The best kind of Pony

by Elijah

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Random, Slice of Life, Applejack
Length: 1539

Fluttershy, Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash have a conversation about unicorns.

Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash have a conversation about unicorns over lunch.

A short one off based on some dumb stuff a friend and I were talking about. rated teen for some cursing that goes on.

Published 2017-03-25 12:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-25 12:50:02 UTC

is a Unicorn

is a Unicorn

"Now I went and planted those seeds in the same place I do every year, so you ain't gonna tell me it is my fault they died! Just admit it, You weather ponies put the clouds in the wrong spot!"

"They weren't in the wrong spot, I put those clouds exactly where they were supposed to go. The fact that you didn't look at the local weather schedule is not my fault!"

Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash had been arguing from the moment they sat down. Pinkie pie and Fluttershy had met them for lunch at a local Cafe, and had just watched them from the other side of the table. Neither of the arguing ponies were willing to admit they were wrong on the matter, and it didn't look like their opinions on the matter were going to change any time soon.

"I did check the weather! It said we would get rain, it didn't say nothing about the downpour you let loose!" Apple jack turned to Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, both of home who had remained quiet through the argument. "What do you guys think? it her fault Ain't it?

"I umm....." Pinkie pie was at a loss for words. She didn't want to take sides and make either of her friends mad at her. "Yes? No. No She isn't! Unless of course she is... I don't know..." Apple jack and Rainbow both turned their attention to the Butter mare sitting next to her. There was an awkward pause while Fluttershy waited, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't have to actually answer. Then feeling came over her. This was the perfect opportunity for her to be assertive! She didn't want to listen to them bicker through their meal, and this would be the perfect opportunity to shut them up.

"I think maybe you guys should just be happy your jobs haven't been taken by unicorns, and stop trying to point hooves when things go wrong!" It felt good to be assertive sometimes. Fluttershy then noticed the almost unanimous confusion her three dining partners were showing her. "O-or you could keep arguing i guess..." she slunk back in her chair.

"Right! The weather chart totally did say how much rain we were going to have, and where-"

"Hold up!" Applejack said, cutting rainbow dash off. "Just what the hell do you mean about unicorns taking our jobs?"

"Ya, wait, that is a good question. What the fuck Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash and Applejack were both glaring at her.

"N-Nothing." Her eyes darted around, looking for anything that would help her escape.

"No no no, You're going to answer us missy!" Applejack was leaning across the table now.

"I just mean there is now one at the table who has a job that a unicorn wouldn't do better or more efficiently ..." she looked back at her friends, neither of whom seemed very happy with her answer if their silent glaring was anything to go by.

"That is total horse shit!" Rainbow Dash said, breaking the quiet. "No unicorn could ever replace THE Rainbow dash! I can run clouds better than anyone! Hooves down."

"Ya, And you think some frilly unicorn could go out bucking apples? I work harder than any Unicorn could dream of!"

"Yes. I do think that." Fluttershy was back to being assertive. She could do this, she wasn't going to be the villain here. "Just hear me out. Pinkie pie and I already have jobs that unicorns do, taking care of animals, and baking. Unicorns throw parties and stuff too, so that covers that. You and rainbow dash have the only jobs that unicorns don't do, but they totally could. And better and faster too."

Apple Jack leaned back in her chair. "Go on."

"Ok, your big thing just now was how hard it is to harvest. You go from tree to tree and it take a lot of strength and endurance to buck tree after tree. But, a unicorn wouldn't have to do that. In fact they could probably harvest multiple trees at once by just using magic to pull the fruit down. There wouldn't even be the risk of bruising them when they land in barrels. Twilight did that for you even, remember back when you over worked yourself harvesting and we all had to help you finish the job?"

"But that isn't fair" Rainbow dash cut in, "Twilight is an alicorn!"

"Not back then she wasn't"

"Well she was such a powerful unicorn that she became an alicorn! You cant use her as the base line for other unicorns!"

"We don't have to." Every one turned to pinkie pie who had just decided to join in the debate. "Even rarity can levitate dozens of things at once while she is working, and remember the flim flam brothers? they were using magic to stack barrels of cider while simultaniously using magic to power the Super Cider Squeezy 6000!"

"Thank you Pinkie, Glad to know you support me on this." fluttershy gave a smile to her Friend in Pink. "Look at Sweetie Belle even, she is just a foal and she can already start to levitate a few things. some of the other foals around town too. Just think about what they could do if they did nothing but hone that skill, how many seeds they could plant, or trees they could harvest, or tools they could repair." Fluttershy Pointed a hoof at applejack,"and they are just frilly little unicorns."

"And that is assuming they would need to farm food at all!" exclaimed Pinkie. "When Trixie and Twilight were dueling, they summoned pies and snow to throw at each other, That is a food source and a potential fresh water source. They might be able to just will food into existence, and cut out the Apple family flavored middle mare all together!"

"But Trixie had the fucking amulet thing! She is out too, just like twilight!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "the other stuff is probably right though..."

"And your job," Fluttershy picked up where she had left off, "we've already seen a unicorn do your job no problem."

"Twilight doesn't count I said."

"Rarity." Said Fluttershy. The rainbow mare looked at her puzzled. "Back when twilight was becoming an alicorn and our cutie marks got all mixed up, Rarity thought she had your job on the weather team."

"Hold up!" Apple Jack piped up "She was bad at it though, like real bad. Probably worse than Rainbow here. The aforementioned pegasus stuck her tongue out at the apple pony.

"Ya, on her first fucking day." Pinkie pie was ready to take this one again "She woke up that morning thinking she was a weather pony, and she had never done it before. And then what did she do? she made patterns in the sky with clouds! Clearly moving the them around wasn't a problem for her, no pony even had to train her to do it. It just came naturally."

"And we know the seasons are no problem, twilight told us during our first winter wrap up with her how the unicorns clean up Canterlot." Fluttershy tagged back in. "And the falling of the leaves? Even if they didn't use their magic to do it, you don't need to be an earth pony or a pegasus to run."

"There is a whole lot more that goes into weather though!" Rainbow dash lifted off her seat almost, "You have to make all your clouds, and plan the weather out in advance. Not anypony can do that!"

"Clearly." Said Apple Jack dryly, shooting a glare at her.

"Et tu, Apple jack?"

"You showed us around cloudsdale before." said Pinkie. "Don't they make most of the weather in a factory? magic can be used to run most all of that."

"And unicorns can definitely make clouds," Fluttershy continued, "Remember when trixie-"

"I SAID TRIXIE DIDN'T COUNT EITHER!" Rainbow was getting more agitated by the minute.

"Before the amulet though,"Fluttershy picked it back up. "The first time she came to Ponyville she made a thundercloud on stage, and then bolted you with it! Face it, weather duty is one of the only things ponies still think only a Pegasus can do, but it would be just as easy for a unicorn, if not easier."

Rainbow dash sat back in her chair, pouting. "This is horse shit. All of it" The four of them were quiet were quiet for few moments, none of them sure what to say.

"Do you think unicorns know how over powered they are?" said pinkie finally, "I'm sure this isn't even the end of it either, like, I bet there are so many things they are better at."

"Of course, I think about it all the time how I wish I had magic to do some things."replied Apple Jack

"I think we already thoroughly covered how much better at farm work they would be though"

"Fuck off Rainbow Dash."

Author's Note

I am not great when it comes to writing, so if you see any mistakes or anything, let me know. I think I got them all, but I can go back and fix stuff if any one sees something.