Peephole

by 2Merr

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Changelings, Anon, Second Person, Comedy, Random, Profanity, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1323

Anon finds a hole in the wall of his apartment. When he looks through, he finds a bone-white changeling sleeping in the next room. Instead of calling the guards, he decides to strike up a conversation.

Anon finds a hole in the wall of his apartment. When he looks through, he finds a bone-white changeling sleeping in the next room. Instead of calling the guards, he decides to strike up a conversation.

I regret nothing.

Published 2017-03-31 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-31 22:00:01 UTC

Peephole

Is it alive? You can't tell if it's breathing. Do changelings even need to breathe? You've never seen a changeling before, but from what you've heard, they look like a terrifying fusion of pony, Swiss cheese, and insect; with black chitin and legs that are more hole than leg. The creature on the other side of the wall is certainly bug-like, but it has light pink wings and a stark white exoskeleton. Not exactly terrifying, but ponies are afraid of anything that isn't a pony. Fucking racists.

Your musings are interrupted by the sound of your front door being opened. It seems your roommate is back from his job at the smile clinic or some pony bullshit. You briefly consider covering the hole and keeping the changeling a secret, but then you remember your roommate is nosy as hell. You can probably convince him to stay quiet if you show him now instead of waiting for him to inevitably find it on his own.

"Roommate! Come see this," you whisper-yell at the dark gray unicorn.

"That's not my name," Roommate sighs. "What are you trying to show me?"

"I found a hole in the wall and there's-"

"Why did you poke a hole in the wall?" Roommate interrupts.

"Fuck you, the hole was already there. I found it when I moved my dresser," you lie.

"You're lying."

"Get out of my head, Charles!" you scream, covering your ears in the vain hope of blocking his invasive magic.

"For the last time, I don't know any telepathy magic. You're just an idiot. And my name isn't Room-"

"Shush, Roommate!" you shush your roommate. "You'll wake it up."

"Mmfrggrrmr," you hear a faint voice groan through the wall.

"Nice job, Roommate. You're making us look like terrible neighbors," you scold the unneighborly pony.

Roommate doesn't say anything, undoubtedly feeling ashamed of his rude behavior. Instead, he steps towards the wall and presses the right side of his massive pony skull against the hole. A few seconds pass before he jumps back and attempts to faint and scream at the same time. He fails miserably, only managing to produce a wet gurgle as he hit the floor. Roommate was never any good at multitasking.

"Hm? Oh, no! Umm... uhh... P-Please don't call the guards! I'm not hurting anyone, I swear!" the peephole pleas in a raspy, male-sounding voice.

You peer through the hole again to see the changeling's eye just inches from your own.

"Hi there, I'm Anon," you introduce yourself. "What's your name?"

The changeling seems surprised by your lack of guard-calling, and slowly relaxes enough to answer.

"I don't have a name..." he admits warily.

"What? That's preposterous," you declare, happy that you finally got to use 'preposterous' in a sentence.

"I'm a changeling. We don't normally use names," he explains.

You should probably ask about the way they tell each other apart, but there are far more pressing questions on your mind.

"Why are you white? I thought changelings were supposed to be black," you ask with no regard for social etiquette.

The changeling takes a minute to think before answering.

"I'm an albino. For most species, that just means an absence of color. For changelings, it also means an absence of magic. I can't change forms without magic, so I'm not very good at gathering love. That's why albino changelings are killed. I was lucky to escape before they found me." The little bug-pony looks close to tears.

"Well, I think you're pretty cool, so they can go fuck themselves. And if you can't change forms or do magic, then I doubt the Princesses will think you're a threat. Hell, Celestia lets me walk around freely, so I bet you'd be fine too. Just let me talk to her and I promise you can walk around freely." Aside from the constant stares and ponies fainting in fear. "First things first, though. You need a name. I'm gonna call you Peephole."

"Peephole," says Peephole, doing his best Pokemon impression. "I like it. Do you.. really think they'll like me?"

"Oh, no. Most of them will probably hate you or fear you, but ponies are racist as hell, so that's pretty standard for any non-pony species. I've only met a few ponies that aren't terrified of me, and one of them fainted at the mere sight of you. So, no they won't like you," you say comfortingly.

"Oh..."

"Don't worry, I'm sure Roommate will love you once he gets to know you." The unicorn in question starts to stir. "In fact, he's waking up now. You should come over to our room so he can properly meet you."

"Um, are you sure? I might be seen." You can hear the slight tremor in his voice.

"Don't worry about it. If anyone sees you, they'll probably just faint before they can call for any guards," you say in a manner that is somehow even more comforting than before. "Besides, we're just one room over."

"Okay, if you say so." The eye disappears from sight and you can hear Peephole walking away.

"Sorry about earlier. I was just surprised to see a changeling in Canterlot. So... is your name actually Peephole?" Rudemate questions rudely.

"Yep!" Peephole chirped from his spot underneath the windowsill in my room. "Anon named me!"

"That's a terr-"

"-ific name, I know. I'm pretty much the best at names," you humbly state. You can feel Rollmate rolling his eyes beside you.

"Ignoring that. Do the hives really kill any albino changelings just because they lack magic? That's monstrous, even for them! Er- no offense," Roommate says offensively.

"Yeah, in fact, I'm hiding from ponies because I thought I'd either be killed here or sent back to the hives and killed anyway," Peephole sadly admits.

You tune the rest of their conversation out. Something Roommate said got you thinking. Unicorns have magic - obviously. Pegasi have magic for standing on clouds and doing weather shit. Earth ponies. What the fuck do they even do? Seriously, farming can't be that hard. Unicorns can probably do it more efficiently with just a few spells. Earth ponies are holding back society because they don't have magic. Less ponies would mean less resources needed overall. Equestria can be made exponentially more productive if earth ponies are removed from the equation.

"Anon, are you listening?" Roommate waves a hoof in front of your eyes.

"It needs to look like an accident. A really big accident. I have to tell Celestia," you mutter.

"Close enough. Peephole, you wait here. We'll go talk to Princess Celestia and convince her that you're not dangerous. Hopefully, we can also get her to address the issue of albino changelings being murdered. That needs to be stopped. Somehow."

"Thank you both so much. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I thought changelings like me shouldn't exist. I had almost given up on having a future," Peephole whispers through barely-contained tears.

"Of course you deserve to exist!" you chime in. "Besides, you're not just any changeling. You're our changeling - our Peephole."

Peephole is openly bawling now. You decide it's best to leave while he's distracted. You don't want him to hug you or anything. That shit's gay.

Roommate catches up with you as you open the door to a world of wonders.

"Why do you always act like you've never been outside before?" Roommate sighs.

"Don't ruin this for me."

"We need to hurry, day court is ending in a couple of hours," Rushmate calls behind him as he rushes ahead on his stumpy pony legs. "Do you even know what to say?"

"No clue." You shake your head as you briskly walk to keep up with his pathetic stride. "But one thing is certain."

Roommate tilts his ears back at you inquisitively.

"We must secure the existence of our Peephole and a future for white changelings."