I Never got a chance to tell you...

by BronyAugustus

Rating: teen
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy, Pinkie Pie, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1155

Twilight, Princess of friendship, loyal servant to Princess Celestia, great friend to so many, has been murdered. the killers have been brought to justice, and everypony has gone back to life as normal, so it seems. All but one

Sometimes in life we say things we don't mean. But other times we don't say enough while we have time. This is what has happened to Pinkie Pie. She never got a chance to confess her love to Twilight, an now she has lost her. It's too much too bear, so she will end it. "I'm coming Twilight..."

Published 2017-03-27 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-27 00:30:01 UTC

...but I will soon.

Here I am, at your grave. The spot is serene, the river nearby and the one tree overshadowing us with it's leaves. The warm sunlight is fading now, the day heading towards Twilight. The old me would laugh at that, being at Twilight's grave at Twilight. The new me doesn't laugh much, nor does she throw parties. Then again, we're all so different now that you're gone.

Fluttershy has been so reclusive, if it weren't for discord looking after her, we would all be so worried. But she has come out more, even going to canterlot when Philomenia was sick. Applejack has actually taken this fairly well, although she's had Rainbow's help. Those two have been so close since all this started, I keep expecting for them to get married! The old me would probably be planning the reception already, but I haven't thrown a party since that day. Speaking of Rainbow, she actually got back in touch with her parents, and it seems that they've put the past behind them. At least they haven't fought over her being with AJ, so they finally seem to accept that she likes mares. Rarity has kept up her shop, and is doing fairly well. She's been taking care of Spike, which he's been happy about. Starlight has taken up your place as Princess of friendship, and has done very well. But she's no replacement for you. The way you talked, how you could be so scientific and intelligent without being even slightly stuck-up, your wonderful voice, your beautiful mane. Certainly there is no mare truly like to you.

Damn! Why couldn't I have said all this too you while you were still alive! Maybe then you wouldn't have gone to Canterlot that day to see Celestia. Maybe we could've stopped the conspirators before they killed you, maybe... just maybe you would be alive, and I would be here with you on a date, not staring at your grave, knowing that you, the friend I loved as more than a friend was gone from this world, never to grace it with another smile, to fill it's silence with your wonderful, snorting laugh.

You know, I think that's the part of you I fell in love with first. Then your clear voice, your quick wit, soon I loved every part of you. I would give everything to see you again, let you know how I feel. And that's why I'm here.

Gummy's at Fluttershy's cottage, and I know she'll take good care of him. I laid out in my diary what I want to give and to whom. I made sure I'm paid up on rent with the cakes, and I even spent most of the day with my friends. I fell kind of bad though, because I couldn't tell them about this. Especially AJ, who I had to lie to, saying I needed the rope for a prank. But I'm ready to be with you again, no matter the cost. And since I can't bring you back to me, I'm going to go to you. Suicide, that's what it's called. Some say it's a sin, but I feel that if it is, I will be forgiven in this case. And I'd rather face an eternity in Tartarus then spend another day without you.

The sun is setting now, turning the western sky beautiful shades of crimson and gold, seemingly more spectacular than ever before, almost as if it was set up as a final glimpse of this world's beauty as I prepare to enter the next. Pulling my gaze from the beautiful horizon, I pull the coil of rope from my pack. I hold it in my hooves, and for a moment doubt creeps into my mind. Maybe I shouldn't do this. It would hurt my friends after all. Then I realize that they're already hurting, and a little more would pass unnoticed.

I toss one end of the rope over the tree, tie the knot, and Fish my final note out of my bag. I weight it down with a rock. I then climb on your tombstone, securing the noose around my neck. The sunset is nearly over, reaching it's final shades of dark blue and Violet, just like your colors. with this last sense of beauty, I jump. as my senses fade, I think I smell the smell of your mane, and I hear your laugh, your o so wonderful laugh...

The Next Morning

A quiet lay over sweet apple acres, for it was to be a day of rest. AppleJack, always an early riser, sat in the kitchen, hot mug of coffee in hoof. The rooster crowed in the distance, but AJ ignored it. Her thoughts were on the date she had planned with Rainbow that night, and the activities they would enjoy later. She sighed, wondering if she could ever work up the nerve to ask Rainbow to marry her. That would be the day...

Her fantasies were interrupted by a furious knocking. Answering the door she saw a near hysterical and exhausted looking Fluttershy. She asked what was going on, but the yellow Pegasi was too panicked to speak.

"Now come in and try to calm down. What ever it is, Ahm sure we can deal with it.

After a few minutes, AJ managed to coax three words out of her: "Pinkie...hanged herself!"

"Where!"

"T...Twilight's grave."

She then galloped off.

It took a few minutes, but she made it without stopping. There, hanging from a tree, was a pony who, a year ago, had been the craziest, happiest pony in town. Now, her mane was flat, but a smile, the first in weeks, was shown on her face. And beneath her, weighted down with a stone to keep it from flying away, was a note that read:

Dear friends

I'm sorry it has to end like this, but I can't go on. You have recovered, but I never will. She was more than a friend to me. I loved her, although I never got the chance to tell her. She was my love, and the world is dark without her. Laughter may be my element, but without her, my laughter is gone. This is not your fault, so don't blame yourselves.

Fluttershy: My timid friend, you are braver than you know. You have a wonderful gift in healing others, so don't hide away that gift in trying to hide from your grief.

Rarity: Your sense of beauty is exquisite, and you combine perfectly upscale manners with a humility that most upscale ponies lack. Don't worry about what others think of you, but rather what you think of yourself.

AppleJack and Rainbow Dash: I address you together because you belong together. Remember always that life is short and love is precious, so enjoy every minute of both.

Not an eye was dry as they buried her next to Twilight