I blame the sandwich!

by Tedious_Blizzard

Rating: teen
Tags: Minotaur, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Other, Original Character, Random
Length: 3053

What caused the first pony world war?

Set in an alternate-universe where tensions between countries and the Minotaur Empire are high and some of the resident ponies in the Minotaur lands are unhappy with their rule. A group of ponies select some brave indivduals who want to change history. Will it work? And what will history remember?
Disclaimer: STORY WILL NOT BE HISTORICALLY ACCURATE!
Random tag is only relevant for the end and the dark tag is only minor for planing assassinations and dark-ish theme.

I'm sorry in advance if this story happens to offend anyone as I am making a joke of quite a serious matter. Picture of sandwich from google images, horrible edit by me on paint.

Published 2017-04-07 22:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-07 13:48:12 UTC

Tensions rising...

In the beginning of the year 1908 A.N.M the Minotaur Empire had quite the sizeable empire. With this size it meant it had quite the sizeable population of all races including ponies, griffons, some diamond dogs and even some zebras from the Far Lands! Though this mightly empire's rule is not know for it's kindness to it's foreigners or it's non-minotaur residents. Throughout the years, many of the empire's non-minotaur citizens have been abused and were not allowed to leave the country or even tell anyone outside of the empire of their problems, otherwise fates worse than death awaited them. No creature outside of this sinister empire knew of it's inner turmoil due to this, and the tyrant Archduke Steel Horns reingned without problems, until a group of ponies got fed up...

Mystic Luck was having a bad day, the usual in this wretched excuse of an empire, and for him his life looked bleak and misearable. Mystic was a light green unicorn with a two-toned grey and black mane, a bit of a strange combination but he's come to terms with it, and no cutie mark (He isn't too sure of that either as he is 28 years old, but you can never enjoy anything so it's not much of a surprise). He had no real friends to count on as they would either report any traitors to the government or they have already died via firing squad or starvation. If you aren't a minotaur your not going to get far in this tyrannical part of the land. This empire wasn't always like this as his grandma told him how wonderful and friendly the empire once was, even though Mystic finds this hard to believe, and that at one point the empire just switched it's view on it's non-minotaur population one day for reasons no-one still have found out. It is difficult to believe this as every time Mystic walks home from the unsafe and poor-paying factory he sees an unlucky family getting harassed by a contingent of guards demanding for an ridiculous amount of money for which the family suddenly 'owes' the Archduke.

"The Archduke...it's all his fault! Our misery stems from his ignorance or tyranny, I still can't tell, and he must pay. One day, somepony is gonna get revenge and free us from our torment. Maybe that is my destiny? To slay the Archduke, must be a grand cutie mark", comtemplated Mystic Luck in his negative thoughts, it is the only type of thoughts he has had since the day his family died, of starvation.

At the age of 15, Mystic was left all alone when he came home one day from playing with his (now dead) friends and found his whole family dead, sitting by the table with only a note saying to keep on living. His older brother; a yellow and blue Earth pony, his mother; a green and blue Earth pony, and his father; a grey and yellow Earth pony. The only reason Mystic is not starving is because unicorns are valuable in factories and he works there to not starve.

As the memory refreshes in his mind, Mystic starts to go on autopilot to the way to his home or shack if you want to be percise. That memory weighs heavily on his mind as he remembers the times when the family got food and they let Mystic Luck have most of it. Being a child meant he never realised the situation. Ignorance is bliss, until you grow up and it hurts you more than if you weren't ignorant.

With his mind preoccupied, Mystic doesn't notice the three pony figures clad in black cloaks walking steadily towards him on the same side of the cobble road. Normally anypony suspicious would be prosecuted and immediatly imprisoned but the guards were too busy arresting a family of six and claiming their home. When Mystic finally gets out of his thoughts, just in time too, he faces three mysterious ponies waiting in front of him for his attention. It's already dark and the sun has skedaddled over the horrison, waiting for the moon to take it's rightful place at 7pm in the evening.

Stopping for a moment Mystic addreses the figures, "Who are you lot and what do you want? You're gonna get yourselves and me arrested dressed like that so make your demand snappy", Mystic never showed much kindness and his tone towards them were obvious.

Mystic tried to look at their faces or even their coat colours but the cloaks hid everything from sight, except for a small part of their noses which still showed little colour due to the lack of light.

"We have watched you for some time and you hold no respect or loyalty for the government", figure one spoke, a female.

"And our little society has decided to ask you to join to free non-minotaurs from the empire", firgure two spoke, a male.

"You can be of great service and may be able to change history, here is our address and do not loose it or let it get to the wrong hooves", figure three spoke, a male.

The third figure gave Mystic Luck a small card and he accepetd it with his magic. His magic was weak, but at least he can do levitation.

"The first meeting is tomorrow night at 6pm after curfew, do not get tracked, we need to free ourselves", and with figure one's small speech over, the three figures wandered off to wherever they are needed; probably to recruit some other poor sod with no hopes in life.

"Well that just happened", slightly confused at these revelations, Mystic continued onwards to his home.

When Mystic reached his shack at the end of the poorly maintained neighbourhood in the non-minotaur section of Traugoe city, he entered his dim home and plonked himself on his bed, exhaused of the day's work. It was a tiny shack with a tight kitchen of a stove and tap, a small squad toilet just outside the back door to a 5m squared back garden (mud garden), and a bed next to the door. The outside was bare brick and the roof was some scrap steel he found on the way home, it was better that no roof as how originally the 'house' was. Even the floor inside was just bare concrete and the Mystic's shower was the rain. It wasn't much, but it was all Mystic could afford while keeping himself fed. What the figures said to him circled around in his head and forgot to even eat before sleep claimed him.

Author's Note

Second fic so I appreciate any comments. :raritywink: Next chapter might come soon...

...Plans formed...

Dawn came too quickly for the troubled pony as the sun's rays relentlessly attacked Mystic Luck's moth-eaten curtain and his eyes. With a grumble he awoke groggily and slowly, too exhausted from the lack of sleep since last night. Mystic almost rolled off the bed and went on to his kitchen, around five steps away, cook beakfast. He was by no means a cook so every morning all Mystic had was some partially burnt toast and semi-moulded swiss cheese. The sun was still low in the sky so there was no rush to complete his morning ritual. With his zombie state of mind, Mystic has completely forgotten about what has happened last night and the ponies that had approached him for his aid.

"At least it's Sunday so no work for me at the factory, would've been a nighmare to try and work with how sleepy I am"

The only days off for rest that Mystic had was Sundays but can't really be called 'rest' days as there is no rest in Traugoe city, you were either harassed or starving and begging your employer for extra work. He would've done the same but all day every day work would be too tiring for the mind and body. You have to have a break, even if your stomach denies you it. It's unpleasant for Mystic to go by this plan, but it's all a pony can do nowadays. With his breakfast finished in silence he got up from the floor (too poor for chairs or cushions) decided he should go for a walk in the park, it was a sunny and pleasant day and the parks are always empty from guards anyway.

"Ahhh, with this wonderful sun and greenery you can probably forget everyday life," he signed and spotted a begging griffin on the sidewalk,"...probably not actually."

"Pssst"

"Huh? Who said that?", Mystic surveyed the area, but spotted nopony.

"It's us from yesterday, did you accept our offer?", this voice was coming from nowhere it seemed, but also all around Mystic.

Very suddenly, memories of last night flashed back into Mystic's mind and his pupils dilated in realisation of what had happened and more specifically the once in a lifetime offer to get away from oppression.

"Well, mister or missus can't tell for some reason, I hadn't really thought about it all that much but I am willing to be set free", Mystic was a bit unsure with his answer but deep down he knew he had to take it.

"Good, there has a been a change of plans and you have to meet us in half an hour with our intented location, the one on the card. We are eager to meet you without our hoods. Hurry", with that last note the voice seemingly trailed off and was also a sign for Mystic to gallop home to see what was on the card.

And so he did.

When Mystic arrived home later on he dashed for the card on the unstable tabletop. The address shown to him was only a few streets away, something he was glad for as he wasn't an athlete. With the information in mind Mystic sprinted towards the meeting point, eager to start his new journey.

A few minutes later he arrived at the house, it was shoddy, unsafe, boarded up, mouldly (like most of the food) and covered in vines. Just like any normal pony house in Taugoe city. Nervously he walked up to it, steeled his nerves an kncoked serveral times. For a moment he wondered if he got the address wrong and screwed everything up. Luckily not (that would be embarassing) as the door opened slightly and a weak voice greeted him.

"Come in, come in little one!", it sounded old and frayed, much like everything Mystic owned.

With the invitation Mystic walked into the abode, and immediatly the door shut behind him and a knife was pressed against his fragile throat.

"Will you not tell anymintoaur of this location and swear on your life that you will be loyal to your race?", a more strong and demanding voice spoke to Mystic this time.

"Y-yes sir! I-I will n-not betray my race, e-ever!", this ordeal made Mystic rethink his decision for a bit.

"Good come in"

The knife was lowered out of his view and tentatively he walked further into the house.

"No need to scare the poor young fella, come on he already agreed to help us", the old voice backed him up.

"Yeah but I need to make sure, you never know if he is a spy", the strong voice replied.

As Mystic's eyes readjusted to the darker room he saw several ponies, two earth ponies, two unicorns and two pegasi.

"Well I think it's time to introduce ourselves, I'm Cypher", a all bue pegasus mare said with green eyes.

"Boulder", a grassy green coated and brown maned stallion earth pony with red eyes.

"Jingles", a slate grey coated and hot pink maned unicorn mare with yellow eyes.

"Starfire", a dark purple coated and magenta maned pegasus mare with bright pink eyes.

"Nugget", the old light brown coated and golden maned earth pony stallion with dull grey eyes.

"Edge, and you better stay true to your word", a (mean) unicorn stallion with dark red coat and yellow mane with wine red eyes.

"Don't worry I will, and the name's Mystic", everypony didn't give thier second name so he didn't aswell.

"You seem like a fine addition so lets get started", Jingles pulled out a map of sorts with ink marks everywhere, or 'battle words' as he later found out.

For hours the group began to talk about how to take down the Archduke and what their roles would each be, they all agreed to try and assassinate the Archduke as there was a minotaur festival of sorts coming up in less than a week. The plans were hastily made but underneath their determainted gazes all these ponies wanted to be set free from their lives, whether they were to succeed or not was down to their luck in the end.

... Plans foiled?

Mystic and the group enacted their plan just a week later. Straight after work on the day the assassination was supposed to take place, Mystic headed over to the city central where Archduke Steel Horns was hosting a festival. The rest of the group were already at the festival making sure Mystic would have a clear line of sight and no problems assassinating Steel Horns. He walked for hours as the black and red locomotives was reserved for minotaurs only and he didn't have enough money for a ticket anyway. As the scenery changed from rustic and derelict to modern and spotless housing and streets, Mystic knew he was closer to where he had to be. The team agreed he would arrive at the festival when it is ending and he would be positioned near the bridge/edge of the market so when the Archduke comes about in his carridge he could kill him.

Kill... can I really do this? I know he made countless creature's lives terrible and spreads dispair by just breathing but I'm no murderer. I was brought up by a peaceful family, not a vengeful one.

Minutes passed with thoughts of murder but also hesitation, and the Archduke has still not shown up. The streets were relatively clear with not many creatures around.
Did I come too late or something?

With the fact that the Archduke wasn't nearby and his mind not entirely on board with the idea of murder, Mystic walked away towards the bustling market. He didn't drop his knife (given to him by Edge) though, there are many uses of a knife aside form assassination and he was poor enough to not have many utensils anyway.
Mystic signed in resignation that he couldn't complete his mission and would've dissapointed everyone. He wasn't that enthusiastic of this whole plan so it should've been a huge surprise.
One of the stands in the market were selling foods of all kinds, even a lone cheese and lettuce sandwich. For some reason, even though Mystic wasn't really that hungry, he trotted towards the stand with two bits that came out of nowhere ready to give to the stand owner.
"Hey, how much for that sandwhich?", drool was dripping out of his mouth now.
"Just two bits please", a young green-tinted griffoness with a smirk replied to the hungry pony.

With his sandwich between his teeth, Mystic trotted away. Suddenly though, Mystic's hungry vanished and looked at the half-eaten sandwich in a funny way. What is up with this sandwich? Suddenly I'm hungry then I'm not. Make up your mind!
" I shall do what I please"
Mystic jumped at the voice,but held the sandwich with a hoof firmly,"Who said that!"
"I did, you know the sandwich you were mutilating just a second ago?"
Looking down in horror at the sandwich, Mystic shrieked loudly,"EAHH!"
Half of the crowd in the market stared at the crazy stallion shouting at a sandwich in confusion and disgust.
"Well done you nummy, now we both look insane. Hey you might want to check in on the hospital by the way, you mouth is stuck open."
This was the most confusing and strange situation Mystic has probably ever been in, he didn't even know how to properly respond to a situation like this.
"Are you gonna kill the Archduke or what? I won't be fresh forever you know and I'll force you to close your mouth if you don't"
Promptly Mystic closed him mouth out of fear of the telepathic sandwich. ~~A wild Archduke appears!~~ Mystic blinked as he realised that the Archduke was in his carridge coming down the road slowly towards him.
Well, uhhh that was convenient. At least I still have my knife... wait a second, I wasn't in favour for killing the Archduke!
"Yeah well change of plans, your my pawn now and when you have finished your duty you will either be exicuted or suicide out of insanity, have a fun life!"

Mystic's limbs moved on their own and the sandwhich vanish into the air, but somehow Mystic still felt that strange presence in his mind. He mentally began to panic as the sandwich's words sunk in. His struggling was in vain however as he was still moving towards the slow-moving carridge and wasn't even able to scream. His consciousness faded and was replaced temporarily by evil.
"Great, full control now. I have a war to start.", Mystic's face contorted into a wide maniac smile as he bradished his knife-turned serrated dagger.
In a span of a few seconds, 'Mystic' leaped onto the open-top carridge and gouged the dagger into the Archduke's chest and gave back control over to Mystic which only had a second to realise he had regained his consciousness before ten guards tackled him and knocked him out.

Several months later, in a high security pony-prison, Mystic was in rusty chains dangling from the concave ceiling in a moulding and tiny stone cell. His days were spent like this, only coming down to eat some rotten apples and all the while mumbling incoherent words in an unknown langauge and sometimes the word 'sandwich' pops up....

With a smile Cherilee closed the dusty tome and looked over at her distraught and traumatized class of young children.
"Now wasn't that an informative and enlightening book on Equestria's first war?"

THE END

Author's Note

Why did I even start this story :facehoof: