Chapters 1 - More Questions than Answers
That. Just. Happened.
Rainbow Dash stared up at the ceiling, desperately trying to process the events of the last hour. The moon was descending but still a long ways from the horizon. The room was dark, save for the dim light streaming in through the crystal windows.
She thought she could faintly make out streamers still dangling from the ceiling. She had no idea where the balloons had come from, and she’d been here for it. The blanket was covered in bits of confetti and some had managed to make it under the sheets, creating a faint crinkling sound when she moved.
The heaviest sound to her ears was her own frantic breathing. Next to her came a repeating series of long, high-pitched breaths interrupted by the occasional giggle.
She giggles in her sleep.
Rainbow Dash added that to the long list of things she still couldn’t believe she’d learned tonight.
She turned her head and saw her laying there, still but for the rise and fall of her chest. The large, front-facing curl hung down in front of her face and twitched with her exhalations.
Rainbow Dash looked back up at the ceiling. Her heart was pounding like a drum in her chest. She’d heard Applejack describe a sort of fluttering sensation before, but this felt more like she’d just flown a marathon.
Everything is different now.
She closed her eyes to try to sleep again but her mind was racing too fast. Why did this happen? How did this happen? What did it mean? What was going to happen in the morning? What would she tell the others? Would she tell the others?
She sat up suddenly. She had to get out of here. Had to spread her wings. Had to speak to somepony. Had to do something, anything but lie here next to this amazing, mind-blowing, terrifying mistake that still didn’t seem quite possible.
She slipped out of the bed and crept to the door, opening and closing it behind her as quietly as she could. She knew exactly where she was going.
Rarity was startled awake by a pounding sound at the door to her room. With the Crystal Ball ended, Princess Cadance had been kind enough to put her and her friends up in guest rooms for the night. She’d been looking forward to getting some shut-eye and the last thing she expected was some late-night visitor.
For a brief moment, she thought it might be Fancy Pants. She’d spoken with him at the ball and had a lovely conversation. She shook that thought out of her head, however. It was nothing more than the feverish delusions of morning amnesia still trying to assign dream logic to her situation.
Another, much more likely possibility came to mind. Twilight and Applejack had some argument over the bedcovers and now her services were needed to make their relationship work again.
“Just a minute, darling,” she called out. She resigned herself to whatever this new horror was, but not without coffee. Blinking her eyes to try and chase away the sleep, she approached the door. She let a long yawn pass, then opened it.
“RARITY!” Rainbow Dash screamed into the room, all but tackling her in her enthusiasm. “I NEED YOUR HELP!!!”
“Not without coffee, you don’t.” Rarity stepped out into the hall, trying to remember which direction lead to the kitchen.
“But this is an emergency!” Rainbow Dash insisted.
“Is somepony on fire?”
“No, but--”
Rarity shot a glare at Rainbow Dash. “If nopony is on fire, then it can wait until I have coffee. You remain here. I will return shortly.”
Rarity closed the door in Rainbow Dash’s face, shutting her in the room before she could protest further, and headed down the hall in the direction of the kitchen. Surely, there would be something there that she could brew.
Rainbow Dash nervously danced back and forth across her hooves as she waited for Rarity to return. She knew Twilight talked to Rarity about relationship stuff all the time. Rarity was the big love expert or something like that. She’d know what to do.
While she waited, she thought back about how this had all come about. She remembered inviting Pinkie to go flying with her in the skies over the Crystal Palace. They lit up the sky together with a Sonic Rainboom.
“That was awesome!” Rainbow Dash cheered as they returned to the Palace. The ball had been over for at least an hour by the time their flight concluded and she was more than ready to hit the sack.
“I know!” Pinkie agreed. “My favorite part was the rainboom! I’d always wondered what it felt like to do that. I thought it’d feel like turning into fruit punch, and I was right!” She bounced after Rainbow Dash, following her down the hall to the guest rooms.
Rainbow Dash smiled, thinking about how good those covers were about to feel. “Yeah, that was pretty fun. Thanks for going flying with me, Pinkie.”
“You’re welcome!” Pinkie stopped in the hall, looking at the doors. “So, do we go to my room or your room?”
“Huh?” Rainbow Dash wasn’t sure what Pinkie was asking, nor was she sure she was awake enough to figure it out. “What do you mean?”
“Well, my date never came but then you took me out flying so you’re kind of my date now. Which room do we go to?”
Rainbow Dash blinked, not really sure what Pinkie was getting at. She just knew she wanted bed imminently. “Mine, I guess?” She drifted towards the door to her room and propped it open to enter.
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie followed her through the door, closing it behind her, and then the world changed forever.
The door opened and Rarity returned through it, shaking Rainbow Dash out of memory. A mug levitated beside her with faint wisps of steam emerging from it. She took a sip, then addressed Rainbow Dash. “Okay, explain.” She lifted the mug for another drink.
“I JUST HAD SEX WITH PINKIE PIE!!!” The truth exploded out of Rainbow Dash, hitting Rarity dead-on. She gasped and choked on her coffee, pushing the mug away with magic and coughing. She turned away from Rainbow Dash and coughed up fluid, spattering the crystal tile. “Uh…are you okay?”
Rarity coughed twice, then glared at Rainbow Dash out of the corner of her eye. “I have coffee in my lungs because of you, how do you think I feel?” She let out another cough and gasped up more fluid, then stepped back from the mess and grimaced at it. “I need a rag,” she muttered, then turned her focus back to Rainbow Dash. “Why in Celestia’s name would you possibly think I wanted to hear about this?! And with Pinkie?! I…no, I have so many questions but I do not want the answers to them. Please, leave me to clean up this mess in peace.”
Rainbow Dash’s heart sank. She needed help desperately and Rarity was supposed to be the pony that provides it. “No, you don’t understand, I had sex!” she insisted.
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Yes, and I’m so proud of you. Another notch in the bedpost and all that. Good, uh…good job, tiger. Whatever validation you’re looking for, pretend I said it and let us be finished with this dreadful conversation.” She muttered to herself, “I can’t believe I woke up from a perfectly good dream for this.”
Rainbow Dash circled around Rarity so that she could see her again, much to Rarity’s ire. “You can’t kick me out. You’re supposed to know what I do next!”
“What, in bed?” Rarity frowned. “I don’t know what terrible rumors you’ve been listening to but--”
“No, I mean with Pinkie!”
Rarity stared at Rainbow Dash for a few seconds, then repeated, “I don’t know what terrible rumors you’ve been listening to--”
“Rarity, you have to help me!” Rainbow Dash started to hyperventilate. “I don’t know what this means. What do I do now? Does this mean we’re a couple? Is she going to want to do sappy stuff like Twilight and AJ? Is she in love with me? Has she been in love with me?”
Rarity stared flatly at Rainbow Dash. “These are all very good questions that you should be asking her.”
“But I don’t know what to do,” Rainbow Dash insisted. “Everything just seems so different now. It’s like she isn't the same pony anymore or maybe I'm not the same! I don't know! Applejack said that love’s supposed to feel really good, but this just feels weird.”
Rarity huffed. “For pony’s sake, Rainbow Dash, it’s just sex. We’ve all done it; it’s not like this was your--” Suddenly, everything clicked into place for her. Her snout hung open for several seconds and she stared at Rainbow Dash in a combination of shock and wonder. “Celestia have mercy,” she whispered.
“What do I do now?” Rainbow Dash asked and, for possibly the first time since Rarity had known her, she just looked scared and vulnerable.
Rarity leapt into action. She put aside her coffee cup on the bedstand table and levitated a bench beside the window, scooting it across the floor to prop up Rainbow Dash. Next, she snatched the blanket from the bed and wrapped it around the pegasus for comfort. “Explain everything,” she told her friend.
Rainbow Dash blinked. “Everything? Well, she started kissing me and--”
“No, not about that!” Rarity hesitated then sighed and retracted. “Wait, actually I might need to know a little about that. You said she started kissing you. Did you want to be kissed?”
“I had no idea what was going on,” Rainbow Dash admitted. “I just wanted to go to bed. I’m not upset that she did it, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“It’s not,” Rarity answered flatly. Concerns were beginning to grow in the pit of her stomach. As much as she hated to pry into this, she needed to know more. “Did you give Pinkie any indication that you wanted this to occur?”
Rainbow Dash stared at Rarity for a few seconds, trying to puzzle out her question. “Wait, are you asking if I was…yes, when she saw that I was confused, she asked if this was okay. I told her yes. She didn’t take advantage of me. She’s Pinkie. You know she’d never do something to make somepony unhappy.”
“If only it were that simple,” Rarity answered, “but thank you for answering that honestly. It’s a weight off my shoulders to know for certain.”
“What the hay am I supposed to do?!” Rainbow Dash asked again. “I’m freaking out over here. Did you know that Pinkie’s lips actually taste like cotton candy?! Because I do! I know that now!”
Rarity raised a hoof to try and calm her friend. “What you do next depends on you. You should talk to Pinkie first thing in the morning and find out if she wants for this…encounter…of yours to mean anything or if this was just supposed to be the one night.” Rarity looked Rainbow Dash in the eyes. “More importantly, you must decide if you even want this to mean anything.”
Rainbow Dash shot back confusion. “What? Why wouldn’t I?”
Rarity sighed. She wasn’t exactly sure how to broach this issue. “Let’s talk about your feelings, Rainbow. Do you even have any feelings for Pinkie? Did you before tonight?”
“Well, no,” Rainbow Dash admitted. “I mean, she’s fun and all, but kind of weird at the same time and not always in a good way.”
Rarity nodded. “Quite. Does Pinkie at all resemble the kind of pony that you would want for a partner?”
Rainbow Dash shook her head, looking up thoughtfully. “I always thought that if I ever did settle down, it’d have to be with somepony awesome! Like Spitfire! Or Soarin! It’d need to be a pony who’s super fast and can try to keep up with me! We’d shoot through the air like a pair of shooting stars, spiraling around each other until we--”
“Right,” Rarity cut her off. “Does that sound like Pinkie?”
Rainbow Dash awkwardly scratched her mane. “Not really. I mean, when she’s really upset, it’s impossible to lose her but that’s not the same thing. But Twilight wasn’t really that into AJ when those two hooked up, and that’s worked out great!”
Rarity stared sarcastically at Rainbow Dash, willing her to listen to her own words.
“…except for the rock.”
Rarity stared even harder.
“…and the ball.”
Rarity thought her eyes might explode from the staring.
“…and the broken leg…okay,” Rainbow Dash admitted, “There’s been some problems. Minor problems that only occasionally threatened Equestria as we know it.”
“The point,” Rarity clarified, “is that Twilight and Applejack are hardly the measure of a successful, healthy relationship. If that’s truly what you wish to aspire to then be my guest, but I should hope you see reason. I don’t believe that what you’re feeling right now is love, Rainbow Dash.”
“What else would it be?”
Rarity sighed. “Twilight could probably explain this better, but there’s this…thing. It doesn’t happen to every pony, but usually the act of love-making does something to a pony’s mind. It creates feelings of attachment. I believe this is what’s happening to you. You aren’t in love with Pinkie. You’ve simply become addicted to her.”
Rainbow Dash considered Rarity’s words but they sounded like crazy to her. “What, you’re saying that having sex flipped some switch in my brain and forced me to like her? That’s stupid! You’re supposed to be helping me! I thought you were good at this!”
“I am helping you,” Rarity insisted, more defensively than she’d wanted to. “But I’m not about to tell you to run off and pursue some half-baked relationship with somepony you don’t even like based on one night of wild mistakes!”
“Wild mist--the only mistake I made was thinking you’d understand me!” Rainbow Dash bolted out the door before Rarity could get another words out.
“Rainbow, wait!” Rarity shouted futilely at the door. When no response came back, she sighed, closed the door, and mentally braced herself for yet another impending disaster. “Why couldn’t we all just be friends?” she murmured to herself.
Rainbow found herself pounding frantically on another door.
Twilight. Twilight gets me. Twilight will know what I’m supposed to do.
She danced back and forth on her hooves as she waited for Twilight to answer. After several seconds passed, she pounded again. “Come on, Egghead!” she shouted. “I need, like, smart pony stuff from you!”
She heard the sound of shuffling from within and then, after several more seconds, the door slowly opened to the sight of a very angry orange pony. “What in tarnation do ya think you’re doin’, Rainbow?”
Oh. Right.
“I, uh…I needed to talk to Twilight,” Rainbow admitted. “Because she’s smart and stuff.”
Applejack scowled. “Do you know what time it is?!”
“Uh…awesome o’clock?” Rainbow Dash grinned, trying very hard to sell her terrible answer.
Applejack sighed and pressed her hoof to her forehead. “Twi just stopped bathin’ in crazy. Don’t you start up now. I need time to get my head screwed back on.”
“No crazy,” Dash offered weakly. “Can I just talk to--”
“Good night, Rainbow.” Applejack punctuated her request by closing the door, leaving Rainbow Dash alone in the hall.
Dejected, Rainbow Dash returned to her room. Closing the door quietly behind her, she spied Pinkie snoozing contentedly.
“Does Pinkie at all resemble the kind of pony you’d want for a partner? ”
Rainbow Dash watched her sleep for a few seconds, then shrugged. Whatever she was supposed to feel, it wasn’t happening. Maybe she was broken. She’d heard so much sappy gook from Applejack and Twilight, but all she had in her was the light tinge of a physical craving. She wanted to wake her; not to talk, certainly not about what Rarity had said, but to kiss her, to touch her, to breathe her intoxicating scent.
There was a heat burning inside of her that thirsted for Pinkie. But not tonight, she told herself. She laid herself back down beside Pinkie and tried to close her eyes, but sleep still didn’t want to come.
Maybe just a little.
She rolled over on her side and put a hoof around Pinkie, snuggling up behind her. She closed her eyes again and sank into the pillowy softness of Pinkie’s hair, at last quieting her mind enough for sleep to come.
“Good morning, Dashie!” Pinkie Pie’s wide grin was the first thing Rainbow Dash saw when she woke up. She jerked up with a shout and scrambled back until there was no longer a bed to support her. As she crashed to the ground, the memory of last night’s events began to emerge again.
“Are you okay?” Pinkie bounced onto the bed and peered down at Rainbow Dash, who was uncomfortably lying on her shoulders with her hindquarters still propped up against the bed.
“Yep,” Rainbow Dash lied. “Meant to do that. It was practice.”
“Oh, wow!” Pinkie bounced off the bed, landing lightly behind Rainbow Dash. “I used to practice falling on my head too. You need a strong noggin’ for when you’re hanging things and something goes wrong.” In an instant, she was in Rainbow’s face, whispering, “Something always goes wrong.”
Rainbow Dash blinked from surprise and Pinkie seemed to return to her spot between blinks. “That’s great,” she responded with as much interest as she could feign. She righted herself and climbed to her feet, then ran a quick check over herself. Hind legs? Working. Forelegs? Fine. Wings? A couple feathers out of alignment but she could fix that.
“Anyways,” Pinkie intoned sweetly, “I just wanted to say good morning before heading out. Thanks for everything! I had a lot of fun last night.”
Rainbow Dash sat on her haunches and stretched her wing forward. She could see where the feathers had become skewed from her fall. “Yeah, me too,” she answered absently. She wrapped a foreleg around the wing to hold it in place, then used the tip of her other hoof to press the feathers gently back into place.
With her wing properly fixed, Rainbow Dash released her wing. It suddenly occurred to her that she was supposed to be having a conversation. “Pinkie, wait!” she shouted, but her friend was already gone.
Frustrated, Rainbow Dash punted a cloud across the sky. It had been two days since her night with Pinkie and she’d seen neither hide nor hair of the pony since. Was Pinkie avoiding her? Was she too embarrassed about what happened to face her? That didn’t sound like Pinkie Pie.
What if Rarity was right? What if it didn’t mean anything to Pinkie? If it wasn’t supposed to mean anything? But then why would she have done it? Rainbow Dash certainly hadn’t asked her to. Her mind swam with stupid questions she hated not having stupid answers to. It was like that whole mess with Twilight all over again, except not knowing actually hurt so that was, at least, an improvement.
Twilight.
She’d meant to talk to Twilight before, but the more she thought about it, the stupider the idea sounded. What would Twilight know about trying to figure out love and junk? Applejack fell into her lap. She’d probably never faced even a second of uncertainty like this. Well, except the rock. And the ball. But that was different, because she’d never had to wonder about AJ’s feelings!
At least, I don’t think she did. Gah! This is stupid!
Twilight didn’t have the answers she needed. She made up her mind on that. She could talk to Applejack, since she’d been the one who actually wrestled with uncertainty about Twilight in the past, but she put that thought out of her mind entirely because she would rather do literally anything else in Equestria than talk to Applejack about sappy romance stuff.
“Hey, AJ, would you teach me how to quench the burning desire in my heart? Give me as many details on how to create a romantic scene as you can. If you could put it in poem form, that’d be perfect.”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. That was definitely a conversation that was never going to take place. Rarity, of course, had been a complete dead end and Rainbow Dash wasn’t sure why she’d even bothered. That just left….
“Hey, Fluttershy, do you have a minute?” Rainbow Dash found Fluttershy working with a den of bunnies in the glen behind her house. She’d laid a few carrots out in front of the opening, which Rainbow Dash assumed was meant to coax them out.
“Oh, good morning, Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy smiled. “I do. We just had a few new baby bunnies born and I wanted to introduce them to the world, but they aren’t going to come out until they feel safe.”
“So they need us to leave them alone, is what you’re saying?”
Fluttershy nodded. “Exactly. Let’s go back to my cottage. We can talk there.”
Rainbow Dash followed behind Fluttershy as she walked back towards the cottage. She’d never known a pegasus as averse to flying as Fluttershy was, but she’d been friends with her long enough to be used to it by now. “So, listen,” Rainbow Dash started. “Let’s say there, uh…there’s a bunny. And she wants to know if this other bunny likes her. What would she do?”
“Bunnies are very social creatures,” Fluttershy answered without missing a beat. “It’s very rare for them to dislike one another.”
“Right….” Rainbow Dash landed as they arrived at the cottage. “But, I mean, let’s say this bunny wants to know if the other bunny wants to…uh…to make more bunnies with her.”
“Oh!” Fluttershy opened the door to the cottage and led Rainbow Dash inside. “You’re talking about a mating ritual. Bunnies do have one. The male will chase the female until she turns around and lightly swats at him with her front paws.”
“…okay.” Rainbow Dash thought about her question for a moment. “But let’s say a bunny wants to figure out if the other bunny wants to do this ritual with her? How does she know whether the other bunny is interested in her or if they were just mating for fun?”
Fluttershy blinked. “…they usually mate after the ritual.”
“Right, no, I get that!” Rainbow Dash racked her brain to think of another way to ask this. “Okay, let’s say there’s a bird.”
“What kind of bird?” Fluttershy asked curiously.
Rainbow Dash grit her teeth. “It doesn’t matter what kind of bird. There’s just a bird. And she wants to know if another bird wants to pair up with her.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “You can’t just dismiss the question of species, Rainbow Dash. There are a variety of mating rituals for different--”
“I’m not talking about mating rituals!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “The mating already happened! I don’t need a ritual!” Rainbow Dash huffed a few times, then stopped and looked back at Fluttershy whose naked confusion was clear on her face.
“Why would a bird not know if the other bird liked her if they’ve already mated?”
“Because life is complicated!” Rainbow Dash answered and stormed towards the door. She was beyond done with this conversation. Fluttershy didn’t get it, just like Rarity didn’t get it. She bolted out the lower door and caught a flash of pink in her eyes, prompting her to skid to a stop.
Pinkie Pie was standing just to her left, having successfully avoided Rainbow Dash trampling through her. Proudly, she beamed at Rainbow Dash. “Ear flop, eye flutter, knee twitch! Works every time.”
“Pinkie?!” Rainbow Dash was shocked. After two days of nothing, here she was just standing here like it was the most normal thing in the world. “Where have you been?!”
“That’s what I came to talk about! I’m glad you’re here too, Dashie, because it saves me time filling the balloons I need to get to your house. Where’s Fluttershy?”
“I’m here.” Fluttershy stepped out the door to join the conversation.
Pinkie smiled an uncanny smile. The kind she only got when it was party time. “I’ve been thinking about what you said, Rainbow Dash. You were right. The Crystal Ball wasn’t really a super-Pinkie party pony party! So I thought we should have one tonight! I wanted to invite you both to the “Congratulations! We made it through the Crystal Ball and everypony was happy and Applejack didn’t even break up with Twilight or anything Party!”
Rainbow took a moment to process the name, then looked at Pinkie. “Is that where you’ve been? Planning this party?”
Pinkie smiled chipperly. “Mmhmm! It’s going to be the Pinkiest Pinkie Pie party you’ve ever attended! Will you be there?”
“Of course I will,” Fluttershy answered.
“Yeah, count me in! Let’s live it up!” Rainbow Dash agreed.
“Great!” Pinkie turned to leave. “I’ve got more invitations to make, but I’ll see you both tonight! Prepare to be amazed!”
“Pinkie, wait!” Rainbow Dash shouted. Her mind filled with what she needed to say.
What was that night at the Crystal Ball about? Are you in love with me? Am I supposed to be in love with you? Are we a couple now? Were we a couple then? Am I supposed to do something? Do you even have any feelings for me at all? Do you even remember it? Did it mean for you what it meant to me? Were you using me? Was I using you? Is it ever going to happen again?
Pinkie looked curiously at Rainbow Dash. “What is it, Dashie?”
“Nothing,” Rainbow Dash answered, giving herself a self-conscious laugh. “Don’t worry about it. See you tonight, Pinkie.”
As the sun approached the horizon, Rainbow Dash spotted Applejack standing outside Sugarcube Corner, with Twilight still seated in her wheelchair beside her. Twilight’s eyes were fixed on the banner Pinkie had made. Rainbow Dash flew low on approach and fluttered up beside Applejack. “Hey, you two ready to party?”
Grumpily, Twilight read the banner aloud. “Congratulations! We made it through the Crystal Ball and everypony was happy and Applejack didn’t even break up with Twilight or anything Party.”
Applejack put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder to reassure her. “I’m sure it’s nothin’,” she insisted.
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “That only happened once.”
Rainbow Dash scoffed. “Yeah, but AJ’s--” She caught herself midsentence when she noticed the intense glare she was receiving from Applejack.
“She’s what?” Twilight asked curiously.
“Oh, uh….” Rainbow Dash shot a frantic look at Applejack, then back at Twilight. “She’s just so happy she's with you! We all are! We’re, uh…we think you two are going to make it! You’ve got all the right stuff! Uh…good job, tiger?” Rainbow Dash put the widest fake smile on her face she could muster. Her eyes glanced back to Applejack, who was busy shaking her head and facehoofing.
“Oh,” Twilight answered. She flashed a much more sincere smile in return, closing her eyes and resting her head on Applejack’s hoof. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash. I’m glad you’re not feuding with me anymore. I have a good feeling about us too.”
Nailed it!
“Give me a hoof with the stairs?” Applejack asked Rainbow Dash. She wheeled Twilight around so that the back of the chair faced the two steps in front of the door.
“Of course,” Rainbow Dash agreed and landed. “What do you need me to do?”
“I’m gonna lift up the back of Twi’s chair, then you push and lift the front end over the step.”
Twilight cleared her throat. “Uh, girls?”
Rainbow Dash nodded, taking up position in front of the chair. “I’ve got this. How long is she supposed to be in the chair, anyway?”
“A few more weeks,” Applejack answered. “Doc says she needs to keep off the leg ‘til it’s healed up enough.” She wrapped her forehooves around the chair and prepared to lift.
“Girls!” Twilight shouted, grabbing their attention. “I appreciate this. I really do. But it’s two steps.” Her horn crackled with magic for a second and then she and her chair vanished in a flash of purple, re-emerging at the top of the stairs next to the door.
“Oh.” Applejack looked down sheepishly.
“Right. Magic.” Rainbow Dash found something in the sky to pretend she was looking at.
“To be honest,” Twilight consoled her friends, “I was tempted to let that continue. It’s a relief to see you, Rainbow Dash, and not have to feel like I’m supposed to apologize for being with Applejack.”
“Yeah, I guess I was kind of a jerk,” Rainbow Dash admitted.
Applejack climbed the stairs and took her place behind Twilight’s chair. “I’m just glad you’re over it, Rainbow. Get the door?”
“Got it.” Rainbow Dash leapt to the top of the stairs and held the door for the pair. Watching them enter, her thoughts drifted to Pinkie again. Despite their setbacks, those two seemed to be handling each other just fine. Every time she saw them, she could practically feel the love emanating from them. Is that what she could have with Pinkie? Is it something she wanted?
The party was everything Rainbow Dash expected. Streamers and confetti filled the air. Balloons of every shape and color filled the ceiling above their heads. DJ PON-3 had her stand set up in the corner and her music blanketed the store. Pinkie had even set up a series of delicious treats on the counter, watched over by her pet gator, Gummy, wearing a pink party hat.
Rainbow Dash shook to the beats coming out of the DJ’s speakers as she stepped away from dancing to grab a cupcake off the counter. She spied Pinkie Pie coming out of the kitchen with a tray of tarts in her teeth, and Rainbow Dash seized up. There she was. Everypony was focused on the party. If she wanted to talk to her, now might be a good time. There was no way to be sure she wasn’t going to vanish again tomorrow.
Leaving her plans for the cupcake behind, Rainbow Dash approached Pinkie. “Hey, Pinkie. How’s stuff?”
“Cmmt cmmpln.” Pinkie answered around the tray, prompting Rainbow Dash to slap herself in the forehead with her hoof. She waited until Pinkie reached the counter and set the tray down.
“Great party. I’m having a lot of fun.”
“Thanks!” Pinkie smiled, then started back towards the kitchen. “I was thinking about Pin the Tail on Celestia later tonight.”
“That sounds like a great idea!” Rainbow Dash followed her to the door. “Where are you going?”
“I’ve got some more pastries to make,” Pinkie answered. “The cupcakes look like they’re about to go. Some of the balloons are getting low, too, so I’m going to fill up more.”
“Cool! I’ll help,” Rainbow Dash offered.
Pinkie stopped, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve never offered to help me bake.”
“Yeah, but that was before.” Rainbow Dash dismissively waved a hoof. “Now, I’m totally interested! In, uh…in baking.” She gave her fake smile again, hoping it would work as well here as it had with Twilight. She knew that helping Pinkie in the kitchen would give her a chance to talk about things or, at least, see how Pinkie reacted to her.
“You are?” Pinkie sounded more confused than ever. “You’ve literally never wanted to bake. You even told me once that you would never be caught dead baking. What’s changed?”
Rainbow Dash grit her teeth and cursed Pinkie’s memory. “I just thought baking seemed nicer than I might have thought before, and I wanted to give baking a chance to see if baking and I might enjoy each other’s company.”
“Yeah, I don’t get it.” She opened the kitchen door to return inside, then stopped suddenly. “Wait, I think I know what you’re after. You don’t need to make up excuses, you silly-billy.” She whispered in Rainbow Dash’s ear, “Meet me in the kitchen in one hour.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened. Despite herself, she hadn’t expected any kind of actual results. She thought she might finally be feeling that fluttering sensation Applejack had talked about, but it was in the pit of her stomach rather than her heart. Her heart seemed to still be beating steadily, unmoved by the events of the night.
She returned to the dance floor and tried to enjoy herself, but all she could think about was her upcoming rendezvous with Pinkie. She needed to figure out what she was going to say. She barely even noticed the other ponies around her and her desire for a cupcake was far forgotten. She couldn’t even consider eating right now, not with the way her stomach was moving about.
Pinkie, I’ve been thinking about you since our night together. I’m full of feelings I can’t make sense of and they’re all about you. I feel like I’m craving you and it gets harder every day not to see you, to touch you and hold you and taste your lips again. There’s some kind of magic in what you did to me that I don’t understand.
I need to understand this better. I need to know what these feelings you’ve put inside me are, and I want to explore that with you. But before I can do that, I need to know what you’re feeling about me.
Yeah. Something clever like that. She was sure that’s what she’d say.
Pinkie returned to the group once she laid the tarts out and pinned up the tailless Celestia. “Hey, everypony! It’s Pin the Tail on Celestia!” she shouted to the cheers of their friends. “Who’s first?”
Rainbow Dash took a turn, but her mind was so distant she wound up pinning the tail to Rarity by mistake. She excused herself shortly after and went outside to get some fresh air. The moon was already approaching its apex in the sky. She knew it would be time to meet Pinkie soon. She wasn’t sure what she wanted the others to know, so she decided to creep around behind the building. There was a backdoor to the kitchen she knew she could use.
Once inside, she waited for a few minutes, watching time tick away. Finally, she heard Pinkie announce to the party, “I’ll be back, everypony! I’ve got to reload my party cannon.” Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. Here she came.
Rainbow Dash sat on her haunches and waited as the door opened. She didn’t say a word as Pinkie closed it carefully behind her and made sure it was shut tight to keep sound out. Once Pinkie was satisfied with the volume, she turned her focus to her companion.
Rainbow Dash stood up and took a few steps towards Pinkie. “Pinkie, look, I’ve been—mmmf!” Her attempt to talk was silenced by Pinkie’s lips slamming into hers and pressing her back. Rainbow reared up onto her hind legs and fell back against the counter, but Pinkie stayed locked with her, standing upright and pressing her against it.
Rainbow Dash broke out of the kiss and whispered, “Pinkie,” but any will to talk quickly escaped when Pinkie started kissing the side of her neck.
Pinkie stopped for a moment, asking, “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”
Rainbow Dash nodded slowly. “Yeah. This is perfect.” As Pinkie returned to her neck, Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and enjoyed herself.
“Have you y’all seen Rainbow Dash?” Applejack asked her friends.
“I believe she went outside,” Rarity answered. “Perhaps she decided to call it a night.”
“That’s weird,” Twilight pondered. “Why wouldn’t she say goodnight to us? Did we do something to upset her?”
Applejack opened the door and glanced around. “I don’t see her.” She shrugged and closed the door. “Eh, y’all know Rainbow. She don’t like folks frettin’ over her. She probably just went home. Shame, ‘cause I been meanin’ to talk to her.”
“Hmm.” Twilight’s sour look communicated her feelings. “Maybe she’s helping Pinkie.” She wheeled over to the door. Opening it with her magic, she wheeled inside and called out, “Pinkie, have you seen – CELESTIA!!!”
Twilight wheeled backwards out of the kitchen immediately. “I AM SO SORRY!” she shouted, slamming the door and teleporting out of the building for good measure.
A few seconds later, Pinkie emerged from the kitchen, looking frantically around. “Have you girls seen Twilight?” she asked the confused partygoers. “I think she was looking for Princess Celestia.” She looked up thoughtfully. “It’s strange because I don’t think I invited her. It was just supposed to be the six of us.”
Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy exchanged glances before Applejack stepped forward. “Is everythin’ okay in there?”
“Peachy as pie!” Pinkie answered, then giggled to herself at her own joke.
At the bottom of the stairs into Sugarcube Corner, Twilight stared up into the night sky and tried to burn the images she’d just witnessed out of her retinas. She had no idea how she was going to face her friends again after what she’d seen. She didn’t have long to decide, either, as Rainbow Dash slunk out from behind the store.
“Uh, hi,” Rainbow Dash sheepishly greeted Twilight.
“…hi.” Twilight returned the greeting just as awkwardly.
“So.” Rainbow Dash sat down next to Twilight’s chair. “About that.”
Twilight’s beet red blush lit up her purple face. She couldn’t even look at Rainbow Dash. Her eyes remained fixed on Luna’s stars. She found the constellation she’d declared to be hers and Applejack’s and kept her focus there. “I’m sorry for walking in on you,” she offered.
“It’s okay,” Rainbow Dash replied. “We probably shouldn’t have been going at it in the kitchen anyways.”
Twilight nodded. “So. You and Pinkie. How did that happen?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I’m still not sure if it even did.”
Twilight managed a sarcastic glance out the corner of her eyes before returning her line of sight to the sky. “It looked pretty ‘happening’ to me.”
Rainbow Dash blushed purple. “Yeah, I guess so. Huh. I think I might have a special somepony. What do I do now?” She asked the question more to herself than to Twilight, but Twilight was happy to answer.
“Meet me tomorrow for lunch. I’m sorry, but I need some time to get past…that…before I’ll be able to look you in the eyes again.”
“Yeah, sure.” Rainbow Dash thought about going back inside to see Pinkie, but after everything that had happened, she just wanted to be anywhere but here. She flapped her wings and lifted herself into the sky. “See you tomorrow, Egghead.”
A couple minutes after Rainbow Dash disappeared into the night air, Applejack emerged from the store. “There y’are. You okay, sugarcube?”
Twilight whirled around in her chair, looking straight into Applejack’s eyes. “You. Me. Home. Now.”
Applejack lay in her bed at Sweet Apple Acres, holding Twilight close to her chest. The unicorn nuzzled into her neck, ever mindful of her horn. “So,” Applejack offered conversationally. “Rainbow and Pinkie. Don’t reckon I ever saw that coming. If it was a snake, it might’ve bit me ‘fore I even noticed.”
“I don’t think anypony did,” Twilight replied. “For a few minutes, I was sure I couldn’t have just seen that. I thought I might have contracted hysterical blindness or something. I want to say I’m happy for them but I just don’t see it. Or I wouldn’t if I hadn’t…seen it….”
“Love don’t always make good sense,” Applejack countered. “We should be happy for them.”
“I know. I just hope they know what they’re getting into. Love isn’t always easy, either.”
Applejack shook her head. “No, it ain’t. But they got their friends to help them through. All they need’s to trust each other, to love each other, and everythin’ should work out fine.”
Pinkie Pie let out a long yawn as she finished cleaning up the storefront. She’d cleaned up the kitchen first, making sure to pay special attention to that particular spot of the counter. The kitchen might not have been the best place for that, she realized, but excusing herself to her bedroom would have been much harder in front of everypony else.
She felt bad that Twilight had interrupted, but she’d hoped Rainbow Dash at least had fun before that. She’d expected she might hear from her for a follow-up, but didn’t think it would be this quickly. Rainbow Dash must have had an even better time at the Crystal Ball than she’d thought.
As she climbed the stairs towards her bedroom, she made a mental note to thank the Cakes for letting her have this party while they were in Canterlot. She felt bad about what had happened in their kitchen, though, and resolved to work extra hard for the next couple days to make it up.
As she slid into bed, she spent a single spare thought towards Rainbow Dash. She hoped her friend had appreciated the nice things she’d done for her. She didn’t want it to become too much of a regular occurrence, of course, and she hoped Rainbow Dash wouldn’t get weird about it.
But there’s nothing wrong with every now and then, is there?
2 - More Answers than Questions
“So let’s talk about Pinkie.” Twilight’s wheelchair was pulled up across from Rainbow Dash at the Hay Burger. She’d spent all morning thinking about this lunch. Once she’d gotten past the initial shock, she found the whole thing exciting. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie! Two of her best friends were getting together! She wondered if the others had felt this way when she and Applejack first became a couple.
“What about Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Like, are you asking how we--what the hoof is that?” Twilight levitated a folder stuffed with papers from under her chair and set it on the table.
Twilight smiled and explained, “This is my compatibility matrix with Applejack. It’s a detailed analysis of our relationship, exploring the pros and cons of our companionship.”
Rainbow Dash glared sarcastically at Twilight. “I thought AJ burned all those notes.”
Twilight shook her head. “This isn’t from last week. We’ve spent several nights over the past few moons working on this together.”
“Uh-huh.”
Twilight looked down sheepishly. “Well, mostly I work on it. She just answers questions, but she’s very supportive and volunteers whatever she can.”
Rainbow Dash’s skeptical gaze remained unconvinced.
Quietly, Twilight admitted, “Sometimes she kisses me to make me stop asking questions.”
“There we go, that sounds like AJ,” Rainbow Dash teased. “So why are you whipping this out? You don’t want me to make one of these for Pinkie, do you?”
Twilight’s face lit up at the offer. “I would be more than willing to help you if you wanted to, but no. I wanted to go over a few of the notes Applejack and I have made to help you think about where you’re going to go from here with Pinkie.”
“Ugh!” Rainbow Dash rest her forehead on her hoof. “Twilight, only you could make dating feel like homework.”
Twilight glowered. “I’m trying to help your relationship, Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “What’s to help? I like her, she likes me, we’re a big ball of like. Good enough, right?”
Twilight sighed. “No, not good enough. Romance is hard, Rainbow Dash. There’s a lot of work that goes into making a relationship work and sometimes things happen that you never expected. A lot of time has to be spent making sure you understand your special somepony and know how to communicate with her. So let’s start there. What do you know about Pinkie?”
“Uh, she works at a bakery?”
Twilight sighed. “What do you know about Pinkie that you didn’t before you started seeing her? What special insights has being with her given you into who she is as a pony?”
Rainbow Dash thought for a moment, then offered, “…her lips taste like cotton candy?”
Twilight shook her head, “No, I mean-wait, what?” She blinked a couple times. “That’s strange.”
“It is?”
Twilight looked off into the distance for a moment. “Applejack just tastes like sweat and dirt most days.”
“That sounds disgusting.”
Twilight shrugged. “It can be, but that’s just how she is. Love isn’t always pretty, Rainbow Dash. You have to be willing to accept your special somepony for who she is and hope that she can do the same for you. That means the bad parts too.”
“Pfft.” Rainbow Dash scoffed. “That’ll be easy for her, ‘cause I don’t have bad parts.”
Twilight rolled her eyes and refused to dignify that statement. “Anyways, what I was saying was that you need to spend some time with Pinkie. Get to know her more than you do now. Figure out what interests you both have and where they can intersect. Try to make a habit of at least talking to her when you can. If you do that for long enough, you’ll find it starts happening more naturally. You get used to just being near her.”
“Okay.” Rainbow Dash thought for a minute, trying to figure out if now was a proper time to ask a particular question. Not finding an answer, she just decided to go for it. “And how often should we do it?”
“Talk to each other? I’d say to set aside at least three days a week to spend with her to start off, then--”
Rainbow Dash shook her head, “No, I mean, how often should we be getting dirty?”
Twilight blinked. “What, do you mean in mud? I usually find a nice grassy spot to read from while Applejack’s working.”
Rainbow Dash groaned. “Sex, Twilight. I’m talking about sex.”
“Oh!” Twilight blushed and found something interesting in her hay burger to look at instead of Rainbow Dash. How had they managed to get the straw to quite that shade of yellow?
Oblivious to Twilight’s embarrassment, Rainbow Dash continued. “What kind of timeframe should I be looking at? Daily? Weekly?”
Awkwardly, Twilight attempted an answer. “…I mean, that really depends on your partner….”
“Well, how often do you do it?”
Twilight blushed hard enough to begin sweating. “I…that’s not really….”
“You have done it, haven’t you?”
“I…partake from time to…you know, I think we’re really getting off-topic!” Twilight tried to cover her embarrassment with a wide grin and slowly nudged the matrix folder towards Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash glared at the folder. “Yeah, I’m not reading your dumb love essays.”
Twilight sighed. This was going nowhere. “Okay, what about gifts? You could figure out what kind of gifts Pinkie likes. Or just hang out at the store and help her with her work.”
“Hold on, go back,” Rainbow Dash insisted. “Gifts? Like, for her birthday?”
Twilight shook her head. “You don’t need a special occasion just to do something nice for your special somepony. A kind word here or a small present there can go a long way.”
Rainbow Dash struggled to wrap her head around the concept. “So, I get her something nice and then she has to sleep with me?”
“NO!” Twilight slammed her front hooves down on the table and tried reflexively to stand, but the jolt of pain that shot through her leg cut her off. With a cry of pain, she fell back into her wheelchair. Rainbow Dash jumped up to help her, but a sharp glare from Twilight sent her back to her seat. Twilight breathed a few times, stroking her casted leg with her hoof.
“Are you o--”
Rainbow Dash was cut off by Twilight’s stern voice. “Is that the only thing about Pinkie that you care about?”
“I don’t know!” Rainbow Dash shouted in her own defense. “It’s literally the only thing we’ve done as a couple.” Quietly, she added, “And I liked it. It was fun.”
“Then maybe you should start with that. Find things to do together that aren’t...that.” Twilight took a few more deep breaths, then settled herself back in at the table. “Pinkie’s a good friend and I don’t want you treating her like she’s some…walking dispensary.” Twilight shuddered with revulsion for having to say those words. “She deserves better than that. So do you.”
Rainbow turned over Twilight’s advice in her head as she flew over Ponyville. Be nice, do stuff for her, hang out sometimes. That all sounded like friend stuff. Just more of it. She’d been hoping for specifics about how much touching is too much or how to recognize when it’s a good time for a kiss. The juicy stuff!
Then again, it was Twilight after all. Rainbow Dash still could hardly believe that folder she’d brought. That was her idea of romance? She shuddered to think what her nights must be like.
“In preparation for tonight’s pre-scheduled hour of physical intimacy, I have prepared the following itemized list of approved carnal activities. Please review it, then sign the attached disclosure form so that we may commence fornication. ”
The more she thought about it, the more she had no idea what Applejack saw in her. Twilight was a good friend, but she couldn’t fathom the idea that 24 hours of never-ending Twilight would become anything but tedious.
But what about never-ending Pinkie? She could deal with that, couldn’t she? Pinkie could be really strange sometimes and she occasionally hit a pitch so high it made everypony’s ear drums bleed, but she was also funny and—oh, there’s Sugarcube Corner. Perfect.
Rainbow Dash set herself down and stepped through the door. She spotted Pinkie behind the counter, ringing up the sale of a white box resting on the counter wrapped in a red bow. “You’re all set!” Pinkie informed Vinyl Scratch, the town’s local DJ. “Have fun on your date tonight!” Whether Vinyl heard Pinkie through her thick headphones, Rainbow Dash certainly couldn’t tell. She watched the unicorn levitate the box and march out the door without another word.
“Hi, Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie greeted her friend. “I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Yeah, I’m like that. I don’t like ponies to see me coming and going. It ruins the surprise.” Her mind raced for something to talk about. What had Twilight suggested? She’d been so busy talking about that dumb folder of hers that she hadn’t actually given Rainbow Dash any usable advice!
Oh, there was something in there about gifts! She was supposed to get gifts! Which she should have done before she came in! Whoops.
Thinking quickly, Rainbow Dash asked, “Hey, Pinkie, what’s your favorite type of cupcake?”
Pinkie thought for a moment. “This week? It’s cherry-kiwi lemonade surprise!”
Rainbow Dash nodded, taking in that mouthful of a name. “Could you ring me up a dozen of those?”
“Of course!” Pinkie grabbed a box and dashed over to the cupcake stand. The cupcakes in question were bright pink with green bits of kiwi sticking out of them. Rainbow Dash assumed the lemonade part was probably soaked in or something. Neatly arranging a dozen of the cupcakes in the box, Pinkie closed it and returned to the counter with it. “That will be five bits. Anything else I can do for you?”
Rainbow Dash paid her bits, then picked up the box with a hoof. She started at it for a few seconds while she thought about her idea. It didn’t seem like something that made much sense, but it was Pinkie so anything’s worth a shot. “Hey, Pinkie,” she started, then stopped herself. Her nerves were starting to send a shiver through her. She had no idea if this would work, but she wasn’t about to get intimidated now.
“What’s up?”
Rainbow Dash set the box back down on the counter in front of her. “I got you a box of cupcakes. I hope you like it.”
Pinkie opened the box and gasped. “CHERRY-KIWI LEMONADE SURPRISE!!! That’s my favorite this week! How did you know?!”
“I just had a hunch,” Rainbow Dash answered, swelling with pride for her cleverness. “Thought you’d like—uh, Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash was silenced by the sight of Pinkie burying her face in the box, from which only the sounds of gnashing teeth and squeals of joy emerged.
Rainbow Dash watched Pinkie munch and smiled to herself. Yeah, Twilight didn’t know what she was talking about. This was easy.
“She just doesn’t get it!” Twilight shouted. “She thinks she’s got everything figured out, that it’s so easy, but she has no idea how much work goes into this.”
Her wheelchair rest atop one of the hills in Sweet Apple Acres. A thick tome lay open but unattended in her lap. Nearby, Applejack set up one of her baskets under one of the farm’s apple trees while listening to her partner vent.
“Ain’t you supposed to be studyin’?” She asked as politely as she could.
Twilight sighed. She looked down at the tome and realized she’d been so focused on Rainbow Dash that she hadn’t even absorbed the last three pages she’d read. “I know,” she admitted while turning the pages back. “It just bothers me. She also said our compatibility matrix is dumb.”
Applejack rolled her eyes and lined up her kick. “Sugar, I love that it means so much to you, but paperwork don’t flip everypony’s lid like it does yours.” She let her legs fly, slamming the trunk of the tree and bringing a rain of apples down into her baskets.
A sour scowl spread across Twilight’s face and she shoved her eyes back down into her book. Applejack loaded up the first two baskets into her cart in silence, then sighed at Twilight’s sullen pout. “Come on, Twi, don’t be like that.”
Twilight flash a playful smirk before resuming her pouting. “At least my books still love me,” she teased.
Applejack breathed a sigh of relief and picked up her third basket. “Yeah, I seen the looks ‘Complete History of Griffinstone’ keeps givin’ ya.” She heaved the basket into the cart, then lifted a set of three empty ones out of the back. “Somepony better tell it to quit, less it wake up in the pigsty.”
That got a smile out of Twilight, so Applejack took the opportunity to reassert the topic. “I wouldn’t worry about Rainbow none. Pinkie’s about the most harmless pony she could be crushin’ on. They’ll be fine.”
Everything was not fine. An awkward air hung over the storefront. Rainbow Dash’s eyes glanced to the door, then back at Pinkie, then at the door again. She’d run out her short list of conversation topics an hour ago and settled for standing in the corner like a lump while Pinkie helped her customers.
As soon as Bon Bon was out the door with her package, Rainbow Dash weakly offered, “…so…how is that weather?”
Pinkie scratched at the base of her mane. “About as good as it was an hour ago.”
“I should probably go,” Rainbow Dash suggested, starting towards the door.
Pinkie smiled at her. “Aww, alright. Would you like some nookie before you go?”
Sputtering, Rainbow Dash’s attention snapped straight to Pinkie. “What?!”
“I was just about to bake some fresh ones. I always make some extras to put out as samples. When business is slow, I wind up eating the samples anyways, so it’s totally okay if you want a couple.”
“Uh…sure?” It took a moment for Pinkie’s words to click with Rainbow Dash.
Cookies. She asked if I wanted cookies.
Smiling sweetly, Pinkie told her, “Follow me into the kitchen.” For the life of her, Rainbow Dash could not tell if she was being coy or not. She could feel her temperature starting to rise.
Did she say cookies?
Rainbow Dash started to sweat as she followed Pinkie through the door into the kitchen. She remembered the kitchen. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the spot on the counter where Pinkie had started.
She didn’t say cookies. This is happening. This is happening. Be awesome.
Pinkie trotted over to the oven and twisted the dial with her hoof while Rainbow Dash filled herself with as much false confidence as she could muster. Sidling up beside Pinkie, she opened her wing and wrapped it around the party pony’s back.
Pinkie’s head jerked up suddenly at the feeling around her. “Um, what are you--” She was cut off by the sensation of Rainbow Dash’s snout laying kisses on her neck, just as she’d done the previous night. Pinkie tried to pull her neck away but Rainbow Dash’s wing made breaking the embrace difficult. “Hey, no,” she muttered.
Rainbow Dash broke off from Pinkie’s neck. “Somewhere else?” She grinned, then pressed her snout towards Pinkie’s.
That was the breaking point for Pinkie. She pushed Rainbow Dash’s wing off of her and backed away, shouting, “Dashie, STOP!”
That got through to Rainbow Dash. She stayed where she was, dropping onto her haunches, confusion naked on her face. “Stop? This isn’t why you--”
“I was going to make cookies for you.” There was a hurt in Pinkie’s eyes that crushed Rainbow Dash to look at.
She did say cookies. That wasn’t awesome of me.
“I’m sorry! I just thought…you said the kitchen and…after last night…” Every explanation she could think of for what just happened collided in Rainbow Dash’s brain. She shut her snout to end the word casserole emerging from it, then tried again with a simple, “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”
Rainbow Dash could tell that Pinkie was still upset. Her mane had drooped and she was breathing heavily. “I’ll go,” she offered, to which Pinkie slowly nodded. “I’m sorry again.” She made it as far as the kitchen door when Pinkie spoke up.
“Dashie, wait.” Pinkie crossed the kitchen to speak. “I’m glad you had fun, but we can’t do that every day.”
“Why not?” Rainbow Dash asked before she could stop herself. Mentally, she slapped herself.
As though it were the most obvious thing in the world, Pinkie answered, “Because I don’t want to.”
“You’re right, you’re right, that was dumb of me,” Rainbow Dash conceded. “Sorry again.” With those words, Rainbow Dash slunk out the door.
Rainbow Dash’s eyes scanned across the pages, searching desperately for anything that actually made sense. “Although she’s been evasive about her educational credentials, it would be a mistake to call her ignorant. Her talent for organization and structure is one place where our skills complement each other. See graph 3-C.” She laid the paper back down on the table and looked over to Twilight, who beamed triumphantly from her wheelchair as she took a bite of her Hay Burger. “How is any of this supposed to help me?!”
“It’s an example,” Twilight explained. “I want you to take a mental inventory of the traits and activities that you and Pinkie have in common. What are your shared hobbies?”
“Well, we both like pranking ponies,” Rainbow Dash offered.
“I’m aware,” Twilight groused.
“Hmm…” Rainbow Dash rest her head on her hoof, staring back down at Twilight’s complex charts and essays about Applejack. “Well, she’s funny,” she offered weakly.
“Let’s try something else. What did you learn about her yesterday?”
Rainbow Dash let out a groan. “Boundaries are complicated.”
“That’s true. What else?”
“Coming up with stuff to do together is hard.”
“Well, here’s a little advice on that. You don’t always have to be doing the same thing in order to be doing things together. Being with each other still counts even if you both have your own thing to do. Find places where your activities and her activities can intersect.”
Pinkie made one last check over her delivery cart. She had several boxes loaded with a variety of sweets loaded up as well as a few backup streamers and party poppers in case a jubilation emergency struck on the road.
“Are you sure you have everything?” Mr. Cake asked her.
Cheerfully, Pinkie recited, “Three dozen strawberry-banana surprises for Cheerilee’s class, a box of limeade blasts for Matilda and Cranky, and a cupcake variety pack for Lyra.”
Mr. Cake nodded to her. “That’s perfect, Pinkie. Sounds like you’re all set.”
“All set.” Pinkie repeated. She closed the window on her cart and took up her position in the harness. “Back in a jiffy!”
Pinkie trotted down the road, lugging the cart behind her. The sun beamed down on her as she rounded the corner in the school’s direction. She’d volunteered for the delivery to have a chance to get away from the store for a bit. Her mind was still mulling over what had happened last night.
She was still miffed at Rainbow Dash for what she’d done. She felt like Rainbow Dash had taken this nice thing she’d done and now was standing in front of her awkwardly waving. Wait, what? Her train of thought broken, Pinkie skidded to a stop.
“Hey, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash greeted her weakly. “Uh…how’s life?”
“Good,” Pinkie answered awkwardly.
Rainbow Dash scratched at her mane. “So I was flying around doing my weather patrol and I saw you heading out, and I was thinking hey, I’m outside, you’re outside, maybe we should be outside together?” She punctuated her request by grinning as brightly as she could.
“Hmmmm….” Pinkie put a hoof to her chin, scrutinizing Rainbow Dash’s story. It sounded plausible, but so did pants made of cast-iron and most of Ponyville still hadn’t quite forgiven her for that summer day. Of course, after yesterday, she had to wonder. Narrowing her eyes, she stated, “I’m not going to bed with you today, Dashie.”
“Oh, that’s fine,” Rainbow Dash insisted. “I wasn’t going to ask you to. I just wanted to hang out.”
“Hmmmm….” Pinkie stared at her for a few seconds. She slipped out of her harness and popped over to Rainbow, studying her closely. “HMMM….” Satisfied, Pinkie popped back into her harness and shrugged. “Okie dokie lokie! I’m bringing cupcakes to the school. Want to beat me in a race?”
“Sure! I’ll see you at the school!”
“Not if I see you first!” Pinkie lowered herself on her front legs, steadied herself for speed, and then took off at a mild trot to avoid ruining her delivery pastries. She watched Rainbow Dash blast off, leaving a brief streak behind her. She giggled to herself, happy to be able to have fun with her friend without feeling pressured.
“So you spent the day with Pinkie?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah, we had a blast,” Rainbow Dash answered, resting her head on the table. She didn’t sound convinced at all. “We gave out cupcakes to her customers and then she watched me move clouds around. Real fun.”
Twilight smiled. “What did you learn about her?”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “That dealing with customers is really boring.”
Twilight blinked. “Okay. But did you enjoy it.”
“Yep. Hours of hanging out and I got a firm hoof wave to show for it.”
“Why do you sound disappointed?”
“I’m not disappointed,” Rainbow Dash insisted. “It was great! We chatted awkwardly about all that stuff we didn’t have to talk about! Then she made me a friendship bracelet.” Rainbow Dash raised her wing so that Twilight could see a small, metal band with rainbow colors clipped to it. “Yep, we did real pal stuff. ‘Cause we’re such pals.”
“It’s a good start,” Twilight insisted. “Do you know what Applejack and I did on our first date? We went bowling.”
Rainbow Dash lifted her head so that Twilight could see the eyebrow she was raising. “Bowling? That’s just weird.”
“It’s not the activity that makes it a date,” Twilight explained. “It’s who you’re with. It’s the effort you’re making to get to know the other pony and the feelings that are developing between you. There are plenty of activities you’d do with a friend that can also be a date. It’s all about context.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “What about the context where we’re totally doing it so I’m pretty sure things like ‘dates’ and ‘getting to know each other’ are behind us.”
“Oh, really? What’s Pinkie’s favorite color?”
“Umm…pink, I guess?”
“What’s her favorite dessert?”
“Cupcakes, probably? I think she said something about cherry limes. I wasn’t really paying attention.”
“When is her birthday?”
Rainbow Dash stared blankly at Twilight. She was completely stumped on that one. “I don’t know, okay?! What’s the--”
Twilight cut her off. “Green, apple turnover, and the twelfth day of fall. These are things that you should know about your special somepony. I guarantee Pinkie knows them about you.”
“Hey, that’s not fair,” Rainbow Dash insisted. “Pinkie knows that stuff about everypony. It’s crazy how many details she remembers about this whole town.”
“That’s right. She made the effort to learn everything she could about all of us because that’s how much she cares. The least you can do is learn a few things about her.”
Inside Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie merrily set out her tray of sample cupcakes. Today was going to be a good day, she felt. Mostly because it was a day and most days were always good, but also because she was minding the store, and work always felt good. Except when it was awkward and uncomfortable, but that happened so rarely and she tried not to let it ruin her entire day when it did.
Mrs. Cake watched her set out the samples with pride. “Thank you for minding the store again today,” she told her assistant. “The twins can be such a hoofful sometimes. Is there anything I can do for you before I head upstairs?”
Pinkie shook her head. “No, thank you. It’s just past lunchtime so Dashie should be along soon to be creepy and awkward. I need to get ready to pretend I don’t notice. It’s the polite thing to do.”
Mrs. Cake blinked at Pinkie’s response. “Pinkie, are you and your friend having a problem?”
Pinkie shrugged. “I don’t think so. She’s just been really weird ever since we had sex. I think she’s--”
“Pinkie!” Mrs. Cake shouted. “Do you remember that talk we had about too much information?”
Pinkie pouted. “I’m sorry. Should I not have told you that she’s being weird?”
“No, Pinkie, it’s not…never mind. I’ll see you in a few hours. Have fun!” With those words, Mrs. Cake headed upstairs, shaking her head at that crazy pony.
Pinkie returned to the kitchen and spent the next twenty minutes preparing a fresh batch of cookies. She took them back out to the storefront, laid them on the counter next to the cash register, and counted. Three…two…one…. “Hi Dashie!” Pinkie exclaimed as Rainbow Dash strolled through the front door.
“Hey, Pinkie. What’s your favorite cupcake?”
Pinkie rest her head on a hoof and thought for a minute. “Hmm…this week? I would say it’s probably choco-chocolate cherry cream. Are you going to buy me a box again?”
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “Wasn’t it lime something the other day?”
Pinkie waved off the question with her hoof. “Ehh, who can keep track. I change my weekly favorites every other day or so!”
“So then how is it a weekly favorite?”
Pinkie laid on her back on the counter, casting an upside-down glance at Rainbow Dash. “You’re missing the point, Dashie. It’s not about consistency. It’s about fun. I do things ‘cause they’re fun and they make fun for others!” In a blink, Pinkie was gone from the counter. Rainbow Dash felt Pinkie’s forehooves taking steps across her back, each hoofstep punctuated by a word of her singing voice: “Life’s a-bout the jour-ney!”
A shiver ran through Rainbow Dash. She turned to look, but Pinkie was already back at the counter, cheerfully explaining, “Life comes in every flavor and every one of them is unique and special. Where’s the fun in limiting yourself? If I have to have a favorite flavor, that’s fine, but it’s my right to change it whenever I want to try something new.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes glazed over. She stared at Pinkie, still struck by the tingling sensation of her hooves. “Uh…are we still talking about cupcakes?”
Pinkie shot Rainbow Dash a sly grin. “Do you want to be talking about cupcakes?”
Rainbow Dash stepped closer to the counter, eyes locked on Pinkie’s grin. “Does this mean you aren’t mad about the other day?”
“Nope! Still mad.” Pinkie reached out with a hoof and poked Rainbow Dash on the nose. “You should have asked me first.”
Rainbow Dash reached up to rub her nose, surprised that the tingling Pinkie put in it was still lingering past her tap. What was happening to her? “Wait,” she realized, looking back at Pinkie. “You didn’t ask me that night at the Crystal Empire until we’d already started.”
“I asked you whose room we should go to. What else would I have meant?”
Rainbow Dash hung her head. “Okay, that’s fair. …so if I’d have asked you, then we would’ve--”
“Nope! I told you, I don’t want to do that every day. I want it to be exciting, and it won’t be exciting if it’s a regular thing.”
Rainbow Dash’s face sunk. “But we are going to do it again?” she asked.
“Probably!”
“That’s great!” Rainbow Dash shouted eagerly. “When?”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “When you stop asking me that question, Dashie. Quit being Twilight and trying to schedule me. I’m not the Friendship Express.”
“So, what did you learn?” Twilight asked hopefully before taking a bite from her hay burger. She was beginning to wonder if these things were habit-forming.
Rainbow Dash let out a groan. “Feelings are complicated.”
“No, I mean about Pinkie.”
“That IS what I learned about Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “I have no idea what’s going on in that pony’s head! She’s mad at me but she’s nice to me. She goes from playful to serious in an instant. She switches topics at the drop of a hoof and half the time I don’t even know what she’s--”
“So, she’s Pinkie,” Twilight summarized.
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash let out a sigh of frustration. “Why does she have to be so…so….”
“So Pinkie.”
“That!” Rainbow Dash huffed. “Why does she have to be that!”
“Because she’s Pinkie.”
Rainbow Dash rest her head on her hoof and grumbled. “Feelings are so dumb. What am I supposed to do now? Just wait until she turns around and snaps into loving me again? I can barely even talk to her anymore!”
“Hmm….” Twilight pondered Rainbow Dash’s question. Clearly, just having her talk to Pinkie and work out her feelings wasn’t working. It might be time to try something more drastic. “Okay, I have an idea. You’re going to need to do exactly what I tell you to.”
Inside Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie gave a parting wave to Mrs. Cake behind the counter. Her saddlebags were secured around her and she was ready to go. “Thanks for giving me the day,” she said to her employer.
Mrs. Cake gave her a warm smile. “You’re welcome, Pinkie. It’s the least I could do after you were so much help yesterday.”
Trotting out the door, Pinkie headed out towards the market. “Hi, Dashie,” she greeted her friend without even checking to be sure she was there.
“Pinkie!” came an answer from above. Rainbow Dash fluttered down towards the ground, hovering a few feet above it. “I didn’t expect to see you here! What random, wacky happenstance!”
“Happenstance?” Pinkie tested the word on her lips. It didn’t quite taste like a Rainbow Dash word. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Of course, I am!” Rainbow Dash grinned. “I was just floating by being awesome and then I looked and I was like, whoa! Is that Pinkie down there?!”
“Yep, it’s me!” Pinkie answered. “Right here in front of Sugarcube Corner! Where I work. And live. Surprise!”
“I know!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “It’s so wild. Who would have thought? So where are you going?”
“Oh, I was just popping over to the market to pick up supplies. I’m catering a birthday party in a couple of days and I wanted to get started on my crafts.”
“The market? That’s great!” Rainbow Dash dropped to the ground in front of Pinkie. “I’m going to the market! So if you’re going to the market and I’m going to the market, then maybe we should go to the market together!”
“That sounds like a great idea!” Pinkie exclaimed. “What are you getting?”
Rainbow Dash blinked. She and Twilight hadn’t discussed that part. “I need…stuff….”
“Ooh, I love stuff!” Pinkie started off towards the marketplace, musing aloud. “It’s not as cool as things, though. Things are a lot of fun. In a pinch, I guess I’d go for junk, but that’s kind of a last resort, you know?”
Rainbow Dash kept pace beside her. “Oh, I know! I know exactly what you mean!” She had no idea what Pinkie was talking about, but whatever kept her talking was fine.
“Thank you for coming with me.” Twilight propelled her wheelchair as she and Applejack journeyed through the bustling marketplace, navigating the sea of ponies. Applejack wore the harness of the cart she pulled through the street, loaded up with apples.
“Nah, t’weren’t nothin’,” Applejack insisted. “Got my deliveries to make anyhow. Surprised at you, though. Don’t Spike usually do your shoppin’?”
“I wanted to give him a break,” Twilight answered. It wasn’t entirely a lie. She did feel bad about how hard she worked him at times. “Besides, it’s nice to get out and do some of the chores for myself every now and then. Maybe I could try making a pie more than once every couple decades.”
“I’d be happy to teach ya. You, uh…you lookin’ for somethin’ particular?” Twilight cursed to herself. Applejack had noticed her making searching glances across the market.
“Nothing out of the ordinary,” Twilight answered as she led Applejack around a corner. Where is…there! She spotted Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie coming down the road of stalls towards them. “Oh!” she shouted in mock surprise. “Rainbow Dash and Pinkie! I wasn’t expecting to see either of you here. What random, wacky happenstance!”
Pinkie narrowed her eyes. “That seems like a popular phrase today.”
Applejack matched her skepticism. “Alright, what in sam hill have y’all cooked up?”
“Nothing! Of course!” Twilight gave her friends the most innocent smile she could muster. Looking at Rainbow Dash, she offered, “But since we’re here and you’re both here, maybe we could all go to dinner together. It’d be a great chance for all of us to bond.” She shot a pointed look at Rainbow Dash, adding, “And maybe get to know each other a little more.”
“That sounds like a great idea!” Rainbow Dash agreed. “I’m all for this amazing idea that I knew nothing about before we came here! Pinkie, what do you think?”
“Um…okie dokie lokie?” Pinkie cocked her head to the side, looking from Twilight to Rainbow Dash and trying to figure out what she was missing here.
“Great!” Twilight exclaimed. “If everypony agrees to this idea I just had a moment ago with absolutely no planning, then how about we all meet at the Café Hay in a couple hours?”
Before Rainbow Dash could agree, Applejack interrupted. “Can y’all pardon us a second?” Slipping out of her harness, Applejack took the handles of Twilight’s wheelchair and scooted her around the corner of the cart. Whispering out of earshot, she asked, “What the hay do ya think you’re doin’, Twilight?”
“Rainbow Dash is having trouble talking to Pinkie,” Twilight explained. “She needs us to help nudge her along.”
“So, you’re meddlin’,” Applejack summarized.
“What? No, I’m not,” Twilight insisted. “I’m trying to help our friends. They’re a really cute couple and I think this could be really good for both of them. Pinkie cares a lot about others and Rainbow Dash cares a lot about herself so it works! They can both focus entirely on Rainbow Dash – wow, that sounds really awful when I say it out loud.” Twilight’s face scrunched up as she considered her words.
“So, you’re meddlin’,” Applejack repeated.
“Yes, but it’s for a good cause. The cause of having another couple that we can go out and do couple things with. Do you know when our last double date was? Never. It was never. Because none of our friends has a special somepony.”
“This still don’t feel right.” Applejack took a look around the cart at Pinkie and Rainbow. Rainbow seemed to be laughing at something Pinkie said. They always had seemed to be getting along pretty well and, she realized, it might be a good chance for Rainbow Dash to learn a bit of humility. “Alright, sugar. I’ll go along with it.”
“Great! I’m sure it’s going to be a lot of fun for everypony.”
Two hours later, the four mares met at the Café Hay. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash had taken their seats at the table opposite Applejack and Twilight, respectively. Twilight beamed happily from her side of the table while Applejack’s nervousness was plain on her face. Pinkie didn’t seem to notice, however, and Rainbow Dash was too absorbed in her story to tell.
“So then Pinkie shoved her whole face in the box. She hit those cupcakes like a lawnmower made of teeth. It was disgusting, but also kind of cool.” To complement Rainbow’s story, Pinkie proudly made biting motions at the air.
Twilight giggled. “That’s our Pinkie Pie.”
Despite her concerns, Applejack spotted an opening to join the conversation. “How ‘bout this?” She shot a look at Twilight, continuing, “Y’all ever seen a pony wipe her snout with her hay burger and then stuff it down her gullet?”
“What?” Pinkie laughed. “Twilight, that’s awful!”
“Yeah, I’ve seen that too,” Rainbow Dash added. “You told me at the ball that you can’t compete with me and AJ, but I think the messiest eater award’s yours, Twilight.”
Twilight blushed. “I’m not that bad.”
Resting a comforting hoof on her shoulder, Applejack teased, “I love ya, Twi, but you’re liable to give Rares a heart attack, she sees you stuffin’ your snout like a half-starved hog in harvest season.”
Twilight playfully narrowed her eyes. “Oh, you want to talk about culinary crimes?”
“You wouldn’t.”
Looking back across the table at Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, Twilight asked, “Do you girls remember the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness?”
Pinkie immediately clicked to what Twilight was saying. “Applejack! You didn’t!”
Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, took a moment to catch up. “You mean that big cake we had to deliver to Canterlot?”
Sheepishly, Applejack removed her hat and put it over her chest. “Yeah, I might’ve had a nibble or two at it.”
Pinkie’s jaw hit the table. “But-but-but you’re supposed to be the most honest pony I know!”
“Hey, I still am,” Applejack insisted. Proudly, she boasted, “You don’t got to lie if’n you ain’t caught.”
Twilight nodded. “She told me the truth later that night.”
“I don’t get it.” Rainbow Dash rubbed her chin with her hoof. “How did you, of all ponies, figure out how to get past Twilight’s sleuthing skills?”
Grinning, Applejack answered, “Practice.”
Twilight trotted into the library and slumped down beside the table. The Hearth’s Warming play had taken quite a lot out of her and she was looking forward to a good night’s sleep. Something, however, caught her attention on the table. A small, unmarked package rest in the center, oriented away from her.
“Spike?” she called out behind her.
Closing the door behind him, Twilight’s assistant entered the library. “What is it?”
“Do you know where this box came from?”
Spike hopped up on the table to take a closer look. The box was tan with a simple red blow wrapped around it. “I think it might be a present?” he concluded. “Maybe it’s from Applejack?”
Summoning her magic, Twilight carefully untied the bow, then pulled it off and set the string to the side. She levitated the lid off the box, but found nothing inside. “Huh. Well, that’s disappointing.”
“Hey Twilight, look!” Spike pointed at the inside of the lid. Written on the underside was a simple passage:
Round in circles, there I go
“Oooooo,” Twilight trilled at the riddle. “It’s obviously the clock tower, but this is really sweet of her.” Standing up from the table, Twilight felt a second wind take her. The box had enticed her curiosity. Levitating her deerstalker hat from a nearby shelf, Twilight fixed it firmly to her head and started for the door. “Come on, Spike! There’s a mystery ahoof! Another clue awaits!”
“You are an evil genius!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
Twilight, however, was less than thrilled. “That’s what those scavenger hunts were about? I just thought you were being romantic!”
Recognizing she may have been a little too honest just now, Applejack quickly tried to change the subject. “So, Pinkie, you got any funny stories ‘bout Rainbow?”
“We are not done talking about this,” Twilight muttered to herself, laying back in her wheelchair and folding her forelegs in front of her chest with a huff.
Pinkie thought about the question. “Well, there was this one time when we all dressed up to teach her about humility.”
“Yeah, we were there for that,” Applejack replied.
“Hmm…what about that time we were in that play together?”
“Pinkie,” Twilight addressed her friend diplomatically, coming out of her huff. “We’re not sharing group stories. Has anything fun or exciting happened with Rainbow Dash since you started seeing each other?”
Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “We’ve seen each other since I came to Ponyville.” She whispered to Twilight, “She leaves a rainbow streak in the sky. It’s hard to miss.”
Applejack shook her head. “She’s talkin’ about what’s happened since y’all became a couple.”
“Wait, what?” Pinkie sat straight up, scrutinizing Applejack’s face to see if this was supposed to be some kind of gag. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t find the joke. “Nonono,” she corrected, “We are not a couple. What in Equestria gave you that idea, you silly billies?”
“Hold on, how are we not a couple?!” Rainbow Dash demanded. “We had SEX!” Twilight choked on a glass of water as Rainbow Dash shouted. “TWICE!” she added, to the consternation of patrons at nearby tables who were beginning to look over towards them.
Applejack patted Twilight on the back to help her cough up the water she’d inhaled. “Maybe this ain’t the best topic for dinner.”
“Did I say something wrong?” Pinkie asked sweetly. “I’m sorry, everypony.”
“It’s fine, Pinkie,” Applejack assured her. Shooting a pointed glance at Rainbow Dash, she continued, “I’m sure y’all can work things out later. Not in public, if ya can.”
Oblivious to the pointed remark, Rainbow Dash asked, “Did I do something? Did I forget to do something? What--”
“Careful!” Savoir Faire arrived in the nick of time with trays full of fresh food. “It’s all fresh off the stove and quite hot!”
“Oh, thank Celestia.” Twilight breathed a sigh of relief, hoping that food would do what common sense apparently could not.
“This is where we got to part ways,” Applejack told their guests as she wheeled Twilight down the road towards the farm.
“Thanks for coming out tonight,” Twilight said. “It was…eye-opening. In more ways than one.”
“Thanks for inviting us!” Pinkie answered her. “I had a great time. We should do this more often. Maybe we can invite Rarity and Fluttershy next time!”
“Yeah,” Twilight tentatively agreed. “That would be okay.” That Pinkie had completely missed the point was now apparent to everypony, but it wasn’t up to her to clear it up. Obviously, she and Rainbow Dash had a lot of talking to do.
“Have a good night, y’all.” With those words behind her, Applejack pushed Twilight’s wheelchair into the evening dusk.
“Here, I’ll walk you home,” Rainbow Dash offered.
“Sure.” Pinkie chuckled as they started walking. “Can you believe those sillies?” She still couldn’t wrap her mind around how Twilight and Applejack got the impression that she and Rainbow Dash were dating. Oh, and Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash seemed to think…oh, that’s right. That still needed to be dealt with. “You’re not still being all silly too, are you?”
“I don’t get you,” Rainbow Dash admitted.
“What’s to get? We fooled around. It’s not the end of the world.”
“That!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “Right there! That’s what’s weird. Pinkie, that night was amazing. I still can’t get over some of the things we did.” She stopped in front of Sugarcube Corner, putting a hoof out to Pinkie’s shoulder. “You shared so much of yourself that night. You opened up to me in a way that no one ever has before. I’ve been stumbling over myself trying to make it make sense.”
“Hold on,” Pinkie pulled away from Rainbow Dash. “What do you mean no one has? You don’t mean….” The realization hit her like fireworks in her brain, raining down streamers of understanding. “Was I your first?”
“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash admitted. “But that’s okay!”
Horrified, Pinkie shook her head. “No, it’s not! I am so sorry, Dashie.”
“Sorry? For what? I don’t think you get it.” Rainbow Dash stepped towards her, closing the gap Pinkie’d put between them. She reached a hoof out and brushed the side of Pinkie’s face. “Look, I don’t read a bunch of stuffy romance books like Rarity...or write them for some reason like Twilight…but I know me. And I know I really like the way you reached out to me.”
“I’m sorry because I--” Pinkie cut herself off suddenly, “Why do you keep saying it like that?”
“Look, this isn’t easy for me. I don’t really like all this mushy stuff. But I wanted you to know I’ve thought about it and, yeah, I think this could be really good for me. I know what you’re feeling ‘cause I’m feeling it too.” Rainbow Dash hesitated, struggling with the words on the tip of her tongue.
“What are you--”
In a burst, she said it. “I love you too, Pinkie!”
RED ALERT. RED ALERT. THIS IS THE PANIC ALARM. ALL HOOVES OFF DECK AND PREPARE FOR PANIC. THIS FRIENDSHIP IS GOING DOWN!
Pinkie began to hyperventilate as her mind struggled to process what Rainbow Dash had said to her. Rainbow Dash loved her? That couldn’t be right at all. It had to be that night at the Ball. She’d done something awful to Rainbow Dash and didn’t even realize it. She had to fix this. There had to be a way to fix this!
But there wasn’t one here. Not now. She had no idea what she was going to do and couldn’t begin to imagine a solution. She needed help. She needed Rarity or Twilight or somepony to help her figure this out. She needed time.
“Pinkie, are you okay?” Rainbow Dash asked her. “You don’t have to worry anymore. I told you what I’m feeling.”
She needed time. She needed all of this to go away. She needed to be doing anything but having this conversation right now, anything but swimming in this ocean of questions with no answers.
“Dashie?” she asked weakly. “…would you like to come upstairs with me?”
Pinkie could practically feel the jolt of excitement that burst through Rainbow Dash in response to her question. “You mean…?”
She nodded. “Mmhmm.”
“That’d be awesome!” Rainbow Dash raced up the two stairs to the front door before she stopped and looked back at Pinkie, still standing at the bottom. “Is something wrong?”
Truthfully, a lot of things were wrong and Pinkie had no idea how to even begin fixing them. She wasn’t even sure if this distraction would work or if she was just making things worse. The only thing she was sure of was that it was too late to try and take back everything that brought her here now. The best she could think of now was what she was best at: try to make her dear friend smile.
3 - Answers to All the Wrong Questions
“Oh no, darling, you mustn’t put that scarf with that blouse.” With a glow of magic, Rarity removed the offending purple scarf from her mannequin and set it on a nearby counter, just under an open window through which the midday sun illuminated the room.
Rainbow Dash lowered her eyes sheepishly. “I’m sorry, Rarity. I’ve never designed before. I just rushed into it without thinking.”
“Yes, well, no harm done.” Rarity turned to Twilight, who was busy in the other corner of the shop sewing a white dress with green trimming. “How is yours coming along?”
Twilight levitated the dress into the air. “What do you think? I want to be wearing it when Applejack breaks my heart.”
“Hmm…” Rarity considered the dress. It looked good, but there was something missing from its purpose. “I think it’s nearly perfect, darling, but maybe add a splash of red to go with your impending agony.”
Turning around, Rarity spied Fluttershy working on a bizarre piece. It look liked a suit, but was attached to a skirt. The tie wrapped around its neck like a scarf and she’d placed a polka dotted vest over it. “Fluttershy, what am I looking at?”
“Oh, it’s okay if you don’t understand,” Fluttershy answered. “I don’t either. But sometimes you just have to accept your projects for what they are.”
“…I don’t follow.” Rarity looked to Fluttershy for an explanation, but Fluttershy merely responded by stamping her hoof on the ground several times in rapid succession, creating a loud, repeating pounding sound.
Rarity winced at the offending noise. “Fluttershy, would you mind not doing that?”
“Doin’ what?” Applejack asked in her place. She stamped her hooves several more times, and the pounding seemed to resonate through reality itself.
“That! Quit making that awful noise!” Rarity rolled over and pulled her blanket over her head, trying to block the sound, but it continued assaulting her through the reality of her store. She tucked her head and covered her ears with her hooves to shut it out, but when she opened her eyes, the room was dark.
The pounding sound continued, and as she was forced to listen to it, she realized it was coming from the front door. She lifted her head from under the blanket and glanced at the window. The moon hadn’t even peaked in the sky yet. Or it already had and was just starting to come back down. It was very difficult to tell which direction the moon was traveling, but either answer spelled the same conclusion: it was late.
Her body strained at her as she climbed out of bed. That pounding at the door wasn’t going away until she made it. Once on the ground, she let out a long yawn and stretched her hooves. She stumbled out of her room and towards the door. With a puff of magic, the door opened, revealing Pinkie Pie on the other side.
“RARITY! I need your--”
“No.” Rarity promptly closed the door and started back to bed. She made it two steps before her conscience hit her.
Rarity, your friend is outside in dire need of assistance.
It’s going to be about Rainbow Dash. She’s going to want me to teach her about how love works, and she’s going to expect me to have all these answers, and she’s probably going to share intimate details that I don’t want to hear! Does anypony even remember what a disaster my last date was? Does she even know what time it is? Rainbow Dash put coffee in my lungs the last time this happened! I don’t know how I can help her! It’s late! I’m tired! I don’t want to do it!!!
Rarity. Your friend is outside in dire need of assistance.
After considering the conflicting points and weighing their arguments, Rarity returned to the door and opened it again. Pinkie remained exactly where she’d been, but her eyes had watered over and her snout quivered with despair.
“My apologies for that display,” Rarity assured her, motioning for her to come inside. “I thought you were some manner of salespony.”
As Pinkie took trembling steps into the boutique, she asked, “In the middle of the night?”
“You’ve never been to Manehattan.” Rarity used her magic to pull her fainting couch out from the bedroom. “Come in and sit down while I put on some coffee. Please refrain from shouting any intimate details of your encounters with Rainbow Dash at me while we discuss whatever it is that’s gone so terribly awry.”
“Are you sure?” Pinkie looked back at the door. “I’m not bothering you, am I?”
“Darling, at this point, I am considering advertising my services as a marriage counselor. Now sit down and make yourself comfortable.”
Within a few minutes, Rarity had a full mug levitating beside her and set another next to Pinkie. She sat on her haunches beside the couch, letting Pinkie have the space to herself. “Now whatever is the matter, dear?”
Pinkie’s drooping mane clung to her as she spoke. “I slept with Dashie tonight,” she confessed.
“Well, that’s hardly earth-shattering. I understand that’s been going on since the Ball?”
“Sort of,” Pinkie replied. “Dashie’s been really weird and kind of pushy since that night. I think I might have done something really bad to her.”
Nervously, Rarity bit her lip. “Oh, dear. I’m not sure it’s really my place to say.”
“You know?”
Rarity nodded. “If it’s what she told me, then I think I do. Rainbow Dash came to speak with me that night. She was quite a mess, I’m afraid.”
“Oh.” Pinkie lowered her head. “That’s my fault.”
“So she’s told you?” Rarity asked carefully. “About that night being her….” She left the statement hanging open, waiting for Pinkie to finish it.
Pinkie nodded. “…her first time, yeah. She told me.”
Rarity breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank Celestia. This conversation will flow much easier if we don’t have to canter around the elephant in the room.” She took a sip of her coffee, then continued. “I’m afraid this is all about to get very messy if it hasn’t already. Why don’t you start from Rainbow Dash’s behavior? You said she’s been acting strangely?”
“I can’t believe you!” Twilight shouted across the room. She lay in Applejack’s bed, glaring angry daggers at her partner standing beside the door.
“Seemed fair,” Applejack offered to defend herself. “You was studyin’ me, so I studied you back.”
“I was studying the feelings that our relationship created. Not…how to get away with things! What could possibly have made you think that was okay?!”
“I thought it was clever,” Applejack insisted.
“It was cruel, Applejack. I actually thought those scavenger hunts were sweet! I thought you made them for me because you loved me.” Twilight’s eyes burned with raging tears, but she wasn’t ready to cry yet.
“I did! Do it right, you get more than one apple in a single buck. That’s how we harvest.”
“So, what, you’re harvesting me?”
“That ain’t what I meant,” Applejack pleaded, but Twilight’s anger was still rolling.
“See, I thought you just manipulated me, but apparently harvesting is much better.”
Applejack pressed her hoof to her face. “It’s late, Twi, and I ain’t thinkin’ right. Can’t we argue ‘bout this in the mornin’?”
Twilight folded her forehooves in front of her. “Fine.”
“Thank you kindly.” Applejack took a step towards the bed, but Twilight’s voice cut her off.
Coldly, Twilight scolded, “I don’t know where you think you’re going. You’re sleeping downstairs tonight.”
“Beg pardon?” Applejack took a step back, processing Twilight’s words. “On the couch? Twilight, you can’t kick me out of my own room!”
“Fine. Then I’ll leave.” Twilight sat up from the bed, horn glowing as she rolling her chair towards the bed.
“Sugar, no,” Applejack pleaded with her. “You’re in no condition to--”
“My condition’s just fine,” Twilight cut her off. “I didn’t break my horn. I still have my magic.”
“Stay here, please. I’ll take the couch,” Applejack conceded. She watched Twilight lie back down on the bed, then turned and stepped slowly into the hall. Just before she left, she whispered, “I love you,” but if Twilight heard her, she gave no response.
No sooner had Applejack walked out the door than it slammed in a burst of magic. She traipsed down the stairs to the living room, then climbed up on the couch and laid herself out. It was comfortable enough, but it certainly hadn’t been made for sleeping on.
She dropped her hat beside the couch and laid her head up on the arm. She closed her eyes and rolled, trying to get comfortable. She was angry for being exiled from her room but, more than that, she felt hurt. Twilight was more upset than she’d expected her to be, and she hated to think that she’d wounded her that badly.
She wondered if perhaps she’d been too defensive. She’d tried to make Twilight understand that she hadn’t meant anything by it, but she just wouldn’t--
“Are you and Twilight havin’ a fight?” Apple Bloom asked from in front of the couch. Her voice dripped with concern and a tinge of fear.
“Hmm?” Opening an eye, Applejack reached out and rubbed Apple Bloom’s head with her hoof. “Don’t worry your little head, sugarcube. I’m just learnin’ an important friendship lesson about usin’ my powers for evil.” Sitting up, she offered, “Come on, let’s get you back to bed.”
Incredulously, Rarity asked, “She actually said she loves you? She said the words, ‘Pinkie Pie, I love you.’ You’re not reading any kind of meaning into it?”
“She actually said it,” Pinkie confirmed. “She didn’t say it in that order, but each of those words came out of her snout! Except Pie. So she might have been talking about a different Pinkie, but I’m not counting on it!”
“Well, that complicates everything.” Rarity downed the last of her coffee. “So what did you tell her?”
“I didn’t! I kind of invited her upstairs so she wouldn’t notice.” Pinkie stared down into her untouched cup, nestled between her forehooves. “Am I a bad friend?”
“Of course not,” Rarity assured her. “But you have made some dreadful mistakes and we’re going to figure out how we can fix them.”
Pinkie jerked up suddenly. “I’ve got it! I can just pretend that Dashie and I are a couple. I’ll play along and act like her special somepony. Eventually, she’ll realize it won’t work and she’ll break up with me! It’s the perfect plan.”
Rarity stared blankly at Pinkie.
“What? I think it’s a good plan.”
“And what, pray tell, will you do if she never decides she wants to leave you?”
Pinkie shrugged. “I don’t know. Get married, I guess.”
Rarity sighed. “You can’t be serious.”
“What else can I do?!” Pinkie’s lip quivered. “She’s my friend. I don’t want to hurt her.”
Rarity reached a hoof out, laying it on Pinkie’s. “Darling, feigning an empty shell of a relationship will only hurt her more, especially if you go so far with it. You need to be honest with her about what you’re feeling.”
“But-but-but it worked for Twilight! She wasn’t that into AJ when they got together!”
Rarity shook her head. This was getting worse by the minute. “Okay, Pinkie Pie. For the sake of argument, let’s discuss this as though it were a reasonable course of action. Are you interested in Rainbow Dash romantically?” This should be an easy question, she assumed. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash had already slept together, so naturally--
“I don’t know. Maybe?” Or perhaps Pinkie Pie was a walking paradox vaguely shaped like a pony. That was also a possibility.
“How can you not know? You’ve been intimate with her, Pinkie Pie. I should hope that’s answer enough.”
“That was to thank her. I was having a terrible night at the ball and she made it better. She was my date. I would have done the same thing for you or Fluttershy or Twilight…well, probably not Twilight. I don’t think Applejack would have appreciated that.” Pinkie thought to herself. “Then again, they were doing that date swapping thing--”
Rarity cut her off before the topic could be lost.“I highly doubt either of them meant to take it that far, but it’s beside the point. Are you not attracted to Rainbow Dash?”
“I want to make her happy,” Pinkie answered. “Is that what you mean?”
Rarity sighed. This was going nowhere. “Okay, but do you want to make her happy more than you do for any of us?”
“Of course not!” Pinkie shouted. “You’re all my best friends. I would never choose between you!”
“Then how do you imagine you would make Rainbow Dash feel loved? How would you make her feel more wanted than anypony else in your life?”
“I don’t know.” Pinkie thought for a moment. “She seems to really be into sex. I could just--”
“Pinkie, no!”
“What else can I do?!” Pinkie shouted back. “I don’t know if I’m attracted to her. I don’t even know what that feels like.”
Rarity sighed. “I can understand Twilight being this sheltered, but Pinkie, you must know what kind of ponies you like.”
“I like everypony,” Pinkie insisted. “I don’t know what you’re asking. What kind of ponies do you like?”
“Me?” Rarity thought for a moment. “Well, I’ve always wanted to meet a stallion who is sophisticated, cultured, and very well-read. I would prefer he be larger than me, but not too muscular; if I wanted to cuddle with a rock, there are plenty to be found in the Everfree. Hmm…”
Rarity thought for a moment. “I’ve always thought that the perfect stallion would have dark, piercing eyes. The kind that look straight through to your soul, and you know he sees every part of you. His expression is at once as cold as ice, yet burns with a passionate hunger as he aches for me.”
“Uh….” Pinkie tilted her head and stared quizzically at Rarity.
Oblivious to her friend’s confusion, Rarity continued, “And he would wrap his powerful hooves around me, look deep into my eyes, and say, ‘Oh, Rarity, only your love can quench the burning darkness of my soul!!!’”
A deafening silence fell across the room. Pinkie squirmed awkwardly on the fainting couch. Suddenly aware of herself, Rarity awkwardly cleared her throat before continuing. “Sadly, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the number of stallions in this town is abysmal. It’s a small wonder so many mares end up chasing each other.”
“What about Big Mac?” Pinkie asked innocently.
Rarity blinked. “…what about Big Mac?”
“He’s a stallion.”
“…I don’t think we’re on the same page. I’m looking for classy. No offense to Big Mac, but does anypony in his family really strike you as classy?”
As if to answer the question, Pinkie explained, “Big Mac and I once had a contest to see who could balance a spoon on the tip of their tongue the longest.” Rarity stared speechless, struggling to even find words to respond to that, so Pinkie continued. “We ended it in a tie, though. We had to stop when Applejack shouted at us for licking all the spoons.”
Rarity took a moment to find her voice again, then stated, “Congratulations. You have solved any and all problems in my love life.”
“Really?!”
“Yes. You have presented a very compelling argument for abandoning my dreams and settling for Spike.”
Excitedly, Pinkie added, “He was the referee!”
Rarity abruptly stood up. “And just like that, I’m going back to bed. You are welcome to stay here if you don’t want to go home and face the emotional trainwreck that is no doubt snoring loudly in your bedroom.”
“Oh.” Pinkie looked up thoughtfully. “No, I should go home. Dashie will worry if she wakes up and I’m not there. I’ll have to figure something out.”
Rarity sighed. “Be very careful with the decisions you make from here, Pinkie. It is not only Rainbow Dash who may be hurt by your choices. I wish I had more I could tell you, but I fear your situation may be outside my particular areas of expertise. But I can promise you that I am here to talk if you need it.”
As the first rays of sunlight beamed over Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack found herself stirred awake to the rooster’s first crow. She’d spent an unpleasant night tossing and turning on the miserable couch, and she found herself struggling to find energy when sleep abandoned her. She opened her eyes to the familiar sight of Granny Smith’s green face, staring silently at her from her rocking chair.
“Mornin’, Granny,” Applejack absent-mindedly greeted her before letting out a yawn. As she stretched she suddenly became aware of herself. “Granny! You’re up! I’m just…I was….”
Granny Smith snickered from her chair. “Cool your jets, Applejack. You ain’t the first Apple’s woke up on Ol’ Lumpy and you sure as shootin’ ain’t gonna be the last. Now, I don’t know what y’all are fussin’ over, but I’m gonna share with you somethin’ my mama told me. Same thing I told your pappy when it was his turn on Lumpy.”
Applejack sat up, listening intently. Granny continued, “Some fights are important, Applejack. The ones with meanin’. The ones with a purpose. When it’s worth it, when it matters, you got to stick to your guns and work with your partner to find somethin’ that works for the both of ya. You don’t work that out, you’re just gonna start resentin’ each other, and resentment is a poison that will spoil the whole crop.
“But there’s times it ain’t, and those are the times you got to look inside ya and ask yourself: do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?”
Confused, Applejack asked, “Are you sayin’ I should lie to Twilight? Make up an apology I don’t mean?”
“Nothin’ of the sort,” Granny Smith insisted. “I’m sayin’ you need to learn to look past your stubborn pride and think on whether she might have a right to be upset in the first place. We can be a hard kin, Applejack, but there are times when bein’ hard just causes hurt feelin’s where they ain’t needed. So ask yourself: what matters to ya most right now? Bein’ right or bein’ happy?”
Applejack looked down from her granny and reflected. Was she just being stubborn? Twilight seemed terribly broken up last night. She was so angry and Applejack could sort of understand why. She felt betrayed. And for her part, Applejack had done what? Been defensive? Wrapped herself in armor made of pride?
Answering her grandmother’s question, Applejack said, “Right now, I don’t think I’m neither.”
“Then it sounds like you’ve got apologizin’ to do.”
Hopping down from the couch, Applejack reached out and met Granny Smith in a hug. “Thanks, Granny.”
Releasing the family matriarch, Applejack raced up the stairs to her room but stopped short of the door. She took a deep breath. She didn’t know what she was going to walk into, but she knew exactly what she had to do and that was enough. Turning the knob, she opened the door slowly.
As the sun came up over Ponyville, Rainbow Dash awoke to the streams of light beaming in the window beside the bed. Rolling onto her back, she let out a long yawn and stretched all six of her limbs. She squirmed sideways on the bed and sat up, yawning once more while bending her forehooves backwards to stretch her shoulders.
Absentmindedly, she chomped on thin air as she tried to find her bearings. She was in a room. It was yellow. There were balloons on the comforter. That meant…oh, that’s right, she was with Pinkie last night. Because Pinkie had totally agreed that they were a couple after hearing her awesome speech about her feelings and junk!
The next thing she noticed was the emptiness of the bed. Where was Pinkie? She thought she’d be--
Oh, there she is. Pinkie clambered up the stairs to join her in the bedroom. She held a plate in her teeth, carrying three cupcakes with pink frosting--with a stripe of blue through the middle--as well as one sprinkled donut. Trotting over to the bed, she set the plate down on the bedside table and, having freed her snout, proceeded to bounce backwards and greet Rainbow Dash. “Good morning, Dashie-Dash! Hope you slept well! I made you breakfast.”
Rainbow Dash looked over the sugary treats. “They look good, but it’s all sugar. This is what you eat for breakfast?”
“Mmhmm!” A proud smile crossed Pinkie’s face. “Sometimes I wake up craving pie but that’s really more of a lunchtime food.”
Rainbow Dash smirked. She wanted to make a joke about the words “craving pie”, but nothing was coming to her. She was usually quick with a snappy remark, but inside, she just felt strangely satisfied this morning. She finally settled on, “Thanks, Pinkie.”
Pinkie nodded. “You’re welcome. I have to work but you’re welcome to stay. I’ll be downstairs.”
Rainbow Dash watched Pinkie descend the stairs, then stared at the plate. Weighing her options, she decided to try one of the cupcakes. It tasted like a sugar bomb exploding in her mouth, with hints of cherry, raspberry, and blueberry mixed together into a cavalcade of flavor. Not especially filling, but certainly delicious.
There was something else in it that she couldn’t quite place, either. Each bite sent a shock of emotion through her. There was a strange sense of fulfillment in eating them that she couldn’t quite grasp. She needed to remember to ask Twilight about it at their next planning lunch.
Ignoring her body’s craving for actual nourishment, Rainbow Dash ate until the plate was empty. Then she laid back against the pink stripes of Pinkie’s pillow and closed her eyes, basking in the emotional glow.
I can totally get used to this.
Twilight lay still in Applejack’s bed, staring at the wall away from the door. She’d slept fitfully all night, waking several times to thoughts of regret. More than once, she’d wanted to go downstairs and tell Applejack to come back up, but she just didn’t have the energy to navigate around her broken leg.
She’s already opened her eyes in the dim light of morning when she heard the door open behind her. A cautious voice whispered into the room. “Sugar? You up?”
“Yes,” she said. Her own voice sounded dry and cracked. Had she been crying? She wasn’t certain. She braced herself for the impending drama, but she wasn’t sure if she had the strength for it.
But the hostility she feared never came. She heard hoofsteps move towards the bed and a gentle voice ring through the room. “Listen, I’m sorry for last night. I got so caught up defendin’ myself that I wasn’t thinkin’ about your feelin’s.”
Twilight wasn’t expecting that. She rolled over to see her special somepony. “I liked those riddles. They weren’t very hard,” she admitted, “but the gesture was nice.”
Applejack stepped over to the side of the bed, sitting down on her haunches and reaching for Twilight’s hoof. “That’s what I wanted it to be. I swear on a stack of apples, as Princess Celestia’s my witness, I was tryin’ to show my love.”
Twilight considered Applejack’s words. She could feel the intent in them and it sounded genuine, so she nodded. “Why did you call it practice at dinner last night? It’s not like you to lie.”
Applejack took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh. “It weren’t a lie. Listen, Twilight. You gotta understand somethin’.” She stopped there and turned her head, glancing out the window at the farm around them. Twilight could see she was thinking hard about what to say, so she gave her the chance to find her words.
After several seconds of silence, Applejack came back with, “You know what we do when we got a new piece of equipment to work with?”
Twilight blinked. “Um…use it?”
“Slowly and carefully. We pop it open and watch it run. We keep it runnin’ ‘til it breaks down. Then we find what broke, we take it apart, figure out what it’s doin’ and how to make it do it again. That’s how we work ‘round here. Everythin’ on this farm has about a hundred workin’ parts that can break down in a thousand different ways. I got to be able to tell what that clangin’ sound means or where that drip’s comin’ from or why that leaf’s takin’ on that mossy blue color. That’s how we keep the crops comin’ in each year.”
Twilight took Applejack’s explanation in. “I think I understand. I learn new things through study and research, but for you, it’s all about practical experience. You weren’t trying to figure out how to sneak around me. You just learned how to do it while setting up my surprise.”
Applejack nodded “Eeyup. It weren’t a lie I told to Rainbow last night. It just weren’t the whole truth. I told her the bit that mattered to her. I’m sorry I got so worked up, I forgot the bit that mattered to you.”
Sitting up suddenly, Twilight reached out and embraced Applejack. “I’m sorry I made you sleep downstairs. I missed you last night.”
Applejack returned the embrace, leaning her front end over the bed. “I missed you too, sugarcube. I never meant to hurt you.”
Then why do you lie to me?
Twilight wasn’t sure where that thought came from. It was a single pinprick striking outward from her heart. She shook it off and sank into Applejack’s embrace. “I forgive you,” she whispered. “In fact, I think I have an idea for how you can make it up to me.”
Rainbow Dash dropped out of the sky in front of the Hay Burger. It was time to meet up with Twilight and discuss, and she certainly had a bombshell to drop. Everything was going perfectly. Now she just had to keep them perfect, and that wouldn’t be too hard because she was Rainbow Dash.
When she entered, she saw Twilight already waiting for her at their usual table. She hadn’t meant to have a usual table, but Twilight usually showed up first and she always sat in the exact same place at the exact same table and ordered the exact same burger. It was eerie; as though she was casually scheduling her life on the spot.
Today, Twilight seemed very lost in thought. As Rainbow Dash approached the table, she saw that Twilight had that folder with her again, but it wasn’t lurking in her wheelchair’s carrying tray or sitting on the table ominously taunting her with the threat of having to read it again. It lay open in front of Twilight, and she seemed to be intently poring through it as if looking for something.
“If you’re looking for AJ, I don’t think she’s in there,” Rainbow Dash teased, but Twilight didn’t even seem to notice her. She sat down at the table, watching Twilight turn a page and keep reading. “Hey, Egghead, life’s out here!” she insisted, but was again ignored.
Finally, Rainbow Dash reached a hoof over and pulled it across the table, out of Twilight’s sight. “Hey!” Twilight shouted. “I was reading—oh. Rainbow Dash? How long have you been here?”
Ignoring the question, Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “Twilight, it’s barely been a week. You and AJ aren’t allowed to be having drama right now. This is my time.”
Sheepishly, Twilight explained, “It’s not drama. We just had a little fight. It’s nothing major. We’ve already worked it out.”
“That’s better,” Rainbow Dash accepted. “I don’t want you to be distracted when I tell you that ME AND PINKIE ARE TOTALLY A COUPLE!!!” Excited, she threw her forelegs into the air. She half expected confetti to explode from them, but evidently that wasn’t contagious.
“Woohoo!” Twilight celebrated. “Congratulations, Rainbow Dash! That’s wonderful! You worked things out after last night?”
“Oh, you could say that,” Rainbow Dash answered with a wide grin. “We worked things out all night.”
Twilight smiled. “I’m really happy for you. That sounds like you had a lot to talk about.”
“What?” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No, I was being clever. I told her that I love her and we spent half the night going hooves to Luna.”
“Wait,” Twilight asked, confused, “why was Princess Luna there? Were you dreaming about this?”
Rainbow Dash sighed from frustration. “Sex, Twilight. It means we were having sex.”
“Oh! I, uh…” Twilight blushed, looking anywhere but at Rainbow Dash. “Have we looked at the menus yet? I’m not sure what I--”
“You’re ordering a double hay burger with extra lettuce and no pickles.”
“Ooo,” Twilight trilled. “That sounds delicious. I should get one of those!” She waved her hoof to flag down the waitress.
Frustrated, Rainbow Dash waited for the waitress to come and go, then tried to pick back up the conversation. “So, point is, we made up, we did it, and now everything’s great. There was something I wanted to talk to you about, though.”
Nervously, Twilight asked, “It’s not about, ahem, ‘doing it’, is it?”
“No, it’s just this feeling I had. Pinkie made me breakfast this morning and when I ate it, there was this weird happy feeling in the back of my head. I don’t get it. I’ve had cupcakes before, but this was different. It sorta reminded me of the afterglow from when we….” Deciding to spare Twilight’s fragile sensibilities, Rainbow stopped and selected her words carefully. “From last night.”
“That’s probably love,” Twilight explained. “It’s the special feeling you develop from spending time with your special somepony. You felt that sensation because you were eating food she prepared for you.”
“Huh.” Rainbow Dash rest her forelegs on the table, thinking back.
“Is this the first time you’ve felt that way that wasn’t about….” Twilight hesitated for a moment, as if trying to figure out what to say. “…you know….”
“I guess so?”
“Then that’s a good sign.” Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “I was starting to think you were only interested in Pinkie for…that,” she admitted. “This is good progress, and knowing that she loves you too means you have a good chance at making things work.”
Rainbow Dash grinned. “Yeah, we’re doing awesome. So, when should we do our next double date? You two free tonight?”
“Actually, we have other plans,” Twilight answered. “Besides, I think the next thing you should try is a solo date. It doesn’t sound like you two have been on any.”
“What?!” Rainbow reached across the table and grabbed Twilight’s hoof between hers. “You can’t do this to me. I need you to be my wingponies on this. I wouldn’t know what to say to her!”
Twilight carefully extricated her hoof from Rainbow’s. “Just ask her about her day. See how she’s feeling, what she’s thinking about. Share your feelings and your day. Just talk to her like you would a friend.”
“But what if it turns awkward? You weren’t in the store. It got really awkward when I couldn’t think of anything to say.”
Twilight sighed. Rainbow Dash wasn’t getting it. “If you don’t have anything to talk about, then don’t. Applejack and I have spent plenty of evenings enjoying the other’s company without saying a word. Just being together is the most important thing.”
“Okay.” Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. “The most important thing. I can do this.”
After lunch, Rainbow Dash caught Pinkie bouncing down the street from Sugarcube Corner. Her saddlebags were loaded for bear but the weight didn’t seem to disturb her at all.
Descending to greet her, Rainbow called down, “Pinkie! Up here!”
Pinkie stopped and looked up. “Good afternoon, Rainbow Dash! How’s the weather?”
“Today’s my off day,” Rainbow Dash answered. “What’s up with you? In a hurry to get somewhere?”
“Yeppers!” Pinkie’s head bounced as she spoke. “I’m throwing a birthday party today. Pipsqueak’s the lucky birthday colt who’s going to get a Pinkie Pie Super-Deluxe Ultra-Birthday Bash. They’ll be talking about this at school for weeks.”
“Oh.” Awkwardly, Rainbow Dash asked, “I don’t supposed you’d like to check out Cloudsdale’s weekly pegasus races instead? They’re in the area, so I thought it might be a good idea for tonight.”
“Instead of a BIRTHDAY PARTY?” Pinkie asked as though Rainbow Dash had just suggested desecrating Princess Celestia’s castle. “Nonono, there is nothing more important than celebrating somepony’s birthday.”
“Okay, I’m sorry.” Hopefully, Rainbow Dash asked, “Then maybe I could come with you?”
Pinkie shook her head. “This is a birthday party, Dashie. There’s nothing more special than that, except for a Cute-Ceañera. I couldn’t let it be anything less than perfect. I’m really sorry, but I’m going to be very busy with this.”
Frantically, Rainbow Dash asked, “Then what am I supposed to do tonight?!”
“Uh…enjoy life?” Pinkie offered.
“Fine. I get it.” Dejected, Rainbow Dash flapped her wings and took off into the sky. She couldn’t believe this. Pinkie was supposed to be her special somepony but here she was, dumping her to go do something else for some other pony.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” Spike challenged.
“Eeyup.” Big Mac answered him.
“It’s going to be dangerous.”
“Eeyup.”
“Could cost us our very lives.”
“Bring it.”
Spike grinned from his spot. He stood across from Big Mac at the center table in the Golden Oaks Library. “We enter the dark, secret caverns of Gorrak-Ur, the last known location of Vainglorious the Bold. Dread fills our hearts as we march.” The sound of two dice crashed across the table. “Suddenly, three cave spiders descend from--”
Spike was interrupted by the sound of the library door crashing open. “Twilight!” Rainbow Dash stormed into the library. “Twilight, I need to--Big Mac? What are you doing here?”
“We’re having a guys’ night,” Spike explained. “AJ’s taking care of Twilight while her leg gets better, so Big Mac’s been coming over here to hang out. We’re talking about making a regular thing of it.”
Rainbow Dash soured. “They’re not here? I already checked the farm.”
“Try the barn,” Big Mac offered. “Applejack said Twilight was going to help her make the bales sturdier.”
Twilight lay on her side on a hay bale. She clutched a book close to her chest, eyes fixed lovingly on Applejack. Short, rapid breaths shot out of her and her snout hung open as she watched her partner approach her.
Wrapped in a black cloak, Applejack stepped forward. “You could never understand the cravin’ inside of me.”
“But I want to,” Twilight pleaded. “I want you to share yourself with me! Even the spooky parts!” Reaching out, she cried, “See these hooves? These hooves yearn for your dark embrace!”
“Never!” Applejack whipped around, sending the cloak twirling about her. She raised a foreleg to shield her eyes and shouted, “You must never know of the hunger that torments me so. It is my curse to bear!”
“Please, Count Apple, there must be some way to save you,” Twilight insisted. “And if you cannot be saved from your curse, then let me share it with you so that we two may be cursed together! We will travel the night, alone from the world but together in our cruel, eternal fate!”
“Together,” Applejack whispered. She turned around and lunged for the bales, leaning over Twilight. “Every day without you is a curse, for only your love can…uh…can….”
“Burning darkness,” an enraptured Twilight whispered.
“Can quench the burnin’ darkness of my soul!”
“Then drink,” Twilight exclaimed. “Drink my love and be free for at least a little while.” Applejack leaned her head down and kissed Twilight, pressing her head slowly back against the bale. Her hoof slid to Twilight’s neck, cradling her as she--
SLAM
The barn door flew open and banged against the wall as an enraged Rainbow Dash stormed inside. “SHE BAILED ON ME!!!” Rainbow Dash’s shouts echoed through the barn.
Slipping out of character, Applejack whispered to Twilight, “Beg pardon, sugarcube, but I have to go show Rainbow what my burnin’ darkness looks like.”
Rainbow Dash stormed over to a hay pile and threw herself down on it. “What am I supposed to do now?”
Pointedly, Twilight glanced over at Rainbow Dash and asked, “Do you think you could give us an hour? Or three?”
Oblivious, Rainbow continued. “I had plans tonight! There were going to be sky races and a diner in Cloudsdale whose name I don’t know how to say. But no, she had to throw this stupid birthday party!”
Embarrassed, Twilight looked into Applejack’s eyes and silently pleaded, “I’m sorry.” As Applejack climbed down off the bale, Twilight rolled over to face Rainbow Dash. Setting down the book in her hooves, she asked, “So. Pinkie Pie. She was too busy for a date tonight?”
“Yes!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “She ditched me for to go blow balloons for some colt,” she sneered. “She said birthdays are supposed to be really special. Like I’m not special. She wouldn’t even let me help! I could have made Pipsqueak’s birthday the most awesome thing that ever happened to him!”
“Maybe she--” Twilight began, but she was cut off by Applejack raising a hoof.
Applejack stepped towards the pile of hay Rainbow Dash was reclining on. “Rainbow, ponies got lives. They can’t always drop ‘em when you’re feelin’ restless.”
Bitterly Rainbow Dash whined, “Pinkie’s supposed to be my special somepony.”
Sighing, Applejack shucked off the cloak she’d been wearing and dropped into the hay pile next to Rainbow Dash. “Listen here, Rainbow. Bein’ a special somepony don’t mean her life’s all about you now. Twi and I’ve been together several moons now, but I got responsibilities to the farm and she’s still Princess Celestia’s best and brightest. We still got lives. We just make time for each other, is all.”
“Yours seems to be making a lot of time for you lately,” Rainbow Dash pointed out.
“Do you think I chose to be spending this time here?” Twilight asked. “The Apples have been kind enough to take care of me while my leg’s recovering. As soon as this cast comes off, I’m going home. I’ve been able to keep up with my studying, but I’m going to be weeks behind on practical spellcasting. Princess Celestia sent me a spell on transmuting apples to oranges that I’ve been dying to try out, but I can’t practice in this state.”
Applejack nodded in agreement. “Been sweeter than cider havin’ her, but Twi ain’t fixin’ to stay. You got to appreciate that Pinkie Pie’s got her life to lead too. She ain’t got every day to dedicate to you, especially as hard-workin’ as she is.”
“But I want her with me every day,” Rainbow Dash complained. “What if I asked her to marry me?”
“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight shouted sternly. “You’ve been officially together for a day. That’s far too soon to be thinking about marriage.”
“But then she’d be with me all the time,” Rainbow Dash insisted. “We could live together like the Cakes do. She could quit her job and come live with me in my cloudo. It’d be perfect.”
“Sakes alive,” Applejack muttered to herself. More loudly, she asked, “You really reckon there’s anythin’ in the world would convince Pinkie Pie to quit what she does? That mare loves her work more than I do.”
“No,” Rainbow Dash admitted. “I don’t know. I just miss her. She’s supposed to be with me.”
Twilight took a moment to choose her words carefully. She knew what needed to be said but wasn’t sure how to say it without crossing Rainbow Dash. “Perhaps some time away from her could be a good thing,” she tried.
“What?! How is it a good thing?!”
Hesitantly, Twilight explained, “I’m worried about how quickly you’re becoming attached.”
“That’s crazy,” Rainbow Dash responded defensively. She leapt from the pile she was lying on, asserting, “I’m attached because we’re in love, Twilight. We’re completely in love, we’re going to be happy together, and we didn’t need a stupid research journal to figure that out!”
“HEY!” Applejack shouted, standing up from the hay.
“No, let her speak,” Twilight insisted. She saw Rainbow breathing heavily. Her words came out mean, but Twilight could tell she was on the verge of panic. “It’s okay, Rainbow Dash. Let it out.”
“I…I can’t do this,” Rainbow Dash replied. She fluttered her wings and made for the window at the top of the barn. Then she stopped, looking back at Twilight. “I’m sorry I called your folder stupid. That wasn’t cool.”
Calmly, Twilight answered her, “It’s okay, Rainbow Dash. Whenever you need to talk, I’m ready to listen.”
“Yeah. I need that. Thanks, Egghead.” With those words, Rainbow Dash took off into the night.
With Rainbow Dash gone, Twilight closed the door. She considered locking it, but the mood was already gone. It wasn’t likely to come back. Idly, she asked Applejack, “Do you think she’s going to be okay?”
Applejack laid herself down beside Twilight, wrapping her forehooves around her special somepony. “Don’t reckon I know, sugarcube. She’s in love. Ain’t no more dangerous feelin’ than that.”
“How much simpler this would be.” Twilight sighed. “I’m afraid she’s letting her feelings run away with her.”
“What? She ain’t in love with Pinkie?”
“No, she certainly does seem to be feeling the beginning stages of emotional attachment. That feeling’s taking control of her, though. I’ve read about this. It happens to a lot of mares, especially those of us who date other mares. They move too quickly. The feeling of being in love overpowers any actual feelings they might have for their partner. Within days, they’re moving in together and talking about spending their lives together, but they barely even know each other.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “What? Like some kind of love addiction?”
“Something like that.”
The farmer shrugged. “Don’t see what’s so bad about that. So Rainbow’s movin’ a bit fast. That’s just different strokes for different couples, is all.”
Twilight shook her head. “You don’t understand, Applejack. Those feelings burn out. Once they’re gone, there’s nothing left to sustain the relationship, and those ponies are left trapped in a shared life they don’t understand why they wanted so badly anymore. Then the resentment starts.”
Realizing what Twilight was saying, Applejack swallowed hard. “I think I get it.”
Twilight looked up at the window Rainbow Dash left through. “If she keeps going like this, it won’t just break off her relationship. It could ruin her friendship with Pinkie Pie forever.”
4 - Questions to Answers Unwanted
Three days later, Rainbow Dash met Twilight at what had become their usual table. She slumped into her space and rest her chin grumpily on the table. She was missing her usual energy and there was nothing she could do to hide her bloodshot eyes.
“I’m guessing it’s not going well?” Twilight asked.
“I’ve barely seen Pinkie since she ditched me,” Rainbow grumbled. “I’ve got the weather to take care of and when I’m not working, she always seems to have something going on.” Hesitantly, she looked up and asked, “Do you think she’s avoiding me?”
“I can’t imagine why,” Twilight answered. “We already know that Pinkie has very strong feelings towards you. She’s probably just busy.”
“For three days?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Have you ever been to Sweet Apple Acres during harvest? Trust me, it happens.”
“Yeah. I’m sure a town this size must have so many birthdays less than a week from each other.”
“Pinkie doesn’t just do birthday parties,” Twilight explained. “She’s also responsible for cute-ceañeras, summer blockbusters, school dances, wedding receptions--”
“I get it,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “She does a bunch of stuff and makes everypony happy. Everypony except me.”
Sternly, Twilight stated, “Being together is a partnership, Rainbow Dash. It means supporting each other and helping each other. It means caring about what your partner is thinking and feeling.”
“I’m trying!” Rainbow Dash insisted.
“What is Pinkie doing tomorrow?”
“How should I know?!”
“Have you asked her?”
“I’ve barely seen her!”
“But you have seen her.”
Defensively, Rainbow Dash answered, “Yes, a couple of times. Mostly she just said she was busy.”
“Did you ask what she’s doing?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I kinda figured we’d catch up later. But then later didn’t come.”
Twilight sighed. “Rainbow Dash, if not knowing what’s going on with her is bothering you, then you need to be asking her about it. You should be talking to her about her life anyways. You’re sure to learn things you need to know if you’re going to be a good special somepony.”
“Yeah, but that feels weird,” Rainbow Dash admitted. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Hi, Pinkie, I’m suddenly very interested in the number of sales you made today.’”
“Yes,” Twilight answered bluntly.
Rainbow Dash protested, “But I’m not interested in candy sales!”
“Doesn’t matter. Do you know how much I’ve learned about tilling soil, contrasting leaf colors, and checking soil samples since Applejack and I got together?”
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “You really don’t seem like the farming type.”
“I’m not.” Twilight looked Rainbow Dash in the eyes, making sure she could see her sincerity. “But I love Applejack, and talking about the things she loves makes her happy. And that makes me happy. That’s what you should be trying to do with Pinkie. Just give it a shot. I promise, you won’t regret it.”
“I’ll try it,” Rainbow Dash surrendered. “No promises, though.”
Passing through the door to Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow Dash spotted Mrs. Cake operating the register. “Hey, Mrs. Cake. Is Pinkie Pie here?”
“Oh, didn’t you know?” Mrs. Cake closed the cash register and gave Rainbow Dash her attention. “Pinkie’s been in Canterlot since yesterday. Princess Celestia asked her to help with the hosting for some manner of convention. I think it was something about comic books?”
“Wait, she went to Canterlot and didn’t tell me?”
“So it seems,” Mrs. Cake answered. “You’re welcome to stay if you’d like, but please try not to wake the twins. Getting them both to fall asleep at the same time is quite the…Rainbow Dash?”
Without another word, Rainbow Dash stormed out of Sugarcube Corner and took off into the sky. Canterlot wasn’t very far from Ponyville. The town rested largely in the city’s shadow. Not quite under it, but a short enough journey by the beating of wings even for pegasi who weren’t Rainbow Dash.
She didn’t know what she was going to say or do when she found Pinkie. She had no plans in her mind at all. She just knew she was angry, hurt, and hungry for Pinkie all at once. She wanted to be near her but she was also burning with outrage at the way she’d been snubbed. She wanted to lash out, but also to embrace her. Most importantly, she just wanted Pinkie to be with her now.
From the skies over Canterlot, it wasn’t hard to find the convention. Rainbow Dash scanned the ground with her eyes until she started seeing crowds of ponies moving in a general direction. Following their course, she soon saw a cone of confetti burst into the sky over a large park. “Pinkie,” she said to herself.
She flew over stands filled with memorabilia. There were ponies dressed in all manner of strange outfits. She saw several ponies walking through the park wearing colorful skintight suits. There was a light blue unicorn wearing an ill-fitting pair of glasses and what looked like a wizard’s robe. A nervous yellow pegasus glanced around at the stands, her pink mane teased into buns by her ears and the long hair coming down from her neck split into a pair of tails trailing down. A pair of earth pony colts wearing brown robes happily raced down an aisle, carrying plastic swords with glowing blades in their mouths.
Rainbow Dash spotted a few Daring Do costumes and felt relief at finally recognizing something. She took a small comfort in the fact that it wasn’t all weird nerd stuff and resumed searching for Pinkie. She’d probably be over by the--
Wait, was that…?
“Fluttershy?!” Rainbow Dash dropped from the sky, flaring her wings as she approached the ground and angling her descent. She swooped over her friend, slowing her approach into a hover as she arrived. “You’re here?!”
“Oh, hi,” Fluttershy greeted her. “I didn’t know you were into graphic novels.”
“What, you mean all this nerd junk? I’m not. Have you seen Pinkie anywhere?”
“Oh, she’s very busy,” Fluttershy answered. “She set up a play area for the foals and Princess Celestia has been having her announce the panels. She’s very good at getting everypony’s attention. Tomorrow, it’s all supposed to end in a huge bash, celebrating thirty years of Power Ponies.”
“Okay, fine, but where is she now?” Rainbow Dash folded her forehooves impatiently.
“I’m afraid I don’t know.” Fluttershy glanced around the park, but the stands made it difficult to see over the imposing crowds. “The last time I saw her, she was announcing the panel for Dragonfly had opened up. The publishers messed up the books, but they’ve released several comics since. It’s an amazing story about--”
“Yeah, that’s great,” Rainbow Dash cut her off. “So there’s no way to find her?”
Fluttershy thought for a moment. “I suppose you could wait until the next panel begins. She’s probably working on tomorrow’s celebration right now, but she comes out for those. She fires off her party cannon to get everypony’s attention. It’s very effective.”
“I guess I don’t have a choice.” Grumpily, Rainbow Dash lowered herself to the ground. “What are you even doing here, Fluttershy? I figured you wouldn’t be caught dead around so many other ponies.”
“It can be a little scary,” Fluttershy admitted, “but it’s the best place to find new graphic novels from Yokinawa.”
“Where?”
“Oh, they’re not in Equestria.” Seeing an opening in the crowd, she started walking. Rainbow Dash kept pace beside her. “There’s a publishing company in Manehattan that buys the rights to import and translate their graphic novels for us. I have a few series I like to pick up, but they sometimes unveil new ones here at Three C’s.”
“Three C’s?”
“Canterlot Comic-Con!”
“Okay, I really don’t know how much more nerd stuff I can take,” Rainbow Dash insisted. “I’m surprised Twilight isn’t here geeking out with you.”
“I don’t think she likes graphic novels very much,” Fluttershy admitted. “We tried to invite her, but she wasn’t very interested.”
Rainbow Dash perked up. “Wait, who’s ‘we’?”
As if to answer her question, a voice called out from behind her. “Hey, Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow Dash turned around to see Spike running down one of the aisles to greet her, followed stoically by Big Macintosh. “I didn’t know you liked comics!”
Defensively, Rainbow Dash shouted, “I don’t! I’m just here for--Big Mac?! You’re into all this nerd stuff?”
“Eeyup.” Behind a large, white domino mask, Big Macintosh grinned. He was dressed in a black suit with a rose held delicately in a breast pocket. His suit jacket lay open, revealing a white vest underneath with a white bowtie. Atop his head sat a top hat, completing his ensemble. Grinning, he leaned his head down and plucked the rose with his teeth, then turned sideways and posed.
Looking up at Rainbow Dash, Spike asked, “Are you crying?”
“No!” Rainbow Dash dabbed at her eye with the side of her hoof. “It’s just so terrible.”
“I think his costume looks amazing,” Fluttershy complimented.
Rainbow Dash fluttered back up into the air, remarking, “Okay, this is about three miles past too nerdy for me. Have fun, I’m going to find--” Out of the corner of her eye, she caught something. One of the vendor stands had a cardboard cutout of her hero propped up in front of it.
Interrupting herself, she asked, “Are those Daring Do comics?”
“Oh, yeah,” Spike answered her. “They have comics for everything.”
Transfixed, Rainbow Dash floated towards the vendor stand. Her eyes darted across the stand. Daring Do Versus the Pearl Pegasus . Daring Do and the Mysterious Sea Ponies . The Unbeatable Daring Do #15 .
“Ooh, this is a good one,” Spike said, coming up beside her. He’d picked up one of the comics and showed it to Rainbow Dash. “They did a crossover with PC Comics. Daring Do teams up with Mistress Mare-velous to take down the sinister alliance of Dr. Caballeron and the Sonic Whinny.”
Behind the stand, a yellow earth pony with a cutie mark shaped like a book cleared her throat. “Can I help you find something?”
Answering quickly, Rainbow Dash said, “I want all of them. Everything. How much is everything?”
“Well, they’re two bits per issue….”
“I will be right back!” Rainbow Dash vanished into the sky, leaving a rainbow trail behind her.
It took the better part of an hour to return, but Rainbow Dash found herself standing in front of the vendor stand once more, saddlebags straddling her back. After laying her bits out on the table, Rainbow Dash drooped. “I don’t think I have enough for all of them.”
With a smile, the vendor told her, “We have a store here in Canterlot. It’s just two blocks from the train station. You’re welcome to come by any time to pick up what you can’t afford today. If we’re out of stock, we can always special order for you.”
“Okay, then today I should be able to get….ten, no, twelve comics!”
“Thirteen,” corrected Fluttershy, laying two bits on the table next to Rainbow Dash’s.
Spike bumped Big Mac in his foreleg. “I think we can make that fifteen. What do you think, big guy?”
“Eeyup.”
As they added their bits to Rainbow Dash’s pile, she felt herself flooding with a warm feeling. It was a sense of satisfaction growing in her heart that she hadn’t felt since she shared that hug with Twilight during the Crystal Ball. She felt accepted and, more importantly, loved.
“Thanks, everypony,” she told her friends.
“Don’t worry about it,” Spike answered her. “Welcome to the Nerd Herd.”
“Don’t push it.” Rainbow Dash picked out the comics that looked the most interesting to her and loaded them into her saddlebags. She’d almost forgotten the reason she came when the thunderous explosion of Pinkie Pie’s party cannon caught her ears.
“HIIIIIII EVERYPONY!!!” Pinkie greeted the teeming crowd of ponies from her place atop a large, wooden stage. Six other ponies flanked her as she addressed the audience. “I wanted to let you all know that I’m opening a second play space over in the east field, just past the “Adventures of Grontle the Minotaur” stand. Bring the colts and fillies or just come over yourself if you need a fun way to relax during your busy day!”
With her announcement finished, Pinkie stepped back while the others stepped forward. She felt terribly out of place here, but she was looking forward to tomorrow’s party. After all the work she’d put into it, she was sure it was going to be one of the biggest and best she’d ever thrown.
Hopping down off the stage, Pinkie spotted her friends trotting over towards her. Cheerfully, she approached and greeted them, “Hi, Flutter--”
“Pinkie! There you are!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
“Oh, hi, Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie smiled sweetly. “I didn’t know you were into comics.”
“I’m not,” Rainbow Dash insisted. “Come on, let’s get out of here. There are way better things we can be doing than hanging out here.”
“Wait, what?” Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “I can’t just leave, you silly billy. I’ve worked on this all week! Tomorrow we’re having a big celebration and there’s going to be a cake shaped like--”
“Uh-huh, cool. But do we really need to stay for the whole thing?”
“You don’t have to,” Pinkie insisted. “If you don’t like it, go do something fun. We’re in Canterlot! There’s probably a…um….” She thought for a moment, but all that came to mind were snobby unicorns being posh and wearing monocles. “We’re not too far from Ponyville?” she offered weakly.
“What, you’re asking me to leave?”
“Nonono! I just don’t want you feeling like you have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
In the midst of the argument, Fluttershy whispered to Spike, “Am I missing something?”
“You got me,” Spike responded.
“Look,” Rainbow Dash insisted, “I came here to spend time with you. That’s what I’m going to do. Okay?”
“And then she sat there with a big grumpy face for the whole event! The whole event!” Pinkie exclaimed. Two days had passed since Rainbow Dash’s unexpected arrival in Canterlot. As soon as she’d found a moment’s peace, she’d come straight to Rarity. She sat comfortably on the fainting couch as her friend listened to her tale.
“That sounds positively dreadful,” Rarity commiserated. “However did you manage?”
Looking Rarity straight in the eyes, Pinkie grumbled, “That wasn’t even the worst part.”
With the second night of the convention behind her, Pinkie Pie retired to her guest room in the Canterlot royal palace. Rainbow Dash followed her, still as grumpy as she’d been before. There was something uncomfortable in her mood, but Pinkie couldn’t for the life of her place what. She just knew that Rainbow Dash had spent the day somehow resisting her best attempts at cheer.
She wanted to talk about the day she’d had, but Rainbow Dash’s sour expression made it impossible to find the words. Instead, she settled on, “Would you like to stay with me tonight?”
The offer seemed to work as Rainbow Dash perked up instantly. “You mean you want to--”
Realizing immediately what Rainbow Dash thought she was offering, Pinkie corrected herself. “Not like that,” she added hastily. “I can’t. Not tonight, Dashie. I just thought you might like to stay here since you don’t have a room.”
“Oh.” The dourness returned to Rainbow Dash’s face, much to Pinkie’s sorrow. “Yeah, sure.”
Pinkie bit down on the knob, turning it and pushing the door open. Rainbow Dash followed her inside and immediately shucked off her saddlebags, plopping down on the bed. It was a large enough bed; Pinkie felt confident that it wouldn’t be too weird.
Just like a sleepover.
Pinkie climbed up onto the bed next to Rainbow Dash, whose back was turned to her. That same cold atmosphere greeted her. She hated that feeling. It was everything she dedicated her life to stamping out. Hostility. Discontent. Sadness. The gross, scornful emotions she crusaded against had somehow followed her home.
She couldn’t imagine how she could inspire so much despair. Was she truly so horrible?
“You don’t have to come tomorrow,” she offered. “I’m going to be busy all day setting up the party, but maybe the day after, I could come find you and we could do something fun together?”
“It’s fine,” Rainbow Dash insisted. “Apology accepted or whatever.”
Pinkie blinked. “Wait, that wasn’t an apology.”
Suddenly, Rainbow Dash perked up again. Giving no sign that she’d heard Pinkie, she rolled over and suggested with a wry grin, “If you really want to make it up to me, we could--”
Knowing exactly where she was going with that, Pinkie scowled. “I said no, Dashie.”
Dumping herself back where she’d lain, Rainbow Dash replied, “Fine. Sooner we get tomorrow over and done with, the better.”
Rarity was taken aback. “She did not!”
“She did,” Pinkie confirmed. “She actually thought I was going to sleep with her because she didn’t like the convention. I don’t know what’s gotten into her. She’s not acting like the Dashie I know.” Pinkie pouted. “I want my friend back.”
With a sigh, Rarity stated, “This has gotten entirely out of control. Something must be done about this.”
Pinkie nodded. “I just don’t know what. I don’t want to hurt her.”
Rarity reached a hoof over and gently strokes Pinkie’s mane. “I know, darling, but sometimes you must. A small hurt is sometimes necessary to avoid a larger one down the road. It’s never easy, but if we can nip this in the bud now, there may still be time to salvage your friendship.”
“That’s all I want,” Pinkie agreed, letting out a small sob.
Arriving at the boutique, Rainbow Dash found the door open and waiting for her. She stepped inside slowly, looking around. She saw Pinkie seated on Rarity’s fainting couch and looking half-deflated. Rarity sat on her haunches beside it. Both had their eyes fixed straight on her.
“Come in,” Rarity said somberly. Her horn glowed as she closed the door behind Rainbow Dash.
“We need to talk,” Pinkie said somberly.
“Okay?” Rainbow Dash stepped forward and sat before the two of them, shooting looks between them. “What’s going on?”
Pinkie shot a nervous look at Rarity, who placed a comforting hoof on her side. Looking back to Rainbow Dash, she explained, “I think we need to talk about our friendship.”
“What about it?”
Pinkie turned her eyes back to Rarity, pleading silently for help. Rarity sighed and explained, “She is trying to tell you that you aren’t a couple.”
“What, this again?” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “We had--”
“And no, having sex does not make you a couple. There is more to a working relationship than just sex.”
“That can’t be what she means,” Rainbow Dash insisted. A feeling of dread began to grow in the pit of her stomach. “Pinkie and I are--”
“She’s right,” Pinkie insisted. “You’re one of my best friends--”
“I’m more than that!” Rainbow Dash insisted. “Pinkie, I love you.”
“I love you too,” Pinkie told her. “It’s just not the right kind of love.”
“What’s that supposed to--”
Before Rainbow Dash could finish getting defensive, Rarity stepped in between the two. “I believe what Pinkie is trying to say is that she doesn’t feel a romantic love towards you.” She shot a glance at Pinkie who nodded affirmatively to her. “You are a dear friend to her.”
Rainbow Dash took a step back, trying to fend of feelings of panic. She looked straight at Pinkie, asking, “Are you breaking up with me?”
Lost for an answer, Pinkie Pie tried to shrink deeper into the couch. Her pleading eyes glanced to Rarity, who promptly shook her head.
“I can’t answer this for you, darling.”
“I don’t know,” Pinkie squeaked.
“Why don’t you know?” Rainbow Dash took a couple steps towards the couch. “This isn’t hard, Pinkie. Do you want to be my Very Special Somepony or not?”
“I don’t want to be a Very Special Somepony,” Pinkie insisted. “Why can’t I just play with my friends and have fun? Is that so awful?”
Rainbow Dash’s breathing quickened. She stepped forward, frantically insisting, “Pinkie, I love you. I love you! That means something!”
“Does it?” Rarity asked curiously. “It seems strange to me, Rainbow Dash. It’s hardly been over a week since you said you had no special feelings for Pinkie. You seem to be moving terribly fast.”
“Maybe I’m just like that,” Rainbow Dash answered her. “I don’t waste time. What’s wrong with that?”
“That you’re scaring me,” Pinkie answered.
Rarity stepped towards Rainbow Dash. “I believe that you’re attracted to her, Rainbow Dash, but love sounds too strong. I worry that you might be rushing into things.”
“I’m not!” Rainbow Dash insisted. “I know what I’m doing.”
“Then prove it.” Both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie stopped to look at Rarity, uncertain of where she was going with this. She continued, “I would like you to take some time away from Pinkie. Cool off. Get your head turned around. Reconnect with the activities you enjoy in your life. Do anything other than pine over her.”
“Oooh, that’s a good idea,” Pinkie agreed. “Maybe you could try being with some other ponies while you’re at it.”
Rainbow Dash recoiled in horror at the suggestion. “You’re asking me to cheat on you?”
Rarity interjected, “Not every relationship is identical, Rainbow Dash. The only rules are the ones two lovers lay out between themselves. Even if Pinkie had agreed to be your special somepony, which I remind you she has not, it is not cheating if you have permission ahead of time.”
“You have permission!” Pinkie exclaimed. “You have SO MUCH permission. Like, if permission was a cupcake, you would have so many cupcakes that you’d balloon up to the size of a house! And then we’d have to load you into a catapult and shoot you at the clouds. …that actually sounds kind of fun.”
Rainbow Dash blinked in confusion at Pinkie’s thought train. “Right,” she hesitantly agreed. “Permission cupcakes.” The rising panic had faded inside of her, replaced by a dull ache in her heart. Every passing moment of this conversation made it more and more clear that Pinkie wanted to go along with Rarity’s abhorrent plan. She hated the sound of it, but it was still better than the break-up she thought Pinkie wanted earlier. “How long do I have to do this?” she asked.
Rarity looked at Pinkie, giving her the chance to speak, but Pinkie subtly shook her head. Taking a moment to collect her thoughts, she answered, “I believe one moon should be sufficient. One moon, no interaction with Pinkie Pie unless the rest of us are there. At the end of that period, you can see if you still feel as strongly about her as you do right now.”
Rainbow Dash desperately didn’t want to be doing this, but as she watched Pinkie nod in agreement with Rarity’s suggestion, she didn’t see another way out. “A whole moon?” she asked.
“Please,” Pinkie pleaded with her. “We can have a ‘Congratulations, Dashie Made It’ party at the end. Whether you still want to be with me or not, you’ll get a party, okay?”
Pinkie’s parties were definitely the best around. There was no question about that in Rainbow Dash’s mind. “Fine,” she grumbled. “I guess I’ll see you in a moon, Pinkie.”
On the first day without Pinkie, Rainbow Dash refused to leave her bed except to fill Tank’s food dish. She was distantly grateful when he landed on the mattress to keep her company and wrapped her forelegs around him, squeezing him close. She’d never admit to anypony how much she cried that day. It was a secret for Tank’s eyes only.
She might have had a conversation with another weather pegasus, come to check on her when she didn’t show up for cloudbusting. Or it might have been her day off. The whole day felt like a blur to her and she wasn’t really sure what had gone on around her as she lay miserably in her bed.
On the second day, she was angry. She alternated between lying in bed crying dry tears and storming about her cloudominium, ranting about Pinkie. It was all Pinkie’s fault for starting this in the first place. It was her fault for not understanding Rainbow Dash’s feelings. It was her fault for teasing her, for leading her on, for manipulating her.
Then it was Rarity’s fault. It was Rarity’s fault for getting in the way. It was Rarity who interrupted this great thing she and Pinkie had going. Rarity who coerced Pinkie into this awful idea. And what about Twilight? Twilight had been nothing but a fountain of bad advice since this all started. It was Twilight’s fault for being so unhelpful. Twilight’s fault for making her look foolish.
On the third day, it was Rainbow Dash’s fault. She held her beloved pet turtle and cried into his shell. “I screwed up,” she admitted only to the empty room and her greatest confidante. She’d been mean. She’d pushed too hard. She’d barely listened to Pinkie at all and now here she was with an empty bed and a broken heart to show for it.
On the fourth day, she went outside for the first time. She stayed in the air and followed the other weather pegasi, arranging the weather patterns where they were needed. She never spoke to any of them, nor did she greet the friends she occasionally saw below. When she noticed Pinkie pass by, she felt a pang of hurt deep inside of her. She wanted to call out to her, but she’d agreed not to, and so she finished out the longest work day of her life and went home.
On the sixth day, she came home after her work and opened her saddlebags for the first time. The comics she’d bought at the convention were still inside, and seeing them reminded her of how she had felt when her friends had stepped up to help her buy them. She picked out the one that Spike had suggested and opened it.
Despite the pain inside her, she found herself chuckling along at the adventures of her hero contained within. She cheered for Daring Do as she faced off with her nemesis. By the end of the comic, she was hooked. She wanted more, so she picked out the next comic and read that one next. When she’d read them all, she went back and read them again with a satisfied smile on her face.
On the seventh day, she had a visitor. Answering a gentle knock at her door, she was greeted by the sight of her friend Fluttershy. “I’m sorry to bother you,” she said, “but I wanted to see if you’re okay. Rarity said we should give you time to process your feelings and let you come to us when you’re ready, but she wouldn’t say what it was about.”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Rainbow Dash lied. “Just going through some stuff. You want to come in?”
She spent the day chatting with Fluttershy like she used to before Pinkie, and in that time she even managed to forget how much she was hurting. She also noticed for the first time that the way Fluttershy’s mane curled around her ear was actually very cute. Had Fluttershy always been this pretty? She wasn’t sure.
On the ninth day, she visited Twilight and Applejack. “I’m not gonna go easy on you just ‘cause you’re all gimpy,” she teased Twilight. She wasn’t sure what had compelled the bookworm to join in the friendly game of basketball with them, especially in her condition, but the knowing grin on Applejack’s face made her uneasy.
To Rainbow Dash’s surprise, Twilight seemed to have become quite adept at moving her wheelchair through magic in the past weeks. As Rainbow Dash moved to steal the ball from Applejack, Twilight swept it up from between the both of them.
Rainbow Dash untangled herself from Applejack and leapt to block Twilight’s shot, but the shot went wild and never approached the basket. The gloat was already fresh on her tongue when she saw the ball hit a tree branch, ricochet upwards, pass over the backboard, and land perfectly in the basket. Happily, Twilight congratulated herself, “Four points!”
Applejack gave her an affectionate peck on the nose. “That’s a two-point shot, sugar, and you know that.” The unicorn’s giggle betrayed her; Rainbow Dash was sure she’d probably memorized a rulebook.
“That was luck,” Rainbow Dash insisted.
Twilight shook her head. “It’s math. There are many versions of the game, but they all operate on the same principles: use precisely calculated trajectories to put a ball into a target zone. The math is easy. The hard part is the throw.”
“I may have created a monster,” Applejack whispered to Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash watched Twilight wipe her brow and roll herself over to the ball. Despite her own injury, she was still living her life. She was brilliant in ways Rainbow Dash couldn’t fully understand and she kept going, no matter what happened to her. She was easy to underestimate, but she was much stronger than Rainbow Dash thought nerds were supposed to be.
And she was pretty. Much like Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash had found her eyes exploring Twilight at awkward moments throughout the day. She’d pushed it to the back of her mind, but now here it was again.
“I think I finally get what you see in her,” Rainbow Dash whispered back.
On the eleventh day, Rainbow Dash was hard at work busting clouds when her vision was suddenly filled with a blue mane and black hide. “Hey!” she shouted. “Watch where you’re going, Thunderlane!”
“Sorry, Rainbow Dash!” Thunderlane responded as he shoved the cloud she’d been targeting eastwards.
Rainbow Dash grumbled to herself and beat her wings to gain altitude for another dive, but her eyes kept drawing back towards Thunderlane. He was a dolt at times, but she had to admit that there was something to the curves of his wings she hadn’t quite seen before.
On the thirteenth day, Rainbow Dash met Twilight at the Hay Burger. She’d thought a lot about something Pinkie and Rarity had said to her, but it still just didn’t feel right.
“You haven’t asked to meet in a while. Have there been new developments?” Twilight asked curiously.
“More like an old one I can’t get past,” Rainbow Dash admitted. “Pinkie asked me to give her space a couple weeks ago. We set a time, but there’s something that’s bugging me.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” Twilight commiserated. “Did she break up with you, or does she just need some time to herself?”
“I’m not really sure.” Rainbow Dash sighed. “She said we’ll talk about it when the time comes.”
“That’s hopeful,” Twilight offered. “Then again, she might just have been letting you down easily. Pinkie Pie’s pretty soft. She may not have had it in her to just break up with you like that.”
“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash looked down at her burger, her appetite rapidly fading. “She told me that I should try knocking hooves with other ponies, too. But I don’t understand that. Rarity agreed, but isn’t that cheating?”
Twilight raised an eyebrow at the question. “Of course it’s not cheating. Don’t be ridiculous, Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow Dash perked up. “It’s not?”
“I do it all the time. I knock hooves with Cadance every time we see each other. Why would Applejack be bothered by that?”
Rainbow Dash stared at Twilight for several seconds. “Your brother doesn’t mind?”
Twilight shrugged. “I tried to get him to knock hooves with me once, but he wasn’t very good at it. It’s really just my and Cadance’s thing.”
For a few more seconds, Rainbow Dash struggled to make sense of the words pouring out of Twilight’s mouth. Then they clicked and, to the unicorn’s confusion, she burst out laughing, falling over to the ground in the process.
“What?” Twilight asked. “What is so funny?”
Pulling herself back up to the table, Rainbow Dash told her, “It means sex, Twilight. Knocking hooves means having sex.”
“Oh,” Twilight answered, blushing from mild embarrassment and glancing away from the conversation. Then the reality of what she’d just said dawned on her and she blushed furiously. “Oh! I-I-I don’t…with Cadance and…and Shining Armor! I….”
Still laughing, Rainbow Dash told her, “One of these days, I am buying you a book on sexy phrases and no, you are never living this down.”
Grimacing, Rainbow Dash looked away while Twilight gulped down half of her burger. She knew she’d never get used to that. When her mouth was free and Rainbow Dash had suitable time to quit laughing at her, Twilight explained, “Well, doing…that…with another pony is absolutely cheating. That’s only the case if Pinkie intends to be in a relationship with you when all of this is done, however. If she’s telling you that she wants to be with other ponies, then--”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No, she’s saying that I should be with other ponies.”
“They’re the same thing. What she’s saying is that she doesn’t want to be connected to you romantically. That was probably just her way of telling you she wants to just be friends. It’s over, Rainbow Dash. I’m sorry.”
On the fourteenth day, Rainbow Dash stayed inside with Tank and cried again. She’d been pretty sure that was what Pinkie meant, but hearing Twilight confirm it made it hurt all over again. Pinkie didn’t love her, she didn’t want to be with her, and that was the end of it. She was alone. She’d been alone before, but it hadn’t hurt like this. Before, she just wasn’t with anypony, but now she felt truly alone.
It was just twenty-three days into Rainbow Dash’s exile from Pinkie’s life when everypony gathered outside Ponyville General. It was finally time to remove Twilight’s cast. Rainbow Dash met Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie as they waited for Twilight and Applejack to come out.
Pinkie Pie bounced in circles, still as full of boundless energy as ever. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” she cried out in excitement. “I’m throwing Twilight the biggest, boldest, most exciting ‘Congratulations on Not Being Crippled by Your Awful Choices Anymore’ party EVER!”
“That sounds great,” Rainbow Dash agreed awkwardly. She hovered by Rarity and Fluttershy and was trying to avoid spending too much time looking at Pinkie Pie. “Uh…what do you two think? Doesn’t that sound great?”
“Are you okay, Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy asked curiously.
“Never been better!” Rainbow Dash lied. “I’m fine, everything’s fine, why wouldn’t things be fine, how are you?”
Fluttershy watched Rainbow Dash skeptically for a few seconds, then dropped the thought. “I’m okay. I hope Twilight’s procedure goes smoothly. I’d hate for her to be stuck in that wheelchair any longer than she has to.”
“I agree,” Rarity spoke up. “And I for one think the party sounds like a lovely idea, but let’s make certain Twilight’s leg has healed before we get ahead of ourselves.”
As if on cue, Applejack emerged from the hospital. She passed around the front door and held it open with a hoof. The group stepped closer to the doors, watching Twilight take tentative steps out into the bright midday sun.
“Thank you,” Twilight said to Applejack before greeting her friends. “Hello, everypony.”
“You’re all better!” Pinkie shouted. “That means the party can go on!”
Letting the door close, Applejack clarified. “Doc said she’s to go easy on the leg. No runnin’, keep off it when she can, and no dancin’.”
“I make no promises on that last one,” Twilight responded. “I spent the entire Crystal Ball in a chair. My hooves are aching.”
Pinkie had rushed on ahead to set up the party while the rest of the ponies congratulated Twilight on her recovery and spread well wishes. After a group dinner at the Café Hay, Rainbow Dash and her friends drifted over towards Sugarcube Corner to see what Pinkie had managed to assemble. It did not take long for Rainbow Dash to find herself engrossed in bitter argument.
“It’s not the same, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight insisted. “It might feel similar at times, but it isn’t real. It’s the illusion of substance.”
“Who decides what’s real?” Rainbow Dash argued back. “What, is there some immortal arbiter of what we’re allowed to like now?”
“No, but I happen to think there should be some standards when--”
“What, for enjoying things?” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Have you even given it a chance?”
“I’ve….” Twilight hesitated a moment before answering, undecided as to how honest she wanted to be right now. “I’ve thought about it,” she settled on. “It’s crossed my mind a couple of times, but I just don’t think I’d like it very much. The very idea seems hollow to me, and I’d rather not waste my time on something I’m not going to enjoy.”
“Twilight, you have to give it a shot. You’ll never know if you like it otherwise. You don’t want to be missing out, do you?”
“I…Applejack, help?” She shot a panicked look over at her partner, walking with Fluttershy and Rarity.
“Ain’t none of my business,” the farm pony answered. “This is between y’all.”
“Look,” Rainbow Dash offered, “How about I come over to the library in a couple days and we’ll try going through it together. It’ll be new for me too.”
More sternly, Twilight insisted, “I appreciate the offer but I just don’t think I’d be very interested in the Daring Do comics. What if my mental image of Daring Do conflicts with what the illustrator decided on? And how can they possibly fit a satisfactory Daring Do adventure into so few pages?”
“That’s why there’s multiple issues,” Rainbow Dash explained. “Some arcs take up multiple comics. And I have no idea what you’re on about with ‘artist’s renditions’. You know each book has a cover, right? Daring Do is right there on the cover of each one.”
“But that’s just the cover,” Twilight explained. “There’s nothing that says Daring Do has to look like that. Based solely on the descriptions of her that we’ve seen, she’s a pegasus with a nice hat and a lasso. If I want her to have an orange hide and a long, flowing blonde mane tied up in a ponytail, nothing precludes me from imagining her that way.”
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “You just described Applejack with wings.”
“It’s my imagination,” Twilight insisted. “I can picture her how I want to. You can’t do that with comics. Plus, they aren’t even written by A.K. Yearling so I doubt they’re actually canon. They’re licensed.” Her voice hung on that last word, dripping venom as though she were describing some rotting horror emerging from the ground.
“Who cares if they’re canon?” Rainbow Dash asked. “They’re fun stories and Daring Do gets to be awesome in them. What’s not to like?”
“If they aren’t canon, then nothing that happens in them actually matters. They might as well be fanfiction.”
Defensively, Rainbow Dash asked, “What’s wrong with fanfiction?!”
Twilight recoiled in horror at the question. Diplomatically, she answered, “I just don’t like reading stories that weren’t written by actual authors.”
“Who says what counts as an ‘author’?! Just because your name isn’t on a book somewhere, that doesn’t make you not a writer!” Rainbow Dash thought back for a moment. “Didn’t you once tell me that Ghost Writer helped out with some of the Daring Do books? Why’s that okay but fanfiction isn’t?”
Twilight released a sigh of frustration. “That’s different. Some books wind up being collaboration projects between multiple authors, but even in those instances, the author still reviews and signs off on the work that’s being released in her name.”
“So, just like she does with the comics, then?”
Twilight opened her mouth to answer, but nothing was coming to her. After a couple of seconds she closed it and considered what Rainbow Dash had just said. Behind her, Applejack whispered to Rarity, “Did Rainbow just beat Twilight in a nerd-off?”
“No,” Twilight answered grumpily. “I just need time to formulate my response.”
“Hearin’s sharp as ever, sugarcube!” Applejack called back, grinning innocently.
The group rounded a corner to Sugarcube Corner, whereupon Twilight abruptly stopped in front of the store and stared at the large banner hanging in front of it. “She did not seriously name it that.”
Rarity stepped forward and put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “She means well, darling.”
Once the party began to wind down, Rainbow Dash excused herself to get some fresh air. Sitting at the top of the candy store’s front steps, she stared up at the moon, making its ascent from the horizon.
“Hi, Dashie,” came the familiar high-pitched voice of Pinkie Pie behind her. “Can I sit down?”
Awkwardly, Rainbow Dash shuffled sideways, trying not to look directly at her. “Sure,” she answered uncertainly. “What’s up?”
“I know it hasn’t been a moon yet,” Pinkie told her as she took a seat beside her, closer than Rainbow Dash had anticipated. “But avoiding you feels icky and I hate doing it. You’re my friend and I want to spend time with you. I just need you to not be all weird about it.”
“I’m not trying to be weird,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. I just know I like you. Of course I like you. We wouldn’t be friends otherwise. And then that night happened and it all changed.”
Pinkie Pie nodded, following Rainbow Dash’s gaze up to the moon. “I’m sorry I took away your special first time, Dashie. I wouldn’t have done it if I knew.”
After the emotional roller coaster that these last few weeks had been, Rainbow Dash thought she finally understood why Pinkie was apologizing. “It happens,” she answered. “I’m trying to get over it. Rarity said some time away from you would be good and y’know, I think she was right. I feel like I lost myself somewhere. I got so crazy trying to be with you that I kind of forgot how to be me.”
“Don’t ever stop being Dashie!” Pinkie cried. “You have to be Dashie, because if you aren’t, then somepony else has to be Dashie!” She leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, “I don’t think Fluttershy’s up to it.”
Despite herself, Rainbow Dash chuckled. She turned her head to look at Pinkie for the first time since the conversation began. Yep. Still as pretty as she’d first noticed, the morning after. Pinkie’s mouth stretched into a wide smile, prompting Rainbow Dash to look down and shake her head.
“I’m glad you found Dashie,” Pinkie told her. She took a deep breath, then confessed, “I’ve missed you a lot and I’m really glad you’ve been doing so good. I want to offer you something for making all this progress but I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I don’t want to hurt you, and it wouldn’t mean anything special. It’d just be something nice for being my friend.”
“I….” Rainbow Dash was lost for an answer. She felt her heart rate beginning to pick up. In the back of her mind, a now familiar urge was beginning to stir. She knew what Pinkie was talking about and she wanted it. Desperately.
“And you have to promise that you’re not going to get pushy about it. I’ve been really patient with you and maybe I shouldn’t have. I want to be able to do nice things for you without having to feel like it’s hurting our friendship to do them.”
Rainbow Dash thought about what Pinkie was saying to her. “You know you don’t have to, right? I want to, but we’re still friends even if you don’t.”
“Pfft,” came Pinkie’s answer. “Of course I know that, silly billy. I do it because I want to.”
Something about that answer didn’t settle right in Rainbow Dash’s mind. “Okay,” she replied tentatively. “I mean, it does feel pretty nice,” she offered, probing for Pinkie to say more.
“Well, yeah, there’s that, I suppose,” Pinkie answered, but was not forthcoming with anything more.
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak, but the words just weren’t coming. Closing it, she rearranged her thoughts, then told her friend, “Okay, Pinkie. I promise not to be pushy.” She accepted Pinkie’s offer, but something still didn’t feel right. Her mind raced with unanswered questions.
Why do you do this? You don’t want to be special someponies. You’re not in love with me. You outright said I should find other partners. Are you just really attracted to me? I don’t understand. I know why I say yes, but why do you keep offering? What are you getting out of this?
Those questions weighed heavily on her as the party fizzled out. They were still on her mind as she waited in Pinkie’s room, having slipped upstairs to avoid anypony’s notice, and let Pinkie say her goodbyes to the ponies downstairs. They were still with her when Pinkie arrived in the bedroom.
But they were gone with the closing of the door. Her concerns were left on the floor by the bedside, and before long Rainbow Dash found herself adrift in the ocean of Pinkie’s sweet embrace and her candy-flavored kiss.
5 - Answers are Overrated
“So that’s it?” Twilight asked. “It’s really over?” Weeks had passed since her recovery, and not once had Rainbow Dash asked to meet with her. Eventually, she decided to request a meeting herself, if only to confirm the bitter truth she’d been suspecting.
Rainbow Dash shrugged. Taking a bite from her Hay Burger, she answered, “It’s really over.” She chewed and swallowed her bite before continuing. “We figured we’re better off as friends. No skin off my back.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Twilight attempted to reassure her. “I still remember when Applejack broke up with me. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life. I never wanted you to have to go through that.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Twilight, that lasted a day.”
“It was the hardest day of my life,” Twilight insisted. “Well, hardest day that didn’t involve Nightmare Moon. Or Changelings. King Sombra. Discord.” She thought for a moment. “Though I guess it kind of did involve Discord.”
“It was still a day,” Rainbow Dash criticized. “Then you got back together, we beat up a rock, and everypony cheered about your amazing love life. That’s the difference. Pinkie dumped me for real. We don’t get to dramatically make up just in time to flip the tables on some bad guy. We’re just done.”
Three days before, Rainbow Dash joined her friends to watch the Cutie Mark Crusaders drive their float in the Summer Harvest Parade. The parade had gone quickly awry, and Rainbow Dash raced to the edge of a small cliff with the others to check on the fillies.
Frantically, she peered over the hay bales the organizers had lined up as a makeshift guardrail for the parade. Their large, golden apple float was immediately visible, half-submerged in the muck at the bottom. To her great relief, the fillies were okay. They crawled out of the mud and seemed to be discussing something among themselves.
“Are y’all okay?” Applejack called down to the fillies. She leapt over the barricade and descended the hill to check on them.
Satisfied that the Crusaders were intact and safe, Twilight turned her attention to the other potential disaster. “Has anypony seen Pinkie Pie?”
“I think I saw her float careen off the road before the apple crashed,” Rarity answered.
“I’ll go find her,” Rainbow Dash volunteered. “She can’t have gone far.”
“I’ll come with you,” Twilight offered.
“NO!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Um…I mean…the Crusaders might be hurt. They could probably use some, uh…some magic? Besides, you’d just slow me down.”
“You might be right,” Twilight conceded.
“Don’t worry, we’ll catch up later.” With that, she was gone into the air. She crossed the road and skimmed the cliff face until she found the wreckage of the lettuce float laying in a nearby cow pasture. Face-deep in the lettuce, Pinkie emitted loud chomping sounds as Rainbow Dash descended.
“There you are,” Rainbow Dash uttered, setting herself down in the lettuce. “Sucks about your float. Are you--WHOA!” Before she could finish, Pinkie Pie lunged for her, rolling her down into the leaves.
The only words that came out of the pink pony, “Veggie Salad,” successfully explained nothing.
Rainbow Dash, however, could no longer care. Reaching a hoof up for the side of Pinkie’s face, she-- “Is that a cow?”
Pinkie followed Rainbow Dash’s stare to Daisy Jo, who stood just beside the wreckage with one of its lettuce leaves sticking out of her teeth. Her eyes were locked on the two ponies and she’d stopped chewing, opting instead for staring awkwardly.
“This might be a little too public,” Pinkie Pie admitted.
“But it’s cool,” Rainbow Dash continued. “Pinkie’s a good friend. I kinda lost sight of that for a while.”
“Yes, you did,” Twilight agreed. “But I’m glad it worked out okay in the end. I think we’ve all lost our heads once or twice for love. Applejack and I certainly have. Maybe not Fluttershy. I can’t really speak for Rarity either.” Twilight thought for a moment. “I guess there was the Gala, but that was a disaster all around.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Rainbow Dash laughed. “Rarity is, like, the love expert. She actually seems to know what she’s doing.”
“You’re right,” Twilight agreed. “I’m sure when it’s her turn to have feelings for somepony, Rarity will be the picture of grace and sophistication.”
“What, not a screw-up like us?” Rainbow Dash laughed.
“I don’t think we’re that bad. We’re just new to this.”
“So, it’s been going well?” Rarity asked a couple days later. She lay out on her fainting couch, having found a moment’s respite from her busy schedule to entertain what was, for once, an expected guest.
Pinkie Pie bit down on the rim of her coffee mug and tipped it upwards, gulping down some of the warm liquid before returning the mug to its spot. “It’s going perfect! Dashie and I are like two peas in a pod!”
Confused, Rarity asked, “Wait, I thought you didn’t want to be a couple.”
“I don’t!” As though it were the most obvious thing, Pinkie explained, “A pod holds a bunch of peas, Rarity.”
Rarity blinked a couple of times, absentmindedly sipping from her coffee. “…huh,” she muttered as she digested Pinkie's words. There was certainly no arguing with that logic. She wondered if the party pony might have just ruined that phrase forever.
Obliviously, Pinkie continued, “Anyways, we’re doing okay now. She hasn’t been weird or creepy even once! I think your advice really helped.”
Shaking it off, Rarity assured her, “That is a relief to hear. You’ve avoided a potentially calamitous heartbreak and protected your friendship at the same time.”
“I mean, we’re still doing it!” Pinkie boasted, prompting Rarity to choke mid-gulp as she tried to down her mug. Pinkie gasped. “Are you okay?!” she asked but Rarity simply gestured for her to move out of the way and raced to the kitchen, coughing up brown fluid into the sink.
“I’m sorry,” Pinkie apologized as she followed Rarity to the kitchen. “Should we not be?”
Rarity stood, front hooves propped up on the counter, and let a couple more gasps out into the sink. “It’s fine,” she managed to get out between heaves. “Honestly, I’m surprised that took this long. And what you’re doing is entirely between you and Rainbow Dash. You’re both adults. So long as nopony’s being pressured into anything and the both of you are comfortable with the nature of your friendship, what you do behind closed doors is your own business.”
“Don’t you think the Great and Apologetic Trixie is the most magnificent humble pony you’ve ever seen?!” Before Twilight could formulate an answer to that question, Trixie vanished in a burst of smoke that thoroughly failed to conceal her departure.
With a roll of her eyes, Twilight dropped off the stage and began searching for her friends in the dispersing crowd. She’d already passed off Fluttershy’s animals back to her and knew that would be occupying her time, but there were still--
Aha! There was Rarity, idly chatting with Bon Bon and Lyra. “Rarity!” she called out to her, trotting over to join her.
“Oh! Good evening, Twilight,” Rarity greeted her. “That was quite the lovely display you put on.”
“Thank you. After that duel with Trixie, the performance was the easy part. She really pushed me.”
“Speaking of, whatever has become of the Alicorn Amulet?”
Twilight glanced at Lyra and Bon Bon, but the two had already wandered off in search of new gossip. “Zecora’s taking care of it,” she answered. “I don’t expect we’ll be hearing from that thing ever again.”
Before Twilight could say anymore, she found her neck jerked sideways and her ears filled with the shout, “Hoo-wee, that was a humdinger of a light show!” Twilight teetered off-balance as her head arrived at its new resting place, squeezed between Applejack’s foreleg and the side of her face. “You were amazin’, sugarcube!”
“It wasn’t that impressive,” Twilight insisted. “I’m sure that any pony with a degree in the practical applications of theoretical metaphysics could have done the same.”
Applejack blinked a couple times. “That the stuff you used to make the critters float around in circles or the bit that made the swirly lights pop off?”
“I….” Twilight lowered her head, sheepishly. “Well…there was some basic magic theory in those spells….”
Rarity giggled. “That’s alright. We were all very impressed with your magic.”
“Actually, I wanted to ask about that,” Twilight interjected. “Have you seen the others? I know Fluttershy’s going to be busy making sure I didn’t hurt her animals, but I haven’t seen Pinkie since I broke Trixie’s silencing spell. I have no idea where Rainbow Dash is.”
“Reckon I saw Rainbow sneakin’ ‘round the back of the flower shop,” Applejack answered.
“Yes, Pinkie Pie was headed that direction as well,” Rarity added with a smirk. "They’ve likely slipped away to do the horizontal tango. Those two are so cute together.”
Twilight perked up at the suggestion. “Wait, they’re dancing?” She pouted. “I wish they’d asked us to join. I’ve never heard of that one. They probably could have taught me.”
Rarity stared blankly at Twilight for a few seconds before Applejack, trying her hardest not to start laughing at her special somepony, explained, “She’s talkin’ ‘bout sex, sugarcube. Rainbow and Pinkie skipped off to have sex.” Watching Twilight’s face turn beet red, Applejack’s willpower broke and she cracked up.
“Oh!” Twilight remarked. “That’s…but…they’re supposed to be….”
Confused, Rarity asked, “Surely, Rainbow Dash has kept you apprised? Your recurring lunch dates were quite the local scandal. I had to assure Sweetie Belle that the two of you weren’t having an affair. You should have seen her; frantic and screaming about what this would do to poor Apple Bloom.”
Applejack added, “Probably shouldn’t tell her what you wanted Rainbow to teach you!” before laughing again.
“It’s not that funny,” Twilight grumbled.
Her agitation, however, was appeased by a gentle nuzzle on the side of her face and the words, “You’re just cute, s’all.”
Returning to the matter at hoof, Twilight explained, “Rainbow Dash and I talked about everything. She and Pinkie broke up weeks ago.”
“Technically, they were never a couple in the first place,” Rarity corrected. “That was just a bit of a miscommunication.”
“That explains even less,” Twilight insisted. “Why would they be…I mean, why are they…you know…doing….”
Rarity gave Twilight a sarcastic glance. “Darling, if you are old enough to be doing it, then you are old enough to say the words.”
Blushing furiously, Twilight choked out, “…having sex. They’re having sex.”
“Don’t reckon it’s our business,” Applejack insisted.
Confused, Twilight argued, “But they’re just supposed to be friends. Friends don’t do that with each other. That’s just supposed to be for you and your special somepony, isn’t it?”
Rarity answered, “Some friends do, Twilight. There aren’t rules to friendship. It can be whatever two ponies decide they want it to be.”
Twilight shook her head. None of this made sense to her. Since coming to Ponyville, she’d read every book on friendship she could find. She’d poured through romance novel after romance novel back when she’d started out with Applejack. She’d never read anything about friends sleeping together on occasion. “Have you ever done it with a friend?” she asked Rarity, pressing the point.
But to her surprise, Rarity answered her with a shrug and, “A couple of times, yes.”
Twilight stared at her for a few seconds, trying to process her answer. Then she clarified, “I’m talking about having sex.”
“Yes, darling, your masterful innuendo was not lost on me.”
Twilight looked to Applejack next. “What about you? Have you ever?”
Applejack shook her head. “I’m really more of a flowers and sweet talk kind of gal. I like a bit of romancin’.”
“So do I,” Rarity agreed. “Sometimes things just happen, however. There’s nothing wrong with it, Twilight.”
Twilight’s mind reeled with the implications of what Rarity and Applejack were saying. She needed time to process this. Before she could speak, however, Applejack caught the gears turning in her head and told her, “I know what you’re fixin’ on, sugar, and you shouldn’t. Rainbow and Pinkie don’t need no more meddlin’.”
“I’m not going to meddle,” Twilight assured her.
“Uh-huh.” Applejack sighed. “Listen, I know you want Pinkie and Rainbow to be happy, but tryin’ to set them up is a dog don’t hunt.”
“I know, I know,” Twilight told her. “I’ll just do what I can if they need my help. That’s all.”
Applejack reached a hoof up and scruffed Twilight’s mane. “S’all anypony can ask of ya.”
The next day, Twilight found herself hidden in the bushes just outside Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash needed her help confessing their hearts’ true feelings to each other, and she was determined to be the pony that brings them together. They’d thank her on their wedding day, surely.
A box shaped like a heart sat propped against the doorframe. Inside were a variety of assorted chocolates from her favorite candy shop in Canterlot. She’d picked out the same box she’d gotten Applejack for Hearts and Hooves Day, with the same card and the same lettering. On the front, she’d simply written, “To Pinkie Pie”.
Getting the box was the easy part. Keeping other ponies away from it was – horse apples, there was another one!
Twilight spied a blue pegasus trotting up towards Sugarcube Corner, topped by a golden mane. Her cutie mark was shaped like a sun half obscured by a cloud. Twilight thought she’d heard her name as Cloud Kicker or Cloudy Kicks or something like that, but the point right now was that she was threatening Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie’s future.
Floating a cupcake from the basket beside her, Twilight levitated it past the pegasus, who caught sight of it easily enough and dashed away to chase after the confectionery delight. Twilight congratulated herself on another disaster averted and resumed her stakeout.
Finally, as the sun approached its peak in the sky, Rainbow Dash fluttered down from the sky. She spotted the candy box resting beside the doorframe and approached it. Confused, Rainbow Dash looked around a few times, but there was nopony in sight who might have left it. Picking it up with one hoof, she bit the knob of the Cakes’ front door and opened it, entering the store.
Releasing the knob, Rainbow Dash called out, “Hey, Pinkie? Are you here?” She set the box down on the counter.
Pinkie Pie poked her head out from the kitchen at Rainbow Dash’s voice. “Good morning, Rainbow Dash! How are you?”
Rainbow Dash held out a sheet of parchment, resting it beside the box. “I got your letter,” she explained. “What did you want to talk about?”
“What?” Pinkie zipped over to the counter to look at the parchment. “I didn’t write a letter. I don’t think I did, anyway.” Inscribed was a very brief message in the neat, fanciful style that only unicorn magic could produce.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Zany non-sequitur,
Turning her head sideways, Pinkie Pie asked, “Hey, isn’t this that fancy paper Twilight uses?”
Rainbow Dash stared at it for a few seconds, but she’d never really paid that much attention, so she couldn’t answer for certain. “Uh…maybe?” she offered. “I found this box outside, too. I think it’s for you.”
Pinkie Pie glanced over at the chocolate box. “That’s weird,” she noted. “It’s the same writing on the box.” She looked up for a moment, thinking, then turned to Rainbow Dash and asked, “Do you think this has anything to do with Twilight hiding in the bushes across the street all morning?”
“She's doing what?”
Pinkie jerked her head behind Rainbow Dash. “She’s watching us through that window right now.” When Rainbow Dash turned to look, Twilight grimaced in panic and ducked quickly out of sight, but not fast enough to prevent her from being seen.
Alarmed, Rainbow Dash asked, “Why is she--”
Before she could finish, Pinkie gave a shrug and a verbal, “Who knows?” She popped open the box of chocolates and dove face-first into them, munching loudly before looking up and asking Rainbow Dash, “You want some?”
“I’m good,” Rainbow Dash answered with a grimace. Pinkie responded by shoving her face back into the box and chomping.
When she’d finished devouring the tasty treats, Pinkie looked up at Rainbow Dash and asked, “So as long as you’re here, do you want to help me with my deliveries?”
“Sure,” Rainbow Dash answered. “I’ve got time.”
“Great! Let me just finish cooking up the last batch and we can be on our way.”
Rainbow Dash found herself waiting for half an hour before Pinkie emerged from the kitchen again. With the two of them carrying boxes, it didn’t take long to load up the cart. Rainbow Dash had just set the last of her boxes into the car when she heard a, “Psst,” coming from a pink flower bed next to the stairs.
Not even needing to look, Rainbow Dash slapped her hoof to her forehead. This was going to be a long day.
“PSST!” came the voice, louder this time. In a loud whisper, Twilight urged her, “Offer to pull the cart! You’re really strong! She’ll appreciate it!”
Rainbow Dash sighed heavily, then stepped around the cart and told Pinkie, “Hey, Twilight says I should pull the cart.”
“Why?” Pinkie asked.
“PSSST!” came Twilight’s loud whisper again. “Don’t tell her I said that!”
Rainbow Dash glared at Twilight’s hiding place, but her attention was pulled back when Pinkie admonished her. “Twilight says you’re not supposed to tell me that Twilight’s telling you to do things!”
Confused, Rainbow Dash asked, “Are we actually going along with this?”
“Well, yeah,” Pinkie answered bluntly. “Twilight said you’re supposed to offer to pull the cart.”
Sighing, Rainbow Dash stepped towards the cart’s harness, but Pinkie leapt in front of her, blocking her path. “Hey!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “I thought you wanted me to pull it.”
“Nonono, you’re getting ahead of yourself. Twilight told you to offer to pull the cart. You haven’t offered.”
Disdain rolled from Rainbow Dash’s snout in a long groan. She couldn’t roll her eyes hard enough at this scenario. But when she looked back over, she saw Pinkie beginning to pout, and that worried her. Was she being mean again? It wasn’t that she particularly wanted to be doing something else and she was pretty sure she hadn’t pressured Pinkie for sex at any point, but Pinkie still seemed hurt by the way she was approaching this weird new thing Twilight was doing.
Drawing in a deep breath, Rainbow Dash looked Pinkie straight in the eyes and said, “Pinkie Pie, will you let me pull your cart?” In response to the question, Pinkie proceeded to stand completely still next to the cart. Rainbow Dash waved a hoof in front of her eyes, but she didn’t even seem to acknowledge it. “Uh, Pinkie? What are you doing now?”
“I’m waiting for my turn,” Pinkie explained.
“I think you’re just supposed to answer the question.” Rainbow Dash turned towards the flower bed. “Twilight, tell her--” The unicorn, however, was no longer cunningly concealed by flowers that were not the correct color to match her hide. Where she’d gotten to was a fresh new mystery, prompting Rainbow Dash to heave a long sigh. This was going to be quite a day.
By the time they arrived at Pinkie’s first destination, the school, Rainbow Dash was already sick of hauling her cart. She had the strength to manage the load, but the weight was awkward and required her to pull with her hind legs. The straps forced her to choose whether she wanted her wings pinned to her sides or unable to rest comfortably over them. This whole rig was clearly not designed with pegasi in mind.
She waited outside as Pinkie carried the sweets into the store. A few minutes later, she was forced to breathe a heavy sight when she saw a bouquet of lilies levitating in her direction. Dryly, she remarked, “I’m flattered, but I don’t think AJ’s going to like you hitting on me.”
She grinned to herself as she heard Twilight’s flustered reply. “That’s not…I…they’re not for you!”
Rainbow Dash walked past the flowers to the bush Twilight was hiding in. “You want me to give these to Pinkie, don’t you?”
“Yes. And read her this.” Twilight levitated a sheet of parchment.
Rainbow Dash’s eyes skimmed over it briefly. “Your hair like cotton candy?” She shuddered from revulsion. “I’m not reading this! It’s just about the sappiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“But you have to,” came Pinkie Pie’s voice from behind her. Rainbow Dash turned her head and saw Pinkie trotting down from the school. “Twilight said so.”
Frustrated, Rainbow Dash asked, “Why is that such a big deal today?”
“Because if you don’t do what Twilight says then I might never get a turn.”
“A turn at what?!” Rainbow Dash shouted.
“At the game,” Pinkie answered. “We’re playing Twilight Says. I haven’t gotten a turn yet, but I’ve been really patient.”
Struck by Pinkie’s interpretation of the events, Rainbow Dash stammered, “N…no…that’s not….” She reached her hooves into the bush and yanked Twilight out, pushing her in Pinkie’s direction. “Tell her that’s not what we’re doing.”
Pinkie looked innocently at Twilight, who shrank away from her gaze. “I mean, it could be what we’re--”
Sternly, Rainbow Dash asked, “Twilight, what are you doing?”
Twilight sighed and lowered her head. “I just wanted the two of you to have an actual date. You need to express your feelings for each other.”
“Why?” Pinkie asked.
“Because you’re not doing it right,” Twilight answered bluntly.
Pinkie took a step back and stared at Twilight, uncertain how to answer that. She felt more than saw Rainbow Dash’s features harden as the pegasus opened her snout to respond. “You want to say that again?”
“That didn’t come out right,” Twilight corrected herself. Looking at Rainbow Dash, she took a stab at a better explanation. “What I mean is that I’m worried that you’re taking advantage of Pinkie Pie.”
“Oh, is that all?!” Rainbow Dash demanded.
“It’s not that you mean to be,” Twilight explained. “At least, I hope you don’t.”
Pinkie stepped forward, asking, “Wait, that’s what you’re--”
But she was cut off by Rainbow Dash retorting, “I don’t, huh? So, what, I just woke up in the morning and accidentally slipped on my abusive saddlebags instead of the regular ones?”
Pinkie pulled away from Rainbow Dash, urging her, “You’re slipping into your mean voice again.”
Twilight shook her head. Tension sparked in her voice as she answered, “No, but you’re not treating Pinkie with the respect that she deserves.”
Pinkie’s eyes shot open and she looked at Twilight. “Nonono, we solved that, she’s been really--”
“How?!” Rainbow Dash demanded. “I told you that we worked things out!”
“You told me that you broke it off!” Twilight responded. “You lied to me!”
Pinkie looked at Twilight. “Uh, Twilight? You’re starting to get a mean voice too.”
“I never lied to you!” Rainbow Dash insisted. “We did break up!”
Pinkie turned her head back towards the cart, and her eyes widened. “Uh, girls?”
“Then why are you still having sex?!” Twilight shouted back at her.
“Girls!” Pinkie shouted over the two of them. Twilight and Rainbow Dash turned to see the deep, purple face of Cheerilee standing before them, eye twitching. The curious faces of various colts and fillies could be seen filling the windows of the school. “I am so sorry,” Pinkie offered in supplication.
“Ladies,” Cheerilee addressed the three ponies through a broken attempt at a smile. “While I’m sure this discussion must be absolutely fascinating, do you mind not having it in front of the children?”
Pinkie had already slipped into the harness of her cart by the time Twilight and Rainbow Dash processed the question. Twilight stammered out a quick, “I’m sorry,” and trotted after Pinkie.
Rainbow Dash matched it with a sheepish, “Yeah, what she said,” before following suit.
Any hopes Pinkie might have had that the interruption would defuse the argument were soon dashed, as Twilight hissed to Rainbow Dash once they were out of earshot of the school, “Either you lied to me or you’re using Pinkie for sex. I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt.”
“Twilight, we solved that,” Pinkie pleaded, but once again, her voice fell on deaf ears.
Twilight’s accusation was the spark to Rainbow Dash’s anger. She stopped walking. “What business is it of yours anyway?!”
“It’s my business because you’re hurting my friend!” Twilight answered.
“Twilight, please stop,” Pinkie begged.
“Yeah, I screwed up,” Rainbow Dash admitted, “But I’ve worked really hard to get along with Pinkie! I don’t need this right now!”
“Yeah, we’re fi--wait,” Pinkie’s attention snapped back to Rainbow Dash. “Being my friend is hard work?”
Twilight rounded on Rainbow Dash. “It’s not about what you need! What does she need, Rainbow Dash? You’ve never cared about her needs. I’ve asked you again and again and you’ve never listened. This relationship can’t just be about you!”
“It’s not!” Rainbow Dash replied. “There isn’t a relationship! That’s what you’re not getting! We talk, we laugh, we play around, and yes, we have sex sometimes. That’s it! We’re friends! We’re not lovers, we’re not going to have little pink rainbow foals running around, we’re just good friends.”
Twilight blinked. “That wouldn’t be biologically feasible anyways, but that’s beside the point. Friends don’t sleep together.”
“Why not?!”
“Because….” Twilight hesitated, trying to find an answer. She knew there was one. She was certain of it. But it wouldn’t come to her lips. “Because they don’t, Rainbow Dash. That’s not how friendship works. You’re using Pinkie instead of giving her what she needs.”
“She’s the one who wanted to just be friends!” Rainbow Dash shouted, gesturing at Pinkie. She’d hoped Pinkie would chime in to support her, but no answer came.
Shrinking down in her harness, Pinkie tried to hide from all the screaming. She didn’t even care what Twilight and Rainbow Dash were fighting about anymore. She just wanted it to stop. She closed her eyes and shut out the world until she heard the one thing she couldn’t shut out.
“You know what? I’m done with this,” Rainbow Dash snapped at Twilight. “Come on, Pinkie.”
“Where do you think you’re going?” Twilight demanded.
Looking Twilight straight in the eyes, Rainbow Dash answered. “We’re going to go have sex. Just because you don’t want us to! Loud, sweaty, obnoxious--”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!” Pinkie shrieked, emerging from her safe place in an explosion of raw emotion.
Rainbow Dash jerked back from Pinkie’s voice as though the words had physically struck her. Fear wrestled with vulnerability in her features as she echoed, “…no?”
Pinkie’s frantic eyes fell on Rainbow Dash as she approached her. “Dashie, the things I do for you are supposed to be out of love. You’re my friend and I want my friends to be happy. But if you’re just doing it to hurt Twilight, then I want no part of it!”
Shrinking back from Pinkie, Rainbow Dash recognized the line she’d crossed. As she searched for the words to say, she caught a glimpse of Twilight’s smug smirk over Pinkie’s shoulder. Twilight’s triumph, however, was short lived as Pinkie rounded on her next.
“And you!” she shouted, angrier than Rainbow had ever seen her. “I’m happy that you want to protect me, Twilight, but it wasn’t needed. You just made everything worse!”
Twilight struggled to defend herself. “I’m just trying to keep her from taking advantage of you. You’re not the most…I mean….” She searched for a way to say what she wanted to say without offending her dear friend.
She didn’t need to, however. Pinkie understood exactly what she meant. “You think that I can’t take care of myself,” she said bluntly.
Twilight lowered her head sheepishly. She knew how bad this looked. “I’m just worried that your worldview might make you vulnerable to abuse. And Rainbow Dash…I mean, it looked….”
“I know how it looked,” Pinkie answered. “I also know how you and Applejack look, but I don’t talk about that!”
Twilight jerked up, alarmed. “Wait, what’s wrong with me and Applejack?”
“Twilight, the very first friend you ever made in your entire life is now plowing your field!”
Looking over Pinkie’s shoulder, Rainbow Dash explained, “She means--”
Twilight shook her head, cutting her off. “No, I got that one.”
Pinkie continued, “That’s skeevy, Twilight. If I didn’t know the both of you, I could totally think she was taking advantage of you. I could think that she used your naivete and vulnerability to get you to do things you wouldn’t want to do if you know better. I could have gone to the farm a hundred times to yell at Applejack about what she’s doing, but I never have, because you’re my friends. Because I know you both and I trust you.”
Twilight sat down hard as Pinkie’s words raced through her mind. She thought about how she and Applejack had gotten together. It had been innocent enough, she thought, but Pinkie was right. To an outside observer, what must they have looked like?
With tears welling up in her eyes, Pinkie continued. “And you seem happy. You’ve been watching me all day, Twilight. Did I seem happy today?”
Twilight nodded.
“Then why would you want to take that away from me?” She breathed a heavy sob. “All I wanted was to play a fun game, and you both ruined it.” Sliding into her harness, she addressed Twilight and Rainbow Dash. “I have to go make my deliveries now.”
“Pinkie, wait--” Rainbow Dash attempted, but she was interrupted.
“Don’t follow me.” In that moment, Pinkie uttered some of the hardest words she’d ever had to say: “You’re not invited.” As her tears struck the ground, they were matched by her hooves. The wheels of her cart heaved and rolled after her.
Twilight and Rainbow Dash watched Pinkie and her cart disappear into town. After a few long moments, Rainbow Dash asked, “Did we just get told off by Pinkie Pie?”
Twilight nodded in affirmation. Gathering her strength to speak, she said, “I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash. I just don’t understand.”
Rainbow Dash scratched her neck with her hoof. “Look, I’m not the one to explain it. I don’t even really get it either.” She thought for a moment, then added, “You know what we need? This worked for me and Pinkie. We need somepony who can sit and listen to us and keep us from snapping at each other or ignoring each other.”
“A mediator?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah, that’s it!”
“Well, Rarity is usually--”
Sheepishly, Rainbow Dash interrupted, “I think Rarity would rather swallow nails than have to deal with any more of our romance drama.”
Twilight thought for a moment, then nodded her head in agreement. “She deserves a break.”
Applejack sighed. Twilight and Rainbow Dash each had seats taken on bales of hay in the barn of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack paced between them, listening as they explained their problem. “So what I’m hearin’, Twilight, is that you went out and meddled right after promisin’ me you wouldn’t.”
“I thought they needed help,” Twilight offered in her own defense.
Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash. “And you got madder than a wet hen and stuffed your hoof in your mouth. That about cover it?”
Rainbow Dash agreed, “I went too far. I think I really hurt her.”
Twilight shook her head. “No, I’m fine.”
“Not you!”
Applejack took a deep breath. She turned to Twilight first. “Alright, sugar. Let’s hear it.”
Twilight explained, “I don’t understand how Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie can be happy being friends if they’re sleeping together.”
“Do you have to?”
“What do you mean?”
Applejack sat down in front of Twilight and smiled at her. “Sugar, I don’t know how Rares can be so fixed on findin’ her a stallion. I’ve tried it and it ain’t right for me, but there’s something there she sees that I don’t. Don’t reckon that matters none, though. It ain’t my life, so it don’t got to make sense to me.”
Twilight glanced over at Rainbow Dash. “You’re saying I should just accept my own lack of understanding and let it go?”
“Are they hurtin’ anypony?”
Twilight looked down sheepishly. “I thought Rainbow Dash was hurting Pinkie Pie, but I think I might have made a mistake.”
Applejack looked over at Rainbow Dash. “Hey, Rainbow, Pinkie hurtin’ ya any?”
“Not that I know of,” Rainbow Dash answered honestly.
Applejack returned her attention to Twilight. “Now I’ll ask Pinkie that next time I see her, and then I’ll have my answer.”
“I don’t think it’s that simple,” Twilight answered. “But I think you’re right. I should have dropped this.” She looked over at her friend. “I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash.”
Next was her turn. Applejack stepped over to Rainbow Dash. “Sounds to me like you upset Pinkie somethin’ fierce.”
Rainbow Dash nodded. “I’m going to have to talk to her.”
“Not right now,” Twilight urged her. “It’s not a good idea to talk while feelings are still heated. Give her some time to cool down.”
Looking from Twilight to Applejack, Rainbow Dash asked, “What do I say to her? I wasn’t trying to use her like that. I just thought--”
“Let me stop ya there,” Applejack interrupted. “Your mind’s runnin’, findin’ ways to make this quit bein’ your fault. Don’t do that. There’s somethin’ my granny told me that I want you to think about: Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”
Closing her eyes, Rainbow Dash answered, “I don’t think I’m either right now.”
“Good. Then you take that answer and you clutch it to your chest. If you reckon you’re in the wrong, then you don’t let yourself convince you that you’re right. You take your wrongness with you and you accept what you got to do to make it right.”
Once the sun touched the horizon, Rainbow Dash flew to Sugarcube Corner. She felt that should have been enough time for Pinkie to at least cool off. She said a few greetings to Mrs. Cake downstairs before heading up. At Pinkie’s door, she was greeted by the most unnerving sight: she had hung a sign on her door that read simply, “Party closed today.”
She knocked on the door, but there was no answer. “Pinkie?” she called, but still nothing came. “Are you there?” After a few silent moments passed, she knocked again. “Pinkie, I’m coming in.” When no words came in protest, she bit down on the handle and turned it to open the door.
Inside, Rainbow Dash found the familiar sight of Pinkie’s bedroom, but the entire sight felt wrong from the moment she laid eyes on it. The floor was clean of confetti and there wasn’t a single balloon hovering around the ceiling. Pinkie’s pet alligator, Gummy, sat oblivious on her dresser. Pinkie Pie herself lay motionless on the bed, facing away from the door. The curls in her mane and tail lay straight across her pillow and mattress.
“Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash asked, but silence remained her only companion. “Look, I came by to see if you were okay. You seemed really upset.” Pinkie remained motionless. If she even heard Rainbow Dash, she didn’t show it.
Trying again, Rainbow Dash told her, “Twilight and I both got carried away. We talked it over, though. We didn’t mean anything by it.” Still nothing. “After you left, she, uh…well, we talked and she admitted she had it wrong. We’re cool now. Nopony’s fighting.” The deafening silence continued unabated. “We’re all still friends, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash pleaded.
The next couple minutes felt like hours as Rainbow Dash stood, waiting for Pinkie to say something. To say anything. To scream, to cry, to just do something that showed she heard her. Finally, she looked over at Gummi, then sighed. “I guess I just wanted you to know we worked things out. I’ll see you around.”
It was only when Rainbow Dash reached the doorknob that she heard Pinkie Pie speak. Her voice was quiet and strained. She only spoke three words, but they were there. “You used me.”
Rainbow Dash stepped away from the door. “What? No, I didn’t!” Her mind raced over the last few weeks. She remembered accosting Pinkie in the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner. She remembered pestering her for sex. Trying to get her to sleep with her at the convention. She was alarmed by how many memories of their time together were now dominated by that same question: will you sleep with me?
Before she could make sense of them, Pinkie clarified, “Today, at the park, you used me to hurt Twilight. That’s not okay, Rainbow Dash.” Her breath hitched. Even though she couldn’t see Pinkie’s face, Rainbow Dash could hear her tears through her voice. “I’m not a weapon. You don’t use me to hurt my friends. That is the biggest thing you don’t do.” Pinkie moved just slightly, curling inwards as she spoke the words that broke Rainbow Dash’s heart. “I don’t know if we can be friends anymore.”
Rainbow Dash’s mind raced for a way to make this not be happening. She wanted to scream. To cry. To plead. Even to beg. Whatever she had to say to make Pinkie take it back, to make her see how much she cared about her, to make this not be a problem anymore. A thousand emotions raced through her mind, matched only by the number of stray thoughts and panicked ideas. But in the midst of it all, one voice rang out the loudest.
You take your wrongness with you and you accept what you got to do to make it right.
There was no fixing this, she realized. Anything she did to convince Pinkie would only cement her answer further. This was really it, and if she wanted any chance of having a friendship with Pinkie in the future, she needed to take her licks now. Sincerity, she realized, can be the hardest thing in the world. But it can also be the most important.
Mustering the courage to speak, Rainbow Dash answered her. “You’re right. I’ve been terrible to you since the Crystal Ball. I took advantage of you. I pushed you. I wasn’t trying to hurt you, but I did and then I kept going like nothing was wrong. The truth is, I don’t get you, Pinkie. I keep making mistake after mistake because I don’t understand. But maybe I haven’t really tried. I alter course until everything evens out, but then it gets worse down the line.”
Rainbow Dash drew in a deep breath as she got to the hard part. “Today, I crossed a line. I should have known better but I was angry and I wasn’t really thinking about you. So I hurt you, because I forgot you can be hurt. I kinda think of you as invincible. No matter what happens to you, you just bounce back. I really admire that.”
Continuing, she said, “Today, I turned our friendship into a weapon, and that hurt you deeper than I thought you even could be. I actually do get that. Making ponies happy is such a core part of you, and I used that to hurt a friend. I guess what I’m trying to say is….” She hesitated a moment. These words had never come easily to her, and now that her heart lay bare and exposed, they felt next to impossible.
Still, they needed to be said. “I’m sorry, Pinkie. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry about everything I’ve done since the Ball. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you, and I’m especially sorry about what I did today. If we can’t be friends anymore, then I get that. It’s not any less than I deserve. But I’m going to miss you. Even before all this, you were one of my favorite ponies.”
Pinkie’s head seemed to lift, but she remained turned away. “I was?” she asked.
“Well, yeah. You’re Pinkie Pie! Who wouldn’t want to be your friend?”
Carefully, Pinkie probed. “What did you like about me?”
“Are you kidding? You’re hilarious! You sneeze confetti! You bend and stretch in impossible directions! Hey, do you remember that time you were screaming from a flagpole about Cranky Doodle being bald?”
“You heard that?”
“Everypony in town heard that. It was great!”
“I really wasn’t trying to embarrass him,” Pinkie admitted. “It just happened that way.”
“Yeah, but that’s one of the great things about spending time with Pinkie Pie. Things just happen. A pony never knows what she’s going to get when you’re around.” Pinkie didn’t answer that. Not wanting to push her boundaries, Rainbow Dash added, “Anyways, I should let you have time to think. I hope I’ll see you around, Pinkie.”
She turned for the door, but Pinkie interrupted her departure once again. “Hey, Dashie?”
“Yeah?”
Pinkie rolled over, facing Rainbow Dash, and tentatively reached out her hoof. She pressed it into Rainbow Dash’s snout, offering a simple, “Boop,” in explanation.
Rainbow Dash reached up and rubbed her nose. “Does this mean we’re still friends?”
“I really liked your apology,” Pinkie admitted. Her mane and tail inflated as she spoke. “It meant a lot, coming from you. Thank you.”
Rainbow Dash looked down at her hoof, trying to find the words to say. Her heart lay open and exposed, and she was terrified for what that meant. She hated feeling vulnerable like this. Still, for the sake of her friendship, she knew she had to ride it out. “I know I’ve been a bit crazy,” she admitted. “I still don’t get what happened that night in the Crystal Empire, but it changed something in me. I really wanted for you to love me.”
“I do love you,” Pinkie answered her.
“You do?”
“Of course I do. I also love Rarity, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Applejack. You’re all my best and dearest friends, and I love each and every one of you.”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “Right, that. But that’s just not the same.”
“Why can’t it be?” Pinkie asked curiously.
“I mean, you keep saying that but it doesn’t explain that night. I think that’s why I got so mad at Twilight. I’ve been trying to be okay with our friendship, but some of the things she was saying didn’t feel wrong to me. I’m pretty sure you don’t have sex with your friends.”
Sitting up, Pinkie asked, “Why not? I did. And I’d do it again, too. If I want to show one of my friends how special they are by sharing myself with them, then why is that wrong?”
“I don’t know,” Rainbow Dash admitted. “I guess it’s supposed to be something special?”
“It is special to me. It’s not something I’d do with just anypony. Just the ones that are close to my heart.”
“That’s not the same thing, though,” Rainbow Dash explained. “Look at AJ and Twilight. Look at how they hold each other when we’re all hanging out and it’s late. You wouldn’t do that with just a friend.”
Pinkie patted a hoof down beside her. “Dashie, come up here and lay on the bed.”
“What?” Rainbow Dash’s heart raced at Pinkie’s suggestion, but she wasn’t sure she should do it. “I…Pinkie, are you sure?” Pinkie nodded in affirmation, so Rainbow Dash carefully stepped up onto the bed and lay herself beside her.
Without hesitation, Pinkie wrapped her limbs around Rainbow Dash and pulled her into herself. Rainbow’s face slid past Pinkie’s and came to rest on her neck. She felt strangely satisfied by the connection, simple though it was, and almost tuned out Pinkie’s voice when she asked, “If I want to cuddle with my friends, then why is that wrong?”
Having to answer the question left a sour taste in Rainbow Dash’s mouth, but she knew it had to be talked about. “It doesn’t mean the same thing,” she reaffirmed.
“Why not?”
“Because it doesn’t have that emotional bit. You aren’t doing it out of love.”
“I am so doing it out of love!” Pinkie retorted. “That’s why we’re cuddling right now: because I love you. I wouldn’t cuddle with Cranky or Bon Bon or Cheerilee. Just you girls.”
“But it’s not the same because….” Rainbow Dash hated the words that were about to leave her snout, but she knew they were the right ones. The reason she was feeling had finally presented itself. “I guess it’s because I know you’d do it for others too.”
“You want me to yourself,” Pinkie summarized.
“Yeah. I think that might be it.”
“That’s never going to happen. I’m sorry, Dashie, but this is who I am. It’s who I’m always going to be. It’s not about you; I’m not a pony you can own. My life is about spreading joy and happiness wherever it’s needed. Everypony deserves a little Pinkie Pie in their life.”
“I get it,” Rainbow Dash answered. She was a little sad to hear Pinkie’s answer, and yet it also felt right at the same time. Somehow, even though she felt a little rejected, she also felt proud of the kind of pony her friend was. “So that’s really what that night was about? You just wanted to thank me for being a good friend?”
Pinkie nodded. “It seemed like the right thing to do. I didn’t know it was your first time. That should have been more special. I’m so sorry, Dashie.”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No, it’s cool. It was special enough for me. I just didn’t know what you were doing. I couldn’t tell if you liked me or if you just really wanted to have sex.”
Rainbow Dash felt Pinkie convulse at the suggestion. “Don’t even say that!”
“What?”
Pinkie pulled back a little so she could look Rainbow Dash in the eyes. “That I just wanted the sex. I would never!” Something about her desperate denial seemed off about Rainbow Dash, but--oh. Ohhh. In an instant, Pinkie’s evasiveness around the subject clicked with her.
“Do you not like sex?” she asked.
Pinkie shook her head. “It feels really weird and it’s kind of invasive,” she admitted. “But it makes my friends happy, so I’ll do it when I can.”
Rainbow Dash’s guilt for the past few weeks doubled at Pinkie’s admission. “I didn’t know,” she offered weakly.
“I mean, it’s not like I don’t get anything out of it,” Pinkie continued. “There’s usually cuddling afterwards, and that always feels really good!” Her front hooves wrapped tighter around Rainbow Dash. “It makes me feel appreciated.”
Rainbow Dash squeezed her head back over onto Pinkie’s long neck. She closed her eyes, losing herself in the comfort. Her mind was still processing Pinkie’s answer. “You’re weird, Pinkie,” she ribbed.
“Yeah, but you love me anyway!”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes shot back open. “What?! I-I--”
“Too late!” Pinkie giggled. “You already said it. You love me, you love me, Dashie-Dash loves me!”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “That’s not going away any time soon, is it?”
“Do you want it to?”
“I don’t know.” Rainbow Dash leaned back to see Pinkie again. “I’ve been trying to figure out what we are since that night. We’re not lovers but we’re more than friends. I feel like I’m not any closer to that answer than I was when all this started.”
Pinkie tilted her head sideways. “Why does there need to be an answer? Why can’t we just be Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash?”
“I don’t know,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I can’t make sense of any of this. What am I supposed to do if I have needs you can’t fulfill?”
Without hesitation, Pinkie answered, “Then you find somepony who can. I’ll always be here for you in all the ways that I can, but if you want a dedicated partner, then I’m not the pony you’re looking for. And if that’s so, then that’s okay. We’re all just looking for what makes us happy.”
Rainbow Dash nodded. “I think I get it.”
“But right now?” Pinkie looked into Rainbow Dash’s eyes. “This moment is all yours. You can’t own me, but you can own this moment. Nopony can take that from you.”
Rainbow Dash sniffled in response. Was she crying? When had she started? She wasn’t supposed to do that in front of other ponies. She tried to wipe at her eye with a hoof, but Pinkie stopped her. The party pony reached her own hoof up to wipe away the teardrop that had rolled down her cheek.
“It’s okay,” Pinkie told her. “It’s just you and me. You don’t have to be cool.” Rainbow Dash leaned her head in and squeezed Pinkie tightly with her forelegs. Pinkie, in turn, twined her tail around Rainbow’s. “So what do you want your moment to be? We could just keep talking if you’d like. Ooh! Or we could have makeup sex! I know how you like that!”
Rainbow Dash took some time to balance her options. She knew that as long as Pinkie was doing it willingly, there would be times that she really needed to sleep with her. That wasn’t going to go away entirely. But it didn’t need to be what defined their friendship, either. Right here in this moment, it just felt inappropriate.
Besides, maybe Pinkie was right. Maybe answers were overrated after all. Even so, she was wrong about this. This wasn’t her moment. She had plenty of moments over the past few weeks, and many of them had gone unappreciated. But this moment? This moment belonged to the both of them.
With certainty in her voice, Rainbow Dash made her choice. “You know what, Pinkie? I think I’d just like to cuddle.”