It was a lovely sunny day, as usual. Birds were singing and other things were happening that usually involve sunny days.
Anyway, deep in the bowels of a beer bottle hoarder den there was a human, a poorly underdeveloped human, at least in terms to who exactly he is, as in he has little to no backstory other than being a raging alcoholic. At any rate, this human somehow found himself in Equestria and did pretty much nothing but drink beer, masturbate and eat junk food all day. He never showered, he rarely went outside and was truly a productive member of society.
A long, brown grizzly bear smothered his pale white face, he had blue eyes. He was about six foot tall, who wore a thick, badly worn red jacket, tattered light blue jeans with many holes in them and white sneakers. He had a real post apocalyptic survivor look to him and was surprisingly in good health, despite the mass of beer he consumed on a daily basis.
This man was sat on his moldy brown armchair, surrounded by piles upon piles of beer bottles. In fact, there was so many beer bottles the man had to make a pathway through his home, so he could walk from place to place.
Suddenly, the man stood up.
“Huh?! I don’t want to get up!” he growled angrily, in a deep voice.
Compelled by some unseen force he could not resist the man made his way through his home, by walking through the narrow pathways of his home.
“Nooooo! I don’t want to go outside!” he shouted.
The force ignored his protests, forcing him to open the door. The man bellowed in pain, covering his eyes from the blinding sun.
The force pushed him onward, making him run at great haste toward Rarity's Boutique. Conveniently, just as he made it to the door, Rarity the white unicorn opened the door, greeting him with bedroom eyes.
“Hello there, darling. Aren’t you so----” Rarity violently shook her head. “No! Get away from me you dirty ape!”
“What’s going on?! I don’t want to be here!” he shouted in panic.
“Go home Jack! I don’t want a filthy ape like you here!”
“Well, fuck you! Ugly whorse!” he bellowed.
The two glared at one another with hateful, narrowed angry eyes.
“And then they kissed.” came a feminine, unseen voice.
Rarity and the human were then forced to embrace one another, wrapping their appendages around each other, before leaning close to lock lips, followed by feverishly kissing one another like rabid woodchucks, making a mix of angry growls and pleasured moans.
When their kiss finally broke Rarity pulled her hoof back, readying herself to deliver a powerful punch. But alas, when she tried to punch him, it only resulted in her hoof gently caressing his cheek. He in turn did the same, with his hand lovingly stroking her cheek.
“Do you have any idea what’s going on?!” he shouted.
“I don’t know! Make it stop!” she screamed.
Rarity’s hoof gently took hold of his hand, guiding him up the stairs.
“Noooo! I don’t want to fuck a horse!” he shouted.
“And I don’t want to be rode by a smelly ape!” she screamed, tears falling down her cheeks.
Rarity and the human, against their will made their way into the bedroom. Once there, they sat on the bed and then began to make out with gusto.
The human and the pony gave one another hateful looks as they kissed. They repeatedly tried to break free from the forced make out session. Unfortunately, every time they tried to push one another way, their disobedient hands would merely caress the other’s cheek or gently rub their back.
This continued for quite sometime, before the two slowly departed lips, a thin strand of saliva connecting each other’s lips.
“I don’t want to do this! I want to go home!” he screamed.
“We have no choice Jack. We’re being shipped.”
“Shipped?” he inquired, in a most curious tone.
“Magically forced into intimacy with others we would never even think of engaging sex with.”
“I don’t know Rarity, you’re kinda hot.”
Rarity gasped in shock, bringing a hoof over her mouth. “Don’t tell me you’re giving into the shipper?!”
“Well, I think I like horse pussy now.”
“Okay, maybe if you shaved a bit, showered more, stop living off welfare, cleaned up your home and stop drinking so much, then I might consider dating you.”
“Now, who’s giving into the shipper!” he shouted, crossing his arms.
“Shut up! You filthy ape! I hate you!” she roared.
“I hate you too! You fucking ugly whorse!”
Rarity gasped in shock. “Why you dirty monkey! I’ll have you hung, drawn and quartered!”
“I’ll make glue out of you! Horse!” he bellowed.
The two stared deeply into each other’s eyes, before they suddenly began sloppily kissing one another in a tender display of human and pony love.
“Oh, I love you Jack! This isn’t the shipper!” she moaned in bliss.
“I love you too, Rarity.” he groaned.
Rarity pulled away from the kiss, and then bent over, spreading her plump white cheeks to the human. The humans pants vanished with blinding light and a unrealistically large cock, standing tall and proud between his legs came to be seen.
“Fucking horse magic doing weird shit to me!” he shouted.
“What are you complaining about?! Mount me, you sexy barbarian!” she screamed.
The human shrugged, before taking hold of her plump cheeks, gently resting his heavy, thick cock’s tip on the thick lips of her vagina, readying himself to penetrate her flower. Her pussy was dripping wet, willing and waiting for his massive cock.
Far away, in the Crystal Empire a certain pink alicorn was sat at her desk, masturbating furiously, while at the same time magically levitating a quill over a very long piece of parchment.
The End
