A scream wakes me up. I barely have time to regain consciousness when a strong kick hits me in the flank, pushing me out of bed and out of sleep.
Lyra is screaming. I roll and scramble back onto the bed, reaching for her, trying to keep her safe.
“No! Get off me! Let me go!”
She is flailing around, fighting an imaginary enemy.
“Please, no! Let me go!”
I put my hooves on her shoulders to try to calm her down. “Lyra, it’s me BonBon! You’re safe!”
“No! Please, don’t make me do this!”
Her screams are terrifying.
“Lyra, please, calm down! I’m here! Everything’s fine.” I manage to get a good grasp on her and pin her down. “Lyra,” I whisper. “The wedding is over, you’re at home. You have nothing to fear.”
Somehow, my voice reaches her mind lost in deep slumber. She stops fidgeting and warily opens her eyes as if the cause of her nightmares is waiting for her in the waking world.
“Bonnie?” Her voice is weak, her breath short.
“It’s okay Lyra, Chrysalis isn’t here,” I tell her, caressing her cheek. “I’m here.”
“Oh Bonnie!”
She pounces on me, grabbing me in a desperate hug. Her whole body is shaking and I clasp her close.
“It’s okay,” I say. “Everything’s okay, I’m with you.”
Slowly, she shrinks, making herself so small that I feel I could hold her entirely in my hoof. She whines my name again, and then she bursts into tears.
I hold her as firmly as I can, waiting for the storm to end. I wish I could do more but I’m powerless. So I hold her, and whisper the same things I’ve told her about every night.
“I… I’m sorry,” she says between two sobs.
“It’s okay sweetie.”
It's really not but she doesn’t need to hear it right now. All those nights without sleep have burnt me out but she mustn’t see it. She needs me and I’m here. I softly kiss and nuzzle her, proving that the real world is here with her, with me.
I look over her shoulder. Through the window I can see the library tree, light still shining through one of the windows. Maybe its occupant could have a book to help her but I’m pretty sure her only answer would be friendship. Lyra doesn’t need friendship right now, she already has me.
Soon, her breath gets calmer and she stops weeping.
“Want to talk about it?” I ask.
“I-I don’t know… Maybe later.”
I hate to see her like this and I hate myself even more for not being able to help her. All my training has not prepared me to handle a broken pony. I know many ways to neutralise a threat but they have never taught me how to repair a shattered mind. But I try nonetheless.
With another glance at the outside, I notice that it’s early in the morning.
“Would you like to go outside and watch the sunrise?” I ask her.
Her only response is a languid nod.
That’s enough, to Tartarus the consequences. I've put this off for far too long.
“Right… Just wait for me outside, okay?” I tell her and she passively complies.
Once I’m sure I’m out of her sight, I get the metal suitcase I have hidden below the oven. Since I’m the only one cooking, I have never feared it to be discovered. It only opens with my hoofprint anyway. It is in the same perfect condition as when I left it, glimmering under the moonlight, ready to serve. If only...
I hesitate for a moment. The Agency has been dissolved years ago and I’m not supposed to contact Celestia, except for a dire emergency—some of our former enemies are still waiting for an opportunity to have their revenge. I know this isn’t an emergency and I really don't want to see her right now but Lyra’s nightmares have to stop.
I open the case and grab the encrypted communicator. I almost manage to sound professional.
“Agent Drops, identification number 57A-421-99. This is a code night emerald, I repeat this is a code night emerald. I request a meeting with Big Star’s satellite. I repeat, I request a meeting with Big Star’s satellite. Rendez-vous point at Night’s impact. End of transmission.”
I shut down the device.The short call shouldn’t have been tapped but to be honest, I don't really care at this point. All I care about is to find a solution.
I put the suitcase back into its hiding place and meet Lyra at the front door. We meander to the park.
As soon as we arrive, she pulls away. I follow her to the top of the hill where we’re used to picnicking. She sits down, puts her head between her hooves and forgets herself in a moment of eternity. I find nothing to tell her.
We remain here, somewhere between the sky and the earth, quiet, tiny, like two specks of dust. Around us, I see Ponyville is as beautiful as ever. In the gloom, the orchard waits for the Apples to bring in life and light. The small river gently flows into the town. The stars vanish as the Sun, slowly but surely, clambers behind Canterlot. Then I look at Lyra and I feel devastated. She is an open wound, collecting all the filth around her. I lay a hoof on her shoulder – I wish it were a healing one – and try to make her look up. I've never felt the urge to fly and yet I wish I could lift her right now, away from her fears, away from her anxiety, away from all of this.
"Thank you," I hear her whisper.
I don't reply. I can't, because I don't deserve her thanks. Nothing I would say could make up for failing her, for not being there to protect her.
I should have been there, I should have gone to that damn wedding. Even more, the whole team should have been there. But no, we had to let everything go, forget our mission and start a normal life. I don't know whom I blame the most, myself or the princess. She told us that she had everything under control, that the Agency had lost its purpose since she found 'something better'.
'Something better' my flank. Her ivory tower must be very comfortable if she can't see what is really going on down there. This parasite has been defeated out of sheer luck. Yet luck is all Celestia seems to rely on lately.
I'm unfair; those six mares have done better these last months than we managed in years.
Lost in bitterness, I haven’t noticed two very special ponies arriving. One of them clears her throat, and I look up, surprised.
"My little ponies," Celestia says.
Even though her voice is warm and her smile is engaging, I can read from her expression she is far from being happy. I'm too used to her tricks to be fooled anymore but Lyra isn't.
We bow before our ruler.
"I believe you have something to tell us," she says to me.
You have no idea, Your Highness.
She cocks her head towards Luna. "But for now, I think your friend needs to talk with my sister."
Lyra's eyes seek mine, questioning what is going on and what she is supposed to do.
I give her a reassuring smile and she follows Luna. Funny how the pony the Agency once feared the returning is now probably the pony most able to help my friend.
Once they’re gone, I turn to face the almighty Celestia. She doesn't stifle her disappointment now. I'm bracing up for the inevitable lecture but she has only one word and that makes it even worse.
"Why?"
I would have sworn I was used to her presence, but I realize now I was fooling myself. I have so many things boiling up inside, so many speeches I want to spit in her face but I'm talking to the Sun. I feel it would backfire. Not the cleverest idea.
"She needed it," I can only say.
"Agent Drops, you risked compromising your former colleagues with this call for a selfish reason."
She hasn't raised her voice, she has merely stated a fact, but I can sense every word flaying my skin.
"Selfish?"
I want to deny it but I know it's true. Still, what was I supposed to do? Watch Lyra falling apart day after day, until she was reduced to a small pile of ashes, gone with a breath of wind? She didn’t ask for any of this, and now Celestia has a chance to fix one of her mistakes, I’m the one to blame? Has she ever heard about ‘collateral damage’?
The more I look at the Sun, the less I’m blinded. I can clearly see all her flaws so I give in to my anger and ram ahead.
"Yes indeed, it was selfish," I say. "But I’m entitled to be selfish for this once. I spent half of my life wandering around Equestria trying to fix your mistakes." I hear myself snarling but I can't help it. "I've lost track of how many times I almost died because of you! I was okay with it because I thought I was helping make Equestria a safer place. Heck, you could resurrect the team, and I’d be the first to sign up again."
Celestia settles for listening, and it makes me angrier.
"But now your mistakes have involved the pony I care the most about! Do you have any idea what she suffers every night? Do you know what it takes to lie to her, not only about my identity, but also about why she has to go through all this? Every night, every single night, she wakes up screaming for help! And I can't tell her she has nothing to fear, because the one she fears isn't rotting in a cell! Chrysalis is freely walking Equestria, plotting another coup. And all this because friendship is supposed to save the day every time?”
She opens her mouth but I don’t let her speak.
“News flash, friendship can’t solve everything! I hope your prized pupil is aware of that, or she’s gonna fall from her lofty spot.”
“You aren’t in position to tell me how I should handle my student, Agent Drops,” she retorts.
“Well, somepony should, because we saw how it ended with your last pupil.” The low blow staggers her but I’m not done yet, so I move in for the coup de grâce. “What was her name? Ah yes, Sunset, Sunset Shimmer! She, who was supposed to fix your biggest mis-”
“Enough!”
Her word is a thunderclap, tearing through my fortress of anger, the walls I built to give me the illusion I could confront a goddess. Her eyes pierce my skin but I stand tall, because for the very first time, she meets my real self. We stay like this for a moment and even the wind went silent but then, once again, she shows me that, despite her flaws, she is better than me, more forgiving and less stubborn.
“Come with me,” she orders.
She leads the way and I follow her. We walk silently through the park. I had let all out, I have nothing else to say or do but wait for her reply. I feel I should apologise for crossing so many lines but my stupid pride stops me.
“You need to understand,” she finally says, facing me. “Times have changed, and there isn’t any reason for some ponies to put their life on the line anymore. Something greater has awaken, greater than anything we met before.”
“Let me guess, friendship?” I groan.
“Yes and no. Friendship has always shaped Equestria and its inhabitants, but it has taken a whole new meaning now that the Elements have arisen. It is up to us to follow the wind of change and believe in Harmony.”
“Believe?” I ask.
She must have sensed my doubt. Her voice becomes smoother.
“Yes, believe. The time when Equestria needed the blood of ponies for its protection has come to an end. And I’m glad this era is over. I have witnessed too many good ponies get hurt and die for that cause. That’s enough. Dying is the worst favour you could make for a cause because, above the wreckage and the sacrifices, there will inevitably be vultures smart enough to pretend to be phoenixes. They won’t hesitate to gather the martyrs’ ashes and make it fertiliser for their garden. I can’t stand it, not anymore.”
“Is this why you have been so long at answering the bell?”
“Maybe. I didn’t want their abnegation to lose its meaning. I have persevered in the way I thought the best, but thanks to you, Agent Drops, I’m reminded I was wrong.”
I look at her, dubious.
“After the Bugbear incident and the loss of Straight Jacket, I saw how eager you were to chase this monster.” She stops and I see a her light fading. “I have failed you, I have failed your companions and I have failed Equestria. I decided to dissolve the Agency in order to not repeat the same mistake. I was planning to do it before, but the Bugbear incident gave me the perfect opportunity. I had hoped you’d be able to return to an ordinary life but it seems all these years have left a deep imprint on you.”
She lowers her head and her voice is a whisper.
“I wish there would have been another way for you and the other agents but will you be able to forgive me?”
“Fo-forgive… you?” Her words stagger me. I want to resume my yelling but I feel that I need to quiet down for what I have to say. I take a deep breath and keep my head low. “No, I won’t. I can’t forgive you.” I raise my head and face the Sun. “Forgiving you would mean disowning the time I’ve spent serving Equestria. Forgiving you would mean forgetting what Straight Jacket has done for us.” My breath gets shorter. “Forgiving you would mean recanting on what I upheld. You may be ready to accept it but I’m not and I don’t think I will ever be. I can’t.”
“And what can I do?”
“Nothing. It’s up to your sister now,” I say, turning around.
The Sun had sung, the performance is ending, the curtain is ready to fall. No cheering crowds for this show, only me and my painful stubbornness leaving the scene. But the fat lady wants an encore.
“I know things will never be completely settled between us, so just go talk to my student when you are ready. Even if you don’t believe in Harmony, I don’t think it is a coincidence you chose to live in Ponyville.”
I don’t even look back to nod because, despite everything, I know she is right. The pony I’m about to meet up with proves her right.
I find Lyra atop the hill, her back facing me, shoulders low but head high. Luna is coming to me and we meet halfway.
“Your friend is waiting for you,” she tells me. “We still have a long way before she can be completely healed, but be assured I’ll watch her dreams every night.” She pauses and I see her lowering her head. “I apologise, Mrs Drops. I wish I’d heard about it before.”
I bow, but it’s a true and honest bow.
“Thank you, your Highness.”
She joins Celestia waiting for her and I hear them taking off for Canterlot while I join Lyra. She gazes at the other Sun, the one that has never failed.
“Are you okay?” I whisper, putting a hoof around her neck.
She turns to me and I behold a star reborn. “I-I think… Yes…”
I peck her muzzle and her smile sends me into orbit. I can’t keep my voice from shaking. “Let’s go home.”
Author's Note
This time, we had to write based on a picture created for the occasion.
My entry was based on this one.
Needless to say, I didn't score well but I hope this enhanced version has been enjoyable.
