Stuck in Equestria with my Grandma

by Gmasters132

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Human, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 5571

After getting lost in a forest, Montgomery (Monty for short) finds himself in a new land full of colorful ponies with no way of getting out. And to get things worst he is with his odd grandmother in this land full of danger and rainbows.

After getting lost in a forest, Montgomery (Monty for short) finds himself as well as his grandmother in a new land full of colorful, talking ponies with no apparent way of getting out. With the aid of his new friends, he has to overcome the obstacles in his way of getting back home, as well as comprehend the oddity of his grandmother and the secrets she hides from him and his whole family.

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Tags and characters may change as the story goes on.
This story takes place In between season 6, more or less. And that thing about Twilight going to Earth and becoming a teenager well……., that never happen.
Rater M for mature language. you know, the kind of words immature people use. Also, maybe I will try more spicy stuff, maybe not. who knows.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-19 02:20:01 UTC

Ch1 - That is what my gut is telling me

The sight of houses, stores and coffee shops in the streets are quickly changed to trees, trees, and more trees as we travel all the way from the comfortable city to my prison, to my punishment, to my worst nightmare other way known as ‘family reunion'.

I Look at the forest in front of me as I think about all the other things I could do during this vacation instead of going to.. to THIS. I could go to paintball field with my friends, go skateboarding. I could have seen the new Y-Men movie; I hear that it is the last movie we will see with that actor who is the only reason we keep seeing those movies in the first place. I could even go and ask Martha for a date, maybe, I don't know, that's a possibility, right?

"Monty….MONTY!" I hear my mother finally screaming at me while I was pretending to not hear her. "Monty, are you listening? Can you please clean your little sister mouth, she could be drawn with her own barf" She says from the left front seat of the car while my dad drives on the other side.

I look at my 3-year-old sister bond to a baby seat of the car like if she was in one of those mental institutes for crazy people. "Calm down Mom, she is ok Is just a little spit of milk," I say as I clean her her cheek with my shirt and making funny faces earning a cute laugh from her.

"But not with your shirt sweetie, we have to look nice for your new sister-in-law. We need to have a good first impression don't you think? Or did you forget about it?" Sure, how can I forget about that? Not seriously I am asking, how can I forget about it? My mom and dad just don't stop talking about my oldest brother, Jimmy getting marry with a woman of a prestigious family or something like that.

"Oh, and we forget to tell you that Sammy is about to get his doctorate in medicine so we have organized him a party for him too. We even invited all of his friends. So don't ruin your clothes before the party would you, son?" My dad says adjusting the rear-view mirror to look at me as well as looking behind him parking the car next to the cabin. Without knowing we had already arrived at my jail.

"What? Are we going to have a party? Why hasn't anyone told me before? And why does he have a part? No one throws me a party when I pass 8th grade" I complain well I getting out of the car slamming the door that makes the baby cry.

"Ush, Ush, Samantha. there-there," My Mom says well releasing all the harness from the costume made baby seat she order. "You mean barely pass. You almost fail the semester, Remember? Seriously Monty Jimmy and Sammy pass with straights A's in their high schools. Sure you can do better than that in yours." She says making emphasis in the last word.

I roll my eyes "Yea sure mom, sorry for being the shame of the family," I say grabbing my old and trustworthy blue backpack out from the back of the car. I have to do it by myself since there wasn't anybody to do it for me. Dad has given them all a vacation for the week.

"Augh, Monty don't be so melodramatic. And I am going to tell you this before you over react, Grandma call and she says that she is coming to the party too"

And as if someone had thrown a baseball into my weak spot I let go of my backpack." Grand's coming?!"

                                                                                                                    ~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day pass as I expected. The party was as boring as any other party my parents organize. Full of fancy stuff with a fancy food and all. I just keep staring at Sammy's friends while they slowly die of boredom as finally, they went in a limousine to, as they call it, a real party.

Many people believe that having parents with a multimillion company will be great, it isn't. It Is waaaaaay too boring to have everything you want whenever you want. I know this isn't a very popular thought but screw them, what would they know. At the age of 8, I realize I really didn't have any friends, real friends like the ones I see in T.V. cartoons. I prefer a million times the public school I am attending now than that private school full of spoiled kids that my parents wanted me to go.

"Well is getting late. Why don't we prepare everything for some smores and sing songs around a campfire" My dad says when he finishes congratulates my brother, once again,  and say goodbye to him and all his friends not before he told them the risks of partying too hard.

"Ho good idea Albert. Jimmy, why don't you come with me to grab some firewood in the forest " My grandma says with her trembling voice well pointing at me with her walking stick.

"Grand he is not Jimmy, I am Jimmy, did you take your pills?" My oldest brother says entering the room with my soon-to-be-sister. "And is better if I goo instead, is getting late and soon it will get dark"

"No, is ok, he can come with me I will protect him if something happens. And thanks for reminding me about my pills Sweety" Grand says grabbing Jimmy's cheek and sticking her hand into the big old purse of hers and pull out a tube with green and yellow pills in it and taking two of them swallowing them as a goose swallows its food.

"I need no protection. I am already all grown up thank you very much. And who is saying I want to go? " I say while giving her a glare.

My grandma looks at me with eyes that I really couldn't read. I never know what is in her mind.

"C'mon Monty, you know Grands. She always do whatever she wants. You must have gotten used to it by now." My brother says while putting a hand in my head petting it.

Grand uses to travel a lot in her younger days for her work. Maybe that's why she has a lot of hobbies. Now that she is retired, she still travels a lot but we don't know why or where most of the times. We know she travels around the world only because of the few times she sends postcards of the different places she goes. From Egypt to Australia and from South America to the North pole. She always goes traveling the world without even a goodbye, one day she is eating dinner with us the other she is gone for years.

"C'mon everyone, is getting dark. Why are you taking so long to come over here? Monty, could you please go already fo some wood its getting cold out here" My mom screams from the backyard where we usually make the camp fire.

"Ugh, I am on my way!" I scream at my mother while I go to get my backpack and coat. "I am going alone if you don't mind," I say to my grandma while taking my phone and earphones out of my backpack and put them on while I get out the cabin into the forest.

                                                                                                                    ~~~~~~~~~

The sun has just hidden into the west horizon. The animals in the forest start to get ready to sleep only for the nocturnal creatures to start hunting for their food. The first start of the night has already appeared in the dark sky. I heard that if you are the first one to see the first start of the night your most wanted wish will be granted at the start of the next day. I really hope it isn't true though. I can't wait until morning to get my most wanted wish granted.

"Where the fuck am I?" I ask out loud to no one in particular. hoping for someone to answer. I was collecting dry pieces of wood for the fire but I guess in between the complaints about my life and my music I get distracted and swerve off the path because I didn't recognize where I was.

"Great, I have no signal in here, damn Verizon. GPS isn't working either" I say walking and looking at my phone trying to get it to work. Since I have memory, I always use this forest as my playground, I should have known it as the palm of my hand but….

"Ugh? HAAAAAAA!"  I scream well I was falling down a hill that was hidden between some bushes. The sudden falling makes me lose the firewood I was caring as well as my phone.

"Ugh, dammit," I say as I examined my right leg in which I was bleeding out as well as some bruise and cuts all over the rest of my body." luckily I have a first aid kid in my backpack, wait? where is my phone?"

While looking for my phone I examine where exactly I have fallen. Apparently, I didn't fall from a hill, it was a hole in the ground. Deep enough to hide a tree. It was full of vegetation and vines covering the sides. "That's why I didn't see it." I thought to myself blaming the vegetation than myself.

Expecting carefully my surroundings I see my phone stock in some branches all the way on the other side of the hole from where I was. "How the heck did it goes all the way there"

And as I walk and lay down to reach it from the ground I feel pain going through one of my fingers." Ouch! what a sharp piece of wood" I say while liking the cut in my finger.

But I stop all my movements when I notice the low sound of breathing from something in my surroundings." That isn't a squirrel"

My blood gets cold as I notice the sharp branches holding my phone moves like fingers, or should I say claws dragging my phone into the darkness. A big silhouette caught my eyes as well as a pair of yellow glowing eyes with no pupils from behind some vines. It seems that the vines hide some sort of cave or a tunnel from where this creature keeps staring at me.

I took slow steps back trying to run from the beast but the only thing I accomplish was cornering myself into the limits of the hole. Now I was between the rock and a hard place.

"Oooooowhoo!"

I heard the howling of the beast taking steps towards me. It is then that I finally could see the creature. its sharp fangs and big size of what I think is a wolf but with no fur is seeing thanks to the pale light of the moon. The strange but intimidating wolf was reaching out to me but I didn't give it enough time to do whatever he was planning to do with me before I let out a loud scream, a scream that probably was in a very high-pitch for a man to be able to make.

But regardless of that, the scream takes the wolf by surprise because it took steps back into the tunnel hiding between the darkness of it. But not before I notice a small grim and the sound of a subtle laugh echoing in the tunnel.

"Di-did that wolf just laughs at me?" I thought. "I have to get out of here quick," I say as I took my backpack from the ground.  But before leaving, an unsettling feeling pass through my head. You need a quick pick from the tunnel, You need to see what is in there.

"No, I can't. What if the wolf comes back" I say out loud trying to convince myself of not doing it. But the more I think about it, the more I want it to take a look. Something in my guts is screaming at me to do it.

With my curiosity winning over my sense of self-preservation I move the vines blocking the tunnel and took a pick in the dark.

"Here dear, you can use this"

"No thanks, I have a flashlight I think." I say as a hand retires a lighted torch in front of me.

"let's go then. let's see where this tunnel leads to. You wouldn't let an old woman go alone through this  tunnel, would you?" My grandma says as she took a step forward into the tunnel with a torch made up of wood and a rope of some sort around the point of the piece of wood stepping inside the dark.

"GRAND! Where? What? How did you…?" I say in surprise to my grandma who was already relative far into the tunnel." W-wait, Wait for me!"

As I enter the tunnel I grab my phone that was a drag before by that thing only to find out that it broke. The screen has a small scratch and it didn't stop glitching showing the time passing from 10:00 to 10:44 and back to 10:00 and so on so I decide to turn it off for the moment.

"How do you find me?" I say finally reaching up to her, for an old lady she walks fast.

"I hear the sound of women in troubles so a went to check it out and found you, how about you? How you end it up in here?" Grand says

while she keeps walking with her walking stick.

"Huu? Ho! Yea right I-I hear the woman too hehe" I lied scratching the back of my head while trying to avoid eye contact. "I hear the scream and went to check it out. But what are you doing in the middle of the forest? in the middle of the night?"

"Well, isn't that obvious Jimmy? I was looking for you. We get worried when you didn't come back. After a few hours, I come looking for you."

"And where did you get the torch?"

"But from my purse of, course" Grands say tapping with her fingers the big old lady purse in her hands. "I never get out with some torch fuel and a lighter in hand Sweaty. What I have always told you?"

"That you should always be prepared for anything," I say rolling my eyes. Telling the truth, she is the reason I have my backpack with a med kit with me at the first place, but to be prepared with the materials needed for a torch. Grandma is hardcore.

"Exactly Jimmy, I had thought you well"

"Grands, for the last time I am not Jim-"

"Shuu, Jimmy do you hear that?" Grands ask interrupting me. As I stay quiet and listen I was able to hear the sound of drops of water falling. And not only that, I smell humidity, the smell of dirt recently getting wet.

"Is it... raining? But I didn't see any clouds in the sky when we enter here" I say while finally noticing something strange with the tunnel. I couldn't see the moonlight from where we enter. Even though the entrance was cover in veins, I could still see the pale light of the night trough it the last time I check but now I just see pitch black.

"I think it comes from the other side of the tunnel, c'mon Jimmy," Grandma says increasing the volocity of her walking.

"Wait, Grand. I think we should go back. There is something strange in here and I don't like it." I say in vain as my grandmother walks out of the end of the tunnel.

The other side of the tunnel was cover in vines like the other side. But where the other side was inside a hole this end was on a mountain. And, as we thought, it was raining but it wasn't big enough to kill the fire of the torch. We were still in the forest; I can still see the trees but something was odd about it. It didn't feel the same.

"Grand, I don't like it in here we better go back, I satisfy my curiosity already. Let's just go home"

"Jimmy where is your sense of adventure, let's explore a little bit more we could find something interesting." The old lady says walking into the forest with me behind.

"Something interesting? What can we even find in a forest that will be even remotely in-ter-est-ing?" I say with my words cutting off as I see what it was in front of me. We have walked reaching the edge of the mountain and from a few kilometers from where we were standing, we were able to see a big castle. The castle appears to be old and abandoned a long time ago.

"Wait, is that a castle? WAIT! are we on the high up from a mountain?! How in heavens do we get here? We were at ground level when we enter the tunnel and we walk in a straight line. And what the heck with that castle? I never see that before" I say watching from the edge.

"Jimmy, watch your language, also I think there are bigger problems to be concern with"

"What could be more important than this." I say moving both hands and pointing at the castle.There is when I notice, the feeling of something watching us from the shadow of the forest and the sound of branches breaking.

The sound of howling and the approaching of shadowing figures coming out of the forest make my blood ice cold once again as I recognize those shadow figures."Of course, there are more. Wolfs always hunts in packs"

"Ho, but these aren't ordinary wolfs, deer" Grand say with her unchanged trembling voice looking everywhere with at the surroundings;

I didn't think twice of what my grandma means by that. As soon as the wolfs come out of the shadows I realize that what I have in front of me wasn't natural.

"Are they..... made up of wood?" But I didn't have time for an answer as one of those wolfs jumps at us.

" Ho CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!"

Ch2 - I just can't get a rest.

Ch2 - I just can't get a rest.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I scream at the full force of my lungs as the sensation of free falling fills me up.

All I wanted for this vacations was to spend a good time with my friends. laughing, watching movies, playing video games, just having fun. And how I can forget about Martha. The prettiest girl in the school, his long blond hair, her freckles, and her beautiful green eyes. One could spend hours and hours looking at those eyes of her. It was pretty hard not the get in love with her. When I came back, I promise I am going to tell her what really fi----.

"Ugh.... HAA!" The sudden stop from my fall as well as the feel of the air escaping my lungs interrupt me from my thoughts. The desperate attempt to gasp for air makes me cough uncontrollably.

.

"Ho my god" *Cough* *Cough* "Am-am I still alive?" *Cough* I attempt to say scratching my eyes and looking at my surroundings. That is when I notice why I was coughing so hard, the air was full of some sort of yellowish dust. When I look what have stopped my falling I comprehend what that yellow dust was. I was on top of a yellow Mushroom full of black spots and with the size of a Queen-size bed.

"Ewww, I am full of mushroom semen. haha, shrom semen." I say remembering biology class and how my friends and I laugh at that a particular lesson." I remember the day like it was yesterday. We were at summer school and it was pretty hot outside. The air conditioner of all the classroom was turn off to save energy. One of my favorite teachers, Mrs. Jackez was teaching us about how mushrooms reprod-"*Slap* I hit myself in the cheeks with both hands  " What the heck am I thinking. Focus man, focus. Ho no, Grandma?" I ask at loud finally realizing in the situation I was.

"Grand? Grand where are you?!"  My grandma shushes me from behind a tree cleaning out leafs from her grayish hair and letting me know that she was ok.

"Thank god...wait?...What the fuck was that!" I say remembering how Grand push me out of the cliff seconds before one of those wooden wolves takes a chunk of my trout. " Don't you think you could have warned me abou- Ouch!!!!" I scream as a sudden pain runs trough my molars just seconds after grand's walking stick moves towards my mouth.

"I have to talk to your mom about this lenguage of yours. But first, let get out of here and fast. They are still around" She says looking around the forest.

"Ok Grand. First, Ow!. Second, the wolves are up there" I say pointing with a finger at the top of the cliff where we can see the wolves staring at us from above while walking in circles around the edge. "And third...... Please don't tell my mother"

Grand was about to open her mouth only to be interrupted by the loud howling of one of the wolves, so loud that we needed to cover our ears. Seconds later we see how some of those creatures jump out the cliff only to crash on the ground turning them into pieces of timber. "Hey Timberwolf that's how we should call them, it have a good ring to it" I thought. "Wait, no no FOCUS." I say out loud. Apparently, I hit my head somehow when I was falling or something.

"Jimmy, stay close to me, quick," she says picking some branches from the ground. That's when I finally know why grandma was so nervous, pieces of timber slowly move by themselves and regroup to form its previous form again. One by one starts standing up and from their eyeholes, eyes start to glow with a green light once again.

*shis**shis* I hear behind me the sound of a lighter trying to light follow by the bright of a torch in Grand's hands behind what makes the wolves stop approaching us. But it wasn't enough, the wolves stop at the sight of the torch in its head but without taking a step back. It's a larger number overwhelm us. When we put the fire close to one, 3 more gets close to us what make us taking steps back instead of them.

"Grand, do you happen to have more touches?" I ask with my grandmother behind me and extending my hands in defense matter without leaving eye contact at the monster while Grand extend the fire on top of my head.

"Sorry, I only have the fuel ." She says while shielding us from the wolves by moving the torch from left to right at the creatures face. "You need to help me. Jimmy take care of them one by one. I will be going to keep the rest from you. Don't worry, I have your back."

"Wat!!!" I exclaim looking at the unchanged face of grand trying to find out if that was just a cruel joke before our inevitable demise or if she was serious about it "God dammit I never know what is in her mind"

"Ready Jimmy here comes one." Grand says while I see one of those wolfs trying to take a bite at my face. Everything moves in slow motion. There is when my instinct kicks in. Making a step forwards I place myself at the side of that thing avoiding the bite from her sharp wood fangs and before he have time to react at my sudden movement I took my pose and raise my fist followed by a punch to the solid piece of timber that made up the creature torso breaking it in half.

The torso seems to be the creature's weak point because as soon as I break it, the wolf implodes sending the remindings of its body parts all over the forest.

"Good job Jimmy. I see you keep with the lessons I ask you to do"

"OUCH OUCH OUCH!" I say moving my hand trying to ease the pain with tears in my eyes."How do I even do that?" My grandma seems happy to have though me self-defense, at least at first, Later on, when she leaves, she send an old Asian lady who says that was an old friend of her to keep teaching me a mix of different martial arts as well as a rigorous workout program. I wonder if she will get mad finding out I leave her lessons early. At least I didn't leave before I learn how to break pieces of wood boards with my beard hand, it is a cool party trick.

The sudden implosion of one of his comrades didn't seem to affect the wolves as they keep chasing us. We were like this for a few minutes. I, breaking the wolves torso one by one and my Grand in my back scaring the rest with the torch. But we, at least I, couldn't do this for much longer. My right hand was beginning to go numb and to get swollen.

"Oh God, we are going to die! We are going to die!" I say finally crying as I saw more green eyes coming out from the dark of the forest." Grand, I can't do this anymore, more and more of those things keeps coming. Do something"

"Yes, It seems that that last howl was a call for more of its pack." She says holding me closer with his free arm struggling with the timberwolves with the other.

A loud thunder was heard in the night's sky reminding us that it was still raining. The loud noise was followed by larger drops of water falling down the sky. Now with this and the fact that the torch was lit for almost an hour bu now makes me fear that the fire, the only thing that stops those creatures to have a bite to our heads, will die soon.

Grand seems to notice this and she takes out something from her purse. She then hands me the rest a fuel for the fire, it was a can with a  gel that easy burns used to start small fires. She uses some of the gel to start the torch but she still needs some rope or something so the piece of wood didn't burn fast. she also gives me a lighter, a silver metal lighter with the initial J. H. inscribed on it.

"Here, take this and don't move" I didn't have time to process what she meant as Grand takes out a whistle and blow it but it didn't make any sound. But that it didn't seem the same for the timberwolves as the whistle make them paralyze for a few seconds. The green glow of his eyes no longer there. Their entire body shakes, each part of their wooden bodies moves independently of each other making a sound of wood against wood.

At the same time as that happen. Grand put herself on the left side of me and extend her left arm putting it so it touches my throat. Then she uses her right foot to push forward one of my own foot. The simple motion makes me fall in my back hurting my head as well as covering myself in mud."I think she finds out I skip my training" She then grab a bush nearby and with one hand she takes it off from the ground with roots and all. (Don't ask me how she did it because I don't know.) and put it on top of me as an attempt of camouflage.

While I was in the mud trying to recover from the buzzing in my ears caused by the crash of my head with the floor of the forest, my grandmother was already behind the wolves. With the almost death fire from her touch and some statements that say something about the timberwolves mother, Grand runs back into the forest bringing the attention of all the wolves who were there and go chase up to her living me alone.

After a while, when finally my heart stops its beating like crazy and I gather the enough energy to stand up I look at the direction from where my Grand goes. "Well, that's a pity but it will not be miss." I say while taking a quick look at myself. My cuts and bruises where all cover in mud and vegetation from the surroundings.

Fearing for an infection I seat near a tree which leaves gives some decent protection from the rain. I took my first aid kit from my backpack and opened. It was full of bandages of all sizes and shapes, scissors, gloves eyes washes and more. I take out the disinfectant cream and use it on my leg that was the one in the worst state. "Aaaaa, shit if I have known this hurt that much I wouldn't have done that."I say putting the cream back thinking that the other cuts can wait for the moment and bandage my knee. My injuries weren't as bad as I first thought, just some small cuts on my arms and face. The worst injury I had was in my right knee from when I fall from the hole as well as my right hand that was a little swollen.

The lighting follows by the loud thunder could be still heard but with less frequency. At some point, the lightning emitted enough light so I was able to see houses at the distance."A town? How far am I from the cabin?" The town was not so far from where I was sitting. Getting ready to go there, a strange filing goes through my head, that I need to stay low and jump forward. Obeying my instincts, I oblige to this sensation rolling in the ground and crashing into a nearby tree with my legs up in the air just before a fast claw rose my head. I feel how those claws cut through some of my hairs."How the hell does a piece of wood can get so sharp?"  I thought while I stare at the timberwolf upside down in front wanting a piece of me.

I stand up and start running towards the town without looking back but I still could hear the sound of its footsteps on the muddy floor of the forest and the sound of breathing in my neck. Running as fast as I can, I didn't notice one of the roots from one of the trees in front of my was poking out of the ground, not until I face tho floor once again because of it. I knew that I will not be able to stand in time to run again before he got me, no with this leg. I can't hit it like I did with the others with the conditions my right hand is and it was impossible to do it with my left one, I don't have the enough force or training to pull something like that with the left one.

"Ho crap, think, think what my grandma will do? Grand!" I exclaim putting my good hand into the pocket of my coat. With the creature at mere inches of me and I being in the ground I kick its wooden chin of his stunting it for a few second. The enough time to throw the can with the fire fuel at it. The creature catches the can and crushes it with its fangs making its content to leak all over its face."Perfect" I say with the lighter already lit in my hand throwing it.

Even with the rain, the fire catches relative easy burning the monster face with a green flame. The wood wolf just moves its head up and down and jumps like a bull with a cowboy on its back trying to put the fire out. The last thing I saw was it disappearing into the deeps of the forest.

While I was still on the ground trying to calm my heart once again from the fast heartbeat a stare at the clouds from which rain has just stopped along with all the lightning and thunder leaving the sky with only heavy clouds. While I saw the night sky, I see what could be the biggest bird I ever see in my life. If I have to judge it by how far I think they were from me, I will say that they were at the size of a big dog, of those dogs that a kid could ride or maybe of a small horse.

I keep staring at the group of big birds that starts flying towards the direction of the town." Ho, that cloud looks like an elephant, hahaha funny" I laugh at myself. "Jesus! I think I have a concution" I thought finally coming back into the real world. "I need to find help." I say finally walking towards the town.