The Source of Truth

by sparklepeep

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 404

Ponies have a meeting and they are terrible at it. Twilight Sparkle enters and is chosen by the One Spreadsheet as the Project Manager.

Someone said "I would read a flash fic about the Chosen Project Manager that wields the Spreadsheet of Truth" and so I wrote it. I also made it pony. Because I'm incapable of writing fics in any other fandom.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-09 03:20:52 UTC

This is the Only Chapter

"Ms. Mayor," the purple pony yelled as her hooves banged uselessly against the solid oak door, "please open up. Princess Celestia sent me here to–"

Before Twilight Sparkle could finish, Rainbow Dash charged at the door at full speed and smashed it into splinters. Twilight glared at Rainbow through the debris. "GOTTA KEEP THE PLOT MOVING, EGGHEAD."

Okay, Twilight thought, I'll get her out of this mess after the story is over.

Fixing her eyes on the inside of the building instead, she was shocked by the fact that the resident of Horsepuntown were still stuck in the Eternal Meeting. Surely the exploding door and the spliters lodged in some of their faces would've gotten them to stop debating about who was actually keeping track of the list of widgets the gizmo herders needed to warf before the synergermancers could escalate the golden ticket to tier 7.21 support. But it didn't.

As the purple protagonist pony stepped into the room and was about to recap the previous episode's plot, the magical floating whiteboards in the room floated gently to the ground and bowed. As they did so, markers fell off their litter trays and formed the ancient rune GANTT. At the sight of this, the cleverest of the senior undermanagers remembered the 4th passage of the 22nd page of the 85th chapter of the 9th volume of the City Management Guidebook.

"THE SIGNS, EVERYPONY, THE SIGNS!"

Everypony turned to Twilight Sparkle and gasped. For they didn't remember what the signs were but they didn't want to get in trouble with PR for not remembering them. "It is her! The Promised Project Manager!"

With the sacred words spoken, all the spreadsheets in the room swirled into the air. Magic more powerful than any that an alicorn has witnessed merged them all into the Legendary Spreadsheet. It was not a physical thing; it was a concept, and ideal. And it landed gently on Twilight Sparkle's horn.

Drunk with power, Twilight Sparkle let loose a terrifying grin. "Yes, everypony. I am the Promised Project Manager. I will lead you to the land of Shipping, where Rarity and Applejack have gone before. Follow me, team!"

And they did.

Actually There is One More

They never actually shipped anything because Twilight Sparkle was not the Promised Project Manager.

It was actually Rainbow Dash.

...

...

...

Because she was the Agile one.