Fuzzy Blue Lights

I want to go.

It's too late. You agreed. You swore to tell the truth.

What will my mom and dad think?

They already know. What difference will it make?

I... I don't think I can do this. I want this to be over!

Too late. This won't just end. You want it to be over? Just answer the question. Yes, or no?

Rainbow Dash thought of a million different things she could say, each one less convincing than the last. She could say, "Gotcha!" or, "Did I scare you?"

But the one thing Rainbow found herself stammering was, "Wow, I'm not that bad a kisser, am I?"

Fluttershy shoved Rainbow off with a surprising amount of force. Rainbow Dash oofed as the wind was knocked out of her. Fluttershy shot up, speeding away and into the bathroom.

"Wait!" Rainbow Dash coughed as the door slammed shut. She stumbled to her feet, then over to the door. "Fluttershy," She gave it a knock. "I'm sorry!"

"I'm sorry"? Are you for real? How lame is that?

Rainbow Dash tried opening the door, but it was locked. "Fluttershy, please! I was just being stupid!"

Rainbow Dash stopped when she heard a sound. Anxiously, she pressed her ear against the door. Her stomach churned when she heard quiet sobbing on the other side.

I wish... I wish a lot of things. I wish I weren't here right now. I didn't want to see him. I thought that I would never see him again. I don't know who told them about me, but they found me. I have to help to make sure he answers for what he's done.

But when I walked in and sat down, he looked right at me. He looked so different. He was skinnier. His eyes were sunken, and his hair thin. I... I think he had been on drugs. I wanted to run away. Run, like every time that he came after me.

He looks sorry.

No! He's not sorry he did it. He's sorry he got caught. He did it before, he's done it now, he'll do it again. He is done getting away.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Rainbow Dash pounded her head with her fist for each stupid. "What the hell is wrong with me? Why the hell wouldn't I ask her, oh, I don't know, if she even likes girls?!"

Rainbow Dash continued her tangent, steaming in the cold night air. When it became clear that Fluttershy would open the door for nothing, Rainbow Dash decided that all she could do was give her space. Which gave Rainbow the perfect opportunity to use as many expletives as she desired.

"You know how sensitive she is. Now she's gonna steer clear of me forever!" Rainbow Dash groaned loudly.

I made her cry. Rainbow Dash felt as if she had just been stabbed. She must hate me, now.

Whatjusthappenedwhatjusthappenedwhatjusthappened-

Fluttershy gripped her head. She had been sitting next to Rainbow Dash, okay, okay. Rainbow Dash... what did Rainbow Dash do?

Fluttershy didn't understand. Rainbow Dash kissed her. Fluttershy burned with shame at the mere thought. But... it was Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy fought not to vomit.

There hadn’t been the sensation of hands striking her, or pinning her down. Rainbow Dash didn't call her any derogatory names. She didn't do any of the horrible things playing in Fluttershy's mind. So why was Fluttershy scared of Rainbow in that moment?

She... she only kissed her. But why?

I described how it happened as best as I could, as much as I would like to sink away from existence. I remember it vividly. A double-edged sword, today. I saw the other girls. Two of them, at least. One wanted to remain anonymous. Maybe she had the right idea. I was shocked to learn that one of them had been his girlfriend. Perhaps I shouldn't have been.

My parents watched me. Everyone watched me, but no one could mirror the absolute terror on their faces as I described how it happened in intricate detail. Whenever I choked up, the prosecutor would continue, and ask me if it was accurate.

Every time she asked for clarification, I turned redder, but I managed to get out a raspy "Yes," or "No". All the while his face grew more and more somber.

Oh, he doesn't want to be here? Well, neither do I. He has no one to blame but himself.

Rainbow Dash paced back and forth.

I can’t just leave her like that.

Rainbow Dash sighed heavily, then knocked on the door. Zephyr opened it a minute later.

"Back to see me so soon?"

"Can it," Rainbow barged past him. "I have to talk to Fluttershy."

She raced over to Fluttershy's room. The door was shut. Rainbow slowly cracked it open.

"Fluttershy?"

Rainbow Dash poked her head in. She was there, sitting on her bed. Rainbow Dash grimaced, not anticipating the upcoming conversation (even if she had to do all the talking).

"Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash repeated, shutting the door behind her. "Are... are you okay?"

Of course she isn't, dumbass.

Rainbow Dash slowly approached Fluttershy; she didn't move a muscle.

"Hey. Look Fluttershy, about what I did- that was just dumb of me. We don’t have to be like that," Rainbow Dash tried amending. She hesitated when Fluttershy didn't respond. "We can still be friends. Right?"

Rainbow reached to place a hand on Fluttershy's shoulder, but it stopped just inches away. It felt like something was repelling it away. Fluttershy stiffly turned to face her, but swiftly shrank back.

She had never imagined feeling anyone's lips willfully meeting hers, but now that Rainbow- all that she could think about-

Fluttershy's eyes began to water again. A panicked Rainbow Dash grabbed her in a hug. Fluttershy instinctively locked up.

But I know these hands. They haven't hurt me, have they?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Fluttershy cried, letting Rainbow Dash hold her as an avalanche of forgotten pain came crashing back down.

Incapacitation. Deterrence. Rehabilitation. Retribution. That's how justice is supposed to work. Then why do I feel like the criminal?

I'm not being unfair, or cruel. I'm ensuring he can't.

It was over three years ago. He could change.

He had multiple chances.

He said he's sorry!

Funny, I don't remember him apologizing after he used me like a toy. After he broke me.

I'm... I'm not scared of him anymore.

Then do it. Answer the question.

Mr. and Mrs. Shy watched with pained, confused expressions as their daughter slept together with her friend. They had fallen asleep embracing each other.

It didn't make sense. If this letter was correct, then that meant that Fluttershy, their precious little girl...

Mrs. Shy whispered what they were both thinking. "What do we do?"

It won't just end if I say yes or no. They'll ask questions. Why wouldn't I tell my parents, or the school? Why wouldn't I call the police? What would I have to be afraid of?

Everything. Won't they understand that I just couldn't?

No. They won't. The others already testified. They have DNA evidence. They have his confession. He's being tried as an adult. He is going down for this, with or without your cooperation. Why won't you answer the question already?

It feels wrong! Immoral! It's not kind.

No. It's not. It's what he deserves. Now for once, think of someone besides yourself, and answer the question. They are waiting on you. It's an easy question, just break it down.

Did Grey Skies rape me?

It's not your fault. No more running.

I reached up to feel the cold butterfly pin in my hair. It hadn't seen daylight in years.

"...Yes."

Rainbow Dash kicked morosely at pebbles as she walked. She took this route every day for over a week. She brightened up when she saw that Fluttershy's family car was back in its driveway. She sped up to the front door, and rapidly tapped on it. A few moments later, it opened.

"Fluttershy!" Rainbow Dash hugged her friend tightly. "Oh my god, everyone thought you were accused of murder, or something!"

"I-I wasn't, Rainbow," Fluttershy whispered. She weakly hugged Rainbow back. "Um, can we go for a walk?"

Rainbow Dash nodded. "Yeah, yeah absolutely. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but there's something I need to tell you," Fluttershy swallowed. "Well, there's a lot I have to tell you, actually."