I'm here to see my ex-wife.
Ponyville cemetery was located half a mile outside the town, placed on a small hill. It was also one of the sunniest places in Equestria, and while unorthodox, it was not uncommon for people to have a picnic outside the walls or take a walk on the paths inside.
Rarity was leaning against one of the many birches surrounding the cemetery. She was surprisingly calm in spite of the macabre surroundings. But all the trees, bushes, and and flowers covering the ground and the old chapels gave the place a more park-esque feeling, and the fact that there was a flower shop and a café on the premise helped easing it up. She had been here waiting for a couple of hours now, as her ex-wife were bound to meet her here at one o’clock. Now it was half past three, and still no sign. What wouldn't I give for a double espresso right now...Rarity sighed.
She had no real problem with the delay in itself, she could wait. She had time. But she had a clear idea of the reasons behind the delay, and if she was right... She would not like them.
She would not like them at all.
Suddenly, in the distance, she heard the creaking sound from the seldom used eastern gate opening and closing. Rarity felt her body tensing up. Very few people used that entrance, but she always did. Called it “family tradition”. And not surprising, the well-known silhouette was soon visible, walking along the gravel path. Jaqueline “Jackie” Apple was an impressive sight from afar. She was born of the earth people, and shared her sturdy build with her ancestors. She was six foot five, and looked like she could lift a middle-sized foal with her bare hands. Her blond hair was tied in the usual ponytail, and a Stetson rested on her head as always. Since today was a Sunday, she wore the black one. Once upon a time, she had been the most beautiful thing Rarity knew. In part, she still was, but the closer she came to Rarity, the more she saw… Her face was still a healthy sunburnt nuance, but the wrinkles had generously gathered around the eyes, and it was impossible for Rarity to deny how hollow she looked. The black suit, handcrafted by Rarity had once suited her perfectly. Now, it hung over her shoulders like wet leaves from a tree. The blond hair was getting more than a few streaks of grey. On the day of their wedding, her stride had been proud and strong. Now it was shaky and unsure, like a foal that still learned to walk. Rarity sighed. Yep, she had been right. She knew well enough how this meeting would end.
Jaqueline had stopped next to Rarity, but she was looking everywhere but on her. A tombstone on Rarity’s right seemed to be extraordinarily interesting in this moment. Her Stetson was still covering her eyes. After a good deal of silence, she lifted the hat. She didn't look at Rarity, she was staring at at the ground. And after another period of silence, she began to speak.
“Howdy, Rares.” Her tone was a sorrowless, joking one, but her hands were shaking.
Rarity had none of that. “You are late.”
Jaqueline wiped the sweat from her neck with her jacket. “Dang, it’s hot.” She paused, “Yeah, ah may be a little late, but yer know… the acres.”
“Oh, I know. I know very well about ‘the acres’. You being late has very little to do with ‘the acres’.
Jaqueline coughed. “Farmwork took it’s time. It was the season to plow and ya gotta be careful ‘bort that. Bloom ain’t ready to drive the Lambo, and… And ah had to feed them cows. And…”
“It takes you two hours to plow the fields. Three if it’s raining. Today has been the hottest day in weeks. Two hours. And Bloom can feed the cows. AND plow. I’ve seen her drive.”
“Ah had to take care of the farm. Ah had to. For real.” Jaqueline’s eyes were still fixed on the ground. No, not on the ground. The tombstone, visible between Rarity’s feet. She was staring at it, like she hoped it would burst into flames. Her hands were shaking like thin tree branches in a storm. And then, like she couldn't take anymore, her hand flew in under the jacket and returned with a bottle. She unscrewed the capsule with her thumb and brought the bottle to her lips, taking a hearty swig of the auburn fluid. Rarity’s eyes shot arrows, but Jaqueline didn't seem to care, “Aaah… that one knew where to go…” She looked at stone and offered Rarity the bottle. “Want a swig?” The liquor had made some of the pride return to Jaqueline’s voice, but it also gave it a slight pitch of nastiness which Rarity abhorred.
Rarity sighed, and looked away. “Oh, what a surprise. You are drunk.” Rarity was to tired of the situation to be bitter, but Jaqueline reacted as had a wasp stung her.
“HEY! AH’M NOT… Ah’m not drunk… Ah just… It was just a little… It was so hot in the barn.”
“There’s a waterhose in the barn if you're thirsty. You haven’t been working today, have you? You’ve been down at Berry’s. And now you show up here. Drunk. As usual.”
“Yep, it was really hot in the barn. But… it looks like it will be a good harvest. And the orchard’s coming along great. There will be plenty of cider this year.”
Rarity sighed. “Why do I even try…”
Jaqueline raised her voice and held up an accusing finger, “Ah was sober last week, ah’ll have y’all know! At our anni… anniversary.”
“Oh, am I supposed to be grateful? Once a year my ex-wife is sober, lucky me?!”
Jaqueline's dimmed eyes were now furious. She emptied the bottle in three swigs, and then threw it away. “Alright! Alright! Ah’m drunk! Ah’m a walking barrel of cider. Ah guess that’s what yer wanna hear. Happy?”
Rarity’s voice was tired, “Is there any reason for me to be?” She had always been shorter than her wife, and she had to stand on her toes to be face to face. But it was as if Jaqueline looked straight through her. Her eyes were cold and hard as stone. “Is it strange? Huh? Is it really that fucking strange? This is all yer fault, ya hear me! ALL. YER. FAULT. Because YER left ME, yer fucking cow! Ya hear! YER. LEFT. ME.” She paused, and was still for a moment, then she exploded, “To Tartaros with yer, ya cunt!”
Rarity backed away from her furious ex. She had no real reason to, but she did it purely by reflex. Jaqueline was screaming, spitting and cursing. She threw her arms around like the wings of a windmill, and kicked the ground violently with her boots. One kick hit the tombstone, and it fell to the ground, and broke in two pieces.
Rarity gasped, and Jaqueline threw her hand for her mouth. She seemed to sober up in an instant, and fell to her knees, desperately trying to fix the broken stone. “Rarity!” She screamed, “Rarity! Fuck, Ah’m sorry, ah didn't mean to…” And then she began to cry. “Ah’m sorry! Ah’m so, so sorry… Rarity… please… Please forgive me. Ah… It was… Ah didn't mean to… Please.”
Rarity kneeled down next to Jaqueline and put her arms around her. She began to stroke her hair, but Jaqueline didn't react. “Ah know yer hate it when ah drink. And ah… Ah hate it to. So much. Ah know what it does with me… How ah look. Ah can’t look at mah face in the mirror anymore. And Mac and Bloom and Zecora and Granny… Even lil’ Aisha sometimes…” She paused, and reached for the bottle. “They know. They all know. They’re ain’t sayin’ nothin’, but they know. And they try to help. They really do. They talk to me, they hide my bottles, they take me to the Doctor… And they fill in for me when ah oversleep or… worse. And our friends, they…” Rarity nodded. “Dash gives me a piece of her mind almost every week. She comes looking for me. Mac doesn't dare to, but yer know Dash. If she finds me at Berry’s, she throws me out and drag me home. Ah broke one of her ribs a month ago, but she doesn't stop. That’s loyalty for ya. And Shy and Diane and Spike and Twi… They all try and help.”
She stopped. She had managed to put the tombstone back together. Now she took of her Stetson to look at it. “But ya know the truth? It doesn't matter what they do, cuz.../ah don’t want to stop." She paused, and looked briefly at the sky. "Don’t get me wrong!” She added quickly, “Ah hate it. Ah hate it with every part of mah soul. Ah hate what it turned me into. But Ah still don’t want to stop, because… At the bottom of every DAMN bottle… that’s where ah find mah Rarity.” Rarity drew a quick breath and stared at Jaqueline. Her voice was barely a whisper, but Rarity could hear every word.
“When it hits me real good, so much that ah doze off, ah dream. Ah dream the best dreams, that never comes to me sober. Dreams ‘bout yer. ‘Bout us. That yer still with me. That the acres are like they used to be, when yer were there. And we do all that fancy stuff we talked ‘bout. The travels. The new house. The kids…”
Jaqueline briefly stroke her belly, where there could have been something that never got to be.
“And as long as yer there, in the bottom of every bottle… Ah don’t really care about them hangovers or waisted workdays. Ah just want to fall asleep and dream of yer arms around me again.”
Rarity hugged her tighter. For a brief moment it was as Jaqueline felt it and relaxed. But then, she began to cry again. “Dammit all! Yer know what ah wish? That one day… it will be to much. That ah’ll drink mahself to sleep and… never wake up again. That they will lay me down here to rest next to yer... Never to be alone again.”
Rarity put her mouth next to Jaqueline's ear, hoping and praying that this time she would come through. “Darling… My sweet sweet darling. Please don’t give up. Please. They need you. They really do. Please, don’t drink any more. You have a life to live still. Don’t hurry because of me. I can wait. I promise. I will wait.”
Jaqueline had stopped crying now. She reached for the bottle, took it in her hand, turned it upside down and watched the last few drops fall down on the grass. “Heh. Seems like ya got served anyway, Rares.” Jaqueline's smile was hesitant, but it was still a smile. Rarity rolled her eyes, and resumed stroking her hair.
“Ah will stop drinking. Ah promise. For Mac. For Bloom. For mah friends. And for y-yer…”
Rarity sighed. She wanted to believe, she really did. But this was not the first time they had this ‘conversation’. Probably not the last either. They sat there as the sun sank, and day turned into evening. Soon the warden would come and ask Jaqueline to leave. Rarity began to feel how the connection slowly faded. The time was up, and Rarity began to fade away. But she would soon be back, waiting for Jaqueline. She would always be there. She had time.
IN MEMORIAN
RARITY BELLE-APPLE
LOVING WIFE
BEST FRIEND
978 - 1023
Author's Note
Still regret nothin'.
