The school day had snailed it's way up to lunch break, and Sunset Shimmer sat down with her friends at their usual table. It was wednesday, salad wednesday. Food was bland, weather slightly cloudy, and it was still two months left until summer break. It had been a most ordinary and rather boring day and yet Sunset wore a big, hearty smile on her face, to her friends surprise.

“So, Sunset, why the smile?” Rainbow, never the one to hesitate was the first to comment. “It looks like you’ve just heard a really funny joke.”

“Oh!” Sunset hesitated, “Well… uhm… I just saw an odd thing. That’s all, nothing special about that.”

“Well, sugarcube, judging from that smile, if it's that odd ah sure want to hear about it,” Applejack remarked, taking a sip from her glass of water. “It must have been something special.”

“No no, it’s really nothing. It’s just something silly, nothing to talk about really." But if Sunset hoped for her friends to leave the topic, she found her hopes crushed, as Pinkie spoke up.

“Silly? I love silly! Next to cupcakes and squeezing zits, silly is the best!” Pinkie took a bite of her salad, and smiled her patented Pinkie smile.

Rainbow looked at Pinkie, “You don’t have any zits.”

“Nope! My face is soft as a baby’s bottom!”

“So, how would you know about squeezing zits?”

“Oh. Cheese have them all over him. It’s our agreement. He can touch my boobs, I can squeeze his zits.”

Rainbow swallowed, “Ooookay… SO, Sunset! What was so funny?”

Sunset cheeks reddened, and she lowered her eyes. “Well, uhm…” She realised she had to say it but... it was hard.

“What?”

“It’s just… It's so embarrassing.”

“Why darling, you know you can tell us anything. If it’s too bad, you can just whisper it. I assure you we won't spread the word. Whatever it is you did, we will be silent.” Rarity leaned forward, presenting her willing ear to Sunset.

“Besides,” Rainbow added, “It can’t be more gross than Pinkie’s zits.”

Sunset got even redder. “Ehm...”

Rainbow’s eyes got wider. “Seriously? Okay, then I GOT to hear this. What is is? Did you forgot your panties after gym or something?”

Sunset shook her head. "It’s not about me… Or, well, partly, but… I’m not really sure I should talk about it. Sorry girls, I just saw it before lunch, and I... I couldn't help smiling when I saw it.”

Rarity raised a curious eyebrow. “But darling, what’s the problem? I mean, it can’t be that bad?” Then a thought struck her, “unless it is about… us.”

Five pair of eyes turned to Sunset, who still looked away.

“It is about us, isn’t it Darling?” Rarity put a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. Sunset nodded.

“Well, what is it then?”

“It’s just… stupid gossip. Someone, I don’t know who, is scribbling on the walls of the girls bathroom. It’s done with the same green pen, and it’s a new thing almost every week. I noticed the first two months ago. It’s just stupid things, but it’s… I just think it’s funny because it’s so far-fetched.”

“Well, what does it say then? Spill it, girl!” Rainbow threw her arms in the air in frustration.

Sunset frowned, and spoke reluctantly, “It just says things like… ‘Pinkie has a vibrator in school’, ‘If you want a good time, call Rarity on 5755-321743’, ‘Rainbow Dash is a sub’ and ‘Fluttershy takes it up the butt’. I mean… It's funny if one knows that you’d never…” Sunset noticed how the eyes of her friends, with the exception of Pinkie who smiled even wider, looked in every direction except on her. “Guys?”

Fluttershy blushed, but she still was the first to speak, “Well...uhm… I actually do that. Like anal sex, I mean. I like anal sex.”

“What?”

“Yes… I tried it some month ago and... I actually… have a hard time nowadays to reach orgasm without a dick up my butt.”

Sunset stared at her. “But… you don’t have a boyfriend.”

Fluttershy lowered her eyebrows. “Are you saying you need a boyfriend to enjoy sex, Sunset?”

Sunset waived her hands reassuringly. “No, no! Of course not, I if anyone know that. But… Well, anal sex just feels like something you don’t do on the first date.”

Fluttershy relaxed. “Oh. No, I agree. I usually wait ‘til the third.”

“But, how…”

“Friends with benefits. Lots of them. But I won't mention any names, I hope you understand.”

Sunset blinked. “Oh, eh… Of course I understand. But… so...yes... Rarity?”

Rarity’s red cheeks stood out a great deal from her white skin. But she tried to keep a steady voice. “Well, darling… No good reason to deny it, I guess. But it’s nothing big, really. They call, I come over, everyone is happy.”

Sunset stared with her mouth open. “But… but… Why?”

“Sewing needles are expensive. And it’s nice to feel appreciated. My phone rings more or less every day.”

“Ooo...kay… but... you realise it is illegal in Canterlot, right?"

Rarity looked at her. "Illegal? What do you mean? Sure, not everyone likes to be public about it, but it's not against any laws!"

Sunset gaped. Then she said slowly, "Rarity... I can't believe you can be so casual about selling your body to men..."

Now it was Raritys turn to gape at Sunset, she rose from her seat and exclaimed, "Wu... wha... Sunset! I am not a prostitute! I sell sex toys!"

"SE... sex toys? But... but... 'they call, you come over?" Now Rarity looked away, seemingly a bit ashamed for her outburst.

"Ehrm... now that you say it dear, perhaps I choose a somewhat ambiguous expression. But I assure you it's nothing fishy. I do personal delivery and I help with... eh... colors and fittings."

Unsure how to proceed with this information, the table was silent until Pinkie stood up and started to wave her hand. “Oh, me! Me! Me next! Pick me!”

Sunset sighed. “Ok… So, Pinkie? The vibrator?”

Pinkie grinned. “Yeppers peppers! I have it in me right now!”

“In… you? You mean…?”

“Yep! Right up my little girly cave!”

Now it was Rainbow who spoke. “Little… girly cave?”

“Yep, that’s what mum calls it! Usually I just keep it in there, but if the lessons are boring, I turn it on. I came three times on mr Cranky’s lesson yesterday!”

Sunset facepalmed. “Pinkie…”

“What? It was really boring!”

“Okay, Okay… Moving on. Rainbow?” But Rainbow Dash was silent. And then, a large, muscular man moved up behind her.

“Hullo Girls, AJ.”

“Hi, Big Mac.”

To everyone's surprise, he leaned over and placed a hand on Rainbows leg. “How’s Mah little pet doin’?” Rainbow muttered something. “Ah didn't hear ya…”

A slightly louder, “I’m good, master,” came over her lips. Big Mac smiled a slightly wicked smile.

“Good. Wouldn't wanna be havin' to punish ya for misbehavin’. That would be bad, wouldn't it, pet?” Rainbow bit her lip. “Mhm.” He removed his hand, and turned to walk away. “See ya saturday then, pet. After school, AJ. See y’all later, girls.”

The silence was thicker than oil now. AJ had her eyes nailed to Rainbow. “So… when were ya goin’ to tell me about yer screwing mah brother?”

“And more important, what do you see in him?” Rarity added.

Rainbow smiled slightly. “Well… you know. A farmboy can use a shovel in a way that a girl loves.”

Even Applejack was stunned after that. After more than ten minutes of silence, Sunset spoke. “Well.. That sure was something. I was wondering who’s behind all this, but it doesn't feel that important right now. So… Thanks everybody for sharing? I’m not sure if I should be grateful or call TMI, but… thank you for being honest.”

“Oh, and also girls, since the cat is out, just give me a call and I'll send my catalogue over." She paused. "Oh, but Sunset, dear! We all have been... except one, darling.” Rarity had regained some of her composure, and looked at Sunset.

“What?”

“You. There has to be something about you. And Applejack!”

"Nah. We already know she's butch," Rainbow butted in, and Applejack glared at her. But Sunset looked away and was silent long enough for Pinkie to finish her salad and everyone's pudding. (Avocado.) "...Yeah. But it’s the only thing that isn’t true. And that was the first thing I read, and because it wasn't true, I thought your’s… well.” Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Darling, we’ve all had some rather… personal things spilled out. So just say it. Honestly, you should be glad it’s not true.”

Sunset gave a small smile. “Yeah, perhaps. Well, it said ‘Sunset is a screamer’. And...‘Applejack eats Sunset’s pussy in the showers’. And that has not happend!"

All the eyes around the table turned to Applejack, who had pulled her hat over her eyes, and sat in silence, apparently deep in thought. Then she rose, and took Sunset’s hand, and dragged her from the table. Sunset protested, “What are you doing, AJ?”

“Ah need to think of mah reputation. Honesty, y’all know. And ah’m gonna make an honest woman out of you.” Sunset stopped.

"Oh. Well um... Ok, I guess but... I’m not a screamer!”

Applejack pulled her closer and whispered. “Yer will be.”

And then they were gone.

***

In the girls bathroom, the janitor mr Discord was busy cleaning the floors. Suddenly he looked around, checking that he was alone. Then he produced a green pen from his pocket, and wrote “CRANKY DOODLE HAS A PRINCE ALBERT” on the wall.
“Oh, Matilda will be sooo grateful for this,” he chuckled to himself.

Author's Note

Just a doodle, nothing serious. Somewhat inspired by Mytrilmoth's Just girls talking dirty, but mostly just something that was done in under three hours.

I still regret nothing, though. Ok, one thing. But it's done now.