Displaced and Disorderly

by Miki

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Discord, Crossover, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 8911

Monsters and creatures from other worlds are invading Equestria. The barrier is crumbling and Equestrian magic is ineffective against these outsider threats. Time to call in the experts.

One comes from a world where monolithic mega corporations rule over everything and the technology is beyond anything that could ever be imagined by either Equestrian or modern man and yet she largely rejects it; the second comes from a world that exists after the fall of the humanity and the rise of the infected and she relishes in the wholesale slaughter of the hordes. The third is a Miqo'te from Eorzea who just loves punching things.

And the monsters, creatures, and hostile peoples that plague their worlds have now somehow broken through the barrier between them with Equestria as ground zero. For better or for worse, the onus is now on them to unravel the mystery behind these strange occurrences and put an end to them; and hopefully return to their respective homes. The zed must be slain, or Dystopia will Rise. The Drift beasts must be banished back to the hellish dimension from whence they came, or Equestria will face Oblivion. And the monsters of Eorzea must be punched or Equestria will truly face its Final Fantasy.

If they don't wind up killing each other first.

Or they don't push me to kill them with their nonsense.

Crossover of Dystopia Rising LARP and Oblivion LARP, and Final Fantasy XIV, featuring characters all portrayed by the author at or in these games. This story has been revised.

Published 2017-03-26 16:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-28 22:28:46 UTC

1 - Assemble The Team - What Fresh Hell Is This?

The Barrier. A realm of darkness that serves as a buffer between worlds. There is nothing here. Neither the winds of the plains nor the spray of the sea. They very air that surrounds anything that crosses it is nothing more than a miasmic illusion; a pale imitation of what the mind believes should be there, but truly isn't. To stay there for any length of time is to invite insanity into one's mind. Very few have crossed this barrier before, at least in this branch of the multiverse. Sure, there have been others in other branches, but each crossing breaks the foundation of The Barrier as a whole in all of them just a bit more. The footsteps of each and every wayward traveler drifting their way through etches footsteps that cut just a bit deeper each and every time. It was never meant to take this kind of abuse.

Each world has its own name for it. The Rift. The Drift. The Void. It goes by many names and is perceived in many ways by different peoples who find themselves unfortunate enough to be within it, but here it is simply known as 'The Barrier.' For the denizens of Equestria, it was meant to be a line of defense. To keep the outsiders where they should always be, away from them. To keep their realm free and clear of any threats that their magic would not be able to combat.

And yet there will always be travelers. There will always be those who completely ignore and scoff at these divisions. And still there are some who are able to exist in multiple dimensions at once, unfettered by the boundaries between worlds and able to truly go where they please. To these select few, by virtue of their birth and weak ties to other realms, they exist in multiple places at once; able to appear wherever they are needed in whatever form is required of them with the stroke of a pen and the wave of a hand. Or the snap of a talon I suppose. Yes, there are some people who have ties to others that they will almost never perceive or feel, but once those ties are felt they can never be ignored. They may have queer dreams about beings strange to them, but they're almost always written off as merely that, dreams. They may also write stories featuring fantastical people with abilities far outside of their own or act out their adventures. Foals often call this "playing pretend," but it's the foals who feel these ties the strongest of all. Imagination is nothing more than a window into these other worlds. The characters who's adventures they act out with paper swords and pillows as "spells" are just as real as you or me and sometimes those ties to other worlds become so strong that it allows the outsiders to pass through the barrier; and not all of these travelers are benevolent.

There are those who seek to destroy. More who seek to build new lives from the rubble of their old worlds. Sometimes, even monsters muddle their way through and create a mess of things. And not even the fun kind of mess; theirs is naught but destruction and turmoil. Their stories and the origins of their creation are as varied and personal as each individual's upbringing, and I've seen the birth of thousands. Drifting between realms and worlds is something that I do all the time, but my heart will always belong to Equestria. And that is why I need to safeguard it. Outsiders are breaking through again, but this time it is very different. After tracing the origins of these new creatures, I was able to find just the trio I needed to combat them; ones whose willpower and determination was enough to allow them to pass through unhindered and whose inherent connections to each other will give them the strength to utilize their own unique abilities; that is provided they don't kill each other first. Equestrian magic will do no good against creatures like these as they are not of this world. My own powers, while effective against these creatures, are not as useful as the powers of those who face these creatures every day in their home worlds. The Royal Guard is ill equipped to handle the sheer size of the coming storm.

Sweet chaos I hope they don't kill each other.

An endless sea of sand and dirt punctuated by the occasional cactus and tuft of grass dotted the otherwise barren landscape of the lands outside of Appleoosa. Within the base of a great canyon the amalgamated form of Discord paced around humming to himself as he looked around various rock formations and caves searching for something.

“Drat, not here either,” he said with a frustrated snap of his right talon as he poked his head around a rock.

“Where in the world did those two land?” he mused to himself as he continued on his way.

“They should be around this area at least. I had to have at least been that precise with my spell.”

Off in the distance, a pile of olive green fur and feathers groaned and shifted in the dirt at the edge of the canyon’s river. Discord snapped his equine head around at the sound and grinned with glee as he disappeared in a flash of light. He reappeared next to the pegasus mare in another flash and sat down on a nearby rock as he waited for the mare to fully awaken. When she lifted her head, he finally spoke.

“Sergeant Patterson I presume?” he asked.

“Wha’? Whossat?” the mare asked as she weakly looked around in an attempt to locate the source of the voice.

“Over here,” he said. The mare turned her head to see Discord waving his right paw at her. Her eyes went wide at the mish-mash of animal parts and she immediately tried to spring into action. She rolled and flopped, but every attempt she made to right herself and attack the creature was met with utter failure.

“What tha’ hell?” she said in a heavy Bostonian accent as she flopped around some more. She looked around at herself and her eyes went even wider.

“Tha’ fuck?!” she exclaimed as she thrashed around even more in a flurry of fur and feathers, “tha’ fuck is goin’ on here?!”

“Careful that you don’t hurt yourself there Sarge. You may find things to be a bit different than what you're used to,” Discord said with a chuckle.

“Tha’ fuck did ya’ do ta’ me ya’ fuckin’ freak?!” she snarled, still thrashing around. She managed to make her way to her hooves, but immediately stumbled and fell face first into the river, eliciting another hearty chuckle from Discord.

“To be perfectly honest, the transformation wasn't something that I planned on, but it makes a bit of sense considering what I’ve seen.”

"Fuckin'... answer the question! Tha' fuck did ya' do to me?!"

His face went sour and he snapped his talon. The mare disappeared and reappeared in front of him on her hooves where she gently landed and was able to maintain a shaky balance as she grew accustomed to the new appendages. She looked up at Discord, whose grin had returned as he delighted in her confusion and her struggle.

“Ya’ think this is funny ya’ freak?” she growled as she took a shaky step toward him, “I’ll show ya funny.”

She raised a hoof to reach for something underneath her left foreleg then immediately fell face first into the dirt again.

“Fuckin’ Kings,” she cursed as she regained her composure and realized that what she was reaching for was not there, “ok, where tha’ hell is my sabre? Where’s my gun? I’mma wreck your shit.”

“Oh would you stop that,” Discord said as he snapped his talon and a new set of objects appeared floating next to him. First was what looked to be a black harness with space for two pistols that, in a human, would have been tucked under the arms. In the left holster was sheathed a single-edged sabre adorned with various blue and red decorations. In the right was a revolver that certainly looked like it had seen better days etched with the words “I will choose freewill” on the barrel. Attached to the left holster was also a red keychain with the words “RUSH” in bold black lettering emblazoned upon it. Next to that floated a shoulder plate that looked to be made of various bits of scrap metal, scrap leather, and license plates. It was accompanied by a pair of scrap metal bracers and upper arm plates painted with the words "duty to others" as well as numerous other bits of armor. Finally, a beat up leather bag filled with bits of scrap metal, ammunition, and various other rations and supplies floated next to it. The mare’s eyes widened even more as she thrashed her way to her hooves again.

“Tha’ hell ya’ doin’ with those?” she growled.

“Oh, I knew you would be getting up swinging, or at the very least trying to swing, so I took the liberty of relieving you of these for the time being,” he responded, “You will get them back soon, don’t worry. As a matter of fact, you will need them, just like I need you.”

The statement gave the mare pause and she tilted her head in confusion. Discord, satisfied that he got her attention, snapped his talon again. The weapons and armor disappeared and were replaced by a bound file. On the cover were the words “Top Secret” were rubber stamped in red, followed by the word “shhhhhhh” written in what looked like red crayon underneath it. He pulled a pair thick reading glasses out of thin air, put them on, then licked his thumb before he flipped it open. He thumbed through the papers contained within while muttering to himself.

“Let’s see here... slimes, goblins, TDMs, Light of Hedon, Kings Co… ah-hah! Here we are!” he snapped his talon again and various papers flew out of the file and floated in front of him along with a picture which he flipped around with a twirl of his talon to show her.

“Carolyn Patterson. Sergeant and leader of the Reaper Squad of the Delphian Guard. Gunslinger, Priestess of the Kings Court, Jones, and generally hot-headed Baywalker.”

“You been spyin’ on me too?” Carolyn said as she spat off to the side.

“Well ain’t that some shit. Figured I would’a noticed somethin’ like you stalkin’ me about the wastes.”

“Oh don’t flatter yourself,” Discord chuckled as he snapped his talon again and took the form of a young man in tattered tactical gear, “though gathering information on you was admittedly easy enough for someone like me. The reason you’re here is because you have faced down some of the most terrifying creatures in your world. I watched you take down a Hate single-handedly once and you never even realized that that was what it was.”

He snapped his talon again and resumed his normal mish-mashed form.

“And you’re not the only one I brought here. There are two others we need to find before I can fill you in on the rest of the details. You will need them, and they will need you.”

He snapped his talon one last time and Carolyn’s weapons reappeared floating next to him.

“Now, if I’ve convinced you that I am not a threat, I will gladly give these back,” he said. Then he stroked his goatee as he looked her over.

Carolyn just stared in confusion at Discord. She looked at herself and her wings and struggled to open them to no avail. She raised a hoof and shook it as she mouthed "what tha' fuck?"

“Okay,” she thought, “so if this freak says he’ll change me back, I guess I’m in no position to really argue. That and whateva' 'e is, there’s no way I’d be able to take him on alone. He’s got some really freaky psion shit goin’ on here. Toybox maybe? It's a weird one if that's what it is."

She looked over at Discord who watched with Carolyn's exercises with vague interest. She lifted each of her hooves up off of the ground in turn as if testing them out, then crouched down before standing straight again. "Guess I got no choice but ta' play along with his little game if I wanna get outta his little fantasy. And if he's gonna take me ta' some potential allies like he said, that’ll make the fight against him even easier.”

Then she sighed.

“If I help ya’ and these otha’ two hooples, you’ll change me back an’ send me back to where I came from, righ’?” she asked.

“Oh absolutely!” he said gleefully, “though looking at you, I feel like something is missing.”

Carolyn looked herself over. Her flank, her wings, and then she looked at her forelegs and her left shoulder.

“Hey, yeah, what tha’ fuck? My life spiral is gone!” she exclaimed.

“Oh of course, the spiral tattoo,” Discord said as he snapped his fingers. On Carolyn’s left shoulder, a black dot appeared that began to spiral around and out, as if an invisible brush was painting the pattern directly onto her fur. She exclaimed with a quick “what tha’ fuck?” as it filled its canvas and then snaked it's way down her foreleg where it came to a stop mid-way down.

“There, that’s better. It was covered up in that photo, so I didn't even think about it. Though you're still a blank flank, that should suffice for now.”

Carolyn cocked her head to the side again, still a bit dumbfounded at the display.

“Blank flank?”

“Oh don't worry about it for now,” he said as he snapped his finger again. In a flash of white, a blade appeared on her right wing that had the same blue and red ornamentation that her sabre had while on her left it was balanced out by the appearance of a set of armor made of the same scrap metal as her shoulder plate. Her beat up leather bag was transformed into a saddle bag that stayed securely snug across her back.

“There, that should do it,” Discord said as he admired his handiwork, “equipment meant for human form wouldn't do in your current state, so I took the liberty of making some slight modifications. I trust that you won't mind. With this, you should even be able to fight while flying. We'll figure out what to do with the gun later, but Equestria doesn't really have much in the way of firearms. ”

Carolyn was busy admiring her new equipment and the reappearance of her beloved tattoo, but at the sound of the word ‘flying’ she went white as a sheet.

“F-f-flying?” she stammered.

“Well of course you silly! What do you think those wings are for?”

“Uhhhh, yeah… flying… right… silly me,” she meekly said as she punctuated her statement with a nervous chuckle.

“Now then. Since that's all taken care of, let's go find the rest of your team!”

Discord turned about face and pointed toward the horizon.

“Forward, march!” he barked as he started walking. Carolyn followed with shaky steps while examining her wings.

“Right,” she said under her breath with an exasperated sigh, “What tha’ fuck even?”

Author's Note

So down here in the Authors notes, I plan on doing something that I thought was kinda cool. Since these characters are based on actual characters that I play and portray (with certain creative liberties taken for one of them that I don't physically portray), I thought I'd post the actual rules that are tied to some of the abilities and equipment that they use from their various games to give you guys an idea of the actual crunch behind them. To that end, let's start with Carolyn's equipment.

Items: Dystopia Rising
Deerjay Jambalaya - Crafts Level 3 - 5 Damage Per Swing - "Hack and slash" - Ornamented with a stylized red "R" and and a blue stylization of the astronomical symbol for the planet Saturn.
B.R.U.I.N. Scrap Armor - Crafts Level 1 - 15 Armor Points
Scrap Shooter - 3 Damage Per Shot [Broken Beyond Repair]
Old World Religious Artifact

2 - Assemble The Team - Punch Drunk

“Hiiiisssss” came a sound from within a small cutout in the side of the canyon.

“No! Noooo bad kitty!” Discord scolded as he snapped and summoned a spray bottle. He sprayed the bottle into the hole and the spray of water elicited another loud hiss and a swipe of a gray spotted paw that swiftly retreated back inside.

“Nuh-uh! Ain’t comin’ out!” came a feminine and infuriatingly whiny voice, “You're a meanie ya weird thing! You was hurtin’ the green horsey!”

Carolyn slapped Discord on the leg with her forehoof.

“That ain’t helpin’ there,” she whispered to him before she knelt down.

“C’mon, he ain't gonna spray ya again,” she said as she looked around inside, “and he was only helpin’ m --”

“-- KITTY PUNCH!!!” interrupted the voice as a lightning fast paw jabbed out and cold-cocked her square in the muzzle. Carolyn reeled back and attempted to stand upright, but she failed. She stumbled for a bit then fell over, completely knocked out cold.

-------- Earlier --------

“So you’re sayin’ that there’s me, some cat lady thing, and a sorcelator that ya’ brought inta’ this world,” Carolyn said as she trotted alongside Discord.

“That’s right,” he replied before he mumbled under his breath, “whatever a ‘sorcelator’ is.”

“Eh? Ya’ know, like you AHH --” she said as she pointed with her hoof and stumbled face first in a clatter of metal and feathers, “-- fuck. Ya’ know, like you! Able to do weird shit with ya’ mind.”

She stood back up and continued to trot along side him and keep pace.

“First off, this --” Discord said as he stopped short. He snapped his talon and a nearby rock turned into a frog that let out a small croak and started hopping away.

“-- is called ‘magic.’ Second, it is far more powerful than the ‘weird mind stuff’ from your world. Third, you would do well to respect that power lest it bite you in the flank later.”

Carolyn seemed to be taken aback by Discord’s sudden outburst and the two stood in silence for a short while before they started walking again.

“Hey,” Carolyn chuckled, “I ain’t judgin’. I just wasn’t born with that stuff so I wouldn’t know, aye? I got nothin’ against Psions so long as they ain’t fuckin’ with my head.”

“Ugh,” Discord groaned, “just keep your eyes open. One of them should be bright blue and the other should be… well, cat-like.”

While the two continued to walk along the riverbank, an unnoticed figure slinked out of sight. Unseen in the shadows, a gray, white, and black bobcat ducked from rock to rock. It crouched in its hiding spot and eyed the frog from earlier that was happily hopping along next to the river.

“Punchypunchypunch,” it whispered as it drew closer to the frog. The frog stopped and croaked as it found a good place to bask in the sun next to the riverbank. The bobcat slunk again from rock to rock, still staying out of sight but still whispering to itself.

“Punchypunchypunchpunchpunch.”

“Wait a sec,” Carolyn said as her ear involuntarily swiveled around. She held out a hoof and stopped walking.

“Did y’all hear somethin’?”

“Hmm?” Discord hummed, “no, can’t say that I did.”

The bobcat, meanwhile, stopped moving and whispering. It eyed Carolyn as she looked and crept around, listening for any other sounds. All that was heard was the babbling water of the river and the soft croaks of the newly created frog. Carolyn feebly attempted to open her right wing to bring her blade to bear.

“Damn,” she cursed, “ya’d think that something attached to my fuckin’ body would be easier ta’ use.”

She looked around one final time then sighed.

“Ah well, guess it was nothin’. Not the first time I’ve jumped at spoops.”

“Think of it like doing push-ups and sit-ups at the same time as a human,” Discord said as he pumped his upper appendages forward and back, “it should be about the equivalent muscle group in your new body.”

Carolyn listened and then her forelegs bent down as she tried to imagine it. Slowly, her wings started to open, but the strain was clear and evident on her face.

“Here,” Discord said as he walked over and motioned to her wings, “may I?”

Carolyn scoffed and grinned as she relaxed her back muscles, “Usually they take me to dinnah’ first.”

“Oh don’t make this weird,” he pouted as he took Carolyn’s right wing and gently extended it to its full length, the metal blade gently clicking and the articulated metal joints softly creaking the whole time. Carolyn’s face, however, was contorted in pain.

“What tha’ fuckin’ -- fuck!” she cursed. “Feels like tha’ muscles have never been used before.”

“That would be because they quite literally haven’t,” he replied.

Despite the pain, Discord continued to work out the stiff wing muscles. He extended the wing out, then gently folded it again. He extended the wing out, then gently moved the wing up and down, then made it do small circles before closing it again. Eventually, through numerous repetitions, the muscles were worked out well enough that Carolyn was able to open and close the appendage on her own.

“See? It’s not all that hard. A foal could do it,” he said as he let go.

Carolyn held back a tear of pain as she tried to put on a tough act.

“Y-y-yeah. F-f-f-foal… right…” she said as she motioned with her head toward the left wing, “Could ya get tha’ otha’ one?”

Discord nodded as he walked around her and proceeded to do the same to the opposite wing.

The bobcat, on the other hand, had lost interest in the frog the minute Carolyn yelped in pain the first time. It bade its time, waiting for the opportune moment to attack. Its hind-quarters wiggled and its tail flicked and darted about as it watched him seemingly hurt someone. As soon as Discord had turned his back to massage Carolyn’s other wing, it bolted out. Its brow furrowed into a scowl and it locked its gaze squarely on Discord.

“Punchypunchypunchy,” it whispered as it began to charge.

“Punchypunchypunchy!” it whispered louder as it drew closer, drowned out by Carolyns moans of pain from having her left wing worked out.

“PunchypunchypunchyPUNCHY IMNAPUNCHYA!” it yelled as it pounced, claws exposed, towards Discord’s backside.

------- Now -------

“Alright,” said a clearly annoyed Discord as he pulled Carolyn aside and away from the hole, “that is quite enough little missy.”

Discord then gently smacked Carolyn across the face and shook her, but Carolyn didn't even stir.

“I never thought she would be this difficult to deal with and she’s not even the deadliest one,” he said as he lightly slapped her again. Still Carolyn did not stir. He rubbed his paw down the length of his face and then snapped the fingers together, summoning a dog catcher’s leash. He kept his talon at the ready, took the leash in his paw and stuck it in the hole, triggering a torrent of screams and hisses as the leash thrashed about.

“Meaniemeaniemeaniemeaniemeaniemeaniemeaniemeanie,” the bobcat repeated over and over again as it tore its claws into the leash and eventually darted out of the hole. As soon as Discord saw a mere whisker of the animal, he snapped his talon and an open cage appeared directly in its path. It collided with the bars on the opposite end and the bars to the entrance slammed shut.

The bobcat was having none of it. It pounced, hissed, screamed, and it only grew louder.

“MEANIEMEANIEMEANIEMEANIEMEANIEMEANIEMEANIEMEANIEMEANIEMEANIE --”

“-- OH WOULD YOU PLEASE PIPE DOWN!” Discord yelled as he snapped his talon again and a muzzle appeared around the animal’s mouth. The bobcat continued to thrash about and paw at the muzzle, but to no avail. Discord, meanwhile, nursed a fresh set of nasty claw-marks on his backside and waited for the animal to tire out.

“I’m getting too old for this nonsense,” he groaned as Carolyn slowly started to stir.

“Di’ shomeone get the plates o’ tha’ ride that hit me?” she said as she lifted her head. Then she promptly plopped back down and looked at Discord, who lazily pointed to the still thrashing bobcat.

“You’re kiddin’ me,” she groaned as she worked her way back onto her hooves, “that had to have been some hit.”

“She doesn’t call herself ‘Punchy Cat’ for nothing Carolyn,” Discord deadpanned. “Meet Taki Rhiki, the cat lady thing I told you about.”

For all intents and purposes, Taki resembled that of a rather large bobcat probably a hand or two shorter than Carolyn. But considering that Carolyn, and really any Baywalker, wasn’t all that tall to begin with, that wasn’t saying much.

“Ah… what’s with the muzzle?” she asked.

Taki had since given up on thrashing and instead opted for reaching her forepaw out at Discord and swiping furiously just inches away from his leg. Discord, on the other hand simply looked Carolyn dead in the eye, snapped his talon, and the muzzle disappeared.

“MEANIEMEANIEMEANIE --” and then snapped it again to make it reappear and bless their ears with sweet silence.

“Gotcha,” Carolyn mused as she trotted up to Taki, “let me handle this. She don’t seem to like you a whole lot.”

Discord groaned and rested his head on his paw as he sat down. He winced in pain, then promptly stood up again and leveled a glare at Taki who continued to swipe in his direction, but Carolyn only chuckled and turned to Taki as well.

“Hey there!” Carolyn said, “Listen, I know you’re probably confused and scared, but can ya’ calm down a bit? We’re friends and we need ya’ help.”

She motioned to Discord with her wing and continued as Taki looked over at Carolyn and brought her paw back in the cage. She sat down and listened, but her tail was still fluffed out and twitching back and forth wildly with her ears still splayed out on her head.

“Look, I know snake dude over there can be a bit of a dick --” Discord interrupted with a snort and a huff “-- but we need ya. Still don’t know the full details as to why, but I’m not from this world either, so let’s work together and do what we need ta’ do ta’ get out of this shit-show, aye?”

Taki looked over at Discord, then back to Carolyn. Then back to Discord. Then back to Carolyn. Then she looked at the ground and huffed. She motioned her paw to the muzzle and placed it back down with a hearty slap.

“Yo, snakey-boy, can we get this thing offa her?” Carolyn asked.

“My name is Discord, Patterson,” he said as he snapped his talon and the muzzle disappeared.

Taki breathed a sigh of relief as the muzzle disappeared, then she brought a paw up and cricked her jaw from side to side to work out the muscles and groom her fur.

“I hear ya, I wanna get outta here too,” she replied. “Last thing I remember is I was napping in a tree outside the pub when poof! I woke up in the middle of this canyon in this body.”

She shook her head and scratched behind her ear, then licked at her paw before she continued.

“I mean, I was just questing around Eorzea and then suddenly poof! I was here! What tha’ hell gives?!”
Carolyn looked over at Discord with a quizzical expression.

“That’s somethin’ I’d love to know myself, but right now we got one more person to find before we can do anythin’, aye?”

“Aye, aye -- I guess,” Taki said with a lazy salute.

Carolyn nodded at Discord and with a snap of his talon the cage disappeared.

“Now then, shall we move on?”

Carolyn bowed her head in a mock curtsey.

“Lead the way oh disorderly one,” she said.

Discord then turned around wordlessly, then he groaned as he turned back around and held up a talon to stop them.

“Oh, and by the way you two, your third companion may be less than reasonable at first,” he said.

“Hows’ that?” Taki asked.

“Let’s just say,” Discord sighed, “that she’s a bit of a hothead when it comes to things changing around her.”

“You!” came a voice from out of nowhere. In a flash, a new figure appeared and everyone near Discord was scorched with a searing hot blue flame. All of them shielded themselves from the blast as best as they could, but the smell of burning fur and feathers permeated the air as all were singed. When the smoke settled, there stood a blue unicorn mare who’s fur faded to a solid white around the fetlocks. A cracked pattern permeated through the fur across her entire body into exposed skin that almost looked like stone with the cracks around her flank coalescing and forming the chinese symbol of fire. White stony flares seemingly erupted from the skin underneath her eyes, and her eyes and mane were a solid white. Her mane rose and fell from the intense heat that radiated from her body and on top of all of that, all could tell that she was pissed.

"Speak of the blue devil and she will appear," Discord deadpanned.

“So you are the one who did this to me,” she said as her horn glowed white hot with heat and she summoned a pair of blindingly bright swords made of blue plasma. A wicked and enraged grin crossed her face.

“Defend yourself," she said as she charged.

Author's Note

Skills
Kitty Punch - Just a lucky surprise punch.
Flame Teleport - 5 Step Traverse with no chargeup timer. Character may expend 1 Physical Power Use to deal 4 Heat in a 5ft AoE upon exiting the Traverse. This effect has a 5 minute lockout.
Pyrokinesis - The character's "Evolution: Unnatural Weaponry" Boon counts as flame weapons. The character has control over reshaping this quantum energy into any form of their choosing by role playing and concentrating for 15 seconds. This allows the character to change between any appropriate physrep for representing and utilizing the Unnatural Weapons, from a small knife to a one handed hammer to a two handed shredder to a rifle to a hand gun and everywhere in between or outside. Additionally, the character may also utilize a second Unnatural Weapon and Dual-Wield these or create an Unnatural Shield following standard Shield Rules. The shield counts as an equal rank Brutal Shield for all other mechanical purposes. Both the second Unnatural Weapon and / or the Unnatural Shield can also have their physreps changed as per this ability as well. While Evolution is Active, the concentration role play time to change the Unnatural Weapons or Unnatural Shield is reduced to 5 seconds and the shield counts as an equal rank Riot Shield for all other mechanical purposes. Finally, the character deals +2 Damage with Evolution: Unnatural Weaponry.

3 - Assemble The Team - I Am The Firestarter

“What tha’ hell?” Carolyn exclaimed as the blue mare leapt and swung her floating fiery swords at Discord. Discord easily side-stepped the telegraphed attack.

“Look, I am sure we can reason this out,” he said as he dodged another swing.

The crazed blue mare stumbled on the follow-through of her second attack, but quickly wheeled around and continued to swing over and over again.

“No more Drifting. No more alternate worlds. No more transformations. NO MORE!” she roared as she swung both swords in a double blade attack towards Carolyn. Carolyn saw the attack coming and brought her wing-sabre up to parry the blades and push them aside.

“Look, chill out ya' hoople! We’re not ya' enemy!” she yelled before Discord grabbed her by the leg and threw her out of harm's way. He then snapped his finger and with a boxing glove wrapped talon, he punched the blue mare square in the muzzle and knocked her away. The mare stumbled and tripped as her swords dissipated, clearly nauseated from the sudden and unexpected motion.

“Stay back you idiot! She’s beyond reason right now,” he said as the boxing glove disappeared. He looked back at the crazed mare with a tired expression as she began to work her way back to her feet. The mare stumbled and tripped again, clearly still disoriented, and Discord knew he had but a moment to regroup.

“She will attack anyone who presents themselves as a target when she’s whipped up into a frenzy like this. The only thing we can do is wait until she tires herself out and calms down.”

He then looked back over at the pair.

“You two need to run and hide for now. Observe how she fights and find her weaknesses. Find openings, but do not capitalize on them,” he then clapped his paw and his talon together as he summoned a sword of pink fire for himself, “and let me handle her for now.”

The two did as they were told and ran away to hide behind a nearby rock formation, then he then sighed as the unicorn charged again with with her twin swords in tow by her side as if they were wings.

“It is a pity that I can’t simply turn those swords into glitter or something,” he mused as he parried another pair of strikes from the enraged mare, “that would make this so much easier.”

He then countered with a strike of his own that was swiftly dodged. Then she disappeared and reappeared behind him.

“Although, spraying glitter everywhere would be pretty funny,” he said as he looked over his shoulder at her with a mischievous grin, snapped his talon, and blue and white glitter exploded everywhere. It blinded the unicorn and she reeled back in stunned confusion as Discord whipped his tail around and batted her away. He shaded his eyes and watched as she traveled through the air like a fiery blue comet.

“Oh-hoo, home run,” he chortled as she landed a respectable distance away with a thud. Then the area in the distance where the unicorn landed was scorched as a battlecry rang out and echoed across the canyon.

“Inner Flame!” she roared and then she charged again to close the distance. When she was close enough, she leapt forward with a flower of her swords, the swords even more blinding than before, and swung over and over again. Each attack was telegraphed and easily parried by her chuckling opponent.

“Oh come now firebug --” he said as he swung his own pink fire sword at her, staggering his attacks with quick jabs of his free hand. She dodged to the side, took the jabs on the chin, and swung again. The attack was parried and swept away.

“-- you're better than this,” he chortled as he counterattacked in earnest, still swinging and staggering his attacks with more quick jabs. The mare dodged and ducked each of his swings with blinding speed and continued to take the jabs on the chin, then wheeled around with another swing of her swords.

“Stay your tongue, beast,” she growled. The swords were parried over and over until Discord brought his own sword to bear and locked her in a contest of strength. They glared at each other as each one tried to gain the upper hand against the other. The mare strained and grimaced as she poured every ounce of her telekinetic strength into the struggle, but Discord barely even budged. The mare telekinetically removed one of her swords and attempted to strike him in the side, but Discord summoned another purple fire sword of his own and parried that as well, locking them back into their contest. The mare glowered at his mischievous grin, the illogically colored swords of flame only adding to her fury as he wordlessly taunted and teased her. Until finally, he spoke.

“Listen, as entertaining as your little tantrum has been --” he said before he disappeared in a flash of light. “-- I am ending this pointless quarrel.”

He reappeared behind her, bereft of the swords, and grabbed her by the neck. He then picked her up and slammed her against ground, pinning her down.

The mare’s swords disappeared with the strike and she cried out as she hit the ground. She struggled and squirmed as Discord held her down by her neck, yelling and ranting all the while.

“Change me back and send me back to Outpost Citta this instant,” she demanded as she continued to squirm.

Meanwhile from their hiding spot, Carolyn and Taki watched in awe at the sheer power that was on display.

“Fuckin’ Kings,” Carolyn said.

“By the twelve,” Taki mused.

“Geez,” Carolyn said, “and I thought I was hot-headed. Guessin’ this is the sorcelator that snake-boy mentioned.”

“No kidding,” Taki responded, “lookit how he fought her though.”

She jabbed quickly a few times with her paw and chuckled.

“Master Hammond showed me that move weirdo was using. Ya chip away at their defenses and eventually they get too tired to take much more. Fire horsey didn't stand a chance!”

Carolyn cocked an eyebrow at the explanation.

“Ya think?” she said sarcastically as she looked back at the struggling mare.

“Still, that’s some powa’ she has,” she mused, “way beyond anythin’ I've seen a Psion do.”

Back at the fight, the fiery blue mare's squirms and struggles were growing weaker and weaker as fatigue caught up to her. “There now,” he chided, “calming down firebug?”

The mare slowly stopped squirming against Discord’s grip and was breathing heavily, clearly still exhausted.

“Save it,” she said between staggered breaths, “I'm going to defeat you and you are going to send me back.”

The temperature of the air surrounding the pair then rose rapidly as the mare pulled out her trump card.

“青い火山,” she growled, and the two were quickly engulfed in a pillar of blue plasma. The intense heat scorched the wayward tufts of grass around them and the nearby water on the edge of the river flashed into steam from the heat. Discord’s cohorts in hiding exclaimed in shock as their only ticket home was seemingly incinerated in the fiery display; but as the fire died down, Discord was revealed unharmed, still holding down the mare with his paw. The mare, meanwhile, was lying still and breathing heavily, clearly exhausted and seemingly unconscious. He let go of her neck and brushed away some of the wayward glitter that still adorned it, then stood up and snuffed out a small flame burning on his goatee with his talon. He arched his back and stretched his arms over his head with a mighty groan, then looked over to his hidden cohorts.

“It’s alright now,” he called over, “she won't be doing much of anything for a while.”

At that, Carolyn and Taki left their hiding spot and cautiously approached the pair. Then they stepped back in shock as the blue mare stirred. She shakily rose to her hooves and leveled a still furious glare at Discord, breathing deeply and heavily, her breaths punctuated by the occasional dry cough. Her eyes had faded from the solid white to reveal brown irises and her mane and tail no longer were subject to the updraft from before. She summoned a floating fire sword and weakly swung it at him, but it dissipated before it could make contact and she fell forward, still breathing heavily and coughing.

“Like I said, it will be a while,” he repeated.

“Takamitsu Katsumi,” Discord said. The file from earlier was open on his lap as he sat on a rock with his leg crossed. His thick reading glasses were on and his backside was protected by an inflatable donut with the wound wrapped in a white bandage. All four legs of the blue unicorn were encased in a solid block of diamond and her horn was wrapped in what appeared to be a cone made of a strange shimmering black stone that occasionally glowed with a blue glow as the unicorn strained. Carolyn and Taki eyed the mare with no small amount of unease as she struggled against her bonds and glowered at her earlier opponent, but they turned and paid attention when Discord announced her name.

Discord lazily snapped his talon and as they did with Carolyn, papers fluttered out and surrounded him. He twirled one of the papers around to reveal a picture. Carolyn and Taki examined it, then Carolyn whipped her brownish red mane around to look at it. Then she looked at the white mane and tail on Katsumi, then at the brown hair of the picture and was left utterly confused.

“Former fire Magi, former human twice over now, current resident of earth, and wielder of all manner of fire magic --” he explained before he snapped his talon and the papers fluttered back into the file. “-- at least that is what you used to call it on Tellus. What is it they make you call it now? ‘Applied Quantum Mechanics?’”

Katsumi huffed and looked away from everyone in response.

“You tell me,” she said tersely, “since you seem to know so much about me already.”

“Listen,” Discord huffed, “this would all go much more smoothly if you simply cooperated. I'm all for rebelliousness, but I know you're more reasonable of a person than this.”

Katsumi whipped her head around and glared at him.

“Why should I be reasonable to the creature that pulled me from my home and turned me into --” she stammered as she looked at her legs through the diamond block,”-- i-into this!”

“Because he plans on sending us back,” Taki interjected before she busied herself with grooming her paw.

“Precisely,” Discord said.

“Maybe,” Carolyn said with a raised a hoof, “ya’ ought ta’ explain why we’re here in the first place now since ya’ have all’a us here. To tell ya tha’ truth, I'm a bit pissed as well about all’a this.”

Discord groaned as he snapped his talon and more papers fluttered out of the file, each one containing pictures that made everyone present gasp. Carolyn’s eyes were drawn to a picture that depicted all manner of ponies, clearly dead and decomposing, shambling about a city in the mountains. Katsumi glared at a picture that depicted all manner of otherworldly eldritch abominations ransacking another. And still another picture drew the attention of Taki that showed the lumbering and colossal form of the Primal Titan standing over a completely decimated city with a cheering army of Kobolds surrounding him.

“This is but a small sample of the damage that these creatures have caused to this world, and this is why I have brought you all here,” he said before he snapped his talon and the pictures each floated over to their respective individuals.

“Because these creatures are not of this world, our magic is ineffective against them,” he said as he looked at Katsumi and Taki, “not even the most powerful spells cast by the most powerful unicorns did anything to them.”

Then he looked over at Carolyn with a grim expression and Carolyn locked eyes with him in turn.

“And for every being that dies to these creatures, the Gravemind from your world claims their bodies and turns them into another Shambler in the undead horde. Their numbers have grown beyond what the Royal Guard is capable of handling and while we can blast them apart as many times as we want, the gravemind will simply reclaim the gore and recycle them into new bodies.”

Discord rose to his feet and with a snap of his talon that bore all of the finality of a being handing down an ultimatum, the file and his glasses all disappeared. The images and the explanation left a sobered look on all present and Discord gave them a moment to let the true gravity of the situation sink in.

Carolyn’s face, once bearing an expression of shock and disbelief, contorted into anger. “How big is it?” she seethed, “is it below us right now?”

“The Gravemind is, thankfully, contained within one location; however for how long we can not be sure,” Discord sighed, “Guardsmen are dying one by one in the effort to keep the horde contained and we cannot afford to keep adding to its number. For every body and mind it claims, it looks like its tendrils snake out even furth--”

“-- fuckin’ Kings I know what tha' Gravemind does!” she snapped. “Ya’ don’t need ta’ say it.”

Katsumi had resigned herself to closing her eyes and meditating over the details. “And the Drift Creatures your world has encountered,” Katsumi asked, “are the Drift Wave Events they come through isolated as well?”

At that, Discord shook his head. “What you call ‘Drift Wave Events’ have been happening sporadically all across the planet. There is no way to know where the next one will happen or when.”

“B-b-but why? Taki protested. “I already punched Titan and claimed his crystal! Me an load-sa other fighters who helped me out! What’s he doin’ back here!?”

“You would know more about that than me, Taki,” he replied.

Taki pouted and tapped a device that was housed in her ear with her paw, “Hey, Lazy Knights! Ya guys there?! Got a new Quest I need some help on. Could use a meathead.”

Her ear twitched as she waited for something and the others watched in confusion. Her ear twitched again as a minute passed in silence. Discord made to speak, but Taki shushed him with a raised paw and exposed claws. Then five minutes passed. Still nothing. Then Taki lost her patience. “I know yer there ya jerks! A’lig A’tor, I totally know you’re there! I could really use the help! A Marauder? A Paladin? Somethin'!” she growled.

“You won’t get an answer, likely,” Discord said with a sigh, “Equestria exists in a separate plane of existence from Eorzea, Earth, and what used to be Earth, so whatever that thing is most likely can’t reach these ‘Lazy Knights.’”

Taki ripped the device from out of her ear and tossed it on the ground with a scoff. “Well that sucks; no backup,” she said as she went back to grooming her paw.

“That is why you have these two,” Discord said as he pointed to Carolyn and Katsumi, “they will be all of the backup you need.”

Taki stopped grooming mid-lick then without pulling her tongue away, she looked at Carolyn, then Katsumi, then Discord. Then she got up and paced around, inspecting each and every one of them. She circled around Carolyn and sniffed her wings and batted at her scrap armor.

“Crappy lookin’ armor, crappy attitude, slouchy slouch --” she said, then she eyed the red “Rush” keychain dangling from her saddlebag and made to bat at it. Carolyn foresaw it and twitched. “Kings'll rock ya; Pray fa’ Justice,” she said as her bladed right wing glowed blue and swung at Taki's neck. Discord groaned as he feared yet another coming fight, but Katsumi chuckled in realization at the exchange.

Taki’s paw flashed as she parried and redirected the attack with a mischievous grin, “-- not bad on the reflexes though. What else can ya do?”

Carolyn withdrew her wing as the glow faded and she scoffed. "I'm often the one pullin’ people outta tha’ shit when they go down and I can keep ya’ from dyin’,” was her terse response. “I ain't no frontliner.”

“Ah, so you're a healer, nice,” she said.

“I ain’t no Sawbones or Doc neither, so don't expect no miracles there kitty cat.”

“Noted,” she said with a nod before she looked at Katsumi.

“And we already know what you can do,” she said before she turned back to Discord, “so with Discord here, it looks like we got ourselves a good Light Party! Count me in! Let's put the punchy punch on these creeps and get ourselves home alive!”

“Do we really have a choice in the matter?” Katsumi deadpanned which elicited a silent nod from Carolyn.

“Splendid,” Discord said with a smile. He snapped his talon to summon a quill and parchment, wrote out a quick note, then with a wave of his hand it disappeared.

“Our first stop, Canterlot,” he said before he snapped his his talon one final time and all four of them disappeared in a flash of light.

Celestia,

I’ve gathered them all up and they are ready to fight. The plan is, at present, proceeding as expected and we will arriving at the outskirts of Canterlot momentarily. Be ready to open a hole in the shield on my signal.

And for goodness sake, stay alive!

Hugs and kisses!
Discord <3

Author's Note

Skills and Classes (And there's a lot of them this time.)
Parry - This Skill counters all melee and brawling strikes delivered from the front.
Geas: Oh, but that would be so... boring. - Character will show respect for weaker opponents who truly intend to fight by not completely defeating them outright.
Master of Mischief - "What, you were expecting me to fight fair?"
Evolution - The Character may expend 1 extraordinary power use in order to access up to 1 unique evolution ability for 15 minutes (if Simple) or 1 hour (if Ultimate), initially chosen from the list below when this trait is gained. This trait may be taken multiple times, with each additional purchase beyond the first allowing an additional choice of unique evolution to access for the duration. Costuming requirements listed are suggestions for Ultimate only. (1 Extraordinary Power Use Available, 1 used in combat, EPU only regenerate between events)
Evolution: Shield [Agility] - When gaining this ability, the character chooses Resilience or Agility. While evolution is active, the character gains +8 regenerating protection of the chosen type. Regenerating protection automatically heals itself at a rate of 2 points per minute. Also, while evolution is active, the chosen type will also work against bullets and ener. This is called as “Improved Resilience/Agility.”
Evolution: Unnatural Weaponry - Regardless of whether or not evolution is activated, the character has odd weaponry such as unnatural claws, oddly grown appendages or sharply shaped body chitin, quantum energy “spirit” weapons, etc. When Evolution is activated, the character gains access to use his or her unnatural weaponry via a special Combat Path called Combat Path: Evol. The rank of Combat Path the character gains is Scaling based on highest rank of Standard Class. Combat Path: Evol. (Rank: Expert - about mid-level in the balance of Oblivion.)
Maniac - Maniacs utilize a special pool called "Sanity" in order to fuel "Frenzies." Frenzies are special states which grant the Maniac mechanical bonuses for varied durations (based on any specific Frenzy). Unless otherwise specified, while Frenzied, the Maniac considers any possible target an enemy and is compelled to attack those targets with extreme prejudice. Also while Frenzied, the Maniac becomes immune to Fear, Mind, and Pain Effects of Scaling rank (based on their highest rank of progress platform the Maniac has on this list). Once a Maniac is no longer Frenzied, he or she is under a Exhaustion for 5 minutes.
Maniac Progress Platform: Meltdown - In addition to some other effects, the Maniac gains the following Frenzy:
Fury - 1 Sanity point. Duration 5m. Lockout 15m. The Maniac gains +6 damage, +4 resilience, immunity to subdual damage. These numerical bonuses allow the character to exceed damage cap for the duration.
Eruption - While evolution is active, the character may spend 1 Physical Power to erupt into Blue Flame. This deals 8 Plasma to all targets within weapon’s distance. Immediately following this AOE attack, the character suffers a 15 second Incapacitate Effect and Evolution is instantly ended.
Pray For Justice - When used as a ranged attack, this skill is defended against with only with the skill ‘Avoid’ (no other skill). Gods may be merciful and gods may be wrathful. When a truly devout person calls upon that wrath, it can be terrifying to behold. By spending 5 Mind Points, calling out to your god for vengeance and making a successful ranged attack, you may inflict 10 Blessed damage upon a target. The deity worshiped must be clearly named - if the target of this effect worships the same deity they take no damage. A person with this skill may also choose instead to spend 5 Mind Points and Pray for Justice over a melee weapon or knucks; the first three strikes with that weapon inflict 10 points of Blessed (Type) damage. In addition, when Pray for Justice is purchased, Faith Healing time drops from 5 minutes to 2 minutes of prayer.
Keen Flurry - Increases parry rate by 40%. Duration 20s.
Google Translate Shenanigans
青い火山 - Ao kazan - Blue Volcano