Author's Note

By chance I re-read this story and just had this idea. And well... now you know about mostly everything. Although I ended up regretting something... I regret nothing, again.
Thanks to Mustlovefrogs for input.

Epilogue: Celestia and Discord...

"YOU DIRTY, FILTHY OLD JERK!"

The door to the janitors office was kicked open by the shapely legs of a very, VERY angry principal. Celestia proceeded to step inside, slam her fists onto the desk and glared at the Janitor while she leaned forward. The door slammed shut behind her, creating a gush of wind that gave her hair an extra threathening flow.

Mr. Discord looked up from the crossword in The Trottingham Times. If he in anyway was affected by the entrance and angry demeanor from the intruder, he didn't show it. Instead, he neatly folded the newspaper and took of his glasses. That made Celestia even angrier, and she was tempted to try if she actually could punch through the table.

"I must say, Principal, that it seems like you are a tad bit upset! You need to calm down, you might burst a vein like that. A drink perhaps to calm you down!? Coffee? Tea? GinandTonic? Seaweed smoothie? Great detox! And I must say you look lovely today!"
It was merely weeks before summer break and the two sisters had for once skipped their usual pants and had went for light summer dresses. Celestia stood in front of Discord wearing an orange and yellow dress with bare shoulders, and she bitterly regretted that she had choosen to wear something oh-so-NOT-intimidating.

"Shut up, Discord. I am not in the mood. Now you listen. This business about the pen has gone to far. No, don't say anything. It was all fun and games at the start. And yes, I did choose to... borrow it a few times. But even a principal gets to let her hair loose from time to time. Now..."

"I must say that your hair looks pretty floating all the time, my dear principal."

"I said SHUT UP! It did a few good things too, it managed to give one or two people a push in the right direction. 'Sweetie and Silver XOXOXO', 'Pink clothes doesn't suit Glitter Shell', 'No more Stairway to heaven for Flash Sentry'... Those were good. But now..." Celestia leaned in closer and whispered, "You had to make it personal, didn't you, you asshole. You just had to take advantage of this. Bastard!" Celestia spit out the last word, and it almost landed right on mr. Discords nose. He furrowed his brow, but was still as calm as before.

"Advantage, you say? Why, are you accusing ME..."

"Who else would get the idea to write 'Discord and Celly swims in a pool full of Jelly?"

Discord stared at her for a moment. And then he started to laugh. Celestia frowned. "It is not funny!" She muttered through her teeth.

"Oh, but my dear Celestia, it is! We have been had! Because as marvellously chaotic it is, I had no hand in it. Someone else took the pen and used it against us."

"I don't believe you! It's perfectly your style!"

"Now now, my dear Celly, with that lame rhyme? Even if Jelly is fun, I wouldn't dream about putting you in that kind of position! I like you! Compared to a heck lot of your predecessors, you are sooo much more FUN!" Then he paused to think, "And besides, where would you find a pool of Jelly? For real?"

"In my backyard."

"...Come again?"

"It was written on the wall with this pencil. It had to happen, right? So I thought, 'better get it over with'. It took the whole day, but it's done."

Once again Discord laughed, this time so hard that tears began to flow. "Ce...celly...oh I can't breathe... I can't breathe... you... you really did..."

Celestia still leaned forward, but her face was now confused. "What? What 'i really did' ?""

Discord blew his nose. "Thing is, the pen... the pen does not force you to do anything. Sure, it's a magic green pen. But the magic comes when people read about themselves... And then they start to think. And when they start to think, really think, really re-evaluate their whole existence... that is where the lovely chaos begins!"

"You used it to pull of lame sexjokes!"

"I am a dirty old man, Celly. I have to have some fun! To see people break their shells, try something they haven't dared before... it's hilarious! But the thing is, no one is forced to do anything. Strong minded people can avoid it." He paused. "Tragically, that means we will never see Miss Harshwhinny arrive early on thursdays to use her pink rabbit before class. Also, I don't understand what Cherrilee has against dogging."

Celestia blinked, and took a step back. "Not... forced?"

"Not forced at all. So apparently you want us to swim in Jelly. Which is fine by me by the way, I would LOVE to cover my body in thick sugary mass as long as I get to use conditioner on my beard. What taste is it? Blueberry?"

Celestia stared at her hands. Then she said, "Discord, if you thought it would stop me being angry with you... You are VERY wrong! I'm not only angry, I am disappointed! Very disappointed!"

"Disappointed? ...Alright, you... How so?"

"Because everyone else got something sexy and hot! Cranky had a Prince Albert, miss Inkwell started wearing a thong in class, the lunchlady have learned to use Tinder, and I swear that when I last saw Cinch, she wore a dogcollar engraved with 'cumslut'! And all I got was some damn jelly!... Also, it's strawberry."

Discord looked at her with honest curiosity. "So... what do you want?

Celestia sighed. "Something. Anything! I just want to get laid! I want to find a decent guy who knows what he's doing and can keep it up! And not some... bluehaired kid with a scar who just stares at my tits and comes before he's out of his pants! I want to drag that guy home and just let him make me orgasm myself through the rest of the day and scream his name and other random profanities without a care about our neighbours!"

"Oh. Well... I have nothing special to do today..."

Celestia looked at Discord from top to bottom and up again. She still wasn't convinced that he wasn't behind it. Weirder plans had been concieved, especially by him. And yet...

"I can do 84 pusch-ups. And I have yet to try to actually do the deed in a pool of Jelly. I ALSO wear a rather tight pair of Ralph Lauren briefs today that my tailor swore is very flattering. Wanna see them?"

Celesta pinched her nose and muttered "you dirty old man", but nevertheless did she grab his arm and pulled him out of the office. "It's not like I'm wearing panties anyway. The safeword is 'pastry'"

As they left, three people emerged from the shadows. Vice principal Luna, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle stood and looked after the pair as they walked down the corridor, turned a corner and left. They high-fived each other, and Twilight produced the green pen from her backpack, giving it over to the VP. Then they went their separate ways, Luna hiding the pen somewhere neither Discord nor Celestia could find it.

But one last thing was written on the wall before that.

"Vice Principal Luna has the hottest butt in the school."

And it didn't matter whether the pen had magic or not, because that statement was indeed true.