Three and a Half Mares

by SurprisePinkiePinkiePie

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Sex, Discord, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Other, Princess Luna, Drama, Comedy, Horror, Clover the Clever
Length: 44514

The Core 7 (from G3 and G3.5) are in the middle of a fun day of games when Ponyville is erased by a monster. Ponies they used to be friends with now hate them over silly things like races or don't remember them at all. How will they survive?

NOTE: IF YOU DISLIKE OR HAVE NOT WATCHED G3 OR G3.5, THIS FIC IS NOT RECCOMENDED FOR YOU. Blame Discord for the......strange chapter numbers. Crossover with G1, G3.5, G3, G2 and G1.5. To clarify: Contrary to popular belief, G2 was just toys and the Friendship Gardens game from the late 90's(I'd give you a link but Google exists), and G1.5 was the MLP Tales cartoon from the early 90's, and the G1.5 characters were made as G1 toys, so it makes no sense for them to be G2. Crappy trailer can be found here.

Life was just fun and games until he showed up. Until Ponyville was deleted, until the world went mad. Until the Unicorns became all obsessed with showing us all that they're the master race and the Pegasi declared war on anything and everything and the 'horses' arrived. Until the forest flooded and it stated to rain chocolate milk. Until we started taking orders from a Unicorn who would rather die than take off her cloak.

Nopony knows much about the history of Ponyland. After the founding of Equestria, it stopped being compulsory in schools and by the time Celestia was crowned everypony had forgotten, and she never wanted to talk about it. Everypony assumed it was before she was born or she didn't remember. As Twilight Sparkle is about to find out, THIS is how brutal history could get.

Rated T for badly described gore and occasional references to sex, as well as pregnancy starting in chapter 22, so unless you're taking lying about your age to get onto Fimfiction to the logical extreme it shouldn't be too much for you. And in case the ridiculous number of somewhat-contrasting tags confuse you: Half of it is genuinely meaningful (or at least intended to be), and half is fourth wall jokes and other forms of humour. Although most of the meaningful parts are in scenarios so ridiculous that it's hard to describe it to a friend without them laughing.

Published 2017-04-07 23:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-08 07:59:49 UTC

1: The Beginning of the End

Author's Note

In case you couldn't tell, this is G3. Before someone points out that this is called fimfiction, and FIM stands for Friendship Is Magic, it's a crossover with G4 (and also Tales and G1, but through most of this story that'll just be in easter eggs, I'll make a prequel at some point). Just thought I should say so because some of the names are the same as in G4 and you might assume that Minty and Toola-Roola and StarSong were my OC's.

1: The Beginning of the End

"This.....is......AWESOME!"

"SCOOTALOO! You- get- back- here- right- NOW!"

Cheerilee growled a little as she galloped down the hill after her sister. By the time she finally caught up with the younger filly, Scootaloo was lying next to a tree, the scooter some few meters away, still rolling. She got up, shook her head, grinning, and tore the blindfold off. Cheerilee glared, and they spoke at the exact same time.

"I told you blindfolded hill scootering was a good idea!"

"I told you blindfolded hill scootering was a terrible idea!"

Rainbow Dash caught up with them. "It did seem rather foolish, darling."

"Of course it was foolish," snapped Cheerilee. "You could have gotten yourself killed! What on Earth were you thinking?"

"It was fun!" protested Scootaloo.

"It sure wouldn't be fun if you died!"

"Let's just be happy she's okay!" decided Pinkie Pie as she caught up with them. StarSong flew down towards them and nodded in agreement. "Although it was a silly idea..."

"It was not, it was super duper fun!"

"That doesn't make it any smarter!" shouted Cheerilee. "Don't you ever do that again, you nearly gave me a heart attack! What the heck is-"

"Cheerilee!" scolded Pinkie Pie. "Language!"

"Pinkie Pie!" called a voice. "You promised you would try on socks with me!"

They all turned and saw the familiar green mare. "Minty!" laughed Pinkie Pie. "Sorry, Scootaloo was inventing a new game and I lost track of time."

"Ooh, can I play?"

"Err...."

Minty was pretty much a walking disaster, as all of them knew, at one point even managing to almost ruin Christmas. None of them were mean enough to even admit it to themselves, let alone tell the poor mare. On the other hoof, blindfolded hill scootering was dangerous enough.....

"I have an idea!" decided Pinkie Pie. "Minty, we can go and get Sweetie Belle and Toola-Roola, and then we can get Toola-Roola to paint us wearing socks while Sweetie Belle makes cake!"

"Mint cake?"

"Sure!"

"Alright then!"

The two friends galloped off happily. "So," muttered Scootaloo. "Who's up for a blindfold downhill scooter race?"

"Scootaloo! Are you a freaking idiot?"

"Gee," muttered StarSong. "For somepony so protective of her, you're certainly not being a good role model in terms of language!"

"Oi!" snapped Cheerilee. "Let's see you take care of another pony!"

At that moment Rainbow Dash noticed something purple dashing towards her. The next thing she knew she was on the ground, a familiar mare piled on top of her. "Kimono?"

It took a few minutes for the others to recognize the pony as Kimono. As she stood up, her mane fell out of the Japanese-style bun it was always so neatly tucked into, this time being loose and messy, and she didn't even bother to fix it up. Her coat was covered in dirt and twigs and bits of grass. "Run." she breathed.

"Kimono?" asked StarSong. "Are you okay?"

"Run!" the purple pony repeated. "There's something outside of town- massive snakey thing- it has wings- horns- arms and legs- different hands-"

"What do you mean?" pressed Scootaloo, moving a little closer to her sister.

"There's a monster. And it's on its way to Ponyville."

"M-M-M-M-M-Monster?" stammered Scootaloo. Cheerilee shook her head. "Monsters aren't real, everypony knows that!"

"This one is. Trust me."

"Are you sure?" asked Rainbow Dash. "If there really is a monster, we should warn the rest of-"

"There's no time," Kimono insisted. "I'm sorry, but we'd just put ourselves in more danger by warning the others.

Scootaloo scoffed. "Relax, I'll just dash over to Minty's house and tell them, it's gonna be fine!"

"Scootaloo," warned Cheerilee.

But the orange pony was already on her way.

No time? Kimono was being rediculous. There was enough time for her to get to Ponyville and the monster still hadn't arrived. Maybe it wasn't coming at all. Maybe it wasn't real. Of course she would be able to go and warn Pinkie Pie, Minty, Toola-Roola and Sweetie Belle! In fact, if everypony got together they could warn at least all of Ponyville, if not Ponyland...

It wasn't long before she found herself in front of the door. She raised her front hoof and knocked. It was a few seconds before the door swung in to reveal the familiar green mare. "Hi, Scootaloo-"

"Kimono says there's a monster coming to Ponyville!"

Minty laughed. "Monsters? Monsters aren't real, silly!"

"Kimono said so-"

She was cut off by the familiar sound of rain pouring down outside. "Weird," muttered Scootaloo. "It was nice and sunny a minute ago- woah! Chocolate milk!"

They both stared out the window. Instead of the clear water they were both used to, thick drops of pale brown liquid were coming from the sky. Pinkie Pie galloped into the room to greet them. "Raining chocolate milk? That's not right...."

"Did somepony say chocolate milk?" asked Sweetie Belle excitedly, trotting outside. Toola-Roola followed. "Am I the only one who finds this weird?"

"Nope," answered Minty. "In fact, I think it's only those two-" she gestured towards the two foals- "that aren't confused."

At that moment a rather large sheep floated in through the wall and violently exploded, covering everything in glitter.

"Okay," coughed Scootaloo, shaking glitter out of her mane. "Maybe this is a little weird."

"It must be the monster!" screamed Sweetie Belle, ducking under the table. Pinkie Pie stared out the window. Not a pony- or monster- in sight. Still, knowing it was better to be safe than sorry, she turned to Scootaloo. "You'd better go. Cheerilee will be worried."

Scootaloo nodded and galloped off. Pinkie Pie stared out of the window. Monster? Monsters weren't real, she knew that. They were imaginary, make-believe, fake......but Kimono was no liar.....

She heard a crash and turned sharply. It looked like a part of the roof had fallen down, landing where Minty's head had been just a second ago. She looked up. There was no hole in the roof.

"Come out, my little ponies!" said an icy voice. "Come on out, and I'll show you how to really have fun....."

Sweetie Belle screamed. "It's the m-m-m-m-m-monster!"

Pinkie Pie turned to the others. "Gallop. I'll catch up."

"Don't be crazy-" began Minty.

"Just go!"

"Fine by me!" decided Sweetie Belle, galloping outside and out of view. Toola-Roola followed but Minty stayed behind. "Pinkie Pie, I can't just leave you here!"

"Just gallop! I don't want you getting hurt!"

"Are you sure?"

"Go, you idiot!"

"Okay....."

Pinkie Pie backed towards the door, waiting for the monster to show itself.

That was when she saw it.

Discord.

2: Easy as Pinkie Pie

Author's Note

The first part is Pinkie's POV

2: Easy as Pinkie Pie

Massive snake thing. But with a pony's head. And arms and legs. One arm ends in a lion's paw and the other in a birdish set of claws. One leg seems to belong to a dragon, and the other one might be a pony, I don't even know. Wings, too: one dark blue and one light blue. And two horns on his head, a blue crooked one and a white antler.

This must be Kimono's monster.

"What do you want?" I demanded, praying he wasn't going to hurt the others.

"Pinkie Pie!" he said happily. "Why does that name scare me? Must be something that hasn't happened yet. My life is very confusing, what with all the time travel...."

"H-how do you know my name?" I demanded.

"Oh, I have my ways. Parents are rather lazy nowadays, aren't they? 'Oh wow, after eleven months of pregnancy and a few weeks of trying for a foal we just realised we don't have a name! Err......Pinkie Pie!' Still, at least Cheerilee isn't a Pinkie Pie. So, you told Greeny Pie, Whitey Pie and the other one to leave you here? Perfect......now I have you all to myself....."

"What do you mean-"

He snapped his bird claws and suddenly I knew.

--I know everything now. It all makes sense. I even know how Equestria will be made. It will start with a little girl named Pinkie Pie. Me? No, this one has a darker mane and tail. She's my granddaughter, I think. Yes, and she works at a rock farm, and one day she sees this super cool rainbow and it gives her this amazing hairstyle, and then she-

Wait, what's Equestria? I really need to start starting at the beginning. I know everything now. Everything......everything.....everything......

Too much knowledge......I can't handle it.....Too much.........Too much.....

Not enough. I need more.

"Hey, Toola-Roola- wait for me-"

Rainbow Dash turned. For a second it looked like some idiot had covered the side of the tree in leaves, but as she looked closer she recognized Minty. "Minty? What are you-"

The green mare simply moved away from the tree she had bumped into and galloped away. Scootaloo stared. "Ooh, this game seems fun!"

She followed the older mare, grinning. "How do you play this game?"

"Game?" spluttered Minty. "This isn't a game! There's a monster!"

"Don't be silly!" scoffed StarSong. "Monsters aren't real!"

"Suit yourself!" snapped Minty. "But I'm not sticking around to find out!"

She galloped away. Cheerilee stared. "You don't think-"

"Trust me." answered Rainbow Dash. "Monsters are imaginary, darling!"

At that moment she felt something dripping onto her coat. She stared up. Drops of pale brown liquid were starting to fall from the sky. "Is this-"

"Mmmmm!" muttered Scootaloo, licking her hoof. "Chocolate milk!"

"Scootaloo!" snapped Cheerilee. "Don't just drink anything that comes out of the sky, that could have been poison!"

"Yeah, but it wasn't!"

"Hang on," asked StarSong. "Why is it raining chocolate milk?"

That was the least of their problems; Scootaloo thought it was pretty cool. So cool it took a moment for her to notice the blackness.

But for a little filly scared of the dark it was still only a second before she saw the entire town becoming darker in colour by the second. Rooves that were normally bright pink were turning to darker and darker pink, to reddish-brown, to greyish-pink, and then a colour nopony could deny had no traces of pink, and then black. Pitch black.

They galloped. They didn't know if anypony else had come with them, or what happened when ponies turned black like that. They just galloped, and they kept galloping until they got out of Ponyville. They were near Kimono's house when they looked back, still backing away in fear. They wished they had kept going.

The town where they had built so many memories, lived for all their lives, where all their friends but each other (and Kimono) and their family lived, the town they loved, their home.......gone. Just a veil of pitch black so thick nopony could see a thing.

Finally they black began to fade, first at the top, slowly starting to reveal the blue sky. Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash, Cheerilee and StarSong sighed in relief. But something was wrong. It just kept revealing the blue sky. It never got to the rooves of the houses, never revealed the windows or the lovely flowers. When finally there was no black left at all, all they saw was a patch of grass.

"I- I think we'll be safe here-" mumbled Minty as she caught up to Toola-Roola and Sweetie Belle. "Do you know if Pinkie Pie is okay?"

"I haven't seen her," answered Sweetie Belle. "She'll be here soon."

Minty bit her lip. "I hope she's okay..."

"Don't worry!" insisted Toola-Roola. "She's smart, she'll be fine."

"What if she's turned into a helicopter?"

"Dont' be silly! This isn't some fanfiction written by a twelve-year-old about a cartoon from years ago!"

At that moment they heard the familiar buzz of a helicopter. They looked up and saw Pinkie Pie, spinning her tail around at what looked like the speed of light and somehow managing to fly. "Woah!" Minty gasped. "The monster turned her into a pegasus!"

"Yeah, Minty," muttered Toola-Roola. "That's exactly why she's spinning her tail. Like a helicopter."

The pink pony landed next to them. "Hey, Minty! Toola-Roola! Thweetie Belle!Gueth what?"

"Err," guessed Sweetie Belle. "Your lisp suddenly got ten times as obvious?"

"I found the monthter and gueth what? He taught me the meaning of life!"

"The meaning of life?" repeated Minty. Already she was starting to consider that her friend had gone mad.

"No she isn't!" snapped Pinkie Pie. "Minty's my friend, she would never think I'm mad!"

"Who are you talking to?" asked Sweetie Belle, looking around.

"Duh, the narrator!"

"The who?"

"The narrator, the pothitively pink narrator!" She laughed. "Oh, I forgot you three are thtill ignorant. Disthcord taught me. He thaid that the fourth wall ith for lotherths!"

"The fourth wall?" asked Minty. "What's that?"

Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes. "You are thooo ignorant! Anyway, the meaning of life ith......"

She grinned, using her tail as a helicopter again and hovering above the ground. "Thcrew logic!"

"I can see that!" laughed Minty. "Let me try!"

She shoved her flank into the air like a filly showing off her Cutie Mark and spun her tail around as fast as she could. "Am I flying yet?"

"Not yet," answered Toola-Roola. "Maybe if you spin faster."

Nothing.

Minty stared at Pinkie Pie. "So how does she do it?"

2+2: Rosamena Diane Pie

Author's Note

The first part is Pinkie's POV

2+2: Rosamena Diane Pie

Hi guyth! I'm Rothamena Diane Pie but you can call me Pinkie Pie. Dithcord taught me thome pretty important thingth.

I might be a little more grateful if he had been bothered to correct the damage, though. I can't thtop thinking with a lithp. When I wath little my lithp wath really notitheable, maybe I could try thome of the thingth that worked then. Ssssssssweetie Belle. SsssstarSsssong. Sssscootaloo. Wait, do half of my friend'sssss namesss really sssstart with s? Never thought about that before. Interesssting.

"Pinkie Pie," athked a voithe. "Can you teach me to do the tail helicopter thing?"

Oh, it'th Minty. "It'th one of the thingth mathter Dithcord taught me. He altho taught me how to thpeak and think in Fixedthyth inthtead of Microthoft Thans Therif like normal."

"Wait, what?" asked Minty. She looked contherned now. "And, Pinkie....that sounded just like you normally speaking...."

"My name ith Rothamena Diane Pie!" I thnapped, thuddenly angry even though I knew she had no way of knowing my new name. She thtared. "Err.....okay, Rosamena...Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeth, thith ith the betht I've ever felt in my life! Why do you athk?"

"Err.....no reason....."

Why doeth she look tho thcared? Tho contherned? I'm not crathy, I just underthtand more than them. It'th not my fault Mathter Dithcord taught me! Although I thuppothe it'th only a matter of time before I do. Hehehehe! I'm thurprised I'm thtill thane after theeing how the world will end.

If Minty, Toola-Roola and Sweetie Belle hadn't thought Pinkie Pie was mad before, they sure did now.

One one hoof, she seemed to suddenly not obey by the laws of physics. On their way out of Ponyville they had gotten lost and it had started raining chocolate milk again. At one point Pinkie Pie had pulled a glass out of nowhere, filled it up with chocolate milk, drank the glass as the milk stayed there like she was holding it in place with magic, then used the rain to make another cup form around it and offered it to Minty.

Minty hadn't quite been able to swallow it.

On the other hoof, she was still convinced she was talking to the narrator, speaking in different fonts, and thinking with a lisp. What was even worse was that they weren't sure if she was actually crazy or if she really did have some sort of weird knowledge. Every single time they thought something important, Pinkie would shout about how they would never think that. It was eerily coincidental.

"Right then," muttered Toola-Roola. "So, do we have any plans for getting home?"

Everypony gave her a look. Then she realised. Pinkie Pie was probably insane, Sweetie Belle was far too young to take charge, and Minty was......well, Minty was Minty. That left one pony left to assume some sort of unofficial leadership role.

Pinkie Pie couldn't help but snap. "I am NOT probably inthane! I am either definitely inthane or definitely thane, I haven't figured out which yet. And 'Minty wath, well, Minty wath Minty'? What ith that thuppothed to mean? And-"

"Rosamena, who are you talking to?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"I told you, the narrator!"

Toola-Roola rolled her eyes. "Whatever, as long as we can find a way home.

"Hey," muttered Pinkie, tuning back to Minty and rubbing her hooves over her face, grabbing random parts of her skin and distorting it. "Bet'cha can't make a fathe crathier than.....THITH!"

All of a sudden her face was almost completely round, apart from the way her nose stuck out. Not only that, but her mane was now a curly mess, same for her tail. Minty stared. "Pinkie Pie? What did you do?"

"Pinkie Pie? Who'th Pinkie Pie? My name ith Rothamena Diane Pie."

"Alright then- wait-"

She blinked and 'Rosamena' was back to normal. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Do- oh forget it!"

"Err.....guys....." mumbled Sweetie Belle.

"Yeah," began Toola-Roola. "What is it- hey, I think I can see StarSong!"

She galloped off. Minty stared at her, then turned to the other two. "Err.....I guess you'll have to wait a minute, Sweetie."

"But-"

"Toola-Roola will be back in a second."

Sweetie Belle nodded.

None of them quite realised that the monster had used magic to make it rain chocolate. He had used magic to allow Pinkie Pie to think she was Rosamena Diane Pie and throw physics out the window. He had used magic to delete Ponyville. He had used magic for a lot of other things, too, mostly making himself coffee out of thin air.

So much magic, in the air, and there wasn't a single Unicorn to channel it for miles. Not a single Unicorn except for a little filly, the youngest in her friend group, who was at that point absorbing more magic than adult ponies normally had in their systems.

After a few seconds Minty, 'Rosamena' and finally Sweetie Belle followed Toola-Roola. Sure enough they found her talking to StarSong, with Rainbow Dash, Cheerilee and Scootaloo close behind.

"You're here!" exclaimed Minty before tripping over the carbon dioxide in the air and falling over, awkwardly getting up. "Do you know the way to Ponyville?"

Scootaloo shook her head. "Gone."

"What do you mean?" asked Toola-Roola.

"Gone."

"It-" stammered Rainbow Dash. "There- there was this black thing that covered Ponyville, and then the black vanished, and- and- just a patch of grass-"

"But that's impossible!" protested Minty. "Things can't just vanish into thin air!"

"They can't?" asked Pinkie Pie. "It'th jutht a thimple matter of altering the time-thpace continuum, I could do that if I wanted to!"

Cheerilee stared. "It's a long story," muttered Toola-Roola. "In fact, I'm still not quite sure what-"

She was interupted by StarSong suddenly seeming to move around the sky above the seven without even moving her legs. It was like some sort of a glitch in a video game, she moved so fast. She screamed. "What's happening?!"

"Oh," answered Pinkie Pie casually, as if she had just been asked what she had done on the weekend. "jutht an airquake. Thee?"

As if to prove a point, she casually stuck her flank into the air and started spinning her tail like a helicopter. After a few seconds she began to float upwards and started moving around like her pegasus friend. "Thee? It'll be over in a few minuteth."

"We'll explain later," added Toola-Roola when she noticed the others staring. "StarSong? Are you okay? Can you get down?"

"I-I-" stammered StarSong. She slowly began to move downwards. Pinkie Pie somehow managed to tail-helicopter-hover towards her, holding out her hoof. "Grab my hoof!"

The purple pony nodded weakly, reaching her front leg over and grabbing Pinkie's. She finally relaxed her wings- if an Earthpony with no flight magic could hold herself up by spinning her tail, surely she could hold her too. Pinkie smiled. Then they both vanished and reappeared on the ground. Minty raised an eyebrow. "Looks like physics went on a vacation!"

Scootaloo kicked a stone. "No fair! How come physics gets to go on a vacation before me? I want to go on a vacation!"

Cheerilee sighed. "Scootaloo, that's not what she meant- and this is the worst possible time for us to go on a vacation-"

"Err....guys...." muttered Sweetie Belle.

Too bad she was on the floor before she could finish.

2.5X2: Everchained Forest

Author's Note

The second part is Discord's POV.

2.5X2: Everchained Forest

"Can you tone the glitter down a little?" groaned Celestia, even though she knew it would be no good.

"Fine!" snapped Sparkleworks. Luna sighed. "How can you not like glitter?"

"Systematically speaking, Luna," the older mare snapped. "from a diabolical point of view, your fundamental faculties are insufficiently sophisticated to bombasticate your philosophies."

"Eh?"

"You're stupid, so shut your mouth."

"Err," mumbled Kimono. "Shouldn't we be trying to find a way home?"

Celestia nodded. "I'm pretty sure that we went through a forest, didn't we, Luna? So if we find the forest again we should be able to retrace our steps."

"Right," muttered Luna. "Now, let me think....." She pointed at a random patch of grass. "According to the history some nerd-" she glanced at her sister- "made me learn, that's where the Great Coltenville Fire that started the human war began. Fires start with an ember. Ember was one of the ponies Tirek kidnapped. Another one of the ponies Tirek kidnapped was Applejack- the one from ancient history, not our friend. You can't spell Applejack without apple. The apple never falls far from the tree. Forests have trees. Let's go this way!"

Kimono stared. "Wait a sec-"

"Don't bother," advised Celestia, following her younger sister. "If you think this is troll logic, just wait until your argue with her."

"Holy crap!" yelled Sparkleworks. Celestia glared.

"Don't you dare teach my little sister language like that!"

"Sorry," mumbled Sparkleworks. "but look! There's actually a forest!"

She pointed ahead at a dark cluster of trees. Luna grinned. "Well, duh! We went past the place that started the Great Coltenville Fire, which started with an ember, and Ember was kidnapped by Tirek, and Applejack was also kidnapped by Tirek, and the apple never falls far from the tree, and trees are in forests!"

"Hang on," asked Celestia. "Didn't I tell you about how there's a forest near the place where the Great Coltenville Fire started?"

"Exactly! And I remembered it by remembering the ponies kidnapped by Tirek!"

"But-" protested Kimono, almost outraged by this instance of using such overly compicated learning strategies. "But- but- oh forget it, let's just find our way back to Ponyville."

High above them, Discord was grinning.

Ha! They think they'll find Ponyville! If only they knew. I wonder when they'll figure it out.

Hang on. They might not. If they get to Kimono's house before Ponyville, they'll just assume that they went the long way by mistake and go back. No shocking blow of Ponyville being gone. Boring!

If there's no shock of Ponyville being gone, why should I keep them here? Let's see......that's Everchained Forest. What to do? Fill it with monsters?

No, they would just run. Maybe I could take them somewhere else.......yes, that seems good. Maybe that weird undiscovered country where I made it always be a rainy day, without even a night? Yeah, there's a forest there......

I click my fingers. That should make stuff work normally in the forest over there. Oh wait, the forest needs a name. Err, opposite of Everchained......How about Everfree?

Yes. Perfectl I snap my gingers again, grinning. The forest below me changed a little, the trees seeming darker. Now to test it.....

I snap my fingers a third time and cotton candy clouds fill the sky. Well, most of it. Sure enough, as chocolate milk pours down, the trees don't get a single drop on them.

Perfect.

Luna groaned. "We've been walking for ages!"

"We've been walking for half an hour!" said Celestia through gritted teeth.

"That is ages!"

"No it isn't!" snapped Kimono. "Besides, we'll be done in a minute! See, if you look closely you can see the grass...."

Luna peered between the trees and immediately galloped forward. Sparkleworks rolled her eyes. "If you die then I'm not doing the paperwork!"

Celestia dashed ahead upon hearing those words. If only she was any good at sport; as it was, by the time she got to Luna a passing snail had travelled around the world several times and broken the sound barrier. Granted, said snail had been granted super speed powers and wings when Discord got bored with it. Nonetheless, the snail beating her so badly did nothing to improve her self esteem.

She growled, standing under a tree as she saw her sister happily jumping into a puddle. "I galloped faster than ever before for this?"

She noticed it was raining. Like, really raining. Heavily. Upon looking properly she saw Luna hadn't really jumped into a puddle so much as simply jumped. The whole ground was knee-deep in water. Well, she presumed it would be knee-deep for her. For Luna it was a miracle she hadn't drowned.

"How long has it been raining for?" choked Kimono. These didn't seem like conditions for a flood- the water was high enough that had physics been anywhere but out the window the forest would be soaking too.

"Just be greatful it isn't raining chocolate milk," advised Sparkeworks, jumping into the water and splashing them all. Celestia growled. "Oi! Don't-"

Splash.

She flinched as another wave crashed over her, glaring at her sister. "Cut it out!"

Before she knew it Kimono was in on it too. She growled, then giggled as she jumped in with them. Soon they four had started a fun game of splashing each other, as opposed to just splashing the one pony who told them not to. Soon they had completely forgotten that they were lost, that they had no idea where Ponyville was.

And they didn't even notice they were on the other side of the world.

III x II: The Magic Outside Of You

Author's Note

The last paragraph is Toola-Roola's POV

III x II: The Magic Outside Of You

"Sweetie Belle?"

Scootaloo galloped over to her friend. "Sweetie Belle?"

Cheerilee stared expectantly at Pinkie Pie, who glared. "Ith it alwayth my job to deliver the expothition?"

"Can't you ask the narrator?" asked Minty.

"Don't be thilly! Why would the narrator reveal thuch an important plot point?"

StarSong, Toola-Roola and Rainbow Dash all kneeled over the young Unicorn. "Sweetie Belle?" asked StarSong. "Can you hear me?"

"Wake up!" snapped Scootaloo, shaking her younger friend. Cheerilee gasped. "Stop! You don't know what you're doing!"

Yet it was only a second before Sweetie Belle's eyelids fluttered open. "Thweetie Belle!" gasped Pinkie Pie. "Are you okay?"

The filly opened her mouth weakly. After a few seconds her horn began to glow. Cheerilee stared. "Doesn't that happen when Unicorns do magic?"

Before she could think of an explanation she was knocked backwards by something. Looking up she saw the area around Sweetie Belle seemed to be glowing. The little filly stood up, looking uncertain, and before any of the others knew what was going on the sky was covered in rainbows, which then seemingly melted into liquid and fell down. Cheerilee instinctively covered her sister, glaring as soon as there were no more rainbows. "You almost killed my sister!"

"She almost killed you, too!" remarked Scootaloo.

The older mare rolled her eyes. "I thought your favourite superhero was Batmare, not Captain Irrelevant!"

"Sorry," apologised Sweetie Belle. "I-I just- I don't know what happened- it was like- I couldn't control it- there was this pressure-build up- I don't know how it happened- I'm so sorry-"

"It's alright, darling," reassured Rainbow Dash. "And I must say, I do hope you can pull off that trick again.....How dashing! Rainbows, darling, rainbows!"

She pulled a few blades of grass out of the ground, grinning. "I'm trying to make a dress," she explained, "since we won't be able to buy any more clothes now that- now that-"

She collapsed to her knees and burst into tears. "We're never going to see Ponyville again!" she sobbed. "And- and what about all of the ponies that were in Ponyville when- when it was erased? Are they gone too?"

"Don't worry, Rainbow Dash," assured Minty. "We can always go to Butterfly Island and make friends with some Pegasi-"

"I DON'T WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH PEGASI!" screamed the blue pony. "I WANT MY OLD FRIENDS BACK! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH PEGASI! THEY'RE ALL WEIRD AND SHY AND-

"You do know I'm right here?" asked StarSong.

Rainbow Dash stared at the indignant mare behind her and blushed furiously, wiping the tears away. How had she been so insensitive? "StarSong! I'm so sorry, darling! I didn't meant to offend you like that!"

"It's fine," mumbled StarSong. "I'm the only Pegasus in Ponyville, I've heard worse."

"Gee," muttered Minty, looking up. "It's getting pretty dark......Where are we gonna sleep?"

"I don't know," muttered Pinkie Pie. "We might have to thleep outthide."

"Cool beans!" yelled Scootaloo. "We can go camping!"

"Not really," muttered Cheerilee. "It's not camping like that....We won't have tents, or food, and you haven't brought your night light....."

"Oh yeah," muttered Toola-Roola anxiously. She bit her lip, staring at Sweetie Belle, Minty and Scootaloo. They had stayed in Ponyville when she and the others had gone to rescue Twinklewish from Whimsey Weatherbe. She did not want them to know she was scared of the dark.

Cheerilee read the look in her eyes and turned back to her younger sister. "Hey, Scoots, I'll go and see if there are any fireflies or things like that to use as a night light."

She trotted off, winking at Toola-Roola. They waited around for a few seconds before they heard her.

"Hey guys, guess what?" called Cheerilee's voice, and they saw the dark pink mare trot into view. "I was just walking around and for some reason a bunch of glowing rocks came towards me and started levitating around me!"

Toola-Roola stared as a bunch of glowing rocks zoomed into view and started levitating around Cheerilee. "That is, by a wide margin, the least likely thing that could ever happen!"

They noticed that the rocks were all glowing in different colours. One was dark pink, like Cheerilee's coat, and another was pure white like Sweetie Belle's. One was the exact same shade of blue as Rainbow Dash and one matched perfectly with Scootaloo. There was a StarSong-coloured purple one and one that looked just like Toola-Roola, along with a green one that matched up with Minty.

But there wasn't a stone that reminded them of Pinkie Pie.

The seventh stone was magenta and took the form of a six-pointed star. It was a little larger than the others and the second Pinkie Pie saw it, it zoomed towards her. She grinned. "Get off! You're meant to help Thcootaloo!"

After a few seconds, all the rocks were zooming around the pony whose colours they resembled. "What?" asked Scootaloo. "That's not how it works!"

Pinkie Pie opened her mouth and moved her lips like she was talking, but not a single sound came out. Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. "You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?"

"Eh?" asked Rainbow Dash. "She didn't say anything!"

"Wait," asked Toola-Roola. "You didn't hear that?"

"Nope," answered Scootaloo. "I didn't hear a thing!"

"Me neither!" added StarSong. Sweetie Belle and Minty nodded in agreement. Pinkie Pie blushed. "Oopth! I wath thpeaking pink my mithtake!"

"What?" choked StarSong.

"Remember? When we went to thave Twinkle Wish and I rounded up ththse fireflieth? I told you, I thpeak pink!"

"I didn't think you could actually speak pink!"

"Well I can! I think in pink all the time. That'th why when it'th my POV, the writing is pink."

"What- oh forget it. Can you repeat that in English?"

"Sure! Ath I wath thaying, ......."

"You're doing it again!" snapped Scootaloo.

"Oh, am I? Weird, it normally doethn't happen on itth own like that.....Cheerilee, can you tell them?"

"Errr.....sure....." Cheerilee muttered. "Apparently it's some thing called the-"

She too trailed off into nonsense. "Oh!" shouted Pinkie Pie in realisation. "Thomepony mutht have catht a thpell on them tho that you can't thay the name in English. Well, they're thuper important, or I'm not pothitively pink!"

"How important?" asked Minty. "Because if they're so important then I think I should get rid of this little smudge..."

She grabbed her rock, which stopped floating, and started rubbing at it with her hoof. Of course, this being Minty, it was about half a second before it fell and shattered, no longer glowing. "Minty!" snapped Pinkie Pie. "You jutht dethtroyed the motht important object in the univerthe!"

"Sorry...." mumbled the clumsy mare sheepishly. The stone started to glow again and rose up out of the ground before putting itself back together. "That'll be the Element of Apology," whispered Pinkie Pie to herself.

"Okay, darlings," announced Rainbow Dash. "I'm going to sleep now. You probably should too, darlings."

She curled up on the ground. Toola-Roola stared at the grass beside her and had an idea.

I grinned and blew my mane out of my eyes, staring at my creation. Perfect. Rainbow Dash is going to love it, or mum wasn't drunk when she named me. Seriously, Toola-Roola 'Bhruis-Pheantaidh Gaileiridh-Ceàird? What was she thinking? What does that even mean? It took me years to even be able to pronounce it.

I forced my thought track back to the dress in front of me. If you can call it a dress. I just weaved together some grass. Well, some is an understatement, there's a massive part of the area with no grass at all. And I managed to add some flowers and things to the neck. And I even put together some crappy paint and covered it with pretty patterns!

.....I know, I couldn't help myself.

I kneel down over my blue-coated buddy. "Rainbow Dash! Wake up!"

Nothing. I tried a different approach. "The dress is black and blue!"

"THE DRESS IS WHITE AND GOLD!"

Rainbow Dash sat up straight, staring around and rubbing her eyes. "Toola-Roola! You're awake!" She added, in a whisper, "Are the rocks not bright enough, darling?"

I shrugged the question off, blushing slightly. "No, I- err- I made you something."

I smiled warmly, holding up the dress. "What do you think?"

"It's- it's-" she stammered. "It's....It's simply fabulous, darling! Thank you so much!"

"It's fine....." I mumbled.

"No, really, I must repay you, darling! Do you need anything?"

"Err.....not really....."

"Okay then, let me know what you want me to do in the morning."

I smiled as I curled up on the glass next to her. My stone and hers were both glowing brightly.

The square route of 49: Mudponies, Narwhals, Featherdusters

Author's Note

The first part is 3rd person, the second is Commander Hurricane, next is Mayor Flitter Flutter, then Rarity, and the last one is Clover the Clever.....kind of. Pretty obvious twist there. Also, for the last four, it's sort of inside the characters' heads, but Strife is reading their minds.

The square route of 49: Mudponies, Narwhals, Featherdusters

"Alright!" yelled Celestia. "Seriously, guys, knock it off!"

Luna rolled her eyes. "Fine. Why do you always have to ruin the party?"

Celestia ignored her. Kimono shivered. "I just noticed how cold it is here. Was it not summer half an hour ago?"

Sparkleworks shrugged. "I'm just glad the monster isn't here. I wonder what it's doing."

"Knowing Draconequui," answered Celestia. "probably having a nice water of glass."

"That's racist!" snapped a voice. "I only drink chocolate milks of glass!"

Luna groaned. "You just had to jinx it, didn't you, Sparkleworks! Aye caramba...."

Sure enough, within the blink of an eye they could feel him. All of them having watched several movies, they instinctively looked behind them. He wasn't right behind them, for some reason. They all stared at each other.

"Of course!" yelled Luna. "The next cliche in the book is that the villain is right in front of us!" She turned her head back around. Nothing. "Alright.....Maybe he's above us!"

She countinued looking around. Kimono followed her lead and within seconds of realising space was three-dimensional and turning to her side. Sure enough, there he was.....well, that was her first thought.

This thing had the same pony-like head and serpentine body, but it also had the front paws of a wolf and a tiger, with no back legs whatsoever and an alligator tail. One of its two wings resembled that of a hummingbird while the other was a ladybird's. And the horn.....Only one brown horn, but not in the middle like a Unicorn's, it just sat awkwardly to the side as if there was meant to be another one.

They all gasped in horror. "Don't gasp yet," he insisted. "Wait until the other one catches on. Until then, I'm too busy watching her to do anything physically impossible."

He sighed, looking up. "Looks like Discord went and made the weather awful here. Oh well!"

He made a glass appear out of nowhere and filled it with the floodwater, drinking the glass and holding the water in one of his wolf claws before holding it above Kimono for a few seconds. After a while he dropped it and it fell onto the magenta mare's head with a thump. "Ow!" she cried. Then reality caught up and the water realised it was a liquid, not a solid, and the lump of water suddenly collapsed and got Kimono's mane wet.

When Luna finally realised how three-dimensional space works and turned around, she gasped in horror. "Ahh! Monster!"

"Oh, don't worry," advised the thing. "Reality bending is Discord's thing." As he said this, he snapped his tiger claws and turned one of the trees upside-down. "Okay, mostly his thing. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Strife. Now...."

He grinned and snapped his wolf claws. Luna stared at her own tail and barked like a dog, galloping around in circles for a few seconds before jumping onto her sister and licking her. Strife snapped his claws again and Luna awkwardly got up. "Err.....let us never speak of that again, agreed?"

Strife grinned to himself. "Not bad. But these ones are boring. Maybe those survivors could have some fun....yes....I can see it now.....Brute featherdusters, snob narwhals and dirty mudponies....perfect...."

He snapped his claws and vanished.

Who the hell are you?

Strife, eh? Interesting. What are you doing in Butterfly Island?

Umm, yes, it DOES matter, thank you very much! What are you doing here? Hey, what even are you? You're not a Pegasi like us, and you're also not a Narw- Unicorn or a Mud- I mean, Earthpony, so what are you?

Yeah, I almost thought Mudpony and Narwhal. So what? My parents were racists and they saw them. It's just force of habit, and I stopped myself. And they're hardly innocent, they think all Pegasi are shy.

No, they don't call us featherdusters! Nopony would be that cruel! You've got proof? Yeah, right! Prove it!

...Hey, what's up with that screen?

...

...

How could they say that! Mayor Flitter Flutter! I played nice with you! And Rarity! I can't believe this! I even let her narwhals try the interspecies breeding thing with MY Pegasi! And I didn't gain a single soldier because for some reason they decided pixie wings should got to Ponyville! We both risked getting defected foals, and what happened? They get some amazing Unicorn called StarSwirl and I get some pixie wing purple pony that I have to give up!

Oh, they think I'm shy, huh? I'll show them shy! I'm going straight to Ponyville and I'm taking StarSong as my soldier! And then I'll show them how unshy us 'featherdusters' can be! I am Commander Hurricane and I declare war!

...What's happening?

I can't believe it! I was erased, deleted, destroyed! What's going on now? Ponyville was erased, wasn't it? How can an entire town be destroyed? Why am I back now?

...Lots of other ponies. Why?

All Earthponies. All weird colours, like brown and black and white and a few reddish-browns and golds. Animal colours. All making 'nay' sounds. Why?

Eh? Who are you? What are you?

Strife? Weird name.

What do you mean, your brother deleted Ponyville! That's crazy, insane, rediculous!

Uggh.....so tired........

Ahh! How did you turn into a pony like that? That's not normal, ordinary or usual!

No.....please stop......I'm just a mayor, I can't do it......

...

...

Who is Mayor Flitter Flutter? No, I am not a mayor! I am a Chancellor! Chancellor Puddinghead!

And I need to eliminated the narwhals and featherdusters! Not sure why, but I know I do! Thank you, Strife!

Hey, why are you leaving?

Slide! Fun! Ladder! Up, up up, weeeee! Fun! Let's do it again!

Eh? Who are you? Wait, what are you? You'e definitely not a pony.

You're Strife? Weird name. You should have a cool name, like Rarity!

Eh? I'm Rarity? I know, and I have the funnest name ever!

Yes, I know technically it's Princess Rarity Platinum. But nopony calls me that, I just like Rarity!

What do you mean, I should get more respect? That nopny takes me seriously because I'm too playful! Don't be silly!

What do you mean, Skywishes and Mayor Flitter Flutter called me a narwhal? They would never say anything as mean as that, they're nice!

Proof? Don't be silly! You can't prove something that's impossible!

Hey, what's that screen in the air?

...

...

Mayor Flitter Flutter! How dare you call me a narwhal! Narwhals- I mean, Unicorns- are NOT snobs! Take that back, you racist mudpony! And Skywishes! How could you! Narwhals? Snobs! YOU'RE the ones who are too shy to do anything, featherdusters!

They....they all think I'm a snob? Why? They should all be treating me with respect I am a PRINCESS! I am ROYALTY! I am Princess Rarity and you should OBEY ME!

You're right, Princess Rarity isn't powerful enough. Princess Rarity Platinum? Too long. How about....Princess Platinum? Perfect! Now! Bring me StarSwirl's apprentice! The purple one!

Now I am a real princess and expect to be treated as one, OKAY?

I'm so excited about being StarSwirl's apprentice! Okay, so maybe in all the research I did to learn how to travel back a few thousand years I'm probably as good as him, and I was halfway through using Rarity's scissors to cut off my own wings before she offered to make a cloak for me to hide them, but it's totally worth it! Why do you ask?

Wait, who are you? Discord?

Oh my Celestia, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to offend you, it's just that he's the only other Draconequus I know! Don't ask him about me. I'm from the future. Nice to meet you, Strife.....I think......

What? Change my name? I guess you're right. It won't make a difference since I haven't even been here long enough to meet Clover the Clever and if somepony sees my name in a history book.......

-Clover? Change my name to Clover the Clever? Don't be stupid! Somepony's sure to notice!

What do you mean, Princess Platinum wants me? We're in Unicornia, the only Princess is Rarity!

Wait, she's going by her last name now? And she wants me? Crap! Another stable time loop! Oops!

I guess I am Clover the Clever now. Thanks for telling me, I guess. Wait, you're Discord's brother! Why are you helping me found Equestria?

You have your reasons? Right.......You just want me to get frozen and create another timeline, right?

I suppose there's nothing I can do. Fine. I just hope Rarity- I mean, Princess Platinum- doesn't sit on my like in that play we did. My wing still hurts from when I nearly cut it off. Time to go.

The fourth multiple of 2: Lucky Clover

"Are you sure we're not being watched?"

StarSong nodded. "You're probably just nervous, there's nopony around for miles!"

Rainbow Dash sighed. "Then where did my hat go?"

"How would I know?"

Toola-Roola bit her lip. "Maybe you should check one more time......"

"Fine!" snapped the Pegasus, taking flight once more without so much as a chance to catch her breath. She hovered above the group for a few seconds before flying arond in circles. She was in the middle of thinking how stupid this was when something crashed into her. The next thing she knew she was on the ground, a purple Pegasus wearing Rainbow Dash's hat looming over her. "Sorry! What's your name?"

"Err- StarSong-"

"Good! My name is-"

She stopped mid-sentence, staring at StarSong's wings. StarSong blushed. For reasons she never quite understood, she had always had bug-like wings compared the the solid feathery ones of other Pegasi, and she had always been self-conscious about it. Even for a normal Pegasus, the stranger had oddly large wings. "D-Don't touch my wings!"

The stranger awkwardly stopped herself from staring any longer. "Oh! Sorry! It's just that........Err, would you believe I know everything about you and your friends even the stuff that hasn't happened yet?"

"Prove it!"

"Okay, let me think......Did Puddinghead take you prisoner yet?"

"No!"

"Okay, what about the Hurricane Military Camp?"

"No-"

"Have you been servants for any period of time?"

"No!"

"Has your Ponyville been deleted yet?"

"Wait- yes! How did you-"

"Blindfolded hill scootering?"

"Yeah- how did you-"

"Take me to them. If anypony asks, I'm StarShine SkyHigh. I'm your- err- sister. Yeah, that makes sense!"

"No it doesn't- and give me Rainbow Dash's hat back-"

"Sorry, I can't- I'll give it back soon, probably-"

"No! Give it back now-"

"Promise you'll tell the others I'm your sister?"

StarSong rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll tell them you're my sister! Now gimme the hat!"

The stranger galloped away, and once she was starting to blur the hat flew towards StarSong, landing perfectly on her head. As the purple stranger galloped away, there was a tiny bump visible on her head, almost like on Rarity's.

"Is that StarSong?"

Celestia looked up. "I don't know, who's StarSong?"

Luna rolled her eyes. "Never mind, she's gone now."

Kimono stared at the sky. "I swear there was something purple only a second ago..."

Sparkleworks shrugged and looked at something in the distance. "Hey, look over there!"

They all turned their heads and saw a purple Unicorn trot-swimming towards them. The mare was a little taller than them, with perfectly straight dark hair with pink stripes. She was wearing a brown cloak tied around her neck. It seemed oddly stereotypical, like it was designed to look like a cloak as opposed to actually being one.

"Hi, Luna, Celestia," the stranger began. "I'm- err- Clover-"

"How do you know our names?" demanded Celestia.

"Errr- Lucky guess?"

They all stared and Clover awkwardly took a few more steps before tripping over a twig in the water and falling. She awkwardly got back up, raising a hoof to adjust her cloak. "Man, now my cloak's all wet!"

"Here, let me take it," offered Celestia, stepping forward and reaching for the cloak. "You'll get sick-"

"No!"

Celestia stepped backwards nevously. Clover blushed. "It's- err- a family heirloom. I- err- just don't like ponies touching it, okay?"

Luna raised an eyebrow. "Alright then, Clover, if that's you're real name. I'm onto you." Then she took another few steps, jumping up and down to loom over her newfound 'rival'. "Ponies have two names! Tell us who ye really are, ye scoundrel-headed landlubber!"

Celestia facepalmed. "Luna, you have the entire English language at your disposal, and those are the words you choose?"

Luna ignored her sister. "Hah!" she scoffed. "I bet you except us to treat you like some sparkly princess Mary-Sue from a book worse than Twilight, but we can see right through your guise!"

"Oh, for crying out loud, Luna," snapped Celestia. "We are in the absolute middle of nowhere- according to all the maps I've ever seen, we're not even in Ponyland anymore, or we're in some part of it nopony's ever seen- and the whole area is literally impossibly flooded, and considering how heavily it's raining we might all drown in a few hours, and we've seen two Draconequui so far, and you still have time to embarrass me in front of anypony we meet?"

"Well, duh! Why do you think Mum and Dad wanted another foal?"

Celestia was about to respond when she realised there was no point. She instead turned to Clover. "Sorry about her. Are you sure you don't want me to take your cloak? You could get really sick out here, it's freezing."

"No, I'm sure," said Clover urgently. "I think I should be able to light a campfire. I'll be back in a few minutes, I'll just look for any nearby hill-islands, there's all sorts of things in that forest...."

She trotted off and, once she was sure she was out of view, used her magic to take her cloak off, thanking Celestia that nopony could see them.

The third square number: Master Race

Author's Note

The second part is Minty's POV and the third is StarSong's.

The third square number: Master Race

"You have a sister?" choked Scootaloo.

"Errr," muttered StarSong. "Yeah- she lived in Butterfly Island before, but- err- something happened there and she had to run-"

"Why did she take my hat?" demanded Rainbow Dash.

"She- err- doesn't like introducing herself to new ponies, so she- err- took your hat so I would follow her and take her here. But then she had to leave because- err- there was a.....err.....flying.....wolf?"

"A flying wolf?" asked Pinkie Pie, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think that maketh thenthe...."

"Cool beans!" yelled Scootaloo. "Now I can find a new pet!"

"No! No flying wolf pets!" snapped Cheerilee.

"Aww man!"

She stomped off and sat down next to her friend Sweetie Belle, who was using her magic to levitate random objects she had found in the area. She smiled, raising one of the rocks higher in the sky. Half a second later the same rock flew away from her, as if it had been violently pulled away by an invisible hoof.

They all turned and stared, noticing a pink Unicorn trotting into view. She had multicoloured hair and stubby legs, with a horn smaller than Sweetie Belle's, as though she was still a foal, just one that had magically been grown. Rainbow Dash recognized her and gasped in shock. "Rarity!"

"My name," she snapped. "is Princess Platinum!"

She trotted towards them, a purple crown atop her head. "I am a princess and I shall be treated as such. Come along, Sweetie Belle, and bring your mudpony friends too, if you please."

Instantly there was an uproar. Rainbow Dash, Cheerilee, Minty and Toola-Roola all yelled their hearts out. Pinkie Pie instead grinned. "Can Unicorns do this?" she gloated as she tail-spin-helicoptered upwards. StarSong stared. "Should I get angry now or wait until she says featherduster?"

"What's a mudpony?" asked Scootaloo.

They awkwardly stopped yelling. "Err," began Cheerilee. "It's another word for an Earthpony. And you shouldn't say it."

"Why not?" asked Scootaloo. "What's wrong with being a mudpony?"

"It's a bad word. It's more polite to say Earthpony."

"Alright then," continued Rarity. "You are all going to come with me to the palace. I do need some new servants."

"You're not going anywhere near my friendth!" snapped Pinkie Pie. "Or Minty!"

"Is that a challange?"

"It ith, and one you won't be able to overcome!"

"It's good to challange yourself. GUARDS!"

A bunch of Unicorn stallions appeared out of nowhere. Scootaloo screamed and hid behind her sister. Sweetie Belle rushed out in front of Pinkie Pie, her horn glowing brightly. She raised a hoof and stomped, making a blueish see-through dome appear around them. The stallions shot random spells at it until it vanished.

"No...." breathed Pinkie Pie.

A flash of light.....

Uggh......Where am I?

Black room. Bars, wall made of bars. StarSong talking to a purple Unicorn. Scootaloo sleeping next to me. Pinkie Pie's nowhere to be seen. The others, nowhere to be seen.

I stumbled to my hooves. The Unicorn talking to StarSong trotted in through the gaps in the bars. "Oh, Minty, you're awake. My name is Clover the Clever-"

"No it isn't!" snapped StarSong. "I'm not an idiot, StarShine!"

"StarShine? Who's StarShne?"

"You look just like her except you're a Unicorn and she's a Pegasus!"

"Well, we can't be the same pony, then, can we? Anyway," she continued, turning back to me. "welcome to the Unicornia palace, where hopes and dreams come true for the master race!"

Her face seemed bored, as though she was saying things from a script and didn't really care if they ended up being true or not, and also a little apologetic. I bit my lip. "What about......other races?"

"The mudponies are to cater to the master race's needs. You are wanted with your mudpony friends downstairs. Would you like me to escort you?"

I nodded weakly, hearing her mumble under her breath. "Thank Celestia Applejack isn't here...."

"Who's Celestia?" I asked.

She jumped. "She's- she's a pony I care about very, very much." She turned to StarSong. "Princess Platinum said the pixie-featherduster is wanted downstairs. May I escort you after the mudpony?"

"Not until you admit that you're StarShine!"

"Not gonna happen, then," answered Clover, and she lead me out of the cell.

Clover the Clever? Yeah, right. I'm not an idiot.

If they're not the same pony, then they're related. Which seems pretty unlikely, since that would mean they would have to be half Unicorn and half Pegasus, and I'm pretty sure I was the first example of cross-species breeding. And even sisters is a bit of a stretch- the only thing that Scootaloo and Cheerilee have in common is that they have the same eye colour. Sometimes they do, anyway. Cheerilee keeps changing hers. Twins, maybe? Genetics makes that seem unlikely.

"Is Celestia a Unicorn like you?" I asked the second she got back, wondering if I could meet her and straigten this out.

"Well- err- she has a horn, so yes."

"So you definitely don't know anypony called StarShine?"

"No!"

I stared. She blushed a little. She's lying. I'm not stupid, I know a liar when I see one, and this is one big lie. "What the hell is wrong with you, you freaking liar?" I demanded, not caring anymore that my yelling was half a second away from waking Scootaloo up.

"I'm not lying!"

"Yes you freaking are, you stupid little freaking-"

"What does freaking mean?"

I groaned as I saw Scootaloo behind me getting up. "Ask your sister."

"I don't know anypony called StarShine, and I'm not a liar!"

"Why you little-"

I finally lost control and (literally) flew at her, tackling her down. I heard a scream of pain. Wow, did I just actually hurt her? Cool! Maybe I broke something, that would explain these lumps in her back....

I fly back up. "Tell me the truth!"

"Please....."

I flew down again. This time she screamed even louder as I threw myself against her. "I'm not an idiot-"

"And what do you think you're doing?"

I turned and saw Princess Platinum, hurriedly flying off of 'Clover'. "Err- I can explain- it's not what it looks like-"

"GUARDS!"

The amount of fingers you have, including thumbs: Most Devoted Mailmare

"I give up!" groaned Luna. "Can we go back to Ponyville?"

Celestia shrugged. "I don't know if we'll be able to get back. I think we're pretty lost. And it would be rude to leave before Clover gets back."

"But she's been gone for-"

There was a flash of purple and Clover appeared in front of them. Celestia stared. "What the-"

"Oh, I went for a quick fl-stroll, and then my w-my legs got tired so I decided to teleport back."

"Unicorns can teleport?" asked Sparkleworks. "Cool!"

"They can?" asked Celestia. "My books must have been horribly inaccurate!"

"I can teleport because....err.....I'm StarSwirl's apprentice and he's been making new spells with me."

"Alright...." mumbled Kimono. "Now, we were thinking of going back to Ponyville soon-"

"I wouldn't," interupted Clover. "Princess Platinum's looking for servants and Earthponies are her first choice."

Kimono looked up. "Really?"

"Yeah-"

"We should launch a rescue mission!" cheered Luna.

"No- That won't be nessecary- They're being treated well-"

"When can we send the rescue party?" asked Sparkleworks.

"Err- In a few days, we need to draw up a plan-"

"Special delivery for Pri-"

Clover turned to see a grey cross-eyed Pegasus with spiky yellow hair hovering behind her, a package in her front hooves. The second Clover heard her begin to speak, she glared. The Pegasus shut up.

"What are you doing here?" hissed Clover. "You haven't been born for thousands of years!"

"I'm a very devoted mailmare."

"Devoted enough that you broke physics and the time-space continuum?"

"Yes."

"But how?"

"I'm good at time travel. I was a full grown mare the day of the Sonic Rainboom, you know. And a filly when Apple Bloom got the Cutie Pox."

"But-"

"Just take the package before I dr-"

The rest of her speech was cut off by the sound of the package hitting the floor as she dropped it. "Err, never mind. I'd better go now."

She flew off happily. Celestia stared. "Sonic Rainboom? Cutie Pox? I've never heard of them! And I checked the birth and death records, there's nopony in Ponyville called Apple Bloom!"

Luna rolled her eyes. "Didn't our parents very clearly say not to check the birth records of everypony in Ponyville before we moved?"

"Yes, well, er......Look, I can break rules sometimes too!"

Sparkleworks ignored them. "What's in the box?"

Clover shruged, sitting down and using her front hooves to tear apart the cardboard. Within seconds of opening it, he popped out. Sparkleworks would have assumed he was Spike if it wasn't for his purple scales and green spines. "A dragon!" yelped Luna. "Coooool! Canipetit? Can I? Pleeeeaaaaseee?"

"No!" snapped Clover, rolling her eyes. She turned to the dragon. "Any letters?"

"Only a few," the dragon answered, before shooting green flames into the air through his mouth. The fire in the air looked like it was going to burn away and vanish, but instead revealed a scroll. Clover grabbed it, quickly reading over it. "Next!"

The dragon nodded, doing the same thing again. And again. And again. The dragon made the letter appear from the fire, Clover read it, and the process repeated. "Gee," mumbled Sparkleworks after an hour or so. "Somepony's got a lot to say to her!"

This snapped Clover back to her senses and turned to them. "Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce you. You three, this is my pet dragon, Spi- Thorn. Thorn, this is Sparkleworks-" she gestured to Sparkleworks- "and this is Luna and Celestia."

She didn't gesture to either of the sisters, but Thorn still seemed to know which was which somehow. He gave Clover what looked like a look of disbelief and she nodded. "Wow!" he yelled.

He ignored Sparkleworks and rushed over to Celestia and Luna, jumping onto Celestia's head, staring into her eyes and tugging at her mane. He then jumped down, staring at Luna's tail and then her flank. Celestia growled. He ignored her.

Clover nervously stepped forward. "Err, Spi- Thorn, in this culture ponies find it rude to stare at one's flank...."

"Oh!" shouted Thorn in realisation. "Sorry- you see, where I come from, ponies show off their Cutie Marks, so a bit of flank-staring is normal for us-.Don't worry, I'm married-"

"Married?" asked Clover. "You and Rarity?"

"Yes."

"She doesn't even know you like her!"

"We're married in my head."

"Riiiiight....."

Thorn ignored her, taking a quill pen out of nowhere and grabbing one of the letters, writing something on the back and breathing green fire onto it. It burned away and vanished within seconds. Clover sighed. "Spi- Thorn! Have you no tact?"

"I have loads of-"

He stopped mid-sentence and shot out a burst of fire, which burned away in the air to reveal a scroll. Clover grabbed it. "She says we should-"

Before she finished, she used her magic to tear the top half of the letter off, and then gave it to Celestia. "Listen to me. On the twenty-second of March, 2017, on Wednesday, a stupid dragon will send you a very stupid letter. You have to send him back this."

The number before 12: All's Fair in Slaves and War

Author's Note

The first two parts are 3rd person, then two sentences from StarSong's POV, then after that the pony whose name is called.

The number before 12: All's Fair in Slaves and War

"Quick! Act busy!"

Everypony in the room was quick to obey Pinkie Pie, grabbing random objects as they heard the hoofsteps. They all gave a sigh of relief when they saw that it was Clover the Clever, not Rarity. They stared.

It was the first time they'd seen her since they had first been foalnapped three days ago. In that time they had quickly learned that whether they actually did anything didn't matter as long as they looked busy when Rarity came to check on them. They also hadn't seen StarSong in that time; Minty had said she had been arguing with Clover, but that was all they had heard. They had occaisionally seen Sweetie Belle walking past, but she was always flanked by two guards stopping her from talking to them.

"What are you doing here?" asked Minty.

"Oh," answered Clover. "I was actually meant to be checking on you and feeding you this whole time, but a little something cropped up and I had to take a few days off.......You'll find out soon, trust me. Speaking of which, one of the younger Unicorns, Sweetie Belle, requested a meeting with all of you as well as me. There will be an announcement when it is time for you to come. Anything that confuses you shall be explained then.

"Will StarSong be there?" asked Toola-Roola.

Clover paused. "StarSong SkyHigh? The Pegasus?"

"Yes, her," rushed Rainbow Dash. "What about her, darling?"

"She will be discussed at the meeting, and if the guards agree you may be able to see her."

"Cool beans!" yelled Scootaloo. "We get to see StarSong and Sweetie Belle!"

"Yeah..." muttered Rainbow Dash. She had a feeling it wouldn't just be any old meeting.

"Sweetie Belle! I haven't seen you in the longest time, darling!"

"Wow! Your mane ith pinker than ever!"

"Cool beans! You're okay!"

"I'm so glad you're alright-"

"Okay, okay!" snapped Clover. "This meeting is for a reason, you know!"

"Sorry," mumbled Minty. "It's just that we missed her-"

"I missed you too, guys," muttered Sweetie Belle. "But remember those glowing rocks?"

"Yeah?" asked Toola-Roola.

"I managed to take them," continued Sweetie Belle. "and Clover took them outside. We're going to use them to escape."

"We're going to escape?" asked Cheerilee.

"No," snapped Toola-Roola. "we're going to stay here and be servants forever."

"Really?" asked Scootaloo. "Can we escape instead? Staying here is boring!"

Clover nodded. "I haven't worked out the details yet, but I have a few friends who are eager to help free you. When it does happen, don't ask any questions. Just do as I say, alright?"

They all nodded, then looked around. Somepony was missing. "What about StarSong?" asked Cheerilee.

"StarSong SkyHigh?" muttered Clover. "Oh, err....when she woke up after we brought her here, she tried to break out by attacking me. The guards subdued her and took her to a high security cell. You'll each be able to go see her, one at a time. I'll call your names in alphabetical order and the guards shall escort you to her cell."

"Eh?" asked Scootaloo.

"When she calls your name, go with her!" translated Cheerilee.

This has gone on long enough. I'm telling them. Except Sweetie Belle, she's too young....

"Cheerilee Joyride!"

I nervously stepped forward. Why did I have to be first? Stupid alphabet! "Stay here, Scootaloo." I muttered, knowing she would try to follow me.

"Come on!" urged one of the grey Unicorn stallions, starting to trot ahead. I followed quickly, glancing back at my sister and friends as I left.

Through the hallway and down a few flights of stairs we went. At that point was a massive black door, with what looked like a window at the top, but covered in bars. One of the guards pressed his front hoof against it and it swung open. I nervously glanced at him. "Go," he said simply. "She is waiting."

I nodded, galloping forward, staring at either side of me. I could hardly see the walls through all of the prison cells, all walled by bars too close together to slip through. Each one held a different pony, some Unicorns, some Pegasi and a few Earthponies. Most of them were furiously trying to bend the bars, or writing on the wall, or just sitting there helplessly. One Unicorn was using his magic to tattoo himself. I hope Scootaloo doesn't notice him when it's her turn.

Ahh, there she is. StarSong. I trot to the side and sit in front of the door to her cell. "StarSong! Are you okay?"

"Shut up. I need to tell you something."

I stared. Shut up? StarSong doesn't tell ponies to shut up!

"What is it?" I asked.

She looked me dead in the eyes. It was like in those scary stories that Scootaloo had asked other ponies to tell her even though I told her not to. "There is no StarShine."

"What?"

"I have no sister. I found 'StarShine' out in the middle of nowhere with Rainbow Dash's hat. She told me to tell you guys she was my sister. And she looks exactly like Clover, except Clover is a Unicorn and she's a Pegasus."

"Pinkie Pie!"

Cheerilee trotted back and nodded to me. I gueth it'th my turn now. I thtepped forward and one of the guardth grunted in annoyanthe. "Hurry up!" he muttered. I nodded, breaking into a canter and following the quicketht of them.

He lead me down the hallway and down a few flightth of thtairth. After a while we came to a pure black door. There wath a window at the top, but with no glath, only barth. He prethed hith hoof onto it and it thwung open. I thtared. Wath thith a good idea? Rainbow Dash had had a feeling this wathn't any old meeting, I know becauthe the narrator told me.

The guard raithed hith hoof and pressed againtht my tail, pushing me forward thlightly. I gathped. Every inch of the room exthept for a tiny pathway was covered in prithon thells. I glanced back and trotted through until I thaw her.

SssstarSsssong.

"SsstarSssong!" I yelled. "You're alright!"

"I'm aware of that-" she rushed. "Now, listen-"

"Lithening? I'm good at lithening!"

"Alright then, I need to tell you something-"

"What do you need to tell me? What is it? What do you need to tell me?"

"It's important-"

"I like important thingth-"

"Can't you just be quiet?"

"Quiet ith my favourite!"

She raised her front hoof and thlamed it againtht her fathe. Charadeth? Ooh! I like charadeth!

"Let me gueth, you actually don't have a thithter and ThtarShine ith just thome random Pegathuth that took Rainbow Dash'th hat and made you lie to uth and you think that she might altho be Clover?"

She gathped. "How did you know?"

"Jutht a hunch."

"Minty Bubblegum!"

I noticed Pinkie Pie trotting back, flanked by two or three guards. I nervously trotted forward to take her place. The guards led the way. I bit my lip. Cheerilee and Pinkie Pie went in there and they were fine, right? So what's the worst that could happen?"

We went through the hallway and down a few flights of stairs before we came to a rusty old door. One of the guards pressed his hoof against it and it swung open. I glanced back as if I were trotting into the death sentence and walked in.

Cells. Jail cells.Jail? StarSong broke the law? I knew she had tried to escape, but geez.....

I stumbled through until I noticed her. "StarSong!" I reached my hoof through the bars. She didn't reach back.

"Minty, I need to tell you something!"

"What is it?" I asked urgently.

"I don't have any sisters, only StarSwirl. StarShine is just some stranger that tackled me in the air and told me to lie. I don't know who she is. But she looks almost exactly like Clover the Clever."

"Rainbow Dash!"

I stared. "Who, me?"

"No," snapped Toola-Roola. "the other Rainbow Dash that's a really fast Pegasus and a tomboy."

Clover giggled. I rolled my eyes. I love Toola-Roola, but when did she get so sarcastic?

I awkwardly stumbled forward. One of the Unicorn stallion guards started to trot ahead and led me down a few flights of stairs until we came to a halt. I stared. To my shock, towering over us was a huge black door. The front guard raised his hoof and pushed it open. I glanced back and they gave me a 'hurry up' look. I sighed, trotting inside.

I stared to the left of me. A part of the room cut off by walls made of bars, containing an Earthpony. To my right a similar arrangement with a different pony. And next to each cell, another. And another. And another.

Prison.

I galloped forward. Talk to StarSong, then get the hell out of here. That's my plan now. I looked from side to side. I can't afford to miss her.

There she is. I came to a halt. "StarSong! What happened, darling?"

"Rainbow Dash.......there's something I need to tell you....."

"What is it, darling?"

"StarShine is just a stranger who took your hat and told me to lie. I don't know her. I don't have any sisters. And I'm pretty sure Clover the Clever is-"

I gasped. "I had to go without wearing my hat for a whole two minutes for nothing?!"

"Scootaloo Joyride!"

"Yes?"

Cheerilee sighed. "Scootaloo, go with the nice stallions, okay?"

I nodded, skipping over to the guards. One of them started to trot forward and the others followed. I galloped after them. "Hey! Wait for me!"

I'm finally gonna see StarSong again! Cool beans!

After going down a few flights of stairs we came to a solid black door. There was a single window near the top, like the door to our house, but there was no glass, only bars. One of the Unicorns raised his front hoof and pressed it against the door, which swung open. I turned. "So, do I go in now?"

He nodded, without blinking. I stuck out my toungue. Nothing. I rolled my eyes, trotting off into the room. "Whoa! Jail cells! This is where they lock up bad guys! Cool beans!"

I noticed StarSong in one of them. Eh? She's not a baddie! Why would a good guy be in jail? I galloped over to her. "How did you get in jail? You're not a baddie!"

She sighed. "Scootaloo, I lied to you and the others the other day. I said StarShine was my sister and she stole Rainbow Dash's hat so she wouldn't have to introduce herself. But the truth is that StarShine is some stranger who tackled me and told me to lie about her. I don't even know if StarShine is her real name."

"Eh? You lied? But good guys don't lie! Lying is for baddies!"

She sighed again. "Scootaloo, the world's not quite as simple as that. Sometimes good ponies do bad things, and bad ponies sometimes do good things. Some ponies aren't really good or bad, they just do what they want, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing."

"Toola-Roola- err- how do you pronounce it?"

I grinned, blowing my mane out of my eyes. "You don't. You have a few goes and then give up and complain and then never use my full name again. That's what normally happens."

I sighed, trotting over to the guards, which noticed me coming and started trotting off. I followed them through the hallway and down a few flights of stairs. Soon we reached a pure black door. There was a tiny window at the top, but no glass, just bars. One of the guards raised his front hoof and pressed it against the door, which swung open. I shuddered.

Bars. Bars. So many bars. So many bars they box off sections of the room into cells, each one containing a pony. Some of them were drawing on the wall or tattooing themselves, some just staring brokenly at something or sturggling to bend the bars. I shuddered again.

It looks pretty dark.

Alright.This is gonna be fine. I'll just gallop inside, find StarSong, talk for a minute and leave. I'm not that scared of the dark. I can be in a dark room for five minutes, right? Right?

Okay, deep breath. You can do this, Toola-Roola. I blew my mane out of my eyes one last time and galloped.

I galloped down the room until I noticed a purple Pegasus out of the corner of my eye. "Hey! StarSong! Start talking. Now."

"Err- well-" she stammered. "Remember StarShine? I lied. She's not my sister. I don't even know her. She just tackled me in the air and told me to lie."

StarShine? Who's StarShine? I rolled my eyes, galloping outside. It wasn't until I was outside that I remember.

Oh, that's who StarShine is.

120/10: Sonic Rainboom

Author's Note

POV's, in order:
3rd person, Rainbow Dash, StarSong, Toola-Roola, Pinkie Pie, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Cheerilee, Minty and Clover.
And the idea is that this is stuff they're saying out loud

120/10: Sonic Rainboom

Legend says that if a group of ponies are truly destined to be heroes, best friends and bearers of the Elements of Harmony, then they will discover an important part of theirselves through the same event.

Another legend says exactly that except it specifies that this event will be the result of a pony with a rainbow mane travelling in the air so fast they cause a Sonic Rainboom.

Other legends expand on that and say that the pony will always be blue and named Rainbow Dash, or Rainbow, or their last name will always be Dash. Many say that according to every book or play ever, legends are extremely vague so that they don't give away the plot when you reveal them, and therefore the name and colour of the pony aren't important.

The second legend, however, proved true.

When I was young, I used to remember playing dress-up as a foal and cringe. I hate to say it, but I barely ever played with the other fillies.

I had witnessed Sweetie Belle's...err...birth? Creation? Anyway, I had witnessed that, but once we got into kindergarden it became taboo to play with foals not your age unless they were related to you, or a friend of the family. Once I had seen her, when she was sleeping at Scootaloo and Cheerilee's place at the same time as I was coming over, but their parents learned after the chaos that ensued and from then on, either Scootaloo had friends over or Cheerilee did. I saw her sometimes at the park, but I barely ever played with her.

I had played with Scootaloo sometimes when I went to Cheerilee's house. She doesn't like being alone, and since Sweetie Belle wasn't allowed to come over at the same time as us, she normally hung out with us, although after we grew apart she started arranging to go to her friend's house when Cheerilee was busy.

Cheerilee and Pinkie Pie were still friends with me, but not my best friends. I preferred to go on adventures with Rainbow Flash, but if she was sick or busy or we needed more than two ponies for our game then we went to them.

This was all before I met Toola-Roola, StarSong or Minty.

I used to play with Rainbow Flash a lot. We liked going exploring and sometimes doing things we knew were too dangerous simply because our parents were busy and we could get away with it. Well, she did, anyway. I didn't realise it at the time, but the main reason I did it was because our names were too close or us to not be friends and friends had to do things together.

At one point, she had talked me into climbing the tallest (and only) mountain in Ponyville. It was some two hundred feet above the ground, and more of a cliff than a mountain; one side was almost a perfect slope, but the other I could easily jump down and reach the ground.

"Okay," I had muttered once we were at the top. "Here we are. Now let's get down."

She had giggled. "You chicken? Let's stay up here."

"I don't know, it's pretty scary up here....."

"Lighten up! What's the worst that can happen?"

I had sighed and started pacing around, failing to notice one of the holes in the ground until I was trying to lift my hoof out of it without tearing my leg off. After a few seconds I had almost given up and practically thrown myself away from the hole senselessly.

I never claimed to have an ounce of brains as a filly.

The next thing I knew I was falling.

I remember that I was screaming. I was convinced I was going to die. I was falling for so long it wasn't funny. I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes.

And then I heard the loudest noise I've ever heard.

Boom.

Then I remember seeing a really bright light in all the colours of the rainbow. Well, the colours of my mane. Same thing. I saw something purple, and the next thing I knew I wasn't falling.

I had opened my eyes to see that I seemed to be floating in the air. After a few seconds I had realised I was slowly descending. Once I reached the ground I realised that a Pegasus had carried me down.

When I saw the wings I assumed they would belong to an adult stallion, maybe wearing some sort of uniform. But when I looked properly, the pony who had saved me was a filly, probably even a younger one than me. "Th-Th-Thanks," I had stammered. "What's- I- err- Do you have a name?"

Like I said, I never claimed to have an ounce of brains as a foal.

She had giggled and introduced herself as StarSong, and I had told her my name and trotted off. Of course I had rushed home to tell my parents, and the next thing I knew I was expected to find her and have her come over. After we had finished playing Snakes and Ladders together, my parents came to talk to us about how we felt about being on the news.

I was thrilled! Of course, at the time I hadn't realised how much work it would be. I had to prepare a speech, and arrange a time with the newsponies, and- worst of all- I had to pick an outfit.

At the time I had HATED fashion. Hated, hated, hated it. Yet at some point I found myself choosing dresses for StarSong and I. Of course, I had been sure I would never do it again. But a few days later I found myself shopping for clothes again, this time just for fun.

Who knew it could be so fun?

Clover, darling? Where are you going?

When I was a little filly, one day I found myself flying around for no real reason. I didn't really have any friends in Ponyville, and I was pretty much just being alert in the hope that somepony would notice me and come play.

Instead I saw something much more interesting.

There was a loud boom, and then I had seen all the colours of the rainbow in a flash of light. Of course, being a curious filly, I had flown straight towards it and seen a little Earthpony filly falling from the sky, screaming her head off.

I was about to go and call somepony to help when I suddenly realised I could end up hailed as a hero. The next thing I knew I was carrying her down.

We had introduced ourselves and parted ways, and a few days later she had found me and demanded I go to her house. When I got there we had had a quick game of snakes and ladders and then her parents had come down to tell us about going on the news!

Of course, I was thrilled. Rainbow Dash picked out the most wonderful outfit, and I got to talk toe everyone! I had loads of friends after that, mostly foals of ponies who watched the news and knew about me. But as things do, my fame died down as soon as they stopped showing it on the news after a few weeks.

What can I say? I liked the attention. I tried singing and dancing in the talent quest, and there I met a few real friends, friends who liked me for more than my fame. Among them were Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Cheerilee, Toola-Roola, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. And in that talent quest I found I have a real knack for singing! I thought it was fun, so I kept doing it after that. Why do you ask?

Eh? Clover? Come back here!

Do I have to talk about this?

Ugh, fine. But if you want more detail, I'm not giving it.

Okay, so, I was a little foal, and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to go into the forest with my cousin. She said she knew the place off by heart and that it would be fine. When it started to get dark, we both galloped. At one point I tripped over a tree root. "Wait for me!" I had yelled.

She didn't.

And so I was in the middle of the forest, lost, and it was getting dark. This was before my parents had drilled 'the rules' into my head- stay where you are and wait, call for help without moving, blah blah blah. So the second I realised I was lost, I galloped after my cousin, thinking that if I was fast enough I could catch up.

I know, I was an idiot.

Anyway, after chasing after my cousin I was more lost than ever. I was absolutely convinced I would be stuck there forever when I heard a boom and saw a bright light in all the colours of the rainbow. It was just bright enough for me to see properly. I galloped, finding my way out of the forest with the light and getting home.

Of course, I told my parents, and of course they didn't believe me at first. For some reason I thought that I could make them believe me by painting the rainbow light, and the second I showed them they forgot I had ever gotten lost. "This is amazing!" mother had yelled, I remember.

And so I had ended up learning to paint. Happy now?

Hey, where are you going? Clover?

I'm not anthering you. My name ith Rothamena Diane Pie. I don't know anypony called Pinkie Pie.

Okay! Tho, Clover, what wath it you wanted to know?

What do you mean, how did I get my Cutie Mark? Ponieth aren't going to earn their Cutie Markth for another two chapterth! Did you read ahead, or did the narrator tell you?

Oh, what made me dethide to be a party planner? That maketh more thenthe. Tho, one day all of my friendth were buthy, tho I dethided to go for a walk. Or more like a thkip. Ahhh, back when I wath ignorant, before I knew of the fourth wall and before I knew of how Equethtria will be made. It'll thtart with my granddaughter Pinkie Pie, and one day she'll be working on the rock farm, and she'll thee a really bright light, and then she'll decide to throw a party!

Hey, now that I think about it, that rainbow light she'll thee......I've theen it before. Yeth, I remember, when I wath thkipping around, like I told you. Then I thaw the rainbow and heard a boom, and it blew thome balloonth towardth me! I wath thuper bored at the time and the balloonth were pothitively pink, tho I tried to fly on them! That didn't work, tho I dethided to throw mythelf a party! I wath going to jutht be on my own, but then a bunch of ponies thaw me through the window and dethided to join in!

And that'th how Ponyland was made!

Hey, where are you going?

Clover?

I always loved playing games! Even when I was a tiny little baby I liked catching butterflies! Although now that you ask, there was one thing that made me even more fun.....

Once, when I was little, Cheerilee was off playing with somepony and I had Sweetie Belle sleeping over. We were thinking of fun games to play when we heard a really really really really really loud boom noise! I galloped over to the window and saw a really bright rainbow light!

Of course, at the time I was only just learning to read, so it didn't take much to scare me. I had stared at the light for a few seconds and jumped under my bed like a scared little baby. Sweetie Belle had been braver; she had just flinched and jumped off the bed, crouching down to look at me. "Scoots! Come out! It's fine!"

I had shook my head, saying it was too scary. She had sighed and trotted off. A few minutes later she had come back with a plate of cookies and asked me to come out again. Of course I had jumped out and wolfed down all of them.

Did I mention I get kiiinda crazy when I eat too much sugar?

Yeah, I kind of sort of ended up a liiiiitle bit sugar high. I still reckon my parents made a big deal out of it. I only jumped around like a maniac for ten minutes! And then I thought it would be a good idea to jump onto the kitchen bench with a scooter in my mouth. And a butterfly net on my head.

You think that's bad? I haven't even told you about the time I almost ruined the Winter Wishes festival...Anyway, at that moment, an orange butterfly flew in through the window. Of course in my sugar-high state, I had jumped onto the scooter and jumped off the bench, grabbing the butterfly net and swinging it as I landed.

That was the day I learned that taking risks is okay, because it always works out in the end. So, do you wann hear about the time I- oi! Come back! Clover!

Oh, you want to hear about the time I learned to cook? Sure thing!

Okay, so when I was little I slept over at Scootaloo's house once. We were in the middle of deciding what game to play when we heard a really loud boom noise. We had galloped over to the window and saw a bright rainbow light in a circle. Poor Scootaloo, she was terrified! She jumped under the bed and wouldn't come out.

So I decided to make some cookies for her! The second she ate them, she got an exteme sugar rush and did all sorts of crazy stuff. I didn't like that. I thought it was because my cookies were bad, so I tried one. They were amazing! I decided to make some more. Then I made some cake. Turned out, I was really good at it?

Clover? Where are you going?

Storytelling? I've been doing that as long as I remember. Although I remember, there was that one time.......

Two words: Writer's block. I hadn't thought of any story ideas for months and Scootaloo eas getting bored of me telling the same tales every night. But I just couldn't think of anything to make into a story. I needed inspiration, ideas, fuel- Gee, no wonder Mayor Flitter Flutter liked me, apparently I talk like her now.

Anyway, once I had gotten home after a playdate one day, Scootaloo had told me a story about how she saw a rainbow light when I was gone. At first I was ready to start storyboarding, but then I realised that Scoots had probably made it up herself, and if I used it then I would be stealing it from her.

I had laughed. "Yeah, Scoots, sure. You have one wild imagination!"

The next day Rainbow Dash had invited me to a slumber party. Pinkie Pie was there, along with Toola-Roola and another filly I hadn't seen before. She had a purple coat and wavy hair in all shades of pink. But the first thing I noticed were the small, clear wings on her sides.

I had known that there were Pegasi in Butterfly Island, but I had never seen them before! I had always thought that for some reason they had to stay in Butterfly Island. She quickly introduced herself as StarSong and we started playing games. Eventually it was story time. I gulped.

Apparently they were all true stories. I noticed a pattern. Pinkie Pie mentioned a rainbow light and the wind from that pushing balloons towards her. Rainbow Dash told me about how she had fallen from a mountain and somehow caused a rainbow light, which had made StarSong notice and save her. Toola-Roola had been stuck in the forest and seen a rainbow light.

Scootaloo hadn't made it up.

Instantly I had my storytelling mojo back. I had a new story for everypony- and by the time they got sick of it, I had another.

Clover? Where are you going?

Err, I was always a weirdo. What special talent? I like socks and green. Come on, get realistic!
Sonic Rainboom? Yeah, I saw one. That was when I realised I was les- umm, privacy! This is extremely personal!
Phew, she's gone. Thank the stars I didn't mention Rainbow Dash is lesbian too- you're still listening! Are you ever leaving? Get out before I mention Rainbow Dash's secret crush on Fiesta Flair- doh! Well, at least I didn't tell you about- oh, now you leave? Probably for the best, I guess. RD is gonna kill me......

Right......guess I'm not that unique after all.....

Unlucky number: The Plan

"Okay," Clover muttered, glancing at her book and closing it. "Listen to the plan: First we-"

"Are you getting your plan from a history book?" choked Kimono.

Clover blushed. "I'm- err- getting the idea from a famous pony from history."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "The Life and Death of Ponyland? I've never heard of it. Ponyland hasn't died yet, and I doubt it ever will!"

"It's about- err- the life of- err- Raripie-AJ-Shydash Ponyland, the pony who founded ponyland."

"She never existed, you just made her up then!"

Luna rolled her eyes. "Tia, don't be such a nerd! Nopony cares!"

"But- logic- history-"

"What about it?"

Celestia groaned. "So," asked Sparkleworks. "What were you saying?"

"Alright," answered Clover. "First we'll sneak into Unicornia in the middle of the night. Then- Kimono, Sparkleworks- you two get to the front of the castle and make as much noise as possible. If you get captured then just do as the guards say, we'll get you. Celestia, Luna- you and I will climb in through the window and find our way to their sleeping quarters.

"Then I use my magic to pick the locks and wake everypony up. We all rush them out and meet my friend from there who's working from the inside. Then we grab some stuff that we need to grab and gallop for it. Understood?"

"That," muttered Kimono. "is the stupidest idea I've ever heard."

"Exactly!" yelled Luna. "And according to every book and play ever, stupid plans are garenteed to work, and all other plans are garenteed to end with everything going wrong!"

Kimono rolled her eyes. "Luna, this is real life. If this was a fanfiction written by a twelve-year-old girl, then Clover would reveal an incredibly obvious secret as soon as I finish this sentence."

Alright. I should be out of sight now.

I used my magic to untie the rope around my neck and levitate the cloak above my head, trying without success to wring the water out of it without just getting it even more wet from the rain and taking care to stretch out my wings, ignoring Spike's complaints from my back. "Who do you think the letter was talking about?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," was all I said out loud, but I was already mentally checking off options. They have to be a Unicorn to use the time travel magic. Or Alicorn? No, Celestia and Luna are busy in Equestria and Cadance is taking care of the Crystal Empire, and Flurry Heart is way too young. Wait, no, they could stay here for years and be back in five minutes.

Still not too likely though. This is pretty dangerous, and the Crystal Empire can't afford to lose Cadance. Flurry's too young and the sisters might meet themselves. And there is nothing more awkward then having your future self visit you, then spending ages thinking about them before going back in time and meetng your past self.

Rarity doesn't know the spell. Would Celestia be able to teach her? Maybe. I doubt it, though. Starlight Glimmer? I'm not sure. Shining Armour? Considering how the stallions are being treated now, he'd end up just as a meaningless guard. Maybe-

"Wow, Spike looks weird when he's not a dog!"

I awkwardly turned, seeing her standing waist-deep in water. "Sunset Shimmer!" I yelled. "I didn't expect you!"

"Well," she explained. "I figured I should get finished with my nonsense bucketlist, since I started by accident."

She used her magic to summon a scroll covered in writing. I stared. "Threesome with two ponies/people that are actually the same pony/person? Travel back several centuries to see someone's grandmother who's still alive?" I squinted, and saw the one item that was crossed off. "Threesome with yourself?"

"Yes, well, I found my human counterpart and I'm sexy with a ponytail...."

"What?" I asked. "Oh, forget it. Have you got a fake name?"

"Err...." she mumbled.

"Come on, tell us! Spike here is 'Thorn' and I'm Clover, what about you? Did Celestia not give you one?"

She rolled her eyes and muttered something. "Eh?" I asked. "I can't hear you!"

She sighed. "Bacon Hair."

I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"So," she asked. "Is the plan still on?"

I nodded, remembering the plan. "Are you sure you're ready?"

"Are you?" she asked in response.

I nodded. I'm ready. I'm the only Alicorn around for miles. I have stronger magic than any other at this time. I can do it.

Because I am Twilight Sparkle.

2 'O Clock in 24-hour time: For Want of a Nail

Author's Note

The second part is Tia's POV

2 'O Clock in 24-hour time: For Want of a Nail

And so Clover and Bacon Hair saved all of the pony servants without a hitch and they all lived happily ever after.

In one of the many universes of the multiverse, that is. But that universe is boring, so we'll focus on this one instead.

In this universe, it started off fine. Sparkleworks and Kimono had started making noise outside while Luna, Clover and Celestia snuck around. Soon they reached the window. "Right," muttered Clover. "Luna, get onto my back and then climb through the window, okay?"

The excited filly nodded, jumping onto Clover's back and then jumping again, landing perfectly inside. Clover stared for a second and turned to the white filly. "You next."

"Err, okay....." muttered Celestia. She awkwardly raised her two front legs and lifted them onto Clover's back, struggling pathetically to get her back legs onto her back. After about five minutes she finally stood atop Clover's back and awkwardly tried to find her footing to get into a good position to climb.

"Are you ever going to get inside?" snapped Clover. "You're seriously- ow! Move your hoof, you're hurting me!"

"Sorry-"

Smack.

Celestia awkwardly picked herself up off the ground. "Take your cloak off!" she hissed. "It's too slippery, I can't get my footing!"

"What do you mean, take off my cloak? It's a magical artifact!"

"The last time I asked you to take it off you said it was a family heirloom!"

"Yeah- well, it's that too! Now try again!"

"Oh, for Celestia's sake!"

"I'm trying my best, okay?" I snapped.

Then I stopped. "For Celestia's sake? For my sake? What?"

"Eh? You must have misheard me. Anyway, hurry up and- ow!"

"Sorry!" I whispered hurriedly, raising the hoof I had just put down.

"It's okay," she muttered. "Just don't put your hoof there, okay?"

I nodded, staring up at the window. This was the first time I had gotten this far; before I had just fallen off trying to get into a position to jump. It's so high up. Wow, I'm so pathetic. Luna's half my height and she made it look so easy! I'll try. No way in the world that I'll make it, but I'll try.

I bent my knees and jumped as high as I could, pathetically waving my front legs until I hit the ground. "I can't do it," I breathed. "It's too high."

"Come on!" she insisted. "I know you'll do it this time!"

"Fine!" I muttered, again struggling to climb onto her back. After I managed to find a way to stand without slipping, I stared at the window again. How in the world am I going to manage it?

I was about to jump when I felt the cloak under my hooves move, almost making me fall off. I looked down. "Sorry," Clover muttered. "I think it'll be easier now." I nodded weakly, staring back up. "Ow!" she cried.

"What?" I asked. This time I hadn't moved my hooves at all.

"Just stay still and close your eyes until I say otherwise!"

I nodded, shutting my eyes tightly and hearing Clover grunting beneath me. A second later I could feel myself moving upwards. After another few seconds she told me to open my eyes and climb in.

I blinked. Suddenly the window was easily in reach. It was like we had somehow flown. I knew better than to ask as I scrambled inside and looked down to see Clover hanging from the windowsill. She grabbed my hoof and climbed up, letting go of me and jumping inside.

That was what I think she was going for, anyway.

Instead she hung awkwardly in the air half a metre below the window. I stared and saw that a thread of her cloak was caught on a nail. She noticed it too, and started flailing around trying to get it free.

"Just take your cloak off!" I shouted.

"I can't! It was the last thing my parents gave me before they died!"

"Your excuse for wearing that thing all the times changes every time I ask you to take it off!"

"Yes, well, it has a lot of reasons to be special to me!"

She sighed. After a second her horn began glowing magenta. The loose thread turned the same colour and unhooked itself. There was a bump as she hit the floor. Luna raised an eyebrow. "I thought you couldn't use magic because of.....er.....well, you definitely said that-"

She was cut off by the sound of a thousand hooves galloping towards us.

"Follow me!" screamed Clover, galloping down the hall. Luna and I followed. I galloped as fast as I possibly could. For half of the time I didn't even have a clue where we where. After a while we got to a huge, black door, which Clover kicked open.

I preferred it closed.

Hundreds and thousands of little jail cells. Each one holding a single pony, each coat grayish from the dust. Ponies struggling to bend the bars, or just staring blankly, or screaming at nothing. I glanced at Luna. Poor thing, she's terrified.

Clover noticed too. "You two stay here. I'll be back in a second."

I nodded weakly, grabbing Luna and pulling her closer to me and adjusting my glasses so I could see properly. After a few seconds Clover galloped back, a purple Pegasus with weird pixie-like wings following her. "Follow me!" Clover yelled, galloping past Luna and I. Luna trotted after her. I followed.

We galloped down the hall and up some stairs, then down a few more hallways. After a while we saw another door. This one looked more normal- made of what looked like wood and with a welcoming handle. It swung open without Clover needing to touch it, revealing an orangy-yellow Unicorn with red and yellow hair. I glanced inside to see one other Unicorn, a white filly with pink and purple hair, and seven Earthponies, Kimono and Sparkleworks among them.

"Everypony out!" yelled Twilight. "I accidentally attracted the guards! Follow me!"

She galloped off. Seriously? More galloping? I'm already out of breath!

I followed her blindly, going as slowly as I possibly could without the risk of losing sight of the others. I probably should be going a lot faster, but I'm exhausted. It was about two minutes before something grabbed my hoof.

I screamed, staring behind me and seeing a grey Unicorn stallion. He wasn't touching me, but his horn was glowing. Telekinesis. No amount of struggling will get me free. I need to distract him somehow, then he'll-

"HOOVES OFF MY SISTER YOU STUPID NARWHAL!"

Luna jumped onto the stallion, furiously digging her teeth into his left front leg. I felt the telekinesis being lifted off of my leg. "Come on!" I called, standing up. She nodded, standing up and galloping. I glanced back. Holy crap, that Unicorn's bleeding. My sister is a vampire.

The white Unicorn filly that was running with us trotted back, glancing at the guard. She galloped back out of sight and then back towards us, using her magic to levitate what looked like a piece of Clover's cloak. She wrapped it around the guard's leg. I glared. "He tried to kill me!"

"He's still a pony!" she snapped, galloping off. I followed, soon catching up with the others. After a minute or two we came to a massive hall with four entrances, guards pouring out of each one. Trapped. Clover turned to us, and I noticed the piece chopped out of her cloak. "We are getting out of here! Fight them!"

Before I could point out that statisitcally, we were severely outnumbered by professionals and had very poor chances of beating them in a fight and our survival chances could potentially double if we just ran, we were fighting. Luna was biting guards left right and centre. Clover had started a magic fight with three of them. I galloped forward, wondering how I could help.

It was about ten seconds before I was grabbed from behind by telekinesis. I was about to scream and pray that Luna saved me (I know, great attack plan) when I turned and saw that I wasn't being held by a guard.

"CLOVER?!" I choked.

Her orangy-yellowish Unicorn friend galloped over to us. "What are you doing?" she demanded.

"She's alive in the future- I mean, present- so it doesn't matter what we do now!"

"That's ridiculous!"

Clover said something in response but I could hardly hear her. I was focusing on the guard trotting towards me. "Put me down!" I protested. Her grip on me only tightened. That was when I realised. I'm a shield now.

The stallion trotted up to me, smirked, and turned around. Within seconds I felt his back hooves crash into my stomach. Clover squealed and dropped me to the ground. I stared around, struggling to my hooves and turning to Clover. "What the hell was that for?" I demanded.

Before I could hear her answer I felt something grabbing me. The next thing I knew I could feel my head slamming into the wall.

"Celestia!"

Luna galloped over to her unconscious sister, grabbing her glasses in her mouth and turning to Clover. "What is wrong with you?"

"I can explain- I'm sorry- Please-"

"Follow me!" ordered her orange Unicorn friend, galloping off through one of the doors. The others followed, Luna half-carrying, half-dragging Celestia behind her.

Half a second later Scootaloo felt something grabbing her tail.

She turned to see a guard grabbing her tail in his mouth. Cheerilee turned and jumped onto the stallion, knocking him away. Scootaloo stuch her toungue out and galloped. They galloped down a hallway until they found another door, which Clover swung open.

Outside.

They noticed the glowing rocks on the ground. Clover stopped and gestured towards them. They were all glowing brighter than ever. Pinkie Pie, Scootaloo, Toola-Roola, Rainbow Dash, Sweetie Belle, Cheerilee, StarSong and Minty galloped over to them and they started levitating.

The next thing they knew there was a blinding flash of light and everypony was galloping.

The number of fingers you would have if you had 3 hands: Explanations

Author's Note

POVs: 3rd person, Twilight's, 3rd person, Celestia

The number of fingers you would have if you had 3 hands: Explanations

"What-" panted Luna. "the- hell- is wrong with you?"

Clover bit her lip. "I can explain-"

"You can?" snapped the younger mare. "Because it looks like you used my sister as a shield and nearly got her killed!"

"There's a perfectly logical explanation, just let me explain!"

"Alright then, go!"

Clover sighed. "Where to start......Well, for starters, you don't need to call me Clover anymore. My real name is Twilight Sparkle. I'm a time traveller from the future. Celestia's still alive then, so I figured it didn't matter what I did now."

"Prove it!"

Twilight's horn began to glow magenta and the collar of her cloak undid itself, revealing two large feathery wings. Everypony gasped, except Pinkie Pie and the orange Unicorn.

"Well, duh!" protested Pinkie Pie. "It wath thoooo obviouth! There wath even a thection from her POV where she admitted it!"

"What?" choked Kimono.

"It's a long story....." muttered Minty.

"I'm from the future too," added the orange stranger. "My name's Sunset. Sunset Shimmer."

"That still doesn't make it okay!" protested Luna.

Twilight wasn't in the mood to argue. "Sorry- she'll be okay- Sunset, you go check on her. Luna, have you introduced yourself to the others?"

"Yeah...."

"What was up with that weird light?" asked Scootaloo.

"The Elements of Harmony," answered Twilight Sparkle. "They chose you."

"What does that mean?"

"Hard to explain- magical friendship stuff-"

"Twilight....." muttered Sunset darkly.

"What?" asked Twilight. Luna looked up.

"Her pulse is getting weak, I don't think she's going to....."

Her voice trailed off, sighing.

"Oh no!" screamed Twilight. "Oh Celestia, what have I done?"

"Calm down-"

"I BROKE TIME! I CREATED A REALITY-BREAKING PARADOX! I KILLED CELESTIA! WHICH MEANS I WON'T BE HER STUDENT, WHICH MEANS I WON'T GO BACK IN TIME AND DO THIS, WHICH MEANS I WILL BE HER STUDENT AND GO BACK IN TIME AND-"

"Calm down, Twilight! Everything is going to-"

"I'M WORSE THAN STARLIGHT GLIMMER!"

"Everypony out of the universe!" ordered Pinkie Pie unhelpfully before eating herself.

"That's it!" yelled Twilight. "Pinkie Pie, you're a genius!"

"What, so you listen to her and not me?" protested Sunset.

Twilight ignored her and her horn began glowing. A second later she vanished and returned a second later. "Yes!" she yelled in triumph. There was a flash of magenta light and she and Celestia vanished. "

"She's lost it," whispered Sunset. "What am I gonna do..."

Okay, Twilight, everything's gonna be fine. Deep breaths. There's enough time.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Oh sweet Celestia, what have I done?

I stared. Celestia's just lying there on the starry floor. She's still out cold. Great. Now what?

Thank Celestia that Celestia- I mean, present- I mean, future Celestia- taught me how to teleport here. Now......The spell?

"From all of us together, together we are friends, with the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end!"

Does this even work when she's unconscious?

After a few seconds she started to glow white, rising upwards. Yes! It's working! Everything's going to be okay!

A flash of light......

"She'll be fine."

"Wha-how-" spluttered Luna. "What did you do?"

She stared at her still-unconscious sister. Her eyes locked in place as they noticed the large Unicorn horn atop her head, and her massive feathery wings. "What did you- how?"

"Alicorns have more magic," explained Twilight. "they can survive things other races can't. If she was out any longer she was at risk of brain damage and we can't get her to a hospital out here. If she died now then that could potentially create a reality-breaking paradox."

"You must be fun at parties..." the dark blue mare muttered. Then she jumped forward, landing next to Twilight's ankle. "This is for almost getting my sister killed!" she declared before digging her teeth in.

"You know, that's a great way to get your jaw broken!" advised Twilight.

"Are you threatening me?" Luna asked, before biting again.

"No, it really is! Biting a pony's leg could trigger a reflex action causing them to kick out, which is almost garenteed to break your jaw!"

Luna let go. "Speak English! Or Spanish, either one works.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "When you bite ponies, they kick out."

At that moment Pinkie Pie caused a minor distraction by coming back into existence. "What did I mith?"

Twilight explained. Kimono stared. "Okay, knowing you were Twilight I can kind of let pass, but are we just going to ignore the fact that she ate herself, vanished, and came back into existence?"

"Oh yeah," muttered Minty casually. "She's been like that ever since she was alone with the monster. Nopony's quite sure why."

"You seem awfully casual about that!" muttered Sparkleworks.

"You get used to it."

Sparkleworks and Kimono doubted they would.

I fluttered my eyelids open, straining to remember what had happened. I stared around. We're not in the castle anymore, everything is grassy.......Did we come here on the way to Unicornia? I don't think so. I can see the palace in the distance. Judging by how far away it is, I'd say we're just over three kilometres away. Sine the average walking speed is 6.4 kilometres per hour, that means I've been out for about half an hour.

Half an hour? Shouldn't I have brain damage by now? And that's assuming that until now we've just spent the whole time walking, which seems unlikely.

I pushed that thought out of my mind, moving my front legs slightly. No leg injuries, no broken ribs. So far, so good. I stretched my back legs out. Nothing sore there.

I looked around. My glasses were on the floor a few metres away. That means that somepony cared enough to grab them. Luna? That seems likely. Kimono and Sparkleworks barely know me and Clover......well, it wasn't exactly betrayal, but it was selfish as anything and she clearly doesn't care about my safety.

I nervously raised a hoof to see if there was blood on my head. I felt a massive lump, too big to be a bruise. I felt up it and found it extended around the length of my foreleg and ended in a sharp point. A Unicorn horn? But.....that's impossible.....

I sat up, staring at myself, and gasped in shock as I saw them.

Feathers. Wings. Two massive, feathery wings. On me. One on each side. What. The. HELL?!?!

I must just be seeing things. I reached out with my hoof and grabbed my glasses, shoving them on and looking back. The wings.....they're still there. What's going on? Why are they there?

I heard hoofsteps and looked up. Clover was trotting towards me. She's not wearing her cloak. It looked like there were feathers on her sides. What? I must be seeing things. I backed away. "G-get lost!"

"Don't worry," she said in what I think was supposed to be some sort of reassuring tone. "I know, that stunt of mine in the palace looked bad, but-"

"What did you do to me?" I demanded, gesturing towards my wings and discovering I could move them. Does that mean it's not a hallucination?

"I can explain!" she stuttered.

"Get away from me!"

I struggled to my hooves. My legs shook under my weight. In that second, I gained a great respect for all Pegasi. Wings are heavy!

"Celestia," ordered Luna. "Let her expain."

I stared. Had Luna betrayed me? No, that's impossible. Did Clover tell her something? Maybe. She actually has an expanation? I doubt it.

"Alright then," I decided nervously. "Explain. You have ten minutes to satisfy me or I take Luna and gallop for it."

"What? Ten minutes?" she spluttered.

"Hurry up or I make it five."

I realise that, as a young mare with no battle tactics whatsoever and two new limbs that I don't know how to use, I'm not really in any situation to make threats. But if she is just a psychopath and a good actor, then she must still need me or she would have just killed me and pretended it was because I had been badly injured. If I have a reason to stick around, then I will.

"Alright," she began. "How would you react if I told you that I'm actually from the future and I can time travel, and my real name is Twilight Sparkle, and she-" she gestured towards the orange Unicorn- "is named Sunset Shimmer and from the future of an alternate universe?"

"What?" I choked.

"It's true."

She turned to her side and I saw the feathers on her sides. Is that what she looks like without the cloak?

The next thing I knew, I was looking at a Unicorn. With massive wings. What the hell?

"I can explain," she repeated. "In the future, ponies make a spell that turns ponies into Alicorns. Long story. Anyway- I know you in the future, so I assumed that it didn't matter what I did now. Long story short, my stupidity almost got you killed and then I changed your species to save you."

"What?!" I demanded.

"You heard me."

I stared for a few seconds. "Okay," I mumbled. "I'll stay here. But if you pull anything like that again....."

"Hey guyth! Watch thith!" called a voice. I turned to see one of the Earthponies we had rescued- a pink mare, with lighter pink hair and balloons for a Cutie Mark. She ever so slightly nudged a tree with her hoof, and the tree collapsed over. "But- but-" I spluttered. "Newton's third law! How is that-"

"A draconequus altered her genetic structure," explained Twilight.

"How does that work? Like, is completely throwing physics out the window a dominant or recessive trait?"

"Dominant. And thinking with a lisp is recessive."

"My name ith Rothamena!" she introduced, trotting over to me. "The narrator thaid your name ith Thelethtia, right?"

"What?"

"Don't ask," advised a young orange Earthpony. "Her real name is Pinkie Pie. I'm Scootaloo. Do you want to play hoofball? Or basketball? Or underwater basketball? Or frisbee? Or golf? Or naked frisbee golf? Or-"

"Sorry," apologised a dark pink mare. "my sister's an idiot. I'm Cheerilee."

A green pony with pink hair trotted forward. "Hi, I'm Minty!"

"And I'm Rainbow Dash!" introduced a blue pony near the back.

"The name's Toola-Roola," said another pale pink pony.

"I'm StarSong!" said the purple Pegasus.

The white Unicorn filly stumbled forward. "I'm Sweetie Belle!"

I smiled. "So, can we get back to Ponyville?"

They all just stared at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Err," Cheerilee muttered. "Celestia......Ponyville is gone."

"What?"

"I saw it," explained StarSong. "It just went black and vanished."

"WHAT?"

Twilight sighed. "Your Ponyville is gone. I'm sorry."

X+VI: No Horsing Around

"Okay," muttered Celestia. "That's three impossible things. I haven't just believed them, I've seen them. Can we get started on breakfast now?"

Luna stared at Pinkie Pie, the older mare now using the three balloons onto her Cutie Mark to fly. "Okay, there's this and the way she pulled a ball out of her hair, but what was the other thing?"

"Me agreeing to play this dumb game."

"Come on!" yelled Scootaloo. "Have some fun! Here, catch!"

"Ahh! A ball!" screamed Celestia, ducking out of the way as Scootaloo threw the ball at her. Luna rolled her eyes.
"I didn't even know somepony could be that bad at sport!"

The older sister blushed. "I'm still getting used to the wings!"

"I don't know what we're going to do about breakfast," admitted Twilight. "The guards caught me breaking you out, so if I go back to Unicornia to smuggle food like I did before then they might recognize me."

"Then what are we going to eat?" asked Minty.

Sunset shrugged. "Either we try to find some other ponies and hope that they give us food- or steal, if it comes to that- or we try and find something we can eat out here."

"Find food out here?" choked Kimono. "As in finding berries and things? They could be poisonous!"

"So could starvation!" quipped Toola-Roola.

"I've done enough research," muttered Celestia. "if we find something I haven't heard of we'll just avoid it."

"Yeah," agreed Cheerilee. "Although other ponies might have more food than us......StarSong, could you go and fly around to see?"

"I'll come," volunteered Twilight. "And......Celestia, do you want to come so I can teach you to fly properly?"

"Errr.....okay....."

Celestia had pretty much just gone to sleep after introducing herself to everypony, and early that morning she had snuck in a few minutes of 'flight practice' which mostly consisted of pathetically flapping her wings until she finally got off the ground and inevitably crashed into a tree. She wasn't sure if she was ready to actually go anywhere.

Still she found herself flapping her wings again, managing to get off the ground with a lot less difficulty than she expected. "We'll come back if we find anypony," decided Twilight, and they flew off.

"Wow! I'm doing it! I'm actually flying! I'm-"

Smack.

"Well," muttered Celestia. "I don't know what I expected."

She awkwardly righted herself in the air. It was the tree's faul, she thought. Stupid tree.

"You might wanna look where you're going," advised Twlight Sparkle. "And try going a little higher."

I nodded, flapping my wings a little harder and rising up a little higher. "Are you okay?" asked StarSong.

"Yeah," Celestia muttered. "Still haven't got the hang of this."

"Hey, I think I can see something!" yelled Twilight. "Stay here, I'll be right back!"

She flew down, both hoping her eyes were playing tricks on her and hoping that her eyes weren't playing tricks on her. What she saw confirmed that they weren't.

They had seemed weird enough when Sunset showed them to her, but then she had been an alternate universe full of weird things called 'humans' so she had assumed they were a normal thing there. But here? How? Discord?

They were freaky. Like normal ponies, but taller, overly muscular, strong enough that Applejack and Big MacIntosh would be the weaklings of the herd. She had a feeling they could break every bone in her body without even trying. And those noises.........Couldn't they talk? Why weren't they colourful?

Were they animals?

She flew straight back to the others. "Follow me," she panted. "as fast as you can."

She flew past them. They followed her blindly, Celestia falling behind and struggling to dodge trees every two seconds. "Wait for me!" she panted.

Nopony did.

After a while they got back to the others. They weren't gathering berries, though- instead Toola-Roola was giggling to herself and whispering "I told you so!" to an annoyed-looking Cheerilee, while Rainbow Dash's eye was twitching as she marched up to Luna, standing over the filly.

"I don't want to have to say it again: No, I'm not British. No, my parents aren't British. No, I'm not faking the accent. No, I don't know why I have a British accent. Okay?"

"What?" choked Twilight, then decided to ignore it and trotted over to Sunset.

"What is it?" Sunset asked urgently.

"Horses."

Author's Note

Sorry this is so short.

Anagram of 71: The Mane Colours

Author's Note

Last part is Strife's POV
Sorry this is so short

Anagram of 71: The Mane Colours

"How?" Sunset Shimmer choked.

Twilight Sparkle shrugged. "Maybe he made a portal and took them from the human world?"

"Horses?" asked Luna. "What are horses?"

When she didn't get an answer, she tugged at her sister's tail. "What are horses?"

"I don't know," whispered Celestia. "Twilight saw something and flew down, and the next thing we knew she was telling us to go back."

The younger filly shuddered at the thought of what they could be, then stared at her sister, gasping. "Celestia, your mane!"

"What about it?" she asked, raising a hoof and grabbing a section of her mane, staring in shock as she noticed a sparkling blue stripe standing out in the pink. "What? How did that get there?"

Twilight glanced at them. "Oh," she muttered casually. "that's just a side effect of being an Alicorn."

"But you don't-"

"Oh, I dye it so it doesn't look too out of the ordinary."

She raised a hoof and lifted her bangs up, revealing a few blue and yellow parts underneath. Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Out of the ordinary? Half of the ponies in Ponyland have rainbow hair!"

"I'm from the future. Natural selection."

"So," asked Sunset. "should we go and see about them?"

Twilight shook her head. "They're freaky. I just hope they didn't see us flying back. I don't want them to find us."

Sunset laughed. "They're not that bad, you know! I rode one once, the human Lyra Heartstrings is obsessed with them, they're-"

"I don't care. They're freaky."

Sunset sighed. "I guess you're right. And we don't know why they're here."

"What are horses?" whined Luna.

"They're-" began Twilight. "They're- well, they're sort of like ponies, but........They're animals. They can't talk, and they can't hold things, and they have these weird little solid parts on the ends of their hooves, and they don't have Cutie Marks...."

"Weird...." muttered Rainbow Dash. "So, I guess we'll have to find plants to eat."

Kimono nodded. "We should head off now."

Twilight Sparkle started trotting forward and the others followed. "So," muttered Sunset. "What do you think we should do about the horses?"

"Get as far away from them as possible."

"The human Lyra told me about how they can track ponies. We should at least go and see if there are any ponies among them."

"No. I don't like them."

"They're not that aggressive-"

"I don't care. They're unnatural. End of discussion."

Sunset sighed. "I guess you're right. Hey, I think I can smell something. Over here!"

She galloped over to the side. The others followed to find her standing under an apple tree. "Bingo!" muttered Luna before turning to her sister. "Go get some down."

"Why me?"

"Because life is like a game of chess, and white goes first."

Celestia rolled her eyes, flying up to shake the branches and smiling as she saw Sweetie Belle levitating some of them down with her magic. She flew down and looked Twilight dead in the eye.

"Teach me magic."

Hmmm, so they used the Elements of Harmony to escape........That means they represent the Elements.................

Time for some fun.

(457837584+5735739*538-2/8)*0+19: Back to the Future

(457837584+5735739*538-2/8)*0+19: Back to the Future

"Can somepony please explain," demanded Celestia, not caring about her language at this point. "what the HELL is going on?"

"Err...." muttered Twilight Sparkle. "I couldn't explain, as such, but I think I might have a clue what's happening...."

"Well, can you make it UN-happen?" asked Luna, jumping out of the way of a rock somepony had thrown.

"Maybe," Twilight answered. "Gee, I wish I hadn't sent Spike back to the present, I could get him to bring a history book....."

"Need help?" offered Sunset Shimmer.

"Err......Yeah. If I can just snap Sweetie Belle out of it...."

"Can't you do the memory spell thingy Celestia told me about?"

She shook her head. "They mostly have memories I've never even heard of. I wouldn't be able to project them. Maybe I could......Hey, Sunset, remember that time I came for the Battle of the Bands, and we were bored, and we didn't think it would work but we tried it anyway-"

The orange unicorn shook her head. "Where are we going to find another lesbian turtle obsessed with cucumbers and an upside-down boat?"

"No, the other time."

"Oh! That. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Can somepony please explain this to us?" asked Kimono.

"Okay," explained Twilight. "So, I'm pretty sure I just need to use magic to remind these ponies who they really are. I'll have to get Sweetie Belle to do that, since I don't have their memories, and since Sweetie Belle was created when two rainbows touched, if I can make two rainbows touch again, it might spark her memory!"

"Right!" yelled Celestia. "So just make the rainbow!"

"Err, about that......You see, in the future, Pegasi learn how to make rainbows, and because they can make rainbows the Unicorns stop doing that and focus on raising the sun and moon- long story- and they kind of sort of stop teaching Unicorns the spell until after a few hundred years nopony in Equestria- again, long story- has any idea how to use magic to make rainbows."

Celestia groaned. "Alright then, how do Pegasi make rainbows?"

"Through a sequence of events that would be against all laws of physics now."

"So," asked Sparkleworks. "What exactly are we going to do?"

"Err.....Sunset, could you do me a teensy weensy favour and keep her restrained at all costs?"

Sunset nodded uncertainly, the air around her horn starting to glow orange. Within seconds Sweetie Belle had started to glow the same colour, her legs and neck locking in place. She growled. Twilight ignored her, trotting forward. Her horn started to glow purple as she screwed up her face in a look of intense concentration.

"Twilight?" asked Sunset. "What are you doing?"

"Trying....to see.......her memories......"

Beads of sweat dripped down Sunset's head. "I can't hold her forever, Twilight!"

"Just keep going as long as you can...."

The Unicorn mare nodded weakly. It was about thirty seconds before she let go.

To everypony's surprise, Twilight didn't stop. Sweetie Belle used her magic to levitate a rock and throw it towards her; she just ducked out of the way, not even blinking. The white filly wasn't discouraged, though- it was half a second before she threw another rock, which missed again.

But before anypony knew what was happening, Sweetie Belle's horn was glowing even brighter. Twilight flinched violently and fell backwards, screaming aloud as her left wing began to forcefully tear itself away from her body. Blood dripped onto the floor.

"No!" screamed Sunset, jumping forward and using her magic to flick a rock up at her. Sweetie Belle instinctively ducked and her horn stopped glowing, leaving Twilight to slowly turn her head around and stare at her wing.

She could see the white bone of her wing, and it seemed to be the only reason she still had two wings- she could see the way the flesh on her side had burned away, and her bloodstained purple feathers on the floor. She groaned before turning to the others. "Back in a minute."

"We came as soon as we heard- is Twilight okay?"

Princess Celestia nodded. "Come inside, little ponies, follow me."

She used her magic to swing the doors open and walked forwards. Rarity Belle trotted after her, with Rainbow Dash following suit. Applejack Bloom, Fluttershy Breeze and Pinkie Pie jogged after them.

After a while of going down the halls of the castle they came to another door, which Celestia gently pushed open with her front hoof. The next thing she knew there were five ponies galloping past her.

"Twilaght, Ah'm so glad ya're okay!"

"Oh thank Celestia you're alright! Hey, alright rhymes with Twilight! Twilight, alright, pineapples, okie dokie lokie!"

"And you went back in time! Is it awesome, cool, stylish or radical?"

"Oh, ignore her, darling. What happened to your cloak? Do you want me to make you another one? I think you should try a pink one, brown is sooo out of style......"

"Girls- I can't breathe-"

The hugging finally stopped. "Are you sure you're fine?" asked Fluttershy.

Twilight Sparkle nodded, raising a hoof to rub the white bandage on her side and wincing slightly as Pinkie Pie wrapped her front legs around her again, pulling the other four mares into the hug as well. "Yay for Twilight!" she shouted before they once again broke apart.

The door swung open behind them and they turned to see Starlight Glimmer trotting in, levitating a brown book behind her. "Sorry I'm late, Trixie insisted on borrowing my spoonula."

"Don't you mean spatula?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"I wish I did. And.....I would have caught up to the others, but I found this."

She levitated the book towards Twilight, who grabbed it with her front hoof and sat down, using her other hoof to brush the dust off it. The word Diary was written in large golden letters at the top, and in red pen, the words Bonbon Cupcakes scrawled down the bottom.

Twilight tried to use her magic to turn the cover, but it would only move up a little. She magically turned it onto its side, noticing a golden lock on the side. She stared, using her magic to pry it open. She eagerly flipped it open to a random page.

Dear Diary,

I'm starting to get used to senior high school. I'm still keeping in touch with Clover, thank God, I wish she hadn't had to go to that fancy ballet place. But this school seems way better, she called me yesterday and said she's getting really good! We're having a sleepover at Starlight's place on Friday. All seven of us, we're getting the gang back together. I'm so excited! I just hope Sweetheart makes it. She wasn't at school today. Teddy seemed really annoyed she wasn't there. He was acting kinda weird all day. I called Sweetheart after school and she seemed a little weird too. She hung up pretty quickly. Oh, and some crap on the news about humans and war. I don't think it's important but my parents seemed upset. Bright Eyes wouldn't shut up about it. Patch says her foster parents are going on about it too. They even started making her carry food and water in her bag in case of emergencies. I don't get the big deal, it's not even here.

-Bonbon

She stared. "Starlight, where the hell did you get this?"

"Discord gave it to me. He said you would need it."

"But....'called' Sweetheart? 'Hung up'? This.......This is all human stuff!"

"What do you mean?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"The- the human world, the one Sunset Shimmer is from! They have these things called phones, and they use them to talk to people really far away, and they call it 'calling', and when they stop talking it's called hanging up."

"Weird!" remarked Starlight Glimmer.

Celestia sighed. "Twilight, come with me."

She started to walk foward. Twilight eagerly trotted after her. "What is it, Princess?"

"Twilight......Remember when you were a little filly and I caught you trying to get into the secret part of the library, and I told you that no matter how old you were you must never go in there?"

"Yeah?"

"That area has some of the books on Ponyland history from when I was a filly. They're too out-of-date to be of any use now, since so much happened since then. I tried to write all of that down, but........I just didn't know how. I was hoping maybe after you've done all this you could start."

She trotted into the castle library, staring at the first bookshelf she came across and raising a hoof to push a red book forward. A door to the left of them opened to reveal another room with a single bookshelf. "These are the history books of Ponyland. I want you to take a few of them and read them in the Castle of Friendship before you go back to the past."

Twilight nodded, staring at the shelf and reading the spines. She telekinetically grabbed a few and started on her way.

"Spike, can you bring me one of the other books?"

Spike rolled his eyes, grabbing the book Twilight Sparkle had dropped onto the ground and carried out of the room, returning a minute later carrying another book. Twilight stared at it before grabbing it with her magic. "A History of Ponyland: The War With Humans. I wonder what this one's about!"

"A war with humans in the history of Ponyland?" suggested Spike.

Twilight ignored him. She had read most of the history books so far, and it wasn't really different to what she expected: Mostly peaceful, a few major bumps here and there, but mostly harmless. There had been something about Tirek kidnapping ponies from Dream Valley, including a foal who was born without a Cutie Mark (unlike the rest of them, apparently), and being defeated by the Rainbow of Light. And a 'human world' nothing like the one Sunset was from, including a human girl called Megan who visited the ponies frequently.

There was also another part of Ponyland, far from Dream Valley, home to only Earthponies. Without magic or flight technology had thrived- by the end of the book, they had the same phones and computers she had seen in the human world and were only discovering more things to make.

She telekinetically opened the book, wincing slightly as she felt pain in her injured wing and flipping past the dedicatons. The first 'real' page was covered with pictures of important human (as in Megan-type humans, not Sunset's humans) politicians at the time, and some stuff about them discovering Ponyland.

Then apparently one of the politicians went to Dream Valley on April Foal's, and some colts thought it would be funny to prank him. Some adults had come outside to explain that it was a joke, one called Applejack (the apple family went faaaaaar back). Applejack had tripped over something and knocked the human into a river. He had gone back to the human world and the ponies had tried to close the portal in case they mistook it to be a sign of aggression.

The humans, of course, assumed this meant they were no longer welcome, and attacked.

They came to Ponyland- all of it- not just Dream Valley- with strange black things called guns that could fatally wound ponies or kill them instantly. Weapons that could blow houses apart and set things on fire. Massive rooms that they locked ponies in and filled with gas until they died.

That was the point where Twilight closed the book.

Was this some sort of fake history? She knew murderers and truly evil ponies existed, but they were few and far between. She mentally checked off a list of enemies. Nightmare Moon? She didn't know enough about that. Discord? He was more interested in having fun than anything, and he never killed anypony- even when he deleted the old Ponyville, he brought them back as h-horses.

Sombra? He didn't kill anypony, the Crystal Empire came back, and he was nuts anyway. Changelings? Reformed. Chrysalis? Okay, it was a pretty close call with Celestia, but she hadn't intended to kill her. Starlight Glimmer? She had really thought what she was doing was for the best, and she was in a better place now. Sunset Shimmer? Okay, she wanted to kill Celestia for a while, but that was while she was an evil flaming she-demon, and she probably wouldn't have actually done the deed had she gotten the chance. She couldn't think of anypony else that was even borderline evil- some of them were jerks and snobs, yes, but they hadn't done anything really bad.

She had thought the humans were just like the ones in Sunset's world except with different colours and names, but clearly that wasn't the case. What if humans were naturally evil creatures? After all, she had only seen humans that were just human versions of ponies from her world- of course their personalities matched up!

She bit her lip. "Spike," she said softly. "Can you bring me my other bag, the one Celestia gave me when I was a filly?"

"Why?" asked the dragon's voice from the other room.

"Just bring it here."

"Err.....Okaaay......"

She sighed with relief as she heard dragon footsteps, stumbling to her four hooves and using her magic to lift the book off of the ground. Suddenly she froze dead as she heard hoofsteps.

"Twilight?" asked Starlight Glimmer's voice.

She jumped, turning her head around to see the mauve Unicorn staring at her. "Celestia said-"

"Err.....I've decided I'm going to go back to the past and read the last book there."

"But you're injured."

"Yes, but, well.....don't want to leave Sunset waiting-"

"It's time travel. You could wait years if you wanted to."

"Yeah, but........Well, my wing's almost fully healed anyway-"

"It's been two days!"

"Yes, well, you see, because I'm an Alicorn I heal faster-"

"Just this morning you were complaining about it!"

"Yes, well, that was a whole two hours ago!"

"Twilight....."

At that moment Spike walked in, a strap clearly too big for him strapped over his shoulder and the bag connected to it trailing on the floor. "What's going on?"

Twilight ignored him, levitating the bag over her shoulder and levitating the books into it. "Bye, Spike- I'll be back in a second- and also in a month- time travel is complicated...."

A flash of magenta light fell over her. "No!" protested Starlight.

She didn't know what made her do it. She knew that Twilight and Sunset had been told what to do and how to do it, that she wouldn't be able to do anything, and she would be in so much trouble when she got back. But she wasn't letting Twilight go alone.

"I'm back!" I said happily. That was when I noticed it.

"Hey, is there something on my leg-"

Author's Note

The last two sentences is Twilight's POV.

II*V*II: Spell Lifted

II*V*II: Spell Lifted

"Starlight!"

"Sorry!"

Celestia stared. Twilight had vanished- okay, she could teleport, not too impossible. She had come back a second later with her wing bandaged- okay, that could be hoofwaved with time travel. But how- and why- had she brought along another Unicorn?

"Should I ask," she asked. "or will the answer just be more confusing?"

"Probably," answered Sunset.

The mauve stranger stared around at her, cowering to the ground and nibbling at the top of her hooves. "Oh sweet Celestia! I went back in time! I'm going to ruin everything! I probably already killed my grandma by standing here! I can feel myself fading out of the existence! Everypony out of the universe!"

Pinkie Pie was about to eat herself when she noticed StarSong glaring at her.

Twilight trotted over to the stranger, folding her wing over her. "Starlight, listen to me. History can't be changed that easily. You're not going to change anything by just being here. In fact, you'd have to be actively trying to avoid a stable time loop to change anything either way, and even then it would be almost impossible because this spell only allows for bootstrap paradoxes...."

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Twilight, only you can nerd-ify comforting somepony!"

"OBJECTION!" yelled Luna. "Celestia's done that a thousand times!"

Starlight stood up. "Twilight, we have to go back to the present! You're injued!"

"I'm fine, Starlight. You should go back."

"Oh yes, I'm going to go back and tell Princess Celestia that you directly disobeyed her-"

She was cut off by a green flame appearing in the air in front of her. They burned away in the air to reveal a scroll, which she grabbed with her magic. "Dear Starlight Glimmer, Twilight is allowed to go back. Sincerely......Princess Celestia...."

She growled, cursing under her breath. "Fine. I guess I'll go."

"Actually.....You can help us, since you're here."

"She can?" asked Sunset.

She had gone through the portal and met Starlight exactly once before, and they were less than trusting of each other.

"Yes, she can."

"But," they whined at the same time. "But I'm Twilight's socially awkward friend who has basically the same name as her and used to be evil!"

They paused and stared at each other. "Yes!" yelled Luna. "Listening to two Unicorns from the future saying that at the same time was on the top of my bucket list!"

"I told you to throw that out because most of those things won't happen!" snapped Celestia.

At that moment she realised the thing she had forgotten to do, trotting over to the newcomer. "Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Celestia, and this is my sister Luna."

"She's a nerd!" shouted Luna unhelpfully.

"Err....Nice to meet you. I'm Starlight!"

Sparkleworks and Kimono trotted forward to introduce themselves but Starlight was hardly paying attention. She turned to Twilight. "So, what do you want me to do?"

"You and Sunset- I need you two to help me hold Sweetie Belle down with magic for a few seconds so I can do something."

"Err, sure- who's Sweetie Belle?"

At that moment a rock flew towards them. Starlight looked up, seeing a white Unicorn filly glaring at them. "Never mind."

"Follow me," decided Sunset, and galloped towards the white filly. Starlight nervously trotted after her to find the filly furiously shooting random spells everywhere. Starlight instinctively grabbed her with telekinesis and flinched violently as she felt something pushing her back.

"What the-"

She saw Sunset tumbling over and assumed she had tried the same thing. Sweetie Belle laughed. "You idiots! You fricken' idiots! What are ya tryna do, beat me? Not in a kazillion years!"

Starlight galloped a few steps closer, trying to grab her again and feeling something pushing her backwards, harder this time. She fell to the ground, awkwardly getting up. But half a second later the filly's horn was glowing. Before they knew it a tower of flames was shooting into the air before splitting apart and raining back down. Sunset instinctively conjured up a shield spell and the flames hit it and burned away.

Celestia galloped forward in the hope that she could help with what little magic she knew. She tried to do something, anything, but she had only gotten a horn a few days ago and had been learning magic for even less time than that. With all the strength she had in her, she managed to conjure up.....a flashing light that lasted for all of two seconds.

Sweetie Belle saw the light and allowed herself to be distracted for a moment. In that moment she felt something grabbing onto her, holding her in place. She moved her eyes around to see Starlight and Sunset's horns were glowing. "Blast!" she muttered.

Twilight trotted over to the filly, her horn starting to glow with a magenta aura as she lowered it to the white mare's head.

Sweetie Belle gasped.

Suddenly she remembered her friends, and everything they had done for her. The time they had persuaded her to sing in StarSong's karaoke party even though she was shy. The time she had won a medal for Scootaloo's outdoor sports party. All the nice things her friends had done for her.

What was she doing? Why was she doing this? Sure, she had heard the voice, but that was no excuse! That was when she realised- she had hurt Rainbow Dash! She looked around frantically and saw her biting into the shredded remains of her dress. Why was she so.....grey?

"Sweetie Belle!" yelled a voice. She turned. It was Twilight.

"What-What is it?" she stammered.

"You know that spell I used on you, just then?"

"Err.....Yeah?"

"Do you think you would be able to use it on the others?"

"Err.....Maybe?"

She turned around and nervously stepped towards Rainbow Dash only to collapse to the floor and burst into tears a second later.

"What happened? What have I done? What was the voice? What happened?"

Twilight sighed, sitting next to her. "Sweetie Belle, you weren't really in control of yourself when you tried to hurt other ponies. That Strife- he can cast spells on you without you knowing, and he can make you do things you wouldn't normally do."

Sweetie Belle nodded weakly. She stumbled to her feet, trotting over to Rainbow Dash. She grabbed the remains of the dress from under the older mare's hooves. Rainbow turned to her, and she took her chance, pressing her horn against her head.

Before she knew it she could see the blue coming back into her fur and her mane regaining its rainbow colours. Tears appeared in her eyes. "Wh-What happened?"

She looked around until she remembered and galloped over to Kimono, hugging her tightly. "Kimono! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

"I could say the same to you!" muttered Sweetie Belle, trotting over to them. "...Without the 'Kimono' part. Is your leg okay?"

She glanced down at the cut on her leg. There were a few drops of blood dripping from it but it didn't look that bad. "I'll be fine," she mumbled.

Sweetie Belle nodded, trotting over to Scootaloo. She stared. The Earthpony filly was just sitting there, staring at nothing. This was not the Scootaloo she knew. She nervously stepped forward, touching her horn to the filly's head.

Before she knew it the orange was comign back into her fur. She stood up, grinning wildly. "Hey, is it time for a game of blindfolded hill scootering? Where's Cheerilee?"

That was when she remembered. Cheerilee had ran off. "She ran off somewhere," she explained, gesturing in what she thought was the right direction. "Go find her."

Scootaloo nodded and galloped off. Sweetie Belle looked around and galloped over to Toola-Roola. Soon she had lifted the spell from her too. After a while Scootaloo came back, dragging her older sister behind her. Within minutes she was apologising, not a trace of grey on her.

StarSong was the hardest. The second Sweetie Belle started towards her, she flew higher in the air and no amount of jumping around like an idiot could get to her. That was when she felt feathers touching her.

"Get on my back." said Celestia.

Sweetie Belle nodded, clambering onto the Alicorn's back. Before she knew it she was flying after StarSong- and fast. Before she knew it she was close enough to jump over to StarSong's back. From there, her head was easily reachable, and she guiltily flew them back down.

"Sorry I lied to you."

Last was Minty. Sweetie Belle galloped over to her and held her horn to the grey mare's head. Her horn flickered a little and finally glowed. Minty smiled as her fur became green, her hair once again sparkling in different shades of pink.

"I'm sorry!" she yelled.

Oh, how she wished she could be.

3*7: Rainbow Magic

Author's Note

The first part is Minty's POV

3*7: Rainbow Magic

"Tho, Minty," Pinkie Pie muttered thadly. "You thee, I found thith greeeaat fanfiction- it hath some of the betht firstht-pony narrating I've ever theen, and it had me, and it had you but you were her-" she gestured towards Twilight- "and all our friendth were there in one of the chapterth, but......"

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well, it'th jutht that......You thee......It'th a great fanfic, but......Who the hell nameth their fanfic thomething thtupid like 'The Pony POV Ssseriesss'?"

Sbe sighed. "Thome ponieth jutht aren't good at naming thingth."

I nodded in agreement before turning behind me to see what had exploded. Oh, did I mention I heard an explosion? I probably should have started with that. I'm not too good at this 'telling stories' thing.

"What was that noise?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked in return.

"I heard somepony saying something."

She shrugged. "Probably jutht about to rain."

I was about to point out that ponies don't hear voices when it rains when I felt something wet on my ear. I looked up. Drops of light brown liquid were falling out of the sky.

"Yes!" Scootaloo yelled. "It's raining chocolate milk again!"

Twilight sighed and turned to StarSong. "We'll have to cancel the patrol flight, my friend Discord told me that airquakes are twenty times as likely when it's raining chocolate milk."

"What?" choked Celestia.

"You heard me."

I sighed, trotting away. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I felt like going for a walk. I shook the chocolate milk out of my pink mane with a grin. I didn't know why I was grinning, or caring about the state of my mane. As I trotted around in search of something to do, I found myself drawing my Cutie Mark in the dirt.

I stared. Something seemed wrong. I drew a blotchy spot around it and a few spots around it. Perfect!

That was when I realised how hungry I was. After a few unsuccessfull attempts to find more food we had agreed it would be easier to just graze the grass and keep on the move so we didn't run out. Maybe we would find some food anyway if we stayed on the move. We had also agreed to stay close to the river so we always had water handy.

I bent my neck down and took a bite out of the grass. It actually wasn't that bad. No wonder caveponies ate this stuff! Of course after a few seconds all of the fresh grass was out of reach so I stepped forward. After a while I had just started walking along and taking bites of the grass. Every so often I felt like I should turn. Dunno why.

For some reason I continued eating long after I was full. I should have felt guilty about not saving it for the others but I didn't, and it felt like I needed to finish something. After a while I finally stopped.

Pinkie Pie, having clearly ignored Twilight's warning about airquakes, was tail-helicopter-flying above me. "Wow!" she yelled. "I'm thurprithed how legibly you managed to thubconthiously write 'Poithon Mint' in the grath!"

Okay, what?!

"Simply fabulous, darling!"

"Really? You really think so?"

Rainbow Dash nodded. "I love all the, well, rainbows."

Sweetie Belle blushed. Toola-Roola sighed, blowing her mane out of her eyes. "Rainbow Dash, you love everything with rainbows!"

"What's wrong with that?"

Sweetie Belle smiled, using her magic to add a few more shades of pink to the swirling colours. Scootaloo stared. "That's really impressive, Sweetie!"

"It ith!" declared Pinkie Pie. "In fact, it'th about to cut to Twilight thinking about jutht how imprethive it ith!"

Twilight stared. How old was that filly? Probably eleven. Even if she was just short, there was no way she was older than twelve. What had she been doing when she was twelve? Struggling in her first year of Celestia's Academy for Gifted Unicorns. The rainbow swirl spell- she had learnt it when she was almost fifteen, and even now it only just surpassed what she was seeing now. She stepped forward.

"Sweetie Belle," she asked. "Do you think you would be able to do that, but just in- err- pink, purple and blue?"

Sweetie Belle nodded, and the magnificent spiral of colours went grey for a second before once again flooding with pink, purple and blue. It seemed a little slower than before, maybe a little jerkier.

"Alright, now try with just pink."

The blue and purple faded away into pink and the spiralling slowed down more, jerking around every few seconds. After a few minutes it faded away. "Sorry!" muttered Sweetie Belle.

Twilight ignored her. "Rainbows.....rainbow magic....."

"Rainbows?" asked Sweetie Belle. "I know a lot about rainbows!"

"No, I do!" protested Rainbow dash.

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"No, I do!"

"Sorry, Rainbow," decided Scootaloo. "but I'm gonna have to give it to Sweetie Belle. She was created by rainbows, after all!"

"What?" asked Sunset, looking up.

"Oh yeah," explained Sweetie Belle. "I was created when two rainbows crossed when the others were foals for some reason."

"Shouldn't you have told me that earlier?"

"Yeah," muttered Toola-Roola, blowing her mane out of her eyes. "Great conversation starter. 'Hi, I'm Sweetie Belle, and I was created by the most inprobable thing that could possibly ever happen, because being born is too mainstream'."

"Crap!" swore Cheerilee.

Sweetie Belle blocked her ears. "What is it?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"I just realised- I could have told Scootaloo ponies are born when two rainbows line up and it would have technically been true! I didn't have to have that awkward conversation about-"

"LALALALALA! WE PROMISED WE WOULD NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS EVER AGAIN! LA LA LA LA LA!"

"What does she mean?" asked Sweetie Belle.

Twilight chose that moment to very loudly drop several books on the floor, and then pick them up with her magic and very loudly drop them again.

"Thanks!" Scootaloo mouthed.

Twilight magically grabbed one of the books again, feeling a twinge of guilt that she hadn't finished the last book and the diary. She had been too busy, what with the Sweetie-Belle-Trying-To-Kill-Everypony thing. When was a better time to start than now?

She bit her lip, sighing for a second, and opened the book.

2*10+2: The Sleepover

2*10+2: The Sleepover

Dear Diary,

I'm so excited for the sleepover! Sweetheart still wasn't at school today. She said she's 100% sure she'll make it though! Teddy was super weird all day. He seems really stressed. I mean, he's always stressed when Sweetheart's sick, but today more so. Melody says she saw him yelling into the phone. Something about boys not being hairdressers. I'm so excited!

-Bonbon

Dear Diary,

Okay, now Teddy's being super weird. Halfway through lunch he started talking about having too much homework and then ended up in a massive rant about how ponies shouldn't be forced to take up responsibilities they know they're not ready for. Weird. Oh yeah, and I have a flank-tonne of math homework. On the bright side, we have biology tomorrow and we'll learn about genetics! Patch thinks she'll be able to use genetics to find out who her parents are. I doubt it, but a girl's gotta dream!

-Bonbon

Dear Diary,

Sleepover tomorrow! I'm so excited! Sweethear finally showed up at school, thank god! So excited! Oh, better stop writing now. Mum might get upset I'm not doing my homework. My homework's not due till next term, but dad always said do it as soon as I get it. Pretty good advice- there have been times when me and Bright Eyes were the only ones that got our work done because the teachers set the due date too late and everypony forgot.

-Bonbon.

"Sweet music! Ooh, sweet music-"

"Chumba wumba gobbelty goo, life isn't fair, it's sad but it's true-"

"Sweet music! OOH, sweet music-"

"What do you do when you're stuck in a chair-"

"SWEET MUSIC! OOH, SWEET MUSIC!"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE ONE YOU CALL GOD? ISN'T HIS ABSENCE SLIGHT- LY- ODD?"

Mr. Brushstroke sighed. He was starting to regret letting the teenagers listen to music in his class.

"SWEET MUSIC-"

"CHUMBA WUMBA GOBBELTY GORSE-"

"SWEET MUSIC! OOH, SWEET MUSIC!"

"THEY WOULD TURN YOU INTO DOG FOOD-"

"Melody! Ace! If you two keep switching songs on my computer then I'll make everypony listen to Dora the Explorer!"

Melody nodded, switching back to her song. After all, she had written it. What was more important- a song written by a student in the class, or an ableist gag from Family Guy?

Ace wasn't too happy about that, closing Melody's window and playing the last part of his song. It was only a few more seconds, after all, she could wait.

"Or to chumba- wumba- gobbelty- glue!"

"That's it!" snapped Mr. Brushstroke, pushing them both away and typing on his own keyboard. Melody trotted back to her desk, snickering. "He won't actually put Dora the Explorer on, he's a grown man-"

She was cut off by the Dora the Explorer theme song, which I can't put here because of copywright, but I can put a Youtube link to a good song, so https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4. Stupid Fimfiction rules.

Starlight laughed. "Clover's gonna laugh her head off when we tell her tonight!"

After around a minute the computer grew silent, and a minute after that the bell rang. Everypony grabbed their books and shoved them into their bags before galloping out, ignoring the teacher's commands to help him clean up. After all, once the bell rang school was over, and he should have told them to pack up earlier anyway.

"See you at three!" Starlight called to the other girls as she galloped off.

That wouldn't be the first time she would gallop that day.

"Sweetheart!" yelled Teddy, grabbing his girlfriend's hoof. She sighed.

"I really truly promise I'll tell them tonight, and the next day I'll tell my parents and we can decide what to do."

"Okay," he mumbled nervously. "Just don't drink too much, okay?"

She gave him a disgusted look. "I'm not going to drink!"

She noticed the teachers walking out of their rooms and added, "We're underage!"

She trotted away, nervously glancing back. She would tell them tonight. It wouldn't be a problem. I mean, she had a whole day, and an afternoon, and the next morning. Nopony could put it off for that long. Worst case scenario, Starlight's house somehow exploded and they all died. And if they all died, it wouldn't be a problem anyway- God, that was the weirdest thing she had ever thought. These hormones were weird.

She caught up with Patch. "Hey, Patch......have you stayed in touch with Rosy?"

She stared. "Erm, yeah, why?"

"Just out of interest." If she asked enough questions, Patch wouldn't be able to guess which ones were important. "What was the orphanage like?"

"Err......I dunno, I can hardly remember it."

"Right........hey, how do you get your mane like that?"

"I've worn it like this every day for the last six years."

"Yeah, but I really truly just noticed. Also, what's your favourite colour?"

"Errm.....I'm not sure."

Patch sighed and galloped off to meet her foster parents at the gate. A short drive, a bit of packing she had forgotten to do, a slightly longer drive, and a quick hug from her mother later she was excitedly knocking on the door. "Starlight! Let me in!"

The door swung in to reveal a grinning pink pony. "You're early."

"Yeah, well, I live the closest."

She galloped inside with a grin, running into Starlight's room and throwing her bag on the floor, hurriedly getting her stuff out. A few minutes later Clover galloped in and Patch awkwardly realised she hadn't noticed the doorbell. After a while Starlight, Sweetheart, Melody, Bright Eyes, Patch, Clover and Bonbon could be found sitting in their sleeping bags in Starlight's room.

"So," asked Melody. "Who wants to try on my saddles?"

Bonbon stared at the massive bag she was holding. "How many saddles does one pony need?"

"Don't make me answer that, babe."

She rolled her eyes. Melody's constant flirting with everypony was starting to annoy them alll. "Why are we still friends with her?" whispered Patch.

"I like her mother!" answered Sweetheart unhelpfully.

A few hours of (to everypony but Bonbon and Melody, reluctantly) trying on saddles, and a few minutes of reading surprisingly entertaining terrible fanfictions (including one Harry Trotter fic invlolving somepony called Ebony where everypony was either an evil 'prep' or a cool 'goff', and a fair few that really needed a 'dead dove, do not eat' warning), they galloped downstairs and threw themselves onto the couch.

"Alright," asked Starlight. "Family Guy, Futurama or Simpsons?"

"Family Guy," decided Patch. "Ace got that dumb song stuck in my head."

"Can we watch something a little less....I dunno......dark?" asked Sweetheart.

"I like Futurama," muttered Bright Eyes.

"How about we just watch Total Drama?" asked Melody.

They heard what sounded like static interference and a loud voice through a megaphone.

"PLEASE EXIT YOUR HOMES WITH YOUR HOOVES UP. THIS IS NOT A JOKE."

Clover laughed. "Good one, Patch, you're getting better at voice acting. When did you record that and where's the player?"

Patch stared around. She really was very good at pretending to be nervous. "That's....That's not me, guys."

"PLEASE EXIT THE BUILDING WITH YOUR HOOVES UP OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO BLOW UP THE BUILDING."

Sweetheart bit her lip. "I think we should go outside. Starlight, go wake your parents up."

"Yeah, right!" yelled Melody. "Sweetheart, are you in on this or just gullible?"

"I'm telling you, guys," yelled Patch, positively panicking now. "this isn't me! You know I suck at imitating voices! Starlight- you saw me unpacking my stuff! I didn't have anything that could record sound!"

"She does have a good point...." mumbled Starlight.

"THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING: PLEASE EXIT THE BUILDING WITH YOUR HOOVES UP OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO MAKE USE OF OUR GRENADES. THIS IS NOT A JOKE, REPEAT: THIS IS NOT A JOKE."

Sweetheart stood up. "Look, if it turns out that this is just a joke, then you can do what you like. But I'm going out the back door and I really truly believe you should follow me."

She stared at them for a second and trotted off. Bonbon sighed. "I'm going with her. This could be real."

She nervously walked off. Starlight stood up. "I'm going to go and wake up my parents. They'll know what to do."

Sweetheart looked behind her as she walked out and forced herself not to say anything to Bonbon. She felt a twinge of guilt for keeping it this long- it looked like she wouldn't get a good chance tonight, and any longer and they would start noticing....

She backed away, staring at the house and wondering if Patch was about to come out laughing her head off. She swore she could see strange-looking beige horses standing on their hind legs with no tails. She backed away a little to get a better look.

In approximately half a second, she would be oh, so glad she did.

Before she knew it, she heard the loudest noise she's ever heard and saw what looked like a massive ball of fire was erupting from the middle of the house. Parts of the wall flew at her. She saw Bonbon galloping inside, and felt a twinge of guilt for not having done the same already. Her friends......but the smoke, she could get herself killed......but her friends.....

She bit her lip, sighed, and galloped in.

Smoke. Fire. Half-destroyed table. She noticed Bonbon pathetically trying to lift a massive wooden beam off of Bright Eyes. She galloped forward and helped her lift it, throwing it across to the ground. Bright Eyes jumped to her four hooves, coughing. "Starlight!" she muttered urgently. "Her parents' room- it's at the end of the hallway, if it catches fire she'll-"

"I'm on it!" yelled Patch. Sweetheart stepped forward to follow her, then stopped herself. If she died, Teddy would kill her, she thought in an attempt to justify it as Patch galloped past her.

The peach mare galloped past them and through to the hallway, staring in front of her. A section of the carpet was completely engulfed in flames. She bit her lip. Would Starlight have the wits and courage to jump out the window? Probably, but it wasn't a risk she felt right taking. She took a deep breath and galloped.

For a second she felt the heat of the fire. But before she knew it she was pushing the door open to see Starlight standing over her parents, who were scrambling out of bed.

"Starlight!" yelled Patch. "We have to get out!"

She turned around as she heard hoofsteps. It sounded like whoever was coming was on their hind legs. She prayed it was the others.

If only.

She gasped aloud as a beige......thing walked in. It was wearing strange clothes in all shades of green, standing on its hind legs. Its front legs ended in big flat things, which divided up into five different sausage-things. Its face was so flat it was just crazy, and it was holding what looked like a glorified, black stick. It adjusted its hold with one of the hoof-sausages and there was a resounding bang.

Starlight screamed. Patch stared at the thing, then turned around and kicked out. She felt her back hooves meet the glass, then looked back at her work. "Everypony out!"

At that moment a lot of things happened at once.

The stick-thingy made the bang noise again. Starlight swore she saw blood splattering onto the floor. Before she could do anything to see if her parents were okay, though, she felt Patch's hoof pulling her backwards. The broken glass scratched her skin, and then she was falling.

She groaned slightly as she hit the ground hard and stumbled to her hooves. "My parents-" she stammered.

"There's no time!" snapped Bonbon, galloping. That was when Starlight noticed the others- Sweetheart, Melody, Bright Eyes and Clover galloped past her, and she and Patch followed. By the time they caught up, there were more of the things, all holding the sticks. The air was filled with their bangs.

It was about half a minute before they heard Clover screaming.

Everypony galloped over to her. Blood was spewing out of her right flank, her Cutie Mark completely obscured by the red liquid. Patch lifted her up onto her back and kept going, and they galloped.

9th Prime Number: Blank Flank

"Geez, Minty," asked Scootaloo. "What is up with your obsession with drawing your Cutie Mark? And what's that weird blot around it?"

The green mare simply shrugged in response.

"Hey guyth!" yelled Pinkie Pie from the sky. "Thomepony'th coming!"

She stopped spinning her tail and fell onto the ground, then through the ground, then back from the sky again. This time she landed properly on the ground.

At that moment a green stallion with dark red hair trotted into view. Cheerilee noticed five apples on his flank and noted to herself that he was probably in the Apple family, so he was probably trustworthy. She stepped forward. "Err, hi-"

"Howdy!" he said happily. "Ah'm Apple. Apple Apple."

"Wow," muttered Toola-Roola 'Bhruis-Pheantaidh Gaileiridh-Ceàird, blowing her mane out of her eyes. "That name makes a lot of sense. Your parents were real smart."

He ignored her, instead trotting over to Scootaloo and staring at her. "Ya know, Ah'm meant ta be turnin' all savavors in to Puddinghead, but I'll cut ya a deal: You can stay 'ere, and Ah'll bring ya food if ya need it, on one condition."

Rainbow Dash stared. "What, darling?"

He grinned a wild grin, gestured to Scootaloo, and answered simply.

"Her hoof in marriage."

There was an instant uproar among the older mares, and instant excitement in Scootaloo.

"Cool beans!" yelled Scootaloo. "I'm getting married!"

"What?" choked Cheerilee. "No!"

"Awww, please?"

"Scootaloo, you don't know what you're agreeing to! Marriage isn't just like that, it's.....well.....and you're too young......."

"Is that ya final decision?"

"No!" screamed Cheerilee. "Get the hell away from my sister, you freak!"

"Alright then, ya leave me with no choice. Ya comin' with me."

"But-" protested Scootaloo.

"Scootaloo, darling," said Rainbow Dash sternly. "Your sister's right. A stallion can't marry a little filly."

"Why not?"

"Because the grown-ups said so."

"Come on!" he ordered. Cheerilee bit her lip. If they ran, they would be accepting to his deal, or at least in his eyes. She had to go along with it, so she trotted forward.

"Why can't a stallion marry a filly?" asked Scootaloo, looking wide-eyed at her sister. She sighed, and wished she could be having any conversation except this one.

"Well, you see, err....You remember that time you caught Minty-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll tell him the deal's back on!" snarled Minty.

"Alright, remember that time you saw that fanfiction that had 'dead dove, do not eat' on it, and you didn't know what it meant so you read it, and afterwards you thought it was just weird?"

"Yeah, it was weird!" chimed the filly. "Like, who wants to read about a bunch of mares that really need to pee? And what does omorashi mean?"

"Hey," demanded Rainbow Dash. "Your sister read my fanfiction?! Why didn't you tell me, darling?"

"It was awkward enough as it was."

She turned to her younger sister. "Well, some ponies......err.....enjoy reading about weird things like that. It's not a bad thing, usually, but most of the time, if a grown-up likes a foal, it's because.....well........it's like the mares in Rainbow's fanfiction, but instead of......that......it's foals that they like."

"So? What's wrong with that?"

The older mare groaned. "Well, you see, sometimes reading or writing about it isn't enough, and they want to see it happen to real ponies in real life. And normally that's fine- well, I guess it's fine- but sometimes they like other things, like ponies getting hurt or doing.......certain things to them without their permission, and that's what I'm worried about."

"Alright."

She sighed in relief, deciding that was enough for now. A few minutes later they arrived in front of a massive building that seemed to be made of smoke, while simeltaneously being made from nothing but diamonds. "Back in a second," Apple muttered before galloping inside. A second later he returned. "Follow me, Puddinghead wants to see you."

He trotted back inside. The others followed. They went up some stairs, then done the same stairs, then up the same stairs again, then back down, then back up. This time at the top of the stairs was a door. Apple pushed it open to reveal a familiar yellow pony.

"Mayor Flitter Flutter?" choked Toola-Roola, blowing her mane out of her eyes.

"My name is Chancellor Puddinghead. Now......Apple Apple, take the narwhals and featherdusters to the basement. I'll talk to the others."

As Apple began pushing Sweetie Belle, Twilight, Sunset, Celestia and StarSong away, Luna grabbed at her sister. "If she goes, I go!"

Puddinghead rolled her eyes. "Fine, you can both stay. Take the rest of them down."

He pushed them out of view. "Now...." muttered Puddinghead.

She summoned a bottle of water out of nowhere in her hoof and sipped the bottle before throwing the water at Kimono. The lump of water sat on her head for a good ten seconds before reality caught up and her mane got wet. The yellow mare grabbed an eraser out of nowhere, throwing it into the air and catching it with her mouth. She trotted past the ten mares before biting on the eraser again and swallowing it.

"Yes!" she yelled, staring at their flanks. "It worked!"

They all followed her gaze, instinctively looking at their own flanks.

Their blank flanks.

Anagram of Vixx: These chapter titles are hard, I'll think of one later!

Author's Note

The last part is Melody's POV

Anagram of Vixx: These chapter titles are hard, I'll think of one later!

"I think it's safe to stop now....." Patch panted, dropping Clover onto the floor and making a pathetic attempt to wipe the blood off her side.

Sweetheart instinctively galloped forward- she was the only one apart from Melody (who had been forced into it by her mother) who had done first aid and she still held onto her dream of being a doctor, so everypony just assumed it would be her job. "Does anypony have a phone?" she asked.

Bright Eyes nodded, grabbing out her phone and fumbling through the apps until she was dialing the number that had been drilled into her mind for years.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Forcing the lack of response into the back of her mind, Sweetheart wiped the blood away from Clover's flank until she could properly see where it was coming from: a tiny, but very deep, hole. She pressed onto it with her hooves, looking around instinctively.

"Melody!" she yelled, noticing her friend's stockings. "Give me your stockings!"

"Eh?"

Patch tackled the hot pink mare, forcefully pulling her stockings off and handing them to Sweetheart, who carefully tied it around the wound.

"Man," she whispered. "Just last week I told myself that Teddy arguing with me was worth it to not get covered in blood all the time.....Is anypony else hurt?"

There was no response.

"Right," muttered Bright Eyes. "Now we need to figure out what we're going to do. First of all, Sweetheart, Bonbon, Patch- it's about time one of you said 'I told you so'."

"I told you so!" yelled Patch.

"Alright then. Now that we've gotten that out of the way......"

She looked around. They were in some sort of grassy plain, the smoking remains of their little town visible in the distance. It looked like Starlight's wasn't the only house that was blown up. With a keen eye, they could see the things marching around.

"I say we stay here for a while," Starlight decided. "But if they come, we leave. Hopefully soon the police or army or whatever will be pouring in to help."

"Sorry," asked Melody. "could you repeat everything you just said?"

They all turned to stare at her. "What?" she asked.

"Melody," asked Sweetheart nervously. "Can you hear me?"

No answer.

"She was pretty close to the explosion....." muttered Starlight.

Melody bit her lip. "Guys, what are you talking about?"

Damn, Sweetheart thought. Now she needs help too. I guess really truly I won't get a chance to tell them after all.

"Err- does anypony have any paper?"

"Here," volunteered Bright Eyes. "Just type on the texting screen on my phone."

Sweetheart nodded and grabbed the phone, pressing a few buttons and ending up with an on-screen keyboard and a bunch of texts from Bright Eyes' dad. She started typing letters into it before showing it to Melody.

The explosion probably damaged your hearing.

"Wh-what?" the hot pink mare stamered.

Sweetheart simply nodded. She sighed, looking at her hooves. "Clover, I know it's really truly not your fault, but I had really truly hoped I wouldn't get covered in blood for another year."

She took Bright Eyes' phone back and erased the last message, typing in her own. This was the only way- the alternative was Melody asking what all the fuss was about and having to type it in and explain, and that would take away the impact. She sighed, and handed it to her friend, who promptly gasped.

"What do you mean, you're pregnant?"

Everypony gasped.

"What? When did this happen?"

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Does Teddy know?"

"How far along are you?"

"How the hell did you get pregnant?"

"Err- About a month ago, Teddy told me not to, yes he knows, about a month, and I had sex."

Patch continued to stare, open-mouthed, as if it was a concept she couldn't possibly grasp.

"You had sex?"

"Yes." Then added, for good measure, "With Teddy."

"When?!"

"Several times, one of which got me pregnant."

"But- but-"

"Shut up, Patch!" snapped Starlight, stepping forward. "Congrats, Sweetheart. Is that what you and Teddy were arguing about?"

"Yeah. He wanted me to- to get an- an ab- he said we were too young to look after a foal. I was going to tell you at the sleepover, but then we started trying on saddles, and then we were busy watching TV and I forgot, and then....well, you know the rest."

She sighed. "I wonder if Teddy's okay now."

"I'm hungry!" whined Bonbon.

"Me too...." mumbled Clover, stumbling to her hooves.

Starlight sighed. "I'll go to the local store and see if anypony's there. If it's empty I'm stealing."

Starlight trotted off. Eh? Where's she going?

Bright Eyes read the look on my face, typing something into her phone and passing it to me. She's going to buy/steal food.

Right. That makes sense. Hopefully she gets paper and pens too. That phone battery's not gonna last forever.

I saw Clover and couldn't help but notice my stocking tied around her flank. I realised awkwardly that Patch had to tackle me to get it off because I couldn't hear Sweetheart. Damn, probably looked like I care more about my clothes than Clover.

I trotted over to her. I know she can't really stand on her hind legs to type a message, but I'd rather sit in silence with her than on my own. Poor girl. And to think just last month we were all making silly little jokes at each other's expense. That time we went to see that weirdo who could 'read minds' and they made me walk around all day with a post-it note on my head saying 'Dead dove, do not eat' so the mind-reader wasn't scarred for life without any warning.

And here I am now.

In a few minutes Starlight comes back, a brown bag like the one Bonbon used to have when we were ten slung over her shoulder. She dumped it onto the ground and it fell open, revealing a few bandages, pens and paper (thank God), a diary for some reason, and a few dozen chocolate bars.

Yes! Pens and paper! Good, I was starting to worry about that phone battery. Patch is horrible at charades.

I'd tell you what happened next, but you'd never believe me.

Cinco squared: Not So Blank Flanks

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

4*6+2-2+2: Tiger Fight

4*6+2-2+2: Tiger Fight

"Anypony mind if I call dibs on this diary?"

Starlight rolled her eyes. "Why do you think I stole it, Bonbon?"

Bonbon rolled her eyes and grabbed one of the chocolate bars. The others, sensing that this could easily end with Bonbon having everything, raced forward to grab a few each. "Was there anypony at the shop?" asked Bright Eyes.

Starlight shook her head. "I just grabbed what they had and galloped before anypony could see me. They blew up all the houses in sight, half of them are still burning. Nopony 'round for miles."

Bright Eyes shuddered. "I'm sure somepony will comne and rescue us soon.....The army, fireponies, rescue teams, somepony!"

"What if there's nopony left to rescue us?" asked Bonbon, biting her lip. "What if they killed everypony that could rescue us?"

"Impossible, there are hundreds of different teams that could help us and each of them have hundreds or thousands of ponies, and this obviously started only a few hours before they came to us or it would be all over the news."

"But...." mumbled Clover. "What if there's not enough of them to get to us? I mean.....This isn't a big important city or anything, if they attacked us then there's no way it's just us. They'll be focusing on big cities with loads of ponies. And since they're not answering, there's no way for them to even know we're here....."

Bright Eyes shook her head. "Somepony's coming to save us. They have to."

Sweetheart, meanwhile, had taken to pointlessly pacing around. She sniffed at the ground, nibbling at the grass absentmindedly, then spat it out. That wasn't grass. She looked down. Stuffing, and a piece of brown fabric. There was a little more stuffing up ahead. She instinctively galloped forward until she found a very familiar teddy bear.

Teddy Bear.

Teddy.

She picked it up in her mouth and galloped back to the others, dumping it on the floor. Clover stared. "Is that-"

"Teddy's bear, I'm sure it is. He's around here somewhere."

They all looked at each other (except Bonbon, who scribbled it down for Melody on one of the sheets of paper). "Well?" asked Sweetheart expectantly after a few seconds. "Aren't we going to search?"

"We can't all go," decided Patch. "Big groups make noise, and Clover still can't walk." She grinned knowingly, moving over to Sweetheart's side. "So.....who's with us?"

"I'll come," decided Starlight. "Anypony else?"

Nopony else stood up.

"Alright!" muttered Patch. "Time for an adventure!"

She grinned wildly, galloping off. Starlight shrugged. "I guess we're going that way."

She galloped off and Sweetheart followed. A few minutes later they were in the forest. Starlight nervously trotted forward. "Is it just me, or can I hear something?"

Sweetheart stood in silence, and soon she heard it too. A low growling in the distance. A wild animal, maybe? Or had Patch just blown up multiple houses, including the one she was in, just for the sake of this prank? Probably the former.

"You'd better go," mumbled Starlight, turning to the white mare. "Patch and I will keep looking!"

"Why would I ever leave you! You're really truly my best friends!"

"Well, you know......We wouldn't want anything to happen to you...."

Sweetheart rolled her eyes. "I'm staying."

"Alright, if you insist....."

Patch looked around. "What do you think it is? A wolf or something?"

"Why would there be wolves out here?" protested Starlight. "It sounds more like a tiger, anyway-"

"Why would there be tigers out here?" asked Sweetheart.

"The zoo, duh!" answered Patch.

"Zoo animals tend to stay in the zoo-" began Starlight, but Patch was quick to counter.

"Don't they always have guards at the zoo, to check for lock problems and call for help if something gets out? They'd be either dead, out cold, or a mile away and still galloping?"

"What, and they galloped for their life, casually releasing dangerous animals after them to make it more fun?"

"Remember, Starlight? Half of your walls fell apart. Even if the locks survived, they wouldn't be much use when you could just walk around them through the wall, or when they were a few metres away, still on the broken door?"

Sweetheart bit her lip. "They wouldn't bother with more than one bomb, and the zoo's huge. There's no way they blew apart all the cages."

"Exactly. But it would have weakened the bars, and probably broke the lock. Tigers are strong."

Sweetheart instinctively looked around. "Do you really think there could be a tiger?"

Patch nodded grimly. At that moment they heard a roar in the distance. Starlight bit her lip, swiftling turning her head. "Over there," she whispered, pointing. "Quiet."

They all turned to see, in the low light, what looked like a massive stripy cat. It growled at them for a second, then pounced.

Sweetheart screamed and galloped. The others followed, and the chase was on. The whole time it felt like they were half a second from certain doom, like the way they had just jumped forward was the only reason they were alive. They were so busy galloping they didn't notice that there were too many pounding hooves for only three ponies.

Starlight was first to notice. She pulled up, glancing behind her. A familiar blue stallion was jumping onto the tiger, pushing it away from the girls. A blue stallion none of them could possibly miss.

"Teddy!" screamed Sweetheart.

He turned to her, grinning, and kicked out with his back legs, knocking the beast back further. Within the second it caught up, raising onto its hind legs and slashing at Teddy's neck. The blue stallion recoiled, striking again with his front hooves and galloping. Starlight, Sweetheart and Patch followed.

"I- I think we lost it....." muttered Patch after a while. Teddy grinned, striking a pose and glancing at Sweetheart.

"You can thank me later!" he declared before he hit the ground.

"Teddy!" yelped Sweetheart, kneeling over him. His eyelids fluttered open. He caught sight of the scratches on his neck and jerked his head upwards, as if he was trying to get away from them. He awkwardly stumbled to his hooves, shaking.

"Teddy?" said Sweetheart gently. "Are you okay?"

"I....I think so...." he stammered.

"Don't worry," she reassured. "Melody and the others are out near the town. They've got supplies. Come on. And yes, before you ask, I told them."

He nodded weakly, stumbling forward. "So, what happened to you fillies?"

"We were at my house," explained Starlight. "Then we heard these voices telling us to get out. We assumed it was just one of Patch's jokes, so Sweetheart and Bonbon were the only ones that actually left. Then they dropped a bomb on the house, and I galloped to see if my parents were okay-"

"And then," interupted Patch. "I went to get Starlight, and lemme tell you, I was faster than Foxy- like, seriously, if this was the game then the player would look at the camera and see me and they'd put it down to close the door but I'd just pop out like BAM! And then-"

"Patch!" snapped Starlight.

"Sorry. Anyway, I went into Starlight's parents' room, and then this weird thing came in on its hind legs, and then Starlight and I jumped out the window and we all galloped for it. Of course, I had to carry Clover for most of it, but that wasn't a problem, since I'm so amazingly strong- hey, are you listening?"

"What? Oh yeah, I'm paying attention."

He stumbled forward, almost collapsing to his knees. Starlight stared. "Teddy, are you okay?"

"Yeah.....I'm fine...." he muttered.

Sweetheart sighed. "Teddy, you really don't look so good. Maybe we should stop and rest."

"Trust me, baby- really, I'm fine-"

He suddenly collapsed onto Sweetheart, who gently lowered him to the ground. "Don't tell him I told you," she whispered. "but he's really not good with blood. Patch, do you think you can carry him back?"

"Why do I always have to carry ponies?" she muttered angrily, but that was her only complaint as she lifted the stallion onto her back. She trotted forward hurriedly, and the others followed. It was about a minute before she felt Teddy's hoof kicking her.

"Let me down!" he began, sitting up. Sweetheart glared.

"No, Teddy," she said forcefully. "You're not walking back."

"But I'm-"

"Teddy," snapped Starlight. "You fought a tiger. And then you passed out. And then you spent ten minutes stumbling around like you do when you're drunk, and then passed out again."

"But- oh, forget it. How much futher do we have to go?"

"Not too far," muttered Sweetheart. "We're nearly out of the forest now."

A few minutes of walking later they found the others. It was already starting to get dark out, the moon hidden behind a cloud. Bright Eyes was the first to see them. "Sweetheart! Gosh, is Teddy okay?"

"I'm fine!" he insisted, standing up. "It's just a few scratches!"

Sweetheart rolled her eyes, grabbing one of the chocolate bars and handing it to him. She took one of the bandages and started unrolling it. "So," she asked, more to distact him then to actually know. "what happened to you before the tiger fight?"

"The what?" asked Bonbon.

"There was a fight with a tiger," Starlight explained. "Bonbon, you write this down for Mels. So, Teddy, what's your story?"

He grinned. "Promise you won't accuse me of lying?"

Dear Diary,

Well, the good news is, we found Teddy! Well, Sweetheart, Starlight and Patch did. I just sat here eating chocolate. Speaking of which, there's barely any left now. I suppose I should go get more tomorrow since I ate so much. It's Starlight's fault for not getting anything else though, I'll get.....err.....something else. And Teddy's about to tell us what happened to him before the 'tiger fight', whatever that is. I'd better finish this up now, I have to write it down for Melody. Pretty ironic, how the music lover ended up deaf. I just wonder what happened to Teddy, he looks real shaken up. Still, though, dude fought a tiger. And from the look on his face, that's not the weirdest part.

VII+XX: Where's The Bathroom

"Five TARDIS's, a pizzeria full of animatronics trying to kill us, another pizzeria with a purple foal killer and a weird gold animatronic that bit a kid and somehow crushed his skull, several wolves, six rooms devoted entirely to cowboy hats, six pocket universes, one of which involves my fanfiction being real, a room where a pony on fire and an electric zebra were fighting to the death, a room devoted entirely to a weird beige tail-less bipedal pony singing about America, and multiple planets, and we still haven't found the bathroom?"

"It is getting a bit over-the-top..." muttered Cheerilee.

"A bit? A BIT?!" choked Rainbow Dash. "Darling, there have been six pocket universes! Six! And a pizzeria full of animatronics trying to kill us! Which idiots made this place? Hey, are you enjoying this?"

Cheerilee quickly wiped the smirk off her face. "Well, you did make me have that awkward conversation with Scootaloo after she read your fanfic-"

"You're still upset about that?"

"No, it just seems.....fitting."

"Darling, can we not talk about that fanfic?"

Cheerilee nodded, sighing. She was only doing this because Rainbow was too chicken to go on her own. Probably for the best, though, considering what they had found in the rooms, but she was starting to wish she could be sleeping. How long could this take?

They shoved the door closed and trudged back up the stairs, coming face to face with another door. Cheerilee stepped forward. Yellow ponies on their hind legs with no tails, three with the same yellow colour for their manes, and one with no mane, and one with a blue beehive. "Why you little-" the bald one yelled. She shut the door and they went back downstairs.

This time Rainbow Dash opened the door. A grey robot breaking apart to reveal another weird-looking bipedal tail-less pony, a brown one with a dark mane. She slammed it shut and galloped back upstairs. By this point she was absolutely desperate. Of course, what she saw was a beige tail-less pony in a wheelchair, with orange tail-less ponies with green manes marching around on their hind legs.

"What do you think of the one you call God? Isn't his abscence slight.....ly.....odd?"

Cheerilee rolled her eyes, trotting back downstairs and opening the next door. Another of those weird ponies. Beige with orange mane and wearing a red jacket, and another beige one with one eye and a purple mane. She shut the door, trotting back upstairs and opening the next door.

More of the weird bipedal ponies with no tails, but these ones were familiar. One of them had Rainbow's blue coat (or rather, skin, in the case of the weird pony), and even her rainbow mane and ponytail. Another one looked just like Cheerilee. They rolled their eyes and went back downstairs.

Rainbow opened the door this time. Another of the weird no-tail ponies, this one beige with blonde hair and wearing pyjamas. She looked around Scootaloo's age. She was holding a weird black thing, like a book turned on its side, except the bottom part had letters on it and the top part had a large picture of Pinkie Pie's Cutie Mark, next to the word SurprisePinkiePinkiePie.

There was a box on the screen, under that, with the title Featured Stories, and some more words saying Three and a Half Mares. Above that was a badly drawn picture of Celestia, Twilight dying, Cheerilee angry, Luna looking shocked and Scootaloo, along with some writing they couldn't read and a photo of Minty.

"Gosh," mumbled Cheerilee. "That SurprisePinkiePinkiePie person is a real loser!"

She trotted back upstairs and pulled the door open. A black room with nothing but a wooden table with some chairs around it and a lamp on the table. They were about to dissmiss it as another useless room when they felt somepony push past them.

They stared forward. To the left, the yellow figure of Puddinghead; to the right, Apple; and in the middle, cowering to the ground and stumbling, was Sweetie Belle.

"Sweetie Belle, darling!" yelled Rainbow Dash. "Are you okay?"

Sweetie Belle glanced back only for Apple to roughly push her inside. "You get set up," he muttered to Puddinghead as they went inside. "Ah think these two 'ave some 'splainin' to do."

Cheerilee gulped. "We- we were just looking for the bathroom-"

"Is that so? Then 'ow come ya'll are lurking 'round 'ere?"

"We were about to leave," muttered Rainbow Dash. "So....err.....we'll be going now! Bye!"

She started to gallop down the stairs. She was halfway down when she heard a filly screaming. She rolled her eyes and turned to Cheerilee. "I don't suppose we can find the bathroom and then rescue her, darling?"

The look on Cheerilee's face as she went back upstairs was enough, and so Rainbow Dash followed, throwing all her weight against the door. It fell onto the ground. Apple sighed. "It was unlocked. It opens the other way."

They ignored him, galloping over to Sweetie Belle. "Are you alright, darling?"

"T-T-" she stammered. "Tell them I-I don't know anything about rainbows! They think I know about them, they-"

Cheerilee glared at Puddinghead and Apple. "She doesn't know anything about rainbows, she's just a filly!"

"She has to!" protested Apple. "She was born when the two rainbows crossed! No way that 'appened bah accident, somepony was tryna make 'er!"

Rainbow gasped. "That's impossible, darling!"

"No," corrected Puddinghead. "It's not only possible, it's certain. Rainbow magic is powerful, but it couldn't create a foal out of nothing. Not without a Unicorn directing it."

"Well I don't know!" snapped Sweetie Belle. A second later she blushed fiercely. "Sorry...."

"You're sure she doesn't know?" asked Puddinghead. Rainbow Dash and Cheerilee nodded. She sighed. "Apple, take her back, then. You two....do whatever it was you were doing."

The two mares trotted out. It was about ten seconds before Rainbow Dash was painfully reminded of the reason they had left in the first place. She groaned.

"Five TARDIS's, a pizzeria full of animatronics trying to kill us, another pizzeria with a purple foal killer and a weird gold animatronic that bit a kid and somehow crushed his skull, several wolves, six rooms devoted entirely to cowboy hats, six pocket universes, one of which involves my fanfiction being real, a room where a pony on fire and an electric zebra were fighting to the death, a room devoted entirely to a weird beige tail-less bipedal pony singing about America, a room with yellow tail-less ponies, a room full of bipedal versions of us with no tails, a room full of ponies marching around somepony in a wheelchair singing, a room with some loser called SurprisePinkiePinkiePie and multiple planets, and we still haven't found the bathroom?"

Author's Note

What was I thinking? I don't know either.

28: Flying Ponies

Author's Note

The last part is Bright Eyes' POV

28: Flying Ponies

"Alright," began Teddy. "So, I was in the middle of rickrolling Rick Astley-"
"What?" demanded Starlight.
"Okay, so maybe I was rickrolling some random Internet dude instead. Maybe. Anyway, I was in the middle of rickrolling somepony when I heard these weird voices. I assumed my computer was acting up and ignored it. Ten minutes later those weird beige things busted the door down. So I galloped past them and went downstairs. And of course, being as amazing as I am, I used my powers of super cool to summon-"
"Teddy!" snapped Sweetheart, almost dropping the bandages she was wrapping around his neck.
"Okay, so maybe that's not exactly what happened. Anyway....remember how I made you promise not to accuse me of lying?"
They all nodded.
"So, how would you react if I told you that was when a flying pony flew in?"
"We'd probably tell you to stop messing around, you goose, and tell us what actually happened." answered Bright Eyes.
"No, I'm serious! She was pink, with blue hair, and a blue lightning Cutie Mark! You've gotta believe me-"
"Teddy," muttered Clover. "If you're going to prank us, you should at least make it funny. Right, Patch?"
Patch had been deadly silent since he mentioned the flying ponies. "He's not lying," she said simply. "Remember, Brightglow?"
Bonbon rolled her eyes. "Patch, not this again! If there were Pegasi there, I would have seen them!"
"You were too sick, remember? You weren't paying attention!"
"Wait," asked Starlight. "So you two are telling me there are flying ponies?"
They both nodded. The others looked uncertainly at each other. After a few silent seconds, Sweetheart stepped forward. "I believe you."
"Me too!" agreed Clover.
"But-" protested Bright Eyes. "Flying ponies aren't real! That's a scientific fact!
"It is!" agreed Starlight.
"There's no way I was sick enough to not notice flying ponies and magic!" snapped Bonbon.
"I-I believe them."
They all turned to Melody. It took a second for them to register it had even been her speaking. It had been hours since she had last heard anypony talking, and that was long enough to forget, especially as she couldn't hear herself. It seemd higher pitched than normal, the stess on all the wrong syllables.
"Alright, Teddy," insisted Sweetheart, ignoring the protests from Bright Eyes, Starlight and Bonbon. "Carry on."
"Alright, so the flying pony flew in and bucked down the beige things. I think they might have been dead. Then she told me to gallop and flew out. So I galloped outside and went for the woods. Then I found you three running from a tiger, for some reason."
"Duh, it chased us!" replied Patch, grinning.
Half a second later she sneezed violently, grabbing a white feather out of the air. "Eh? How did this get here?"
She instinctively looked up. White mare. Blond mane and tail, her hair poofy and messy. She couldn't see her Cutie Mark, but there was purple on her flank. And on each side of her body were feathery wings. "Look!" she yelled, pointing upwards.
The others followed her eyes and saw the pony too. "See!" Teddy snickered. "We weren't lying!"
"But-" protested Bright Eyes. "That's impossible! Flying ponies can't exist! They would need massive wings to support their weight, and that would mean they would have to go too high to breathe properly while flapping to avoid trees!"
"Well, that doesn't change the fact that they're real!"
Starlight rolled her eyes. "Patch, look around. My house was blown up. For all we know, we're the last of ponykind. We're having to steal food, for crying out loud. What the hell made you think it's appropriate to prank us now?!"
"What?" countered Patch. "How the hell would I fake that?"
"Look!" shouted Teddy, pointing to the air. Another pony was in the air, this one blue with pink hair. She flew off out of sight.
"Knock it off!" snapped Bright Eyes. "Patch, we all know this is a joke, and it's not funny!"
"Ugh!" screamed Patch. "For crying out loud! We were caught in an explosion because you assumed I was pranking you, and you haven't learned a thing! How would I make the ponies appear in the sky? How?!"
"Well I don't know!" yelled Bonbon. "What makes more sense, that everything we spent years learning was wrong and magic is real, or that a prankster pranked us?"
"Why do you blame everything on me?!"
"Why can't you just tell the truth?!" answered Bright Eyes.
"Ugh! That's it, I'm leaving!"
She angrily stomped off. Teddy bit his lip. "I'm going with her."
"Me too," agreed Sweetheart, grabbing the bandages with her mouth and moving to her boyfriend's side even though a part of her knew if she refused then Teddy would stay for her sake. The two trotted after the peach-coloured mare. A few seconds of delay, then Clover limped forward. "Wait for me!"
Patch rolled her eyes, trotting back and grabbing the purple mare onto her back before trotting away.

"Okay, that's it. I'm exhausted. You two can get food later."
Clover barely had time to stand up before she saw Patch collapsing onto the grass. She could hardly blame her. "So," muttered Teddy. "What now?"
Patch grinned. "Well, isn't it obvious? Find the flying ponies."
Teddy rolled his eyes. "Yes. Four teenagers, all of which are average in everything except a few skills that are useless in this situation. One of which can't walk. One of which is pregnant. Journeying across Ponyland to prove that flying ponies exist. What could possibly go wrong?"
"Relax!" insisted Patch. "I know a lot about life from video games!"
"Like?"
"Foxy always comes from the left door, and very rarely on the first night, so you just have to check the cameras in Pirate's Cove quickly. Golden Freddy only appears if you look at a poster of Freddy that randomly changes into Golden Freddy, he'll vanish if you just pull up the monitor quickly enough but if you don't he'll make you hallucinate and crash the game, and he comes in even if both doors are closed. Freddy only appears on the first night if you run out of power, and from the left door. You can't close the door but you can delay him slightly by staying still, which might be enough to get you to six o'clock. Bonnie and Chica-"
"How exactly will this be helpful in real life?" asked Sweetheart.
"Details, details!"
She grinned, trotting forward. "So, when shall we start?"

Alright. Everything's fine. She doesn't mean it. She'll come back in a second. Everything's fine.
"OhmygodwhathaveIdone?! ItsallmyfaultandnowPatchandSweetheartandTeddyandCloveraregone!"
I collapsed to the ground, wheezing. Starlight trotted over to me, placing a hoof on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Bright. It wasn't your fault. We all argued with Patch."
"She's probably just planning to surprise us even more when she finally 'fesses up," assured Bonbon.
I'm not so sure anymore. Why would she stomp off if it was just a prank? Why would she prank us now? How would she make the flying ponies appear? What about Teddy, is he in on it too? When did they plan it? On the other hoof......Scientists spent hundreds of years searching for any evidence of Pegasi and Unicorns and found none, and then just to prove the myths wrong they calculated how much wingpower a Pegasus would need and made sure there were no scientific things that could give the impression of being magic.
I don't know what to think anymore. I need some time to think this over, so I grabbed the brown bag Starlight had stolen. "I'm going to steal some food."
Bonbon stood up. "I'll come, for reasons that have nothing to do with stealing chocolate bars while we're there and eating them on the way back."
I sighed, trotting off. She followed. I knew the path to the store, I had been down it a hundred times. It was only a few minutes before candy wrappers were falling onto the floor and Bonbon was stuffing her face. I assumed it would be a quick trip: grab as much food (and anything else useful) as I could fit in the bag and leave.
That was when I heard the hoofsteps.
Bonbon and I both stood dead still for a few seconds, listening. After a few seconds I stepped forward, towards the door, and swung it open, looking around. Nothing. Phew, false alarm. I closed the door.
Thump.
I swung the door back open. At first I thought Sweetheart had come back: the pony sprawled out on the ground had the same white coat and pink mane. But a second later my brain caught up with my eyes and I realised her mane was messy, not like Sweetheart's curls, and her Cutie Mark was a beautiful pattern of hearts.
She awkwardly got up. "Oh thank God, you're not two-legs."
"Two-legs?" asked Bonbon.
"Yeah, you know, the beige things? Well, technically they're called humans, but I call them two-legs. Human is a funny word."
We all stared at each other. "Err, I'm Bright Eyes," I mumbled. "And, err, this is Bonbon. She's, err, the one who's meant to be introducing us, she knows I suck at social situations."
Okay, I just screwed up. That's not how you introduce yourself. God dangit, why does my brain always stop working when I'm introducing myself?
She stared at me, then rolled her eyes. "Err.....okay. I'm Sundance."
She glanced behind her uneasily. "If you're stealing food, can you hurry it up a little? I think the two-legs are after me and I don't want them to catch me before I can bring you two back to Dream Valley."
"Back to where?"
"Dream Valley. It's my home. The two-legs found us first. The survivors- Ember especially- ordered us to bring back any ponies we can find in case they have information on the one."
"The one?" Are all the Dream Valley ponies this annoyingly vague?
"Yeah, just some thing some of the others believe. Of course, they won't tell anypony else about the details, for some reason. So, you coming?"
"When did we agree to this?" asked Bonbon.
"Trust me, Dream Valley is safer than any other place. We can keep the two-legs out. Follow me."
I hurriedly grabbed a few more things and shoved them into my bag before she began to trot off. "Wait!" I called. "Our friends- we were just taking food for them- we can't leave without them-"
"Alright, we'll bring them."
"We still didn't agree to this!" snapped Bonbon.
"You're coming, whether you agree or not."

2*10+3*3: Scooter Time

Author's Note

The second part is Pinkie Pie's POV

2*10+3*3: Scooter Time

"Hello, darlings, sorry we took so long-"
Splat.
Luna and Scootaloo burst into laughter as Cheerilee and Rainbow Dash wiped the mud out of their manes. Cheerilee rolled her eyes. "Good one, Scoots."
"Good one?" choked Rainbow. "Good one? I'm covered in mud!"
"What took you two so long?" asked Toola-Roola.
Rainbow groaned. "There were eight pocket universes! And multiple pizzerias with animatronics trying to kill us! Who built this place?!"
"And," added Cheerilee. "We found out about Sweetie Belle. Apparently they were trying to find out about rainbows."
"Is she alright?" asked Scootaloo.
"Yeah, she's fine...."
Luna couldn't help but roll her eyes as she saw the grown-ups sitting down and talk about something, probably boring grown-up stuff. She sat down next to Scootaloo. "Wanna prank them again? Or play hoofball?"
Scootaloo bit her lip. "How do we know that Sweetie Belle and the others are really okay? Maybe we should rescue them."
"How?"
"We just sneak out and go into rooms until we find them!"
"That's a terrible idea! I'm in!"
They gigled, tiptoeing over to the door. They were pushing it open when they both felt the glares of their older sisters. "And where are you two going?" demanded Cheerilee.
"Err....." mumbled Scootaloo. "Bathroom?"
But by the time she had said that, Luna was halfway through her excuse. "Interior decorating!"
They glared at each other. 'Interior decorating?' mouthed Scootaloo, rolling her eyes. "What she meant was that we were going to go to the bathroom and then search for interior decorating supplies."
"Since when do you know what interior means?" asked Cheerilee.
Celestia rolled her eyes. "You can go to the bathroom if I come, but no interior decorating."
"If I come," corrected Cheerilee.
"I'm not leaving Luna alone with you!"
"I'm not leaving Scootaloo alone with you!"
They both heard hoofsteps and turned to see the fillies backing away. They blushed. "Err...Would you believe I'm just moving closer to the door for no reason?"
The older mares rolled their eyes. "Maybe we should go together," decided Celestia.
"Sounds good," replied Cheerilee, and the four trotted out.
"Psst," whispered Luna. "What now?"
"Once we find a room big enough," breathed Scootaloo. "we gallop from 'em. Trust me."
Luna nodded, grinning. She galloped upstairs and pulled the door open, with the others close behind. To their dissapointment it was just some sort of garage. Not big enough to gallop. Unless......
Scooter.
It was purple, and clearly designed for an adult- just big enough for her and Luna, and probably Sweetie Belle if they needed to. Maybe, just maybe.....
Scootaloo grinned, grabbing the purple handlebars and Luna's hoof before pushing down with her right back hoof and taking off. She smiled as she stood on her hind leg and pulled Luna on behind her. She was doing it.
She slammed against the next door, forcefully pulling it open. Some sort of old, run-down office. Doors wide open. She grinned, pushing again with her hind legs and flying through both doors at once. She heard the sound of hooves behind her, but she ignored them as she scooted through the halls.
Celestia fell to her hooves, panting. "It's no use, we've lost them. We should go tell the others-"
"No way!" panted Cheerilee, galloping past her. "She's my sister-"
She reached the next turn. Scootaloo was nowhere to be seen. "Ugh!"
She groaned, trotting back. "Maybe you're right, the others will be able to chase them out. Come on."
She galloped back up the stairs and then back down them, opening the door hopefully. Sure enough, it was the attic. Everypony turned to them.
"Scootaloo and Luna," panted Celestia. "They ran. We lost them in one of the rooms."
"Why?" demanded Kimono.
"Not a clue. Come on, if we all get into that room we'll be able to corner them."
She galloped off and the others followed. Minty grinned, raising a hoof to her mane and taking out the elastics she had hastily put in before she went to ask Pinkie to try on socks with her, throwing them to the floor and doing the same to her tail. Maybe the light was too dim, or maybe they were all distracted, but nopony noticed the dark green blotch on her flank moving to cover her whole coat.

"They're somewhere in here...." muttered Cheerilee, thwinging the door open. Thome thort of run-down offithe. How can ponieth uthe thith thtuff? Mutht be out of uthe.
"R-Really?" thtammered Toola-Roola. "It's pretty dark in there....."
"Well, you can suck it up!" anthwered Cheerilee. "We need to find Scootaloo! ....And Luna."
She galloped inthide. "We should split up," thuggethted Cccelessstia. "That way we'll cover more ground."
"Alright!" agreed Minty. She theemed tho much more confident than normal. "Dibs on Pinkie!" And before I had time to thay thome overly long word we were inthide.
"So," mumbled Minty. "why don't you tell me about all your lovely adventures with the others?"
"Well," I began. "There wath the time we thaved Twinkle Wish- but that wath all over the newth, wathn't it, tho you'll know about it. Err......Ooh! Onthe, Sssweetie Belle invited uth over-"
"You seven."
"Yeah, uth theven-"
"Without me."
Oh. Thaat'th what thith ith about. "Minty! How wath I meant to know you wanted to be part of our group?"
"Yeah, not like I was dropping hints left right and centre or anything. Not like I tried to date Rainbow Dash so you would have an excuse to talk to me or anything like that."
"Minty! Rainbow made you promithe you would never mention that again!"
"I don't care! Pinkie Balloon Pie! You abandoned me!"
Crap. Nopony utheth middle nameth unleth they're really angry. "I'm thorry-"
"I don't care about sorry! Sorry is a meaningless word! Nopony ever says they're sorry and means it!"
"Minty-"
"I said sorry for almost ruining Christmas. Of course, that wasn't good enough, so I tried being nice to make up for it. And then I ended up being really nice to absolutely everypony. And nopony wants two friends with the same personality, so you threw me away for the stupid Unicorn because she can do magic, and don't you try to deny it!"
"Minty!" I shouted. "How could you thay that?"
That wath when I notithed where we were. At the end of a hallway, a dead end. Who made thith plathe? Why include a dead end hallway.
"Minty," I thnapped. "I know you're upthet, but how could you accuthe me of-"
Thmack.
"Ow...." I complained, raithing my front hoof to touch my cheek. I backed againtht the wall. "Minty-"
"Oh, Minty's gone. I'm Poison Mint, and I'm going to stand up for Minty. I'm going to find every pony that ever wronged her and kick them to death. Starting with you."

"Darling, could you perhaps let go of my leg?"
"W-What?" stammered Toola-Roola. "Err, s-sure...."
She stumbled to her hooves, shaking. Rainbow Dash looked back at her. "Darling, are you sure you're alright?"
"Y-Yeah, I-I'm f-f-fine...."
She stumbled forward, then jumped. "What was that noise?" she yelped.
"What do you mean, darling?"
"Somepony said something!"
"Well, I didn't hear anything-"
. "Help!"
Toola-Roola bit her lip, and galloped.

Unlucky number+17: Car Puns Drive Me Crazy

"Can't we just graze?"
Sweetheart shook her head. "Clover's still recovering, she needs proper food.....and I want grapes."
Patch rolled her eyes. "Fine, but I'm not going. You two can go without me."
Sweetheart nodded, trotting off. Teddy followed. "So..." he muttered, gesturing to her stomach. "Can we call it Lukewarm?"
She stared. "Why?"
"Because then I can say-"
She sighed. "Teddy, we are really truly not choosing a foal name entirely based on you getting to say something that really truly didn't even happen in the movie!"
He rose onto his hind legs. "Luke, I am your father-"
"No, Teddy, just.....no."
"Okay.....How about Springtrap? Or Psychic Friend Fredbear?"
"What? No!"
"Rapidash Pikachu?"
"No!"
"What about-"
"No!"
Soon they found themselves pushing the door open. Sweetheart trotted inside, grabbing a nearby bag only for Teddy to snatch it from her. "I seem to remember that the stallions do the lifting, m'lady."
She rolled her eyes. "If you insist."
Half an hour and many, many grape arguments later, they were trotting back to the others and dumping the bag on the ground. "So," asked Patch excitedly. "Can we go and find the flying ponies?"
"Not yet," decided Sweetheart, grabbing a handful of grapes. "We can't just go now, without a plan. Maybe if we can find out where they live...."
"Remember the ones we saw flying above us? They were going that way!" She pointed. She was already shaking a little, sugar high from excitement. "C'mon!"
She looked half ready to gallop off. Sweetheart sighed. "Clover, do you think you'll be able to walk yet?"
"Err.....I'm not sure...." the purple mare mumbled. She stood up, shaking as she pressed her injured leg to the ground. A tiny whimper escaped her and she quickly shifted her weight onto her front legs. "It...it's like there's something moving in my flank...."
She shuddered. But she knew once Patch was in this mood, nothing was stopping her. Sure enough, soon she found herself on Patch's back, bouncing a little as the peach pony trotted excitedly.
"Next stop: Pegasi!"

"Great, you brought something other than chocolate- great, you brought chocolate- hey, why'd you bring her?"
Sundance blushed. "I'm Sundance."
"She said she has to take us somewhere," explained Bright Eyes. "Some Dream Valley place. It's probably just some crappy village with no shops to steal from, but she seems pretty keen on it."
"I'm right here!"
"Seriously?" choked Starlight. "You agreed to go to some place you've never heard of on the word of her? She could be psychotic, she could be manipulating us, she could be an idiot-"
"I'm literally right here!"
"Hey, I never said I was happy about it! It wasn't my choice!"
"I'm right here, guys!"
"You could have said no and trotted off!"
"I'M RIGHT HERE!"
They all turned to Sundance.
"I am taking you all to Dream Valley whether you like it or not! Sorry, but I'm just following orders!"
She trotted forward. The others shrugged and followed.
"So," asked Bright Eyes. "How long do you expect this trip to last?"
"Err, I dunno..... a while......maybe a few weeks?"
They stopped dead, glancing at each other. This was another reason to deny it. They outnumbered Sundance four to one, they could fight her off if they had to. Yet each one of them felt like this was the right thing to do. What if Dream Valley was amazing?
Silence.
Well, almost.
The scratching of Bonbon's pen as she leaned on the ground to write for Melody, and Starlight's mutters of explanation, but apart from that, silence. Melody's eyes darted up from the paper, and she grinned. "I have a terrible idea."
She waited for all the eyes to turn to her. "Clover's dad always leaves his car door open."
They all stared at her.
"No!" snapped Starlight. "That's- I'm okay with underage driving in situations like this, but we're not stealing! Not from Clover! Not after we had that fight! We can find another car, there must be keys to at least one car in the remains of the houses-"
"What's a car?" asked Sundance. They ignored her.
"Well," said Bright Eyes. "If you remember, most of us wouldn't know where our car keys are now, because our parents drove us to your house and probably put them God knows where. And we know for a fact your car survived."
"There is no way we are going back to my house!" Starlight declared.
Before long they were back at Starlight's house.
"Yes!" yelled Bonbon, galloping for the car. "I call shotgun!"
"So this is a car?" muttered Sundance.
Starlight tapped Bright Eyes' shoulder, holding out her hoof expectantly. "Bag."
The blue pony stared for a second, then lifted the brown bag off of her shoulder and handed it over. Starlight lifted it around her neck and trotted inside, ignoring the open door to her bedroom as she took her keys off the kitchen bench, then glanced back. Some of her stuff might still be in one piece.....
She bit her lip, glanced out the window, and galloped.
Her room. The same bed, her phone and a few others (probably her friend's) lazily thrown onto it. Bags in the corner. Her chest of drawers, her clothes falling onto the floor. She grabbed a few jumpers and shoved them into her bag before grabbing the phones, randomly turning them on. Of course, they were all flat.
That was when she saw it.
Her typewriter, the one she had saved up for for the last year, broken in half. She had only gotten it for the history behind it, and to avoid having to write everything up for school, but all that time she spent saving up, all those hours of working to afford it.....worthless.
She remembered all her adventures. Helping the others to get out of the ditch, trying to find the polluter, assuring Bonbon she didn't think her costume was silly.......if they all died, would it all be for nothing? Now that were being faced with mortal danger, was all her efforts to get Ace to like her meaningless?
"Starlight?"
She turned. It was Bright Eyes. "Yeah- I was just thinking...."
"What about?"
"Well....Bright Eyes, if the- the two-legs.....if they all kill us tomorrow, will that make everything we did meaningless in the end?"
"Well....err....Starlight, maybe you're right. Maybe in the grander scheme of things, we don't matter. Maybe the universe couldn't care less what we think. But you know what? Nopony asked the universe's opinion."
"What does that mean?"
"No idea, but it sounded good, right?"
Starlight giggled, trotting outside. Sundance was staring at the car. "What's the point of this? Does it teleport you if you get inside?"
Bright Eyes rolled her eyes, taking the keys and opening the door to the driver's seat. "So, who's driving?"
"Driving?" asked Sundance eagerly. "What does that mean?"
"Well, not her!" giggled Bonbon, lifting her pen for a second before continuing to write. "And I get motion sickness, so I'm out."
"Audio cues could save our lives," muttered Melody. "So it's you and Starlight."
"Dad would kill me if I let someone else drive!" decided Starlight. "Granted, he would also kill me if I drove the car, but this isn't normal circumstances. I'll drive."
She sat down and slammed the door closed, leaning over to open the opposite door and gesturing to Sundance, who awkwardly sat down in the seat.
"You're supposed to close the door."
Sundance blushed, pulling the door closed.
"And....see that black thing? You're meant to pull it over yourself- see, in this little red thing, you- oh, let me do it-"
"Have you really never seen a car before?" asked Bright Eyes as she put her seatbelt on.
"Err, no. Why, should I have? What does it do?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Where exactly is Dream Valley?"
"It's just another part of Ponyland. Why, are they common- HOLY CRAP WE'RE MOVING!"
Everypony jumped. "Sorry," apologised Sundance. "but I've never seen anything like this before! This is so amazing! What magic spell did you use to make it? I've got to teach Twilight, she'll be-"
"Sundance, which way do we go?"
"Oh, sorry. Left."

30+1: I Speak Pink

Author's Note

The second part is Toola-Roola's POV

30+1: I Speak Pink

Scootaloo grinned. "Alright, I think we lost 'em. C'mon!"
Luna nodded, trotting outside. Back to the staircase. The two galloped upstairs and flung the door open. Inside was a fairly empty room just like their attic- but lying on the floor, presumably asleep.....
Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, Sweetie Belle and StarSong SkyHigh.
Scootaloo galloped over to Sweetie Belle, gently shaking her. "Wake up, Sweetie!"
"Eh?" asked the filly, fluttering her eyes open.
"Wake up, we're escaping!"
"What?" asked StarSong, sitting up. Twilight and Sunset stared around. Luna grinned. "Follow me."

"Minty....Pleathe, I want you to think about thith......."
Smack.
Minty grinned. "Finally, I get to emerge from the shadows! Ahh Pinkie Pie, your time is up. Finally. I get to be the important one now! I'm going to change all the history books to say I saved Twinkle Wish!"
"That'th more of a minor annoyanthe, actually.....Bethideth, you've got all of five minuteth to kill me with your bare hooveth."
"Eh? Actually, don't tell me. I don't have time for useless explanations."
She raised her hoof above her head and brought it down against Pinkie's head. Pinkie screamed aloud. It was impossible to tell if she was saying something gibberish or just screaming. Minty laughed. "See? You've already lost-"
"Tha mi a 'toirt rabhadh dhut. Feumaidh tu gus an deach i a 'tighinn gu gèilleadh agus duilich. Coisich, a Minty. Tha fios agam a tha thu ann an sin. Dè thachair do you-"
"Gosh, you completely butchered that. Seriously, what sort of weird translater did you use?"
They turned. A familiar pale pink pony with straight multicoloured hair. She blew her mane out of her eye. "Stay away from my friend."
"Toola-Roola?" demanded Minty. "How did you get here?"
Pinkie Pie grinned. "I thpeak pink."

"Cheerilee, darling? Celestia?"
"Rainbow Dash? Kimono?"
They stared at each other for a few seconds, then embraced each other in a four-way hug.
"Sparkleworks is checking to see if they managed to sneak off," explained Kimono. "Any luck?"
"No," muttered Cheerilee sadly. "And I keep hearing these weird voices in my head..."
"Same here," agreed Kimono. "I assumed it was just this weird place. I mean, how many pocket universes did you two see there were?"
"Eight," muttered Rainbow bitterly. "And multiple animatronic-death-pizzerias."
That was when they heard hoofsteps.
"Sparkleworks?" asked Kimono. The orange pony trotted into view. Twilight, Sunset, Scootaloo, Luna and Sweetie Belle followed close behind.
"Apparently these two had some sort of escape plan."
Scootaloo and Luna uneasily looked at each other. Each raised their hooves and pointed towards the other. "Her idea!"
Celestia and Cheerilee glared at each other. "Your sister's been encouraging my sister to be an idiot!"
"Your sister's been encouraging my sister to be an idiot!"
"Your sister's been encouraging my sister to be an idiot!"
"Your sister's been encouraging my sister to be an idiot!"
"Your sister's been encouraging my sister to be an idiot!"
"Your sister's been encouraging my sister to be an idiot-"
"Um, darlings, don't you think we should perhaps get going, darlings, maybe?"
They rolled their eyes. "I guess you're right.....but Scootaloo, don't you ever do that again!"
Scootaloo nodded, with a grin on her face that clearly said she was going to do it again, soon.
"The others," muttered Kimono. "Pinkie Pie and Minty. Have any of you seen them?"
They all shook their heads, looking uneasily at each other.
"Am I the only one who keeps hearing voices?" asked Cheerilee.
"Me too," mumbled Kimono. "Maybe we should go down to one of the other corridors, one of the dead end ones, it says they'll be there...."
"Right," answered Sparkleworks. "Let's go somewhere because a voice in your head said to. That's not crazy at all."
Cheerilee and Kimono ignored her and trotted off. Scootaloo galloped to her sister's side and followed. Luna grabbed Sweetie Belle's hoof and roughly pulled her forward, trotting after them. Celestia rolled her eyes and flew forward.
"Princess Celestia!" yelped Twilight instinctively, galloping. Sunset sighed and went after her. Rainbow Dash bit her lip. "I suppose I'd better go too, darlings."
Eventually all of them were blindly following somepony else down the corridors until Kimono and Cheerilee came to a halt. They stared. Minty, looking somehow darker than normal, glaring daggers at them all, especially Pinkie Pie and Toola-Roola.

"Get lost. Get the hell away from me."
I watched Minty rear up onto her hind legs and come crashing down, growling. She maliciously stepped towards me, raising her front hoof. I dodged out of the way just before she could strike me, blowing my mane out of my eyes. Then she galloped for me again, and this time I wasn't quick enough. I felt her hoof hit me and I fell to the ground.
I know it was reckless, and stupid, and at that range I was probably going to be worse off. I know it was dumb, that I wasn't thinking straight, that if I had waited a few seconds the others would have just pulled her away from me. Hell, if I tried I could probably dodge away on my own. Maybe the blow to the head had me not thinking straight.
Or, more likely, I was just an idiot.
Anyway, the details don't matter. All you need to know is that in a fit of idiocy, I decided to yell out the words I knew would have Celestia, Twilight, Sunset and Sweetie Belle doing whatever they could.
"Guys! Some sort of magic- help!"
I don't really know what happened afterwards. I think I was out cold for a minute or two, we all ran like mad, somehow I ended up back at the staircase, here I am now.
That was when it started getting bonkers.
I saw a flash of light and then I was standing in the grass. I stared down at myself. White coat, with prominent pink hooves Well, that's not too drastic a difference. My mane fell into my eyes. I blew it up, seeing that at least part of it was orange. I instinctively turned around to see my Cutie Mark, which was mostly outlines of hearts, and my tail- orange, pink and purple. A glance at my mane told me it was the same. Gosh, I look like Sunny Daze.
Is it just me, or am I taller? And skinnier. Basically what every stallion ever wants.
"Toola-Roola, darling! Wake up!"
I opened my eyes. A bunch of ponies kneeling over me looking worried, Pinkie and the others. I stood up. Back to myself. I was outside. Had they dragged me out? I guess they must have. I scanned the crowd. "Minty?"
"She's...." Kimono explained. "I think she's not herself at the moment. Possibly some form of magical corruption that took advantage of her hidden insecurities that managed to reach her after the.....greyed-out incident-"
"I meant where is she now."
"Oh. She's been out cold for a few minutes since that spell. Pinkie says her normal shade of green is coming back."
Pinkie Pie trotted into view, an unconscious Minty on her back. "Apple and Puddinghead are on their way, we'd better go."

32: Cartastophe

"Err...Sweetheart, could we talk in private?"
She looked up and a part of me said to say it didn't matter, that it was just silly. But it does matter, it's not silly. This had gone on long enough.
"Why?" she asked.
"I'll explain when we're alone."
I trotted off, glancing back to see her shrug and follow me.
"Alright," I muttered. Where to be begin? "Look, I know this sounds crazy, but.....I'm sure there's something off about Patch."
"What do you mean?"
I shrugged. "It's hard to explain, but...well....don't you feel like there's something weird about her? And...well....she carried Clover and me for so long before she got tired......"
"Teddy, what are you trying to say?"
"Well.....Look, I don't know what this is, but I'm sure something's up with her and I've been sure ever since the tiger fight, and I want to make sure that you're safe."
She sighed. "I think you're being irrational."
Ugh, I knew she would say that. "Can't you tell? There's just something.....weird....about her-"
"Teddy, is this all based on a weird feeling? Do you feel the need to check your bedroom for three hours every time you feel like you forgot something?"
"No, but-"
"Has it occured to you that maybe this is just because a girl is better than you at soccer?"
"What? No!"
"Maybe you should go for a walk. I'm really truly sure it's nothing."
I rolled my eyes. "Well, I guess I should get more food. I'll go now."
I trotted off before she could argue. God dangit, now I'm stuck getting food, and that'll take forever, and I'll be gone all day so I won't get to talk to Sweetheart again because it takes so damn long- hey, look, I'm nearly there!
Okay, maybe it's not quite that long.
I trotted inside, then stopped at the door, glancing back outside. Something's weird about this place. Maybe Patch followed me? No, that's impossible. I looked at the full shelves and something pink caught my eye. I turned to where I thought it was and it was gone. Must have been a trick of the eye- hey, what's that noise?
Is somepony talking?
"I wish, I wish, I wish..."
I stared around. Nothing.
"Ember, stay still and don't make a noise!" whispered the voice. What a hypocrite! "I wish, I wish, I wish...."
A flash of pink light and I was galloping.

"Starlight, don't you think you ought to look at the road?"
The blue mare's words jerked Starlight back to reality and she pulled her head away from the shop she had just driven past.
"Do you think we should stop to steal from the shop?"
Sundance shook her head. "Once you get near Dream Valley, there's loads of food around, especially since Megan taught us to farm."
Starlight nodded, speeding up again and grinning. "How much further?"
"I don't know, I don't know how this 'kar' thing works."
"Right. Still, I've been going pretty fast, so it should only be- holy crap!"
She let go of the steering wheel in shock and stared out the window to see that the shop she had just driven past had become engulfed in pink light. She stared in shock as the shop got further and further away, and she was just about to turn around to investigate when she heard Bright Eyes's voice.
"Starligh-"
Crash.
Starlight was roughly brought back to reality as she felt herself being pulled forward. Everything went black for a few seconds, and then the car stopped.
She stared around, looking out the front window. The front of the car was smashed and crumpled in front of a tree. That was when she realized. Bright Eyes had told her to pay attention to the road, and she had been distracted, and now she had managed to crash it.
She turned to Sundance. The white mare was shaking, staring wide-eyed around her. She felt around with her front hooves and took her seatbelt off, moving around to look at the back seats. Bonbon was slumped against the window, apparently out cold. "A-Are you guys okay?"
Bright Eyes was sitting awkwardly against the window, one of her front legs resting on the other. "I-I-I think I broke my arm, I think I heard something crack...."
"Crap..." whispered Starlight. "I...I'm sorry, guys, this is all my fault!"
"Don't worry," assured Sundance. "Firefly and Medley are patrolling around Ponyland in case anypony needs help, since Firefly convinced herself she's a rescue team, I'll be able to call them down once they're close enough..."
"Right..." answered Starlight, pushing the door open and leaning over to help Sundance with the seatbelt before getting out and flinging the back doors open. Melody pushed Bonbon out before getting out herself and dragging the yellow mare along, while Bright Eyes awkwardly slid out onto the grass and sat down.
Starlight glanced back at the shop. No glowing pink anymore. Still, what had caused it. Her curiosity got the better of her. "How long until Firefly and Medley get here?"
Sundance shrugged. "I'm not sure..."
"Back in a second!"
And with that, she was off.

"Pink light- other ponies- something happened-"
"Slow down, Teddy!" yelled Sweetheart, grabbing her boyfriend's hoof.
"At the shop- there were other ponies but I didn't see them- there was this weird pink light...."
"Eh?" asked Patch, looking up. "Sounds cool, let's go!"
"Seriously?" choked Clover. "We can't just go without any sort of plan and hope for the best!"
"Why not?"
"Well," began Sweetheart. "We don't know who the other ponies are, or whether or not they're dangerous, or- you're about to gallop off, aren't you?"
Patch grinned, then galloped off. Sweetheart trotted after her while Teddy, rolling his eyes, grabbed Clover and followed them. "Patch!" yelled Sweetheart. "Don't you think we really truly need to think of a plan?"
"I've got a plan! First, the talking notepad pops up and starts singing about being creative. Then he pours black paint all over the clown painting. Collecting sticks, green is not a creative colour, blah blah blah, and before you know it the letters spell out DEATH and Red Guy's got a pony heart covered in glitter. Then they agree to never be creative again!"
"What?" choked Clover.
"What's your favourite idea?" sung Patch. "Mine is being creative!"
"Where'd you get the idea?"
Sweetheart sighed. "Teddy, don't encourage her!"
"You just have to think creatively!"
"Okay," decided Pinkie Pie, momentarily destroying all laws of time and space to annoy me. "That'th about ath much of the Don't Hug Me I'm Ssscared thong you can show before Fimfiction's copyright getth you reported!"
God dangit, she's right.
"I'm ninety per cent sure that doesn't count as a plan!" snapped Clover.
"Details, details!"
Before they knew it they were trotting inside. "Right," muttered Patch. "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

Okay, maybe it was a little reckless. But now that Patch is gone, someone has to be stupidly impulsive!
When I got the store, it looked normal. So, I galloped in, grabbed a few things, and then I saw them.
Sweetheart. Patch. Clover. Teddy.
I galloped over to the window and clambered outisde, keenly watching through the glass. Clover slid down from Teddy's back and Patch started galloping around. I saw Sweetheart's head begin to turn my way and I ducked to the ground.
I know, I should have just let her see me. I could have- I should have- brought them back to the others, apologized for accusing them, and never distrusted them again, regardless of whether or not it turned out they were lying. But I didn't. I couldn't.
I had expected when I found them again, I would have to rescue them. That they would beg to come back, that we would have the power to say they couldn't until they owned up. I know it's mean and horrible to want that but....I wanted to know that we were right. That we were part of a team where everyone was important, that with half of us gone they would crumble. I...I guess I needed to be assured that I was, in fact, important.
But here they were. They were perfectly fine and, by the look on Patch's face, they were happy, they had a plan. Knowing Patch, the plan might have consisted of talking notepads and 'green is not a creative colour', but they're working towards something. They have a goal.
Us? We didn't want to go to Dream Valley, we didn't have a choice. And we had just gotten into a car crash because I was so stupid. If I talked to them now, we would be the ones begging for forgiveness, and they would be able to say no. Of course, they'd be too nice to abandon us when we needed it, but....they could have said no. And I don't think I would be able to take that.

I grinned, blowing my mane out of my eyes. I had my paint, which I totally didn't steal from a school, why would you think that? I had my paintbrush, which I again totally didn't steal from a school. I grabbed the brush and dipped it into the pink paint, starting to paint on the tree.
After a few minutes I found myself adding the last part: three spirals coming out of the main image, looking vaguely Celtic. I grinned, blowing my mane out of my eyes.
Okay, so maybe I'm not normally a graffiti artist, but a certain filly was talking about it. This is probably a dream, anyway, so who cares?
I blew my mane out of my eyes.

Author's Note

The first part is Teddy’s POV and the fourth is Starlight’s

III: Scientifically Speaking, Not a Nerd

Author's Note

The last part is Tia's POV

III: Scientifically Speaking, Not a Nerd

"I hate you!"

"No you don't!"

"You idiot," snapped Celestia. "You nearly got us both killed!"

"Yeah," argued Luna. "But I totally pranked Sunny Daze!"

"You gave her a free cupcake!"

"Yeah, but the cupcakes had an insult written on the side of them in braile!"

"Does anypony actually check their cupcakes for braille? Don't they just eat their cupcakes? Is there any reason to believe she even reads braille?"

"You can't prove she doesn't! Besides, she'll be so mad when she finds out!"

"Which she won't, because not even I'm nerdy enought to check the side of my cupcake for braille. She's probably already eaten it. And you went and got the attention of the draconequus!"

Luna stopped dead. "Draco Malfoy?"

"What?" her older sister snapped. "No, draconequus! You know, the big dragon thingy!"

"Oh, the monster. Why didn't you just say that?"

"Because- oh, forget it! Let's just try and get back to Ponyville." She paused, and looked around. "Where's Ponyville?"

Luna looked around. "How would I know?"

Celestia groaned. "Please tell me we're not lost!"

"Okay, I won't. We just don't know where we are."

The older mare sighed. "Hopefully if we stay here somepony will find us and lead us home....."

A terrible thought struck her. "What if we can't go back to Ponyville? What if we go there and it's gone and we have to go and live in Unicornia and everypony hates us because we're Earthponies and-"

Luna giggled. "Don't worry! It's not like he's the reality-warping embodiment of chaos or something!" She stared at her sister's face for a moment and sighed. "I shouldn't be allowed to say things, should I?"

"Just shut up and-"

She stopped dead.

"Shut up and what?" asked Luna.

"Shut up and shut up, you idiot, I can hear something."

Luna looked around. She couldn't hear anything but Celestia had proven to have rather better hearing then her so she took her word for it. She stared around hopefully, then nervously. What if it was the draco-whatever thingymabob?

"Okay," whispered Celestia. "I'm pretty sure it's not the draconequus...."

Luna, squinting, noticed an orange pony in the distance. "Hey, look! It's Sparkleworks!"

Celestia groaned. "Is she one of your 'super-cool epic amazing friends'?"

Luna missed the sarcasm. "Yeah, she's super duper cool, epic and amazing! Pretty neat, huh?"

"Yeah, if you insist. Is she the one you're convinced is your 'bestest best friendliest BFF forever ever' even though you've met her literally once?"

"Yep!"

Sparkleworks saw her friend and ran up to the two. "Luna! I haven't seen you in forever!" She turned to Celestia. "And I haven't seen you in....ever! What's your name?"

"She's my-" began Luna.

"I'm her sister," finished the older mare, somewhat forcefully. She knew from experience that Luna wouldn't hesitate to introduce her as her pet nerd. "My name's Celestia."

A second pony, this one a pinkish-purple, trotted into view. "Sparkleworks, I told you not to go so fast- hi, Tia!"

It was Kimono. "Hi, Kimono! And don't call me Tia. What are you doing here?"

"We saw the-" began Sparkleworks. "the, the thing-"

"The draconequus-" interupted Kimono.

"Yeah, that thing, and it scared us so much we galloped all the way out here, and now we're totally lost!" She emphasised the last part by taking a hoofful of glitter out of the pinke saddlebag she was wearing and throwing it into the air. Celestia stared. "Did you just happen to have that with you?"

"I always-" she threw another hoofful of glitter over them- "keep my saddlebag-" more glitter- "with me in case I need-" more glitter- "more glitter!"

"I see," muttered Celestia simply. "Or I would, if you hadn't gotten glitter all over my face."

"Oh come on, lighten up!" insisted Luna.

Lighten up? Lighten up? Lighten up? There was no way she was lightening up.

Luna, I love you. I really do. You're the most amazing thing that has every happened to me. But you are such an idiot.

Boy, am I glad she can't read my mind.

She expects me to socialise more and make friends, but the best one she's made since we came to Ponyland is the one that shoves glitter in everypony's face. Honestly, that's just stupid. Who in the world would be silly enough to carry around glitter like that? Seriously.....A friend of Luna's a friend of mine, but es una idiota!

Oops. Still not used to this English thing. I mean, she's an idiot. Sparkleworks, not Luna. Actually, scratch that, they're both idiots.

I'm still surprised this Sparkleworks didn't know I existed before now. I mean, I know they've only met once, but normally I'm the first thing that pops up in conversation! What, did they do a non-romantic version of Cinderella? Did they start playing hide and seek for no reason before they knew each other and then Luna lost her hat and Sparkleworks had it or something?

Wait, no, that happened with Sunny Daze. She really is an idiot.

Still, at least she didn't introduce me as the nerd. Because I'm not a nerd. Scientifically speaking, 'nerd' is an insult that some ponies have chosen to embrace, and therefore whether or not I am one is based entirely in opinion and mostly relies on whether or not I choose to identify as one.

Scientifically speaking, I'm not a nerd.

The amount of fingers you would have if you had 18 fingers: Strife

Rainbow Dash, Element of Gratitude.

Thanks for Nothing.

I wasn't quite sure I felt quite right that morning.

At first I had put it down to being hungry. We had been so grateful for finding the apples that it hadn't occured to us that we couldn't garentee we would find any more and that we were meant to be saving food, so by the end of the day we had almost eaten the entire tree. I had ended up giving Toola-Roola most of mine, since she went to the effort of making that dress for me. It's only fair.

That was when I heard the voices.

"Why should you thank them?"

I had been about to say something when it spoke again.

"Don't tell them. They'll think you're insane and leave you."

Insane? Pinkie Pie's obviously mad and nopony's suggested leaving her. Why would I be different? I opened my mouth again, and heard it.

"Why should you thank them?"

What the hell- forgive my language- is it talking about?

"The name's Strife. Seriously, though- why should you thank the others?"

Why should I thank them? After everything they've done to me? Don't be silly!

He kept saying things like that for the rest of the day. I just ignored him. After a while I stopped questioning my sanity and started listening again.

"Why should you thank them? Look at them. They've treated you like dirt all morning!"

I couldn't help but agree. Most of the others have been muttering to themselves. I tried talking to Minty and she just snapped at me to get lost. I swear I heard her muttering "....not sorry......" under her breath.

Wait- What am I thinking? No. Strife is trying to brainwash me. I mustn't give in, I mustn't!

"Did Kimono thank you for making part of the bracelet for her, or one of the big charms you decorated the castle with?"

What? She thanked me! She thanked me a million times over-

"Thanking someone isn't as simple as saying the words. Yes, she said she was grateful, but did she ever pay you back?"

What? That's not how it works! She doesn't owe me anything, it was her birthday and I did it out of the goodness of my heart!

"You went to all that effort to make the big charm and the little charm, and what did you gain from it? What's the point of helping others if you don't get anything in return?"

.....I hate to say it, but he's right. What was the point of going to the effort of making the charms? It took time and effort, and I gained nothing. Why did I do it?

"Did anypony give you anything in return for hosting Christmas?"

No. No they didn't.

"You helped get Rarity back to Unicornia and she repayed you by enslaving you! What did you get for helping to save the Winter Wishes Festival?"

He's right.

Thanks for nothing.

I trotted right up to Kimono, raising a hoof and hitting her between the eyes, knocking her over.

"You're welcome!"

"Wh-what?" she stuttered, awkwardly finding her hooves.

"What did I gain from making the big rainbow charm for you, or the little one for your bracelet?"

"Wha-"

"What was the point? Why should be grateful if nopony ever thanks me?"

"But-"

I hit her again. "Turns out I did gain something: The sweet taste of REVENGE!"

"P-Please......"

I raised my hoof and hit here one more time, harder than ever. She slumped over, unconscious. I grinned. "That's what you get for not thanking me! Why should I be grateful if nopony else is?"

I saw StarSong muttering something to Sweetie Belle, the filly's face turning to one of extreme anger. She galloped towards me, her horn glowing brightly. The next thing I knew I could feel the skin on my leg below my knee tearing itself apart seemingly without reason, blood dripping down onto the grass.

After everything I've done for her, she attacked me! She just outright attacked me! Why should I be grateful if nopony else is!?

I growled at her, trotting over to where I had left the dress Toola-Roola made for me. Did she even try? The paint looks awful. It's not even rainbow, it's just yellow! And to think I gave up my food to thank her for this! I pinned it to the floor with my hooves and bit it with my teeth, pulling my head upwards until it tore. I gave them all one last glare.

"Thanks for nothing."

Sweetie Belle, Element of Kindness.

Time to be Cruel.

I woke up that morning feeling pretty awful, but I didn't bother telling anypony. It didn't seem like we would be working too hard and I didn't want to bother them. I was probably fine- or, at least I was fine until I heard the voice.

"What is the point of being kind?"

I had been about to tell the others, fearing for my sanity, when it spoke again.

"Don't tell them. They'll think you're crazy and send you away. The name's Strife. Now, tell me: Why are you kind?"

I shoved his voice out of my head for few hours in the hope that he would give up, but he didn't. After a while I started to listen.

"Why do you choose to be kind?"

Why? I.....I guess it's just the right thing to do.

"So? My brother isn't kind, and he pretty much rules the world now! What do you intend to gain from being kind?"

Well.....I don't really gain anything from it......

"Then why? You could be Queen of Unicornia if you weren't so kind!"

I suppose you're right.....No! This is crazy! What the hell do you want?

Crap, I just swore! Crap, I keep swearing! Since when do I freaking swear- oh God dammit I keep freakin' swearing!

"Nopony else is being kind at the moment. You saw Minty! When Rainbow Dash tried to talk to her, she yelled at her and said she wasn't sorry!"

She's probably just not in a good mood. Right is right, even if nopony is doing it, and wrong is wrong, even if everypony is doing it!

"Look! Rainbow Dash is hitting Kimono! And she's enjoying it! Being cruel is fun!"

What? No! I won't!

StarSong flew over to me, hovering a few inches to my right. "Psst," she whispered. "Remember how Rainbow Dash was muttering to herself?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I heard her. She said that you were a stupid narwhal, and you'll never really be her friend, and the reason Scootaloo likes you is because she's too young to see that all narwhals are snobs and not because you're the same age!"

WHAT?

What the hell is wrong with her?

I'm going to freaking kill her, the racist moron! I freaking charged the hell at her, growling. I used my magic to slice her leg. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it.

Being cruel is freaking fun.

"YOU'RE ALL FREAKING LOSERS AND YOU CAN ALL GO TO HELL! I'M GOING TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU WITH MY MAGIC, STUPID FREAKING MUDPONIES! GOD DAMN YOU ALL! I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE!"

I've been freaking kind for far too freaking long, dammit. I grinned.

"Time to be cruel."

StarSong SkyHigh, Element of Honesty.

Lies Can Be Fun.

I wasn't feeling all that well that morning. I didn't think anything of it, assumed it was just because I had spent so long in prison. I never want to go there again. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. All I know is that after a while I heard a voice.

"Why not just lie?"

I had been about to tell the others when he spoke again.

"If you tell them about me, they'll think you're mad and send you away."

Who is he?

"My name is Strife. Now, answer me!"

I didn't. I just ignored him, praying he would go away on his own. But for a few hours, I kept hearing him. After a while I got bored. What the hell? Mind my language. What harm could come of playing with him?

"Why do you tell the truth? Why not just lie?"

Well, why lie? I lie sometimes if it's better than telling the truth, but why should I lie all the time?

"Because it can be fun."

What do you mean?

"Other ponies' problems can be interesting."

What? That's crazy! Only baddies think that!

"Think of it like this: You know how you like books?"

Yeah?

"Well, the reason you like books is because bad things happen to the characters and you want to know if they'll be okay at the end."

But-

"It's like that, except you cause the problems. It'll all turn out okay in the end, so why not?"

Well, I guess- this is crazy! Are you tryna brainwash me or something?

"Try giving some 'characters' some much-needed karma. See, Rainbow Dash just hit Kimono! That wasn't very nice, was it? Why not even it out by telling Sweetie Belle that Rainbow Dash called her a narwhal?"

But that would be wrong!

"And hitting Kimono wasn't? Besides, Sweetie Belle wouldn't do anything that bad!"

I nodded, flying over to Sweetie Belle. "Psst," I whispered. "Remember how Rainbow Dash was muttering to herself?"

"Yeah?" she asked.

"I heard her. She said that you were a stupid narwhal, and you'll never really be her friend, and the reason Scootaloo likes you is because she's too young to see that all narwhals are snobs and not because you're the same age!"

She growled, charging at Rainbow Dash with her horn glowing. The next thing I knew I saw the blue mare's leg being cut open. Wow, this is actually entertaining! I wonder what Rainbow Dash will do next? It'll all turn out okay in the end, though, books always do! I giggled.

"Lies can be fun."

Scootaloo Joyride, Element of Laughter.

What's the Point?

I gotta admit, I didn't feel all that well that morning. Not sick enough for it to be worth it to tell Cheerilee, but not quite right. I had just continued trying to find games to play- until I heard the voice.

"What is the point of fun?"

I had started to go over to Cheerilee when I heard him.

"Don't even think about telling her. It won't end well. Now, tell me: What's the point of playing games?"

Duh, it's fun!

"And what is 'fun'?"

Err...........it makes me happy!

"And what is the point of happiness?"

Err.......I dunno.

"What's the point of living? Why not just sit down, forever?"

What? This is nuts! This isn't cool beans at all! Why would I sit down forever?

"Why would you do anything, ever? There's no point for the Earth to exist. Since you have to live, just sit there."

He's right.

I might just sit here. Nothing else to do. Nothing has any meaning. Why do anything else?

"What's the point?"

Cheerilee Joyride, Element of Loyalty.

Trust Is Too Fragile.

I didn't feel great that morning. I didn't say anything because Scootaloo didn't seem any better, and I didn't want to worry her. I thought I would be fine- until I heard the voice.

Why do you hang out with the others?

I looked up. I was about to tell somepony when I heard it again.

If you tell them, they'll think you're mad. Then they'll send you away, because you're the only pony here who knows what loyalty is.

I glared at myself. Who in Ponyland is this guy?

You can call me Strife. So, tell me........Why are you still playing with them? Don't you know you can't be the second one to stab them all in the back?

What is he talking about? I forced myself not to listen to him. I hoped Scootaloo could distract me with a game, but she just stared blankly at me and said, "What's the point?"

I gave up on talking to other ponies after that. In time I grew bored and started to listen to the voice.

"Why do you hang out with the others?"

Duh. They're nice to me.

"At the moment, they are. Who know how long that'll last?"

Don't be silly! They would never betray me!

"You've read The Hunger Games. If you're in a team, then your survival depends entirely on whether the others decide they want to keep you around. You can't afford to be the second person on your team to stab them in the back. You should attack them and leave before they get the chance to do you in."

What? That's nuts! Why would they betray me?

"Why wouldn't they? No offense, but......You're not terribly strong, or brainy, or agile, and you don't know how to find food. Why shouldn't they leave you? I'm just looking out for your best interests."

Err.....thanks. If it looks like somepony's going to stab us all in the back, which I doubt, then I'll take Scootaloo and gallop.

"Take Scootaloo? No way, she's just as likely to betray you as anypony else, and even if she doesn't she'll slow you down!"

So? This is all hypothetical. It's not like they're going to betray me.

"Oh, you silly little pony! Look around you!"

I stared around me. Nothing happening. I was about to think-say something to Strife when Rainbow Dash stood up. I watched her stomp over to Kimono, shouting something and hitting her. She yelled something again- I should have known what she was saying but I wasn't paying attention- and hit her again. Some more screaming, and she hit her one more time. Kimono just fell, unconscious.

"See? And now Sweetie Belle looks pretty angry. Get out."

...

I'm sorry, Scootaloo. And Pinkie Pie. And Toola-Roola, Sweetie Belle, Minty, StarSong, Rainbow Dash. And Celestia, Luna, Kimono, Twilight, Sunset.

I've no right to leave. But what else can I do? Rainbow Dash has already almost turned on us. Sweetie Belle looks furious and Scootaloo is an empty shell. I have to be first. I can't be the second pony to stab everypony else in the back, because then I'll already have been stabbed.

I wish I didn't have to do this. But I can't let you break my trust. If my trust in all of you was greatly misplaced, then I'm dead meat. I can't risk it. I'm sorry. Life's not fair. This is horrible. I turned back for a second before I ran, staring tearfully at my friends.

"Trust is too fragile."

Toola-Roola 'Bhruis-Pheantaidh Gaileiridh-Ceàird, Element of Generosity.

Let's See You Do Better.

That wasn't the best of mornings. Something just hadn't felt right. At first I assumed it was just guilt over Rainbow Dash giving me her apples- until I heard the voice.

"Why do you do things for them?"

I had been about to tell the others when I heard it again.

"Don't tell them. They won't believe you."

I glared at nothing in particular. Who is this guy?

"You can call me Strife. So, tell me, why do you continue to make things for your friends?"

I ignored him, but he kept saying it. I forced myself not to listen. For a while, anyway. After a few hours of the others muttering to themselves and ignoring me I got bored and decided to listen, just to see what he was about.

"Why do you go to the effort of making things for your friends?"

Well, why not? It's a nice thing to do.

"They don't care either way. They say they love your paintings, but I bet they probably throw them away when you're not looking."

Why would they do that?

"They think you're worthless. You should leave them, find someone who appreciates your talents."

Yeah, right. I rolled my eyes, sarcastically thinking I would keep it in mind. I got back to staring into nothing (trust me, it's more fun than it sounds). It was a while before something happened that made me look up.

Rainbow Dash stood up, storming over to Kimono. There was shouting, I know that, but I could barely hear her over Strife.

"They don't need you. You're nothing to them. They wouldn't care if you never did a thing for them again."

I heard hoofsteps and turned to see Cheerilee galloping away. I instinctively turned to Scootaloo only to see her staring blankly into nothing. The next thing I knew I could something tearing. I turned to see Rainbow Dash standing on one part of her dress and using her teeth to tear it apart.

Her dress.

The dress I made.

I stayed up ALL NIGHT to make that thing, and look at all the damns she gives?

I give up.

"You're all idiots," I yelled. "and I hope you all die in a pit! Go screw yourselves!"

Hmph. I'm not good enough? I glared at them.

"Let's see you do better."

Minty Bubblegum, Element of Apology.

Not Sorry.

I hadn't felt right that morning. I couldn't quite put my hoof on it, but something was unusual. I had assumed it was nothing important and continued with my day- until I heard the voice.

"Why are you sorry?"

I had been about to tell the others when I heard it again.

"Don't even think about telling the others."

Eh? Who is this dude?

"You can call me Strife. Now, tell me.......why do you ever apologise?"

I shrugged to myself. It never really occured to me. I guess......I guess it's because I'm pretty unlucky, and clumsy, and I've learned apologising is easier than pointing out that it's not my fault, even when it isn't.

"Nopony else ever apologises, why should you? Is it your fault that you're unlucky?"

Well, no, but it's not like I can blame everything on luck. Remember that time I almost ruined Christmas? It was unlucky that I broke the Here Comes Christmas Candy Cane, yeah, but if I hadn't flown up to adjust it it wouldn't have happened.

"Yeah, you're right- hey, isn't that the time Pinkie Pie told you to fly to the North Pole, knowing you didn't know how to fly a hot air balloon, and made it out to be your fault when you almost died?"

What? She didn't say that, I just misinterpreted it! If I had let her finish-

"She should have worded it properly! And the Here Comes Christmas Candy Cane would have fallen down anyway, it was so crooked! What's next, apologising for being green? For existing?"

What? No! That's-

I noticed Rainbow Dash trotting towards me. Good. Somepony to distract me from Strife.

"That brat! Can't she see we're busy?"

"Minty, darling! How are you doing-"

"Tell her to leave. "

"Are you okay, dar-"

"Shut up!"

I didn't know if I was talking to her or Strife. At the time, probably Strife. But in the seconds afterwards I realised the one who really needed to hear it was Rainbow Dash.

Why should I have to apologise so much? Nopony else does. I went through HELL to save Christmas because Pinkie Pie wasn't clear enough, and I was meant to apologise! Nopony else ever says sorry to me, ever! Even when they do, it's not just 'sorry, Minty', it's 'sorry, somepony pushed me' or 'sorry, I couldn't see you because I don't have my glasses'!

I glared back at Rainbow Dash.

"Not sorry."

Pinkie Pie, Element of Magic/Friendship.

I thought we were friends.

W-What'th happening?

I thtared around. Toola-Roola was glaring at everypony. Rainbow Dash wath tearing up her dreth. Sssscootaloo wath jutht thitting there, thtaring at nothing. SsstarSssong wath flying above it all, thmiling. Ssssweetie Belle was throwing rocks. Minty wath glaring at the ground. I thtill haven't theen Cheerilee thince she galloped off. Kimono only jutht woke up and she lookth ath confuthed ath I feel.

But that'th not even the wortht part. They're grey. All grey. Rainbow Dash'th beautiful rainbow mane, SsstarSssong'th sparkly wings, Sssscootaloo'th dirty coat, Minty'th pink locks, Toola-Roola'th shiny fur, Sssweetie Belle'th sharp horn............all grey. Why? What'th happening? When will it thtop? When will I get my friendth back?

I thtared up at the thky, beginning to thing quiety to mythelf.

"All of the wayth it can fall apart,

thomething you thay, a thimple mithtake,

Mithunderthtandingth taking away yearth worth of love,

What on Earth happened?

I thought we were friendth!

"How I adored playing with them,

and I knew they loved playing with me,

You'd alwayth find uth thide by thide, wherever we were....

What the hell happened?

I thought we were friendth!"

I thtared longingly at them for a while. Maybe there wath thtill hope? I galloped over to Toola-Roola, hoping for the betht. Fingerth crothed. Well, you croth your fingerth. I'll jutht croth my hooveth.

"Remember? Once you told me, you're a li'l thcared of the dark,

I told you, I can be afraid of it too!

We shared our feelingth, good friendth always do!"

I expected her to thnap out of it and regain her colour, but she jutht raithed a hoof and thlapped me acroth the fathe, thinging back at me, with anger in her voice.

"Minty's right there!

Scoots and Sweetie too!

They'll hear you saying I'm scared of the dark!

Now scram!"

I thighed, trotting off, thtaring at the ground.

"Being a pal, having a pal who'd come when I called.....

Tell me what happened?!

I thought we were friendth?!

Being a pal,

having a pal who'd come when I called.....

Tell me what happened.....

I thought we were frieeeeeeendth...."

Author's Note

The song Pinkie sings is a reprise/parody of That's What Makes A Friend from Twinkle Wish Adventure