put her hoof up in front of her. The white unicorn pointed downward. Applejack followed her gaze and noticed that her hooves were covered in mud.
"Uh, do be a polite house guest and go wash up please, won't you?" Rarity smirked before walking away. As the orange mare grumbled under breath and walked back outside, and Frag Cat went to a corner to clean himself, Twilight spoke to Rarity.
"Some storm, huh? The pegasus ponies sure have outdone themselves this time. I hope you and Applejack don't have any trouble getting home."
"It may indeed be a problem," Rarity said slowly with a nervous smile.
James was the last to arrive to the house. As he was barely through the door, he Stiff Whipped, flinging a good amount of moisture from his clothes and out the door. Then he Exploded, completely drying himself. "There. Much better," he smiled.
Twilight smiled at Rarity. "Well, you're welcome to stay if need be. Spike is away in Canterlot on royal business. I'm home all alone tonight." After a moment, her expression lit up and she gasped. "You and Applejack should totally sleep over! We'll have a slumber party!" she clapped her hooves in excitement. "I've always wanted one of those."
The white unicorn blinked. "...Oh! Uh, goodness, uh, I do believe I have another engagement scheduled for this evening that completely slipped my mind until just now," she laughed nervously. "Ah silly me, I can't possibly stay here all night... with Applejack."
Frag Cat, who had finished licking himself clean of soot, walked over to the girls. "That's a great idea!" he chirped as he looked at James. "Can they sleep over?"
"This isn't my house, Frag Cat," James raised an eyebrow.
Twilight walked over to a wall and levitated a book from a higher shelf and brought it to the other mare's face. "Slumber 101: All You've Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask," Rarity read out loud.
James deadpanned. "...You're kidding, right?"
"My own personal copy. It's a fantastic reference guide. You should see the table of contents. I've been waiting for a chance to use it, and today is the day! This is gonna be so great!" Twilight smiled brightly.
"How long have you had that book?" James asked.
"I just bought it about a week or two ago."
"Okay, good," James nodded.
"Yes. Great," Rarity smiled nervously as she glanced outside the window at Applejack, and grimaced as the earth pony ended up accidentally spraying herself in the face with the hose.
"This is gonna be fun!" Frag Cat exclaimed Cheerfully.
Applejack finally reentered the library, the water on her hooves making them glisten in the artificial light of the library.
"Looks good, Ajax!" she heard James compliment. She looked up to respond, but gasped at what was, to her, a bizarre sight.
"What in tarnation?"
Twilight was getting some pistachio green substance smeared across her face by Rarity, who apparently also had a similar treatment before.
"...What? Did I say something wrong?" James frowned at the mare in confusion.
"Now wait just a goll-darn minute. Ya make me wash the mud off my hooves, but it's okay for y'all to have mud all over yer faces?"
"What? No!" James answered indignantly. "Absolutely not."
"Silly," Rarity batted a foreleg at her. "This is called a mud mask. It's to refresh and rejuvenate your complexion."
"We're giving each other makeovers!" Twilight exclaimed giddily. "Although, we were missing two," she looked at James.
"What are you talkin' about?" James looked at her in mock confusion.
"Okay, let's see...," Twilight looked at her Slumber 101 book. "Ooh!" she gasped. "First on the list are makeovers!" James and Frag Cat exchanged a glance.
Hearing this, Rarity seemed to forget all about her nervousness and hesitation. "Why, that's a grand idea!"
"Um... makeovers?" the puppycat asked with a nervous smile.
"Yep! See?" Twilight floated the book over to James.
As he read over the contents, he nodded. "Oh, okay. I guess it does say WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" he suddenly pointed across the room. The girls looked over to see Frag Cat trying to creep out of the room. He froze at James's exclamation.
Turning around and glaring, "Really? You're gonna do that to me?" he gestured a paw back over to where James was standing. The mares turned their heads back to look at James... but he was gone.
"Wait... where did he...," Twilight trailed off as she looked back over to where Frag Cat was standing, but did a double take when she realized Frag Cat was also gone. "B-but... but..."
James High Chortled at the flash back of Twilight stuttering. "And then a while later, Twilight got to the BOTTOM of the situation. BUTT, then we realized we were at the REAR END of the joke, because she was going to find something that we could all DOO. BUTT, since we disappeared, they continued on with giving each other makeovers. So, in the END, it turned out that Frag Cat and I made an ASS of ourselv--" The mares flinched when James slapped himself across the face. "Sorry about that." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, Twilight has this book that she's using. Because only she would need a guide for something social," he muttered as he held the book up to Applejack's face.
The earth pony read aloud. "Slumber 101: Everything You--" she suddenly recoiled with a grimace. "Oh hay," she chuckled, "would ya look at the time. I gotta skidaddle on home quick, I'm powerful late for, uh, for somethin'. Uh, g'night!" she walked toward the door. But she let out a cry of fright at another clap of thunder and lightning. Zooming back over to the group. "Or maybe I'll sit here for a spell," she smiled nervously.
"Hooray slumber party!" Twilight clapped her hooves in excitement as James put the book down on a nearby table.
A sudden scoop of 'mud' was flung at Applejack's face, before Rarity's hoof rubbed and spread it across. Then the unicorn applied a cucumber slice to each eye.
"What in the world is this for?" she asked in bewilderment.
Rarity sighed in annoyance. "To reduce the puffiness around one's eyes, of course."
"Puffiness schmuffiness!" Applejack pulled the cucumber slices into her mouth with her tongue, and swallowed. "That's good eatin'!"
James raised an eyebrow (and Rarity deadpanned) as the earth pony continued to chew. I thought she already swallowed them, he thought to himself. "But yeah," he continued, "Frag Cat was nice enough to cut the cucumber slices for us. And before you say anything, yes, he takes very good care of his claws."
Their attention was drawn to Twilight, who giggled as she looked at her guide book. "Isn't this exciting? We'll do everything by the book--" (James facepalmed), "and that will make my slumber party officially fun."
Rarity turned to the Applejack. "Did you hear that, Applejack? You certainly would not want to do anything that would ruin Twilight's very first slumber party, would you?" she gave the earth pony a pointed look.
"Of course not," Applejack replied indignantly. "'N' you wouldn't either, I reckon?"
"Wait, this is Twilight's first sleepover?" James spoke up, "So apparently she's been an introvert nearly all her life in Canterlot." He shook his head. "Well, I can't really talk. I mean, I've had a couple of them when visiting distant family, but I've never actually had one with my peers before. Guess this is my first official sleepover too!" he Signature Shrugged.
Their attention was drawn to the sound of a door upstairs opening, the rain suddenly more audible. The sound of the door being closed again had also re-reduced the volume of the rain. A second later, a charred-looking puppycat toppled over himself down the stairs, landing in a heap at the bottom of the case. He stood up and rolled his head along his shoulders, his neck cracking audibly.
"My word! Darling you should really be more careful," Rarity frowned.
Frag Cat seemed not to pay this statement any mind. "It was nice and dry at the balcony. I got struck by lightning again without getting wet!" he shook the soot off himself, looking clean again and wagged his tail. "See? Much easier."
"Wait, wha--" Applejack didn't finish as Twilight popped up in between the four and pulled them close with her forelegs.
"This is going to be the bestest slumber party ever! Yay!"
"Yay!" Frag Cat echoed Cheerfully.
"Yay," James, Applejack and Rarity said flatly as the two mares exchanged unpleasant glances. Although James was smiling, genuinely eager and was looking forward to the rest of the night. As long as the activities in the book were agreeable.
"Takes a lot more than paper to make me regretful."
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Mr. Original in: Look Before You Sleep
"Takes a lot more than paper to make me regretful."
"So? How are you, getting along over there, Applejack?" Rarity smiled wryly at the orange earth pony.
"Just fine, Rarity," Applejack answered with an unamused scowl. She really wasn't enjoying the rollers in her mane.
Twilight and Rarity had the same treatment. Whereas James was sitting at the bottom of the staircase, reading a nonfiction book that he'd seen on one of the bookshelves. Frag Cat had tightly curled himself into a ball so he could lie on James's lap and read with him. The book was titled Alternate Names for Everyday Objects.
"This is so awesome," Twilight giggled as she levitated her guide book over with a quill and mark the box on the checklist. "Makeovers, check." With a flash of her horn, her hair rollers were gone, followed by Rarity's. Applejack smiled as hers disappeared.
"Ooh!" James spoke up. "Hey girls, did you know they have several different names for an apple? One of the names is Winterstein. I'm totally gonna start calling them that," he said Cheerfully. "Of course, only when referring to the fruit. It'd be weird calling Applejack 'Wintersteinjack'," he High Chortled at the absurdity of the thought.
"Ooh, it says here we have to tell ghost stories," Twilight said as she looked at her book.
"Stories? I like stories! Especially ghost ones," Frag Cat wagged his tail as he got off of James and trotted over to the mares. James closed the book he was reading, and Flashed over to the bookshelf to replace it before joining the other four.
"Who wants to go first?" the purple unicorn asked excitedly.
"Me!" Applejack's hoof shot into the air. Her voice dropped to that low tone that you'd use when telling a spooky story. "Ah'd like to tell y'all the terrifying tale of the prissy ghost who drove everypony crazy with her unnecessary neatness. OOOOooooooooo," she waved her forelegs around slowly, in which James burst out laughing. Frag Cat had his paw over his mouth and snorted in laughter a few times.
"I'm sure y'all are familiar with that one?"
"She actually has a friend who she has quite a bit in common with," James Signature Blushed.
"Really? Have I met them?" Frag Cat asked.
"I'm talking about me, Frag Cat," James replied with an amused chuckle.
"Oh..."
"Never heard of it, but I have a much better one," Rarity replied before changing her tone as well. "It's the horrifying story of the messy, inconsiderate ghost who irritated everypony within a hundred miles! OOOOooooooooo."
"Oh, wow," James facepalmed with smirk.
"That's not a real story, you made it up," Applejack pointed.
"It is a ghost story, they're all made up," Rarity answered flatly.
The two mares shrieked in terror when another flash of lightning occurred and the lights were suddenly off.
They could hear Frag Cat's voice a short distance from them. "It's okay, Twilight just turned off the lights!"
"Frag Cat, shush, you'll ruin the effect," James hissed quietly.
Another source of light came from a lantern that Twilight was holding. She was right in between Applejack and Rarity. "I've got one! This story is called The Legend of The Headless Horse." Unlike the other silly stories, the mood of this one was much more scarier. The other two mares were stiff with terror. "It was a dark and stormy night, just like this one..."
James felt Frag Cat nudge him and looked to his side. "What is it?" he hissed quietly.
"Are those fireflies in that lantern?" the puppycat pointed a paw at the light.
James squinted, then his expression lit up as he noticed too. "Yeah, they are. Damn, I've never seen them glow so bright before."
"And they're not even flashing. They're not even stopping."
James just silently nodded in agreement.
Applejack and Rarity trembled as Twilight's story came closer to ending. "...and just when the last pony thought she was safe, there, standing right behind her, just inches away was... the Headless Horse!
As if on cue, more lightning flashed at the same time the fireflies (finally) decided to stop glowing. And right where Twilight was standing just a moment ago, was a silhouette of a pony reared up on its hind legs... but there was no head upon it's barrel. Just a white cloth. Applejack and Rarity screamed and instinctively held each other.
Frag Cat had also jolted not even realizing how tense he was. This was a really intriguing story. His focus on the story was broken suddenly when he heard a clicking sound above his head. He looked up to see James holding a camera in front of his face.
James looked down with with a smirk as he noticed the quizzical look Frag Cat was giving him. "What? I wanna remember this." Frag Cat was going to reply, but paused when he noticed something about James that seemed... different. His eyes. The irises didn't look like the same shade of blue he'd usually seen. They looked more like a... greenish color.
"You okay?" James asked with a concerned smile. The puppycat just slowly nodded as the 'Headless Horse' removed the cloth from its 'neck', revealing their well-acquainted unicorn mare. He returned his gaze to the three mares so James didn't say anything about him staring, and shook his head to clear it of any uncertainty. Although he did take one more quick glance at him. But his eyes did not have any shade of green. They were blue, just like they usually were. Maybe he was just seeing things.
"Ghost story, check," Twilight checked the box in her guide book. It was then that Rarity and Applejack noticed that they were holding each other, and separated with an exchange of awkward glances, causing James to High Chortle. "Now, who wants s'mores?" the purple mare asked.
"I do!" Frag Cat Cheerfully raised his paw. He decided not to dwell too much on James's eyes. It was probably nothing.
With a guy like James around, roasting a few marshmallows was as easy as lighting your hand on fire. Afterward, he brought the laden cooking sheet of the white heated ingredients over to the table, where Rarity was explaining to Twilight how to make s'mores with an already-heated marshmallow.
"Then you place one marshmallow on the top of the chocolate and be sure it's centered-- that's critical-- and then carefully put another perfectly square graham cracker on the top. Aaand... done. Ta-da!" Rarity put the final touch on the delicious treat.
"Ooh," Twilight stared in awe at the completed s'more. Applejack didn't look so impressed.
"Damn, look at that precision!" James gushed as he put on his sunglasses.
"I don't think I've ever seen a s'more that was vertically and horizontally symmetrical!" Frag Cat chirped, his tail swishing.
James was done with his sunglasses and put them away. "If the graham crackers are square, can't they be either horizontally or vertically symmetrical? Just by rotating it 90 degrees?"
His puppycat blinked. "...Oh yeah."
"...Nah, ya just eat 'em." And with that said, Applejack's head dove at the plate, taking the prize in one bite. James's smile faltered slightly as she chewed the s'more with its decapitation visible for all to see, making the occassional 'mm' and 'mm-mm'. Whereas Rarity gave her a flat out annoyed glare.
And then the earth pony belched audibly. "You could at least say 'excuse me,'" the white unicorn scowled.
"Uh, I was just about to, but you interrupted me," Applejack replied indignantly. After a noticable pause, seemingly just to press a certain pony's buttons, she spoke again. "...Pardon." Rarity just rolled her eyes.
A few Flashes later, James had all the other marshmallows sandwiched and ready to eat. "Well, they're not exactly as even as Rarity's, but it's good enough for me! What do you think, Frag Cat?" he asked Cheerfully. The puppycat in question nodded vigorously, and grabbed one of the treats and ate it. "This would go good with some booze," James said before Flashing into the kitchen.
"James! This isn't that kind of party!" Rarity said, aghast. But her protests did not reach him as he was already in the kitchen.
A good ten seconds later, he returned with a glass of--
"...That's milk, darling," Rarity said flatly as Applejack quirked an eyebrow.
"Yes. Yes it is," James replied as if it was obvious. "Did you want any?"
Rarity paused, then shook her head. "...No, thank you." James Epic Shrugged before downing the glass, smiling and letting out a satisfied exhale after he finished. As he pulled out a napkin and wiped his mouth and gave Frag Cat one to do the same, Twilight went over to her guide book to mark another box.
"S'mores, check. Now the next item of fun we have to do is, Truth or Dare!"
"Oh, oh! I love this game!" Frag Cat exclaimed Cheerfully.
"I dare Applejack to do something carefully and neatly for a change," Rarity spoke.
"Oh yeah? Well I dare Rarity ta lighten up and stop obsessin' over every last little detail, for a change." Applejack glared back. Twilight and Frag Cat frowned at the exchange.
James Flashed in between the two mares. "Hey hey, hold on! You're doing it wrong."
Frag Cat raised his paw into the air. "I usually saw others in a circle while playing it. Is that how you're supposed to do it?"
"I think they do it that way so everyone remembers the order the questionnaires and daredevils get their turn," James answered with a thoughtful look. "Yeah, we should sit in a circle! Twilight, get over here!"
"But... it doesn't say anything about sitting in circles," Twilight said uncertainly looking at her guide book.
James closed his eyes and quietly took a deep breath. "Twilight, believe me. I played this with my friends all the time. We always sat in circles."
"I don't know..."
"If it makes you feel better, I did also read about it in a book once."
"...Well, alright then," Twilight relented. With that, the group of five arranged themselves into a circle... well, the best of a circle with only five participants. Although Applejack and Rarity made sure to be separated from each other. Thus they were sitting in the respective order: Twilight, James, Applejack, Frag Cat, and Rarity.
"So, who's going first?" the puppycat asked, completely aware of the looks Applejack and Rarity were giving each other.
"Well, since Twilight's the one hosting the sleepover, I think she should go first," James held up his index.
"I suppose that's fair." Frag Cat and Applejack nodded in agreement.
"Twilight, who's it gonna be?"
The purple unicorn put a hoof to her chin as she looked over the group. Her gaze settled on the puppycat in between the other two mares. "Frag Cat."
"Yeah?"
"What's something you like to do during your spare time?"
Frag Cat scratched his head in thought. "Well...," he started, "Sometimes, when James or one of the guys are baking something in the oven, I like to lie there and watch it cook."
Applejack nodded. "That is nice. As a filly, Ah used to sit in front of the oven and try to watch Granny Smith's apple pie turn from dough to pie..."
"What? No, I meant I like to lie inside the oven," Frag Cat clarified. After a moment of his words sinking in, the girls stared at him in shock. "What? There's plenty of room in there!" he said defensively.
"Doesn't that, you know, burn!?" Applejack asked, looking extremely concerned.
Frag Cat smiled. "Of course it does. That's the best part!"
Twilight frowned. "You're not serious, are you?"
"Yes. Yes I am."
Rarity found her voice as she looked to James. "Did you know about this?"
"I doubt there is a thing I don't know about Frag Cat," James replied.
Twilight shook her head with an uncomfortable look on her face. "...I really don't know how to feel about that."
"Although...," Frag Cat continued as he looked around the room, "There's nothing like the classic tumbling down the stairs."
"Wait, are you saying you fell down the stairs on purpose!?" Rarity asked incredulously.
"Well, I'm not clumsy..."
"Was the thing with the lightning on purpose too?" Applejack asked with a quizzical look.
Twilight looked at the orange mare. "Wait, what about lightning?"
"The poor dear was struck by lightning before we got here. And so close to us no less," Rarity answered. "I don't think I've ever been so worried in my life."
"It happened again while you three were having makeovers," Frag Cat nonchalantly rubbed his paw against his chest before inspecting it.
"What!?" the librarian was incredulous.
Frag Cat nodded and turned to Applejack. "To answer your question... yeah, pretty much. I knew James Flashing would conduct electricity, and he knew I could withstand that sort of thing. That's why he went over to you girls with the umbrella earlier today. I mean, better me than one of you two, right?" Neither Applejack or Rarity could respond. "Remember when I asked you about your farm and how much hard work it was taking care of it?"
The earth pony was taken aback by the question. "Uh... yeah... what's Sweet Apple Acres have to do with anything?"
"Because if you do that for so long, you have to be really strong. And I had this thought when James told me that you kick the trees to get the apples."
Applejack, who looked oblivious, suddenly lit up with a realization. "You... you wanted me to--"
"Yep!" Frag Cat chirped.
"Come on sugarcube, Ah'd rather not hit my friends. Ah already kicked James, and not even for a good reason if you ask me."
"You kicked James!?" Frag Cat almost glared at her, but feeling a pang of envy. "I should've gotten here earlier," the puppycat facepalmed. He suddenly snapped his head over to James. "How was it? Were you sent flying?"
"Uh, I'm sure James would like to take his turn now!" Twilight interrupted with a nervous smile before James could reply. Rarity sighed quietly to herself, glad for the subject change. Applejack also looked a little relieved.
"Well, alright," James sighed with a thoughtful look. "Twilight," he looked at her. "What book genre do you prefer? Fiction, or nonfiction?"
Twilight's smile turned from nervous to genuine and relieved. That wasn't so bad. "Well, I like fiction because it really brings out your imagination. I enjoy seeing authors' creativity. And I like nonfiction because I can learn so many things. They're filled with so much knowledge that I know if I looked back on that day, I'll be glad to have read it. So I would have to say... nonfiction," Twilight nodded, satisfied with her answer.
"Really now?" James replied. "I'm more of a novel-reader. Those really tend to catch my interest a lot." He then looked to the earth pony next to him. "Your turn."
"Can we do some dares? No one's done any dares yet," Frag Cat spoke up.
Applejack really didn't mind the idea. "Alright. Rarity, Ah dare ya to step outside and let your precious, tidy mane get ruined again." The white unicorn gasped.
"You have to. It's the rule," Twilight pointed to her book.
"Hah!" Applejack smiled mischievously.
"Fine," Rarity scowled indignantly and walked toward the door.
Applejack put a hoof to her mouth and snickered as she heard the white unicorn whimpering, but at the sight shivering of her drenched and shivering with her mane drooping, the earth pony couldn't hold her laughter in any longer.
Rarity advanced on her. "Okay," she said glaring into Applejack's eyes, "I dare Applejack to play dress up, in a frou-frou, glittery, lacey outfit."
Applejack gasped, and scowled before begrudgingly leaving the room.
"I feel for Applejack right now, Frag Cat said. "I'd definitely take going out in this weather than dressing up." As if to punctuate his statement, a boom of thunder resounded from outside.
Rarity smiled as Applejack reentered the room, wearing a large sky blue-ish dress with pink hearts dotting the lower part with swirly whilte lace designs all over the piece. The dress was complete with earrings matching the dress color, as well as a matching hat.
"Happy?" she glared at Rarity.
"Very," the unicorn replied.
"What are you, The Flash!?" James exclaimed with a look full of bemusement as he looked at his pocket watch. "It hasn't even been ten seconds!"
Frag Cat let out a low whistle. "Those extra accessories are nice. Especially those ribbons on your hooves. Are you sure you don't like dressing up? You should do it more often, it looks good on you."
"Ain't happenin'," Applejack shook her head without missing a beat as she walked up to the fashionista.
The puppycat shrugged. "Ah well, it was worth a shot. But it's my turn now... especially since Rarity took my turn," he said before taking on a thoughtful expression as he looked at the three mares, tapping a paw against his chin. "I daaare... um--"
"Ah dare ya to enter the next rodeo when it comes to town," Applejack got in Rarity's face.
At the the word 'rodeo', whatever ideas Frag Cat may have had in his head flew straight out the window. "Ponyville has rodeos? When? I wanna be in one!"
"I dare you not to enter the next rodeo that comes to town," Rarity retorted.
Twilight frowned as the other two mares continued to bicker. "I dare ya to not comb your mane a hundred times before bed," Applejack said.
"And I dare you to comb yours just once!" Rarity shot back.
"Oh, snap!" James Cheerfully Break-dance Kicked.
"Darn it, I wanna know when the next rodeo takes place. Someone tell me!" Frag Cat cried out.
Twilight smiled nervously. "I, uh, I think we should check off Truth or Dare and move on. Let's see what our next fun-fun-fun thing is, shall we?" She levitated the guide book in front of her, and her expression turned to confusion. "Hm, what does this mean? Pillow fight?"
James and Frag Cat suddenly froze, dead silent, their eyes wide and blank.
Rarity looked away with an indignant expression. "Oh, please. I am not at all interested in participating in something so crude." No sooner did she finish her statement did a pillow collide directly with her face. She shook her head slightly as said pillow slid off her face, and her eyebrows furrowed. "Oh! It. Is. On."
With her teeth, the white unicorn picked up the pillow that assaulted her, and launched it back at the one responsible. The fluffy projectile hit Applejack square in the face. She recovered and turned around, and bucked at the pile of pillows behind her. Her aim was very accurate, and Rarity was attacked in quick succession with three pillows to the face. One stray pillow however, had been launched away from the fashionista and hit James on the side of his face.
This snapped him out out of his trance and he narrowed his eyes at the puppycat. "Of course you realize this means war."
James's tone of voice caused Frag Cat to shake his head from his trance. "It's demolition time," he said darkly with a smirk.
James ran over to Applejack as she launched a few pillows with her lasso. "Ajax, Frag Cat's on Rarity's side. Frag Cat has endless stamina. So the only way we can win is if we overwhelm them." He looked over at the opposite team and muttered, "This fight is mine."
Meanwhile, Frag Cat had made a beeline to Rarity. Applejack's projectiles got close to Rarity, but she was distracted when Frag Cat jumped in front of her and took them to the face. Unfazed, he grabbed the pillows and placed them in a line in front of them. "We need to make a fort!" the puppycat said urgently before looking at James with a competitive glint in his eye. "Whatever you do, don't throw any pillows back that they throw at us."
James noticed the puppycat's look, and quirked an eyebrow. Then he narrowed his eyes and said in a dark tone: "Challenge accepted." With that, he pulled out a musket and thrust the back of it into the large pile of pillows beside him and Applejack, and began pulling the trigger repeatedly.
THOOMP! THOOMP! THOOMP! THOOMP!
Twilight smiled as she understood what the event was and finally looked up from her book. "Oh, I get it! Pillow, fight! Fun!" Her expression turned to mild shock as she saw the ordeal going on.
"Twilight, take cover!" James shouted. The unicorn did not have to be asked twice, and cantered behind him and Applejack, who was throwing the occasional pillow with her lasso.
Frag Cat was quick, and whether or not the oncoming pillows hit him face or he caught them, he added them to the slowly but gradually growing pillow fort. Rarity was contributing well by using her magic to levitate pillows and build up their wall even faster. This task got more challenging, when James started shooting faster.
THOOMP THOOMP THOOMP THOOMP THOOMP--!
Rarity could only catch pillows so fast, and it was getting increasingly difficult to avoid being caught in the face. But James was not showing any signs of showing down. In fact, he was shooting even faster than a few seconds before.
THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO-THOO--!
"Why does Twilight have so many pillows!?" Frag Cat had to shout in order to be heard over James's fusillade. Rarity, who had retreated behind the fort, shrugged. When the shooting got louder, he turned back around to face his opponents, and swallowed. James was now managing three muskets. It was scary how many pillows they still had left.
THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO--!!
James smirked (at the camera). "I'm an agressive-weapons guy."
THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO- THOO--!!
"Uh... maybe we should take this down a notch?" Twilight suggested meekly.
"Ah will if she will," Applejack said, enjoying the game too much to want to actually do so.
"No retreat, no surrender!" James exclaimed.
As much as Frag Cat would've loved taking an endless brunt of pillows to his face, he knew he had to end this before it became too intense for his teammate. He ducked below the fort and said, "Alright, it's time to do it."
Rarity blinked. "It?"
"It," the puppycat repeated. In the background, James had ceased firing upon no longer seeing his target.
"...I'm afraid I don't follow."
"You'll see soon enough." Frag Cat's head once again rose above their fort. James noticed and fired a singe shot... and it got a direct hit to Frag Cat's mouth. All according to plan.
The puppycat ducked under the fort again.
James shook his head with a smirk. "Aw, damn it. I should have put on my sunglasses on that last shot."
Meanwhile, Rarity looked awkwardly at Frag Cat, as he had yet to remove the pillow that had his cheeks bulging out. Finally she said flatly, "Darling, you have a pillow in your--"
But Frag Cat held up his paw to cut her off. This left the unicorn very curious as to what he was doing.
Her expression became ever more confused when he bit down on the pillow, swallowing the large piece in his mouth. And then he picked up the other piece in his mouth and did the same. Rarity was tempted to ask if he did this all the time, but she kept silent. She wasn't sure whether to be amazed or utterly disgusted when he spat out the pillow in a small, compressed shape.
James crossed his arms. "...Yep, definitely should've had my sunglasses on." He turned to his teammates and Cheerfully declared, "Girls, we are definitely winning. Nice work with the lasso, Ajax. You too, Twilight."
Applejack smiled proudly at the compliment, but Twilight looked taken aback. "What? But I didn't do anything."
James raised an eyebrow. "Then why's our ammunition neatly stacked up?" he gestured behind him to the pillows that towered over them (still). Sure enough, they all seemed to be piled up into a perfect rectangular prism.
"Your horn is glowin', Twilight," Applejack pointed.
The purple unicorn looked up at her forehead. "...Oh." She willed her horn to rest with a sheepish look.
James turned around and scanned the battlefield. It was still empty (if you didn't count the pillows that were literally covering the entire floor). "Okay, it should be safe to advance. Twilight, follow me. Ajax, take the remaining pillows and make a fort to defend yourself. Then be ready to attack in case our opponents are planning an ambush." The earth pony saluted, and trotted over to their mountain of pillows. Twilight, who was on edge by the intensity of the game, silently did as asked.
As James and Twilight cautiously moved towards their opponents' base, with the trip feeling longer than it actually was, Twilight whispered to James, "Uh, why am I following you again?"
"So if they launch a surprise attack, you can teleport us back to base," James whispered back, his eyes darting left and right as if expecting Frag Cat to pounce from behind the fluffy objects that littered the wooden floor.
"I couldn't just stay behind and teleport you if needed?"
James spared a quick glance at her, his expression slightly incredulous. "You can teleport others from a distance?"
Frag Cat's ears swiveled at the sound of hoofsteps and whispering voices. "I hear them moving in. Rarity, look from the side of the fort and signal me when they get close."
"If you can hear them now, then they should already be close enough, right?" the white unicorn replied.
"We have this one shot while he's off guard. If I miss, I can't reload very quickly."
"Alright then..." Rarity did not have to move with much caution as floor behind their fort was covered with pillows from James's attack.
Rarity made sure to remain hidden as she spied across the battlefield. James was saying something to Twilight as the two approached the base. James then faced forward and stopped, Twilight following suit and looking around in search of any movement.
"I don't suppose you wanna surrender, do you?" he called out. "You quit now, and we won't do anything drastic."
Rarity waved a hoof at her teammate. Frag Cat tossed what used to be a pillow, which was much smaller than it was initially, barely over the top of the fort. It went down the wall and almost noiselessly rolled to James.
"Huh?" Twilight looked at the deformed ball as it stopped at his feet. She levitated it up to her face.
James squinted at the object. It was rather difficult to tell what the thing was since it blended well with all the pillows on the floor. But Twilight barely lifted the thing when he realized what it was.
He abruptly seized the grenade from Twilight's magic grip. "Get back," he said urgently. "It's a grenade." He made to throw the grenade back over the fort, but tensed up before he could let go, when he felt something run up his back. He realized too late that it was Frag Cat when his arms were bound tightly to his sides by the puppycat's four legs.
"Did you miss me?" Frag Cat said into his ear.
"I'm not gonna answer that question," James didn't turn his head to look at his captor.
"Well, I'm not gonna miss you!" Frag Cat used his tail to pull the pin from the grenade. James tried to flick his wrist to throw the grenade a safe distance away, but Frag Cat quickly coiled his tail around it, keeping it straight. "You should probably make sure your other teammate is safe."
James's head hung, his hat covering his eyes. "Twilight... get Ajax and take cover."
"But I can't just leave you here," Twilight protested.
"Just do it. Hurry." He sighed as the unicorn reluctantly teleported back to the other side of the room. Her head soon poked up from the now-completed fort, and joined Applejack's. They both watched with rapt attention and concern as Frag Cat unraveled himself from James's body and used his hind legs to kick him, and at the same time give him a boost to take cover behind his fort. James, who was knocked to the floor by the kick, didn't recover in time.
"Victory is ours, Rarity!" he heard the puppycat declare as he jumped over.
POOF!
The grenade exploded, multiplying into several tens of pillows that went flying in every direction. Though if James had to describe the noise of the explosion, he would say it sounded like an car's airbag.
"AH!" Twilight and Applejack ducked behind their fort as the explosion (which launched James in their direction) got closer. Thus the shockwave of pillows that were sent forth buried them all. Frag Cat and Rarity were not directly caught by the ordeal, but were not exempt from it either; and were also covered in white fluff, if a little less than the opposing team.
Frag Cat was the first to recover, and shimmied himself out from the 'underground.' He then dug around until he found Rarity, in which he grabbed her hoof to help her out. "Nice work, soldier!" he Cheerfully saluted. Rarity couldn't help but smile at the praise. Their attention was diverted when they heard laughing. The duo turned their heads to see James with his upper body slouched as he doubled over in a Cheerful laughing fit. A few seconds later, Applejack and Twilight's head stuck out of the floor of pillows. They looked at James in bemusement as he continued to laugh.
"What's he laughing so much about? Didn't we lose?" Applejack asked Twilight, who just shrugged.
Frag Cat walked up to James, who finally calmed down by the time Frag Cat the approached him. He climbed his way out of the pillows. "Heheh, I guess you got me again, huh?" he said as he knelt down Frag Cat's level.
The puppycat however, was not listening, but stared right into James's eyes. They were no longer blue. They were brown. A semi-bright syrupy brown that he could look at all day. And the happy expression on James's face made the sight all the more complete.
Frag Cat let out a brief 'heh.' And then chuckled. And before he knew it, the chuckles became full-on laughter. He laughed and laughed so much that it should've hurt. He was still laughing when he wrapped his forelegs around James, his face buried in his chest. Frag Cat's laughter seemed to be contagious right then, because James started laughing again as he returned he embrace.
The girls stayed awkwardly silent as the scene played, not wanting to interrupt.
After the exchange, Twilight declared that she was exhausted, and was ready to "hit the hay." No one protested, and James was more than happy to clean up after the pillow war. Frag Cat dutifully stayed downstairs to help him, while the three mares went upstairs.
James pulled out a bomb and a Mini Mushroom and combined it, causing the bomb to shrink. Afterward, he took a tuning fork and hit one of the pillows. Since they were soft and not solid, he had to hit a little harder than usually necessary to get the fork vibrating. He tapped the fork against the bomb before putting it away. He lit the fuse with a fireball.
The resulting explosion was loud enough to startle anyone that was in the house, but quiet enough not to awake any of the neighbors, even if it had not been raining. When the flash of the explosion dissipated, the sea of pillows were reduced to a manageable pile that was not much taller than James... even if it still covered a lot of ground.
"My hair!" they heard Rarity shriek.
James Signature Blushed. "Hey Frag Cat, take these mushrooms up there, put their pillows back to normal for me?" he pulled out three Super Mushrooms and held them out.
Frag Cat silently nodded, took the mushrooms in his forelegs, and walked upstairs.
Twilight had her own bed, while Applejack and Rarity shared one. When Frag Cat came up, he saw that the girls were already settled down. Although Applejack and Rarity had their backs to each other, and were clearly awake.
Since Applejack was the closest, he went to her first. "Sorry about that," he whispered. "James wanted me to give you these for your pillows. Lift your head for me?" The earth pony silently lifted her head, and nodded in thanks as he enlarged her pillow to it's normal size before laying her head back down. In his peripheral vision, he could see her glowering out of the corner of her eye at Rarity, the mare he was making his way over to next.
"Want me to fix your pillow?" he held up another mushroom. Rarity lifted her head so that he could do so.
"Thank you, dear," she smiled politely at him before turning her once-again hostile gaze to the earth pony behind her as soon as the puppycat turned around and walked over to Twilight, who had a partly annoyed and partly crestfallen look on her face as she looked at the floor.
She looked up as Frag Cat cast a glance over his shoulder before leaning close to her. "Sorry if the slumber party didn't go so well," he whispered with a sympathetic look.
Twilight's expression softened a little. "It's okay, Frag Cat. At least you and James seemed to have fun."
Frag Cat sheepishly rubbed his cheek with his free paw. "Yeah, we really got carried away back there. But where did you get all those pillows?" he asked in utter disbelief.
It was Twilight's turn to look sheepish. "I honestly have no idea. I think James found those from the basement."
"Wow," Frag Cat mouthed silently as he enlarged her pillow before going back downstairs.
When Frag Cat made back to living room, he saw that James had taken the shrunken pillows and stacked them into a steep triangular shape very similar to a stair case. There were enough for the top to reach the floor that the girls were sleeping on. He was currently lying on top of the stack. "That's a tall bed," Frag Cat called.
At the sound of the voice, James sat up. "I've slept under pillows, but I've never slept on top of pillows," he Signature Blushed.
Frag Cat smiled. "Hey, if you want to sleep on top of pillows, then you sleep on top of pillows. I won't stop you." James returned the smile as his puppycat ran up to the top with him. "But you're forgetting something..."
"And what's that?" he said as he lie back down, but felt something fuzzy slide under his head.
"Your head pillow, of course," Frag Cat answered as he curled himself into an arc as to support James's neck.
James nodded slightly. "Yeah, I suppose I did forget that." He sighed in contentment as he looked out the window. "This reminds me of when we were younger." Frag Cat's fur bristled. If James felt it, he didn't say. "You'd lie under my head, while I read a book until I fell asleep. Did I ever tell you that one time, I would dream that I was actually the character in the story?"
Frag Cat relaxed. "Yeah, you told me right after we woke up. You said I was there too."
"It'd be nice to have dreams as often as I did back then." When Frag Cat didn't respond to his last statement, he shrugged his shoulders "Ah well. At least I still dream in the first place."
"I can hear the refrigerator from here," Frag Cat looked toward the kitchen.
"I almost wish my ears were as good as yours..." James trailed off.
Both were content with the silence that followed, and soon fell into a peaceful sleep.
*thud*
Frag Cat's ear flicked at the noise, but then was still again.
...
"Geronimo!"
"Hey!"
Frag Cat's eyes snapped open. Before he could think to get up and investigate, he acknowledged the weight on his side, and remembered that he had volunteered as James's pillow for the night. So he settled for lifting and craning his neck in the direction the voice came from: Twilight's bedroom.
"You did that on purpose," he heard Rarity's voice.
"Um, yeah?" Applejack's voice followed.
"Get up so I can fix it again."
"Huh?" Frag Cat said quietly to himself. Carefully, he slid forward from under James's head as to prevent from waking him up. As a precaution, he took two pillows from the edge of the tower and placed them over his ears as best as he could before making his way upstairs. He was tempted to turn around and lie back down when he heard James chuckle in his sleep, but he resisted. Down the staircase of pillows he went, to and up the actual stairs and into the bedroom. His attention was immediately drawn to Rarity and Applejack having a tug-of-war with their blanket, constantly repeating back and forth "Won't!" and "Will!"
Frag Cat frowned for various reasons. One: the two mares, of course, were bickering. Two: they were bickering at-- he looked at the clock-- eleven at night? He just fell asleep about a half hour ago! Everyone was supposed to be resting by now. And three: they weren't exactly quiet, so they had to have been disturbing Twilight if she was in the same room. And worse, if Applejack and Rarity kept this up, then James might wake up, despite the pillows over his ears.
Frag Cat jolted when the purple unicorn in mind sat up and shouted, "ENOUGH!" When she levitated up her slumber party guide book to the other mares (along with a quill), the first thought that came to the puppycat's mind was: Wait... where was she keeping that? Under her pillow? "It says right here that the number one thing you're supposed to do at a slumber party is have fun. And thanks to you two, I can't check that off!"
"Ah've been tryin' my darndest to get along," Applejack shot an accusing glare at Rarity.
"No, it is I who have been trying my best."
"Will you two knock it off!?" The one who spoke was not Twilight, but Frag Cat, who looked very exasperated. All three mares had not noticed his presence until then, and turned their heads in his direction. "I mean seriously, I listened to you two make a truce earlier that you would make sure Twilight enjoyed her first sleepover. But look at yourselves! You're so focused on each other that you forgot what was important!" He walked past the beds to the left and looked over the edge of the floor that had a good view of the living room. (He subconsciously noted that it didn't seem safe for anyone else.)
He looked at the sleeping form of James, his expression softening as he saw the small smile that was still on his face. "James and the rest of the guys are a great representation of the fact that friends will fight sometimes, maybe even a lot. I could stand when they fight, because it's never over anything too serious." He turned back to Applejack and Rarity, his gaze hardening again. "But this? This is ridiculous! If you can't respect each other for your own differences, how can you even call yourselves friends?"
KLPOW!
Frag Cat snapped his gaze towards the sound, the girls following suit, and saw a tree, the trunk well-separated as it had just been struck by lightning. He looked at the severed half of the trunk with a mix of worry and envy.
"I think that's enough for the Pronoun Game..."
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Mr. Original in: Look Before You Sleep
"I think that's enough for the Pronoun Game..."
Applejack, Twilight, and Rarity gasped (and Frag Cat could almost feel himself get flustered... not for the same reason) when another flash of lightning hit the damaged tree in the same spot.
Applejack was already on Rarity's case. "Ya see? That's why we needed to take down all those loose branches in town, not spiffy 'em up."
Rarity actually looked guilty. "But I--"
"Outta my way, missy. Time's a wastin'." Applejack pushed open the window and readied her lasso (wherever the f*ck she got that from) in her teeth.
"Applejack...? What are you doing?" Frag Cat asked with a hint of fear, his voice edged with skepticism as he had a feeling he already knew the answer.
"Wait! Stop! Don't!" Rarity protested, but her pleas were ignored.
"No waitin'! No stoppin'! Doin'!" Applejack threw the loop forward, catching the branch in time before it fell over. "And that, my friends, is what we call gettin' 'er done," she smiled and pulled on the rope.
Frag Cat just deadpanned as tree fell through the window.
[Meanwhile...]
James was walking through a luscious green meadow, in which he'd never seen the likes of before. There were no trees nearby, but the grassy plain was completely surrounded by a forest. The meadow was very large, so the forest was very, very, very far away, but still in plain sight. The meadow was greatly complimented by the warm atmosphere that the sun gave off. He knew it was a dream though.
"It's so beautiful out here," James said out loud to himself as the sun reflected off of his dahlia-blue eyes. He was so tempted to spin around and around without a care in the world, that he Cheerfully did just that. He felt so happy right then, he almost didn't want the moment to end.
"I tried to tell you it would come crashing down in here," Rarity tried to shelter her mane from the wind that was blowing furiously into the house.
Applejack, who had been hanging off the second floor from the tree, climbed back up. "Well, ya should'a tried harder." She sighed as Twilight poked her head out from the plethora of leaves covering most of the floor. "Ah'm mighty sorry, Twilight."
"It's..." Twilight looked down. "Well, it's not okay! There's a giant tree branch in the middle of my bedroom. And the book doesn't say anything about having a giant tree branch at your slumber party. Or at least I haven't found that entry yet." She fretted as she flipped through the pages in her guide book.
Applejack navigated to the other side of the tree to see Rarity replacing books on the bookshelf they had fallen from. "What in tarnation are y'all doin' over there?"
"Cleaning up this mess somepony made. Who was that again? Oh, right, that's you," Rarity glared at the earth pony before going back to work at the books.
Applejack scowled and rolled her eyes before ducking back into the leaves. As she was making her way over to Twilight, her eyes caught a barely noticeable spot where the floor was bare of leaves. Looking more closely, she realized what she was looking at through the foliage was orange.
James had finally stopped spinning after a long period of time, and continued walking in one direction. He looked downward, feeling a little on edge subconsciously when he realized it was completely silent. No wind, no fluttering insects, no birds. Just the rustling of grass as he walked along.
He caught himself before he walked into a dirty-white wall that suddenly came into his vision. He looked up. There was what looked like a square tower... or what was left of it. The tower-- which barely reached up to his head-- was clearly torn off or destroyed, if the uneven and varying heights of the walls were any indication.
Looking to the right, he saw a set of stairs that led to the top. With nothing else to do, he went up the staircase, which revealed a hollow inside-- that was expected. The grass floor was lightly littered with... was that ash? However, his attention was turned to a white wooden chest. It looked plain from the distance he was standing, blending in incredibly well with its surroundings. If he wasn't paying attention, he might've missed it!
James looked around before walking over to the chest. It was fairly big, he could probably fit inside if he tried. "I wonder what's in here?" he thought aloud.
James decided to see what was inside. If it was anything bad, he was only dreaming, so it couldn't hurt anyone. He held his hand out and reached for the chest.
POW!
James quickly pulled his hand back as a gunshot ricocheted off the chest. He turned around in mild alarm to see standing at the top of the stairs, holding a sniper... himself? It couldn't be Conscience, he was completely opaque.
But there was a distinct difference... this other him had brown eyes. The emotion in them matched the one on his face: scorn.
"Step OFF!" Brown-eyed James shouted.
Blue-eyed James was caught off guard by his wording, stifling a laugh. So he was startled when Brown-eyed James Flashed right in front of him, grabbed him by the arms and threw him against the wall to his left.
Applejack separated the leaves with her forelegs to widen the gap, but what was revealed caused her eyes to widen.
Land sakes!" she cried. Frag Cat was pinned under the trunk of the tree, only his lower body sticking out. "Frag Cat! Sugarcube, are you okay?"
Upon hearing her voice, Frag Cat's tail started swishing. "Ah'm gonna get you from under there, alright?" In response, his tail started pointing in her direction. "What? What is it?" Applejack looked behind her and noticed his tail was pointing in Rarity's direction.
"Rarity?" she asked, in which Frag Cat's tail swished around again. "What about her? She's busy trying to put the darn books back on their shelves," she said, very exasperated.
Frag Cat's tail rose in the air for a moment before falling back to the floor, almost as if it was shrugging. "Well, one way or another, Ah'll get you unstuck likety split," the earth pony assured. The tail didn't respond as she tried to figure out a way to move the tree trunk.
Applejack tried kicking the trunk hopping on it, looking for any weak spots, but the tree wouldn't budge. Nothing she was trying was working. She grit her teeth in frustration. If she wanted to help Frag Cat, she was going to need some help.
Blue-eyed James picked himself up from the grassy floor (and was grateful that his overalls were surprisingly not stained with dirt). This wasn't funny anymore.
He glared at his Brown-eyed doppleganger. "You wanna tell me what the f*** that was for?"
Brown-eyed James scowled. "I don't have to tell you anythi--" He was cut off as as the other James Flashed behind him and elbowed him in the back of the neck, knocking him to the ground.
"Wrong answer," Blue-eyed James said darkly before grabbing the doppleganger by his feet and throwing him over his head, slamming him on his back.
After recovering from his pained daze, Brown-eyed James folded his arms behind his head as he continued to lie on the ground. "Is that all you got?" As the other James snorted in annoyance at his cockiness, he shot up and connected a powerful uppercut to his chin.
Blue-eyed James reeled back in shock, but couldn't recover quick enough to avoid the Violent kick delivered to the back of his head that grounded him. Or the next kick that sent him tumbling like a soccer ball into the brick wall.
He got up with little effort and turned around to face his brown-eyed self. "Of course not," he said answering the question while pulling out a hammer. "But I don't think I have anymore patience."
Brown-eyed James narrowed his eyes in disgust as he pulled out his own similar hammer. "You're so pathetic."
James blue eyes became red as he charged forward with a cry of anger. Brown-eyed James charged with a cry of his own. Upon approaching each other, they both swung their hammer. The resulting shockwave that occurred from their collision leveled the ground below them, creating a fair-sized crater.
Twilight wasn't going to put down her book until she found what she was looking for. The answer had to be in there somewhere!
Thus Applejack once again navigated past the tree's thick leaves to Rarity. "Rarity, for pony's sake, stop sweatin' the small stuff and help me get rid of this thing!" The white unicorn didn't stop replacing books to their shelves. "Ah said hussle over here and help me!" Rarity continued to ignore her and the wind seemed to blow harder as well. She looked down and said more quietly, "...Look. Ah'm sorry, all right?"
"What was that?" Rarity turned around, taken aback. She wasn't expecting an apology.
"Ah said Ah'm sorry!" Applejack shouted, not wanting to repeat herself. "Ah should'a listened to you when you noticed where this here branch would end up. Your annoyin' attention to detail would'a saved us from this whole mess. But right now, you need to stop bein' so dang fussy pickin' up all the little things and help me move the one big thing in here that actually matters! ...Please!" she said urgently.
Rarity looked at the tree with uncertainty. "But I'll get all icky."
The earth pony snapped. "Consarnit! What the--" she caught herself and started more calmly, "Ah mean, yes, ickiness is often a side effect of hard work. But y'all need to get over it, on account Ah just can't fix this mess Ah made myself. Ah need your help."
Rarity took a moment to steel herself before looking up in determination. "Let's do this."
Blue-eyed James paralyzed his doppleganger for a moment with a Pac-Man bell. His fists surged with electricity as he clenched them before gripping Brown-eyed James' neck, shocking him Violently. Blue-eyed James pulled his face chin-first into his knee, sending him reeling back.
Blue-eyed James made to run up to him to follow with another attack, but paused as he heard a faint noise that seemed to gradually get closer. The other James also looked around in confusion. Was that... a motor?
Before either of the two could react, a familiar Motorcycle suddenly rammed Brown-eyed James sending him flipping into the air and falling on his head with a Grief Grimace.
Blue-eyed James looked after the motorcycle (which had no driver) that disappeared in the distance. What was Blue Star's motorcycle doing here? "Um... thanks?"
Just then he heard another motor roaring to life behind him. Turning around he saw Brown-eyed James with a chainsaw, the blade easily half his size.
Blue-eyed James barely had enough time to pull out his hammer and deflect the swing thrown at him. His doppleganger of course wasn't a slouch though, and didn't allow much time for him to defend against his following attacks.
"I refuse to put up with this anymore!" Brown-eyed James swung again, but the attack was dodged. "You have been the plague of my life for long enough!" he shouted with an overhead swing.
"What the hell are you talking about!?" Blue-eyed James held his hammer in front of him to block the attack with the handle. But then Brown-eyed James started pressing down against it, slowly but gradually cutting the wood. What he said next left Blue-eyed James even more confused.
"I'm taking you down, once and for all. Both of you."
Rarity's horn sparked as she shut her eyes in concentration. She grunted with the effort she put into the spell she was casting. But her focus was not in vain as a couple of flashes later, the tree was no longer a tree, but several tinier potted plants with the leaves taking various ponies and other shapes.
As the fashionista levitated the miniature plants to the ground, she noticed Frag Cat picking himself up from the ground and shaking the leaves off himself like a dog. He had an annoyed scowl on his face.
"Oh my!" she gasped as she realized that the puppycat was trapped under the tree. "Darling, are you alright?" she asked in concern as she placed a hoof on his shoulder.
"I'm fine," Frag Cat answered rather forcefully as he brushed her hoof off. He walked over to the remaining part of the trunk that hung in the window and kicked it outside.
"There's nothing down there, believe me," he said before Rarity could protest. He proceeded to pull the window closed.
Applejack sighed in relief. "Well, I'm glad that's over with," she smiled. Rarity returned the smile, but it disappeared when she looked at herself and noticed the state she was in: her coat was caked with mud, and littered with leaves.
"Oh, I look awful," she said in dismay.
Applejack put her hoof to her chin in thought. Her face lit up as she got an idea. Getting two cucumbers, she placed them over Rarity's eyes. "Better?" she asked.
Rarity's expression brightened. "Heh. Thanks," she grabbed at thin air for a moment before reaching the farm pony, and the two shared a warm hug.
Frag Cat didn't bother to listen to what Twilight had said as he walked past the other two reconciling ponies and looked over the edge of the upper floor. He sighed in relief-- James was still sleeping soundly on the pillows. With no further delay, he headed downstairs and back up the tower of fluffiness. It was his duty as a head pillow to make sure James was as comfortable as possible.
When he got to the top he carefully shimmied under James's head. He spared one more glance at his companion's peaceful form before lying his head down and closing his eyes. What a night.
Blue-eyed James was running out of time, and the chainsaw was going to cut through the hammer's handle any second now.
Brown-eyed James furrowed his eyebrows as the handle started to give in. Blue-eyed James struggled to hold the hammer with one hand, as he'd taken his other one off. That struggle was short-lived as he pulled out a sniper and shot the chainsaw out of his doppleganger's hand.
Blue-eyed James fired another shot at his legs, but the shot was dodged and his arm was grabbed and Violently kicked, forcing the gun out of his hand. Brown-eyed James threw a kick at his head, but that was blocked with an arm and countered with a fireball aimed at his own arm, forcing him to let go of Blue-eyed James to dodge it. His arm surged with electricity as he threw a punch at the other's face, but that was dodged.
Blue-eyed James pulled out a katana and thrust it at Brown-eyed James' chest. However, Brown-eyed James had quickly pulled out a musket and caught the blade in it's hole, before kicking the attached weapons to the ground.
Blue-eyed James took the opportunity to strike, and jumped and threw a Violent kick at the head. Brown-eyed James barely had enough time to catch his leg and slam him to the ground, but not before Blue-eyed James pulled out a pistol and shot him in the leg.
He flinched with a wince, but didn't get time to recover as Blue-eyed James kicked him in the face while getting up, quickly pulled out another hammer and swung, sending him flying a good ten meters away.
Blue-eyed James pulled out and used an ice flower, and threw an iceball at Brown-eyed James while he was down and on his back, rendering him immobile in a block of frozen water. The doppleganger's eyes fixed on him with more hate than Blue-eyed James felt he had any business directing at himself.
James walked the moderate distance, which the fight had carried him and his double, back to the ruined temple. Without delay, he walked straight to the chest. But as he put his hand on it to open it, it started to glow brightly, James's blinded vision going completely white.
James's eyes snapped open and darted around. A wooden ceiling filled his vision, with orange along the edges of it. He sat up rather suddenly and looked around, subconsciously acknowledging the warm soft feeling that had left his neck. The soothing sound of rain hitting the window was no longer there. The storm had passed.
The absence of his weight had not gone unnoticed by Frag Cat, who woke up with a start and looked around. He noticed James sitting up. "James...?" he rubbed his eye.
Upon hearing his voice, James turned around. Frag Cat wilted for only an instant when he saw James's eyes were blue again, but James didn't seem to notice.
"Hey, Frag Cat," James smiled and rubbed his head. "You sleep well?"
"Yeah, I slept just fine," Frag Cat answered with a half-hearted smile. After a moment of silence, they realized the girls were talking to each other. Applejack and Rarity's voices respectively could be heard from below.
"Is it... a six-legged pony with a purple polka-dotted mane and shootin' stars comin' out of his eyes?"
"Who flies through the air all over the world to hide magic, sparkly eggs?"
"...The f***?" an utterly bemused James mouthed silently to an equally confused Frag Cat, who shrugged his shoulders. "You think we should keep these pillows?" he whispered. Frag Cat frowned and shook his head no. "Yeah, me neither," James sighed.
They agreed to put them back in the basement later.
"I declare my first slumber party, a success!" Twilight said happily. The other two mares cheered as she pulled out her guide book. "Have fun? Check."
WHACK!
The girls cried out in alarm as Frag Cat fell from above and landed on his face, the noise of the impact making Twilight shudder.
The puppycat picked himself up from the floor. Comically, it took a moment for his flattened face to take its initial shape. He turned around to see the three mares staring at him, their mouths agape.
Purposely not acknowledging the obvious reason for their shock, he smiled an innocent, sheepish smile... while a stray pillow from the tower bounced off his head. "Morning, girls. Don't mind me, I'm just getting some water." He didn't wait for an answer, and went into the kitchen, completely aware of the gazes that followed him until he was out of sight.
The ponies' attention was drawn back to the tower when they heard a yawn. James was walking down the decline of the tower.
Twilight broke the uncomfortable silence. "Oh, good morning, James!" she smiled. "Did you sleep well?"
"Heh, wow," he Cheerfully stretched his arms, bones popping audibly. "I haven't slept that good in years."
Rarity blinked before her expression brightened. "Really? Well that's wonderful, darling!"
"Yeah, I'll say." James turned around to see Conscience with his fist on his hip.
"Conscience, you missed the entire sleepover," James deadpanned. "I could tell, since you haven't said a thing since yesterday."
"Yeah well, sucks for me," Conscience didn't really seem to care. "Look, I'm gonna get some fresh air," he held his arm as he looked around the room. "I'm feeling kind of claustrophobic for some reason."
"Yeah, why not," James Epic Shrugged. "I'll go with you. Just don't cause a scene."
Conscience rose an eyebrow as they exited the library. It was no longer storming, but the dark clouds still remained in the sky above the town. "...Yeah... sure."
Frag Cat lie on the floor, watching from the corner of the kitchen as he watched them leave. His wistful sigh was drowned by the sound of the door closing. It was nice while it lasted...
Dear Princess Celestia,
It's hard to believe that two ponies who seem to have so little in common could ever get along. But I found out that if you embrace each other's differences, you just might be surprised to discover a way to be friends after all.
[Ending Song]
Author's Note
There are most definitely questions aroused. All will be revealed soon... eventually. But for now, I think I've done enough damage.
I'll let myself out now...
*shoots self in the head*
