How The Filthy Became Rich

300 drunken stockbrokers, most in their early 20s, chant wildly as Filthy Rich stands beside a pony who's dressed as a crash test dummy

"Twenty five grand to the first cocksucker to nail a bullseye!" Says Filthy.

The bullseye is a large dollar sign in the middle of a giant velcro dartboard.

"Watch and learn!"

The brokers go crazy as Filthy grabs the crash test pony by his tail and mane. In the crowd, money flies as side bets are made. Filthy winds up, aims for the dartboard.

"One. Two. Throw!!"

The brokers cheer as Filthy hurls the crash test pony at the bullseye.

'My name is Filthy Rich. I'm a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Manehattan.'

'The year I turned 26, I made 49 million bits as the head of my own brokerage firm, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.'

'But hey, it didn't stop me getting this fancy caravan of mine, with a great and strong pulling pony named Carriage Pull.'

Carriage Pull, a strong pegasus stallion, pulling a fancy white and blue horse caravan, he zooms away as Filthy is trying to read the Manehattan Times while getting a blowjob in the back seat of the caravan.

Carriage then descends over a huge mansion, with sparkling pool, tennis court and waterfall.

'That humongous estate down there? That's my house.'

'My wife, Spoiled Milk-Rich, the Duchess of Manehattan, a former model and beer mare.'

'Yeah, she was the one blowing me in the caravan, so put your stallionhood back where it belongs.'

'In addition to Spoiled and my perfect daughter, Diamond Tiara. I own a mansion, private butcher and carriage pony, six carriages, two vacation homes and a 170 foot yacht.'

'I'm going to tell you how I got all of that...'