We're Having a Baby

by MisterNick

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Night Light, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Shining Armor, Twilight Velvet
Length: 4731

Shining Armor and Princess Cadence decide to break the news to his parents that they're having a baby.

It's been a long time since Shining Armor has seen his parents. So, upon discovering that Cadence and he are going to become parents, the couple decides to reveal the happy news to them.

They pick a rather exclusive restaurant that happens to be a favorite of Night Light and Twilight Velvet's to break the news. However, Cadence and Shining Armor may not be the only ones who have something to reveal at the dinner that evening.

Published 2017-05-02 02:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-02 02:00:01 UTC

Dinner with the Folks

Le Restaurant Rouge et Vert was very exclusive. First, one had to know where to look and then head down the gangway between two old cider mills and pass several discarded crates and barrels that smelled none too pleasant after years outside. If you were lucky the path was clear of other miscellaneous debris, vagabonds and the occasional pest nest. Once past those obstacles you had to know to make an immediate left and knock on the large metal door of a rather dingy looking building and give the password. Fortunately for Shining Armor and Cadence the current password had been supplied to them by his parents and before too long they were ushered in.

In spite of its rough exterior, the inside of Rouge et Vert was high end. The floor was ebony while the tables were mahogany. The soft candle light twinkled from above in crystal chandeliers and cast an orange glow against the walls. Suffice it to say Shining Armor was suitably impressed. Yet as he took his seat a puzzled look slowly crossed his face as he stared at his place setting. “What is all this?”

“What is all what dear,” asked Cadence as she nodded to the waiter who deposited their menus.

“All of this,” repeated the white unicorn, “I mean I know they are forks, knives, spoons and so on but, why so many? What are they all for? It’s like a parade of utensils.”

Cadence chuckled a bit, “Well dear, this is formal dining. It’s a bit different than what we normally do.”

Shining Armor glanced about self-consciously, “Can you give me a hint?”

“Start on the outside and work your way in,” replied Cadence as she flipped through the menu, “Goodness they have lots of options. I’m not surprised your parents like coming here. ”

“And these round things that are red on one side and green on the other…”

“Coasters dear, we have them at home. You should try using them sometime,” replied Cadence with a wink.

“I know what a coaster is. Our waters are sitting on them but, these are just sitting here,” said Shining Armor dropping the disks red side up.

“It might be something specific to the restaurant, just ask the waiter when he comes back.”

Shining Armor didn’t respond. Instead he tapped his hooves on the table and looked at his menu. Eventually an uneasy sigh escaped his lips followed by low mumbling about the situation that caught Cadence’s attention.

“Are you okay? You’ve been out of it since we got on the train to Canterlot.”

Shining Armor sighed. It was the first time in a long time since he’d seen his parents. Truth be told he hadn’t seen them since the wedding and that was a few years prior. Then again, while he loved them he’d always considered them odd.

Even before he’d received his cutie mark his parents had pushed him into as many extracurricular activities as they could. Often, whether it was a sporting event, play or recital only one of them would show up and often with Twilight Sparkle who was the only one he was truly close to. Once he’d achieved his mark his parents sent him away to military school and while summers and breaks back home were nice and fun filled there were still things that caught his attention as odd. Now add to the fact that the main reason they were having this dinner to announce that Cadence was expecting, well it was more than enough to make him nervous. “It’s complicated,” he said with a sigh.

Cadence leaned on her husband’s shoulder and looked up at him, “It can’t be that bad. I mean I’ve known you and your family since high school.”

“You knew Twily longer than me at that point. The first time I saw you was after I got booted from the academy for the flushed cherry bomb incident.”

“Oh,” Cadence paused, “I didn’t know that.”

“Weirdly enough mom wasn’t mad. It was almost as if she understood. In fact she was really happy that I was home. Dad however, gave me a lecture on responsibility I’ll never forget.”

“I remember when your father walked in on us when I was supposed to be helping you study geometry.”

“He made us study with the door open after that just to be safe,” said Shining Armor with a chuckle.

“They’re not that bad.”

Shining Armor gazed into his wife’s pink eyes for what felt like a long time. The deeper he looked the calmer he felt until he eventually felt a small smile creep across his face. “I guess not,” began Shining Armor, “It’s just … I dunno they’ve had their weird moments. Like I wasn’t ever allowed in dad’s study, even when I got older and mom never did talk about her meetings or whatever they were other than to say they were, ‘boring.’”

“Well, your mom’s a writer right? It was probably just some sort of author’s club and you weren’t into that sort of thing. Chances are Twilight would have been more interested in that.”

“I guess so.”

“As far as your dad’s study goes,” said Cadence thoughtfully, “It’s probably just where he went to get away from the stresses of work and all.” Cadence paused for a moment and then nudged him, “Sort of how you have your band that you jam out with but I’m technically not supposed to know about.”

Shining Armor coughed and blushed. “Yeah well… um… we … umm… you know rock n’ roll and all. Gotta keep on rockin’ in the… ”

“We all have our little things that help us relax sweetie,” said Cadence, “I even have mine.”

“Like what,” said Shining Armor raising a brow.

Cadence smirked then stuck her tongue out at him, “I’m not telling.”

“Oh, that’s so not fair.”

“What’s not fair,” asked a familiar male voice.

Shining Armor looked up from his menu and saw his parents. They were unicorns. His father, Night Light was blue with a neatly combed mane and wore a pleasant smile across his face as he looked at his son and daughter-in-law. Twilight Velvet however was a bit less reserved. The white unicorn’s eyes began to tear with joy as she nudged her husband, “Look dear just,” she began but covered her muzzle stifling the rest of her comment.

“I see it Vel but, I wouldn’t…”

“Oh stop,” replied Twilight Velvet as she rounded the table and hugged Cadence and Shining Armor tightly, “This is… it’s obviously something big if they’re both here and … well you know!”

Night Light sighed and pulled out his chair, “It’s good to see you both of course. I’m sorry I’m not really hugging tonight. I wrenched my back out in the yard and it hurts to...”

“Say no more,” responded Cadence with a smile, “Shiny has done similar when he’s trying to show off by physically carrying large amounts of armor. I’ve told him to take it easy, but you know Shiny.”

“That I do,” said Night Light with a smile and a nod, “So, let’s get this all out in the open shall we? What’s the news?”

Shining Armor started to respond but his mother quickly dabbed a napkin in some water and began to wipe what she thought was a smudge off of his white hair. Twilight Velvet followed that up by attempting to straighten his mane out as well. For his part, Shining Armor struggled against his mother’s primping but it was to no avail.

“Well, we were going to save it for dessert but I guess we can tell you now,” giggled Cadence as Twilight Velvet finished fixing up her son. She looked across the table and smiled at her in-laws as she placed her hoof on Shining Armor’s.

“Yes, now is good,” said Twilight Velvet as she leaned forward in her chair looking like she was going to pop with anticipation.

“We’re going to have a baby,” said Cadence.

“Well that’s wonderf-,” began Night Light before he was cut off by his wife.

“I knew it! I knew it! I knew it,” cried Twilight Velvet, “Those placards… I knew it!”

“Dear please,” began Night Light.

“No,” declared Twilight Velvet firmly, “They’re having a baby!” She turned to the couple and smiled broadly, “Oh there’s so much I want to share with you. Believe me I’ve never been so happy.”

“Well, no kidding mom,” said Shining Armor as he watched his mother's hysterics.

“Waiter,” called out Twilight Velvet, “They’re having a baby! Bring around the special cart ASAP!” The waiter, a young earth pony with an eyepatch and a sensible moustache clapped his hooves together excitedly and disappeared into the back. Twilight Velvet turned back to the couple, “I never thought this day would come.”

Shining Armor blinked in surprise, “Really? I mean you two kind of caught us at least…”

“Dear I don’t think…”

“This is the best thing ever,” said Twilight Velvet.

“Well we’re glad you’re so happy,” replied Cadence.

“Oh, I haven’t been so happy since I met my Shnookums here.”

“Wasn’t that at prom,” asked Shining Armor.

“Dear…”

“No, that was our first dance. Enchantment under the Elms was the theme. It was quite silly. I met him before that. “

“I’d heard about the prom,” said Cadence with a large grin, “SO how did you two meet anyway?”

In spite of her husband’s attempts to butt in Twilight Velvet began her story. It all started when she was a junior in high school and a Wonderbolt reserve by the name of Crème Snicket caught her eye. He wasn’t the fastest flier but, there was something in the way he moved that caught her attention and kept it. His dives, spins and twirls were all effortless and worthy of poetry.

When she watched him she felt something deep inside that she’d never felt before. Her stomach would knot up and her heart would pound rapidly as nervous energy coursed through her. Twilight Velvet had spent many a night feeling that way as she replayed the Wonderbolt’s movements in her mind’s eye as she drifted off to sleep. It was a longing that only he could fulfill. It wasn’t until the beginning of October that she began to fashion a plan to land him.

It took her a couple of weeks of amassing the necessary materials but on the eve of Nightmare Night Twilight Velvet had put together a costume that she felt would do the trick. It was a Shadow Spade outfit complete with fedora, trench coat and a very stylish suit. However, Twilight Velvet knew that wouldn’t be enough, not for a Wonderbolt like Snicket and so she added a twist. She would go as Shadow Spade if the titular detective were also a werewolf. In order to complete the costume she fashioned some claws using some of her mother’s least favorite cutlery and sharpened a set of false teeth so that they were pointed and fit comfortably in her mouth. It was perfect yet, twenty four hours later all that would change.

Twilight Velvet’s mother was the type that stuck to a strict schedule. Every Friday was cleaning day no matter what time of the year it was. On top of that every other Saturday was her and her friends Canasta game. So when Nightmare Night landed on that Friday and the card game fell on the next day, the regularly scheduled deep cleaning was done.

That afternoon Twilight Velvet shrieked in horror when she saw that the costume she’d laid out, save for the hat, was hanging on a clothes line with the rest of the laundry air drying. What was worse was the fact that one of the claws she’d fashioned had gone missing too. “Mom,” whined Twilight Velvet, “How am I supposed to do Nightmare Night stuff without a costume?”

Her mother sighed, put down her mop and quickly went upstairs. When she came down she tossed Twilight Velvet an old red and green striped Hearth’s Warming sweater and a spool of rope. “There. Tie one of your forelegs up and you can go as an amputee werewolf that has the Hearth’s Warming spirit,” she said.

“But mom that’s too much rope and I’m gonna look like a dork!”

“Don’t but me young filly,” said her mom sternly as she escorted her out the door, “Now shoo before you dirty up the tile. It needs time to dry.”

Twilight Velvet sighed dejectedly as the door closed. The costume was a disaster. Yet, in spite of her misgivings she headed to the woods where she got dressed and made any other additional preparations she could. She then crouched behind a bush and waited for evening to come and with it Snicket. Twilight Velvet hoped that he wouldn’t take long; she was starting to get hungry and didn’t want to seem too desperate.

Sure enough, as the sun sank in the sky Snicket made his usual trek through the treetops diving and spinning. Twilight Velvet watched as she floated the end of her rope in front of her as he got closer. “So cute,” she sighed looking up at him dreamily. “It’s really a shame that it comes to this,” she muttered and tugged on the rope. When she did two large branches swung forward and smacked Snicket who fell to the forest floor with a sickening thud.

To Twilight Velvet’s surprise the pegasus was on his hooves fairly quickly but, limped all the same. His wings hung weakly at his sides as he groaned in pain. Then without much warning the sound of crunching twigs and leaves echoed around them. Twilight Velvet held her breath as Snicket searched for cover in a different set of bushes. The crunching got louder as a blue unicorn wearing a hockey mask, dark green jumpsuit, while wielding a machete popped out from behind a tree.

He paused briefly and looked about his surroundings. Then he began to sing as he stalked about the nearby brush, “Oh I wonder wonder wonder what’s in the Wonderbolt.” He paused briefly, his ears honing in on Snicket’s rapid breathing. “Chocolate and nuts,” he sung turning in the direction of the sound.

Snicket noisily crawled behind a tree close to where Twilight Velvet hid. The unicorn slowly tracked him and as he did, began to walk in their general direction. “Ooh candy pieces too,” he sung gleefully as he closed in on Snicket who scrambled toward her.

“Oh I wonder wonder wonder what’s inside … of… you,” sung the unicorn slowly and menacingly.

Snicket scrambled as quickly as he could now toward Twilight Velvet who readied her claw. When he was within striking distance she jabbed him in the barrel with it. Snicket began to scream but, his scream was cut short when the masked unicorn struck him down with the machete.

Twilight Velvet looked up at the masked unicorn and gulped. Quickly a nervous smile crossed her face revealing her sharp costume teeth as she looked up at him. “Um… hello I … um… who are you supposed to be?”

“Hat Trick Roy, the best goalie ever, but I had to work late doing janitorial stuff and didn’t have time to change,” said the unicorn as he raised his mask to reveal the most dashing blue face that Twilight Velvet had ever seen. “Was… was that your trap?”

She nodded. “I was just going to use magic but, my mom gave me the rope after she trashed my costume. Then I was going to use my claws to get him after I grounded him.”

“It was a nice trap,” said the unicorn as he smiled politely. “Moms they’re the worst aren’t they? Always ‘cleaning’ and going through your stuff. “

“Totally.”

“So what were you planning on doing after you downed him?”

Twilight Velvet blushed and looked away, “I – I was thinking… maybe of somehow… I don’t know… maybe eating a piece of him….”

“Really?”

“Pretty weird huh?”

“Yeah but if it makes you feel any better… me and a couple of my friends had targeted him weeks ago for just that sort of thing… you seem cool… wanna join us for a barbeque? We’ve got Natural Ice Cider and nacho chip too!”

Twilght Velvet felt her tummy rumble and she nodded, “My name’s Twilight Velvet and… yes I think I’d love that.”

“Sweet,” declared the unicorn, “By the way I’m Night Light and Hondo and Cookie should be coming up in a few!” With that Night Light lowered his mask, “So, let’s get this guy ready for the cookout!”

Shining Armor and Cadence’s mouths gaped. Their eyes stood wide in shock after the story. Shining Armor glanced at his wife then back at his mother, “W-wait I… what?”

Twilight Velvet looked squarely at Cadence, “Now let me tell you something about baby… in spite of the fat if you cook it just right it can actually help you lose weight. I was reading a book by Swift…”

“Vel,” said Night Light firmly.

Twilight Velvet turned to her husband. “What,” she growled in irritation.

“Vel dear, you have a big mouth! Look at their faces. Are those the looks of ponies that are into what you’re talking about?”

Twilight Velvet looked back at the couple who continued to gaze at her in utter bewilderment. Then she shot a pleading and confused look back to her husband, “But this place… the placards are red side up not green… what else....”

“You’re going to be a grandmare Vel. That’s what they meant. Cadence is pregnant.”

Twilight Velvet’s eyes widened as she glanced rapidly between her husband, son and daughter-in-law. “So you mean…”

“Vel,” said Night Light in a measured tone, “Go speak with the staff about not bringing the cart around while I talk with these two.”

Twilight Velvet frowned and slowly got up from the table. Yet just as soon as she was on her hooves she turned and smiled broadly at Shining Armor and Cadence. “I was just being silly you know Shiny? Your mom is a silly filly! Ha ha?”

“Vel,” growled Night Light, “They’re not buying it.”

“Too much detail?”

“Yes.”

“Fiddlesticks, but hey at least I get to be a grandmare so yay,” said Twilight Velvet as she left the table.

Night Light sat quietly and opened his menu before telling a passing waiter that they wanted bread and some two more glasses of water. He sighed giving the menu one more glance then returned his gaze to his son and daughter-in-law, “I love your mother. She’s a wonderful mare but… sometimes….”

“I can’t… you two are murdering cannibals,” said Shining Armor quietly, “My life is…”

“Yours son. All yours,” said Night Light closing his menu, “Just as it always has been. “

“It… all makes so much more sense… and… it’s so creepy.”

“How long has this been going on,” asked Cadence.

“I don’t think you came here for a history lesson, but there have always been a small percentage of us roaming around since forever.” Night Light shrugged, “I mean this place does have a large selection of meat and is fairly pricey.”

Cadence turned to her husband, “We’re going to have to tell Princess Celestia Shiny.”

“My whole life is a ...,” started Shining Armor as his mother stormed back to table and sat down with a bang.

“Well we’re banned from the restaurant after this meal,” she declared angrily, “So typical.”

“They’ll let us back in in a month. You know dear,” said Night Light, “Cadence wants to tell Celestia on us.”

Twilight Velvet’s eyes widened as she covered her mouth with one of her hooves, “My stars!” She slowly began to tremble as she looked across the table at Cadence, “Please don’t do that! It’s not our fault! We’re just helping…”

“You’re murdering others. It’s not…”

Twilight Velvet shot her gaze to her husband, “Dear tell them! Tell them what we do and why!”

“I dunno,” said Night Light as his frustration mounted, “She seems pretty sure of herself.”

“Is this about me not helping you move those gardenias?”

“No. It’s not.”

“Double negative,” declared Twilight Velvet, “Or did you mean those as two separate…”

“Bingo she wins a goldfish,” grumbled Night Light, “It’s about you and your runaway mouth and how you're always jumping to conclusions.”

“Come on Shiny we should…”

Shining Armor sat quietly in his seat. For the first time in his life he had an idea as to why his parents acted the way they did. “No,” he said, “We’re not going.”

“What?”

“See,” said Twilight Velvet, “He’s not going! He understands!”

“Vel he doesn’t know anything!”

“Then tell them or we’re going to be in big trouble!”

“Woah,” said Shining Armor in his ‘captain’s voice’ silencing everyone. He raised his hoof from the table and placed it on his wife’s. “Dear I love you. We’re going to be parents. I wouldn’t want that with anyone else. “

“Oh, Shiny.”

“But I also love my parents and… I need to know exactly what’s going on beyond this story before I do anything. This is important.”

Twilight Velvet put her hooves on one of her husband’s, “Dear.”

Night Light sighed, “Okay… go get the file from upstairs while we talk.” Twilight Velvet smiled and took off toward the back again. Night Light shook his head then looked squarely at Shining Armor, “When a pony like your mother or I reach a certain age they begin to feel certain ways about others.”

Shining Armor blushed slightly recognizing the similarity to a different sort of talk he’d had with his father years ago. “Go on.”

“In this instance it’s the urge to consume them. The reason for this is simple; there is something innately wrong with the other individual. We still don't know why it happens to some of us but it does.”

“What do you mean wrong,” asked Cadence.

“Evil, criminally insane, monsters so on and so forth. From the shadows we attempt to strike against those who would or are in the process of harming others. Sometimes we’re too late. Sometimes, like in the case of Crème Snicket, we were right on time.”

“That is the most…”

“Found it,” shouted Twilight Velvet as she ran back to the table and floated the file to Shining Armor.

Shining Armor opened the file and quietly read. Then he gasped, “You mean… he was the Canterlot Capturer? “

“Guards find forty foals found in his basement,” read Cadence as she looked over her husband’s shoulder, “Part of a ritual to revive Grogar.”

“We then donate what’s left to scientific pursuits and other things.”

“This looks very official. Where did you get the file?”

“We keep records and copies of records of what we've done in case questions arise and we think we can talk our way out of it peacefully. Besides dear you’re not the first high profile individual or couple to come in here and discover what’s going on,” said Twilight Velvet, “Suffice it to say though they prefer such things be kept quiet.”

“But, Mom you thought we were going to eat a baby and…”

“Yes, well sometimes foals have accidents, get sick or just fade away and can’t be saved. Over the years it’s become less frequent but, it still happens. Those that aren’t buried properly are … well you know.”

Shining Armor looked down at the table, “So is that what you two were up to in the study and with the meetings?”

“No,” said Night Light. “I didn’t want you in my study because it’s mine. I have my record collection, movie collection and various beverages that I didn’t want you as a foal or teenager getting into. Your mother occasionally lectured on creative writing at one of the universities.”

Shining Armor sat quietly. His eyes fixed on the cutlery all laid out in front of him. He could feel his eyes moisten. “Then why did you send me away if nothing was going on at home,” said Shining Armor his voice cracking a bit.

Twilight Velvet gazed across the table at her son while Night Light looked down. “Well, it made it easier for us to do what we had to do. However, we mainly sent you both away because… we didn’t want to embarrass you.”

“She’s right,” said Night Light, “I mean look at how you reacted to the news as an adult. Now imagine what that would have done to you as a foal if you were there when another found out or discovered it somehow on your own. It would have been awful.”

“We wanted to hold you both so high that you never even had to think about what goes on in the shadows with us. We did what we could and even though it hurt us to see you go… well look at what you and your sister became.”

“We love you two so much and never wanted our issues to hold you back. So we did what we could to keep you away from them. Admittedly it would have been nice to watch you grow up more than we got the chance to do but, that wasn’t how things worked out unfortunately.”

Cadence looked over at Shining Armor as he wiped his eyes. She extended a wing and put it around her husband and whispered, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

Shining Armor nodded and thanked her before looking over at his parents. “I won’t say a word but… if any of this gets out of hoof… if you start making mistakes….”

“We understand,” said Night Light as the bread and water arrived, “Well shall we begin ordering?”

They all agreed and ordered. After a few minutes of idle conversation with a round hors d'oeuvres Twilight Velvet clinked her glass gently. The chit chat stopped and she cleared her throat. "In spite of the rough start to this meal I just wanted to congratulate you both on the start of a new family. I'm so thrilled that it finally happened and can't wait to meet the baby when he or she comes into this world. I can tell you both that it is truly a blessing to have children and it also presents unique challenges that you never expected. However, I know you two will be wonderful parents."

Shining Armor and Cadence smiled. Night Light seconded his wife's sentiments. "She's absolutely right. It is wonderful news. However," said Night Light before taking a sip of water, "we never did find out what it was that was so unfair. So, what was that about?"

"Oh, well I wanted to know what it was she does to relax when I'm not around."

"Well it can't be that big of a deal," said Twilight Velvet, "After she now knows our biggest secret."

Cadence shrugged. "It's not as big as that. It's just something I enjoy."

"Well then what is it?"

"I just like to read and write fan fiction of Cherry Pitter. That's all. No big deal. I mean it's a really really good series and all."

Twilight Velvet blinked, "The book series about the pony who goes to wizard school and winds up in a love triangle with a changeling and a frost dragon who also likes to negotiate everything until it's just so?"

"Yes," said Cadence beaming, "You should check it out if you haven't read it and some of the fan stories too being an author and all. For example, my latest one is called The Propeller Hat's Love. Snarl the dragon gets put under a spell by the hat a only the passion of Professor Snake can save him!"

Twilight Velvet glanced at Shining Armor and Night Light to see if either of them had something to say. However, Night Light had decided it was time to cram an entire piece of bread into his mouth and merely nodded along to what Cadence had said. Shining Armor meanwhile looked at his wife in disbelief before he averted his gaze and stared at his plate. Twilight Velvet smiled politely and responded with, "Well dear... as long as you like it that's what matters," before changing the subject to that of how Cadence planned to decorate the nursery.