Puzzling Pink Pecks on a Purple Pony Princess
Surprising Smooches and snickers.
Twilight stared after the retreating tail of Pinkie Pie, feeling completely and absolutely befuddled.
Yes, befuddled was, in Twilight’s mind, the most accurate way to describe herself at just that particular moment. Which in and of itself was a bit surprising, considering her interactions with Pinkie Pie had often left her feeling a bit befuddled to begin with, and she ought to be expecting it. Yet the mare had still managed to surprise her.
Her hoof subconsciously reached up to touch the cheek Pinkie had just kissed, before prancing off to work, giggling the whole way.
It had been a brief kiss, almost what Rarity--or Cadance--would describe as chaste, she was sure, yet…
Now that Twilight thought about it, Pinkie had been acting rather odd all day. All of her friends had been acting odd all day, actually. It was the middle of winter and since none of her friends really had anything else to do, she had invited them to her castle and asked for their help in doing a research project: it might be her library, but that hardly meant she had read every book in it--what would be the fun in that?--so she still needed to do research.
At first, several of them--mostly Rainbow Dash and Applejack, the latter of whom had never struck her as much for non-practical knowledge and the former of which derided any book that didn’t involve questionable archeological practises as ‘boring’--had groaned at first. But after a few hours, everypony seemed to be enjoying themselves.
Yet, now that she thought about it, two things stood out to her: firstly, every time Pinkie Pie had passed by her, the mare had burst out giggling as soon as she had been out of eyesight. Years of being friends with her had prevented Twilight from finding the laughter annoying, even if it was a library and not a comedy club, but it was odd. Did she have something on her face?
For a brief second, as Twilight’s hoof rested on the kiss, she wondered if it had been a kiss at all--perhaps she had gotten some fragment of food stuck to her cheek and didn’t notice? That would certainly be funny, or High Humor’s Humorous Handbook had said in chapter 4, ‘physical comedy’. Yet, she had a difficult time imagining that, for one, Rarity or Fluttershy would have allowed her to trot around, even inside, with a piece of lettuce stuck to her cheek and say nothing. It also seemed unlikely that Pinkie would clean it off with her mouth. She was many things, but rarely disgusting. Twilight attributed that to years of her working for Mr and Mrs Cake, and was deeply grateful for it.
Now that she thought about it, though, her friends had been acting odd all day, too. Every few moments they’d burst out into snickers or cooing noises, the latter most coming from Fluttershy. Twilight had assumed it was because she had found the baby animal picture books that she had ordered specially for her friend. She had scattered among the shelves for her benefit, but now that she thought about it, Fluttershy hadn’t been near that section at all (her plan for Fluttershy to happen across the books a random was stymied by Twilight’s obsessive compulsive need for books to be appropriately shelved).
Twilight frowned. Perhaps they knew something.
Letting her hoof drop and composing herself, Twilight turned away from the door the perky pink pony had just pronked through, and looked for her friends, only to blink in surprise when she found the four of them already grouped together around a reading table, greeting her with large grins that they looked like they were trying to hide, and failing. They looked--or at least Applejack and Rainbow did --amused, whereas Rarity looked more self satisfied than anything. Fluttershy was grinning as well, in a Fluttershy sort of way, which was to say she was smiling and you could see it without having navigate the mare’s mane.
That gave her pause. Perhaps it was a prank they were pulling on her? It wouldn’t be the first time her friends had teamed up for such a thing, but rarely did it involve all five of them, and certainly not Rarity or Fluttershy, who generally didn’t see the appeal in such things.
She shook her head. “Does anypony know what that was about?” She asked, eyeing her friends one by one as she felt a small bubble of embarrassment rise up within her. It was embarrassing enough that Pinkie had kissed it, but it was just occurring to her now that they had all seen it, too. At least she didn't have to explain what ‘that’ was.
Their reactions weren’t what she expected.
“Seriously!?” Rainbow said, rearing up on her hind legs and planting her front hooves on the table top. “You don’t know? You--”
“Simmer down, sugarcube,” Applejack said, grabbing Rainbow’s shoulder and yanking her back onto her butt. “No need to get your tail in a knot.”
“But, but!” Rainbow sputtered, struggling against the much stronger mare’s grip.
Rarity shook her head, as she pointedly ignored the two struggling mares. “What is it that’s confusing you, darling?”
“What do you mean what’s confusing me?” Twilight asked as her brow creased. “Pinkie kissed me! You all saw that, right?”
For a moment, Twilight felt a brief stab of worry. Perhaps she had just imagined Pinkie kissing her on her cheek. If so, that wasn’t a good sign: waking, involuntary hallucinations were often the first sign of early onset Clover’s Disease. Fortunately, those fears were mostly laid to rest as Rarity nodded her head, even if the movement seemed somehow pitying.
“Well, why?” Twilight said, feeling the question was somewhat needless but that she was going to have to pull the answers out of her friends one by one. Assuming they knew anything.
“Oh come ON!” Rainbow said, flaring her wings and managing to shove off the restraining hoof of Applejack to hover, vaguely threateningly, over Twilight. “You can’t possibly be this dense!”
“Whoa there, cowgirl,” Applejack said, getting to her hooves and frowning a bit at Twilight--the bulk of it was reserved for Rainbow Dash, however. “As I recall, you weren’t so up and up on it yourself, either.”
“I--well--I!” Rainbow sputtered, somehow defeated by Applejack’s off hoof comment. “I said I was sorry about that!”
Twilight was feeling more and more confused by the minute.
“Sorry don’t change the fact that I had to explain a few things to my sister that I really would’ve rather have left until after she had gotten her cutie mark, ya hear?” Applejack said a bit coolly. Then she turned to Twilight, and added just as coolly: “Now, as for you, sugarcube, you haven’t got a clue why she kissed you?”
“Well,” Twilight said, rubbing her chin as she stared at the ceiling in thought. “Normally, kissing is a display of affection, and--oh!” Twilight blinked as an idea popped into her head. “Maybe it’s some sort of earth pony holiday? You know, where you say goodbye to your friends by kissing them?”
Applejack gave her a flat look while the other three of them expressed various forms of exasperation.
Still, it seemed unlike that this was a prank her friends were in on, if this was how they were reacting. Truthfully, it had been a bit of a long shot since she wasn’t really sure what the joke was supposed to be. It made her blush, true, but Twilight kind of liked it, just like she kinda liked Pinkie. Well, there was no ‘kinda’ about liking Pinkie. The mare… was Pinkie.
At first, Pinkie struck her as one of her worst friends--which pained her to think, let alone say, but it was true. She was everything Twilight was not; carefree, hyper, perhaps a bit irresponsible, and a certain lack of… curiosity. She very much went with the flow, and Twilight had a hard time dealing with somepony who never wanted to get to the root cause of anything.
Under normal circumstances--Pinkie insisting that she was friends with everypony notwithstanding--Twilight doubted she would have ever became friends with the pony. Obviously the trek through the deathly woods to fight off a mad goddess was an excellent spark for starting friendships, even if so far Twilight hadn’t the data to back up that hypothesis. There was a certain shortage of evil alicorns that she could just pull out and dump on a collective group of near strangers to see if they’d become friends. Plus, the ethics committee would run herd over her for sure, if she tried it.
She was grateful for it, though; Over time, Twilight had come to see Pinkie for more than who she was on the surface, and to appreciate her for her better qualities, like a genuine love of other ponies, and how free she ultimately was. It was true they were opposites in many ways, including body type--since Pinkie’s years of party planning had gifted the mare with a healthy layer of fat that Twilight thought just filled out her curves very nicely--but Twilight had come to value her as much as any of her friends.
Perhaps even more.
Lately, Twilight had been dwelling on just how lucky she was to have such friends like Pinkie Pie--and in many ways, especially Pinkie Pie.
She was thinking it might be worth it to hang out with the mare more… especially if she got to fool around with her secret treasure; Pinkie Pie’s extensive files on Ponyvillians, of course.
“Yo!” Rainbow’s hoof gently tapped Twilight on the side of the head, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Equestria to Twilight, come in, Twilight!”
Twilight gave her other friend a glare. “What?”
“You zoned out, darling,” Rarity said.
Oh. Twilight thought, blushing slightly, then she frowned. Those barely concealed smiles were back.
“You’re such an egghead, Twilight.” Rainbow laughed, shaking her head. “Seriously.”
“Huh?” Twilight wasn’t sure what the mare meant by that--it wasn’t like she wasn’t prone to zoning out--and quickly folded her wings--somehow they had gotten spread. The dang things were always moving of their own accord. “Listen, girls, I’m really confused here!”
“Um,” Fluttershy’s voice came out soft and gentle--which was rather startling since it was coming from Twilight’s left shoulder and she hadn’t even noticed the mare getting up. Fluttershy’s cheeks were a rosy red, and she seemed even shyer than normal. “Do… do you remember, uh, what you were doing? Today, I mean?”
“I was shelving books,” Twilight said confidently, but somehow she doubted that would be cause for mirth from Pinkie--although she did find the oddest things funny, sometimes.
“O-oh.” Fluttershy said, blushing harder and retreating into her mane. “I see.”
“Alright, this is gettin’ embarassin’ for all involved,” Applejack snorted, trotting away from the table and looking up at the shelves, searching for one book, presumably. “And that includes Pinkie, and she ain’t even here.”
Applejack paused for a second, squinting at some book near the top shelf; obviously she was trying to read whatever the title was was. Twilight was just about to go and get the ladder for her friend when she nodded, turned, and bucked the shelf with a single rear hoof.
“APPLEJACK!” Twilight cried. “I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times! They’re book shelves, not apple trees!”
“Uh huh,” Applejack said, casually holding out a hoof; to Twilight's surprise a book fell into it. Applejack glanced at the cover and quickly flipped through it to the very last pages, then walked over to her, holding it out. “Lookie here, Twilight, have a gander if you don’t mind.”
Twilight couldn’t help herself; as soon as Applejack pushed it under her nose: “‘I will now mention one final wing expression, one that changed my life forever. Staring at wings is an expression of interest. Wingboners are an expression of physical attraction. But there is one thing missing in this list. A display of emotional attraction. Showing that you care for the pony, in a deeper sense than a simple physical attraction.
“It is called 'Feathermarking'?” Twilight frowned and quickly read the rest without speaking, feeling somewhat mystified as to why Applejack was showing it to her.
“Okay,” She said finally, looking up from the book and tilting her head as she looked at Applejack. “What’s your point? I mean, it doesn’t even apply! Pinkie’s an earth pony and I’m a uni…” Twilight let her voice trail off as she slowly turned her head, looking back at the feature that marked her as definitely not a unicorn: her wings.
“...no” Twilight breathed. She stared at those traitorous, pegasus limbs and then looked back at Applejack and the rest of her friends.
“‘Fraid so, sugarcube,” Applejack said with a smirk. “Dem flipper flappers of you've been flailing about like a drowning filly, swattin’ that booty every time Pinkie came within wing’s length of ya. All day.”
Twilight sat down, hard, as she tried to grasp the sheer magnitude of what Applejack was saying. Had she really been so focused on her work that she hadn’t even noticed what her subconscious was doing? Ever since she had become an alicorn, Twilight was intimately aware of a pegasus’ wings to reflect her or his moods, often reacting without thought from their owner. But Twilight wasn’t even attracted to Pinkie Pie!
Right?
“Yeah you should’ve seen her face,” Rainbow laughed, shaking her head. “The first time you touched her cutie mark, she practically jumped out of her skin.”
This, for some reason, made Twilight irrationally angry. “Why didn’t any of you say anything? This isn’t funny, Rainbow Dash! You’re basically telling me I spent all day subconsciously sexually harassing a friend! You must have known I wasn’t aware of it! Who knows how she must feel!” Twilight added, her voice losing strength, as she suddenly felt deeply ashamed of herself. She’d have to apologize to Pinkie, and soon.
“Darling, I realize it can be… embarrassing when one’s body acts of its own accord, particularly in such instances,” Rarity said evenly, still smiling. “But--and I hasten to point this out--you do remember what started this whole conversation, don’t you?”
Twilight felt her cheeks burn as she did, in fact, remember. The spot on her cheek where Pinkie had kissed her--in a friendly way, to be sure--seemed to almost ignite. After a second she looked away from her friends, in as much of a nonchalant way as she could manage.
“Besides,” Fluttershy said, “It’s not really, um, a sex thing, Twilight. It’s more of a… a intimate expression of interest, you see.”
“I was grabbing her butt!” Twilight groaned in exasperation.
“Nah,” Rainbow snorted. “You haven’t got the finesse to turn a ‘marking into a groping, Twi.”
“Years of practice, right Dash?” Applejack added, earning her an annoyed look from the pegasus in question.
“Regardless,” Twilight said, after a couple of deep breaths. “I better go and apologize, it wasn’t right.”
“Apologize for what?” Pinkie asked, popping up beside Twilight, with a faint dusting of snow over her coat--and pristine tray of cupcakes balanced on her head.
Twilight--and the rest of her friends, yelped and stumbled away from the suddenly appearing mare, until they realized who it was.
“Pinkie!” Twilight said, with a bit more enthusiasm than was warranted. Then: “Wait, I thought you had to get to work?”
“I did!” Pinkie agreed. “But the snowstorm’s shut everything down, so the Cakes don’t need me!”
There wasn’t supposed to be a snowstorm until later, as far as Twilight knew, and as everypony turned to look at Rainbow Dash, she had the impression she wasn’t the only pony with that impression.
Rainbow Dash’s face grew pale. “Oh horseapples!” she said, and darted around and out the nearest window without so much as a goodbye.
“Oh no!” Pinkie said sadly, as she deftly spun the tray off her head and slid it onto the table. “She didn’t even get her cupcake!”
“Not sure she deserves one, if the storm’s that bad,” Applejack said with a grunt, as she took one. “I keep telling the mare, she has to work hard!”
“She does work hard, Applejack, you know that,” Rarity insisted. “Just because--”
Twilight ignored the two mares as she brushed some of the snow off Pinkie’s back with her wing--only for a second later to realize what she was doing was dangerously close to what she had been doing before.
Pinkie must have noticed too, because she grinned at Twilight with an oddly sly expression, which was enough to light up Twilight’s face again.
She had to resolve this. As Applejack and Rarity argued, Twilight pulled Pinkie off to one of the corners of the Library, although she made sure to keep in plain sight of the arguing ponies. She couldn’t help noticing Fluttershy sneaking shy peeks at them as she did, either.
“Listen, Pinkie,” Twilight began, steeling her resolve with a deep breath. “I’m sorry, about, um, this afternoon. About the f-feathermarking. You know what that…?” Pinkie nodded, looking surprisingly solemn. “Right. So… I’m sorry if I offended you.”
Pinkie tilted her head, looking a bit puzzled, then a smile flashed across her muzzle as she smiled. “Okay-Dokey, I forgive you, Twilight.”
Twilight sighed heavily with relief, and managed a weak smile. She started to say ‘thank you’, but Pinkie wasn’t finished:
“You wanna go out sometime?” Pinkie finished with a happy little bounce.
Twilight’s thank you caught her her mouth and she coughed in surprise. “Go--go out?!” she repeated.
“Sure!” Pinkie laughed. “I mean, you’re interested, and I know this great indoor circus that I have an extra ticket to… I wasn’t going to go, ‘cause I didn’t want to choose between my friends--”
Twilight nodded in sympathy despite herself; after all, she had been there.
“--but no pony would say I was a bad pony if I took my special somepony, yeah?” Pinkie concluded, bobbing her head. Then she giggled: “Oh, of course!” Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out a… feather duster?
Part of her couldn’t help feeling a bit melty at the sight of the mare holding the feather duster in her mouth, which was probably why Twilight didn’t quite get to the point where she questioned why she had such a thing at all, and certainly not to the point where she could preemptively act before Pinkie stepped around her and brushed the thing down her cutie mark.
“Pinkie!” Twilight gasped, jumping nearly a foot into the air and blushing furiously at the mare. “What are you doing?”
“Showing you I’m interested too, duh,” Pinkie said with a roll of her eyes. “You’re a very silly filly sometimes, Twilight!.” She paused and spat out the duster into her hoof, looking surprisingly vulnerable. “You… are interested, aren’t you? Will you come to the Cirque du Cheval with me?”
Twilight’s hoof scraped against the ground a bit uneasily as her blush started to fade. A thousand worries galloped through her head, all the ways that it could go very, very wrong and… found herself wanting to try anyway. She did like Pinkie--she was one of the few ponies who genuinely seemed to challenge her.
“Of course, Pinkie,” Twilight said, a bit of her blush returning. “I’ll try not to, um, I promise to not torment you with my, uh, wings.”
“Aw, come on, Twilight!” Pinkie said with a laugh. “You weren’t that bad! You just need some practice is all.”
Twilight just shook her head, feeling vaguely befuddled by the mare again. That’s when she realized she could no longer hear her friends arguing. With a twinge of fear, she slowly turned around, seeing her friends--sans Rainbow Dash, of course--in an eerily similar pose as before, with barely concealed smiles.
For a moment, neither her, nor her friends, nor Pinkie Pie, said a word, yet somehow Twilight got the impression she knew what they wanted.
“Fine.” Twilight said crossly, then leaned over and pressed her lips against Pinkie’s vanilla-scented cheek. It was surprisingly hard to pull away, but she did, giving the crowd a glare. “Happy?”
Pinkie, for her part stumbled mid bounce, and some small part of Twilight was proud she had managed to surprise her for a change.
“Couldn’t be happier, sugarcube,” Applejack said with a smirk. “Didn’t even need to look it up in a book or nothin’!”
Author's Note
Quoted section stolen with permission from Tchernobog's Mood Wings, a story about the importance of reading a book all the way through.
Now, I know what you're thinking: does Rainbow Dash ever get a cupcake?
No. No she doesn't. Pinkie and Twilight throw snowballs at her.
