Chapters The Most Magical Night of My Life
Cranky didn’t believe in love at first sight.
He believed in love and in physical attraction, sure, but he’d always felt that matters of the heart were somehow more complicated than a passing glance. Perhaps love was like an old dog, that needed to go around a few times, adjust, and get used to things before nestling down in your heart. Maybe you both had to slowly become more like each other in little ways, before mutual attraction actually turned to love. He didn’t know exactly how love worked, but who did? One thing he was sure of, though, was that it couldn’t happen in the blink of an eye, before words were even exchanged.
This knowledge was all well and good, but it did nothing to explain the fact that he couldn’t take his eyes off of this girl.
He’d seen her in only a flash of movement as he was moving through the crowd of smartly-attired ponies, but it was enough to stop him in his tracks. She was lovely, in the way she stood, the way she smiled, even in the way that she was dressed more simply than all the others. The rest of the royal gala faded slightly around her, and Cranky could not bring himself to look away from the scene. She walked through the ballroom, head held high, shoulders back, a gentle residual smile constantly on her face. Her hair was up and back, bound with a piece of pink satin, and she had the most captivating blue eyes. It wasn’t until a few moments of gawking at her had passed before he realized she was actually another donkey like himself.
Donkey or not, she was, without a doubt, the most wondrous creature he had ever seen.
There are times when you naturally know you have to do something, even if you’re not sure why, and even though Cranky didn’t believe in love at first sight, he did believe in his instincts. And the loudest one of them was screaming at him to go over and talk to her.
Cranky ordered his legs to start moving, but they didn’t. He tried again, loosened his tie a little first, and at last, he made a few shaky steps towards her. He was already wracking his brain, asking himself what in Equestria he could say to such a lady. He wouldn’t know where to begin! Would she even stoop to talk to someone like him?
Before he’d made up his mind about what to say, he was already nearing her. Her back was turned, and she was striding towards the massive ballroom windows, decorated with streamers across the top just for the occasion of the gala. As she reached them, she stopped, and he saw her shoulders rise and fall in a short sigh. It was enough to give him pause, and, unfortunately, it was enough to give someone else a chance to make their move.
Before he realized what was happening, he saw a tall white stallion step up to her side. He was wearing a suit, a monocle, and had a carefully styled blue moustache. He oozed refinement and wealth, and Cranky felt a sinking in his chest as the youthful gent smiled down at the delicate lady. Cranky was quickly certain that he had been outclassed.
“Ah, there you are!” he heard the young stallion say in a thick but lilting accent. “I had wondered where you’d gotten off to my dear. Truly, where has the night been going to, we haven’t even had that dance yet!”
He saw the jenny turn her head and smile politely to the stallion, and the charm in even this simple act was enough to set him back a step.
“Oh…” she said softly, barely loud enough for Cranky to hear. “I don’t feel too much like dancing just now.”
“But my dear, I do insist! We’d make quite the handsome couple on the dance floor, don’t you agree?”
“Why thank you, I… I’m not sure what to say,” she said, and he could see her cheeks flush a dusty pink as she spoke.
There was no other explanation, she must be an angel. Her smile, her voice, even the way she sighed was enough to make him certain of this. It also meant that she was way out of his league. The voice in the back of his head, urging him to speak, quieted some, allowing him enough mental power to give a new command: Walk away. It’s not worth pining over something you’ll never have. It’s not worth all the effort, just to experience another failure. Walk away.
It was a voice he was used to. It was the one he had heard when he’d been given a free ticket to the gala by his friend. It was the one that told him not to travel, because where would he even go? It was the voice that said, if you don’t try too hard, then you can never fail, so why try? When it spoke now, he was all too happy to obey.
Cranky was already turning away to go find a drink to pour his sorrows into, when he felt a delicate yet firm hoof clasp onto his shoulder.
“Why there you are!” he heard an enchanting voice say.
Slowly, Cranky turned, and looked into two of the very bluest eyes he had ever seen. He gawked at her, suddenly made from a dream to real flesh and blood before him. She was touching his shoulder, he told himself. An angel was touching his shoulder.
“U-uh…” he stuttered out. “It… seems I am.”
She smiled broadly at him, and quickly threw her front legs around him in a hug. He was so stunned that he didn’t move at first, simply trying to process the feeling of her weight against his chest, the tickle of a few wisps of stray hair against his cheek. The warmth of her breath, and the soft thread of perfume weaving its way through his senses filled his head in a pleasant and dizzying way. At last, after what seemed like ages, he had the sense to reach up with his own hoof and gently pat her on the back. It was the only thing that seemed like it made sense to do, surreal though it was.
The stallion had a very similar expression to what Cranky was feeling, and the two of them looked at each other in bafflement as the jenny released his neck and stepped back. She smiled up at Cranky once again, and he caught a flash of something in her gaze. A command. Bear with me , it said. He still couldn’t be sure what she meant by that, though.
“I have been looking for you everywhere,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Where in Equestria have you been?”
“I… have been around,” Cranky said, studying her face to see if what he was saying was right. She didn’t seem upset, so he attempted further words. “Just was getting some punch, saying hi to folks. S-sorry.”
“Oh, that’s alright,” she said, giving him a playful nudge. “As long as you’re here now, that’s what matters.”
The stallion gave a soft cough, and she turned to face the noise with a little ‘oh,’ as if she’d forgotten he was there.
“How rude of me,” she said, a soft self-deprecating laugh in her voice. “This is mister… ah… Fancy Pants, was it?”
The stallion nodded, glancing between Cranky and the lady who had quickly linked her hoof around his foreleg. Confused or not, he certainly wasn’t going to protest that.
“Yes, that was it,” the stallion said, his tone a little frostier than before. “I’m afraid your friend has me at a disadvantage, mister…?”
Cranky shook his head to try to steady his thoughts. The pressure of of her hoof against his upper leg was enough to make his head all jumbled up inside.
“Cranky,” he said at last. “Cranky Doodle Donkey.”
To his relief, neither of them laughed at his name, probably too engrossed in this odd bit of interaction. He extended a hoof to the stallion and the two gentlecolts exchanged a brief shake. They both studied each other as they let go, trying to fathom where they stood in this situation, whatever this situation was. The stallion was the one to speak first.
“And how do you know miss Matilda, if I may ask?”
That was a good question, and luckily, Cranky didn’t get the chance to answer it.
“Oh, Cranky here is my escort for the evening,” Matilda said with a light lean against his shoulder. “We’re dear old friends like that, aren’t we Doodle?”
“Um, yes. Dear old friends,” Cranky parroted.
He’d never been called Doodle before, and under any other circumstances, he could tell he’d probably hate that nickname. However, when she said it, it didn’t sound so bad. Just that once, of course.
“Ah I see,” the stallion said with a nod, glancing between the two like he didn’t quite believe it. “It’s a shame he’s been away from your side for so much of the evening. Most escorts would stick closer to such a pretty lady.”
Cranky felt a brief jolt of anger in his gut. How dare this pony imply that he was a bad date! Well, it’s not like he was really her date, but the implication alone still made his blood boil.
“Well,” he heard his own voice saying, more forcefully and more aristocratically than he’d expected, “I was confident Miss Matilda could take care of herself, and go where she pleased. I wouldn’t want her to feel like she was trapped or forced to be around me.”
The words were more pointed than he'd intended, but he liked the way the sounded. The stallion and donkey eyed each other warily, until at last Matilda cleared her throat.
“I certainly didn’t mind a little wandering,” she said stepping between the two slightly to draw attention. “But perhaps you could show me to the punch table? All this chatting has made me a bit thirsty.”
“Of course,” Cranky said with a polite smile, and a quick final glance at the stallion, “Right this way.”
“I’ll talk to you later Mister Pants. Have a wonderful Gala,” she said sweetly, then joined Cranky at his side.
She tightened her hold on his hoof as he turned both of them back into the crowd, towards where the drinks were being served. Once a sea of ponies had made a moving wall between the pair and the stallion, Cranky felt Matilda sigh, and she lessened her grip on him a little.
“I’m sorry about that,” she murmured softly. “He’s been following me around all night, I didn’t know how to brush him off. He’s so young and relentless, I don’t know what he was thinking coming up to me this many times. Nothing seemed to work.”
“That’s okay by me,” Cranky said. “It was a little jarring, sure, but if you needed help, I was happy to give you some.”
“I’m afraid I did,” she said with another sigh. “But it must have been quite a shock to you.”
“...You could say that,” Cranky said with a crooked little smile.
Matilda stopped and then stepped forward to face him. She put on a simple, genuine smile and studied his face.
“Well, at the very least I should introduce myself properly. Hello,” she said, extending a hoof. “My name is Matilda, and I’m very happy to make your acquaintance.”
“Likewise,” Cranky said, taking her delicate hoof.
He hesitated, wondering whether or not to shake the hoof or lean down and kiss it. The moment was long enough that it made her giggle and she withdrew from his grasp just as he made up his mind to go for the kiss.
“So, uh,” he stuttered out. “What brings you to the Gala?”
She shrugged.
“A friend pressured me to do it, gave me a ticket. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb though.”
“I know what you mean,” he said with a laugh. “Something similar happened with my own ticket. But if it matters at all, you look just fine to me, and it seems folks here like you plenty.”
This time she was blushing because of him, and the sight was all the sweeter for it. He wasn’t usually so suave, so confident, but somehow he was doing well! He was more than content to just ride this newfound ability as long as it lasted, although the voice in his head warned that it couldn’t be too long now.
“Oh, well,” she said, shaking her head. “This just isn’t a place for donkeys, really. This is a pony event, maybe that’s why I’m attracting so much unwanted attention, I don’t think it’s because of my attire or looks.”
“Agree to disagree on that,” he said with a chuckle. “So is that why you grabbed hold of me? Too much unwanted attention?”
“I believe you’re the only other Donkey here,” she said, again joining him at his side. “It kind of made you an easy target to help me out of that situation. Besides, you were the only one I haven’t seen snickering under your breath at my kerchief, or simply leering.”
“No, of course not,” Cranky said, trying to suppress a swelling of guilt. “That would be rude.”
The two began moving towards the drinks area again, still arm-in-arm.
“I’m glad you understand,” she said with a smile. “So, thanks for being my knight in shining armor and all that.”
“Any time,” he said, and really truly meant it. “It wasn’t anything special of me, you did all the work, but thanks.”
He liked the sound of being her hero in some way, but he also knew he was feeling a touch flushed and nervous at the thought. Perhaps his confidence was finally waning, as he’d feared it would.
“Once we get to the punch table, you’re welcome to go back to the Gala,” she said. “I’m sure you have friends to go see and things to do, I won’t monopolize too much of your time. I’ve already imposed quite enough as it is!”
“No, that’s fine!” Cranky said, perhaps a little too quickly. “I’m happy for the company. My friend didn’t even show, even though he’s the one who convinced me to come. Steven can be a hair flakey sometimes… so...”
“Oh,” she said, then paused a moment before speaking, and he felt a brief change in her gait. “Then perhaps you’d like to be my escort after all? I don’t dance really, but I promise I’ll talk your ear off if you let me!”
She laughed, and it was the sound of rain falling on a still pond at night. Cranky could practically smell the evening dew. Usually he didn’t take too kindly to long conversations with perfect strangers but, maybe this once, he could actually make an exception.
“Miss Matilda,” he said, as regally as he could manage, “I would be honored.”
Cranky wasn’t sure how much time had passed, and he really didn’t care. Once they’d reached the punch table, and they’d both grabbed a cup of cider, it felt like the words fell easily from their lips. Whether it was about the gala, food, social issues, childhood experiences, conversation flowed naturally, and Cranky was happy just to let it go on. He’d even mentioned things from his youth that were usually embarrassing, but when she’d laughed about them, he’d felt good instead of ashamed. He couldn’t be sure how she’d managed to do that to him, and he tried not to let himself think about it too hard.
After what felt like a delicious eternity, Matilda sighed and shook her head.
“My oh my,” she said, laughter in her tone. “I’m afraid we’ve been completely ignoring the gala!”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” Cranky said, with a laugh of his own. “I’m certainly not complaining. I didn’t even want to come here tonight.”
“Oh no?” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Who wouldn’t want to come to the gala? Even if I feel like I don’t quite belong, it’s still quite a lofty invitation. I thought it’d be exciting, something new to do, I couldn't pass that up!”
Cranky shrugged.
“I guess. Parties and crowds just aren’t much my thing, and I definitely wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t free.”
“Then why did you come after all?” she said, voice playful.
For the first time in their conversation, Cranky started to feel a little uncomfortable. It was a question he’d asked himself several times before, and each time he did, he heard his friend’s voice echoing in his memory. ‘You’re too uptight,’ Steven had said with a dismissive wave of his claw, ‘you never go anywhere. You talk about all these places you want to see, things you think sound interesting, then just shrug them off and grumble about it! Where’s your spirit, your creativity, your sense of adventure! Really, cranky, you don’t want to turn into an old fuddy-duddy before you’re even middle aged, do you?’
“Well,” he said, looking away from his new companion. “Maybe I was just feeling adventurous is all.”
He could feel Matilda studying him carefully, and he wondered if she could sense the bitter defiance in his words. He was here to prove, even briefly, that he was willing to push his comfort zone even when he had no desire to do so. It was a pretty terrible reason to come to a party, and if he was honest with himself, he’d definitely regretted saying he’d go the moment he’d closed his mouth. He prayed that he could keep up the mask for just a while longer, then he could go home, where things were more… comfortable.
“Then you’re the adventurous sort, are you?” she said quietly, in barely more than a whisper.
Cranky glanced up to see her grinning a charming, but somehow mischievous smile. He sensed something in their dynamic had changed.
“...I’d say I can be, yes,” he said, trying to cover the lie in his voice.
“In that case,” she said, leaning close to him and grabbing his arm again. “How about we step away from the soiree for a bit, explore the castle? When are we going to get another chance to do that, hm? I’ve been a little bored with this party anyway, it’s not as lively as I’d expected, and an expedition sounds fun.”
He could feel his sensibilities throw on their breaks, hard. Explore the castle? Were they even allowed to do that? What if they got caught, or got in trouble? Could they be put in prison or exiled from Equestria for invading a royal abode? The idea was completely insane, far too risky, not worth the trouble at all!
But then he caught a look at her face again, and something inside him softened, then melted away.
“Sure,” he heard himself saying, in willing defeat. “Why not?”
His mind instantly began to tell him exactly why not, but he shrugged it off as best as he could. This lady of his was intoxicating, and maybe he was feeling a touch drunk on her. He certainly felt like he was under the influence of some strong substance. She was a little frightening too, very forward, very pushy, but at that moment he didn’t feel much more than slightly nervous. He could ignore his nature for just a tad longer, couldn’t he?
“Great!” she exclaimed, then gave him a tug towards a large golden double door. “Come on, let’s go this way first, before anyone catches on! I’ve been dying to see if we can find the throne room. Then, after that, you can pick the next door we go through! Sound fair?”
Cranky couldn’t have cared less if he got to choose the next door, but Matilda didn’t give him time to say this. She simply rambled on in a hurried, hushed voice as she pulled him away from the punch and the other guests. For his part, he merely allowed himself to be guided, no word or protest. Just a vacant smile, observing Matilda’s every feature as it lit up her face, her enthusiasm radiating out like a life-giving warmth. He knew, in that moment, that he would gladly follow her anywhere she would go, whether he liked it or not.
Author's Note
Please Note: None of these songs are required listening for this story, and you can ignore them if you want. Just, if you wanted to know where I got my chapter titles, now you do.
The Most Magical Night of My Life
“I pick... that one,” Matilda said, after a moment’s thought.
Cranky’s gaze followed her pointing hoof, and he gave the new door a once-over. Unlike many of the others they’d gone through in the last hour of exploration, this one was large, official-looking, and had a steely blue frame, like some sort of mixture between sapphire and silver. This door looked a lot more regal, a lot more important. Until now they’d peeked into large closets, a cooking quarter, a miniature atrium, and more cozy but lovely places. Still, Matilda had never seemed satisfied. Some of her spell on him had worn off, and he was beginning to find this trek a bit tiresome, but she was still too enrapturing for him to call it off. On they’d gone, until she had finally stopped here. Cranky felt a squeeze of anxiety flex in his chest.
“Uh, are you sure?”
She smiled at him, and gave a confident nod.
“Absolutely! A door this interesting has got to have interesting things inside as well!”
“But what if it’s a Princess’ bedroom or something,” he said, worry now apparent in his voice. “Maybe we shouldn’t intrude.”
At this, she gave him an exaggerated pout, and nudged him with her shoulder slightly, like she had done back at the gala.
“Oh come now, don’t get cold hooves just yet. I’d bet my neckerchief that this will be the most exciting place yet. Besides,” she added with a smug wink, “you picked the last door, so it’s my turn. You agreed on that at the start, right?”
He hadn’t exactly agreed, but it wasn’t worth an argument to say that.
“Right,” Cranky said hesitantly. “I suppose I did.”
“Then fair’s fair, let’s give it a try, alright? I’ll go first if it helps.”
Cranky was about to say that ‘ladies first’ probably shouldn’t apply to this particular scenario, when she stepped forward and gave the double doors a hard push. With a soft groan of size and weight, the doors swung inwards a little, and Matilda slipped inside.
“Hey, wait a second!” Cranky hissed to her, but she was already out of sight.
He strode quickly forward, but was instantly stopped by an unexpected sound. There was a sudden muted gasp and cry from inside, then silence. Something went cold in his throat, and his limbs froze in place. Something was wrong, something had happened! It was everything he’d feared, every worry that had passed through his head, come true! The fear was quickly replaced with a different sort of urgency, as he realized that Matilda might be in trouble. Somehow, he knew this was all his fault, and that he had to do something to save her! What kind of knight in shining armor was he otherwise?
Without any further hesitation, Cranky shoved open the door with both hooves and burst inside. He looked about, eyes adjusting to the mostly dark room, and tried to find the shape of his companion.
“Matilda!” he half-shouted, half-whispered. “Matilda I’m here, where are you?!”
“Will you keep your voice down?”
At last his eyes fully adjusted, and he found her simply standing there, calm as can be. As Cranky’s breathing returned to normal, and the adrenaline stopped racing through his pounding heart, he registered that she was not in danger, not in trouble at all! He felt a strange sensation of both relief and anger rushing into his limbs, bringing fatigue with it.
“What happened?” he hissed, much quieter this time. “I thought I heard you yelp or something!”
She cocked her head at him quizzically, then let out a quiet burst of tinkling laughter.
“Oh that! No, no need to worry, I was just stunned by how beautiful this room is. See?”
With one hoof, she gestured in a wide arc over his shoulder, and Cranky was compelled to turn and stare. Despite himself, what he saw made him give a short gasp as well.
They were in a chamber with a high, domed ceiling, and gigantically tall windows looking out at the night’s sky. Cranky didn’t remember going up many flights of stairs, but now knew they must have, because all of Equestria stretched out before them, far below. The archways of each window glistened like crystalline sapphire, and the top of each one was joined by a sculpted crescent moon in a larger circle. Pillars rose from the floor, looking like winding, thorny vines, with each spike gleaming as if it was blown glass. The floor was a deep, black marble, with glinting patches of quartz running through it, so that you couldn’t tell if it was reflecting sky, or if it held stars of its own.
The whole room felt like night itself, like a someone had taken the starry sky and the earth slumbering beneath, and turned it all into a looming, but somehow cozy hall. He felt awed, and he watched the way the starlight flickered as wispy clouds floated across in front of them. The moonlight outlined the windows on the floor in glowing spires, reaching out towards where the both of them stood. It was beautiful, intimidating, and completely enveloping all at once.
After a moment of silence, he gave a low appreciative whistle. The sound of it echoed through the room like the call of a distant owl.
“Well,” he said with an accepting shrug, “I can see why it is you made that noise. This place is… it’s just…”
“It’s beautiful,” she murmured. “It’s like stepping onto the edge of a comet so you can look at the rest of the stars closer up.”
Her voice sounded far away and hollow, like she wasn’t even aware she was speaking. Cranky turned to her and watched as the glint from the stars and the moon twinkled in her eyes when they moved from the floor, to the moon etchings, to the winding pillars and statues, still nestled in darkness around the edges. She looked like a child seeing the world for the first time, and the forgotten smile hanging on her lips did nothing to shake his feelings of wanting to embrace her. Still, it didn’t seem quite right, so he contented himself with standing there, watching. At last, she seemed to break herself free, and her gaze returned to him. She blushed, like she’d just remembered herself, and glanced away from his face.
“See?” she said, tucking a loose strand of hair over one long ear. “I told you this room would be the most interesting one so far.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Cranky admitted. “But you gave me quite a scare there.”
“It wasn’t my intent, I’m sorry about that. But the room warranted a little shock and awe, and I just couldn’t help myself. Next time, you can go in first.”
Cranky let out a sharp weary laugh at this, and Matilda studied him curiously.
“So eager to move onto the next room already, are you?” he asked, immediately regretting how exhausted he sounded.
She hesitated then, glancing about, obviously thinking over what he’d said. After a moment, she slowly shook her head.
“No, come to think of it, I believe I might like to stay here a bit,” she said lightly. “It looks like one stunning view out there, maybe the best in the castle. We’d best take advantage of it while we have the chance.”
He too considered this, realizing that, for him, this was good advice for more than just the view.
“I’m game for that, I could use a break anyway,” he said with a short sigh. “Didn’t expect to do so much walking tonight.”
“What, at a party?” she said with another ring of her musical laughter. “You do know that a party involves hours of being on your feet, no matter how you play it, right?”
“Heh, I don’t go to many parties,” he said. “I probably don’t know much about them at all, to be honest.”
He followed her across the polished marble floor to one of the massive windows, looking out over the land for miles. She stopped as she reached it, and turned a pensive little frown his way.
“That’s a real shame,” she said. “You’re quite the charmer you know, you’d probably do well if you came to more of them.”
He shrugged once more.
“Like I said, I’m not much for crowds and stuff. I prefer to be left alone for the most part.”
Cranky could feel tiny bits of his true nature beginning to infiltrate his voice and his thoughts. He was feeling uneasy, put off by all this. He was still enjoying her company, but his instincts told him it was about time to leave, stop this interaction, before it went wrong somehow. At the same time, he knew he couldn’t break away, and part of him didn’t even want to.
“Another shame,” she said. “I like your company well enough, and think, if you’d never come, I’d have been stuck with that pushy stallion out there all evening! Mister Snooty Shorts, or whatever he called himself. We couldn’t have that, could we?”
She let out a tinkling giggle and nudged him gently.
“I suppose,” he said once more. “I’m glad of that at least. Still, I wish I’d met you anywhere else than here.”
Her frown deepened somewhat.
“You don’t particularly like all the excitement, do you?” she said thoughtfully.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Well, I got that you didn’t like the crowds, you’ve said as much, still I can’t help but wonder how far that extends,” she went on, studying his face all the while. “You mentioned you could be adventurous at times. Do you like to travel? Go try new things? I mean… what do you enjoy doing in your spare time?”
It was such an awkward, pointed question, and Cranky felt a twinge of annoyance at this beautiful creature, that she would get so intrusive so fast. He liked his privacy, and he liked to have his own feelings and thoughts without scrutiny. They’d only known each other for a few hours, what right did she have to question him so?
“I do… lots of things,” he muttered.
“Oh, and what are those ‘lots of things’ if I may ask?”
He grumbled to himself a moment before answering.
“If you must know, I enjoy collecting travel brochures, doing crosswords, photography… and I like making scrap books on occasion, though I haven’t done that in a while. It’s very time consuming, you know.”
Matilda’s face creased in an obviously repressed smile, and a growl of laughter sputtered in her throat. Cranky glared at her.
“Okay, so it’s not the most masculine thing in the world,” he snapped. “But you asked, and you have your answer, happy now?”
She held a hoof to her nose, trying to hide the smile there, but Cranky could easily see it budding and blooming. He would have been more angry if that smile wasn’t so darned enchanting.
“A little,” she said as her voice cracked around the edges with amusement. “And quite the temper you have there! Is that why they call you Cranky?”
“They call me that because it’s my name.”
“Of course! But why not Dandy, or Doodle!” she exclaimed. “You look much more like a Doodle to me.”
“I’m inclined to think that’s an insult.”
“Oh it’s not meant to be,” she said, finally letting herself laugh. Cranky noticed the way her nose crinkled across the top as she did so. “I just don’t think you’re as grumpy as you let on.”
“And what if I am?”
“I say it’s a front,” she said with a curt, authoritative nod. “I say you’re sweet and sensitive and you just don’t like people knowing that, so you put on this air of bitterness and crankiness. Well, I see right through you, mister. A cranky donkey wouldn’t have played along to rescue me from an pestersome stallion.”
Cranky wanted to protest, wanted to tell her that she was wrong. But the way she was looking at him right then, the way she was smiling so smugly, it was hard to be mad with her. Heck, it was hard to say anything at all.
“W-well…”
“Besides,” she said, reaching up to pat the side of his face lightly. “I don’t know any cranky donkeys that would do scrap booking. That seems like a very Doodle thing to do.”
He grumbled and glanced away from her big blue eyes, feeling the heat spread to his cheeks and nose at her touch.
“Okay… well… fine then,” he said at last, as he felt her remove her hoof. “I suppose maybe I have a soft side sometimes. But don’t you go around calling me Doodle.”
“I’ll do as I please!” she exclaimed. “But, I’ll tell you what, I’ll only call you that when you’re being a real sweetheart, that way you can keep up your disguise around others. Fair?”
“Not particularly.”
She laughed again, and he felt the vibration of it ring out in his gut and chest.
“You’ll just have to deal with it then… Doodle.”
“And it begins.”
Cranky wanted to be grumpy about all this, be he found he was smiling in spite of himself. When she said that name, it felt intimate somehow, like it was okay for her to do it. It made him feel warm, and made her feel closer to him, more tangible. Try as he might, he couldn’t bring himself not to smile about that. The pair beamed at each other for a moment, then Matilda's face soured into another half frown.
“Oh what is it now?” Cranky groaned.
“Nothing too big,” she said with a wave of her hoof. “You just got me curious about something.”
“And what's it about time? Wondering why I only wore a tie to this event? I might point out that you only wore a kerchief, so you're not all that different from me here, toots.”
The name was an uncomfortable one, but it served her right for calling him Doodle. She gave him a good-natured glare.
“Don’t you ‘toots’ me, and I was just thinking about what you said regarding travel brochures.”
“What about them?”
“Well,” she said haltingly, “it’s not a very usual thing to collect. Do you get them from places you’ve been to, places you plan to go to?”
“You’re very nosy, you know.”
“Only because I find you interesting,” she said with a wink.
It was enough to make him blush again. She was relentlessly charming, even when she was being infuriating. She was nothing like anything he’d ever dealt with before, and it put him at a loss on how to react, more often than not.
“I just pick out ones I think look neat,” he said tersely. “If it’s a place with nice pictures, someplace with interesting attractions I can read about. It’s nice to have that all right in front of you, in-hoof for you to peruse.”
She was silent a moment, and he got the sense that he’d said something wrong.
“You mean,” she said softly. “You don’t plan on ever going to any of the places you read about? You don’t want to travel?”
“Why should I?” he said with a scoff. “I can read all about them, explore the places through pictures, all without ever leaving my home. Why would I need to go to any of them, it just seems like a lot of hassle. Yep,” he said with a contented sigh and a nod, “I’m happy with just doing things this way.”
The silence persisted even longer this time, and Cranky could clearly feel the weight of it around them. At last, Matilda spoke, her voice firm, almost chiding.
“Why, I don’t believe that for a second.”
It was not at all the response he had expected. Cranky straightened up slightly, looking her over indignantly.
“It’s the truth.” How dare she imply otherwise!
“I don’t buy it,” she said with a shake of her head and a growing smile. “Maybe you’re nervous to go, or you make excuses, but I’d bet everything I own that you’d love to go about adventuring in this great wide world of ours.”
“How would you know?”
She smiled gently at him, affectionately, and again patted him on one shoulder with her hoof. He wanted to draw away from her touch, deny it, but he suddenly got the feeling he wasn’t so much mad at her anymore. Maybe he never had been in the first place.
“I know,” she said gently, “Because you’re up for adventure when it comes along or when it imposes itself on you. You came to this party, even when your friend didn’t show. You talked with a stranger for hours about everything and nothing at all. And when that ever-so-pretty stranger pulled you away from the party to explore a castle, you followed right along. And you did it with a smile on your face, even when you tried to hide it. Don’t think I didn’t see.”
Cranky tried to glare, but it was hard to do so with the pressure of her hoof on his shoulder like that.
“And,” she said, “I say that means you have an adventurous heart, just a reluctant body. All you need is a push, and that wanderlust heart will carry you the rest of the way.”
“Says you.”
“Says I. Come here.”
Once more, Cranky felt himself being pulled by the crook of one arm, and again he let himself be directed. Matilda steered them both towards one of the great yawning windows, then stopped and gestured out over the horizon. Clouds floated lazily across the sky, slithering around mountaintops like they were afraid to make contact. Glistening lights flickered in distant towns and cities, where ponies were still awake this late at night. The rest was all one blanket of deep indigo, so dark that it was hard to tell where the land ended and where the sky began.
“Look,” Matilda said. “Look at those cities out there, those distant mountains, and tell me you don’t see stories about them in your head. Tell me you don’t wonder about who lives out there, what their lives are like. Tell me your mouth doesn’t guess about the flavors of local grasses, your nose doesn’t twitch at the idea of blooming flowers you’ve never smelled before. Tell me you don’t want to climb up to the top of those peaks if only to see what it looks like down on the other side.”
As she spoke, with each suggestion, he felt her words and ideas. He did smell jasmine, lilacs, roses in colors he could only guess at. He did feel the spreading flavor of unfamiliar blades of grass against the roof of his mouth. In his head, he found stories about lives of others he had not yet met, all in vivid detail.
“Now,” he heard her murmur from his side, “tell me you’re not smiling.”
With a barely-conscious hoof, Cranky reached up to his face, and found it creased with a grin. He glanced down at her, and she was smiling up at him as well.
“You’re a clever one, you are,” he said scornfully, but he couldn’t bring himself to try to deny it.
“And proud of it,” she said, amusement in her tone. “So I say again, you’d love to travel, wouldn’t you?”
He hesitated, most parts of him still resisting the idea, then gave an acquiescing shrug.
“I suppose. A little. But I’m still happy to stay at home.”
“Nonsense, you simply have to try it and you’ll love it.”
“Oh, and you travel all the time I suppose?”
“Of course!” Matilda said brightly. “All the time! I’m just here for a short while, until the next adventure sweeps me off to parts unknown.”
She made a gesture out to the countryside again, her voice sounding lilting, like she could break into song at any moment.
“Sounds exciting,” he grumbled.
“It is, and you’d simply adore it,” she said teasingly. “You just have to take that first step. Heck, you could go with me this time, if you’d like! I promise I wouldn’t take you far away, and I’d have you back at a reasonable time.”
Cranky blinked at this suggestion, a strange muddle of emotions overflowing inside him. Was she saying that she wanted to go traveling with him? That she wanted him to stick around, by her side? He tried to pick apart all the different aspects of her expression, figure out what was hiding behind it. But there didn’t seem to be anything hiding, anything masked. She was honest, her large blue eyes shimmering, her smile genuine and natural. The shadow of night made her face bordered with sharp lines, making her whole form so picturesque, like someone had painted her there. It felt like a dream. He felt like she couldn’t possibly be real.
“That’s… quite an offer,” he said, flushing at the thought. “And it’s pretty sudden, don’t you think?”
“It might be, but that doesn’t make it a bad idea.”
“You barely know me,” he said, with a disbelieving bitter laugh. “I might be a terrible traveling companion.”
She gave a carefree toss of her head and grinned at him.
“Maybe so,” her voice was nearly sing-song again, “but I know you’re the kind of nice, sweet fellow who could use a little push, and I’m happy to do that if you’re up for it too. It might be good for you, and I still owe you one.”
“...I don’t know.”
“Oh come now!” she said, playfully, “Take a risk for once! Isn’t there something you’ve always wanted to do, but were too afraid to try?”
There were so many things that came to mind. So many missed opportunities, so many missed chances. But he’d gotten over those, he told himself. Hadn’t he? He’d come to accept that failure was an inevitability when you really, truly wanted something. Risks lead to downfall, pain, hurt. Why bother?
And yet, when he looked at her, he knew somehow that some risks were worth it. The hurt was worth it. And that maybe, just maybe, failure wasn’t the only possible outcome.
“Well,” he said with a quick glance away, “I don’t know about traveling, something that grand, but I know there are a few things I wish I could do.”
“Oh?”
“...Yes.”
“Well, then I challenge you, mister Cranky Doodle Donkey,” she said with a feigned commanding tone, “take one big risk, and I’ll stop trying to get under your skin about being more adventurous. You don’t have to go with me when I travel, you don’t even have to keep exploring this castle with me. You just have to promise to take one real risk for something you want. I bet you won’t regret it. Can you do that for me?”
Could he do that? Dare he? Every molecule in him wanted to hesitate, stop him, and the voice once more ordered him to stand still, that trying wasn’t worth the let down. But her voice was just a little bit louder, her words just a little bit sweeter. He just needed that gentle push.
“I think I can do that,” he said softly.
Then, before she could say anything further, and before he could talk himself out of it, Cranky stepped forward, pulled Matilda to him, and kissed her.
Author's Note
Fun fact, If you would prefer NOT to read a sex scene, you can skip the next section and only read the final one. Your loss.
The Most Magical Night of My Life
At first, Cranky was sure he’d done the absolutely most foolish thing of his life. He’d always been clever in his own way, but he’d never done anything quite so brash, so daring. Maybe he should have asked her more clearly if this was okay, let her make the first move, or let the moment pass altogether. It was too strange of him, she’d hate him, surely this was a mistake! Then he’d felt the press of her hoof against his chest, and felt her body lean against him, and he knew that he was wrong. This was the least foolish thing he’d ever done.
Matilda’s lips were soft and cool, and there was a sweetness that met his tongue as she pressed against him more firmly. He had initiated the kiss, but now he felt her lean into it hard, and he felt a little squealing murmur of pleasure against his mouth. It was surprising enough that his eyes flickered open for an instant, and he saw that she was smiling widely, eyes shut, an expression of bliss filling her every feature. He quickly shut his eyes again, wanting just to focus on the sensation of their lips joined together, to forget the world around them entirely.
He pulled her close, his hooves finding their way around the back of her head into her mane, the other to the back of her neck. He held her in his grasp, and it felt like he was holding actual magic there, that it might dissipate at any moment.
Far too soon, he felt her pull back. His eyes again opened, and he studied her face to see if she was angry or disappointed. To his great relief, her blissful smile had never wavered.
“I… see” she said, her voice sweet and trembling. “I’d wondered if you wanted to do that. Hoped you did.”
“Since the moment I saw you.”
He hardly recognized his own voice. She giggled, and he could practically taste her laughter on his lips.
“I told you that you were a charmer.”
“And you’re enchanting. Beautiful. Otherworldly.”
“Oh hush, you’re saying too much.”
“Then stop me.”
She did, in exactly the way he’d hoped. Matilda leaned forward and fixed him with another kiss, again leaning her full weight against him. This time, however, her lips were warm, as if their kiss was heating up her entire body. He allowed his instincts to take over somewhat, and his mouth opened so that their tongues could meet. She reciprocated in kind, and he again felt a rumble of sound from her, this one lower and less squealing. It wasn’t one of excitement, but one he recognized as intoxication. He was no longer the only one drunk on their interactions.
Cranky’s hooves ran down her head and neck to her shoulders, feeling the silkiness of her neckerchief under his touch, the way her coat felt even more silky than that. He felt a shiver run through her body as his hooves moved, and this time the sound that passed between their united lips came from him. She felt fragile, like he could break her in an instant, but also so alive, a being of pure energy. It was terrifying and intriguing all at once. He felt unworthy of her. He didn’t care.
He pulled his head back briefly to gasp in the cold air of the dark palace room, and it tasted bitter in comparison to her. The air felt less needed than her at that moment, and he plunged back into another kiss with abandon, his hooves beginning to move over her neck and shoulders under their own guidance. Her hooves slid up his chest to his neck, and he felt a caress down the side of his face, one of the most intimate sensations he’d ever experienced. He didn’t want it to stop, nothing could possibly be better than this.
She gave another wilting-sounding sigh against his lips, and drew her head away from him to look up into his face. The two studied each other, and Cranky could feel a silent conversation taking place. Where is this going? Do I stop? Do I tell you to stop? Is this what you want? Is this what I want?
“I…” he managed to say, his voice trembling, but there were no other words for him to use.
Matilda’s large blue eyes passed over his face as his mouth moved wordlessly, and then she smiled ever so gently, and held a hoof to his lips to still them. She looked as though she might cry, might laugh, might faint, Cranky just couldn’t be sure. At last, she spoke.
“Don’t overthink this,” she murmured. “It feels right to me too. Where’s your sense of adventure?”
It was exactly the push he needed.
Cranky clasped her shoulders and drew her with a caress of her cheek back up to his mouth. He kissed her, hard, without restraint, letting any feelings of fear or guilt slip away. He allowed himself to want her, right then, right there, in ways more intimate than he ought ever dream of. He could feel a rush of sensation, a pull of inertia working its way down his chest to his gut, and even to parts lower. He gripped her tightly, holding their bodies closer, so that even their heartbeats could feel one another.
“Matilda,” he whispered against her lips, just enjoying the way her name filled his mouth, the undulation of the syllables. It wasn’t a question, a command, only a word that tasted like starlight and silk.
She shuddered again in his grasp, and he felt her moan back against him just at hearing her name said. He said it again between kisses, working his lips across her cheek to the crook of her jaw, her neck, the curve where her shoulder met her chest. Every inch of her was warm and alive, and he could feel her energy filtering into his body with each individual kiss.
Her voice came out in thready, half-conscious moans at his touch, and her hooves began to move across his chest. They tugged at his tie, loosening it, and Cranky reached up to help her pull it free. It fluttered to the floor like a forgotten party streamer. His hooves moved up to the back of her head in response, pulling the end of the pink ribbon until her mane tumbled free in a cascade of floral scents and shimmer. He felt the mane brush his face, his ears, like it was a whisper in physical form.
He wasn’t thinking or paying attention, entirely going by feel now, so he didn’t fully notice as they sank back towards the floor. He didn’t notice as his body moved over her, and her head bent to rest against the black marble. He didn’t even notice as her mane splayed out against the smooth surface, creating a dark shimmering halo around her head. Only when her legs parted, and her back hooves grazed his hips, did he realize what was about to happen.
Finally, this gave him pause. He stopped, lifted his head away, and looked down at her beneath him. Her hooves were up against his chest, with his on either side of her head. She was in complete surrender to him, but her gaze was inviting, willing, encouraging. Hesitation again slipped into his thoughts, nerves, fear. He’d done this before once or twice, but it had never felt like this, and he’d only met her tonight. This seemed crazy all of a sudden, completely irrational. He should stop this, before he went too far.
But… didn’t he want this? She was an angel, didn’t he want her to be his angel, in her heart and body too? And just as importantly, didn’t she want this? He could get hurt, he might make a mistake, he might disappoint her somehow. But could this really, possibly, maybe… be worth the risk?
Cranky wet his lips with his tongue, only now realizing how parched with hard breathing they were.
“Matilda, should we…?”
“No, we shouldn’t stop,” she said quickly with a shake of her head.
Cranky couldn’t help but smile then, and he felt a swell of relief in his chest.
“I was going to say, should we keep going?”
She looked at him, her expression one of mild surprise, then she smiled and laughed. A real, blushing, honest laugh, the same one he’d first heard when he saw her.
“Yes,” she breathed, “for the love of Equestria, yes!”
That was enough for him. Cranky bent to seal their mouths in another kiss, then pushed his hips forward against her. He was already so hard, so wanting, and he could feel the seeping of warm moisture from her against his inner thighs. It was a matter of breaths and heartbeats for him to line himself up with her opening, and for him to make his first thrust inside of her.
Matilda broke the kiss with an abrupt gasp. At first, Cranky was afraid he’d hurt her, but the breathy gasp ended in a warbling moan of pleasure, and he knew she’d be okay. She was so warm inside, a velvety wetness completely encasing him, and the pleasure was so great that he had to force himself not to cry out in ecstasy. Her legs shuddered on either side of him, and he paused, letting her adjust to his size, relax around his member. She clenched briefly, so tight it was almost painful, and then he felt her muscles give somewhat, and her legs stopped trembling. Only then, once they’d both regained some control of themselves, did he begin to move.
His pace was a slow, steady one, just a simple in, then out. Not so deep as to cause pain, but not so far out that he ever fully exited her. With each individual stroke, he could feel her twitch and tighten around him, then release as he plunged slowly back in. It was as if her body was desperately trying to hold him inside, afraid he might withdraw. He was going to do nothing of the sort.
For his part, Cranky couldn’t suppress the occasional groan or muffled, guttural sigh of relief. As his hips began to find their own rhythm, unbidden by his thoughts, he allowed himself to focus on brief snapshots of the jenny beneath him. Her head rose on occasion to toss back, her mane lashing out against the marble like vines, her mouth opening in wordless cries and panting. Her hooves pawed against him as he thrust deeper inside her, reaching new and warmer depths than he had yet touched. Her eyes opened, half-focused and dreamy, before shutting with each specific wave of pleasure that hit her. He couldn’t be sure if it was evening dew against flower petals, or impassioned sweat that kissed her brow and cheek.
Her hips began to find a pace of their own as well. They rose as he came down against them, then withdrew against the hard stone floor as he pulled back. Each thrust became deeper, each retreat more severe. Her body plucked at him, stroking him from head to base, and his own moans became louder, more desperate. He’d never really been vocal before, but right then he didn’t feel ashamed to be so. Any nerves he had seemed to pale in comparison to the pleasure spiking through his mind and body.
In his loins, Cranky began to feel a mild urgency. It was slowly building but there, as an ache that demanded to be released. He tried to slow, to prolong things, but he felt Matilda tighten her back hooves around him, urging to keep up with his current rhythm. The tightness in her legs moved to between them, and she clamped down briefly on him. When he let out a moan this time, he could hear her own echoing behind it.
“Matilda,” he said again, breathing it out between strokes like it in itself was a sound of pleasure. “Matilda, Matilda, Matilda…”
Her soft cries of desire and lust rose in intensity and passion, and soon her hips were actually thrusting up against him in time. He couldn’t help but quicken his movements, tense the muscles in his stomach and rear, driving himself into her over and over again with abandon now. He wanted her. He had her. No matter what, in this moment, they were together, joined, one, and enjoying every second of it. It was the most alive he’d ever felt.
The urgency in his loins was now more than mild. It demanded more of him, pushed him harder, and he thrust deep and fast, his pace becoming wild. Her rhythm seemed unable to keep up, and he didn’t care, as long as she was enjoying it. At last, she was left holding onto him, gripping for dear life, her every breath coming with sound and wanting. He could feel her body clenching around him over and over again, with increasing intensity, spurring him onward. It wouldn’t be long now.
Something in him compelled him to speak, to tell her what was about to happen. But as his eyes focused down on her, he could see tears of exertion hanging in her eyes, a flush in her cheeks, and words ready to burst from her own lips. The sight was enough to push him to the very brink.
“Matilda, I…” he gasped out, feeling his body reaching the point of no return.
Wordlessly, she wound her hooves around his back holding him deeply inside her, thrusting up against his hips. As his lips parted in a moan, she pulled him down to her body, joining their cries of release into one trembling kiss. He felt her go rigid, felt a rush of warm liquid against his legs, and it was all he could take. The feeling of her cumming around him was too much, and with a shudder that rippled from his head to his hooves, he let go. He pumped his hips forward once, twice, as a burst of pleasure erupted in his loins, spilling all he had into her body.
The vibration of pleasure traveled through his form over and over, always pumping at last to the same point, where their bodies met. His final thrusts slowed, his own muscles released, and he fell towards her, barely catching himself with quaking hooves. He closed his eyes, trying to get enough cool air into his lungs to think straight, and when he opened his eyes, he found an angel beneath him on a starry marble floor, the entire cosmos gleaming in her satisfied gaze. And she was smiling, the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.
With a trembling hoof, he reached up to her cheek and touched it gingerly, feeling that her body was still shaking as well. His eyes moved over every inch of her face, a smile slowly spreading across his own lips.
“Are you alright?” he managed to whisper.
She nodded, and he continued to study her. Between pants, she cocked her head and looked at him with a touch of concern in her expression.
“What is it?” she breathed.
Cranky’s smile broadened, and he again ran a hoof over her cheek.
“Just checking to make sure you’re real,” he said. “I expect to wake up any minute now.”
She chuckled, and he could feel the rumble of it pass from her body into his.
“Charmer.”
“Only for you.”
He leaned down and gave her a gentle, affectionate kiss. He held it there, just a tender press of her lips against his, a gesture of intimacy rather than desire. When at last he withdrew, he felt he could finally breathe again.
Matilda gave a whimper as Cranky pulled out of her, and he felt a sudden rush of fluid follow. He glanced down between their bodies to see a shimmer of paleness across the dark of the marble, a stark contrast. It might have been gross to him before, messy, but right now, it seemed to fit, like another scattering of stars in the reflection on the surface. He rolled to lie beside her, and stared up through the window next to them. The moon was beginning to set, and he couldn’t say for sure how long they’d been there. But the night wasn’t over yet, they could stay at least a while longer.
There was the sound of a sigh next to him, and then her felt her nuzzle up beneath his leg to rest her head against his chest. He curled a leg protectively around her, hugging her close, and the two sighed in unison as the glitter of afterglow settled around them.
“That was…” Cranky said, searching for a word, “exactly what I needed.”
“I could say the same. You were wonderful,” Matilda said dreamily.
“You’re just saying that.”
“I most certainly am not.”
“Would… would it be foolish of me to say that I think I’m in love with you?” Cranky said haltingly.
It didn’t seem like the right thing to say, but at the same time, he had to ask. Hasty though it was, strange though it was, he had a feeling inside him he couldn’t deny, and he knew it was real. Matilda was silent a moment, then he felt the vibration of her laughter.
“It would, but you can say it anyway if you like.”
“Well, then… I think I’m in love with you.”
“I think I might be as well.”
They both went silent, basking in the words that hung in the air around them like dancing fireflies. Matilda was the first to break the silence, and now her voice was less playful, more serious.
“Hey, Doodle?” she asked.
“Yes?” he didn’t even balk at the name anymore.
“Would you… like to find out for sure?”
Cranky raised his head to glance down at her. She looked back up from his chest, smiling distantly, but nervously too. As if there was any chance in the world of him saying no.
“Well, what exactly are you proposing?”
“I offered to take you with me, travel somewhere when I leave. If you come see me tomorrow, at my room, we can talk about it more but... I don’t know, what do you say? Want to come adventuring with me a while longer, see where this adventure,” she patted his chest then, right over his heart, “will lead to?”
Cranky drank in the scene of her, taking a mental picture of her sprawled across his chest, capturing it so he might never forget. Then, once he had it all outlined and shaded in, he allowed himself a growing grin.
“It might be rash of me, but you know, maybe rash is good. Maybe it’s the push I’ve been looking for, and I really would like to see where all this leads. I know how I feel about you, I know you feel for me too, and I know that this has been the most magical night of my life. If you lead me, I will follow you. I will follow wherever you lead, because in the short time I’ve known you, you have only lead to beautiful, magical things.
Matilda gasped in, and he could see a blush return to her cheeks. Her smile grew, now hopeful, excited.
“Are you saying you’ll go with me then?” she said, her voice quavering.
“Miss Matilda,” Cranky said, as regally as he could manage. “I would be honored.”
Author's Note
The Most Magical Night of My Life
Cranky looked over the contents of his suitcase one last time. He had his toothbrush, a coat for cold weather, a tie for dressy occasions, hair gel to style his mane, some bits he’d saved up, and an empty scrapbook, just in case. It wasn’t much, a meager travel bag, and he kept wondering if he was leaving something out. He’d never really traveled before, so he was sure he’d mess up somehow, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that he’d be with Matilda.
What was more, he’d come to a decision. They’d have to see if they could get along, how compatible they were in general, but he wanted to ask her if they could be together. Be official. Even if they were just traveling together, he wanted to be able to call her his. The idea of asking her was daunting, but also exciting. After last night, he’d come to realize that the feeling of taking a leap like this wasn’t so scary after all. Sometimes things really were worth the risk.
Before he could again second guess his packing skills, Cranky shut the suitcase and hoisted it onto his back. He stepped out into the street, shutting the door of his little shack behind him, and locking it. For once, an adventure sounded pretty inviting.
The whole walk over to Matilda’s room near the palace, Cranky went through what to say, what words to use. Do it delicately, or just jump in hooves first? Wait to see what she had to say? Wait until they were already abroad? He couldn’t decide, perhaps he’d just wing it. He'd never done the 'winging it' thing before, but she seemed to like spontaneity and honesty, so perhaps that would be best. At the very least, it was bound to make her smile, and that was a worthy achievement. Before he knew it, he was at her doorstep, still unsure what to do besides knock.
Cranky took a few deep breaths, preparing to be more daring than he’d ever been before, and at last he rapped on her door with one clenched hoof. He stepped quickly back, and reached up to hastily straighten his mane one final time, then coughed to check his breath. Both were at least vaguely acceptable, so they'd have to do. He waited with building anticipation, smiling, to hear her dainty laughter or voice call from the other side of the door to invite him in.
But it didn’t come.
He knocked again, and once more stepped back to wait, but still nothing. His brow furrowed in concern, and he checked the address to be sure he had it right. This was the right room, she should be here, surely. He reached down to jiggle the doorknob, and to his surprise, he found it unlocked. A sudden sense of foreboding rose to lodge itself in his throat as he turned the knob and pushed the door inwards. It swung open with a soft, high pitched creak.
“Matilda?” he called.
No answer.
“Matilda? Are you here?” he called once more, then stepped inside. “I’m coming in, I…”
Cranky stopped in the doorway, as his eyes moved around the room, collecting pieces of a story he didn’t want to believe. The bed was made, the pillows were neat. The closet was open and empty, one wire hanger the only thing remaining inside. There were no suitcases, no sign of any life, as if the place had been neatly arranged before being vacated. There was no scent of her wafting perfume, no sign of her living there. No matter where he glanced, he could see nothing to link her to this place, nothing to confirm that she was here. No matter how he tried to retell what he was seeing in his head, the narrative stayed the same: She was gone.
The lump in his throat went solid, and he choked on it as he tried to swallow. She was gone. Gone, just like that. Had she been a dream after all? Had she been a beam of moonlight that he’d tried to hold too tightly? Last night hadn’t happened, he’d been fooling himself, the delusion of a donkey who dared to dream of faraway places that he’d never visit. He’d always been destined for failure. He’d always been destined to be alone.
Cranky sat heavily down on the floor, and stared at his own hooves. He couldn't yet put a name to the feelings he was experiencing as they fought it out inside him. There was an ache, an actual physical ache that he felt in every joint and every sinew, a confusing pain that had no exact source. At last, the victorious emotion emerged, one of a deep and unexplainable betrayal. She'd said such sweet things, offered him such kisses and opportunities as he'd never tasted before. She'd let him believe she was real and tangible, that he could hold her after the night had passed. She'd even said she thought she was in love with him, some of the best words he'd ever heard. Then she'd vanished, no word, no trace. Off to the next room in the castle, the next exciting party, now that this one was through. Worst of all, Cranky feared that he had been the only one to feel anything real between them in the first place.
To his great dismay, he realized that he'd been right all along: He never should have tried. This hurt, this pain was too much. It wasn’t worth the risk, and the risk hadn’t paid off. She’d either lied or left without a word. Maybe she’d decided she didn’t love him after all.
It was the same voice as before, but suddenly a new voice sprang up. It was one he hadn’t known he possessed, and it was loud, bossy, nosy, intruding. He couldn’t help but listen.
Whatever the reason for her leaving, didn’t he deserve to know it? She'd asked for him to go with her, and what he'd felt at that request had been genuine, no mere dream. He couldn't, wouldn't believe that she could be that heartless and cold as to do all that while feeling nothing. Had something unexpected happened to pull her away? Didn’t he deserve the chance to ask her what had happened, didn't she owe him that? Why should her disappearing act mean that he should pretend he hadn't felt a moment of genuine, real love? He was mad, hurt, but something in him still bloomed and grew. He still felt alive. That love was still there, even if she didn't return it. He didn’t want to go home, didn’t want to hide away. Instead, he found a sort of urgent, pushing force rising. That he had to find her.
Had he not promised to always follow her? That she would lead him to beautiful things? Hadn’t he smiled when dreaming with her of traveling to distant mountains and cities? She’d wanted him to travel, and he’d found he wanted to as well. Just because she wasn’t there, that didn’t mean he still couldn’t go. His wanderlust heart was broken, maybe, but it was still beating strong in his chest. Yes, he decided, feeling his body straighten up. That was what he would do. He would pick a spot, something out of one of his brochures, and set out to go there right this instant. Matilda couldn’t have traveled far, perhaps he’d get lucky and she’d be there, waiting for him to find. And if she wasn’t? He could ask about her, track her down, pick a new destination. Even if she was at the ends of Equestria, he’d find her.
Along the way, he could take pictures, collect experiences he’d only hoped and wished for, eat those sweet grasses, smell those unknown flowers. He could have this. He deserved this. And as he went, he could look out into crowds, scan passing faces, and perhaps eventually, maybe, she’d be there. And if she ever was, he could tell her he loved her, that he'd loved her at first sight. And he could ask why she'd left him with nothing but wanderlust and memories.
With a resigned sigh, Cranky rose and again hoisted his suitcase. There was no sense in going home, no sense in putting this off long enough for him to talk himself out of it. He had to go, had to leave this place that seemed so hollow to him now. There was nothing for him in this city anymore, and another one would at the very least be something of an adventure. If he hurried, he thought, he could get to the train station before the next express left to Manehattan. It would be a perfect place to start, a big city with plenty of excitement to attract an adventurous young jenny. With any luck, his wanderings wouldn't last too long.
There was nothing to it but to do it, he thought. There was no going back. He gave a last glance around the empty room, so sterile and dead feeling without Matilda in it, then stepped through the doorway. He turned and pulled the door shut hard behind him, and walked quickly away without ever looking back.
As the door clicked closed, the gust of air and force was enough to knock free the unnoticed note taped there. It slipped from the back of the door and fluttered quietly to the floor, where it at last rested in the fine dust beside the doorstep, where Cranky had sat only moments before. On its outside face, in scrawling cursive letters, inside of a looping heart, was one simple word.
All it said was “Doodle.”
-End-
Author's Note
