Great Cellists Always Try
Octavia's day began strangely, which set the tone for what was to come. The sound of the door to her humble room—scarcely enough space for her bed, a vanity, and her cello—awoke her just in time to see a serving thrull place a breakfast tray over her. Breakfast in bed normally only happened when Octavia was sick with something contagious.
Then there was what was on the tray, vastly more sumptuous than the hay and piece of fruit she'd been expecting. Eggs, beans, produce whose seasons spanned half of the calendar... and a pinkish lump of something that wobbled unsettlingly and smelled of salt and copper.
Octavia stared at it all, then turned to the departing thrull. Foolish of her; she couldn't ask it anything, of course. No tongue in its pasty, recycled flesh, no expression behind its golden mask. She looked back and spotted a small folded card amidst the bounty.
Clean your plate, little one. You will need it all.
Master
That settled matters. Octavia still had no idea why she was getting such luxurious treatment, but she'd been ordered to make the most of it. It was all delicious. Well, almost all delicious. She had to reread the card three times before she could square up her courage and choke down the mouthful of what was almost certainly some manner of meat. It didn't taste any better than it smelled.
Once that was finished, Octavia set the tray outside her door, then began making herself presentable enough to visit the servants' baths. Some might think it lost effort, but she knew the others would gossip, and her position left her little time among the rest of the household when she could defend herself. If she wasn't playing for the master, then she was either preparing to play or standing by for his command.
A soft knock drew Octavia's attention from her vanity midway through brushing her mane. Behind her door, the chamberlain said, "Miss Octavia, you have a visitor."
She blinked. "I do?" She set down her manebrush and moved the short distance to the door, trying to think of who might want to see her. Master Zolcov would have simply entered, and her parents' visits were strictly scheduled by the indenture contract. The next one was on Taxmass, and that wasn't for months.
Whoever she'd thought off, Octavia had never expected a beaming, golden-eyed unicorn dressed in the strangely organic fashions of the Simic Combine, garments that looked more grown than woven and always seemed to glisten with moisture even when bone-dry. The mare wearing them might have brought pistachio or mint to mind without them, but in the garb of a biomancer, Octavia could only liken the hue to algae that sometimes formed in the mansion's fountains.
"Congratulations, sir-slash-madam, intronize whichever is inappropriate!" chirped the stranger. "My name is Lyra Heartstrings, and I'm pleased to announce that you've won the inaugural Simic Combine Genetic Lottery!" She extended a limb.
Octavia reflexively shook it before she processed that she was shaking a hand attached to an absurdly elongated pony tail. She boggled at the hand, then looked back at the other mare's face and boggled some more. There wasn't anything especially boggle-worthy to be found there, but she hadn't quite gotten all of it out of her system yet. Finally, she said what seemed like the only appropriate response. "What?"
"As you may know, the Genetic Lottery is part of the Combine's new outreach program, as we strive to bring the same quality-of-life improvements as we did during the days of the Old Guildpact, only without the plotting for world domination and turning the guildhall into a giant, amorphous monstrosity."
"I can certainly see how that would make one unpopular," Octavia said dazedly. She shook herself. "I didn't enter any sort of lottery, though."
"Well, no." Lyra's expression grew uneasy as her horn lit up. A scroll rose out of her egg-like saddlebags and unrolled itself, facing Octavia. "Your, er, owner did."
"Master. As is well within his rights." Octavia recognized Master Zolcov's signature at a glance, but much of the rest of the scroll was a blend of familiar legalese blended with so many foreign technical terms that she couldn't make heads or tails of it.
"Right." Lyra hesitated, her smile finally slipping. "You do know about the Sisters' offer, right?"
"I don't see how I could have possibly missed it. An alicorn playing neighborhood crier in one's dreams is difficult to ignore." Octavia shook her head. "Honestly, I'm still getting used to the idea that Celestia and Luna are actually real. But regardless, I am a debt-foal, emphasis on foal. I've spent my whole life as Master Zolcov's servant. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if the Sisters paid off my contract."
Lyra nodded. "That does make sense. You've adapted to this environment. I can hardly expect you to respond well if I uprooted you and plopped you somewhere totally different. Not without a lot of alterations, anyway." The wide grin made a triumphant return. "Which brings us back to what brought me here today!"
"This 'Genetic Lottery' you mentioned?"
"That's right!" Lyra put away the contract and produced another scroll, this one not even pretending to be comprehensible to Octavia's eyes. She walked in the room, forcing Octavia to awkwardly climb over her bed and next to the vanity to make room. "Pontiff Zolcov requested a very interesting cosmetic package for you, and thanks to recent advances in rapid hybridization techniques, we can give him the desired results with a few seconds of spellcasting rather than weeks of extensive bioshifting. You'll even retain your previous level of sapience, unlike the outmoded frog lizard transmutation."
Octavia scrunched up her muzzle as she tried to parse this. "Frog... lizard?"
"Well, the technical term is 'herpatrachian,' but no one outside of the Hull Clade actually calls them that. But there'll be no frog lizards today!" After a moment, Lyra added, "Well, not here, anyway. You did eat the sample, right?"
"You mean the piece of..." Octavia trailed off and just nodded, not trusting herself to speak further on the matter, unsavory in multiple senses.
"Great! Hope you ate everything else, too. The raw materials will make this a lot easier." Lyra lit her horn. "Now, please try to hold still during the process. Biomancy's like anything in life; if you don't take the time to do it right, all you get is a pile of tumors."
Octavia felt her knees lock more out of fear than obedience. "Is that an expression for something?"
"If by 'expression', you mean 'literal description,' then yes." As Octavia considered that, Lyra fired a golden beam of magic at her. Naturally, Octavia shut her eyes.
The spell was surprisingly painless. Tingly and oddly hunger-inducing, but painless. Vision returned without Octavia willing it, though oddly blurry. When she tried opening her eyes, the blur slid away, like opening a grimy window.
I added nictitating membranes, since sharks don't usually have eyelids.
A chill ran down Octavia's spine. She saw Lyra's mouth move, but the words seemed to travel through a foot of cotton wool before she had a chance to hear them. "What?" Her own voice was clear, at least.
Lyra grimaced. Right. Lateral lines don't work well in air, do they?
"What?" Octavia turned to her mirror. A dead-eyed creature stared back, opening its jaw as hers dropped, the better to display the wicked daggers it called teeth. She took a step back, letting her get a better look at the way the thing tottered on four hoofed legs. "That's me!?"
She saw Lyra clamber atop her mattress and rest a hoof against her reflection's barrel. "Can you hear me better now?"
Octavia tried to nod and got nowhere. After a moment, she said, "Yes. I can't feel my neck."
"Well, you don't really have a neck anymore, so there's that."
The shock didn't drain out of Octavia so much as it was flushed out by a sudden surge of anger. "Do you know what purpose I serve in this household, Miss Heartstrings?" she said icily.
Lyra didn't seem to notice. "Doctor Heartstrings, technically, but I did just get the degree. What?"
"I play the cello. How am I supposed to do my job if I can neither assume the proper position nor hear the notes?" Redness began to line Octavia's vision as she first noticed the sensitivity of her new nose. Salt and copper smelled a lot better to her now.
"You raise a valid point." Lyra's gaze drifted off as her tone faded to muttering. "Pontiff Zolcov did want as much of the shark head as he could, but he also gave me leeway to ensure you weren't needlessly impaired. This definitely counts. Though we're probably going to need to shuffle some stuff around." Her attention turned back to Octavia. "How attached are you to your tail?"
"Is that a joke?"
"I'm contractually required to infuse a certain minimum of shark into your system, so no."
Octavia sighed. "If it will let me perform, do what you must."
Lyra beamed and sprang back to the other side of the bed. You got it! she cried, loud enough that it actually came in clearer.
The second spell wasn't nearly as bad as the first. Octavia knew what to expect now, at least in terms of the tingling. The sudden stiffness behind her hindquarters came as surprise, but she happily accepted once she flicked her ears. Just having ears to flick was a pleasure.
"Can you hear me now?" said Lyra.
"Quite clearly, thank you."
"Not a problem. Honestly, I'm kind of amazed you could hear anything in air with a shark's auditory system. I suppose it may have been your special talent."
"Possibly. I've always left magic to the mages." Octavia examined herself again, leaving her opinion of one mage in particular unspoken. Her eyes were back to normal along with her ears, as was her neck. Her teeth were still sharklike, and her muzzle still bore a distinctive point. Her coat seemed stiffer and rougher than before all of this started. Most notably of all, her tail was now clearly piscine, with plenty of fins but not a hair to be found.
"So? What do you think?"
Octavia reared up for a few moments then came back down. "I can assume playing position easily enough. If anything, it's a bit like having a fifth leg."
Lyra hummed to herself.
"Whatever you're thinking, I'll thank you for not sharing it."
Lyra tilted her head. "Why? How do you know I won't?"
Octavia gave her best glare, which she felt gained something from snarling with her new teeth. Lyra just smiled and winked. Octavia shook her head and moved to her instrument. "In any case, I suppose I should get some practice in. See how different this new body is." She reared up, wrapped one foreleg around the neck of her cello, and took the bow in the hoof of the other.
Or tried to, anyway.
Lyra considered it. "You know, I wasn't going to say anything, but I did wonder how you were going to make that work."
"What in the..." Octavia carefully set her cello back on its stand, then tried to grab the bow again.
And again.
And again.
"What is going on here!?"
"What should be happening?"
Octavia snapped her head back up. "What do you mean, 'What should be happening?' You are a pony, aren't you?"
Lyra nodded. "Genuine Equunculus monoceros with a few added features." She waved her tail-hand. "Why?"
"How do you get by without thumbs?"
"Telekinesis and biomantic augmentations. And when I was a filly, a mouth."
"Well, those of us who don't have the first two have... call them 'grippy hooves,' I suppose." Octavia scowled at the numb, nubby limbs. "Or I did"
"Yeah, telekinesis. Tactile telekinesis in that case, but still, same magic as what lets me move things with my brain and oh dear."
Octavia looked back up in time to see Lyra's expression droop. "What did you do?"
"On the one hand, I'm hurt that you're accusing me. On one of the hands I don't have anymore—long story—I'm glad to see you're learning." Lyra chewed her lip for a moment. "Suffice to say, your current anatomic configuration might have cut off some mana pathways that would normally go into your forehooves."
"Fix it."
"Look, I have to get you sharked up to a minimum degree, and there are only so many..." Lyra trailed off, then gave a smile so wide, just looking at it made Octavia's lips hurt. "I am a flipping genius!"
Octavia would've backed away from the other mare if she'd had anywhere to go. "What precisely do you have planned?"
"No one said all of the shark features had to replace preexisting ones or be on the outside. Besides, this job's for an Orzhov pontiff; he'll hardly be in a position to complain if I interpret the contract a little creatively." Lyra's eyes sparkled in a not entirely sane way. "So, I'm going to activate some latent genes on your pony side. Some pegasus will make your body happily build something where your wings would be, though in this case, it'll be pectoral fins. Not that they'll actually be pectoral, but you get the idea. The unicorn genes can shift your magical output a little, generate a constant telekinetic reinforcement that will take enough slack off your bones that we can make them cartilaginous. Sound good?"
"Could you perhaps rephrase that for the laypony?"
"Better idea!" Lyra ignited her horn. "I'll show the laypony!"
Once again, Octavia found herself wishing she could more distance between Lyra and herself. "What happened to that 'pile of tumors' situation you mentioned?"
"Relax, I know exactly what I'm doing!"
The Council of Speakers did not meet often. The highest members of the Simic Combine preferred to let experiments unfold with minimum interference, and in any case had responsibilities of their own to attend to.
And yet, they convened for the second time in less than a year, and for the same reason.
Prime Speaker Zegana rubbed her temples. The merwoman's hands lingered near the upper jaw of her hat, as though resisting the urge to draw it down over her face. "And I take it that that was the final hybridization?"
"Yes, Prime Speaker," said a subdued Lyra.
"I believe you have an image handy for those members of the Council who have not yet had the opportunity to witness the specimen firsthand?"
"Yes, Prime Speaker." Lyra lit her horn, projecting an illusion of a great white shark with wings in place of its pectoral fins, treble clefs emblazoning its dorsal fin, a luxurious ebon mane, and what was either a misplaced tooth or an enormous dendrite erupting from the middle of its forehead.
"And you say that Miss Melody-of-Zolcov still retains her sapience?"
"Yes, Prime Speaker. Totally intact, if not outright enhanced. That level of sarcasm cannot come from a primitive mind."
Zegana hummed to herself. "Needless to say, this particular sequence will be classified and restricted to a select few master biomancers until we have thoroughly examined it and its wider ramifications."
"Actually..." Lyra's lip was starting to hurt from how much she'd been chewing on it lately.
Zegana buried her face in her hands. "You've already made more, haven't you?"
"In my defense, who among you wouldn't try?" Lyra nodded as the council members all shifted about, unable to meet her eyes. "Besides, it doesn't work."
"What do you mean," Zegana slowly said, "it doesn't work?"
"I tried it on a few friends. On any other pony, the last hybridization formula just produces the shark-pony krasis I had planned. Miss Melody-of-Karlov has some kind of extragenetic X factor that no one could've anticipated." Lyra shrugged. "Sharks appear to be, for lack of a better term, her spirit animal."
"We will, of course, confirm this independently."
"Of course."
Zegana looked about the room. Several of the other speakers almost shook with their unspoken questions and comments. "We have much to discuss. For now, you are to return to Zonot Three and resume your research there." After a brief pause, she added, "And please, Lyra, try to avoid causing any more incidents for at least a year this time."
Lyra gave a rueful smile. "I'll do what I can, Prime Speaker, but I can't make any promises."
About two months later, Twilight Sparkle, with the help of her faithful assistant and a friend's guild signet, became Ravnica's first kirin. Octavia performed at the following party by special request, playing with magic from her tooth-horn.
Lyra hid.
Author's Note
Sharktavia Ascendant WBGU
Legendary Creature — Fish Mutant
Alicorn (This card is a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Flying, first strike, lifelink, trample
Whenever you gain life, put a +1/+1 counter on Sharktavia Ascendant.
3/3
Why i? Because this qualifies as an Elseworld story even for Sharktavia. Also, Syeekoh let me get away with it.
