It was all over. The definitive vote count was the final shout of joy to everything that had led to this point. I land onto the lush green grass.
Now, I’m sure you’ve all had a great epiphany in your lives, even though laziness or social oppression quashed that thought: ‘Gee, winter sucks! How come we have to have it?’. Some might have even taken some steps to fight against this arbitrary imposition, all attempts ending up in failure if last year’s winter is anything to go by. But not this year! This is the year when ponykind begins to realize how senseless winter is and gets rid of it once and for all.
Right, back to how to stop winter. Your first attempt might be a letter to the weather bureau asking pretty please to — sorry, sorry, can’t even think this without laughing like a madmare. The weather bureau is the crustiest of bureaucracies; you’d have more chances writing a letter to Santa Hooves than dealing with a bunch of old geezers more set in their ways than the Canterhorn. More experienced ponies might jump straight to sabotage, which is far closer to the mark but, trust me on this, it’s not enough: Undoing the work of a weather team or annoying them to submission just can’t be done by a single pony, no matter how awesome, and any measure of success would get you some alone time with your shadow, your thoughts and the occasional constabulary doing their rounds. And it’s really hard to un-brainwash enough ponies to help you out here, not to mention that would just get the attention of the Royal Guard, maybe even the Wonderbolts.
Smarter ponies might realize that without cold air there is no winter and destroy the supplies used to create everything cold in the weather factory. And an uninformed pony might believe that’s exactly how winter was stopped and try to replicate it. But it’s not that simple: Not only is the weather factory one of the most secured buildings in Equestria, making it impossible to everypony but the stealthiest infiltrators to get the job done, there are also strategic stockpiles of the stuff all around Equestria! And big ones too, not just to fight the rare heatwave! Which is where the real trick comes into play: Getting sent as Ponyville’s representative to the emergency weather meeting to plan around all that missing cold and offer to reroute all the winter-y weather away from Ponyville, ‘sacrificing’ one’s town so that ‘the rest of Equestria can enjoy the winter they had been waiting for all year long’ (Yeah yeah, I’m good at this whole politics thingie, watch out Twi!).
Oh! And before we finish off here, my lawyer tells me to tell ponies this: my and my pet tortoise’s (get it right!) presence in the immediacy of the weather factory the same day all that cold was destroyed is a fortuitous accident; no conclusive proof has emerged putting either of us inside the facilities that day, let alone tampering with all those storage tanks. And any conjecture based solely on my public, perfectly reasonable opinions regarding winter can and will be prosecuted as slander. Gottagonowbye!
Ah, back in Ponyville, finally! I thought those meetings were never gonna end. I mean, did nopony pay attention to the mare missing some excellent flying time with her pet tortoise? And what was going on with the princesses? I can see how this whole situation is kind of a big deal so of course it would be one of the very few times they cashed in on their standing invitation to any and all weather meetings, but it seemed as if all they did was stare at me with the kind of look AJ gives ‘Bloom after a particularly destructive crusade. Especially when I so expertly shot down a proposal to bring in snow and cold from the areas surrounding the Crystal Empire and other wild zones (“We’d just be moving the problem somewhere else, in places we don’t know what effect our meddling will have on the medium and long term and which will fight tooth and nail if it turns out we have to compensate for the stuff we took. And really, does any of you honestly think the Yaks would simply sit back idly and make no complaints?”).
That’s all over now luckily; the only item left in my mental “stop winter” checklist now is a whole not-winter with Tank. And the increased workload to keep Ponyville’s (and Whitetail’s and surrounding farms’) hotter air from wafting into the rest of Equestria and vice-versa. Plus the demands all the farms are piling up on Ponyville’s weather team: according to them, all that snow on the ground kept the topmost soil (“T’ important bit Rainbow”, as AJ rudely reminded me like a broken record on my meeting with the farmers) wettish and protected from the winds, so that means near-constant windless drizzle on all farms, and even more work for us. But, in the end it’s all worth it, and we are getting help straight from the weather bureau for what’s being called “hot bubble” (no prizes for guessing who came up with it; I still can’t believe it stuck).
Hibernating and migratory animals? Migratory animals have no problem, even if Fluttershy had to coax them a bit to leave. As for the hibernating ones; it took some doing, but with Fluttershy helping we managed to find some really nice spots beyond the bubble. And all the thanks we got in return was endless complaining about how far they had to walk (judging by Fluttershy’s chiding, quite a few of them are lucky I don’t speak animal). You really think I hadn’t thought of that with how long I’ve been friends with Fluttershy?
Ponies disappointed from the lack of Hearth's Warming atmosphere? Yeah, quite a few actually. Isn’t it weird tho? I mean, the whole point of the festivities is celebrating the ~~three~~six ponies that stopped the Windigos and therefore stopped the snowing! If anything this not-winter is the true spirit of Hearth's Warming! Ponies stop complaining when I tell them this; could do without those weird looks though. And all those business owners complaining about reduced sales can go eat some Sweet Apple Acres’ finest; Hearth's Warming should be about friends and family, not the gifts and rampant commercialism! (Speaking of, Filthy better have some real stock of Wonderbolt’s action figures, don’t want a repeat of last year’s).
Ugh, less thinking, more hanging out with Tank! “C’mon Tank, what do you wanna do? Play on Ponyville Park? A relaxing flight through Whitetail? Laze about while re-reading the latest Daring Do? Next one’s coming soon now, might wanna have the latest one fresh! Tank? You okay? Want to just fly around Ponyville, see if we can find anything to do? Okay then, let’s do that!” Mare, Tank’s still being really quiet; we’ll have to visit Fluttershy soon.
Flying around town one’d think somepony really liked died; by and large the happiest ponies I see (not counting Pinkie because Pinkie) still look rather melancholic. Huh; what’s the big deal with a bunch of solidified water? Sure, snow can be fun, but don’t ponies see how annoying it is? Ok, ok, stop thinking about other — wait, is that…?
“Tank! Over there, it’s Scoots! Let’s land and say hi!” I touch ground loudly on purpose and brace for that bundle of energy to glomp my forelegs. And keep waiting. After what feels like an eternity I feel Tank landing near me, and still no reaction from Scootaloo. Alright, I can work with this. “Hey squirt! Mind not looking down for a sec?” I ask, loudly.
That gets a reaction from her. After being startled for a bit and shaking it off, she finally looks to me.
“Oh, Rainbow! Uh, how’s it going? Tank’s doing ok?” she starts asking. But something in her voice sounds wrong, like she’s desperately trying to hide how bad she feels. I can tell because she sounds just like me when I’m trying to desperately hide how bad I feel. What’s going on with you squirt?
Best play dumb for now, see if she tumbles. “Fine, just enjoying the warm day. Wanna hang out and do something outside? Just you, me, and Tank here.” C’mon Tank, up and at’em! “Unless you want to bring more ponies?” This oughta perk her right up.
It doesn’t. “Oh! Well, uh, gee, I’d love to Dash but, erm, I’m busy! Yep, lots of homework waiting for me at home, and I promised to help with the chores. Maybe next time?” Jeez Scootaloo, even Twilight’s fake smiles are more believable than yours right now.
Wait, right beside her, is that…? “Hey, is that a snowboard right there?”
“Snowboard? What snowboard? I don’tseeany —” My face must have a seriously unimpressed look, because the squirt quickly deflates and starts looking at her hooves “— yes, it’s my snowboard”.
Seems like she really was looking forward to winter. So was I, until I realized its darker side; let’s see if I can get Scoots around to my way of thinking. “Betcha really wanted to tear down through the snow.”
“Yeah…”
“But it’s not that different from your scooter, right? Heck, maybe we can build up a sandboard hill! Just gotta—”
“Don’t worry Rainbow, you don’t have to do that for me. And yes, snowboarding is different from both sandboarding and my scooter.”
“How? It looks pretty much the same to me.”
“Compared to sandboarding? I’d be doing it outside of town, with little or no ponies up and about. As for my scooter, the differences in the snow day to day makes riding a bit more exciting, ponies in winter just seem more chipper somehow—” not you too squirt “—and, and…”
“...And?”
After a long pause she answers: “The cold wind feels really nice on my wings.”
Cold wind? What’s so special about feeling the cold wind in your wings? And why would she be so embarrassed to admit— oh. Ohhhhh. Good job at making me feel bad there champ. And I can’t offer her anything to compensate. Just taking her for a flight won’t give her the control she has while snowboarding; the nearest sky center — or even the nearest small settled zone for that matter — are at least half a day’s trot away; the weather factory officials told —
“Rainbow? Are you okay? Look, I’m sad there’s not gonna be a winter in Ponyville this year, but I understand that the winter weather is stretched thin, and I trust you had very good reasons to make us the only town in Equestria without winter.”
Just one, and I don’t even have to check to know he’s sleeping like a log right next to me. Way to twist the knife. “Yeah, I’m fine. And thanks, what you just said really means a lot to me. Wanna hang out still?”
“Not today, I really wasn’t lying about the homework. See you tomorrow Rainbow!”
I manage a “See ya Scoots!” before she starts galloping toward her home, somewhat happier. Meanwhile, I have to nudge Tank five times or so before he reacts, and even then he’s a lot slower than usual. Time to face the music.
“Guess the warm weather on its own is still not enough to stop you from you-know-what?” A wan smile and a nod.
“I really screwed up all of this, didn’t I?” A head shake, the smile as firmly in place as his sleepiness allows. Oh Tank, I really don’t deserve you.
“Well, let’s head on home then! We have a lot to do!” I pick Tank up, give him the warmest nuzzle I can, place him on my back and take off.
First thing tomorrow, gotta talk to Pinkie. She has to know a pony that can repair the Weather Factory, or even try her hoof at it herself! That’d mean dropping off by Twilight’s to have her cast that cloud-walking spell on Pinkie. Hm, now that I think about it, she’d also be a great help in trying to fix all that machinery, if only by keeping Pinkie in focus. Then we’d need water, and lots of it. I’m pretty sure that our weather team combined by the pegasi maintaining the bubble can have that in Cloudsdale lickety-split, and all those ponies are technically under my command. Are there Windigos still around? That’s probably the easiest solution, maybe Twi has a book on them?....
Author's Note
This fic brought to you by Rule 19 
