It was late one evening, and Sugar Cube Corner was quiet. Too quiet. Mrs. Cake glanced over the table she'd laid out in front of the archway into the kitchen. Nopony was in sight. She had a strainer on her head like a makeshift helmet, and a spatula firmly grasped in her hand. “Do you see her anywhere, honey?”
Her husband watched the back door, peering through the glass cautiously. He was wearing a pot on his head, with an egg beater in his own hand. “Nothing yet, Snookums, but don't let your guard down.” Suddenly, they heard a series of sounds coming from somewhere in the bakery. “What's that?” Mr. Cake asked, confused.
Mrs. Cake listened carefully to the sound. It was a somewhat squishy sound followed by a loud pop. The sound repeated over and over, getting louder and louder. “It sounds like...” Realization dawned, and she looked up at the ceiling to find Pinkie Pie. The filly's celadon dress hung down lightly, and she had plungers strapped to her hands, as well as her tennis shoes. She was using their suction to cling to the ceiling, while carefully making her way across it. “Honey bear! Above!”
“I got her!” Carrot Cake leapt atop the counter, jumping up and snatching Pinkie by her sides. The filly squealed in surprise as she was pried from the ceiling.. All her plungers popped at once as she came free, but Mr. Cake had rushed into catching her and didn't have a landing strategy. He hit the ground hard on his back, Pinkie landing safely in top of him.
The stallion groaned as his backside was overtaken by pain. Pinkie's face came into view as he stared at the ceiling, and she gave him a big smile. “Hi uncle Carrot Cake!”
In his pained state, he cheerfully responded, “Hello, Pinkie Pie. How are yo-”He was cut off as Pinkie suddenly shoved a plunger into his face. Carrot flailed and tried to pry it off.
Pinkie gave a triumphant laugh as she jumped off his chest, tossing the other plungers on the ground behind her. She didn't get far though, as Cup Cake blocked her way. “Not so fast, young lady! You are not touching that cake, tonight!”
Seeing the spatula in her hand, the filly desperately looked around for a means to defend herself. She opened the closest drawer to her, and took out a wooden spoon, aiming it at her aunt like a rapier. “En garde!”
Mrs. Cake swung to knock the spoon out of her hand, but Pinkie held firmly with both hands, blocking the strike. She played defense for the first few swings, and then began swinging the spoon about wildly. Cup Cake took a step back from the random swings, and Pinkie attempted to use this opening, thrusting the spoon forward for the killing blow! As she did she gave the fierce battle cry, “VALLHALA!”
The spoon was caught in one of the holes of the spatula as her aunt blocked the attack. The older mare twisted the spatula, prying the spoon from Pinkie's grasp, and tossing it aside. “Looks like you're unarmed, young lady.” Mrs. Cake smiled triumphantly. “Now why don't you be a good filly and go brush your teeth, and go to bed?”
Pinkie looked for anything else she could use as a weapon as she was lectured. Conveniently, on the counter beside her was a coconut cream pie. She took hold of it and cried out, “Never!” as she threw it straight into her aunt's unsuspecting face.
It splatted hard, staying there stuck to her face for a moment. It slowly came off, falling to the ground, leaving a cream covered and grumpy face in it's wake. “Pinkamena Diane Pie! Who throws a perfectly good coconut cream pie into someone's face?!”
“Someone who appreciates classic comedy gold!” Pinkie shouted back.
“Good heavens, what a mess. Carrot Cake, please defeat Pinkie while I clean myself up at the sink?”
Mrs. Cake walked past Pinkie, as well as her husband, who was holding a plate of cookies with narrowed eyes. He held one up between two fingers, and began to move his lips out of sync with his own speech. “Now is the time that we end this, my niece.”
Pinkie's own eyes narrowed, and she imitated his out-of-sync speech. “I think not, uncle-san!” Pinkie cartwheeled aside as Carrot flung a cookie at her, as if he was throwing a shuriken. He threw sugary discus after sugary discus as Pinkie bounced, rolled, and ran, avoiding the baked goods. She climbed up on one of the counters, finding a plate of glazed doughnuts, and twisted around, hurling one at her uncle. Mr. Cake ducked under the attack, and resumed his own.
This time however, rather than avoid the cookie, Pinkie chomped down on it. She gulped it down and said, “Mmmm, chocolate chip!”
She then threw another doughnut, and this time it was Carrot's turn to catch the treat in his mouth. He rapidly munched it down and said, “Mmmm, chocolate glazed!”
The two continued to fling the treats at one another, as well as eating their opponents ammo. Mrs. Cake walked up alongside her husband with her hands on her hips. “Honey! Stop throwing and eating food! Honestly, you're as bad as Pinkie!”
A doughnut smacked her in the face, and she caught it before it hit the ground. Staring at it for a moment, she blushed, glancing at her husband who had a sly grin on his mug. Cup Cake huffed and placed her hand on her hip, taking a bite of the doughnut. Her husband muttered, “Hypocrite.”
“It's strawberry glazed, what do you expect me to do?”
Pinkie giggled in delight and said, “You're chocolate chip cookies only fuel my desire for justice! Aaaaand cake!”
Cup Cake considered her words, and got an idea. She opened up a cookie jar, taking out a different type of cookie. “Pinkie, catch!”
The filly bent at her knees, wiggling her hind quarters like a cat ready to pounce, and jumped to catch the cookie in her mouth. She happily munched it down, but her chewing slowed to a stop as she went wide eyed. She began to cough, and fell on her side on the counter, groaning dramatically as if she were in pain. She fell to the floor, landing on her hands and knees, and looked up weakly. “What kind of cookie was that?!”
Her aunt smirked and said, “That, my lovable niece, was a sugar free oatmeal raisin cookie.”
“What?! Raisins don't belong in cookies! And sugar free?! Blasphemy!” She laid on her back, clutching her chest and reaching skyward with a dramatic wail.
“Now, now, young lady. Someday you'll realize that even healthy cookies are delicious.” She closed her eyes and nodded her head sagely, but when she looked back at her niece she was crawling into one of the cupboards under the counter. “She's getting away! Honey bear, stop her!” The two older ponies rushed over as the filly shut the door. When they opened it, she was gone. “How in Equestria does she do that?!”
“She can't have gotten far!” Carrot shouted, opening any and all nearby cupboards looking for her. His wife joined in, digging around and trying to find any trace of her.
Meanwhile, Pinkie slowly crawled out of a cupboard across the kitchen from them, next to the fridge. Her prize awaited her inside, but she was weak. She needed sugar. That's when she spotted a cake frosting tool filled with green icing. She snatched it with a big grin, squeezing half of it into her mouth, and then gulping it down with a big satisfied sigh. “Ah-ha! There you are!” her uncle cried out as walked up behind her.
Pinkie twisted around and squeezed the green cream into his face, crying out, “WASABI!”
It splatted into his face, and he cried out flailing his arms. “Sweet Celestia! It burns! The pain!”
“Pooky,” his wife began as she walked up to him, hands on her hips and the fridge behind them. “That's not really wasabi. It's green frosting.”
Her husband went still, and slowly scooped it off his face. “Oh... well it still stung...”
Cup Cake snatched the cake frosting tool from Pinkie and put it back on the counter. “Young lady this had gone on long enough! Now I know we made that super-special cake sound very delicious, but when we tell you that you can't have any tonight, you are to respect out wishes. Is that clear?”
She folded her ears and put her hands behind her back, swinging her foot and looking like a chastised filly as she was lectured. “You're right Auntie Cup Cake.” She opened her arms and walked over, hugging the woman's stomach. Mrs. Cake smiled and hugged her back. “I'm sorry, but...” To her shock though, Pinkie grippe the sides of her pants and tugged them down to the ground, running past her. “I really need just a little taste of that cake!”
Cup Cake gasped and said, “Pinkie, no! Honey, do something!”
Her husband just stood there like a deer in the headlights, staring at his wife with a warm blush. “Uhhhhhh....”
At last, it was in her grasp! Pinkie opened the fridge with a giddy squeal, peeking inside. When she saw the cake, her smile faltered, and she froze up. She stood there as Cup Cake pulled her pants back up, and turned around with a nervous expression. Pinkie was frozen in place, a long silence filling the room. “It's... it's for me?”
The cake read “Happy Birthday, Pinkie Pie” and had a picture of her and her sisters painted on top of it in frosting. The cakes held hands and took on warm smiles. Carrot began, “We found out your birthday was coming up tomorrow, and we wanted to surprise you.”
Cup Cake nodded and added, “You've been like the daughter we've always wanted, and we wanted to surprise you on your special day. We even invited all your sisters to come visit.”
Choked sobs escaped from Pinkie as tears began to drip down her cheeks. One of her hands gripped her dress, fidgeting with it, and the other wiped at her eyes as she turned towards her aunt and uncle. “I'm sorry. I spoiled your surprise. I just... I just... WAAAAHHHH!” The flood gates burst as she began to sob and cry.
Mr. and Mrs. Cake quickly dropped to their knees, hugging Pinkie from both sides. Cup Cake rubbed her back comfortingly and said, “There there, Pinkie. You didn't know, it's okay.”
“Even without the surprise, we can still make your birthday super-special!”
Pinkie sniffled and choked down another sob, looking at them with hopeful shimmery eyes. “R-Really?” Both her aunt and uncle nodded enthusiastically, both helping to dry her eyes. “I guess... I can wait until tomorrow for the cake. It would be rude to have any before my sisters arrive.” She smiled, and hugged both of the Cakes. “I love you,” she stated softly.
“We love you too, Pinkie Pie,” both of them chimed at the same time.
The fridge was shut, and Pinkie was carried upstairs where she finally brushed her teeth before being tucked into bed. She fell asleep, exhausted by the fun she'd had with her aunt and uncle, but she slept with a smile on her face, looking forward to what would certainly be the best birthday in her whole life.
Author's Note
A story inspired by artwork and a concept designed by TheOwlGoesMoo.
Proofread by Goombasa.
