My Biggest Fan-atic

by deadpansnarker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Starlight Glimmer, Mystery, Spike, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3783

Twilight has somepony following her around, who seems to be able to gain access to anywhere. Only problem is, none of her friends believe her, and she's slowly cracking up. Is it really all in her head, and if not, who won't leave her alone?

Twilight has somepony following her around, who seems to be able to gain access to anywhere. Only problem is, none of her friends believe her, and she's slowly cracking up. Is it really all in her head, and if not, who won't leave her alone?

The answer won't come easy...

Published 2017-04-07 09:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-07 09:50:01 UTC

Part 1: Twilight

I write this from the restrictive confines of my present environment. My only hope is that it reaches at least somepony who will believe me, or I fear all hope truly is lost.

My ordeal began when I was on the way back from Fluttershy's, to see her new ornately carved bird table. It was so long ago now, I barely even remember if I liked it or not. She might have even gotten rid of it since then.

The point is, on my route home from that seemingly innocuous trip, would be the start of another journey that would change my life forever. Not in a 'the world's a brighter place, let's go out for pancakes' kind of way, either.

Spike had accompanied me, as he often does. He didn't get that reputation as No.1 assistant for nepotism alone, you know. This meant I was traveling on the ground as opposed to the sky, as my dragon friend hasn't learned to fly yet. I'm sure he's just a late bloomer, he just needs to grow a bit before... oops, I'm babbling. I tend to do a lot of that. You'll have to excuse me if I make a habit of that during this account.

Anyway, we were aimlessly talking about the weather and whatnot, when I heard this slight rustling behind me. Now, I know what you're going to say... 'it's just the wind, Twilight, or an innocent passing woodland creature. You're being paranoid, just ignore it.' Well, HA to you! You're falling into the same trap they want me to, and I flat-out refuse. I won't let my guard down, I won't sleep with my eyes closed and I won't remove all this stuff barricading my...

Okay, I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. What I'm trying to say is, after carefully evaluating the air around me to discover there wasn't even the merest hint of a breeze, and concentrating on the fact that we were now many yards away from any scrubland, both of my previous hypothesis were quickly discarded. Spike was urging me on, desperate to use the little drake's room back at the castle. My ever-curious mind was desperate to uncover the root cause of this mysterious sound, though. I wouldn't rest until...

There. There it was again... this time, coming from a nearby bush. That must be the origin of the odd noise! Leaves make rustling sounds, yes? And what are bushes comprised of? Exactly. Twilight Sparkle, you're a genius! Ponies said those book smarts were useless and would cost you the opportunity to make lots of friends... well, who's beloved by all of Ponyville, and has a handy dandy little sceptre engraved 'Princess Of Friendship'? Here's a hint: None of my childhood critics! Boo-ya... oops, is that an appropriate phrase for a member of the royal family to utter? Well, it's out there now.

Regardless, now that I'd ascertained the starting point for the gentle sound, it was time to put this matter to bed. It was probably some random fan of mine, who wanted to get close to their idol but didn't have the courage to face me directly. I've no idea why... I make myself as open to the public as possible, and even refuse to use my official title except for big state occasions. Oh, and when I go home to Canterlot to see my parents, but only as a joke: "Princess, your soup is ready." "Princess, where would you like to sit?" "Princess, when do you want to take your daily shower?" Oh, the laughs we have! Precious little of that lately, though.

Back to the present. I'm umming and arring about whether to inform my hidden admirer that they shouldn't be shy, or simply part the foliage myself to give them a surprise they won't forget in a hurry. In the end, my dragon companion makes my mind up for me. In the midst of holding his bladder while doing his little dance, he accidentally knocks me into the bush horn-first. I brace myself for the worst, ready to apologise for impaling the poor little mite cowering inside. I can just see the pending lawsuit and the scandalous front covers now...

None of that actually happened, though. In hindsight, maybe I wish it had, that would have been considerably less stressful than reality, but on with the story. I anxiously opened my eyes in the middle of this urban greenery to discover... precisely nothing. Just a load of soil that I'd have to wash off when I got home, and a candy wrapper which simply read 'Foal Fizzies'. Apparently, some kind of sherbet confection. Huh, never heard of it. I never was much interested in sweets as a filly, they can rot your teeth as well as your mind. Give me a twelve volume expose on the effects of planetary erosion instead, any day.

In any case, at least now I'd come some way to discovering the identity of my avid follower. Judging by the height they'd have to be to fit snugly into this bush, and the age range of the purchased goody wrapper they'd rather irresponsibly discarded, I'd put them in about the 6-9 age bracket. How cute! My little 'stalker' was a kid.

Amused, I pulled myself out of the hedge and looked around smilingly to see if I could spot any trace of my secretive fan, but no such clues were forthcoming. It may seem unbelievable in hindsight, but at the time I was actually charmed by the situation. I was even going to spend a segment of my afternoon attempting to track down the junior snooper, until a slight mane tug from Spike reminded me he was just about fit-to-burst.

Sighing in defeat, I reluctantly led the way back to my castle so he could finally unburden himself of his bodily fluids, but not before noticing a sudden gust of wind pick up and blow the much-studied candy paper away, somewhere over the horizon. How strange... the breeze has been completely placid all morning. Perhaps a somewhat ominous harbinger of things to come, but not a sign I thought much at the time. Oh, how I wish I had.

.........................................................................................................................

I seem to recall it was a pretty uneventful day after that. Spike barely made it in time to the facilities, I restocked some much-requested books, and there were more friendship lessons with Starlight Glimmer, who was rapidly turning into quite the prodigy.

It was a big coup getting her as a student, almost worth ending the world for... my apologies. I'm trying my best to be funny, but it's not coming through, is it? You'll have to forgive my lack of humour, after recent events I'm somewhat out of practice. Feeling you're under scrutiny and persecution 24/7 will do that to you. As well as rampant hallucinations, talking to yourself, extreme isolation...

But we'll get to them later. In the meantime, let's discuss my bedtime routine that particular evening, which usually consisted of a glass of water, a daisy sandwich and a giant checklist of things I have to do for the next day... no biggie. I just don't like to be taken unawares, that's all. Life is just so much easier when everything is planned in advance, with no maneuvering room for unforeseen shocks or surprises. I mean, if we were all as flippant as Pinkie Pie, then we might as well put Discord back in charge of everything right now, ha ha! ...No laughs? Okay.

It's as I was adjusting my reading glasses and about to take my first bite that I heard it. Again. This time, all the way from the uppermost floor of my large dwelling. Inside my former home, the much-missed Golden Oaks library, such a noise wouldn't have been too out-of-the-ordinary since there was a tree branch right by my front window, that often brushed against the glass.

This however was somewhat different, since there wasn't a scintilla of plantlife anywhere near my newly-elevated sleeping quarters, so the return of the rustling was somewhat of an enigma. Never one to back down from a good old-fashioned mystery, I swept aside the extra-large piece of paper upon which was scribed tomorrow's routine, to thoroughly investigate the phenomena.

Upon sticking my head outside and lighting up my horn to peruse the area with more efficiency, I quickly reached the same conclusion as before... nopony was there. At this late hour, they'd all be tucked up in bed, blissfully unaware of the silly concerns of their Princess as they slept the night away. Maybe it's about time I did the same, big day tomorrow. That pet show isn't going to judge itself, after all...

Wait! What's that on the ground? It couldn't be... unable to contain my curiosity for a moment longer, I hovered down to the ground to take a closer look. Yup, another empty container of 'Foal Fizzies', this time right by my official place of residence. This can't be a coincidence... somepony is actively staking me out, and some mother isn't supervising their colt/filly properly. Honestly, wandering around at this hour, so dangerous!

My concern for the well being of this imaginary youngster though was merely a distraction for my own growing anxiety. It was stupid really... some kid following me around, who disappears at a moment's notice, leaving behind no record of their presence apart from a insignificant sweetie wrapper? This is as nothing compared to facing down Tirek, defeating Nightmare Moon, or dealing with that tragic paper shortage last year, which meant no new books for an entire month. How can ponies derive any pleasure in re-reading what they've already read? Such a wasted effort...

Oops, it would seem I'm procrastinating again. As to what else happened that fateful evening, Let's just say I was sorely tempted to shout out a challenge to my anonymous interloper, but as I figured it was in all likelihood just a child, such an excessive reaction would be unnecessary. I'm sure they'd pluck up the courage to approach me in the following days, and apologise for their odd behaviour. In return, I'd give them counsel that creeping out their elders is Not A Good Thing.

There seemed little else I could do, apart from fly back into the relative sanctity of my bedroom to finish off my sandwich and drink before going straight to bed. Somehow, I wasn't in the mood to study my elongated list any further, I'd just have to wing it the following day.

If this distinctly out-of-character moment wasn't a warning sign things were about to take a turn for the surreal, I don't know what was.

...................................................................................................

As I've already stated, today was the day of the Big Pet Show, and I was the lead judge. Whoopee. I still couldn't get my mind off events from the previous day, and every time I heard a little sound or movement, I paid it the utmost attention. You could say, I was ever-so-slightly unhinged.

Being the great friends they are, my closest companions soon picked up on my discomfiture and insisted I tell them the whole story. Upon finishing my explanation, they treated my concerns with the same seriousness as the occasion I forgot to send Celestia a Friendship report for an entire week. Which is to say, they weren't particularly bothered at all.

Applejack thought I was being too highly-strung, Fluttershy told me I shouldn't be so scared, Rainbow Dash insisted I chill-out, Rarity said I was way too dramatic, and Pinkie Pie wasn't perturbed in the slightest, considering it's the type of behaviour she indulges in regularly, anyway. As for Starlight Glimmer, she was mostly amused by the irony of what I was experiencing, since my previous antics following her around during her initial friendship with Trixie. Why, how dare she make that connection! This is totally different! This is... really not that different at all, is it?

Despite myself, I began to relax a little. After all, I had all my friends to 'protect' me... what harm could a mere kid who tracks me around town and hides outside my window at the dead of night possibly do to me? None, that's what! I'm a mystical alicorn, one of only five in existence, with super-duper powers that can handle any situation! What the heck am I getting so worked up over?! Time to push my silly paranoia to the back of my mind, and focus on my duties here. Yeah, a pet show... should be fun.

With Owlicious automatically disqualified due to possible conflict of interests, I study the rest of the entries with great enthusiasm. Hmm... Angel seems to enjoy fighting his rivals for no apparent reason, no points for discipline there. Pinkie had a tough choice between bringing her pet rock or Gummy today, eventually deciding on the latter... not that there's much difference between the pair. Winona won't stop licking my face, calm down girl! I can't scratch your belly today, I have work to do. Now, where's Tank...

I give Rainbow Dash a quick glance, but she just shrugs her shoulders. Well, he shouldn't have gotten too far, no extra apparatus is allowed in the contest, so his flight gear is on the sidelines. Let's see if I can spot him...

Yep, there is he. Slowly but surely heading towards me, with a usual unreadable expression on his wrinkled face. With his previous legendary exploits of saving Dash from certain death, he's a hot favourite for today. Let me just get a close look at... no. NO!!

I recoil in horror at what I see. No, nothing is wrong with the turtle, in fact he seems happier then ever. It's what's in his mouth which is making me freak out right now, and on the label carefully pasted on his shell.

Or, in that particular order, yet another 'Foal Fizzies' wrapper, along with a note which reads in big, bold, black capital letters: 'I AM WATCHING YOU'.

I stare open-mouthed at the happily grazing amphibian for a moment, before yelling to my still innocently chattering-away friends. At the sound of my call, they spin around to see what all the fuss is about... but in the split-second it takes them to do that, all of the incriminating paraphernalia on Tank has gone, and he's as spotless as when he arrived that day, freshly polished for the competition ahead.

My companions glance at each other in confusion for a moment, before turning back to me... I'm already long gone, however. My worst fears are coming to fruition, and I urgently need to devise some kind of effective counterpoint to this unprecedented invasion of privacy.

Or, I can just run around in circles and panic. Totally my call.

.............................................................................................................................................

Think I'm going over the top, eh? That I'm seeing things that aren't there, do you? Twi is going loco in her coco, is that it?

Well, I've got news for you, Mr/Miss Doubting Thomas. The first thing I discover when I return to the false comfort of my bedroom under the sheets is a big, massive heap of empty containers of... do I really need to tell you what it is at this stage? Good, cos I see enough of those two dreaded alliterated words in my nightmares, I don't want to have to bring on another breakdown by writing them down, thanks.

And, get this... all the discarded papers were in the shape of a heart. Creepier, and creepier. But somewhat artistic, I must confess.

Anyway, the main point here is that this trespassing terror has somehow wormed their way past all my magical enchantments to intrude upon my most personal area... and if I wasn't terrified before, I certainly am now. Who is this tiny creature, with a propensity for sherbet, who won't leave me alone? I need answers, and I need them fast.

I unceremoniously fling the wrappers out of the window, thinking that without having to stare at them anymore, my anxiety levels might sufficiently drop for me to make some sense out of this mess. No sooner have I done so, but I hear a knock on my door. On edge as I am, I'm on the verge of blasting whoever's there regardless of whether they're friend or foe.

Fortunately, my level head prevails in the end, which is just as well as it just so happens to be Spike. He tells me he's heard from others that I caused quite a scene at the pet show, and he wants to know if I'm okay. He also informs me he's just finished packing my bags for that weekend's impromptu trip to see my brother and niece, and he wants me to stop leaving my rubbish in his gem collection.

Good old Spike. Reliable, faithful Spike. He'll believe me and defend me, whatever else happens. I don't want to fret him any more than necessary however, so I call back to tell him that the incident at the show was nothing, I'll be okay. I also thank him for sorting out my luggage, and tell him to dispose of the trash in the nearest bin... what?!

I quickly swing open my door widely, grab hold of my surprised dragon friend by the tail before slamming it shut. What he's telling me... it's couldn't possibly be... don't tell me they're after him as well...

Yup, just as I suspected. The 'rubbish' he described was two empty wrappers of you-know-what. Our stalker is really getting around, and this time, he's targeting my best friend. Well, that's the last straw. Or wrapper, as the case may be.

Wordlessly, and with a now completely befuddled Spike watching on, I use my magic to completely barricade the door of my room with us both inside, having reached the inescapable conclusion that the only safe place for me and him is inside these four strong walls.

I have to carefully study the evidence presented thus far... try to uncover some common link. Then, and only then, will I feel confident enough to take a step outside the sanctuary of my room. It was bad enough when they threatened me, but now they're picking on my best friend?! It just got personal.

Spike won't like being held 'prisoner' in here very much, but in the long run he'll see I'm doing this in his best interest and he'll thank me for my selfless actions. He can just sit in the corner and amuse himself, while I draft a few diagrams to get to the bottom of this conundrum. Hmm... let's start with exactly where I stood yesterday in proportion to where the first candy paper was found.

We'll soon get this licked, my scaly friend. Then, you can go back to devouring as many rubies and reading as many comic books as your little heart desires. It won't take long at all, I promise...

..............................................................................................................................

Well, so much for my promise. I've been here for about a week, there's charts and graphs everywhere, yet I'm still no closer to uncovering the identity of my deranged fan. I do feel I'm going to make a breakthrough soon though, any day now! I just know it... even if I have been saying that an awful lot to myself, to no great effect.

Starlight has been brilliant during my extended hiatus... holding down the fort, dealing with a lot of minor friendship problems herself, and even floating in food and water through my window when we need it. I don't have too much though, indulgence slows the brain up after all, and I have to remain sharp if I'm going to crack this case, hee-hee-hee-hee!!

Occasionally, one of my other friends will come to my bedroom door, and ask me to take a stroll with them or simply just request to see my face. I must admit, I haven't looked in the mirror or even had a wash recently, so I'm a bit curious about that myself. But I don't rise to the bait, having already cancelled my weekend in the Crystal Empire along with all my other pressing engagements. I tell them I won't rest 'til I've found this renegade foal and eventually they give up and go away. My social life will just have to suffer until this is all over.

Needless to say, Spike misses a lot about the outside world. He won't stop pacing up and down and moaning, and when he isn't complaining, he sleeps, albeit fitfully. I haven't got enough time for anything like that... have to keep working... keep working... find a solution... help us both. Ha-ha-ha-ha!!

Sometimes, I hear chatter outside, that the Princess has gone 'crazy', and should be deposed post-haste. Yeah, I am... crazy like a fox!! I'll show them... I'll show them all!! They'll see. Me? Going mad?! The very thought of it! I can't wait for their groveling apologies when they find out I'm right! I see things they can't see, that's all! A kid is out to ruin me, but I won't let them! Ho-ho-ho-ho!!

This morning I woke up with yet another 'Foal Fizzies' on my snout, but that barely matters at this stage. It only proves I'm getting to them, that I'm growing closer to the truth, their identity will soon be revealed. I just have to convince Miss Cheerilee to pass over to me all of her students' records... blood, dental, psychiatric reports... who cares if it infringes their equine rights? I'm dying here!!

It's as I'm making the final preparations to my latest scheme that I hear a knock on the door. Really... those friends of mine are so persistent. Don't they realise how important this is to me?! Unless it's Starlight with my pancakes. Yum... pancakes. I open my mouth, ready to either tell the visitor to 'go away' or 'deliver the food round the back...'

...When suddenly, it bursts down of it's own accord, and standing there staring me straight in the eyes are the other Elements of Harmony, reunited at last. Great. Also an apologetic, sheepish-looking Starlight, two stern Princesses (Luna and Celestia) and a nurse with a nice, long, dripping needle. I feel myself being restrained by the powerful magical auras of the Sun and Moon monarchs, as the chummily-voiced medical practitioner slowly approaches, assuring me that 'this won't hurt a bit'.

OUCHIE! What a liar. Never trust a doctor, that's what I always say,

Anyway, goodnight all. Zzzzzz...

Author's Note

Chapter Two will be written from a slightly different perspective, that's all I can say for now... well, ciao! :twistnerd: