I Don't Deserve Forgiveness
Diamond Tiara was depressed. Everypony had forgiven her at the drop of a hat. She didn’t deserve it. She had caused so much suffering, so much pain, her actions had caused her to nearly lose her best friend, a friend who might not have been a friend at all. But all it took was one heart-song and everypony seemed to forget everything she had done to them. In particular, the three fillies actions confused her and she was determined to talk to those three alone. That’s why she was currently waiting in an old clubhouse, shivering from the cold air leaking through the walls.
“Come on already, where are those blank- ugh you’re doing it again Diamond. I guess it’s true what they say, you can take the pony out of the spoiled life, but you can’t take the spoiled life out of the pony. Oh wait, I hear something, this is probably them.”
In walked Apple Bloom, although her orange feathered friend along with their dictionary of a unicorn were nowhere to be found. They probably didn’t want to come face to face with the pony who had mocked them so many times. And the pony that she herself had called a cripple when she herself was... no, no, that’s something that should be saved for later. Alone.
Apple Bloom was the first one to speak, “ Soooo, Ah heard you wanted to talk to us, Diamond.” Apple Bloom scratched the back of her head with her hoof. “Sorry that Scootloo wasn’t able to make it. She’s busy celebratin' her new Cutie Mark with Rainbow Dash, Celestia knows she’s been waiting for it, we all have. So what’s this about?"
Diamond Tiara jerked her head up, “What do you think this is about? How about you instantly forgiving me for everything I’ve done to you three for years? I’ve tormented you and your dorky friends relentlessly! I could have left you all alone and tried to find the meaning of my cutie mark alone, but no! I decided to follow in the hoofsteps of my crazy mother just to make me feel better about myself!”
Diamond jumped on her hooves and grabbed Apple Bloom's shoulders, shaking them in a furious rage. “Tell me why you forgave me when I clearly didn’t deserve any of the kindness you showed me! You could have left me alone to suffer, it would have been the perfect example of Karma. Nopony can be that pure-hearted, so please, tell me the truth."
There was a brief moment of silence before Apple bloom finally decided to reply. “The truth... the truth is exactly why I helped you in the first place.”
Diamond's face contorted in confusion, why was Apple Bloom being so cryptic? She knew she hanged around with that Zebra from the Everfree, but sounding so philosophical was completely out of character.
Apple Bloom lifted her head up, looking at the wooden ceiling above them, “ You know our roles could have easily been reversed. Ah could have been the bully and you coulda been the victim.”
Diamond Tiara frowned, “You as the bully? How could that be possible? You lives the perfect life with a near perfect family, you wouldn’t know what it would be like.”
Apple Bloom started speaking again, “How much do you know about my sister?” She asked, her eyes glazed as if she was immersed in some dream.
Diamond put her hoof on her chin, thinking. “Your sister? Okay, she bucks apples for a living, she’s one of the elements of harmony, she……. horseapples, that’s literally all I know. I don’t see her around town very often.” Diamond shook her head, signifying her lack of further knowledge to the question.
Apple Bloom sighed, “That’s what I thought. Okay, ya might wanna listen. Before Ah was born, my sister had originally decided to travel to Manehatten to see if she could find her real purpose there.”
Diamond gasped, “B-but why? I thought you all considered family the biggest priority, why would she decide to go and live somewhere that’s the polar opposite of Ponyville?”
Apple Bloom shrugged, “How should Ah know? I’m no Pinkie Pie, I can’t automatically know everything about everypony like ahm some crazy stalker… uh, no offense to Pinkie.” Apple bloom quickly shook her head. “Anyway, I’m getting off topic. You just mentioned how we apples consider family such a big deal, imagine if I had been born and my sister had stayed in Manehatten. I’d still have my big brother, Macintosh, but there would be something missing and I would find out sooner or later.”
Diamond interrupted her mid sentence, “I’m sorry Apple Bloom, but I’m still confused what this has to do with me. So, if Applejack left you, you would feel alone and.. oh." Diamond Tiara paused, grasping the point Apple Bloom was making.
Apple Bloom nodded her head, “Ah think you get the point now. Knowing I had a sister that left before Ah was born coulda badly hurt me emotionally. Ah would most likely assume she didn’t want me to be a part of her life, knowing that Ah would have taken my anger out on other ponies, our roles could have been reversed.”
Diamond paused and thought about that last statement. “A role reversal? But how? For there to be a role reversal you would have had to have a reason to be against me. I would have still been acting as an upper-class ungrateful sno-”
Apple Bloom placed her hoof over Diamond's mouth cutting her off, “Exactly. You would have stayed that way, but remember mah sister left for Manehatten, a place full of ponies like that. If Ah saw a pony acting like a pony mah sister could have possibly become, Ah woulda take my anger out on you one of the few ponies who would remind me of the pain I had gone through.” Apple Bloom sighed, “Even though this situation is completely situational, and even without that theory happening, I still had my chances.”
Diamond was once more completely lost. “But how? As much as I hate to rub it in, my family was still richer than yours at the time.”
"Yes, that’s true, but still, remember whose family made yours so rich in the first place, remember Family Appreciation Day?"
Diamond Tiara nodded, “I remember that day, who couldn’t? I was publicly humiliated by your granny and even Silver Spoon turned on me, although, considering how bad of a friend I was, I almost wish she had done so sooner.”
Apple Bloom didn’t reply to that, not wanting to dig herself into a deeper hole than she already had. “Because of that deal your family owed us, and with all the heckling ya’ll put me through, I had multiple opportunities t' make you suffer like Ah did.”
Diamond Tiara cast her head down. “How?”
Apple Bloom inched closer, “All it would have taken was one single lie.” Apple Bloom turned her back, “All I could have done was make a lie that portrayed you as terrible. We never really did tell any of our sisters about you during the auditions for the Equestria games. Think about it, Ah could have added a few touches to the story, made it sound as if Scootaloo's depression was worse than it actually was.”
Diamond Tiara shivered guessing where her point was going. “Y-you wouldn’t happen to be talking about-”
Apple Bloom cut her off, “A drive to suicide, one of the worst crimes of pony-kind besides murder. Think about our sisters' reactions to a pony, a filly no less, nearly driving another pony to go that far. Your reputation Would have been ruined beyond repair and ponies would stop supporting your family. Plus, it would have come from the mouths of the ponies who’ve saved Equestria countless times. Nopony would have believed you or you family, no matter how high up they are in the... what does Rarity call it? Social ladder?"
Through Apple Bloom’s tirade, Diamond Tiara couldn’t help but feel afraid. The air around her and Apple Bloom seemed to have gotten colder, as if there was a spirit breathing on her back.
“Was I really that bad? Were my actions really cold enough to bring a pony to have to felt this much hatred? Why? Why did you forgive me? I didn’t deserve any kindness, I don’t deserve anything!”
Apple Bloom paused. “Ah was really tempted to do that, ya know? It was like a little voice whispering in mah ear, it wanted to see yah suffer. It wanted you to go through the pain we went through constantly, but I refused. I knew that if I did that, then I’d be no better than you were at the time.” There was no reply, only silence that felt as if it lasted for a millennium.
“See what Ah meant earlier? A role reversal. All it would have taken was a little spark of hatred, and the situation would have turned out real different. I heard from mah sister and her friends that they visited a parallel universe to ours once. The version of me there is probably like you here, wish I could go there, Ah could talk some sense into her.”
Then there was a sound, a brief sound that seemed to echo through the clubhouse laced with emotion. They were tears, Diamond Tiara’s tears.
“I don’t get it. I really just don’t get it, how could a pony have this much of a kind heart? I’ve done so much wrong and so little good to repay you for your forgiveness. I stole your hope from you! I briefly stole your cousin from you! I’m nothing!" Diamond started pounding her hooves on the floor hard enough that the floorboards began to crack splinters, which embedded themselves in her hooves, but she didn’t care. This pain was nothing compared to the pain she put the pony in front of her through. Then the pounding stopped and Diamond Tiara felt herself being enveloped in another pony’s hooves, those hooves being Apple Bloom’s.
“Ah don’t consider you nothing, Ah consider you a friend!” Apple Bloom said. And she said it with a smile on her face, too. Diamond’s eyes began to water again, and she released a sob in the hooves of her new friend.
“Now," Apple Bloom said after a minute, "let’s get you to somepony who can get those splinters out of your hooves. it won’t hurt none, after all, Friendship is magic.”
Author's Note
I love Diamond Tiara, she's been one of my favorites since day 1 of me getting into the fandom. Even though I love crusaders of the lost mark I always felt as if the redemption was somewhat rushed. I wanted to make a story of events that happened afterwards. Constructive criticism is wanted
