Why Am I A Dog?

by Sun Aura

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Slice of Life, Equestria Girls, Spike (EqG)
Length: 2082

Spike asks an important question.

While spending the day at Sunset's house, Spike asks her and Twilight a question that's been bothering him. "Why is he a dog?". Is he just 'a talking dog' or 'human-level intelligent'?
The answer leads to more questions. Of course, they now have to decide what exactly to do with that information.

Part of the Cornerverse-MLP Universe.

Published 2017-03-28 16:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-28 16:30:01 UTC

Chapter 1

It was a quiet day for Sunset Shimmer. Well, as quiet a day as she got. Which meant she and Twilight, the human one, were hanging out at her house. They spent most of the day working on a powerpoint presentation for the next week’s school assembly while Twilight's dog, Spike and Sunset's dog, Rhea, slept on opposite ends of the couch. However, Spike wasn’t asleep now.

“Why am I a dog?” Spike asked.

“Getting existential on us, are you?” Sunset laughed.

“No, I’m being serious,” he said. “Why am I a dog?”

“The same reason I’m human?” Twilight offered.

“Okay, but isn’t the me in the other world a Dragon?” he asked.

“That’s what other-me said,” she replied.

“And aren’t your Dragons a sapient species?” he continued.

“Yeah,” Sunset agreed, sitting upright. “Dragons are just as intelligent as Ponies are, unless they’re Berserk. But Equestrian Law does recognize them as equals, even though some ponies overlook that bit of law.”

“So if our worlds match, why am I a dog?” he asked. “Or at least why am I not treated like a ‘person’ here?”

“Some differences?” Twilight guessed.

“Spike,” Sunset said, ignoring Twilight’s guess, “how smart are you?”

“I haven’t gone to school, other than what Twilight snuck me into,” he said. “But I can read and do math.”

“When’d you learn that?” Twilight asked.

“Well I needed something to do when I was alone,” he pouted. “By the way, reading books is really difficult with paws. Working your laptop is easier.”

“That explains the anomalies in my search history,” she sighed. “I thought Shining was using my laptop. But that was before you could talk?”

“So?” he asked.

“Most dogs can’t read or do math,” Sunset answered. “At least not on a level to be able to understand whatever books Twilight would have.”

“I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or worse,” he said. “But it makes sense. Have you ever talked to another dog?”

“Ask Fluttershy?” both girls replied.

“Fair enough,” he said. “But they’re pretty dumb?”

“Rude,” Twilight scolded.

“He does have a point,” Sunset said.

“Sunset,” Twilight warned.

“Okay, it’s still rude,” she agreed. “But we’re theorizing over whether or not your dog has actually been human-level intelligent this whole time, and hypothetically if that means we should consider him a person from now on?”

“I-fair enough,” she relented. “Now I feel bad for treating him like a dog.”

“I’m guessing dogs are dumb in your world too?” Spike said.

“Pretty much,” Sunset said, reaching over to pet Rhea. “Most dogs are like Rhea, except for Diamond Dogs which are Sapient but look like giant dogs. Some of our animals are more intelligent, like our cows can talk, but they’re not human-level intelligent. They can communicate needs in a common tongue, and have figured out some things like ‘giving money means receiving food’ but they’re still animals that work on instinct. To continue with the cow example, they still do things like get spooked and stampede and wreck a town. And they figured out the money thing, but they can’t calculate exact change.”

“So it’s a matter of if he has a dog’s instincts or not?” Twilight asked.

“A bit more complicated,” she sighed. “We’d have to separate instinct from what he’s learned to do because ‘he’s a dog and was trained to be a dog’.”

“I assume using the yard as a bathroom is a ‘learned’ thing,” Spike chuckled.

“You had to go there,” Twilight sighed.

“Exactly!” he laughed harder.

“Let’s start here,” Sunset said. “The whole chasing squirrels thing. Do you know why you do it?”

“It’s fun?” he answered. “Humans play tag and run around playing sports.”

“That’s not how most dogs see it,” Twilight frowned. “Chasing squirrels is an old instinct from back when dogs were wild and had to hunt.”

“Okay, well I’ve never wanted to eat a squirrel,” he said. “Just chase it around. Wow, now I feel like a dick. Poor squirrels probably thought I wanted to eat them.”

“That gives a point to human-intelligence,” Sunset said. “You know, I think I know an old spell that could help.”

“There’s a spell for everything, isn’t there?” Twilight rubbed her face underneath her glasses.

“Not everything, but pretty close,” she said. “The spell was made years ago to determine which creatures were fully intelligent and which could just talk. It’s mostly been used to test if someone was cursed to turn into an animal, but I think it’ll work here well enough.”

“Well, pony up and try it out then!” Spike said.

Sunset reached within for her magic. In a flash of orange, she felt the magic flowing through her as it once did so many years ago. While she still didn’t know why their transformations had added horns recently, she was glad to have one again.

Her magic focused in her horn, and the orange aura surrounded Spike. After a few minutes of concentration, the magic burst into small fireworks. She dropped the magic, more confused than before.

“So, what did that mean?” Twilight asked.

“Good news, he’s a person,” Sunset answered. “Well, ‘has human-like intelligence’. Bad news is that now he gets to relearn how to exist while also not getting treated like a person because he’s a dog.”

“Couldn’t you just magic me into a human?” Spike asked.

Both girls stared at him. Then they stared at each other, and back to him.

“We could,” Sunset mused. “I know a few transformation spells. The trick would be getting the transformation to stick, since most are meant to be temporary.”

“Are we seriously considering this?” Twilight asked.

“To be fair,” she said, “he really should be treated as a person since he’s smart enough to be one. And that’s not going to happen as a dog. Hell, even I got a few comments questioning my intelligence as a Pony from the CHS students.”

“Fine,” Twilight agreed. “But only if it’s permanent. And doesn’t effect the other world’s Spike.”

“I can’t promise that second part,” Sunset said. “It seems like the Portal does what it wants when it comes to transforming us. I thought it’d just put us in a replica body of our counterparts, but considering you and Princess Twilight, it seems to only use a base template.”

“What differences?” she asked.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” she warned. “But you’re a few inches shorter and a little chubbier than she is.”

Twilight blushed, subconsciously folding her arms over her stomach.

“It’s not a bad thing!” Sunset insisted. “She got a growth spurt because she became an Alicorn, and she’s also more active than you are, and she uses magic constantly. It burns a lot of calories.”

“Thanks,” she said, despite her frown still there.

“Let’s get back to the matter at hand!” Sunset desperately tried to change the subject. “I think if the two of us work together we could manage to make a permanent transformation spell. But we need an extra kick.”

“Maybe we should call the girls?” Spike suggested.

“No, this is a Unicorn Spell,” Sunset said. “Rarity’s the only other Unicorn, and while she has a decent amount of power, she doesn’t have as much talent in the spellcasting department. I’ve studied spells for years, and Twilight’s quick to catch on, so it should be good.”

“So no extra kick then?” Twilight asked.

“No, I know exactly where to get an extra kick!” she said.

With that she ran upstairs. Rummaging around, she found a small jar of paint and a paintbrush. Leftovers from some sort of school project a few months back.

Running back down, she cleared a space in the kitchen and began painting symbols on the floor.

“Please tell me we’re not summoning a demon,” Spike said, poking a paw at the paint.

“As fun as that sounds, no,” Sunset answered, waving his paw away from the symbols. “These are Guardian Symbols, another branch of magic. They’re usually used for long-term enchantments, but sometimes Unicorns will use them when casting connected spells.”

“Connected spells?” Twilight asked.

“When two or more Unicorns combine their magic to cast the same spell,” she said, moving Rhea's nose away from the paint now. “The Symbols draw in magic from the world around it and act as another Caster. Of course it’s only as powerful as the place you’re using the Symbols. Stars if we were in Everfree, Equestria’s Everfree, this would probably count as maybe two extra Casters!”

“If you ever let me go to Equestria, we have to try that,” she said. “Just to test it out. For scientific research.”

Sunset stood up and looked at her work. She hadn’t used Guardian Symbols since before she left Equestria, but she was sure her translations were accurate.

“Okay Spike,” Sunset said. “Stand in the center of the circle and we’ll get this going!”

“One question,” Spike said. “Does this spell include pants?”

“No idea,” she said. “You can borrow a pair of mine if it doesn’t and I’ll get you your own later. Twilight, I need you for the spell.”

With little hesitation, Twilight let herself Pony Up. Sunset began the spell, Twilight’s magic quickly following suit. The Guardian Symbols on the floor began to glow with various colors. She watched as the magic wrapped around Spike, enveloping him in a bright light.

As the light died down, she could see the results. Thankfully, the spell did include pants. He looked about as she’d expected he would. He was about the same size as Applebloom, with purple skin and dark green hair. The outfit the magic decided to give him was a light green shirt, a dark purple jacket, and a pair of jeans. The only thing off was his eyes, which looked a bit more like those of his Counterpart. Odd, but nothing to be worried about. No human would question it if they didn’t already know what he was. Rhea, while confused, seemed to recognize him after a sniff and kept wagging her tail.

“Definitely feels weird,” Spike said, attempting to stand up.

“Yeah, you’re going to want to practice walking,” Sunset said. “Take my word as someone who went from Quadraped to Biped as well. You get the hang of it quicker than you’d think. Hands are the real kicker though. So much more useful than hooves.”

“This is really weird,” Twilight reiterated.

“Yeah,” she laughed. “I’d also suggest a basic run-through of things Humans do and maybe an anatomy lesson. And we’ll probably have to tell everyone else. Maybe we could catch you up academically and put you in class. Think you’re up to actually going to school?”

“Once I get the hang of this,” Spike said, his walking a bit more stable. “Get the whole high school experience. How would I tell a girlfriend I used to be a dog?”

Twilight burst out laughing.

“Don’t look at me for the answer,” Sunset laughed. “It might be weird for a human, but in Equestria the rule is ‘if it can consent it’s free game’. He’s on equal intelligence, so if he was a legal age he’d be good for us. Not that he’s my type anyway.”

“I just realized something!” Twilight shouted her eyes going wide. “I just turned my dog into a human and my parents have no idea!”

“Oh,” she said. “Well, if you don’t have room he can stay here for a bit.”

“No, we have a guest room or Shining’s room,” she shook her head. “But, he was a dog. And now he’s a person. Don’t you think they’ll be a little mad I did that on the fly?”

“Yeah, we really should’ve thought this through,” she agreed.

“Eh, they’ll be fine with it,” Spike shrugged. “Dad’ll probably be more upset you didn’t let him go all scientist on us and research the magic than he will be about me being a person now.”

“You have a point,” Twilight sighed.

“Now all we have to do,” Sunset said with a smirk,” is test if that changed anything with the counterpart.”

Twenty minutes later, the three of them stood outside Canterlot High School, listening to an interdimensional dragon scream.

Author's Note

It always bothered me that Spike was a dog in EQG, so I decided to fix it a little. Because wow does it bother me. Seriously just make him CMC age and he could've followed Twilight around like normal ugh!!!!