Chapters Author's Note
Am I crazy for starting another multi-chapter story when I already have a few others going? Probably. But I just had to get this idea down. It was too cute. Don't know how often I'll be able to update though.http://www.bicyclecards.com/how-to-play/hearts/ . Refer to this website as necessary; you may need it.
(NOTE: I probably won't be sticking to canon very much, obviously, since the show never told us that AJ, RD, and Rarity were childhood friends. A lot of this is my own fantasy.)
Chapter One
If Apple Bloom had a bit for every time she'd wished she could get rid of her cutie mark, she'd have enough money to buy Princess Celestia's castle. And probably Princess Celestia with it.
Before she got her cutie mark, she would probably have murdered somepony else to get it. Heck, she'd even have listened to one of her big sis Applejack's endless lectures about the "importance o' apple farmers t' keep Equestria healthy an' hearty" if it would help that coveted symbol of coming-of-age suddenly appear on her flank. But now that Apple Bloom did have her cutie mark, she wished that it had been a few more years in coming.
What were you supposed to do after you got your cutie mark, anyway? Now that Apple Bloom didn't have Crusading to look forward to, she found that her life mostly just consisted of school, homework, and helping out on the farm. Sure, she and her friends still helped ponies find their true talents, just like they had vowed to do after they got their own cutie marks. Except ponies were now coming to them less and less often - very few ponies actually needed the Cutie Mark Crusaders' help anymore, because the Crusaders had already helped so many ponies in Ponyville that just about anypony could offer the right advice. Why come all the way out to the Crusaders' clubhouse when you could just talk to your next-door neighbor, who already knew exactly what they would say?
How ironic.
Judging by Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo's long faces, half-lidded eyes, and scrunched muzzles, they were just as bored as Apple Bloom. On a sunny day like this one, with fragments of bright blue, cloud-spattered sky peeping through the windows of the clubhouse, it was almost a crime to be bored. But there really was absolutely nothing to do. The Crusaders had already tried writing a song (they may or may not have made themselves temporarily deaf in the process), writing a novel (complete failure), learning kung fu (which had gone quite well, if the bruises under their hooves and Scootaloo's black eye were any indication), and figuring out how to carve wood (although perhaps they should have bought some wood blocks instead of practicing on Sweet Apple Acres' trees. Apple Bloom did NOT want to be there when Applejack discovered the piles of tree bark shavings. Or the smiley faces and curlicues engraved into a hundred of her finest apple trees).
Cringing a little at the thought of her big sister's furious face, Apple Bloom rolled over on her side to face her two friends. The three of them were lying in their clubhouse in a patch of sunlight streaming in through the window, their legs stretched out around them as they sunbathed. Or, more precisely, lay there and pretended to sunbathe because there was nothing better to do.
Scootaloo, who was on the far left, heaved a long, drawn-out sigh and turned to face Sweetie and Apple Bloom. "Guys? Are you getting tired of lying here and doing nothing?" As usual, her mulberry-colored mane stuck out in all directions, adding to her tomcoltish charm. Her black eye made her look like some sort of mini-pirate.
"Yeah," Apple Bloom agreed readily, tucking her hind legs up to her stomach. "Ah feel like we've been doin' this all day."
"Me too," Sweetie Belle moaned from her spot between Scoots and Apple Bloom. Her perfectly coiffed pink-and-lavender curls glinted in the sunlight as she shifted position so that she was facing the ceiling. "The last time I was this bored was when Rarity tried to teach me the difference between chiffon and satin."
"That does sound boring." Scootaloo's mouth twisted into a pout. "But it couldn't have been as boring as this . Life, when are you going to start getting interesting ?!"
"Tell me about it." Apple Bloom tugged idly at her hair bow. "Ah'm plum outta ideas. Ah guess maybe we could go have an eatin' contest or somethin' -"
"HA HA ! TAKE THAT, APPLEJACK! SWEET VICTORY IS MINE!" A high-pitched voice with a cultured Manehatten accent suddenly rang out over the bucolic apple orchards, followed by a burst of raucous, self-satisfied laughter.
All three Cutie Mark Crusaders shot up at once, jostling against each other as they fought to be the first one to look out of the window (honestly, though, at the level of boredom they had attained even an egg twitching in a bird's nest would have been fascinating). "That sounded like Rarity," they said simultaneously. Only Rarity could laugh that melodramatically.
Apple Bloom cast a glance at her friends, her eyes shining, knowing that they were all thinking the same thing. "Y'all think we should go check it out?" she asked hopefully.
"Why not? We have nothing to lose," Sweetie pointed out eagerly, just as excited as Apple Bloom by the prospect of having something to do.
"Except for our hearing. For the second time today," Scootaloo muttered.
"Are you saying my sister's loud?" Sweetie Belle demanded, her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
Scootaloo opened her mouth to answer and then closed it again, trying to decide which was more dangerous: lying, or saying yes. "Um..."
"Oh, come on, you two," Apple Bloom interjected. "We got a real, actual activity on our hooves here! No time fer arguin'!"
Sweetie Belle nodded, seeming suitably chastened. "You're right," Scootaloo conceded, a wicked gleam in her eye as she beamed at her friends. "So..."
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS INVESTIGATORS! YAYYYYY!"
The three of them pumped their hooves in the air and galloped out of their clubhouse at lightning speed. "Ah have missed sayin' that," Apple Bloom added with a roguish grin as they pounded through the orchards.
***
The Crusaders hunkered down in the bushes by the Apple family's front porch, spying. Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash were sitting in a cluster of chairs around a card table on the porch, apparently in the middle of a card game. Rarity was still rubbing her hooves together with glee, enjoying her 'sweet victory', while AJ and Dash waited patiently (less patiently and more irritably, in Dash's case) for her to finish. A pile of coins sat in the center of the table, along with three half-full mugs of apple cider. Apple Bloom didn't know much about cards, but she had watched Applejack playing often enough to be able to tell what game they were playing. It looked like Hearts.
"My sister gambles ?" Sweetie murmured into Apple Bloom's ear, eyeing the pile of coins with horror.
Apple Bloom leaned closer and squinted. "Naw, Ah think those are chocolate coins," she whispered back. The chocolate smeared around Rainbow's lips and the pile of empty wrappers in front of her certainly seemed to suggest as much.
Sweetie sighed with relief and sat backwards. "Oh, good."
Scootaloo let out a sharp hiss of pain. "Sweetie Belle! You just sat on my hoof!"
"Oh, sorry!" Aghast, she scrambled up and whirled around. "Are you okay?"
Apple Bloom winced as Sweetie's curly tail smacked her in the face. "Guys! Can y'all keep it down? They're gonna hear us!"
Murmuring reluctant apologies, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo dropped to their hooves and pressed their heads against Apple Bloom's, craning their necks as far as possible in order to see out of the tiny gap in the bush's leaves that served as their peephole. They crinkled their noses as Rarity's strong perfume drifted through the air and into their nostrils.
Applejack's low, rich voice, tinged with amusement, floated through the air and into the Crusaders' hiding place as Rarity finally recovered herself. "Rarity, Ah think that sweet victory o' yores is about t' turn real sour," she smirked, slapping a card down on the table.
Rarity's eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open. "But - but - I could have sworn I saw that card earlier! There was no way you could have played a lower card than mine! I was counting !"
"Musta miscounted," Applejack replied complacently. "An' Ah believe this is yore trick." She indicated the three cards that comprised the trick.
Grumbling, Rarity reached out and dragged the cards towards her. Her eye twitched as she stared down at the seven of hearts that sat smugly on top of the stack.
"Another point for you," Rainbow Dash smirked, taking a long draught of her cider and smacking her lips in satisfaction. "That makes, what, five? You're so losing." She nudged Applejack, who was sitting next to her. "Nice move there, AJ."
"Thanks. But don' get too cocky, Dash," Applejack cautioned her. "Ah've been countin' cards an' Ah think yore gonna have t' take a couple more points o' yore own soon." Brushing her flaxen bangs out of her eyes and tugging her Stetson lower over her forehead, the farmer glanced over at Rainbow and frowned. "Hey! How many times do Ah have t' tell ya not t' eat that chocolate! It's fer the game!"
"Sorry," she apologized, in a tone of voice that was not even remotely apologetic, slowly and deliberately slurping all the chocolate off her face with her tongue.
Applejack shook her head and heaved a sigh, knowing that Rainbow had no intention of stopping. "Jus' get on with yore turn, sugarcube."
"It's Rarity's turn. She took the trick..." Rainbow's voice faltered and her eyes brightened as a sudden thought struck her. "Hey. AJ, you're the Element of Honesty, right? So that means if I ask you a question, you have to answer honestly."
"Uh... Ah don' think it works like that."
Rainbow completely ignored her response. "Right. Tell me: do you have the queen of spades?"
Apple Bloom knew that the queen of spades was the most undesirable card in Hearts. The object of the game, from what she had gathered, was to end up with as few points as possible, and the queen of spades was worth thirteen entire points - whoever was dealt it had to try to pawn it off onto someone else in order to avoid taking the points themselves. Each pony would take turns placing a card on the table, starting with clubs. The pony who put down the card of highest value got to take the trick as well as start the next round. Each pony was supposed to play a card of the same suit, but if somepony didn't have a card of the suit that had just been played he could lay down a card of a different suit. At some point, ponies could start playing heart cards in hopes of forcing their opponents to take the hearts and thereby gain points.
Applejack arched an eyebrow, her mouth twitching in amusement. "Rainbow, bein' th' Element o' Honesty' don' mean Ah have t' answer ev'ry random question somepony asks me."
"Not even for your best friend ?" Rainbow leaned across the table and propped her chin up on her hooves, smiling up at Applejack as winningly as possible.
Rolling her eyes, Applejack reached out and pushed her away. "No ."
Rainbow struck her tongue out and retreated sullenly. "How come?" she muttered grumpily.
"'Cause that's cheatin '," Applejack replied in a no-nonsense tone that brooked no argument.
"I hate to break up this little tiff, darlings, but I've made my turn," Rarity interjected delicately, gesturing to the three of hearts she had just laid down.
Rainbow cackled wickedly and drew a card out of her hand. "Applejack, you are going down ." She slammed a four of hearts down on the table. "There's no way you have a heart lower than that. You're gonna have to take the trick. And the three points."
"Ah wouldn't be too sure about that." With a flourish, Applejack withdrew a two of hearts and placed it on top of Dash's card. "Rainbow? Ah believe this is yores?" Grinning broadly, she picked up the set of cards and handed it to the astonished pegasus.
Rainbow stared dumbly at the three points she'd just been handed. "WHAT?!" she screeched, slamming her hooves down on the table. "But - but - no! No way! I was counting the cards! I swear the two of hearts was already played!!! I WAS WATCHING! There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY you could have had that card!"
Applejack rolled her powerful shoulders in a casual shrug. "Don' get yore girdle in a twist, sugar. 'S'only three points, anyways."
"But she already had nineteen points total from the last two games," Rarity pointed out. "She's passed the twenty-point mark. That means..."
"Ugh, it means I have to give Applejack twenty pieces of my chocolate. I know," Dash grumbled, irritably flinging the aforementioned amount of coins across the table at the cowpony. "I'm gonna win it all back in the next round though!"
"If you say so," Rarity answered calmly as Applejack collected her newfound earnings with an air of self-satisfaction.
"I still don't get how you did that, Applejack," Rainbow complained. "I could have sworn I saw that two of hearts earlier..."
"Granny Smith taught me t' play this game like nopony's business," Applejack responded simply, by way of explanation. "Ah was taught by th' best. You'd be real s'prised t' see Granny playin' cards - you'd think she'd-a grown up in Los Pegasus! Ah ain't lost a game o' Hearts since Ah were a little filly, thanks t' her."
"I must agree with that. You win every time we play cards with the girls," Rarity told her, her eyes sparkling with admiration.
Applejack blushed and pulled her Stetson down to hide her face. "As, shucks. That's real sweet. Long as we're playin' with chocolate an' not real money, Ah don' mind winnin'."
Rainbow Dash grunted. "Still. For the Element of Honesty, you sure can be sneaky when you need to be."
"Speaking of sneaky..." Rarity coughed delicately. Amusement lurked in her voice. "When do you think we should tell those little hooligans in the bush that we know they're there?"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders froze.
"Reckon now would be a good time." Applejack was grinning broadly. "Y'all can come out now."
Hanging their heads abashedly, the three fillies trooped out of the bushes and trotted up onto the porch. "How long did you know we were there?" Scootaloo asked glumly.
"From the moment you arrived," Rainbow smirked in her trademark scratchy voice. "You guys were making more noise than Spitfire when she's drunk." She leaned forward to ruffle Scootaloo's hair, but stopped abruptly. "Hey. What happened to your eye?"
Scootaloo cringed and ducked her head. "Um... kung fu...?"
"Hey! Awesome!" Rainbow's voice cracked in her enthusiasm. "Good to see you learning some moves! That's - that's... uh..." Her voice trailed away as Applejack shot her a deadly glare that was probably ferocious enough to send Princess Celestia crying for her mommy. "I mean... you should put some ice on that."
Applejack shook her head disapprovingly and looked pointedly away.
Scootaloo scuffed her hooves against the porch. "Oh... it's nothing..."
Rainbow leaned down and nuzzled Scootaloo's forehead affectionately, this time seeming genuinely concerned. "Doesn't look like nothing, Scoots. You sure you're alright?"
"Yeah," Scootaloo promised, throwing her hooves around Rainbow and burying her face in her polychromatic mane, breathing in its faintly electric tang. "I'm fine."
Rarity stifled a chuckle as Rainbow wrapped her wings around Scootaloo's small figure.
"What?" the cyan pegasus demanded thinly. "What is it?"
"Nothing, dear. It's just... funny to see you 'mothering', that's all."
"I'm not mothering!" Rainbow protested, her face turning a violent shade of red. "I'm - I'm - sistering!"
Nopony could deny that. About a month ago, Rainbow had finally realized just how much Scootaloo admired and loved her (with a lot of exasperated prodding from her friends, who were appalled that Rainbow had been so oblivious). Rainbow Dash, in turn, realized that she loved Scoots just as much. She was the little sister that Dash had never had. After doing some poking around, Rainbow had realized that Scootaloo actually lived in an abandoned house on the edge of Ponyville. That, of course, was unacceptable. So, without the slightest hesitation, Rainbow Dash had decided to legally adopt her - she'd filled out paperwork and had it approved by the Princesses and everything. There was more than enough room for another young pegasus in Dash's cloud house, anyway - and although she'd never admit it, she'd been starting to get a little lonely up there. Many tears had been shed the day she'd surprised Scootaloo by showing her the adoption papers - even Rainbow had been distinctly crying, despite whatever she might say to the contrary.
Scootaloo still couldn't believe her luck. Less than a month ago, she hadn't had a proper home or a family. Now she had both. She buried her head in Rainbow's coat, smiling so hard that it hurt, her eyes stinging with happy tears. She hadn't had anypony to hug like this a month ago, either.
Rainbow withdrew her hooves and used them to ruffle Scootaloo's mane. "Alright, kid," she said gruffly. "Don't get sappy on me." But her lips were curled in a tiny grin.
Applejack's eyes crinkled as she smiled amicably at Rainbow and Scoots. "Now that Dash has finished her huggin' session..." Rainbow shot her friend an angry glance, but Applejack paid it no mind. "What in tarnation brings you three here, anyways? Bloom, Ah thought ya said y'all were busy t'day?"
"We were busy," Apple Bloom muttered. "But we've already done everything we can think of doin', an' now we're bored."
"Yeah. Soooooo booooooored," Sweetie Belle chimed in, rolling her eyes dramatically to highlight her words.
Rarity looked shocked. "Sweetie Belle! A lady does not roll her eyes in public!"
"I've seen you roll your eyes at Applejack," Sweetie Belle protested innocently. "Just last week."
Rarity's alabaster muzzle flushed red. "That's - that was different. I was rolling my eyes because she was yelling at me."
Applejack pursed her lips. "Rarity, ya came t' mah farm with a mudproof, waterproof, an' fireproof suit on! O' course Ah yelled at ya!"
"That's only because last time I was at your farm, I was set upon by a horde of angry pigs, rained on, and set on fire!"
"An' none of that woulda happened if ya hadn't decided all th' pigs needed a bath! Ah did warn ya. They don' like baths. Also, those fancy breakfast thingies ya were makin' on th' stove wouldn't have burned if ya hadn't started runnin' around an' screamin' like a chicken with its head cut off when ya saw a tiny bug on the oven!"
"Yes, well -"
"Okay, okay, break it up," Rainbow interrupted. "Not in front of the kiddos."
Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all wore toothy smiles of excitement. Watching AJ and Rarity fight was always entertaining.
"Fine. We'll finish this later." Rarity's horn glimmered with magic as she used it to raise her cider mug to her mouth. She took a delicate sip and set it back down. "So you three are bored, is that right? Why did you decide to come here ?"
"We heard you laughing and thought we should come check it out," Scootaloo answered. "Can we watch you guys play cards for a bit? There's nothing else to do."
Applejack shrugged. "Shore, why not? Be mah guest."
Apple Bloom plopped down, stuck her legs out to either side, and rested her head against her big sister's hind legs, breathing in the heady apples-and-spices-and-soil scent that emanated from her powerful orange frame. The curly ends of Applejack's mane tickled Apple Bloom's forehead as Applejack lovingly swept her tail around her little sister's hooves. Scootaloo and Sweetie settled down on either side of her, leaning against Rainbow Dash's and Rarity's stomachs, respectively.
Apple Bloom watched the game with bright eyes. Her big sis was totally whooping everypony's flanks. By now, Rainbow Dash and Rarity had garnered at least seven points each, but Applejack still had zero. Sweetie Belle was observing the game as well, but she seemed more interested in the chocolate coins than the cards.
Scootaloo, on the other hand, began to fidget almost right away. In her opinion, sitting still was - as Rarity would say - the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING. After about thirty seconds, Scootaloo hopped up and stamped her hoof, frowning darkly. "I'm still bored," she announced grouchily. "Why isn't there anything to do after you get your cutie mark?"
"We found plenty to do after we got our cutie marks," Rainbow said, casually flicking her mane out of her eyes.
"Yeah, no kiddin'," Applejack smirked, shooting Dash and Rarity a sly smile. Rarity returned the smile, her eyes sparkling with laughter, and Rainbow looked like she was trying really hard not to burst out laughing.
"'We'? Who's 'we'?" Sweetie Belle demanded, her eyes flicking back and forth between her sister and the two other mares.
Their grins widened. Applejack huffed a laugh, glancing over at Rainbow and knowingly widening her eyes. The Cutie Mark Crusaders stared at their big sisters in bewilderment. What in Equestria were they trying to hide? The sneaky, roguish glances they were casting at each other made them look like conspirators in some kind of devious ruse.
"Scoots meant it," Apple Bloom protested. "Who's 'we'? Y'all look like cats that got th' cream or somethin'!"
Applejack's smile died a little as her eyebrows rose in surprise. "Ya mean Ah ain't never told ya th' stories?"
"What stories?" Scootaloo staunchly pressed forward to stand by Apple Bloom.
Rainbow Dash and Rarity now appeared surprised as well. "Really?" Rainbow's brow creased in a puzzled frown. "Scootaloo, I never told you? And no one else in Ponyville ever told you, either?"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders shook their heads slowly.
"Well, Ah'll be darned." Applejack swept off her Stetson and clutched it to her chest. "We were, uh... somethin' like celebrities in Ponyville when we were little, Ah guess. Ah'm surprised Ah never told ya. Shoot, Ah'm surprised nopony else ever told ya either."
"Probably because they're doing their best to forget about the whole thing." Rarity tossed her mane, carefully pressing her coiffed curls into place. "We were not, so to speak, on our best behavior."
"WHO'S 'WE'?" The Cutie Mark Crusaders shouted simultaneously. Their interest was really peaked now. None of them could imagine their big sisters on anything but their best behavior (except possibly Scootaloo). It was rather refreshing to think that they might have been just like Apple Bloom, Sweetie, and Scootaloo themselves as fillies.
"Sheesh, kiddos! Chillax!" Rainbow regarded them thoughtfully for a moment, and then said, "We'll tell you, alright? It's high time you heard about it."
"But our card game..." Rarity's voice trailed away.
"C'mon, Rares. Telling a story is waaaaay more fun than being crushed by Applejack at cards. Again."
"Ooooh, a story!" Apple Bloom perked up. Perhaps this could keep her and her friends from being bored for a while. "Ah like stories!"
"Does it have adventure?" Scoots asked eagerly, flaring her wings and fanning them as hard as she could.
Rainbow winked. "You bet."
"And dresses?" Sweetie Belle chimed in.
"Most certainly," Rarity assured her.
"Then what are we waitin' for? Let's git started!" Apple Bloom flopped down by Applejack's hooves and stared up at her expectantly.
"Whoa now, sugar plum," Applejack chuckled, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she grinned. "This is a real long story. We..." The Crusaders opened their mouth to ask about the meaning of the mysterious 'we' once more, and Applejack hastily cut them off. "That is, me, Rainbow, and Rarity... we can't tell this story in jus' a day."
"That's okay. Just tell us something now, so we don't die of boredom!" Scootaloo interrupted impatiently.
"Alraght, alraght." Applejack glanced over at the cyan pegasus on her right. "Rainbow? Ya wanna start us off? Seein' as yore th' one who mentioned 'we' in th' first place?"
"Absolutely." Rainbow cleared her throat huskily and struck a dramatic pose. "My little fillies, you are about to hear a tale of mischief and adventure and laughter and... okay, I'm out of ideas. Anyway. You're about to hear a tale full of good stuff. You're about to hear how the most infamous band of rogues who ever roamed Ponyville was created. You're about to realize just how awesome I was when I was a filly. I mean, we," she added quickly, shooting Rarity and Applejack a guilty smile. "We. You, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, are going to hear the never-before-told tale of... the RADs!"
This was something of an anticlimax. "The RADs?" Scootaloo queried, somewhat dubiously. "Really? What kinda name is that?"
"Hey, we were kids, okay?" Rainbow fired back fiercely. "And besides, there's a super-cool meaning behind the name!" Applejack and Rarity shared an annoyed glance which implied that the name hadn't even been their idea.
"Yeah, well, we were younger than you when we decided to call ourselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and that's the best name ever," Sweetie Belle pointed out wisely. "The RADs? That's... not good."
Rainbow growled, realizing she had been outmaneuvered, and looked pleadingly at Applejack. "AJ? Take over? Like, now?"
"Yes, you should tell this part of the story," Rarity urged her. "You're wonderful at storytelling."
Applejack's freckles stood out in stark contrast to the rosy blush that appeared on her cheeks at Rarity's praise. "Alraght. Since y'all insist." She took a deep breath, her emerald gaze fixed on something in the distance as she prepared, and then began. "It was a real nice day in Ponyville -"
"Oh, come on , big sis!" Apple Bloom wailed. "Ya can't start a story like that! That's so boring! Yore s'posed t' be a good storyteller!"
Applejack glared at her severely, her nostrils flaring. "Ah am . It's jus' been a while since Ah told a story, that's all. An what have Ah told ya 'bout interruptin'?"
"Uh... not t' do it?" Apple Bloom ventured sheepishly, realizing that she had committed a breach of etiquette.
"Exactly . Now hush up." The farmpony adjusted her hat, cleared her throat, and began again, her Southern twang adding a pleasant lilt to her words. Even Rainbow and Rarity scooted closer to listen; Rainbow, in fact, was so close that her fur was brushing against Applejack's mane. "One real nice spring day in Ponyville -" she stopped and raised an eyebrow at Apple Bloom, waiting for an interruption, but Apple Bloom had learned her lesson by now. Mollified, AJ continued. "Everypony was out enjoyin' Celestia's sunshine. But three little fillies were stuck inside th' schoolhouse, scrubbin' the walls while everypony else headed home t' play. Y'see, these three fillies were in trouble. Deep trouble..."
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. The next afternoon, as promised, Applejack and Rainbow Dash escorted their little sisters to Carousel Boutique, where Rarity was waiting to greet them at the door. "Come in, come in," she beamed, graciously gesturing them inside. "I've made cookies and lemonade."
"Yes !" Rainbow and Scootaloo crowed almost simultaneously, barreling past Rarity.
The unicorn stared after them in horror, her eyes popping. "Goodness gracious. I'm beginning to worry for our little Scootaloo. Where is she going to learn proper etiquette? Dashie's certainly not teaching her."
"Applejack an' me can teach her etiquette," Apple Bloom said proudly, and then proceeded to walk into the boutique without wiping her hooves on the doormat. Rarity emitted a faint groaning noise and tottered backwards, the sight of muddy hoofprints on her spotless floor simply too much to bear.
Applejack chuckled. "Relax, Rares! They're jus' young 'uns."
She made as if to step past Rarity into the boutique, but the alabaster unicorn came out of her stupor at once and shot Applejack a ferocious glare. "Applejack Apple, you wipe your hooves on that mat this instant! This instant, I tell you! They may just be fillies, but you certainly are not, and I expect you to know better!"
Now, there weren't many ponies that Applejack took orders from, but Rarity was one of them. Mainly because Applejack knew that if she made Rarity mad, she would wake up one morning in a bright pink frou-frou dress that was too tight to take off. "Yes ma'am," she gulped, nervously shuffling backwards and individually swiping all four of her powerful hooves against the rug.
Instantly, Rarity was all smiles again. "Wonderful. Thank you. Oh, and-" Neglecting to finish the rest of her sentence, she leaned forwards and patted a loose curl of Applejack's rippling golden mane back into place. "My apologies, that was bothering me. A lady must always look her best. Now please do come in." Leaving the door open, she turned around and trotted daintily inside the boutique.
Scrunching her eyes at Rarity behind her back, Applejack intentionally pulled the curl back out of her mane and then headed in to join her friends. Rainbow, Rarity, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle were already gathered around Rarity's dining table. Everypony had a glass of lemonade embellished with a colorful paper umbrella, as well as two large, perfectly round sugar cookies (if they hadn't looked perfect, Rarity probably would have killed them). Applejack settled into a chair between Rarity and Rainbow and smiled kindly at the three little fillies sitting on the other side of the table. She then glanced down at her cookies and raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, these smell jus' a tad funny..."
Unable to wait any longer, Rainbow Dash snatched up both cookies at once and shoved them into her mouth, spewing crumbs halfway across the table. Sadly, it was not meant to be. Her amaranth eyes widened to the size of the very cookies that she'd just eaten, and she spat her dessert back onto her plate. "WHAT THE HAY?! These are disgusting!!!"
Applejack was considerably more discreet. "Uh, sugarcube," she began, turning to Rarity and eyeing her apologetically, "Ah'm sure y'all put a lot o' effort into these, but, uh... they could be a little tastier. Ah have no idea what's in 'em." With a mighty effort, she managed to chew and swallow the small bite of cookie that she had taken.
"I do," the prismatic pegasus spat. "PURE ACID!" She glared down at the sloppy mess of crumbs that had once been her cookies. "You lied to me and got my hopes up, you little squirts! PREPARE FOR AN UNTIMELY DEATH!"
"Ya already ate 'em once," AJ pointed out reasonably. "Also, yore talkin' t' dessert."
"I simply can't believe what you both are saying," Rarity protested before Rainbow could retort. "I used one of Pinkie Pie's recipes! There's simply no way it could have gone wrong..." She happened to glance across the table, and caught sight of Sweetie Belle sinking lower in her seat. Her sisterly instincts honed in on this suspicious behavior at once. Fidgeting hooves, darting eyes, trembling muzzle - Sweetie Belle was displaying all the signs. She had most definitely had a hoof in this mishap.
"Sweetie Belle? Would you care to tell us why you are trying to hide beneath the table?" Rarity asked, as pleasantly as she could given the circumstances.
"Um..." The little filly sank even lower, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo watching her worriedly. "No?"
"Really? Is that your final answer?" Rarity was using that calm and controlled voice which meant that the only place somepony would be able to escape her growing wrath was Tartarus itself.
Sweetie Belle swallowed hard. She was no stranger to her sister's anger. "Er, well..."
"Tell th' truth, honey," Applejack urged, smiling reassuringly. "We ain't gonna be angry."
"Speak for yourself," Rainbow harrumphed. "I missed out on cookies!"
Sweetie Belle sighed and nibbled on her lip, realizing that she would have to tell the truth at some point anyway. "Well... Rarity, remember this morning when I was watching you bake the cookies? And, um, now I know that you asked me to fetch you some more flour?"
"What do you mean 'now', Sweetie?" Rarity demanded.
"Well..." she giggled nervously. "At the time, I may have thought you were saying get me some more sour ... and the vinegar bottle in the pantry was the closest thing I could think of... and your back was turned so I thought I would be helpful and add it in for you and then you decided you had enough flour and said 'never mind dear I don't need any more flour' and you started mixing the batter and never noticed the vinegar." Her words tumbled out of her mouth in a jumbled heap, as per usual when she was nervous.
Rarity's jaw dropped. "You mean... there's vinegar . In my cookies ."
"HA!" Rainbow shouted, victorious. "I totally called it! Pure acid! Well, not pure. Vinegar's more like five to twenty percent acetic acid."
Everypony stared at her. "What?" she defended herself. "I'm not a total idiot."
Rarity was still hung up on the idea of vinegar being in her cookies. "Sweetie Belle, are you telling me that you didn't think putting vinegar in dessert was strange at all ?"
"Well, why should I have?" she protested. "It's not like you ever let me help in the kitchen with anything other than fetching ingredients!"
"Ha-ha! That showed her!" Apple Bloom and Scootaloo cheered, raising their hooves for a Cutie Mark Crusaders hoofbump. Their big sisters glared at them, and they lowered their hooves sheepishly. "Bad timing?" Scootaloo mumbled.
"Yeah, kiddo. Pretty bad timing," Dash agreed.
Applejack snorted. "Huh. Says th' pony who jumped on me like somethin' possessed while Ah was carryin' th' cider barrels last year an' made all th' cider spill out onto th' ground."
"That was an accident!! I meant to jump onto the cider barrels, not you !"
"How is that any -" Applejack started, but was cut off by a quiet giggle from Rarity. The cowpony whipped her head around to stare at her friend. "Rarity, y'alraght?"
"Yes, haha - I'm wonderful - heehee - oh my goodness, it's just hilarious!" Rarity gave up all semblance of sophistication and slapped her hooves on the table, hooting with laughter. "Sweetie Belle, darling, I'm not mad at you," she giggled a few minutes later, wiping away tears of mirth. "You're right. It's my fault. I should have noticed the vinegar in the mixing bowl, and I should have been more instructive. I'm sorry that I didn't let you help out in the kitchen more - I promise I'll let you help next time. Alright?"
Sweetie Belle beamed at her big sister. "Okay! Thanks! And... I'm sorry I messed up your cookies," she added guiltily.
"Fear not," Rarity announced proudly. "We forgive you. And I know we all appreciate your honesty. Besides," she added, with a sly twinkle in her eye, "I have backup." Her horn glimmered with the telltale glow of magic as she used it to open a drawer and float a tray of small tea cakes onto the dining table. "I made these yesterday afternoon. I was saving them for a rainy day, but I think some ponies need these more than I." She was staring directly at Rainbow as she said this.
"Oh my Celestia you're my lifesaver!" Rainbow squealed. "Thank you! " She swept her hooves around half of the tea cakes, claiming them as her own.
"Uh, 'scuse me, Miz Rarity," Apple Bloom spoke up hesitantly as Applejack chatised Rainbow for being greedy and threatened to suspend her cider privileges 'until th' cows come home', "but Ah don' git it. Why were ya laughin'?"
"I was laughing because this incident reminded me of a somewhat similar incident from my fillyhood," Rarity replied mischeviously, ignoring Applejack and Rainbow wrestling with each other over who got the chocolate tea cake. "And I think I know exactly what story we're going to tell you three today."
Applejack and Dash stopped bickering at once. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Rarity?" Rainbow smirked, wiggling her eyebrows.
"If the twinkle in your eye is any indication of your thoughts, then yes." Rarity's sapphire eyes gleamed with fun. "Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, prepare to hear the tale of the day the Daredevils hospitalized half of Ponyville."
Applejack and Rainbow both wore matching broad grins. "Ah haven't thought back t' this in a while," AJ chortled. "You three are in fer a treat."
The Cutie Mark Crusaders leaned forwards in their seats and clasped their hooves together pleadingly. "Tell us tell us tell us!"
"Rarity, you want to do the honors?" Rainbow inquired. She casually stole the chocolate tea cake, which Applejack had won in the brawl, right out from under AJ's hooves and ate it. Nopony noticed, much to her relief.
"Absolutely." The unicorn took a dainty sip of lemonade, pushed the tray of tea cakes over to the fillies so that they could help themselves, and began. "It was about a month after we had formed our little club, and we had been having the time of our lives trying out new things and making decorations for the walls of our clubhouse. Nopony in Ponyville had heard of us yet, but that was soon about to change..."
***
"Songwritin', spyin', wrestlin', sewin', bein' ninjas..." Applejack glanced down at the list in her hoof and sighed. "Yep. We've done everythin' on th' list."
Since the Daredevils' new clubhouse belonged to Applejack, her friends had elected her unofficial leader. Well. Rarity had. Rainbow Dash hadn't quite adjusted to having somepony else being the leader. Fortunately, Applejack was quite content to let other ponies give the orders, so Rarity and Dash had equal opportunity to step up and take the helm if they felt so inclined. Which Rainbow often did.
One of Applejack's duties as 'leader' was to watch over the lists of activities to try out that the Daredevils made every day to entertain themselves, even if they usually finished every item on the list in an hour or less. Today they had actually finished everything in forty-five minutes. To be fair, spying probably would have lasted a lot longer if Rarity hadn't chipped a hoof and wailed loudly enough to blow their cover. And sewing almost certainly would have taken up several more hours if Rainbow and Applejack hadn't intentionally botched their projects in order to get out of finishing them.
Sadly, the fact remained that it wasn't even noon and the Daredevils had run out of things to do.
Rainbow Dash seemed most affected by this gaping lack of activities to engage herself with. The little pegasus filly was draped over the back of a chair, her eyes half-closed and her polychromatic mane drooping. Rarity and Applejack were clustered around the table in their clubhouse on either side of her, racking their brains for new things to try.
All of a sudden, Rarity perked up. "I have an idea," the snowy unicorn announced excitedly.
Dash's eyes brightened and then narrowed. "If it's more sewing -"
"No, of course not, Dashie. I was going to say that we should try baking. None of us have ever done that before."
"Hey, yore right!" Applejack agreed. "Ah'm all fer it. Dash? Think we should give it a shot?"
"Can we sell whatever we bake at the market and make some money out of it?" Rainbow asked slyly.
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Always in it fer somethin' else, this 'un. Yeah, Ah guess we can. When we started this club, we did say we were gonna help ponies... an' if givin' 'em baked goods ain't helpin', then Ah don't know what is," she finished with a broad grin.
"Sweet!" Dash pumped her hoof in the air. "Let's get to it! I already know what we should make. My dad was telling me about this really awesome dessert called mud pie."
Rarity frowned. "Grownups eat dessert made out of mud ? How odd."
"I know, right? Still, my dad said it was awesome, so it must be pretty good. Maybe it's just really sweet mud. Or maybe we're supposed to add a lot of sugar to it."
"Wait, ya don' know ?" Applejack looked distinctly skeptical. "Don'tcha think we should git a recipe b'fore we try makin' it?"
"Nah." Dash waved a hoof airily. "How hard can it be?"
Her confidence finally won the young Earth pony over. "Okay. If ya say so." AJ carefully folded up the activities list and laid it on the table. "C'mon, Ah know where there's a real nice patch o' mud."
The three fillies trooped outside and marched through the orchard until they arrived at the mud that Applejack had been describing. It was a marvelous, gloppy brown puddle with a diameter of at least ten feet. "Perfect!" Rainbow declared, settling to her haunches. "Let's get making!"
"Well, what do mud pies look like?" Rarity questioned. "After all, I simply refuse to sell anything unless it looks perfect."
"Uh..."' Rainbow hadn't thought of this problem, so it was clearly time to fib a little. "Well, they look like, um, little bite-size pancakes. Like this." She scooped up a dollop of mud, crinkling her nose at the smell, and used her hooves to compress it into a small patty. "There."
Rarity looked appalled. "You mean I have to touch it ?"
"Well, duh. I mean, how else are you gonna make the mud pies?"
Her face a slight shade of green, the young unicorn scooted away from the mud. "I won't . You two can bury your hooves in that abomination. I can decorate the cakes when you're done. Presentation is everything."
"Alraght, Rares," Applejack said patiently. "Y'all can jus' watch us fer now." She bent over the mud and dug her hooves into it without hesitation. "Sakes alive, Ah can't believe grownups actually eat this stuff!"
"Tell me about it," Rainbow muttered.
The two of them worked in silence for a while, the midday sun beating down on their backs, two piles of mud pies slowly growing at their sides. Rarity only had to intervene once, in order to stop Dash from getting distracted and starting a mud fight (well, Dash had already thrown the hoofful of mad at Applejack before Rarity got there, but the unicorn managed to stop Applejack from throwing one back).
About ten minutes later, Applejack sat back and wiped her mud-and-sweat spattered brow. "Whew. Mah hooves are gettin' tired. Ah think we made enough. What's next?"
"Yeah... I actually have no idea," the pegasus confessed guiltily.
Applejack twisted her lip. "Oh. Well, uh... Ah don' know if this is helpful, but, uh... Granny an' Ma don' let me help out in th' kitchen yet, but Ah heard 'em talkin' about somethin' called flour once..."
"Oooh! Flowers! Decoration! My area of expertise!" Rarity shot to her hooves and -
***
"Wait. Hold up," Scootaloo interrupted, staring at the three former Daredevils accusingly. "You guys didn't know what flour was? You were a year older than us at the time, and we've known for years !!!"
"Well, what can I say?" Rainbow snorted. "We were kinda dumb."
"I have to agree," Rarity put in. "But in our defense, we were allowed to help our parents in the kitchen even less then we allow you three to help out, so we knew next to nothing about, well, kitchens and ingredients in general."
Sweetie Belle sucked in her breath. "Wow. Even less than you let us help? You guys must have barely known what a kitchen was ."
"Yes, yes, point taken, Sweetie," Rarity sighed. "Now may I please get back to the story?" When nopony said anything to the contrary, she cleared her throat daintily and continued.
***
Rarity returned a few minutes later with a mouthful of assorted flowers, beaming proudly. "Daisies and daffodils," she announced. "I got them from the little field just outside the farm. Thank goodness this ingredient is a little more sensible than the mud - I mean, daisies are simply delicious! Now, do we crush them up and put them inside, or garnish them on top?"
"Both, I guess." Rainbow Dash shrugged and stepped forward to help along with Applejack, but Rarity held up her hoof to stop them.
"No, no. This is my area of expertise." Using her horn, the young unicorn slowly and carefully levitated a single flower and lowered it on top of one of the mud pies. It took her about an entire minute to arrange it just so.
"Ugh," Applejack groaned as Rarity nodded her head sharply and stepped back, pleased with herself. "This is gonna take ya ages . Ah'm gonna be called t' help out on th' farm at some point, ya know. Ah don' have all day."
"Fine," Rarity grouched. "I suppose you two can help."
Wearing matching expressions of relief, Applejack and Rainbow scooped up several flowers and began dropping them haphazardly onto mud pies. Rarity squealed in horror. "Oooh! No! It looks horrible! Move it to the left - just a tad - Dashie, no!!! You simply CAN'T have three flowers crossing each other in different directions!" Eventually realizing that nopony was listening to her, she grumbled and subsided. "Nopony understands the importance of aesthetic these days..."
The job went a lot quicker with all three of them helping, and all of the pies had been garnished with flowers in less than five minutes. "Ah'm pretty sure we need some sugar too," Applejack commented. "That's th' sweet stuff that makes dessert taste good. Ah know 'cause Granny's always tellin' me not t' eat too much of it."
"Well, do you know where we can get some?" Rarity wondered, mopping her brow (ladies did NOT sweat, no matter how miserably hot the sun might be).
"Yeah, Granny has some in th' pantry..."
"You're gonna steal it? Wow, AJ. I didn't think you had it in you!" Rainbow patted her on the back approvingly.
The little farmpony glared at her. "No. Yore gonna steal it, since these dang mud pies were yore idea in th' first place!"
Rainbow's smile melted. "Oh... um..."
She finally agreed to do it, provided that she got to dress up like a ninja again. Applejack described where the sugar was located in great detail, reassured her that Granny was (probably) in the fields instead of in the house, and threatened to pin her to the ground and never let go unless the pegasus got going. Needless to say, Rainbow did, scuttling off through the orchard almost faster than the eye could see. She returned only a few moments later, gripping a fat sack of sugar in her teeth. "There. Happy?" she grunted to Applejack.
AJ smiled complacently. "Very." She nuzzled the top of the bag open and drizzled copious amounts of sugar on top of of all the mud pies. Then she used her hooves to prod it into the mud so that it wasn't visible from the exterior. By this time, the sun had actually hardened the mud considerably, and the pies now bore fairly accurate resemblances to small round cakes. They had also lost their unappetizing smell.
"Are there any other ingredients?" Rarity asked.
Everypony ran through the very short list of baking ingredients that they knew about. The existence of whipped cream, hot fudge, and the like was completely lost on them. "Nope. I think we're good," Rainbow answered proudly. "Let's take these babies to market!"
***
About half an hour later, the Daredevils had gathered together all of their mud pies on a raggedy blanket and had managed to drag them to the Ponyville Marketplace. Hordes of ponies swarmed and thrummed around the three little fillies, ogling and buying and participating in other adult-y activities.
"How do we get their attention?" Rarity wailed. "It's like we're invisible!"
"Don't worry, I got this." Rainbow flew to a few feet above their pies and shouted, "HEY!!! WE'VE GOT MUD PIES OVER HERE! COME GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE HOT!" They were, indeed, rather on the warm side, thanks to the sun's heat.
Still nopony noticed. "Ya can't jus' yell at 'em like that, Dash," AJ berated her. "Ya gotta say somethin' t' entice 'em. Ah've seen Granny do it all th' time when she sells apples." She pushed her overlarge Stetson back over her forehead in an attempt to look more grownup and cleared her throat. "HOT MUD PIES FER SALE! BUY TWO, GET ONE FREE!"
Across the street, a thin gray Earth pony stallion with a spatula cutie mark and a wild black mane perked up his ears and trotted over. "Excuse me, did you say mud pie? I haven't had a good one of those in years! Although I must say, every mud pie I've ever had has been served cold. Interesting shape, too..."
Rainbow glanced at her friends in panic. This was a new wrinkle. "Um, yeah, we're trying something new... pioneers in the kitchen and all that..." She chuckled awkwardly. "Just, you know, don't eat them for a while. Give them some time to cool off."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that you're experimenting! I love trying new things. I'll take two, please." The stallion held up a money purse. "How much?"
New wrinkle number two. "Dashie? Applejack? We haven't decided on a price ," Rarity hissed as unobtrusively as possible.
"Ah can see that," Applejack replied sarcastically out of the corner of her mouth. Trying to pretend that nothing was wrong, she smiled up at their first customer and held out a hoof. "Four bits, if ya please."
"What?!" Rainbow cried. "We're selling all our hard work for two bits apiece! No way!! Ten bits!"
"Rainbow, we can't charge five bits fer a lil' piece o' pie," AJ snapped. "That ain't good business policy. Too expensive."
"I didn't spend all these hours working just to make almost no profit!" the pegasus filly shot back angrily.
While the two of them were bickering, Rarity stepped forwards as charmingly as possible in order to divert the stallion's stare of bewilderment away from her friends. "That'll be four bits, please," she said firmly. Applejack and Rainbow broke apart and watched in silence as the transaction was made and the stallion sauntered off with his three mud pies.
"You two simply must stop fighting in front of our customers!" the young unicorn ordered, spinning around to face her friends and fixing them with an annoyed glare. "You'll scare them all away. And, Dashie, for the record, five bits for a tiny piece of pie is ridiculous. It's like... like... spending ten bits for a square of muslin. Not that I'd expect you to understand anything about that . Just trust me when I say it's ridiculous."
Neither pony had any chance to respond, as their next customer, a slightly chubby mare with a cream coat and a green mane, approached. "Awwww, aren't you three adorable! And oooh, these mud pies look marvelous," she gushed, her eyes shining with enthusiasm. "I haven't had one of these since I was a little filly! The only good mud pies around are in Canterlot, and that's far too long of a journey to make just for dessert..." She reached out and ran a loving hoof over one of the mud pies.
"Hey! Ya touch it, ya buy it!" Applejack yelled.
***
"HA!" Apple Bloom slammed her hoof down on the table and smugly turned up her nose at her big sister. "An' ya yelled at me fer sayin' that!"
Applejack had the good grace to look ashamed.
***
Fortunately, the mare wasn't at all offended by little Applejack's brusqueness. "Why, I wouldn't dream of doing anything but," she replied, licking her lips hungrily. "Here, I'll take three." She handed over six bits and trotted away after collecting her pies. "I hope business goes well for you three!"
It did. Within minutes, nearly everypony in the marketplace was crowding around the Daredevils' wares, whooping with glee. Apparently good mud pies had really been missed in Ponyville.
Very shortly, nearly every single one of their mud pies had been sold out. Rainbow Dash cackled under her breath as she counted out all the bits and wrapped them up in the blanket. "Guys, we made sixty bits!! I could buy a whole Wonderbolt Nightmare Night costume with this!!"
"Or ," Applejack suggested with a frown, "we could split th' money three ways an' do whatever we want with it."
"Party pooper," the pegasus grunted.
"Sorry to interrupt," Rarity interjected, effectively halting Applejack's retaliation, "but where has everypony gone?"
Rainbow brushed her mane out of her eyes and glanced around the marketplace. It suddenly dawned on all three of them that they hadn't heard anypony else at all during the last few minutes. Every single shopper had simply vanished. Only the vendors were left, staring around in bewilderment and wondering why all of their customers had left.
"You're right, Rares." Dash narrowed her eyes in thought. "Something's definitely fishy here. Or maybe our mud pies were so good that our customers ran off to try making their own!"
"Or," Applejack gulped, "maybe we're in deep, deep trouble." She pointed a shaking hoof forwards.
Marching up the road was an all-too-familiar elderly green pony with an apple pie cutie mark, a greying bun, and an expression fierce enough to wilt every flower in a ten-mile radius. Granny Smith stopped in front of the Daredevils, who shrank beneath her stern gaze, and narrowed her eyes. "Well, lookie here. Ah come t' find out who in th' hay made all mah customers disappear, an' who do Ah find but mah own grandchild right at th' heart o' the mischief!"
Applejack pressed her hooves over her eyes. "Ah, shoot. Ah forgot it was apple-sellin' day..." Rainbow and Rarity shot her evil looks. It was just their luck that this had happened on the one day of the week Granny came to market to sell apples.
"Ya sure did," Granny snapped. "Now, answer me this: do ya know where all th' good folk of Ponyville went?"
"N-no, Granny," Applejack stammered, anxiously wringing her hat in her hooves.
"Well, Ah do. Ya jus' come with me, lil' missy." The invitation to come was somewhat unnecessary, as Applejack had no say in the matter: Granny grabbed her by the ear and hauled her down the road, her strength belying her frail frame. Applejack gave a stifled yelp and tried to squirm away, but to no avail - she was well and truly caught, and was forced to go limp and bear the indignity of being dragged like a sack of potatoes. "An' you two come too!" Granny called over her shoulder to Rainbow and Rarity. "Ah know y'all had a hoof in this!"
Her voice was far too intimidating for them to ignore their command. They slowly trotted after the elderly mare, their foreheads creased with worry. Rainbow made sure to bring along their blanket full of money. Normally she would have been laughing her butt off at Applejack's unfortunate plight, but she was scared that Granny would hear her snickering and start dragging her too.
The four ponies reached their destination in just a few minutes, due to Granny's brisk pace. "The hospital?" Rarity questioned perplexedly. "Why are we here?'
Granny chuckled grimly. "Imagine mah surprise when a horde o' ponies goes right by mah stall, shoutin', 'Don' eat th' mud pies!' So Ah followed 'em right t' th' hospital an', well... y'all better go an' see fer yoreselves." She released Applejack and gave her a little nudge, her face hard. "Go on. An' don' even try t' tell me it wasn't you three. Ah saw those mud pies on yer blanket."
The three fillies gathered their courage and timidly entered the hospital.
Ponies. Ponies, everywhere. Every bed was full - every single one. Some of the patients were merely sitting in their beds, their faces green, while others were actively emptying the contents of their stomachs into enormous bowls. And some were simply passed out.
Rainbow's eyes shrank to pinpricks. "We did this?" she whispered. "But... how ?"
An exhausted-looking nurse approached them from behind. "Are you three the ones who fed all of these ponies mud?" she demanded. "Was it some kind of prank? You have severely upset all of these ponies' stomachs!! They're going to need strong antibiotics for days to counter the effects of all the germs, and they spat the mud out as soon as it touched their mouths! Just think, if anypony had actually swallowed it it might have been even more harmful! What were you thinking?"
"Ah think we'd all like t' know th' answer t' that question!" Granny had followed the fillies into the hospital and was now staring each of them down in turn, surrounded by a crowd of annoyed doctors and nurses. "Well?"
Applejack was near tears. "W-we didn't mean t' hurt anypony, honest! We were jus' tryin' t'make everypony some dessert."
"Dessert ?" all of the adults shouted at once.
"We were making mud pies," Rarity sniffled. "Rainbow told us about them..."
"Hey! Don't pin this on me!" the pegasus shouted. "We all agreed to do it!"
"She's right," Applejack sighed. "We're all o' us t' blame... We're really sorry, everypony. Ah guess we shoulda picked better mud. We didn't know th' mud was gonna make everypony sick." Rainbow and Rarity nodded, their eyes downcast.
Everypony stared at the three youngsters for a few seconds of wide-eyed shock and then burst out laughing. "Well, call me a cucumber!" Granny chortled, wiping away tears of mirth. "If that ain't the funniest thing Ah ever dang heard!" The nurses and doctors' expressions had noticeably softened, and they were now regarding the youngsters with amusement rather than rancor.
"What's so funny?" the Daredevils demanded simultaneously.
Granny was still chuckling as she answered. "Mud pie ain't made o' real mud. It's jus' called that 'cause it looks all muddy... which is 'cause it's made with chocolate. Ah don' know why y'all thought ponies like eatin' mud!"
Realization suddenly dawned on the Daredevils that they had made a glaring mistake. They hung their heads in shame and shuffled their hooves. Rainbow in particular did her best to avoid meeting her friends' gaze: she knew that they hadn't forgotten that making mud pie had been her idea in the first place. She knew that she was going to be yelled at big-time later.
"Ah know we all appreciate yore apologies," Granny continued. "That was real grown-up o' y'all. That bein' said, Ah still want th' three o' ya t' pay these poor ponies' hospital bills. Ah know Ah got no authority over anypony 'cept Applejack, but Ah hope you two will do what ya know is right." She fixed Rarity and Rainbow Dash with a stern stare.
"Of course," Rarity agreed at once. "It's only right."
Rainbow grumbled some choice words under her breath, which she probably shouldn't have known at such a young age, but gave her assent as well. "How much is it gonna cost? We earned sixty bits from our sales today," she said hopefully, offering up the filthy blanket that contained the money. Maybe she wouldn't have to give up any of the money she had at home.
A well-built male nurse standing next to Granny gingerly took the blanket, opened it, and snorted. "If that's all the money you have, then you're looking at being four hundred bits in debt."
The Daredevils' faces fell. Not only would they have to give up all of their savings, but they'd also have to figure out how to earn three hundred or so bits.
As if he had read their minds, the male nurse continued, "You three can work for it around the hospital. We have plenty of simple odd jobs needing doing that you three would be perfect for." His fellow doctors and nurses nodded in agreement.
Granny bent down to look the little fillies in the eye. "Ah ain't gonna tell yore parents about this," she assured them with a wink. "It was an honest mistake an' y'all didn't mean no harm. An' Applejack, Ah ain't even gonna ground ya or tell yer Ma an' Pa when they git home from their business trip. Ah jus' want y'all t' promise not t' go tryin' fool things like this no more."
"We promise," they chorused, relieved.
"Good." The elderly mare straightened up, wincing slightly as her bones creaked. "Then run along now, b'fore one of the ponies ya fed mud to sees ya an' comes after ya. Ah bet they have quite a bit t' say t' y'all, an' none o' it's gonna be good. An' make shore ya come back here t'morrow t' start workin' off th' money ya owe!"
The fillies didn't need to be told twice. They beat a hasty retreat, running as far away from the hospital as they could. When they finally stopped for a breather, Applejack's first reaction was to glare at Rainbow and cuff her across the shoulder. "Rainbow Dash!! Why th' hay did ya have t' pick mud pie fer our first bakin' experiment?!"
"How was I supposed to know it wasn't made with real mud?" she fired back. "Besides, I didn't see you thinking it was weird that ponies would eat mud!"
Applejack deflated. She knew her best friend was right. "Ah jus' feel so awful," she murmured. "Ah mean, we said we were gonna help ponies, an' all we did was hurt 'em."
"Oh, Applejack, don't feel bad," Rarity consoled her, wrapping a foreleg around her thickset shoulders. "We're going to make up for it by paying their bills for them. And at least we know not to use mud in our cooking ever again."
"True," Rainbow agreed with a little smirk. "And you know what else, guys? If I had to get into trouble like this... well, I'm glad I got to get into it with you." She wrapped her two best friends into a hug.
Applejack chuckled. "Me too, Dash."
"And me," Rarity chimed in.
The three of them caught each other's eyes and burst out laughing. Still holding each other's hooves, they lay down on the grass in a circle, their ears brushing together. Their eyes were bright and hopeful. As long as they had each other, they knew that everything was going to be alright.
***
"And that ,"Rarity finished, "was Ponyville's first taste of our mischief. And, believe me, it wasn't the last."
The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat in awed silence. "Wow," Scootaloo finally said. "Just... wow."
"Yeah. Tell me about it." Rainbow Dash ruffled her wings and flashed her little sister a smirk. "Still, it's pretty funny when you think about it, huh?"
Apple Bloom giggled. "Uh-huh. But what about all those ponies in th' hospital? Did they forgive ya?"
"Uh... eventually," Applejack answered with a shamefaced smile. "Most of 'em were real nice about it, but a couple of 'em made us apologize again. An' it took us a whole four months t' pay all th' hospital bills."
The Crusaders sucked in a breath. They couldn't imagine having to be in debt for that long. The most they'd ever had to pay somepony was a hundred bits for accidentally breaking the pony's front door when they tried to enter it without making a sound, back when they'd been trying to get their cutie mark in burglary. Which, admittedly, had perhaps not been the best idea in the first place.
Rainbow's eyes flicked over to the clock and she did a double-take. "Wow. That time already? I gotta go. I'm late for my weather shift."
"Make sure y'all give me some sun over th' east orchard," Applejack said (she really was rather good at phrasing requests as authoritative statements). "Th' trees ain't gettin' enough light."
"We'll see," Rainbow replied casually, but everypony in the room knew that she was instantly going to make Applejack's request her top priority. She just liked to pretend to be offhanded about such things. "I'll catch you guys later."
"When are we going to get to hear more stories?" Sweetie Belle demanded.
"How 'bout tomorrow? You can all come over to my place."
AJ rolled her eyes. "Darlin', we can't fly."
"Oh, right..." She chuckled sheepishly. "Forgot."
"It's fine. We can meet over at Sweet Apple Acres t'morrow..." Applejack's voice faltered as she glanced down at the table and noticed the absence of something very important. "Hey. Where'd mah chocolate tea cake go?"
Rainbow looked around shiftily for an escape route.
Applejack, being a remarkably perceptive pony, picked up on her friend's behavior instantly. "Ya ate it, didn't ya," she accused her flatly.
"Um, no?" Dash attempted a disarming smile.
"Rainbow Danger Dash, y'all have never been in more danger than yore in right now. 'Cept fer that time ya tried t' sneak into mah house in th' middle o' th' night an' steal mah hat from right under mah nose. Yore talking t' th' Element o' Honesty, ya dope! Ah can tell when yore lyin'!"
Rainbow grimaced at the mention of her wrongdoings. "Can we talk about this reasonably?"
"No . That tea cake was mine !"
Dash nodded. "Fair enough." Without wasting another second, she turned tail and fled, bursting out of the front door before anypony could even react. She knew that she needed to be speedy to escape Applejack.
Applejack sighed and tipped her hat to Rarity. "Beg pardon fer leavin' so soon, Rarity, but Ah got a crazy pegasus t' chase."
"Oh, not at all, Applejack," the unicorn replied graciously. "A stolen tea cake is a serious matter indeed. May I ask what you're going to do to her when you catch her?"
The farmpony huffed a laugh, her eyes glimmering with fun. "Tickle her 'til she begs fer mercy." With that, she galloped over to the front door and sped out of the boutique, her tail swirling in a haze of gold behind her.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders stared at each other as the boutique's front door banged shut. "Our big sisters didn't take us home," Scootaloo noted slowly.
"An' we know what that means," Apple Bloom grinned, raising her eyebrows at her friends.
"YEAH! CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS HAVING-A-SLEEPOVER-AT-RARITY'S-HOUSE! YAY!" they chanted together.
Rarity's eyes bugged out. "What ?!"
Author's Note
Okay, yes, I know horses can't throw up, and I know it's highly unlikely that Dashie, AJ, and Rarity would have been that stupid when they were little, but... it's just a story, so.
Just to let you guys know: I will not be able to manage regular updates until at least June, and possibly even later. I have several important exams coming up and they're really messing up my schedule. I had to stay up till two in the morning every night for a week just to get this chapter done, because I was spending the rest of the time studying. So don't expect chapters too often. Still, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you all next time!!!
"So what story are you gonna tell us today?" The front porch of Sweet Apple Acres creaked as Scootaloo leaned forwards to grasp her big sister's hooves with shining eyes. "Are you gonna tell us about mischief and adventure and laughter?"
Rainbow Dash arched an eyebrow at her. "Huh?"
"You don't remember? When we were at Sweet Apple Acres two days ago, you said - " Scootaloo struck a dramatic pose and cleared her throat. "My little fillies, you are about to hear a tale of mischief and adventure and laughter and... okay, I'm out of ideas. Anyway. You're about to hear a tale full of good stuff. You're about to hear how the most infamous band of rogues who ever roamed Ponyville was created. You're about to realize just how awesome I was when I was a filly." She sat back down at Rainbow's hooves again. "Remember?"
"U-um," she stuttered, her mouth hanging open, "right. Good memory." To her amazement, Scootaloo had, indeed, quoted her word-for-word. "Well, um, no, I was thinking I would tell you about something a little different - a little more, uh, less focused on my own mischief. I don't want to spoil my image by telling you about how dumb I was as a kid."
"Image ," Applejack snorted under her breath, clearly amused by her friend's pride in herself.
Dash narrowed her eyes at her. "Pardon?"
"Nothin'," Applejack answered with a grin that was much too wide, as Rarity, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle snickered. "Carry on."
"Hmmm." Rainbow sized her up for a few more seconds, internally debating whether or not to call her out on her obvious lie, and then gave up. "Anyway. Today, I'm going to tell you about..." she paused for dramatic effect. "The Fluttershy Incident ."
"Oh, goodness, no , Dashie!" Rarity held her hoof to her forehead, her eyes sorrowful. "If you don't want to ruin your own image, why must you ruin ours ?" Applejack looked similarly embarrassed.
"The Fluttershy Incident?" Sweetie Belle queried perplexedly. "What's that ? Did you two do something to her?" She eyed Applejack and Rarity in bewilderment, and they shrank beneath her gaze. "Did you terrorize her? Did you make her cry? Did you kill her ?!"
Everypony stared at her.
Sweetie Belle blushed and lowered her head. "Sorry. Got a bit carried away."
Applejack cleared her throat. "Anyway ." She placed a warm hoof on Rainbow's elbow and batted her eyelids at her in an attempt to garner sympathy. "Dash, do ya have t' tell 'em about that? Surely y'all can find a diff'rent story?"
"Nope." The pegasus crossed her arms and looked pointedly away, ignoring the friendly touch. "I want to tell them about this one."
"What did ya do that was so bad, Applejack?" Apple Bloom queried, a good deal more reasonably than Sweetie Belle. Her eyes shone with curiosity.
AJ offered her a sheepish smile. "Well... let's put it this way, little sis. It wasn't me an' Rarity's finest moment." A faint blush tinged her cheeks.
"You can say that again," Rarity chimed in, idly using her hoof to fan her forehead. Although there was a gentle breeze whispering between the columns of the front porch, stirring everypony's manes around their foreheads, the air was hot and humid. "We were absolutely despicable . Which is, of course, exactly why Dashie wants to tell you three." The alabaster unicorn shot the pegasus in question an evil glance. "This is one of the only stories we have to tell you where the two of us , rather than Rainbow, were... well, mostly... at the heart of the trouble."
"Hey! Not cool." Rainbow stuck her tongue out at her friend. "And not true ! We were all in the mischief together." She reached out towards the coffee table and scooped up a tall glass, tipping her head back to drink. "Aww, ponyfeathers. I'm all out of cold apple cider. Jackie? Can you get me some more?" She gave the farmpony a winsome smile.
Applejack gave her a sharp swat upside the head with her Stetson. "Don' call me that, ya daft pegasus. Ya know Ah hate it."
"That's why I do it," Rainbow replied cheekily.
Applejack drew her lips back in a snarl. "Then no, ya ain't gettin' any more cider."
The pegasus's demeanor changed instantly. "Aargh! No! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I take it back!" Distraught, she threw herself at Applejack's hooves. "I need more cider!!! ... and some more of that apple salad wouldn't hurt either?" Her ears drooping, she raised her head to look Applejack in the eye and wrapped her hooves around the farmpony's powerful orange ones. "Please?"
Rarity facehoofed. "Rainbow Dash, you're hopeless. A lady does not beg in public ."
However, the apology was good enough for Applejack. Her gaze softening, she raised the pegasus to her hooves and gave her a firm pat on the back. "No need t' fret, sugar. Ah'll get ya yore snacks... if only cause Ah'm happy t' see ya eatin' somethin' green fer once," she added acerbically. "An think it's been five years at least since Ah last saw ya eat a piece o' lettuce. Anypony else want more drinks or salad?"
Everypony chimed in with their requests, and Applejack dipped her head in assent and trotted inside the farmhouse. She returned a few minutes later, her strong tail firmly wrapped around a jug of frosty cider and her front hooves encircling a wooden bowl of the fresh apple salad she had made earlier that morning. "There y'all go. Dig in. An' by that, Ah mean leave some fer everypony else ," she added crossly to Rainbow Dash, whom she had seen hungrily eyeing the cider.
"Like there was ever any danger of me doing anything else," Rainbow snorted - a blatant lie. However, she attempted to assuage Applejack's concerns by gallantly allowing Rarity and the Cutie Mark Crusaders to serve themselves first, brushing off their thanks with an insouciant shrug.
Finally, after everypony had filled their plates and glasses, they settled back comfortably into their various positions - the Crusaders sitting cross-hooved on the rough wooden slats that comprised the porch floor with their legs entwined, Rarity in a cushy chair with her face carefully turned away from the sun (sunburn is never attractive), and Applejack and Rainbow Dash lazily reclining sideways on the couch with their hooves and tails brushing each other. The wind chimes attached to the ceiling murmured softly in the wind, lending the atmosphere a peaceful air. Out in the fields, Big Mac could be seen steadily bucking a row of trees in the East Orchard - he'd kindly offered to take on Applejack's chores for an hour so that she could spend some time with her friends.
Rainbow took a long drought of cider and heaved a sigh of contentment, wiping her mouth with her hoof and ignoring her friends' looks of disgust. "Aaah. That hit the spot. Okay, are you three ready to hear the story?"
"YES!" the Crusaders chorused eagerly, their muzzles breaking out into large grins.
"Awesome." Rainbow gave a wicked grin. "'Cause you may never be able at look AJ and Rarity the same way ever again."
It was a dark and stormy -
***
"Rainbow, there wasn't a cloud in th' sky," Applejack interrupted with a pronounced eyeroll, swishing her tail against the pegasus's. "An ' it was broad daylight. If Ah catch ya fudgin' th' truth again, missy..." She let the threat hang unfinished.
"Fine." Rainbow returned the eyeroll. "You're so boring . Everypony knows 'it's a dark and stormy night' sounds way cooler." She warded off another tail swat from the cowpony by flicking her wing at her. "Okay, okay! I'll start over."
***
It was a bright and cloudless day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Rainbow Dash was gone.
"Where is she?" the young orange Earth pony demanded, her eyes narrowed in a thoughtful -
***
"That ain't what Ah said," Applejack interrupted again, much to the Crusaders' amusement.
Rainbow shot her a severe glare, her face contorted with annoyance. "Do you mind ?" she snapped savagely. "I'm trying to tell a story here!"
"Well, Ah'm sorry!" the cowpony protested, vehemently wringing her hooves. "It just ain't what Ah said, that's all!"
"And what did you say?" Rarity prompted with a twinkle in her eye.
"Well, uh - er -" she stammered, her eyes darting back and forth shiftily. "Ah don' remember, but it wasn't that," she eventually reiterated with a stubborn pout, trying to make up for the lameness of the excuse by sounding firm.
She failed.
Apple Bloom snickered. "Ya don' sound too sure t' me, sis."
"Yeah. AB has a point," Rainbow snorted. "Ever heard of storyteller's license, Applejack? I can embellish a little along the way."
"Y'all just made that up right now," she countered dryly.
"Nuh-uh! I read about it in one of Twilight's -" Rainbow's lips paled and she hastily tightened her lips, but it was too late. The damage had been done.
"Dashie's been borrowing books again," Rarity teased in a sing-song voice.
Even Scootaloo had to hold back a snicker at the fiery shade of tomato red that flared over the pegasus's cheeks. "S-shut up! It was just one! No biggie! A-and I thought I was supposed to be telling a story right now! Why are we talking about this?"
"You tell me, sugarcube," Applejack said with a languid smile. "More talkin' an' less blushin', if'n ya please."
"R-right..." The pegasus cleared her throat, refusing to meet Rarity's gaze. "Anyway."
***
"Where is she?" the young orange Earth pony demanded, her eyes narrowed in a thoughtful frown. "She shoulda been here half'n hour ago. We're in th' right place, aren't we, Rares?"
Rarity dipped her head in an affirming nod beneath the large, floppy-brimmed hat she was wearing to protect herself from the sun. "Dashie did say to meet her right underneath Clousdale, next to the oak tree." That description perfectly summarized the two fillies' location. Clousdale loomed above their heads, a veritable mountain of cloudy spires and rainbow bridges.
Applejack stomped her hoof petulantly, the ground quivering faintly beneath the firmness of the ensuing thud. "Well, we're here an' she ain't, an' Ah'm gettin' antsy! Granny said Ah have t' be back at th' farm in an hour, an' that silly pegasus is wastin'. Mah. Time!" Each word was punctuated with another stomp of her hoof.
"I agree. This behavior is really unacceptable. She may have all the time in the world, but we certainly don't. Say, how much money do you think we would have to pay Rainbow Dash to wear a watch ?"
Applejack smirked and started to answer, but the words died on her lips. "Hey, there she comes now."
Sure enough, a cyan blur was hurtling down from Clousdale, a rippling polychromatic con trail in its wake. With a whoop of glee, Rainbow Dash flared her wings out for landing and screeched to a rapid stop in front of Applejack and Rarity. She gave her windswept mane a casual flick. "Wassup, peeps," she drawled, arching her eyebrows.
"Yore late," Applejack snapped, neither deterred nor impressed by the young pegasus filly's dramatic entrance.
Dash's grin faltered. "Um - I am?" Her gaze swept over to Rarity, who looked even more unamused than Applejack, if that was possible.
"Yes, you are," Rarity responded dryly. "Being late by five minutes?Excusable. Ten minutes? Fairly acceptable. But half-an-hour ? Rainbow Dash, that is simply rude ."
To her credit, the pegasus appeared to be ashamed of herself. She scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. "I'm sorry," she faltered. "I was just a bit busy up there..." She weakly indicated Cloudsdale with the tip of her wing.
"Busy doin' what ?" Applejack inquired sharply.
"Just... you know... hanging out."
"With whom?" Rarity demanded, narrowing her eyes skeptically.
"My friend Fluttershy." Rainbow's eyes lit up and her posture suddenly became more animated at the mention of her friend. "She's so cool! I mean, she's a little bit, er, wimpy. But she does everything I tell her to and watches all my tricks and - um, you know, other... normal... friend stuff too, like make me laugh and invite me over to her house," she hastily added. "She's really nice."
Applejack and Rarity cast each other a glance of surprise. "You mean, you have other friends besides us?" Rarity queried, genuinely shocked. Rainbow had never mentioned this... Fluttershy before.
The pegasus instantly went on the defensive. "Of course I have other friends!" she spat venomously, her fur bristling. "I live up there! How could I not have friends? What do you think I am, some kind of hermit?" Clearly, she had thought that Rarity was questioning her social skills.
The two other fillies drew back in shock; Rainbow had never snapped at them like that before. "Calm down, R.D.," AJ attempted to placate her, stepping forward to place a soothing hoof on her shoulder. "Rarity didn't mean nothin' by it. Now, can we get back t' our Daredevil stuff? I gotta get back t' th' farm soon fer chores."
Relaxing a little, Dash reached up to pat her friend's hoof. "Sure. Sorry I yelled. And sorry I was late. It won't happen again."
It happened again.
The second time it happened, Applejack and Rarity were able to forgive their friend again, albeit with increasing annoyance. The third, fourth, and fifth times they treated with similar patience. But by the tenth time, the two fillies were thoroughly irritated with Rainbow's behavior. She had never yet forgotten to show up to one of the get-togethers that she planned, but she consistently arrived more than fifteen minutes late, often leading Applejack and Rarity to get scolded by their family for staying outside too long. And every time they asked Rainbow where she had been, her answer always seemed to involve the name of a certain new pegasus friend. Even just hearing the word 'Fluttershy' was sickening - when Rainbow finally did turn up, she never had anything else to talk about except Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy.
To put not too fine a point on it, Applejack and Rarity were fed up.
On the eleventh day of Rainbow's tardiness, Applejack could take it no more. She got to her hooves and tilted her head back to stare at Cloudsdale above them, shading her forehead with a hoof. "Ya know what, Rares? This has gone on far enough. Ah'm gonna give her a piece o' mah mind th' minute she gets her sorry flank down here."
"Quite right," Rarity sniffed. "I except she's busy with Fluttershy again." The name curled off her tongue with the kind of disdain that she usually reserved for the lowliest insects and the (even lowlier, in her opinion) ponies who misunderstood fashion. "What can she do that we can't, anyway?" Her eyes flickered with jealousy.
Applejack's eyes darkened at the name, and she bared her teeth in a snarl of anger. "Ah dunno, but Rainbow's gettin' on mah nerves."
Rarity scarcely had time to agree before she was cut off by a loud whoop. "Hey guys! I'm here!"
"Well, finally," Applejack muttered acidly under her breath. "What do ya mean by..." She faltered, suddenly realizing that Rainbow was not alone.
Trailing next to her was a tall but slender butter-yellow pegasus with bashful turquoise eyes. She landed next to Rainbow and curled her wings to her sides, hunching her shoulders shyly and looking anywhere but at Applejack and Rarity. "Check it out!" Rainbow Dash announced proudly, drawing the new pegasus over to her side with a friendly hoof. "I brought my friend Fluttershy!"
AJ's and Rarity's eyes widened simultaneously. So this was the famed Fluttershy. She looked kind of cute, actually - not quite as nefarious as they had been expecting.
Still, she had stolen Rainbow away from them, and they were not about to let her get away with it. "Howdy," Applejack spat coldly, her usual convivial warmth gone, her eyes two green points of flame.
Fluttershy shrank beneath Applejack's icy gaze. "H-hi," she squeaked out, scuffing the ground with her hoof as though she were trying to dig a hole for herself to hide in.
Rainbow, oblivious, did not seem to notice the tension that hung in the air. "This is gonna be so awesome! The four of us can do all sorts of cool stuff together! Hey, maybe we can even make her a Daredevil!"
Rarity growled low in her throat. Rainbow's sharp ears picked up on the noise and she stared at the young unicorn in bewilderment, her ears drooping. "D-did I do something wrong?"
"Could we speak to you for a moment?" Rarity hissed. "Alone ?" Without waiting for a response, she grabbed Rainbow by the ear and stalked off, ignoring the pegasus's perplexed yelp of pain and shooting Fluttershy a venomous glare for good measure. Applejack trotted over to follow, her tail whipping sharply around her hindquarters as it always did when she was agitated or annoyed.
Rarity dragged Rainbow to the foot of a small hill that was out of Fluttershy's view and, more importantly, hearing range, and then released her. Rainbow stumbled backwards, massaging her ear, and glared hard at her friend. "What is your problem ? What was that for?"
"Dashie, you're being obtuse!" Rarity growled at her. She'd heard that word from her parents, and although she didn't quite know what it meant, she knew it wasn't anything good. "The Daredevils is our special club ! Why would you ask somepony else to join? Did you ever think about how that might hurt our feelings?
"Yeah, 'cause we do have feelin's," Applejack interjected angrily, her jaw set menacingly. "An' ya seem t' have forgotten all about 'em, these past few days."
"What are you talking about?" the polychromatic pegasus cried.
"Y'all have been completely ignorin' us!" the cowpony snapped, finally arriving at the crux of the matter. "Runnin' off with that Fluttershy an' leavin' us t' wait like we don' mean anythin' t' ya!" How do ya think we felt, knowin' ya cared about some new friends more'n us? Huh? Ya think it felt good ?" Her legs were trembling in her anger.
"Stopped caring about you?" Rainbow echoed. "That's not true. I brought Fluttershy down here to -"
"Oh, save it for somepony who actually cares," Rarity interrupted bitterly, tossing her rich purple curls. "Why don't you go back and talk to Fluttershy . After all, she's your new best friend."
Her words, filled with the pent-up irritation that she had been carrying around for the past several days, were perhaps a little harsher than she had intended. Rainbow's hurt demeanor vanished in an instant, replaced by cold anger. "You know what?" she said coolly. "I think I will. I don't want fair-weather friends like you guys anyway."
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
Applejack and Rarity stormed off back in Fluttershy's direction. Fuming, Rainbow stuck her tongue out at their receding backs and galloped away in the opposite direction, so angry that she had forgotten that she could fly. Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears, but she dashed them away with her hoof, refusing to admit to them.
Applejack and Rarity slowed their furious pace somewhat as they approached Fluttershy, who was examining with interest some flowers by the roadside. At the noise of their approaching hoofbeats, she straightened up and blinked at them in embarrassment, casting around for something to say. The three of them engaged in an awkward staring match for a while, Fluttershy desperately wanting to fall through the floor and Applejack and Rarity trying to think of a way to politely express their annoyance, if such an oxymoronic event was even possible.
"W-where's Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy asked softly after a few minutes, deciding that awkwardly saying something to break an awkward silence was better than maintaining the awkward silence.
"Gone," Applejack replied shortly, in no mood to be chatty, especially not with the friend of her used-to-be-friend.
"Oh..." Fluttershy drooped, wondering why Rainbow would have abandoned her but far too polite to question it. "Okay." She subsided into silence again, scanning the two ponies in front of her as much as she could with her eyes bashfully downturned. The white one - Rainbow had told her her name; it was Rarity, or something like that - looked like she could be nice if she weren't frowning... why was she frowning... that was scary...
Gulping, Fluttershy turned her gaze to the strong-looking orange one. Her eyes brightened as she beheld the apple-patterned cutie mark and remembered what Rainbow had told her about the farmpony. "Oh, your family owns Sweet Apple Acres, don't they?" She tried for a hopeful smile, praying that she would be able to get a conversation going. Anything was preferable to another awkward silence.
Caught off guard, Applejack blinked and scratched the back of her neck. "Yeah, that's right," she responded slowly and suspiciously, wondering if this was some kind of trick.
Fluttershy sighed wistfully and licked her lips. "Oh, I love your apples," she gushed. We don't get shipments in Clousdale very often, but Daddy always brings me some when we do. I tried to start farming myself, you know, we have a little cloud garden, but... I was never very good at it."
The suspicion clouding over Applejack's gaze faded away. Despite herself, a grin broke out on her muzzle. "Ya like farmin'?"
"Oh, yes," she said wistfully. "Well - I liked the idea of it. But it's much harder in practice..." she twisted her lips sadly. "I should just stick to my animals."
Applejack mulled something over for a minute before coming to a decision. "Tell ya what, Ah don' know much about cloud farmin', but Ah reckon Ah can teach y'all 'bout some earth pony farmin', if'n yore interested."
"Really? I would love that." Her eyes crinkled as she bestowed a gentle smile on the farmpony, which then wavered with hesitation. "T-that is, if you don't mind."
"No, Ah' don' mind. It's rare Ah get t' meet someone who likes farmin'." And Applejack returned the smile, her eyes a lot warmer than they had been when she'd first met the shy pegasus.
Put at ease by the earth pony's welcoming grin, Fluttershy looked up at the white unicorn, a newfound boldness shining in her eyes. "And do you think you could maybe teach me to sew? I've always wanted to learn how to make pretty dresses."
Rarity's own annoyance fell away in an instant. "Why, of course!" she cried, beaming widely. She had already forgotten her previous irritation with the pegasus - anypony with an interest in fashion was worth getting to know, in her book. "It would be my pleasure." Her smile quavered somewhat as she realized that something wasn't adding up. "Fluttershy, how did you know that Applejack was an apple farmer and that I like sewing?"
"Rainbow Dash told me. She told me about you two just a few days after we met. She said you two were her very best friends." Fluttershy glanced over to Applejack. "She said you were going to grow up to be the best farmer in Equestria and that you were the only pony who could keep up with her in a race... and that you were the nicest, loyalest friend a pony could ask for. And she said you -" Fluttershy's gaze swept over Rarity - "were already better at making dresses than some of the best designers in Canterlot, and that she thought you were more caring and generous than anypony she had ever known. In fact, she never really stopped talking about the two of you. That's why I was so excited to come down and meet you..." Fluttershy let her voice trail away, pink in the face from the exertion of talking so much. That may have been the longest monologue she had ever made in her life.
"She... she said all that?" Rarity whispered, her eyes wide. Applejack looked similarly stunned. The two of them shared a long, horrified stare, suddenly realizing how badly they had messed up. So Rainbow Dash hadn't been forgetting about them - she had been trying to stimulate friendship; to get a chance to proudly tell the few ponies who would listen how awesome her friends were.
And Applejack and Rarity had just sent her off in a fit of tears.
They had to put things right. Applejack cleared her throat. "Fluttershy, sugarcube? Would ya mind waitin' here fer jus' a tad? Ah think Rainbow went home a little too early."
"Of course." She obediently curled up by the roadside, her eyes riveted on the same flowers that she had been staring at earlier.
Applejack and Rarity nodded firmly to each other and then broke into a gallop, running as fast as they could back towards the place they had dragged Rainbow to earlier. They had a pegasus to catch.
Much to their dismay, when they reached the hill there was no sign of Rainbow Dash at all. They had been hoping she would have chosen to remain nearby in case they came to apologize.
Or perhaps she had. Rarity nudged AJ and pointed to a tree several yards away, in which the tiniest hint of a rainbow tail could be seen poking out from the foliage. Applejack nodded and trotted over to the tree, biting her lip anxiously as faint sniffling sounds emanated from it. "Uh... Rainbow Dash? Y'all up there?" It was a rather redundant question, but she was desperately casting around for something to say to break the ice.
The sniffling stopped. "Go away," a small, scratchy voice mumbled. The rainbow tail swished around a couple times before being hastily withdrawn into the leaves.
Rarity eyed AJ anxiously. This conversation was getting off to a bad start. "Dashie, we're here to apologize," she attempted to explain.
"I don't wanna hear it." Rainbow's voice shook a little but remained, for the most, controlled.
Applejack set her jaw. She'd been hoping it wouldn't come to this. Not allowing herself to hesitate, she marched over to the tree, turned around, and delivered a powerful buck to the trunk that would have made her family proud. With a startled yelp, Rainbow fell out of the tree... and into Applejack's waiting hooves. The young earth pony's eyes widened as she realized that the pegasus was far heavier than she'd been expecting. She dropped her with a grunt of exertion. As soon as she hit the ground, Rainbow tried her best to skitter away, but Rarity prevented this from happening by launching herself onto Rainbow's back and sitting there until she stopped squirming.
Applejack walked over, dusting her hooves. "Now will ya stop squigglin' around an' listen? Please?"
"Fine," Rainbow grunted. "I'll listen."
Not that she had much say in the matter, considering that she was pinned beneath the full weight of a unicorn filly who was slightly heavier than she would have liked to admit.
"Good." Applejack sat down on her hind legs and sighed, her ears drooping miserably. "Well... we messed up, R.D. Me an' Rarity messed up real bad. We thought ya abandoned us. That ya didn't like us anymore. But really, it was th' exact opposite. Fluttershy told us what ya did up there." Her voice was quiet and faltering, lacking its usual friendly charm. "Jus' like ya were tellin' us all about her, ya were tellin' her all about us." She sighed again, twisting her hooves. "An' here we thought ya weren't our friend no more."
Rarity cleared her throat and took over from AJ. "It's not something I'm proud of, but... we were jealous. We thought you'd replaced us. But...I think we've learned our lesson now. It's okay to have other friends. And it's not okay to behave like the two of us did."
"We're real sorry, Dash," Applejack finished sadly, sweeping off her Stetson and bowing her head. "Can ya ever forgive us?"
Rainbow was quiet for a long moment. Finally she raised her head and cracked a crooked smile. "Of course I can. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't?"
Applejack's face broke out into a grin of relief. "Yore th' best, R.D.!"
"I know," she wisecracked, turning away to subtly wipe away the last of the redness from her eyes.
With an affectionate eye roll, Applejack threw herself onto the pegasus's back and wrapped her hooves around her neck. Then the widened the embrace to include Rarity as well, and for a while the three friends just lay there holding hooves, content in each other's company.
Eventually, Applejack, always the sensible one, pulled away and stood up, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hat. "Well, Ah guess we better go apologize t' Fluttershy now. Ah think we scared her when we first met."
"Yes, the poor thing must have been terrified," Rarity agreed, clambering to her hooves. "Oh, I feel so horrid about the whole thing now!"
"Well, it all turned out okay in the end," Rainbow promised.
"Yep. An' Ah hereby promise never t' doubt ya again," Applejack said firmly.
Rarity raised an eyebrow. "Never?"
"Well, okay, maybe sometimes," she conceded with a smirk. "But Ah can say one thing. Rainbow Dash, yore th' best friend we could ever ask for. An' Ah promise, never, ever t' doubt our friendship again." With her typical warm smile, she bent down and stretched out a hoof to help the pegasus up from the ground. "Friends?"
Slowly, Rainbow returned the smile and accepted her outstretched hoof, giving it a warm squeeze. "Friends."
***
"And there you go, kiddos," Rainbow Dash finished, grinning down at the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "That's the story of how your big sisters messed up big time."
"Whoa," Apple Bloom breathed, turning to stare hard at Applejack. "Sis, you were mean !"
"I-it was a long time ago!" Applejack protested embarrassedly. "An' we learned our lesson, anyways. We never had a fight like that again. An' we became real close t' Fluttershy. She came down t' visit us all th' time after that, an' we couldn't've been happier when she finally moved down here."
"Yeah, 'Shy's a real sport," Rainbow chuckled fondly. "And, you know, I was too awesome to really get mad at them for being so mean."
"Sugarcube, y'all were practically snortin' steam outta yore nose," AJ reminded her dryly.
She flushed a little. "Yeah, okay. I was kinda mad. But, you know... I was just as embarrassed as you two were. And you know something else? I don't think I ever actually apologized that day. I... I was kind of a jerk too. I mean, it was still mostly your fault, don't get me wrong. But I definitely had a hoof in it too." She fiddled with her hooves, refusing to meet anypony's gaze. "I may not have actually abandoned you, but I still showed up late and left you hanging and generally made it look like I didn't care. So... I'm sorry. Heh, little late now, but... you know, better late then never, right?"
She looked up hopefully, only to find both Applejack and Rarity standing before her. "You have nothing to apologize for, Dashie," Rarity assured her with a tender smile. "This time, it was all on us." She wrapped her in a gentle hug.
"Hey, wait fer me." Applejack came up and threw her hooves around the both of them, almost lifting them off the ground in her powerful embrace. "Ah love ya girls."
"Awwwwwww!" the Cutie Mark Crusaders cooed rapturously.
Rainbow, who had been enjoying the hug, suddenly dropped her hooves to her sides, remembering that they had an audience. "Yeah, oaky. That kinda ruined the moment." Shading her eyes from the sun, she peered up at the clouds. "Yeesh. It's getting late. I gotta back to work."
"Awwww!" Scoots whined, kicking her hooves against the wooden slats of the porch. "But we wanna hear about how you pranked the town and stuff! You said everypony knew your names 'cause you got into so much mischief! Can we hear about that tomorrow?"
Rainbow flashed the three of them a devilish smile. "You know what? I know just who to ask."
Author's Note
Sorry for the long wait. That was ridiculous. Anyway, hopefully y'all enjoyed the chapter. The idea was actually given to me by TheManehattenite, so thanks!! :)
And now, it's poll time.Go vote on who should tell her next story!
This will probably only be a one- or two-time thing, unless it's ridiculously popular for some reason. Just thought it would be interesting to see what you guys wanted. Fluttershy and Pinkie are not options because they haven't moved to Ponyville yet. I included some young characters and some old ones, for variety.
