The Weight of Guilt

Starlight Glimmer slumped into her bed in Twilight’s castle, her face landing with a foomp into her pillow. There she lay for several minutes as the weight of her most recent failure made any attempt at getting up impossible. Sure she had apologized, and yes, she had made it sound incredibly convincing, but even if her Twilight and her friends believed it, she didn't.

What had she been even thinking? Mind control was a capital offence for Celestia's sake! Even with Twilight’s pardons and her ex friends not laying charges the weight of her sins was immeasurable. She snorted and rolled onto her back. As if they weren't already immeasurable enough as is. How many ponies has she enslaved over the years? The village, now this… She closed her eyes and held her breath, silently wishing she could just hold it until she just passed on. Away from her failures, away from her guilt, and away from the knowledge that it was only a matter of time before she hurt another pony.

Eventually the part of her brain that wanted to live kicked in and forced a ragged breath into her. She lay there panting until her breathing evened out, silent tears cascading down her face. All that pain, all that suffering, all at her very own hooves. She wished she had never been born. She would have never caused all this hardship and never been made to bear the guilt of her past deeds. She had almost destroyed equestria for crying out loud! How many thousands of lives had she almost ruined out of her own selfish hatred?

She picked up the pillow in her magic and placed it over her face, muffling a scream. On and on she screamed until she had nothing left in her soul but tired anguish. Removing the now thoroughly soaked pillow she tossed it across the room, uncaring as to where it landed or what it hit.

If only she could have a new life, start again, reset the clock. She shook her head before the idea could even form. Time travel was possible but she couldn't put herself back into her younger self’s body. However, even if she did, she would still carry the guilt of her deeds even if she hadn't technically done it in that timeline.

She would need a way to start entirely over, from the very beginning, without memories, or dying or time travel. She blew a raspberry at the ceiling, mocking herself for even thinking something so preposterous. Magic was incredibly powerful but to give life was the sole realm of the goddess. Or crazy spirits of chaos. But even then, she hadn't exactly tested the cognizance of Discord’s seemingly sentient creations. It’s not like she would ever put her fate in the hands of that madman anyway.

She vigorously shook her head; she had been distracting herself with inane details as usual. She had more in common with Twilight then she cared to admit. She laughed despite the tears still rolling down her face.

Maybe if her upbringing had been different and she could somehow go back and change a part of it. Like if she went back and changed who her parents were than maybe things would be better, “Yeah, right,” she said to nopony. There were too many variables. Who would end up being her mom? Or her dad? Would the pony born even be her then? If she made herself never exist in the first place, then maybe that would be an okay result, but not a perfect one. She was perfectly capable of ending herself right now, but that's not what she wanted. What she wanted was a reset switch not an off switch; magic had a million ways to do the second one.

Who would she make her mom anyway? Her mind went back through the list mares she knew would be great parents, most of which were her those six ponies she could no longer call friends. Applejack would be perfect, kind, protecting and with a large family… but she wasn't sure if she was cut out for farm work, even if the pony born wouldn't technically be her. Pinkie and Dash were out instantly, they could adapt to be great mothers but Starlight knew they had no desire to be parents. Fluttershy and Rarity would make decent parents but the addition with a child might cause problems for Rarity’s career and growing up around all those animals seemed unpleasant if Starlight was being honest with herself.

She had a lot in common with Twilight and she was the most selfless, most brilliant, beautiful and empathetic pony Starlight knew. What if she was her… That was ridiculous. Twilight would have been a foal when Starlight was, and even ignoring the literal impossibility of conception it would be the height of cruelty. But if she was already a full grown mare… That was equally as stupid. What had brought her onto such a silly train of thought in the first place?

That being said, what if she did it? If she did that, then it would just be one last pony hurt. What was that compared to everything she had done? She scoffed. Just one more innocent would be a drop in the bucket compared to everything. She could live knowing of one sin, but all the rest… She didn't know if she could make it through the week with the fresh knowledge of her most recent set of grievous mistakes weighing on her shoulders.

So what if it was possible then? She mused, idly thinking of what spells would be necessary to make such a thing possible. Time magic wouldn't help as aging and de aging a pony was nearly impossible and she would have to maintain the spell until she was fetus which was unachievable by definition. Or she could simply transform a womb into being able to do that same thing. But then, she would have to make the pony’s body able to adapt and do that, which would take weeks of preparation if not months, and she would have to… She put a hoof to her head.

Stop it Starlight. We cannot honestly be considering transforming Twilight and stuffing ourself inside her womb so that way we can start over again. But think about the possibility was all Starlight could do. A heat slowly rose from between her hind legs, complicating her thoughts further. Maybe… Maybe if she relieved herself these thoughts would go away. Yes, that sounded good. She would entertain those silly, silly thoughts for a bit until the heat left; hopefully, the thoughts would leave with it.

Yes, it all sounded perfectly logical so of course she did just that. She tossed aside the sheets and although she had toys for just such an occasion the sheer ferocity at which the thoughts assaulted her mind demanded she relieve herself as soon as possible. She couldn't wait the few moments it would take to retrieve them. Instead her hooves rubbed across her well lubricated folds at a mad pace.

Roughly she rubbed herself, not even thinking of using her magic with how hot she burned. Thoughts of Twilight’s enormous belly with her stuffed inside it, was all she could think of. Twilight’s enormous milky breasts fit to the burst as her body became ready for birthing. She rubbed harder, faster, not caring about how rough her ministrations had become, the need was too strong.

The way Twilight’s body would slowly change, adapting and getting ready to accept a full grown mare inside her womb. She rubbed harder, the edge of her hoof slipping inside her tender folds. Mare cum flowed from her cunt like a river, soaking her sheets utterly in the several minutes she had been frantically assaulting her wet cunt. The sheer amount of wetness would have startled her but it didn't matter, the only thoughts within her mind were of Twilight.

She imagined the changes that would happen gradually; she would notice them, and would slowly stretch and push Twilight’s body to the limit until she gaped constantly, her massive cunt ready to take Starlight’s hoof first. The sound of her fierce masturbation was loud in the silent castle but she didn't care. It hardly mattered compared to what she had done and what she thought of doing. Compared to all that, what was a little midnight masturbation?

Safe within her reasoning she began moaning loudly, not bothering to hold back any longer. Her hoof dug deeper into her folds, pushing against the tightness until she felt the tip of it slip inside. With a grunt, she summoned up her magic in order to play with her clit while she worked her hoof into her cunt, desperate to feel as full as she was imagining Twilight would be.

For after Twilight was gaping and ready Starlight would push her body inside; slowly at first, since she would have to train Twilight’s body in order to take bigger and bigger objects. Her hoof would be first; then both of them, and then her muzzle would be next as it would be the hardest part. Once she was up to her neck in Twilight’s womb she would easily be able to pull the rest of herself inside, provided Twilight’s body could stretch to the point that she could harbor an entire adult pony inside of her womb.

With a wet shlick she felt her hoof slip inside, the thought of being so utterly wrapped within Twilight’s body finally giving her enough lube to fit the large appendage within the tight confines of her aching cunt. Once she felt her entire hoof slip inside her she let out a moan, “Twilight,” she muttered, unable to hold back the urge to whisper her name.

Her other hoof pressed against her lips and for a second she lay there, looking around the room and straining her ears against the darkness. She lay there, too embarrassed to continue, listening to the deathly silent castle for several long seconds before she determined that no one was there. Once satisfied nopony had heard her, she began to push her hoof in and out of herself while her horn relit and began to ruthlessly massage her clit. Saying Twilight’s name aloud in such a lewd manner had nearly made her cum right then and there, and only the embarrassment that followed had stopped her from reaching her orgasm. After a few more deep pushes of her hoof she reached as deep as the awkward position would allow it to go.

However, despite the disappointment, she felt pleasure slowly begin to rise within her once more. She closed her eyes; she had practiced this application of magic so frequently in her youth she could massage her clit without looking. She imagined her body slowly slipping within Twilight’s gaping cunt, and when she did, she felt a wave of pleasure ripple down her spine from the thought alone. Conscious of not waking up anypony she whispered to the empty room, “Twilight.”

“Take it all you beautiful mare.” She leaned forward slightly allowing her thick hoof to stretch more and more of her now gaping cunt. Her magic worked double time as a familiar pressure slowly built in her abused sex.

“Twilight.” The mere act of whispering her mentor’s name was enough to make her shudder. With her orgasm quickly approaching she began to mutter the same word over and over. “Twilight.” Her hoof worked as fast as her muscles allowed, filling the room with the wet sounds of her fierce masturbation, “Let me fill your womb with my unworthy body.”

That was too much for the unicorn and the moment she uttered the last word she felt her orgasm peak. Her magic fizzled as her concentration waned, and she had to redouble her hoof work in order to compensate, literally slamming it into her cunt. Her orgasm rolled over in a great wave, turning her body into a shuddering wreck of pleasure. She twitched and groaned randomly, lost in the moment, her thrusts slowing more and more until her orgasm finally died.

Breathing hard, her hoof still deep in her abused cunt, Starlight moaned one final time before pulling her hoof free from her now gaping pussy. With a wet pop it slid free followed by a small river of marecum that quickly soaked the already wet sheets beneath her. In the silence, broken only by her heavy breathing, she thought she heard something else. Starlight sat up quickly, straining her hearing into the night. It had sounded like hoofbeats but they were really close. She shook her head. She probably bumped the endboard with her hoof she reasoned. She could hardly feel her legs after all, so that was a possibility.

She laughed at how silly she was being, Twilight had gone to bed early tonight and Spike was out even earlier, having spent the day reorganizing the library for the fourth time this week. Starlight forced herself to relax, her muscles following her commands reluctantly. The bathroom wasn't even near her door; there was no way anypony was down here. Sighing contently she dismissed the remaining paranoia and willed herself to relax.

Before she could so much as change the sheets, the sweet embrace of sleep found her. Within moments she was ushered off to dreamland, one soaked hoof laying across her chest while the others were splayed out in all directions. Her blanket tossed aside and pillow forgotten she lay sideways on the bed, apparently comfortable enough to begin snoring within moments.

And just like that the castle was deathly silent once more, save for the clip clop of somepony returning to bed.

Author's Note

This was originally a teaser post i made awhile ago but i brushed up on it and added a little since than.