Within the spacious interior of a deceptively tiny-looking house in the Crystal Empire, a brilliant gamboge-coated and vermilion-maned unicorn stallion went about as he gathered his academic materials. Humming a little tune, royal crystaller Sunburst perused the many scrolls he had in his possession in preparations for his daily magic lessons with Princess Flurry Heart. For his part in saving the Crystal Empire from being buried by a gigantic snowstorm and overseeing the royal crystalling of little Flurry Heart, Sunburst had been entrusted by Princess Cadance and Shining Armor to tutor their alicorn foal in the ways of knowing and wielding magic. Packing his last selected scroll into his saddlebag, Sunburst turned and entered a room which contained his pride and joy…
Among the shelves stood numerous books which covered a vast array of academic subjects both magical and scientific. Standing before his miniature literary paradise, Sunburst smiled with pride and satisfaction as he gazed at his beloved collection of tomes. Throughout his life, Sunburst had taken much joy in reading and studying every literary subject he could get his hooves on. Until recently, these books had been Sunburst’s sole companions during his early days in the Crystal Empire. Now, as the Crystal Empire’s resident expert on magical advice and phenomenon, Sunburst had more opportunities to share his unique gift and knowledge with others.
Shaking off the nostalgia, Sunburst approached and scanned the bookshelves for suitable titles for today’s lessons. He levitated several books off the shelves with his magic, their exteriors covered in his magical aura as they danced around him in the air. Picking one selection, Sunburst brought the book near him. Deciding to take a peek, he smiled as he opened up a page…
His face fell when he looked inside.
“Huh?” Sunburst raised his eyebrows in confusion. Within the selected page are not the words and pictures painstakingly written and drawn by the book’s author.
Instead, a single white blank space covered the entire page.
Puzzled, Sunburst flipped through the book from the first page to the last. To his astonishment, he found the entire book full of blank pages. Frowning, Sunburst dropped the book to the floor and selected another one from the air. He opened up the second book and was greeted with the same result:
Every page within it was blank.
The same thing happened with the third book he picked out from the air…and the fourth…and the fifth…
With a growing pile of blank books around him, Sunburst searched in confusion as book after book levitated from his shelves with only empty pages within them. Picking out another book, he half-expected to find the same blank spaces within it like the others…
He was surprised to find something completely different and unexpected.
“What?” Sunburst exclaimed in bewilderment. Unlike the other books lying on the floor around him, this book did not contain any blank pages…
Instead, each page had a letter ‘G’ printed in large black ink type.
Baffled, Sunburst dropped the book as he proceeded to empty his bookshelves. After going through more books with only blank pages within them, he found another book that also had only a single large letter printed on each page. This time, each page had the letter ‘O’ printed on it.
Mystified by what he found, Sunburst spent the next half-hour levitating books off his shelves and searching through them in the futile hope of finding an intact manuscript.
By the time he finished emptying his shelves, Sunburst found himself half-buried in books which littered the entire floor of his house. Almost all of them had only blank pages within them; seven of them contained only a single character printed in large type on each page. Among the gigantic pile of empty books around him, Sunburst could only stand perplexed as he regarded the strange situation. Six books had a single giant letter printed on each page while a seventh contained only a giant exclamation point on every page. He found that the giant-lettered books contained either the letters ‘G,’ ‘O,’ ‘T’…
Sunburst paused as a sudden realization hit him.
“Wait a minute…”
Thinking fast, Sunburst levitated the seven large-print single-character books before him. With his magic, he rearranged the six letters and exclamation point into a single coherent phrase…
His eyes went wide and his jaw nearly dropped as he read the word spelled out before him:
GOTCHA!
His glasses slid down his nose as he stared in shock.
Stunned, Sunburst dropped the books to the pile around him as he realized that he had been duped. He frowned and narrowed his eyes as he suspected the identity of his mysterious prankster.
There was only one pony he knew who had the audacity to replace all his beloved books with blank ones and leave behind a taunting message for him to find…
Annoyed, Sunburst muttered out the pony’s name:
“Flash Sentry…”
Sunburst fumed as he walked through the halls of the castle, carrying his recovered academic materials in his saddlebag. He had spent the entire day tracking down his missing books that Flash Sentry had swiped and hidden among the many bookstores and libraries in the Crystal Empire. At least the pegasus royal guard had the decency to inform the proprietors that they would be expecting a visit from a very annoyed unicorn wizard searching for his missing yet still-intact books.
Then again, Sunburst was not entirely surprised that he had become the victim of such shenanigans from Flash Sentry. Ever since he entered the service of the Crystal Empire, Sunburst had formed an odd friendship with Flash Sentry. A friendship that could be described by others as between two “vitriolic best buds” who from time to time drove each other up the wall with their antics. Were it not for their mutual bond with Princess Flurry Heart, the two stallions would not have formed the “odd couple” dynamic that has become the basis behind their relationship to this day. Nor would they have formed a unique yet tightknit friendship trio with the little princess.
As Sunburst approached the princess’ room, he heard sounds of playful laughter behind the doors. Opening them, he found Flurry Heart and Flash Sentry playing together with her toys. The little alicorn filly stopped her playtime with her favorite guard and greeted her favorite wizard with an enthusiastic smile and squeal as he entered her room. Sitting beside her, Flash Sentry stood up to greet Sunburst with an innocent-looking smile…one that not-so-convincingly told Sunburst that he was guiltless of his latest practical joke on him.
Resisting the urge to give Flash Sentry the stink eye in front of Flurry Heart, Sunburst put on a happy face as he prepared for his lesson plans with the princess. As Sunburst brought out his books and scrolls for today’s lessons, Flash Sentry gave little Flurry Heart an affectionate wink and tousle of her mane in a fond farewell as he prepared to leave for his daily guard duties.
As Flurry Heart waved goodbye to Flash Sentry, the pegasus guard passed the unicorn wizard on his way out. But not before he gave a sly smirk at Sunburst, earning the blue-maned pegasus a suspicious look from his red-maned unicorn counterpart…
After Flash Sentry left the room, Sunburst shook off his suspicions and turned his attention back towards the enthusiastic alicorn foal. The little princess sat and smiled at her magic mentor as he approached the chalkboard he had set up the night before. Levitating a teaching stick in the air with his magical aura, Sunburst pulled away the cloth covering it…
He stood in wide-eyed shock upon seeing its content.
On it was a comically-drawn chalk caricature of Sunburst wearing a diaper and emanating stink lines.
Flurry Heart giggled and laughed uproariously at the hilarious drawing, much to Sunburst’s embarrassment. Frowning, he used his magic to flip the chalkboard to the other side…
He was greeted with another image which left him stunned. Written across the chalkboard in giant white chalk writing was one simple yet familiar phrase:
GOTCHA!
Sunburst stood flabbergasted as Flurry Heart continued to laugh heartily at the comical display. He scowled and bent his teaching stick with his magic in frustration, causing it to break in half.
He cursed the name of the pony responsible for the mischief:
“Flash Sentry!”
Lunchtime had come, and not a moment too soon for Sunburst. He sat by a table at a café in the Crystal Empire, levitating and reading a book while he awaited his lunch.
After the annoying little chalkboard prank, the rest of Sunburst’s teaching session with Flurry Heart had gone on with little trouble, even though it was occasionally interrupted by the little princess’ laughter over the hilarious chalk drawing of her favorite wizard. Despite the precious time he spent with Flurry Heart, Sunburst was still miffed over falling victim to another one of Flash Sentry’s pranks.
Fortunately for the pegasus guard, the extremely annoyed unicorn wizard did not encounter him as he exited the castle. It was also fortunate that Sunburst had not yet reached his breaking point as he walked through the Crystal Empire for his daily lunch. Otherwise, he would have given the mischievous pegasus an earful and much more for his pranks.
One day, Sunburst thought, he was going to get back at Flash Sentry for his annoying antics. For now, he just wanted to spend the rest of his day in peace in the company of his books.
His thoughts were interrupted as the waiter approached with his order. So absorbed was Sunburst in his book and thoughts that he had momentarily forgot his hunger and appetite. Thanking the waiter, he put away his book and appraised his plate of daffodil-and-daisy sandwich with hungry enthusiasm. He levitated the sandwich off the plate and brought it near his mouth. Opening wide, he took a bite of his lunch and chewed…and stopped.
Puzzlement etched on Sunburst’s face as he tasted his lunch. He gave the sandwich a few more experimental chews. There was something…odd about its taste. More specifically, the ketchup tasted a little off. As he continued to regard the ketchup’s strange taste, he started to sense a slight rise in temperature in his mouth. Gradually, the warm sensation grew hotter…
…and hotter…and hotter…and hotter…
Sunburst froze in wide-eyed realization, his face growing several shades redder with the rising temperature. The spiciness of the hot sauce burned within his mouth, his forehead and horn sweating from the fiery sensation, his eyes brimming with tears of agony, his head whistling and steaming from the torture…
Sunburst couldn’t take it anymore.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” he shrieked, drawing the incredulous attention of the other patrons. Literally spewing fire and smoke from his mouth, Sunburst leapt out of his seat and dashed off in search of water.
To his relief, a water fountain stood nearby. Rushing over to it, Sunburst frantically stood at the fountain’s edge and looked at the pool of water in panic. To everypony’s shock and astonishment, the orange unicorn dunked his head into the water…
PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Steam hissed out of the fountain as Sunburst submerged his head underwater for an extended period of time. After a long moment, he emerged from the fountain and collapsed in relief, his mane wet and his face still red. Everypony looked incredulously at the strange wet unicorn as he took in several large gasps of air.
Finally standing up, a wet and humiliated Sunburst collected whatever dignity he had left and stalked back to the café, his mane dripping water onto the street as he walked. When he returned, the waiter profusely apologized to Sunburst for the unpleasant incident and offered the desert menu for him on the house.
Sunburst wordlessly snatched the menu with his magical aura and opened it up…
Once again, his eyes went wide when he looked inside. A piece of paper was snuck inside the menu without the restaurant’s knowledge.
Written on the paper in red hot sauce scribbling was one simple dreaded phrase:
GOTCHA!
Sunburst dropped the menu and looked up, his eyes twitching and his face tremoring. A reservoir of pent-up frustration swelled within him, gradually building up until he finally reached his breaking point…
Infuriated, Sunburst screamed into the air the name of his tormentor:
“FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH SEEEEEEEEEENTRRRRRRRRRRY!!!!!!!”
CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLACK-CLACK!
The typewriter clicked and clacked as Flash Sentry of the Crystal Empire Royal Guards sat behind his desk typing up his daily reports. Around him, his desk piled up with endless paperwork that he had to complete for the Royal Guards while his plate of half-eaten waffles sat by the side. The monotony of the never-ending desk work had become mind-numbing for the young pegasus stallion.
Yet despite the repetitiveness of his paperwork, Flash Sentry had found ways to break the boredom associated with his daily duties. Ever since the birth and crystalling of Princess Flurry Heart, he had been entrusted by Princess Cadance and Shining Armor to bodyguard their little alicorn foal on numerous occasions. Since then, he had come to enjoy every precious moment he shared with the little princess.
Those moments included annoying her unicorn magic mentor Sunburst.
Word had just reached Flash Sentry of Sunburst falling for his hot sauce prank which he had planned and set up beforehand. He almost wished he could have been present to see the humiliated look on Sunburst’s face.
The orange pegasus could not help but smile mischievously at his trolling of his poor unicorn companion. Ever since Sunburst entered the service of the Crystal Empire, Flash Sentry had found a new hobby in annoying him through various means ranging from clever wisecracks to outright pranks. Such antics served as both a source of entertainment for Flash Sentry and an act of “encouragement” for Sunburst to loosen up.
Nevertheless, a sense of guilt gnawed within Flash Sentry. As much as he enjoyed irritating Sunburst, Flash Sentry did worry about potentially pushing him too far with his shenanigans. For all of his poking at Sunburst, he did admired and respected both his bookish knowledge and good heart. As strange as it was, the pegasus guard had come to view the unicorn wizard as one of the few close friends he had in the Crystal Empire with whom he shared a mutual bond with Princess Flurry Heart.
Not that Flash Sentry would ever admit that out loud to Sunburst.
Someday, Flash Sentry figured, he would find a way to make up to Sunburst for his mischief. He might even be willing to let Sunburst get back at him as payback so they could call it even.
That is not to say that Flash Sentry would make it easy for Sunburst, but still…
He snapped back to attention as he continued his important yet tedious assignment. He chafed at the amount of paperwork stacked on his desk. For now, Flash Sentry thought, the deluge of forms and reports he had to deal with every day would be sufficient punishment enough for his annoying antics on Sunburst. So engrossed was Flash Sentry in his paperwork that he failed to notice Sunburst spying from his doorway…
The orange unicorn watched his pegasus counterpart intently as he labored away behind his desk. In the aftermath of falling victim to the classic hot sauce prank, Sunburst had spent a considerable amount of time coming up with a way to get back at Flash Sentry for repeatedly annoying and humiliating him with his shenanigans. What the unicorn wizard had come up with would be the ultimate payback for every mischief he had to endure from the pegasus guard…
As Flash Sentry continued typing away, Sunburst eyed his desk. Behind it was a mini-fridge which contained his greatest guilty pleasure: an ice-cold bottle of sparkling zap apple cider imported from Ponyville.
An uncharacteristic scheming smirk etched on Sunburst’s face. What Flash Sentry did not know was that his favorite drink contained a little surprise within its bottle…
Earlier, while Flash Sentry was out doing his daily guard duties, Sunburst had snuck inside his office and snatched the bottle from his mini-fridge. He then used a Phiala Prius Agitata spell to shake the bottle’s carbonated contents to their extreme pressure points. In addition, he teleported several scotch mints into the bottle for good measure.
The result was a highly-unstable powder keg of pressurized carbonated soft drink just waiting to be released…
Satisfied with his work, Sunburst cautiously placed the bottle back into the mini-fridge, being careful not to cause the extremely-shaking bottle to prematurely erupt. He quickly left the office and hid nearby just as Flash Sentry had returned from his guard duties and entered his office for his daily paperwork.
For the past half-hour, Sunburst spied at Flash Sentry from his hiding place as he typed up his paperwork. Occasionally, he stopped typing to take a bite or two from his plate of waffles. By now, the plate was almost empty as only a small piece of his lunch remained.
Sunburst waited patiently for his scheme to occur. It was only a matter of time before Flash Sentry would become extremely thirsty from eating all those waffles. When that happens and he opens up his drink, then Sunburst will savor sweet revenge…
Sure enough, Flash Sentry stopped his typing again to finish his waffle. As he did so, he started to wet his lips as he began to feel the overwhelming sensation of thirst. He eyed the mini-fridge with desire as Sunburst secretly watched the scene unfold.
After a moment’s hesitation, the orange pegasus guard stallion finally reached down to open up his mini-fridge and brought out the cider in his hooves and a bottle opener in his mouth. The extreme cold temperature of the mini-fridge had stopped the bottle from shaking, but still holding an insane amount of carbonated pressure just waiting to erupt…
As Sunburst watched gleefully in anticipation, Flash Sentry placed the bottle of sparkling zap apple cider on his desk. He brought the bottle opener to the cap and gave it a push…
CLICK!
Sunburst leapt out of the doorway.
“GOT-,” he started…
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
The explosion cut off and blew Sunburst off his hooves.
The entire castle went up in a foamy eruption as every door, window, and roof of the palace got blown away.
A gigantic fizzing mushroom cloud formed over the Crystal Empire, drenching the entire realm in a fallout mixture of scotch mints and zap apple cider...
“You two are lucky that nopony else was hurt!” Princess Cadance said sternly as she stood within the infirmary. Across from her, Sunburst and Flash Sentry laid on their hospital beds as they winced from the Princess of Love’s reprimand. Nearby, Princess Flurry Heart sat and watched the entire scene unfold between her mother and her two favorite companions. While Flurry Heart was too little to fully understand what was going on, she knew that her favorite wizard and guard had somehow gotten in trouble and that her mother was very unhappy with both of them.
In the aftermath of the unfortunate zap apple cider incident, the entire Crystal Empire had paid dearly for Sunburst and Flash Sentry’s latest antic. Fortunately, many of its residents were left uninjured from the eruption and the castle was surprisingly left intact despite its untidy state. However, the entire kingdom had been drenched in zap apple cider foam, much to the dismay of its soaked inhabitants. In addition, Shining Armor and the Crystal Empire Royal Guards had the unfortunate task of cleaning up the foamy mess around the city.
As for Sunburst and Flash Sentry, their proximity to ground zero of the explosion had left them with severe injuries requiring extensive medical attention. Thus, the two orange stallions laid in their beds wrapped from head to hoof in medical casts while their limbs hung from various lifts and slings, leaving them unable to speak and only able to nod or shake their heads in response.
Unfortunately for them, they could still see and hear…
“For your part behind this mess,” Princess Cadance reprimanded, “As soon as you both recover, the two of you will bear full responsibility for your actions.” She turned to Sunburst. “You are going to pay for all the damages!” She then turned her attention to Flash Sentry. “And you are going to type up all the paperwork!”
Both orange stallions paled beneath their casts. However, the Princess of Love was not done with them yet…
“Now I don’t care who started it,” Princess Cadance continued, “but this prank war between the two of you stops right now!” She gave both ponies a hard look. “Understood?”
Having learned their lessons from their mishap, both stallions painfully and frantically nodded at her orders.
As Sunburst and Flash Sentry continued to be scolded by Her Royal Highness, Princess Flurry Heart sat by in wonder and watched the entire scene play out. Earlier, the little princess had kept her two friends company, signing their casts and making silly faces and noises to cheer them up. Despite their miserable situation, the two orange stallions were grateful that little Flurry Heart had arrived to help them feel better.
That is until her mother had walked in to give them a stern dressing-down.
Soon, it was time for the Princesses of the Crystal Empire to leave to deal with the fallout from Sunburst and Flash Sentry’s actions. The Princess of Love left the room with her daughter in tow, the little foal giving an affectionate wave of goodbye to her two favorite guardians. In spite of their injuries, the unicorn wizard and pegasus guard both waved goodbye as she and her mother left.
After Their Royal Highnesses left, the two stallions laid back on their bed as they miserably ruminate over the consequences of their ill-conceived actions. As he lay in his bed, Sunburst silently stewed over the circumstances that ultimately led to his current situation. He should have known that his poorly thought-out plan of revenge on Flash Sentry would backfire painfully.
Nevertheless, he placed the entire blame on his mischievous pegasus counterpart for starting the mess in the first place.
So occupied he was with his thoughts that Sunburst almost failed to see the package placed on the desk between his and Flash Sentry’s beds. Noticing the parcel, Sunburst weakly levitated the object from the desk and brought it close to his face. He could discern through the wrapping that it contained some sort of book.
What caught his attention was the cutie mark printed on it:
A two-toned blue shield with a yellow lightning bolt emblazoned on it.
Surprised, Sunburst turned to look at his pegasus companion and eyed him suspiciously. Flash Sentry simply smiled and shrugged beneath his casts at his unicorn counterpart, sincerely trying to make light of their present situation and communicate a desire to make up with Sunburst.
A small awkward moment passed between the two odd friends as they silently agreed to bury the hatchet…for now.
Returning a small grateful smile, Sunburst turned back to the packaged book and proceeded to use his magic to unwrap it…
His face fell upon reading its title:
Casting Magic for Dummies.
Sunburst turned and glared at the amused pegasus stallion. Smiling mischievously at his irritated unicorn friend, Flash Sentry pulled a sling and raised his foreleg…
Scrawled across the cast in black ink was Flash Sentry’s parting shot:
GOTCHA!
And that was when an extremely annoyed and frustrated Sunburst threw the book at Flash Sentry’s face.
The End
Author's Note
Phiala prius agitata is an old Latin medical term which loosely translated means "shake well before use."
The story's climax is a parody of this classic scene from The Simpsons.
