Kodama

by silverspawn

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Romance, Mystery, Crossover
Length: 6862

Fluttershy wanders through an endless forest, visiting foreign but familiar worlds. MLP/MLP crossover.

[size=0.75em][Content Note: arguably strange, partially dark, decisively unconventional, tonally shifting, and potentially inappropriate and/or unsettling episodic meta-crossover adventure slice-of-life romance forest-spirit rationalist mystery thriller. Do not read if you are looking for something safe or ordinary.][/size]

[size=0.75em][Content Rating Note: Teen for explicit romance (no sex), extremely rare instances of explicit violence, and unsettling philosophy.][/size]

[size=0.75em][Progress Note: over 20000 words written by publishing time, awaiting final edits. Should sustain weekly updates for at least a few months.][/size]

[size=0.75em][Disclaimer: contains occasional (mostly light) spoilers for various stories (most of the earlier ones being my own).][/size]

Fluttershy wanders through an endless forest, visiting foreign yet familiar worlds.

[size=0.75em]Cover Image derived from Fluttershy's Jungle by Saxm13.[/size]

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-02 06:34:37 UTC

The plan for the removal of the inner cold

jeë fami-nä eh-uah je-na

tee fami na-ha eh-jä

eh-na-a

ah-fa-na ua-ma-nä ua-ma-nä ua-ja-nä

gejjë-fa geme-na-há e-me na-ua je-eh-nä

gejjë-fa geme-na-há e-me na-ua je-eh-nä

Fluttershy flew low, below the treetop's canopy, and always with her gaze set set ahead. The forest could not threaten her now; for all of its treachery, it had never denied her a visit. The rules declared her untouchable the moment she took to the air.

An unlikely constellation of two massive trees marked the opening of a tunnel to her side, their branches forming a ceiling so solid that breaking through would be an impossibility. Without hesitating, Fluttershy dove right in, pressing her wings to her sides as the walls got tighter, until she found herself standing at the edge of Ponyville, in sight range of the library.

Coming directly out of the forest's warm and steady climate, the change of temperature was so drastic that it took her a moment to connect the sudden burning sensation all over her skin with the extreme cold. Not wasting another moment, she made for the library in full gallop, striking her already numbing hoof against the entrance.

"Do you think Applejack is coming after all?" said a voice from behind the door.

"I don't know," responded another. Both of them were familiar, and the second...

Twilight opened the door. Her chin dropped.

"Do the changeling test if you want, Twilight. But let me in first."

The librarian only stared at her, dumbstruck.

"Twilight!" Fluttershy snapped. "Let me inside or I'll die out here!"

That worked. "Of course," Twilight murmured, making way for her guest who rushed into the room immediately. Twilight closed the door behind her, then proceeded to cast the well-known changeling detection spell on Fluttershy, who was still shivering from those few moments outside.

"What in the name of Celestia...!"

Rarity was here, too. A pleasant surprise. And another mare, who up until a moment ago had been sitting next to a spot where, from the looks of it, somepony had assembled a bunch of stones onto the floor, was now walking over. And, of course...

"A... are y-y-you a ch-... changeling?" Fluttershỹ stammered.

"Nope," was Fluttershy's response, "but hello to you, too."

"I know it seems crazy," Twilight said, "but I already tested her."

"A-and you are s-sure that your spell-"

"As far as I know, there is no way to trick it."

"I'm sure somepony can explain," Rarity said, who was slowly circling the intruder as she spoke, "Fluttershy, or whoever you are, explain this!"

"I'm going to be here for just about twelve minutes, and if I use that time to answer all of your questions, I'm going to have to leave before I can be of help." Fluttershy looked around with a frown, searching for anything looking out of place. "Who is this?" she asked with a nod to the fifth pony, a pegasus mare with a gray coat and pale blue wings, the only one in the room who hadn't said a word so far.

Her shyness was readily apparent. Fluttershy could see her trying to respond, but as all eyes were on her, it took a while for words to come out.

"... my name is... Featherfall."

"What's her deal? And Fluttershỹ, could you bring me something to eat while somepony else explains?"

"Uhm... what kind of food?"

"Salad. Bread. Doesn't matter. I just need to eat something. I'm so hungry."

"Okay..."

"Fluttershy-"

"Twilight, for the love of Celestia, do not question me. Tell me your problem, so I can help while I'm here. You do have one, don't you?"

"Are you Fluttershỹ?" Twilight asked, despite the warning. "I need to know. Then I'll talk."

"Yes and no," Fluttershy responded. "But more yes than no. I'd like to say just yes, but who am I to judge?"

"What does that mean?" Rarity asked.

"It's complicated, okay? I told you I don't have time."

Twilight hesitated.

"Should I tell her?" She asked, but she didn't seem to know whom she was asking. "Rar-... Featherfall? What do you think? It's your secret."

"I-"

"Are you positive she is not a changeling, Twilight?"

"We've met while I was at the Ponyville market," Fluttershy said to Rarity, "you helped me because I was too shy to talk to salesponies. Afterwards, you invited me to the boutique; when I was too shy to attend, you figured out where I was living and came all the way out to my cottage to convince me to come with you. Once there, I had a breakdown and started to cry. Is that convincing enough?"

"I..." Rarity stammered. "Y-yes, but, but Fluttershỹ here-"

"Is Fluttershy too," Fluttershy cut her off. "I exist several times." As do you, she added to herself. "Now what is the problem?"

"You can tell her..." Featherfall murmured.

Twilight sighed. "Featherfall is dysfunctional because her hostile upbringing has quenched her inner fire."

"Goodness," Fluttershy murmured, for a moment thrown off by the news. "That's terrible!"

Nopony spoke, while Fluttershỹ came out of the kitchen, carrying a bowl filled with leaves and two slices of bread.

"Thanks." Fluttershy took the bowl from her, taking a bite.

"You know about the inner fire?"

Fluttershy swallowed. "Yes," she just said, silently making a decision. "Okay. So Featherfall here needs fixing. What's to be done? She needs love, doesn't she?"

Twilight nodded.

"Fine." Fluttershy finished chewing her bite, then she turned around, approaching the hapless pegasus who appeared to be intimidated, slowly stepping back-

"You need love?" Fluttershy asked, not taking her eyes off her. "Here is love for you." And carefully, meeting no resistance, she took the mare into her arms,

"Here is the love my parents gave to me, while I was still with them." She could feel the pegasus' body close, her feathers cold against her own. "Here is the love I got from the world before I was cast out."

She noticed heat coming from stones on the ground, and without asking, she partially loosened her embrace to direct the other pony to sit in front.

"Here is the love I have for my home, which I barely get to see anymore." She gave a gentle stroke to Featherfall's cheeks and chin, and neck, "and here is the love I had for Angel, before I realized he's been using me." She brought a second hoof to Featehrfall's shoulder, not once breaking eye contact.

"Here is for hunger. And for exhaustion." She extended her wings, wrapping them tightly around the pegasus' back. "Here is for weeks spent alone. Here is for forest spirits."

"I..."

"Here is for the love I have no-one to give." She leaned her head against the other mare's, feeling her breath on her skin. Even her breath was cold. Fluttershy shuddered, for a moment doubting herself, for a moment allowing herself to ask what might happen if-

No, screw that.

"I think you had it harder than I did, and I don't get to say that often." Fluttershy drew back, just enough to make eye contact again, but did not retreat her wings. "So here is for consent." And she locked lips with Featherfall. She could hear somepony gasp behind her, but she ignored it. Twilight might have had constraints if she tried this, but Fluttershy did not.

Yes, even the pegasus' tongue was cold against hers.

"Here is for the cold," she whispered as she drew back. "Here is for love." And she threw her limbs around the other mare, kissing her passionately.

And however objectionable her behavior might be, Featherfall gave no sign of protest. She might not have been asked, but she was still returning the kiss, until her breath became warmer and a whimper came over her lips and when Fluttershy drew back-

"I feel warm! I feel..."

But she was overwhelmed by exhaustion before she could finish her sentence, passing out in Fluttershy's arms.

Carefully, Fluttershy lowered the body which still lay in the combined grasp of her hooves and wings, laying her down as she retracted them. Deadly silence filled up the room, the only sound being her own heavy breathing as she sat in this old, always familiar library, her face close to Twilight's wonderful contraption which still gave out heat, a spell no doubt, perhaps the best thing that could have happened in this chapter of her journey.

For a few moments, Fluttershy just focused on the heat on her skin. A sob came over her lips, but she suppressed it enough to hide it from everyone else.

"Fluttershy..." Rarity murmured.

"Bowl," Fluttershy only said. Without looking behind her, she extended a wing, using it to pull the item in question close.

She didn't know how much longer she had. She needed to eat. Hungrily, she swallowed the entire leaf salad and what was left of the bread, while the others began to whisper behind her.

Slowly, she turned around.

"Thanks," she murmured, a strain of her disheveled mane falling in front of her eyes. "Do you, um... also have something to drink for me... please?"

"I will get something," Rarity said, heading for the kitchen. Fluttershy's gaze fell onto Twilight, who was staring at her with a mixture of confusion and curiosity, while Fluttershỹ still seemed to be in shock.

"I'm sorry if I've done anything wrong," Fluttershy offered. "But, um... it seemed to be what was necessary..."

"Did it work?"

"You heard her."

"Yeah, but did it really work?"

"Her breath was warm at the end. Thanks," she added towards Rarity, who had returned with a glass of water.

"Wow..." Twilight shook her head. "That-"

"-is not how the Fluttershỹ I know behaves," Rarity finished the sentence for her, attempting to stand next to the pony in question, who chose this moment to walk over and kneel down besides the fallen pegasus.

"She really is warm again," Fluttershỹ said. "Whoever you, um, are..." She didn't look at her, but Fluttershy appreciated the gesture nonetheless. "... you saved her. Thank you."

"Yeah," Twilight said to Rarity. "Her methods are a bit questionable, but... new Fluttershy really did save her. I don't know if we'd done it as well without her. I don't think we-"

"N-new Fluttershy?" Fluttershỹ protested weakly, "really?"

"How about very temporary Fluttershy who will only be here for a few more minutes and whom you should ask questions now if you want answers, rather than later?" Fluttershy suggested. "Not that I mind. Thanks for the food. Do you have another problem? If not, do you have more food, Twilight? That would be great."

Twilight nodded, now heading for the kitchen herself.

"So who are you?" Rarity demanded, but momentarily, Fluttershy stood up.

"I'll come with you," she called after Twilight, following her. "Sorry, Rarity. Later, if we have time left."

"I haven't eaten in weeks," she said to Twilight, who was giving her a questioning look. "Can you show me? What you have?"

With only slight hesitation, Twilight nodded, pulling out two cabinets, producing a large bowl of fresh leaves which Fluttershỹ must have taken from earlier, an entire loaf of bread, and a box full of hay. Twilight said nothing as Fluttershy dug into the remaining salad, and neither did the other two as they soon joined them from the entrance hall. Twilight silently cut slices off the loaf with her magic, offering a new one to Fluttershy whenever she was done with the last.

"Thank you," she said in one breath as all of the salad and half of the bread was gone. She took a step towards Twilight, and then they were in each other's arms, Twilight's body steady and controlled, and Fluttershy's trembling. Next she approached Rarity, who looked as if she wanted to protest, but-

"I have to go," Fluttershy murmured. "In less than a minute."

Rarity's face softened, and then she nodded.

"Take care, darling." Her voice was barely more than a whisper, but loud against Fluttershy's ear. "Whoever you are."

"Usually, you're the one who is nicest to me," Fluttershy said as they parted. "I'm sorry it didn't work out this time."

Next...

"This part is usually a bit awkward, but..."

Fluttershỹ nodded, and with a smile, they also exchanged a brief hug.

"Now," Rarity said, sounding determined, "while you are still here-"

"I travel worlds," Fluttershy answered her question. "I meet other versions of you. Or other ponies. You aren't trapped in a loop, if that's what you're worried about. I can't control whom I visit, and I don't control how long I stay, I just get send somewhere and do what I can to help. But – I have to go. Now. Twilight, can you put the bread and hay in a bag, and then..." She didn't finish the sentence, already walking backwards. "Please. Quick. Rarity, all the rest is details. It wouldn't help you."

Twilight nodded. Hastily, she pulled other cupboards open, eventually producing a paper bag, where she stuffed the remaining half of the loaf and the box with fries inside, floating it over to the slowly retreating Fluttershy.

"Do you have to?" she asked as her magic around the bag faded, "and will you come back?"

"I have to." The bag in her grasp, she shuffled further backwards towards the entrance. "Open it. I don't think I'll be back. But it's not up to me. Just as leaving now isn't. I will if I can."

"It's so cold." Twilight opened the door, immediately grimacing at the temperature. "You need-"

"Doesn't matter. I won't be out there for more than a few seconds. This is what I really need. The food. Thank you."

Suddenly, she pulled Twilight close, and they shared one last embrace, but it only lasted for a few seconds, until she jerked back, now turning around, taking a few hasty steps to make up for the delay.

"I'll be back if I can, but I probably can't. Goodbye everyone!" And with that she started running, not because she had to but because of the harrowing cold, pressing her lips together until she reached the spot where she had entered. Breathing a sigh of relief, she took one more step, and reappeared amidst the forest.

Kodama, #1 part B

jeë fami-nä eh-uah je-na

tee fami na-ha eh-jä

eh-na-a

ah-fa-na ua-ma-nä ua-ma-nä ua-ja-nä

gejjë-fa geme-na-há e-me na-ua je-eh-nä

gejjë-fa geme-na-há e-me na-ua je-eh-nä

Fluttershy woke up.

She kept her eyes closed, sensing for shackles or any other impediments, recalled the events of the previous day, sensed for her bag, her pillow, and listened for anything sounding out of place. Only then did she carefully lift her eyelids, finding the forest in the same twilight that it was always in.

She sat up. The spirit was nowhere around, but such was hardly unusual. Opening her bag, she granted herself a modest breakfast of hay and bread, before taking it back in her grasp and heading in a direction of which she hoped it would eventually join up with her original route.

The next task to be tackled was finding a water source. Feeling optimistic, Fluttershy soon let her mind wander, though doing so without ever losing awareness of her surroundings, a skill which she had long since perfected. As was the case so often, she ended up working on her tune, which at this point meant composing and dismissing many variations, unlikely to be satisfied enough with any of them to make a real change. But that was okay. She needed not have progress to show, after all. There was nopony she had to answer to, not for progress, not for anything. There was only her. Soon she found a stream, and with it all that had been missing for her to feel in top condition. The forest was no real enemy, not when she was rested and fed and in good spirits.

Minutes crept into hours, but not once did time drag on; boredom was an opponent she had defeated long ago. Even just listening, submerging in the tapestry of sounds around her, was pleasant enough, good enough for her.

Rainbow Dash would be...

Fluttershy laughed silently.

Here is for loneliness. Here is for loyalty.

She stopped smiling, now, thinking back to Featherfall. It was best, for clear reasons, not to get too too invested, but it was also not advisable to force her thoughts away from what was pulling them. She had no doubts as to what she had done, and yet... no...

No, she was proud of herself, she realized. She had only wanted to have it confirmed. By herself. Naturally. No-one else's opinion was to be trusted, after all.

Rainbow Dash would be-

Oh, stop it.

Fluttershy giggled. taking a moment to pause in her walk and focus on the scent of wet bark and moss. It was never raining here, not ever, but moisture came and went without it.

Well...

There was only one way. Onward.

҈

Three days passed before Fluttershy decided to take to her next visit, leaping into the air without a second of doubt, flying at a nice, low altitude. Nice and safe.

Perhaps unlike what she was headed towards.

She never knew.

The forest appeared to take its time with this one. Fluttershy merely passed a couple of tree spirits, but their clicking and crackling was now merely an afterthought. They could not harm her now, even if they had wanted too.

Then, at once, there was a cave straight ahead. Fluttershy pulled her wings close for a dive, only meeting with the darkness for a few moments before she found herself standing, steady and calm, right inside the library.

Rationalism, Quantum Physics, and Bayesian Probability [9:45 (2)]

jeë fami-nä eh-uah je-na

tee fami na-ha eh-jä

eh-na-a

ah-fa-na ua-ma-nä ua-ma-nä ua-ja-nä

gejjë-fa geme-na-há e-me na-ua je-eh-nä

gejjë-fa geme-na-há e-me na-ua je-eh-nä

Silently, Fluttershy pivoted around, prepared for anything. This was unusual, not a first, but very rare. Normally, she would enter the world from the outside, and with a certain distance to the events she was supposedly being sent to.

A rustling sound made her wince, her muscles tense. A moment later, she slowly breathed out, trying to calm herself. She was in the library. The flipping of pages, which was what this had sounded like, was hardly unusual.

To be more precise, she was on the second level of the library, standing at the 'edge' of the lower half. No ceiling separated this from the next higher level, one could get down easily by jumping, get up by flying, or use the couple of steps to her left. Presumably, Twilight was up there, reading something.

Not wanting to seem like she was sneaking up on her, Fluttershy walked to the left to take the conventional route up. The sound of her steps was responded to with the creaking of a bed from above, and soon she saw somepony standing at the top of the stairs.

It was not Twilight.

"Fluttershy! What happened?"

It was an unicorn filly, perhaps ten years old, whom she had never seen before but who was now rushing down the stairs to greet her. From her mannerism, Fluttershy concluded that she would have tried for a hug if her appearance hadn't ticked her off.

"Hi," Fluttershy said, unsure of how to respond, or how much-

"What happened?"

"I'm not the Fluttershy you know," Fluttershy responded, choosing the direct course. "Is, um-"

"What does that mean?" the filly asked immediately. "Are you a changeling? If not, tell me what we did after you first invited me to your cottage."

"No changeling," Fluttershy responded. "Twilight could do the spell. But I don't have any memories of you."

"Earlier memories?"

"Sure, but-"

"The age you left Cloudsdale?"

"Nine."

"The reason you cried for the first time?"

Fluttershy blinked. This was a question which, as far as she could recall, no-one had ever asked her before, neither during the game nor during her old life.

"I saw somepony else being bullied."

"Rainbow Dash?"

"Uhm. No?"

"Alright. Tell me who you are then, unless you need some urgent help first?"

"No, but I was going to ask you the same thing."

"I'm fine. What else?"

"I don't think talking about this is a good use of our time. If there is something I can help with-"

"You can help," the filly said, "by talking  to me. What-"

"Is Twilight there?"

"Downstairs, why?"

"If there is a problem-"

"If you explain everything immediately relevant to your situation really quickly, I think it that make things go faster."

Fluttershy sighed. "I'm from another world, here briefly, got reason to think there's something I can help with."

"You know whom you're supposed to help?"

"No."

She was quick, at least. The exchange so far might have not been productive, but it certainly hadn't taken a lot of time.

"Chance of Twilight having a problem you could help with in a short time is low. You might be here to talk to me. I'd like to hear more."

"What's your name?"

"Call me Vi. What should I call you?"

"Fluttershy."

"Fluttershy, how much time do you have, and what else is immediately important?"

"Around twelve minutes total. After that I'm gone."

"How far in advance will you know?"

"Two minutes."

"Okay," Vi said, "you can come up and have a seat. Is the Fluttershỹ I know fine?"

"Yes."

"Tell me as much as possible about your situation," Vi said, taking a large book from a bed that was supposedly hers, situated next to Spike's, and gestured for Fluttershy to sit down beside her, "you can take up to three minutes."

Some part of Fluttershy realized that she was about to obey the commands of a ten-year old as she sat down, but at the same time, she found herself unwilling to protest. Now that she, perhaps for the first time ever, had met someone who was immediately treating the situation with the sense of urgency it warranted, she didn't want herself to be the weak link.

"When I was nineteen," she began, "about two years after Twilight's arrival in Ponyville, I made a trip through the Everfree Forest. I got lost, things seemed different... I... I don't remember it that well, it was strange, but at some point I realized that it wasn't normal. The Everfree is big, and there must have been parts I had never been to before, so at first I thought that was what had happened, but... it was just too strange. I never found my way back. It's been my home ever since. Most of the time I wander around, but whenever I fly, the forest finds me a passage to a place in Equestria, usually connected to one of us six. There is usually a problem and-"

"Sorry to interrupt, what about yourself, do you meet yourself?"

"Yes," Fluttershy just said, immediately causing a nod from the filly, so she continued. "There is usually a problem, and I solve it as best I can. Regardless of what happens, soon I'm forced to go back again. Uhm..."

She took a few moments to think of what to say next. Vi looked at her expectantly, not interrupting.

"There are rules to the game-"

"Game?"

"It's what I call it. Because the rules are so specific that I someone must have set it up. For example, I'm not allowed to carry water containers. And, uhm..."

She paused again, once more thinking about what-

"Can I ask questions?"

"Sure."

"Is it dangerous?"

Fluttershy nodded. "I never really came close to dying, but there were several times where something could have killed if..." She left the sentence unfinished.

"The ponies you meet, they forget-"

"Oh. No. I think they are different versions. The situations don't match."

"Woah," Vi made, at once standing up. "That's incredible. That changes... I..." She shook her head. "More." She began pacing around the room. "You need to tell me more. Who set it all up? Discord?"

"Probably," Fluttershy murmured, "but I don't know. I call him the mad god... whoever it is."

"What other rules?"

"I can only find water in the forest, not food," Fluttershy said at the top of her head, "so I need to do visits, which is what I call the trips to dimensions. They aren't exactly equally long, but pretty close. And I think there are even stages. Progress seems to be measured only by how much I travel, so I don't do visits more than I have to. And... it, uhm, twice it offered me to ascend to another stage I think, and when I didn't it repeated the first, but I got a reward."

"Reward?"

"It's hard to explain, but-"

"Never mind then. I agree that it sounds like it's almost certainly manufactured.

Fluttershy nodded.

"That's incredible," Vi said again, "it's..." She shook her head. "I'm being stupid. Can be surprised later. Need to think about what to discuss now... so, the ponies you meet, do they always seem normal?"

"Uh, Fluttershy made. "I'm not sure. I think so?"

"And no memories?"

"Of past visits? No, never. What are you getting at?"

"Nothing. I don't know. Just asking some obvious questions until I can think of good ones. But filtered situations?"

"You mean-"

"I mean that unlikely events happen more often than they tend to do in the normal world."

"Oh, yes."

"I see. So the mad god must monitor all other universes."

Fluttershy nodded. This thought was not new to her.

"He sits there and monitors everything. But you can choose when to visit?"

Fluttershy nodded again.

So either time can be bent somehow, which I don't believe is possible, or there are enough universes to always pick one, or..." She gulped. "Is there always a serious problem?

"Not always. But most of the time."

"Not always," Vi repeted. "That has to be good. Oh, yeez. How... how long has it been?"

"Years," Fluttershy murmured.

"You don't look older. Do you age normally?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "I don't age, I think."

"Dear Celestia!" Before Fluttershy could comprehend what kind of effect his answer had on Vi, she had already sped over from her spot in the middle of the room. "You don't age? Eternal life? Fluttershy, if your happiness is net positive and your chance of death arbitrarily small, you might have a higher expected value than half of Equestria combined!" For a few moments, she seemed to hyperventilate, until she closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. "This is insane. Fluttershy, can I come with you?"

"I..."

"Can I?"

"No!"

"You don't want me to or it's impossible?"

"It's impossible-"

"What's the evidence?"

"Twilight has tried," Fluttershy said, now feeling on the defensive, "twice, and nothing has ever suggested that there is any way. There was no progress when she tried."

She could see Vi biting her lip, and then-

She was crying?!

"I don't plan to die, Fluttershy," she said, now talking even faster than before, "but, but, Fluttershy, how do I know that I don't stop existing the moment you go back into the forest?"

Although similar thoughts had crossed her mind before, her instinct was to dismiss the concern immediately, and she followed it before she had the time to reconsider.

"That's crazy talk! Why would-"

"Fluttershy, what is more likely, many different universes existing separately, traversable only by you through mechanics that have been established by some kind of agent in the form of a game, but are otherwise completely independent and outweigh the ethical significance of your life by an order – no, by several orders of  magnitude, or just one universe, just one permanent life, and you being teleported far away and stuff being set up there, consciousness being created but only temporarily, and then it terminates the moment you get back and the remaining time is used to rebuild it? It's all so tailored towards you. It's good that sometimes there is no problem, but even so, doesn't it look more like the creation hypothesis? Then again why would I even be conscious then? But maybe consciousness comes by itself. No-one knows. I, agh, I can't think this through now, this is stupid. It won't help me to know how bad or good the situation is, I just-"

"You know you existed before," Fluttershy interrupted her, "so-"

"Nonense," Vi said harshly, "a subjective observer doesn't have any way to determine when she was created if the brain is left unchanged. Swapping out the consciousness has no observable effect on the causal universe. Removing it, sure, but not swapping it."

"Then how do you know that doesn't-"

"I don't," Vi snapped. "I don't know that it doesn't happen anyway, once every time my exact particle structure changes, aka once per smallest time interval that exists in the universe. I'm already afraid enough of that, okay? I don't need it to be more likely."

She took a few more deep breaths. "I'm sorry, it's not your-"

"Of course," Fluttershy said, "don't waste your time apologizing, I'm not offended."

Vi nodded. "How do you get back?"

"I go back to the exact point where I have entered. I make another step and I'm back in the forest."

"Another step where to?"

"I, I don't know, I make a step and then-"

"Right," Vi cut her off, "right. okay. What if you don't go back?"

"I'm forced to, I feel the need and it gets stronger and stronger until-"

"Does it converge?"

"What?"

"Does it have a treshhold?"

"I don't think so. If it does I've never reached it."

"It tells you where to go?"

"Yes."

Vi nodded. "I see. I see I see I see I see... come on..." She hit her own skull with a front limb, her eyes closed. "Think think think think. Think! If there is a way if there's a way, an out, I must take it now..."

Deadly silence sunk in for a few moments, and Fluttershy wasn't sure if she had ever felt so afraid for-

"I'll try," Vi said, "I'll defintiely try and- tracking spell! Of course! We need Twilight-"

"No," Fluttershy cut her off. "No magic. Can't risk it."

Vi turned her head, licking her lips.

"Against the rules."

"I don't know. I don't take risks."

"Right," Vi said. "I wouldn't, either. You're more important than me, too, you're almost certainly conscious, but I... I'm now, but..."

Fluttershy rushed forward, kneeling down in front of the filly.

"Anything I can do. If it doesn't risk too much. Name it."

"I DON'T KNOW! Hold me when it happens. Put my hoof on the spot."

Fluttershy nodded.

"I don't know what else."

"If what you fear is true, Vi, the universe would have to be so cruel. I don't-"

"No," Vi replied immediately. "Weak argument. Chance for universe to have been optimized for utility is near zero. Chance for it to care about terminating the entire dimension is below one percent. Particularly because there is no suffering, so even if it's true, it's not so horrible that..." She left the sentence unfinished.

"I might come back to the same dimension one day."

"Has it ever happened?"

Fluttershy shook her head.

"Dammit," Vi cursed. "There might be arbitrarily many dimensions. Maybe infinitely many. Odds for hitting the same twice are zero, then, even if subjective consciousness is preserved."

"If you try infinitely often-"

"No," VI said, "it stays zero. A uniform distributions of all real numbers between zero and one has zero probability on each point. Points still happen, but the chance for each one to happen again remains zero after arbitrarily many tries. Can't have infinity tries even if you live forever. That space is uncountable, but I don't know how else you would approximate something over a countable set of-" She shook her head. "Doesn't matter. And it's way more likely that each one is created newly and even talking about hitting it again is nonsense."

She stood up again, once more pacing around the room.

"Outs," she murmured, "outs, outs, outs. We're assuming too much. Could all be off track completely. Third option. Fourth option. Talking the wrong things. No effect on what we do. Need to think options."

"If I meet the mad god at some point, maybe he will negotiate?"

"Yes." Vi spun around. "That's good. That has a non-zero chance of working."

Suddenly, the energy seemed to leave her.

"But why would you pick me..." she murmured.

"I don't know why," Fluttershy said firmly, "but I would. If it comes to it, I will."

Vi took a deep breath. "I don't trust you will keep that promise, but thank you."

"You're the only one who ever..." Fluttershy bit her lip.

Vi nodded. "Right. Of course I am. But I can tell you ahead of time that each subsequent consciousness of me you encounter will prefer they be saved."

"They're out of luck. If I can't save more than one."

Vi nodded. "Thanks," she whispered. "That reminds me, have you never met me before?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "I must have visited Twilight close to a hundred times, but you were never there. I..."

She stopped.

How did you go about telling somepony that they... it was a silly thing to worry about now, but-

"What?"

"Not everypony always exists," Fluttershy said carefully. Some-"

"Who's alive is different across dimensions? What about the elements?"

"Always there."

"What." Vi made. "That's so bizarre. What does it depend on?"

"I don't know."

"And I don't exist most of the time?"

"Or you aren't here? I don't know. Vi, I'm sorry-"

"I don't care much about existing more than once. It probably wouldn't be the same consciousness anyway. Although not even that's for sure."

Then she began pacing again. "What else..."

Another silence emerged, interrupted only by the filly's steps on the floor. A familiar feeling made Fluttershy feel sick to the stomach.

"A distinct code. It should work both ways. Something you remember from me, and something I remember from you."

"But why would that-"

"Not worth explaining. Not thought it through myself yet. Could have several reasons. You're on board?"

Fluttershy nodded. "I have my unique tune-"

"Too vague. Sorry, Fluttershy. Something more-" But she stopped. "No, sing it. Thinking too narrowly. Chance of universe caring about emotions is non-zero, with what you told me."

Fluttershy nodded again, took a deep breath and began to hum the tune. Vi's face was distorted in concentration, but as Fluttershy was finished she shook her head.

"Too complex. Won't remember. Can you repeat just the beginning?"

"I'll have to go in a minute," Fluttershy said, now with tears in her eyes.

"I CAN RECORD!" Vi suddenly shouted. "I'm so- do the first- wait, hold on."

Her horn lit, blue energy circling around it. "Way too hard for me. Will only have a few seconds. Repeat the beginning."

"Now?"

"Not yet."

Vi closed her eyes, the energy around her horn intensifying. "Now," she pressed out between closed teeth. Fluttershy gulped, but began immediately, as well as she could.

"Stop," Vi said after less than ten seconds. "I go it. Will also take a part of your body. Where is your skin thickest?"

"My hoof- wait, what about my mane?"

"Of course. Right." Vi bit on her lip, as her magic cut off a part of her own mane, then a part of Fluttershy's.

"Take this," she said, offering Fluttershy her own. "Will it stay with you after-"

"Don't know, usually things that decay fast work, others don't."

"Can you-"

"-put it in my mouth when I leave?"

Vi nodded. "Surrounded by your body."

"Of course. Vi..." She had already begun to retreat. Vi nodded, stepping closely beside her.

"I love you, Fluttershy," she whispered. "Both of you. Always have. You were so kind to me."

Tears dropped onto the ground, and Fluttershy made no attempt to hold them back. "I'll save you. If I can, and if-" She cut herself off. "It's here."

Vi nodded. "Me first."

Fluttershy nodded, halting in her walk to let the filly stand on the spot.

"Here?"

"Yeah, right there."

"I don't feel-"

"Vi, I have to go."

"Right." Vi stepped aside, clutching to Fluttershy's front hoof as she took the last steps."

"I'm at the spot," Fluttershy said. "Next step brings me back." She swallowed, then took the hair in her mouth, closing it.

"Right. Right. Now... ah, just go." She tightened her grasp. "Two-  wait, my code! Seven seven four, remember it! Now, two, one-"

Simultaneously, holding each other as tightly as they could, they each made a step.

The next moment, Fluttershy was alone in the forest.

The hair in her mouth had disappeared.

Tears dwelt freely out of her eyes, and her hooves gave way beneath her.

Kodama, #0

jeë fami-nä eh-uah je-na

tee fami na-ha eh-jä

eh-na-a

ah-fa-na ua-ma-nä ua-ma-nä ua-ja-nä

gejjë-fa geme-na-há e-me na-ua je-eh-nä

gejjë-fa geme-na-há e-me na-ua je-eh-nä

A gust of wind caught Fluttershy's mane from behind, blowing a strand in front of her eyes. She brushed it off, licking her dry lips as she pressed on further into the forest, her eyes set ahead. The flora beside the path was rich and vast, among them plants she had not enountered in months, but despite her gnawing hunger, she made no attempts to find something edible.

Click, click. Tick-tick-click.

She turned her head, spotting a forest spirit sitting on a branch to her right, its misshapen head turning above its white body, perhaps greeting her with this familiar clicking sound. Fluttershy raised an eyebrow, halting in her walk as she watched it, yet always prepared for the worst.

Click. Click. Tick.

It spun around a few times, then it jumped off its branch, disappearing into the covert of trees.

"Shoo," Fluttershy murmured under her breath, wincing at the hoarseness of her own voice.

She was used to a lot, but she knew this was stretching it. She should... what was that thing Rainbow Dash would do, if she were here now?

Fly?

Or just run?

Or perhaps...

But the spirit was behind her now. And if Rainbow Dash truly was reckless enough to have attacked it, then that just proved how stupid she was.

A sigh escaped her lips.

She was out of food, out of water, and she was running low on energy to go much further. Yes, Rainbow Dash would be proud of her.

It was time to fly.

Kodama, #1 part A

jeë fami-nä eh-uah je-na

tee fami na-ha eh-jä

eh-na-a

ah-fa-na ua-ma-nä ua-ma-nä ua-ja-nä

gejjë-fa geme-na-há e-me na-ua je-eh-nä

gejjë-fa geme-na-há e-me na-ua je-eh-nä

The forest greeted her, now seeming much less threatening and much more like an old friend. Gradually, Fluttershy relaxed, even managing a smile as she walked to a nearby trunk, carefully leaning against it, enjoying the sensation of fullness. Momentarily, her ears perked up at a seemingly random noise, her own reminder not to let her guard down, not even when she was feeling full and comfortable.

A minute passed, then another, then she pulled herself back up. Picking up the bag in her mouth, she began to continue her journey forward. Always forward. Her eyelids wore more heavily with every passing minute, but tiredness was an emotion much preferable to weakness. Still, as it became hard to keep her eyes open, she resigned to her fate, clearing her throat mid-walk before she began to sing in a soft voice: her own tune, no words, only humming, complex and shifting and engaging, the diamond she had fostered over time, witness of just how long the game was already going.

Click. Tick-tick-tick.

"I need to sleep," she whispered, interrupting her tune.

Click. Click. Click.

"To finish?"

Tick.

"Fine." Fluttershy halted, sining her song once more, not just the part that had been missing, but starting from the beginning, the whole tune, as beautifully as she managed.

Click. Tick-tick-tick. The white figure nodded, jumping in place until Fluttershy caught up to it, then leading them both leftwards, until they reached a section where the trees weren't quite as tall as elsewhere. Still jumping in place, it offered her a stretch of moss, and even came back with more as she lay down, wrapping it around a branch and putting it next to her head.

It was good to be kind. That had always been true.

Pulling the bag as close to her as she could, Fluttershy rested her head on the pillow she had been given, closing her eyes whilst the familiar sounds of the forest, the chirping, the rustling, and the steps were still alive around her, and the tick-tick-tick, and the occasional wet drop, and the scratching, and the tick-tick-tick... click... click...