Rarity F%$#ing LOVES Pink Cocaine
The moon sits high over the quiet town of Ponyville. All is quiet. All is calm. Fillies and colts lie sleeping in their beds, dreaming of the games they'd play the next day with their friends. Dough rises in Sugarcube Corner, ready to be popped into the oven as soon as the sun breaks over the far-away horizon. The sleepy little town relish's it's well earned moment of peace from the day's previous toils.
Except for Rarity, who's doin' a sick-ass line in her workroom. The white unicorn exhales in ecstasy, her eyes rolling to the ceiling. She feels her body become weightless for a moment, then pulses with energy.
"Ooooh!" The unicorn moans to herself, "That was just what mama needed."
Then, her horn glows and lifts a pencil with her to examine the parchment in front of her. It may be two in the morning, but Rarity's muse waits for nopony. Not even Rarity. She studies the patterns of sequins that were hastily drawn against the outline of the dress. Her eyes move to the mannequin in front of her, then back down to the blue print.
"Garbage. This is garbage," she shouts to nopony in particular. She crumples the imaginary dress and then tosses it into the trashcan behind her, filled with other failed concepts. With another flurry of magic, she takes another piece of paper from across the room and places it in front of her.
Just then, there's a tiny patter of knocks against her workroom door. Rarity's head jerks quickly to the noise, her attention hyper focused on the tiny distraction. Her hooves scurry across the floor in a speed that would make Pinkie Pie feel proud.
She tosses the door open with more force than necessary, and standing on the other side is her sleepy-eyed sister, Sweetie Belle.
"Sweetie Belle, what have I told you about disturbing me while I'm in the middle of my work?!" Rarity growls. "I'm very busy."
"Yeah," the younger sister retorts, her ears turned down and brow furrowed. "And I'm busy too. Trying to sleep. You keep making weird noises and shouting in here like with Big Mac visits Cheerilee during recess. Can you please keep it down in here?"
Just then, Rarity's left eye twitches and her head snaps up.
"Gems. Of course," she says, breaking away from her sister and returning to the new blueprint. The pencil scratches furiously as her little sister stands in the doorway of Rarity's workroom, staring at the fashionista incredulously.
"Rarity! I was talking to you!" Sweetie Belle shouts, her voice cracking as she walks through the door.
But her sister might as well been a million miles away. She poured herself into her work, shaping a new dress into existence on the paper in front of her. Sweetie Belle gritted her teeth and stomped toward her sister. Then Rarity spins on a dime, and slams her head on the table behind her.
Sweetie Belle pauses in pure shock.
"Uh, Rarity. If you need to facehoof... most ponies use... uh. Their hoof."
Then, Rarity inhales deeply and moves her head across the table.
"OH MY CELESTIA, THAT'S THE STUFF," the older sister screams.
Sweetie Belle's eyes naturally move down to a few small lines of pink powder that lie on the table that Rarity slammed her face onto.
"Rarity. What in the world is that stuff?" she asks.
The element of harmony's attention suddenly refocuses on her little sister.
"SWEETIE!" she exclaims. "I thought you went back to bed!"
The filly takes a step back in confusion.
"Uh. No."
"Well, do that. Your sister is busy. And you probably have school tomorrow. Or something. Go to bed."
"It's Friday. Well, actually. Saturday now, but that's not the point. You're being loud. Stop that. Stop doing the thing that makes you loud."
"Yeah, sure. Go to bed," Rarity says, looking back down to her artistry.
Shaking her head, Sweetie Belle leaves the room and closes the door behind her. But a million questions run through her mind. What in the world was that pink stuff that Rarity was sniffing. Was it that 'smelling salts' thing that she heard about at the spa her sister goes to? If that's what happens to a pony who breathes smelling salts, then that's totally not okay.
"If I'm not going to get any sleep around here, then I'm going to get to the bottom of what this pink stuff is."
The sun was high in the sky as Sweetie Belle approached Twilight's castle with deep dark circles under her eyes. She knocked angrily on the doors of the mighty doors of the castle, and tapped a hoof as she waited for answer. A squeaky voice scratched at Sweetie Belle's eardrums as she heard 'Coming!' called from behind those doors. A door open wide, and on the other side stood a tiny, purple baby dragon.
"Oh! Heya, Sweetie Belle. You look awful. What can I-"
"I need to talk to Twilight," she says in an irritated voice. "Is she around?"
"Yeah, sure. She's up in the library, let me go-"
The filly pushed past Spike and began to trot towards the Library. The dragon watched the filly curiously as he closed the door behind her and followed the filly. The two navigated the halls and corridors, and Spike only had to correct Sweetie's path once, which she barked back that she 'knew it was a right turn.' Lucky for the dragon, he learned long ago not to get in the way of an angry mare. But that's a different story.
Sweetie Belle stepped into the Library where Princess Twilight was smiling to herself, reading some book that had words in it, as books tend to do. The Princess looked up from her studies and set her focus on the filly.
"Hey there, Sweetie Belle! What can I do for you?"
"Twilight, I need you to talk to my sister," Sweetie says grumpily, stopping in front of the alicorn princess. "She's doing that thing where she's even more annoying than normal."
"Oh Sweetie. We've talked about this. Rarity just gets like this whenever she has a crush," Twilight begins to say, her eyes moving back to the book in front of her. "It'll go away after a few days."
"No, it's not that. She's not showing any of those signs. She keeps sniffing these long lines of pink dust and saying weird words."
Twilight pauses, looking back to the filly.
"Wait, what did you say? Pink dust?" Twilight asks.
"Yeah. It's this weird pink dust stuff I've never seen before."
Twilight looks back to Spike, who stands beside the younger sister of his crush.
"Uh, Spike, can you leave us alone for a moment?" she asks.
The baby dragon nods, and it isn't until he's waddled completely out of earshot that Twilight speaks again.
"Can you tell me more about what's going on, Sweetie Belle?"
"Yeah," the filly says impatiently. "She stays up really weird hours and then just gets... REALLY focused. I mean, super focused. She just keeps making dress idea after dress idea. I haven't seen her actually make anything. But I just want her to stop shouting so loudly so I can get some sleep!"
"I see," Twilight says, her eyes moving to the floor. "How long has this been happening?"
"About a week," Sweetie says. "I know she's trying to get some things done for a fashion show next week, but this is extreme. Even for her."
"Sweetie Belle, I think this could be something very, very serious. Have you heard of something called Cocaine in school?"
"No?" Sweetie says, her head tilting.
"That's probably good," Twilight continues. "It's an illegal substance in Equestria. It's a very addictive substance that gives the user a strong burst of energy and... well that's not the point. I'm worried your sister found some and has been using it."
"Well then let's flush it down the toilet or something," Sweetie Belle says. "Or burn it. I dunno. No Cocaine. No problem, right?"
"I don't think it's that simple," Twilight continues. "Come with me, and let's round up our friends. We're going to take some drastic action to end this today. We're going to have an intervention."
The sun is just setting beyond the horizon as Rarity trots back to her home, a bag of groceries in her magical grasp. She trots up to her door, opens it wide, steps inside, then flips on the light.
She pauses, as she sees her friends inside. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all stand in a line, a large banner over their heads with the word 'Intervention' crudely painted on it.
"What?" Rarity asks, dropping the groceries on the floor.
"Rarity," Twilight says, "This is an intervention. Would you please sit down?"
"An intervention?" Rarity asks. "But whatever for?"
"Please just sit down, Rarity. This is just as hard on us as it will be on you," Rainbow pipes up.
"W-we're not trying to be mean," Fluttershy says. "I-it's just tough love. We care about you."
Rarity moves forward apprehensively, then sits down in a folding chair that Twilight beckons her to.
"We know about the crack, Rare," Applejack says in her southern accent. "And this nonsense has to stop. Today."
Rarity's eyes grow wide.
"How did you find out?" she asks.
"Sweetie Belle came to talk to me," Twilight said. "And frankly, I'm disappointed. You weren't just being irresponsible, but then it leaked to being a terrible influence on your sister. Did you even realize that I would have to explain to her what drugs are?"
"What are drugs?" Apple Bloom asks.
"Not now, Apple Bloom," Applejack says, placing a hoof over her sister's mouth.
Rarity's eyes move back to Sweetie Belle's.
"You saw..."
"Yeah, I saw you completely passed out this morning in your workroom when I woke up," Sweetie Belle added. "And then you didn't even remember it."
"It's pretty clear you're developing a problem," Twilight says. "And we're here to stop it. Today. Sweetie Belle, can you please read your speech?"
Sweetie turned her head to Twilight.
"My speech? But you wrote it..."
"Read the speech, Sweetie Belle," Twilight says, this time with more force.
The little filly stepped forward then levitated a small piece of paper in front of her. She cleared her throat then took a deep breath.
"Dear Rarity, Thank you for giving me the chance to talk to you today. There are so many things that I want to say to you and share with you but it basically comes down to this: I’m worried about your current drug use, and it’s time to seek treatment."
Sweetie Belle cleared her throat before moving on.
"Before you began using, you were the best sister ever. We used to go on walks. See movies. Talk about our day. And-- Twilight. This speech is terrible."
"Just read it, Sweetie Belle," Twilight said.
"No, this isn't even true though."
Twilight glared at Rarity's little sister before she continued.
"And... I guess. Sometimes we'd hug. You're," she sighs to herself. "My best friend. But after this whole week of using drugs, I don't see that pony anymore. Mostly because I'm too tired. This is stupid. Listen. I love you. And I want you to get help for your problem. If you don't I'm moving back to Mom and Dad."
Sweetie Belle scurries back to the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders as Twilight steps forward.
"Girls, I..." Rarity says. "I had no idea I was getting so bad. This wasn't ever my intent."
"How did you even get this stuff, Rarity?" Twilight asked. "I didn't even know crack was in Ponyville. Please help me shut this down."
"Uhm, well, I don't know if I can tell you, Twilight..." the unicorn says, squirming in her seat.
"Rarity, please. You can see the damage this has done to you. To all of us. Just after a week! Please. How did you get it?"
Rarity sighs, her eyes moving to the floor and her ears turning down.
"I'm sorry girls... I got it from Pinkie Pie."
A collective gasp comes from the girls as every eye in the room turns to Pinkie Pie.
"Me? I mean. What?!" says Pinkie.
"Pinkie! You're dealing crack?!" Twilight exclaims.
"Actually this answers a lot of questions," Rainbow mutters to herself.
"What?! No! Girls... come on. This has to be a prank, right?" Pinkie says. "I don't deal crack."
"But it's true!" Rarity says. "I learned it from watching you! I stopped in Sugarcube Corner because, even though I've been trying to watch my figure, I wanted a muffin and I love myself. When I saw Pinkie in the back room. She had this bag of pink powder in the backroom. She took a huge whiff and then I've never seen Pinkie move so fast before! I figured if I could use that on my dresses, I spend more time with you guys than working in the store."
"Wait, so you stole crack from Pinkie?" Fluttershy asks.
"This is just getting worse," Fluttershy says.
"What is crack?" asks Apple Bloom. Applejack once again plugged her sister's mouth.
"Wait, wait, wait. Nononono," Pinkie began. "Rarity. That wasn't crack. That was condensed sugar! We use it at Sugarcube Corner to give our treats our signature treats. It's not even special. We just shake up normal sugar with red food dye so it looks pink. It makes it feel like a special recipe and we can claim it's a secret ingredient."
"Wait," Rarity says. "So I've been snorting condensed sugar for the last week?"
Pinkie nods. "And you stole from my store, but I suppose, I'll sweep that under the rug."
"But what about all the effects!" the unicorn exclaims.
"Well, it was probably a placebo effect," Twilight asks.
"What's a placebo?" Apple Bloom asks.
"A placebo is a substance or treatment with no active therapeutic effect. A placebo may be given to a person in order to deceive the recipient into thinking that it is an active treatment," says Scootaloo.
Every mare in the room looks to Scootaloo in shock.
"What? I listen in school sometimes. Give me a break."
"So, I haven't been doing crack," Rarity says.
"Nope!" says Pinkie happily.
"So now what?" Rarity asks. "I guess this was just a big misunderstanding."
"I guess so. Well. I suppose we can all go home then," Twilight says.
And soon the girls all said their goodbyes. Sweetie Belle went upstairs for some well earned rest and Rarity saw each of the girls out the door. The last to leave was Pinkie Pie, who decided to waiver for just a second. She stopped and turned to her friend.
"Hey, Rarity. I have a question for you," Pinkie asked before walking home.
"Of course, Pinkie. Anything."
"You wouldn't happen to be telling any of this to our local food inspector, would you?"
"Of course not," Rarity says, confusion etched in her tone. "Why would I?"
"Oh, no reason. But hey! On a completely different note. If you happen to have the chills or feel down in the dumps the next few days, you know. Because of all the stress. Be sure to come by Sugarcube Corner. I'm sure we'd be able to whip you up something that will make you feel all better. On the house."
"Daww, Pinkie, you're so sweet. What would I do without a friend like you?"
"Well, you know what we say at Sugarcube Corner! If you don't treat yourself once in a while, you'll go into withdrawal! Anyway. Night, Rarity!"
"Good Night, Pinkie," Rarity said.
And so, another night began in Ponyville. All of the ponies in town rested their heads and began another good night of pleasant sleep, including Rarity and Sweetie Belle. Dough rose in Sugarcube Corner, ready to give ponies that morning boost they needed to get through the day, and most importantly, not a single thing was learned.
