Anonymous and Screwball

by The Infinity Doctor

Rating: teen
Tags: Dinky Hooves, Derpy Hooves, Human, Anthro, Screwball, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 1863

For Anonymous, Equestria isn't an awful place to live, but what happens when her ward, Screwball, becomes adopted?

For Anonymous, Equestria isn't an awful place to live, given time to adjust to everything. But what happens when her ward, Screwball, becomes adopted?

Cover art courtesy of: Blockeraser
https://derpibooru.org/205268?scope=scpe72b4ac20636cf589b392ca8d77ca59f4de85263b

Published 2017-03-27 01:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-27 01:40:01 UTC

Chapter Two

After dinner was prepared, Screwball sat and ate with Anonymous. She watched her with curiosity, how one lone hue-mun could stand to do what almost no ponies would do, even if you'd have paid them. The question welled up within her, before she finally set her fork down.

Anonymous looked up from her plate, giving Screwball a curious look.

"What's the matter? I thought spaghetti and fudge sauce was your favorite?"

Screwball looked to Anonymous.

"Why did you decide to take care of me?" the pink filly asked.

Anonymous pushed her plate to the side, thankfully not loaded down with spaghetti and fudge.

"I saw myself in you, to be honest."

Screwball made a face.

"You're being sappy again."

"To clarify, I was alone at one point, when I first came to Equestria."

"You were?"

Anonymous nodded.

"Being a new species, the ponies didn't quite take to me as one of them," she continued "with some help from the Sisters, I was able to become familiar with them, and they with me."

"So I've just got to do the same?" Screwball asked.

"In your own way, yeah," Anonymous said, going quiet for a moment.

"...can I read the files and stuff?"

Anonymous nodded again. "Just don't smudge my signatures, I need to mail those back to the castle in the morning."

Screwball nodded, flipping through the folder, pouring over the reports and documents.

(Break)

"Mommy-" Dinky Doo asked, standing out of her mother's way.

"Hm?" Ditzy Doo asked, preparing her lunch for the day.

"How am I getting another sister? I thought you didn't have a special somepony."

Ditzy shuffled a few apples and a small stack of alfalfa into her lunchbag.

"There's a lot of colts and fillies in the world that don't have mommies and daddies, muffin," the grey pegasus explained "so there's a group that helps them find homes."

"Oh..." Dinky said in understanding "so we're helping a colt or filly have a family?"

"She's a filly," Ditzy nodded, slipping on her uniform "and yes, I hope that she'll be a part of our family."

"Will I like her?" Dinky questioned, as her mother headed for the front door.

"That's up to you, sweetie," Ditzy replied, leaning down to kiss her daughter on the nose. "Be good while I'm at work, Sparkler will be here in a few minutes, and you two will spend the day together, okay?"

Dinky smiled, and kissed her mother in return. "Okay, see you later, mommy!"

"Bye muffin, be back around six!" Ditzy said, heading out the door and off to the post office.

Dinky waved to her mother, before retreating into the house, beginning to pick up a bit. If they were going to have a new addition to the family, she wanted to make a good first impression.

(break)

"What looks better?" Screwball asked, looking in a full-body mirror she'd summoned, swapping a number of dresses and articles of clothing. "How about the neon-green overalls with these bright orange socks?"

Anonymous watched the whole whirlwind with a slight bit of amusement.

"Anon, this isn't funny," she whined, twirling away from the mirror "I've got to make a good impression on Ditzy and Dinky."

"Screw, I'm sure they won't mind what you wear, if anything at all." Anonymous said, having done some light reading on pony fashion customs.

"But I wanna do what you'd do." she pouted.

"That's your first mistake," Anon commented, standing up "literally don't do anything that I'd do."

"But I can't be 'me'," Screwball went on "'me' is a pink ball of chaos that loves to lob rainbow-covered baseballs over the castle walls."

Anonymous sighed. "The Screwball I know is a charming young woman that has a clever answer for every situation"

Anonymous gently tossed Screwballs hair, fluffing up the purple and white curls as she spoke.

"You're a hue-man, you don't understand pony language." Screwball huffed.

"Maybe not, but I DO understand that you're a very lucky pony."

"What? Because I'm a freak of nature?"

Anonymous gave Screwball a gentle smack upside the head.

"I was going to say that you're one-of-a-kind, but now that you mention it-" Anonymous grinned, trapping Screwball in a headlock and giving her a noogie.

The pink filly squealed, trying to escape from her, attempting to swat at Anon's face.

"'Nonette, stop, you're gonna mess up my mane!" she giggled.

"Your mane is already messy, Screw." Anon laughed right back.

"But it's MY kind of messy, YOUR kind of messy is just hideous!"

There was much giggling and laughing the rest of the night.

Chapter One

She entered her small apartment, briefcase in one hand, and a stack of papers from the Royal Courts of Canterlot. She kicked the door closed, then turning to the living room and entering the apartment proper. Seated on the small kitchen island was a bright pink mare, her back to her. The green propeller on her beanie spun perpetually, twirling in an invisible wind. The mare's head spun an impossible 360 degrees, before her muzzle split into a perfect grin.

"'Nonette! You're home~!" she cheered, leaping off of the island and rushing towards her roommate.

She cringed as she was assaulted with a mighty bear hug and a shower of kisses. She honestly hated being called Anonymous, as officially stated by the Canterlot Records office. Still, she thought, it was a bit better than being called 'Jane Doe'. Screwball was a special case though, she tolerated the name just a little more than usual.

"Nice to see you too," she said, giving a small chuckle as she lightly pecked Screwball on the cheek "anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

"Nope! Same old boring stuff as always!" she replied giddily.

"Ah, good," she said, setting her things down on the coffee table "I'm going to go get a shower, then I'll be out to help with dinner."

"Okay!" she smiled, floating through the air and back to the kitchen.

Anon smiled and rolled her eyes, retreating to the bathroom to clean up.

While her roommate was busy in the shower, Screwball quickly dug a sealed envelope out of the stack of mail on the kitchen table. Stamped neatly on the fold was the mark of both Celestia and Luna, addressed to Anonymous. Her hand shook a bit as she tried to pry open the letter. Her eyes screwed shut as she tried to fight off her curiosity

'Is it curiosity or fear, that's driving you to do this?' she asked herself. 'You know it's about you- the real question is, do you trust her?'

Screwball bit her lip, glancing between the letter and the hallway.

'Yes- I do' she decided with finality.

If They thought she wasn't fit, they would have a hell of a time fitting her with somepony else. She wanted to think she was a strong filly, but her gut had quite literally twisted itself into knots as her heart shaped itself into a drum, pounding loudly inside her rattling ribcage.

Everything would be fine, it was probably just another summons for another meeting or something.

Anonymous stepped out of the bathroom, wrapping a towel around herself and shuffling towards her room. It felt good to have a warm shower after a long day of work, of course being a weather correspondent wasn't the most ideal for someone with no wings, but it did pay well. The Cloudsdale weather factory had apparently wanted her for planning weather schedules and the like. Granted, there was a learning curve- learning proper weather scheduling had been a surreal experience, especially when you had a pegasus teaching you.

Slipping on a tank top and a comfortable pair of shorts, Anonymous walked out of her bedroom and headed into the kitchen, where she found Screwball having a staring contest with the kitchen floor.
"Screw? You alright?" she asked, approaching the mare.

Screwball glanced up, smiling sheepishly. "I'm alright, just nervous that you won't like my cooking, is all"

Anonymous gave her a look. "I know when you're lying, now what's really bothering you?"

Screwball silently presented the letter from the Royal Sisters to her.

"Oh, is this what was bothering you? Screwball, you shouldn't need to worry about this," she stated, tearing open the envelope "the Sisters already decided you weren't going to be sent to the-"

Anon's eyes widened, reading over the letter.

From the desk of Princess Celestia:

To: Anonymous and Screwball
2036, Canter Court street, apt. 404

Dear Anonymous, I am happy to bear you the good news! As of last night, your assigned ward, Screwball, is no longer a ward of the Crown. A small family in Ponyville has agreed to officially adopt her, until she is of age.
Do write back, Luna and I would enjoy having tea with you again sometime.

-Celestia and Luna

Anon's hand shook as she read the letter, reading it over another two times before setting it on the table.

"What did it say-?" Screwball asked, anxiously toying with her beanie in her hands.

Anonymous walked to her, and hugged her.

"Was it that bad?" Screwball asked, her voice climbing in pitch.

Anonymous let out a small laugh.
"No, it's not anything bad."

"Then why are you crying?"

Anonymous proceeded to show her the letter.

"Somepony adopted me?" Screwball asked, as if she were almost afraid to believe it.

Anonymous nodded slowly. "Yeah, those papers that I helped you fill out about two years ago? Those we finally put through, and, here we are."

Screwball nodded.

"..."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Screwball-" Anonymous said, finally "I thought you might be more excited to be given a proper family."

"But we are a proper family, aren't we?" she asked quietly.

'Oh don't tell me-' Anonymous thought to herself.

"Screwball- I know we've grown closer over these past two years," she gulped, wondering how she should phrase what she was about to say "you remember your situation before the Sisters decided you could live with other ponies?"

"You're not a pony though-"

"Screwball." Anonymous huffed.

The pink filly rolled her eyes.

"I was made, during Discord's return, floating about Ponyville," she sighed "Discord's magic disappeared, and I didn't- you happy?"

Anonymous let out a small sigh of her own, obviously having touched a nerve with the filly's past. She approached her and tussled her frizzy mane.

"Yes," she replied "you were left, for whatever reason, so the Crown took you on as a ward of the state."

"How come I'm not in an orphanage then?" Screwball asked.

"Celestia and Luna decided to let me take care of you, at least until the proper registration could be arranged-"

"Which brings us up to now." Screwball finished.

Anonymous nodded.

Screwball hugged Anonymous tightly. "What if I don't like the new ponies? What if they don't like me?"

Anonymous gently bopped Screwball on the snout.

"You'll never get anywhere by asking 'what if'." she said.

Screwball scrunched her nose.

"Where did you pull that from? A self-help book?"

"Hush you," Anon laughed, walking to the kitchen counter "go and get clean, I'll finish dinner."