Rather Fetching, Don't You Think?

by Fangren

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Drama, Comedy, Fluttershy (EqG), Equestria Girls
Length: 4058

The good news? Someone has finally volunteered to help out at the animal shelter with Fluttershy! The bad news? It's an ex-conman who was just let out of prison... Wish her luck.

The good news? Someone has finally volunteered to help out at the animal shelter with Fluttershy!
The bad news? It's an ex-conman who was just let out of prison...

Wish her luck.

The sixth SYNCHRONY oneshot in the same continuity as Synchrony and Oathmaker.

Published 2017-04-10 01:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-10 01:50:01 UTC

Seriously, she's gonna need it.

The sound of traffic. The smell of traffic. Even the look of traffic! Fluttershy didn't like any of it, and she sincerely hoped she never did. It was all just too busy, too crowded, too unnatural for her. What she wouldn't give to have a nice, quiet little cottage in the countryside where she could live in peace with all the animal friends she could ask for. Sunset had told her that Princess Twilight had told her that the pony Fluttershy lived just like that, and if she was being honest then Fluttershy felt jealous of her. She knew she shouldn't, and that it was honestly quite silly since it was another version of herself that she was jealous of, but she couldn't help it. She didn't really like living in the city.

But she didn't have a choice. Her family lived in Canterlot City, and she lived with them. Maybe once she had money saved up to afford her own place she would move, but that was still pretty far in the future for her. And even if it wasn't, she couldn't just up and leave all her friends behind. That would have to wait for when they all graduated next year.

Sitting on the bench of a somewhat crowded city bus, Fluttershy quickly shook her head to shoo that thought away. 'Don't focus on the sad that's looming,' she told herself. 'Focus on the good you can do today.' She briefly noticed a couple strange looks from the man and woman sitting across from her, and immediately looked down in embarrassment. 'Focus even harder.'

The good she was going to do today? Helping the animals at the rescue center, just like she always did. Even though the work was generally always the same, even though she wasn't getting paid, even though the center was so understaffed that it really ought to be a crime, volunteering there never got old. Helping tend to poor critters who had become sick or injured, or who had been abandoned, was her calling. Granted, it was almost entirely pets, but that didn't matter.

The city, for all its many faults, still teemed with wildlife. It's just that most of them went unnoticed by humans – birds, pests, creatures of the night and dark places. They existed, and Fluttershy loved them just as much as she loved any living thing. But they rarely came in to the center, so she rarely got to help them. She hoped they were doing okay for themselves, even though a part of her knew that not all of them could be.

A small part of her knew that she couldn't possibly take care of all of them, even with the magic she'd gotten at camp. She was just one girl, and the rescue center was already pushed to its limits. Sure, her friends helped out too from time to time, but they were all so busy with their own lives that they couldn't help out every day. Then again, neither could anybody it seemed.

Fluttershy closed her eyes and took a breath, forcing away the sad thoughts again. They were only going to distract her from the good. In this case, it was that her supervisor at the center, Dr. Rescue, had told her that another volunteer who would be working alongside her starting today. The good doctor had been strangely silent regarding the personal details of this new volunteer when Fluttershy had asked her, but it probably didn't matter in the long run. Fluttershy was certain that whoever the new volunteer was, they had a good heart.

Then, an electronic voice called out the name of a street that Fluttershy didn't recognize. Furrowing her brow as she looked up and around, it took her longer than she liked to realize what had happened – the automated system that informed passengers of upcoming stops had simply called out the next name on the list. But it wasn't any of the ones between her home and the animal shelter, and Fluttershy was certain that she'd gotten on the right bus, which could only mean...

She gasped, bolting upright in shock. “Oh no! I missed my stop!” she moaned, hastily whipping around and pulling the signal cord. Thankfully the bus pulled to a stop shortly after, and Fluttershy rushed off it.

It took her a minute or two to calm down and get her bearings, but when she did she realized that she hadn't passed her stop by too much. If she recalled right it was only about a block or two away, and she could easily walk there and not be late. Everything was going to be fine. The animals were going to be fine. Nobody would be mad or sad because she wasn't there when she was supposed to be.

That's what Fluttershy told herself, anyway, as she started to walk quickly down the sidewalk. But with her head down and her thoughts focused on moving forward, it wasn't long before she bumped into someone coming out of what looked like an apartment building.

“Eek! I'm so sorry!” she squealed, stumbling back a few steps and looking up at the man she'd bumped into.

The first – and really only – thing that she noticed about him was his style of dress. Or rather, the complete lack of it. He was wearing what could generously be called a two-piece suit, though that would stretch the limits of even Rarity's generosity and Fluttershy honestly thought her friend would faint upon seeing the man. And not in her usual purposeful, overdramatic way either.

Even Fluttershy's eyes were starting to water as she looked at the monstrous amalgamation in the shape of a coat that he wore. Nothing seemed to be repeated in it more than once, be it color, or pattern, or fabric, or the size and shape of the individual pieces. The sleeves were of different lengths, the buttons didn't line up properly, and the lapel was irritatingly asymmetric. The trousers were no better, as even the fit of the legs wasn't consistent from top to bottom. His shoes weren't even the same, though both looked fairly new. Fluttershy dimly noted that the man was tall and thin and old, and had some kind of long cane and a ragged-looking top hat as well, but his 'suit' was so uncomfortably distracting it was hard to focus on anything else about him.

“Rather fetching, don't you think?” he asked in a refined but almost mocking voice when he saw her looking him over.

“Umm...” was all Fluttershy could say.

The man let out a short hoot of laughter. “Ah, I do so love this style,” he said, looking down at his suitcoat and tugging on it a little. “It elicits the most delightful reactions. Well worth the effort I put into making it, don't you agree?”

“Err...”

“Of course you do, what am I thinking?” the man said, putting a hand on his forehead and leaning back dramatically. “You've clearly been rendered speechless by how utterly stupendous it is. Am I right?” he asked, clutching the knob of his cane with both hands and leaning back toward her.

“Uh-umm... I...,” Fluttershy mumbled, trying to look straight at the ground and not at him. “I... really...,” she tried to say, shuffling to the side in an attempt to get past him.

“Ah! Where are my manners?” the man said, once again in an overdramatic fashion. “The name's Y. U. Discord, my dear, but you can just call me Mr. Discord.” With a glint in his eye that Fluttershy didn't catch and a wide and toothy smile, he extended his right hand toward her. Upon closer inspection it was wearing a white knit glove, and the fingers were already curled in preparation for the handshake.

“Umm... I'm... Fluttershy...” she answered quietly, not meeting his eyes as she shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Fluttershy,” Mr. Discord replied in a genial manner and a tip of his hat. “Now, I'd normally bid you farewell at this point, but it seems you've got something of mine...”

“Huh?” Fluttershy said, looking up at him with a blank stare. He smiled and pointed down at their hands, and she turned her gaze to see that they were still shaking.

The only problem was that Mr. Discord's hand no longer had an arm at the other end of it.

Fluttershy shrieked and dropped it, then with another raucous hoot Mr. Discord bent down and scooped up the hand before it hit the ground. “My dear! You should have warned me you had such a firm handshake!” He looked over his severed hand with vague amusement before stowing it away in a pocket, Fluttershy watching with horror all the while. “I simply must tip my hat to you,” he said, taking his patchy top hat in his left hand and flourishing it as he bowed to her. As he did so he clenched his eyes shut, and without Fluttershy noticing he pounded his back with his right arm, his comically long sleeve still dangling. Then he looked back up and winked at the still-frozen girl with his left eye.

It fell out of the socket and into his upturned hat.

Another shriek was followed by a round of intense laughter as Fluttershy ran past him crying.

He watched her flee for a few seconds, then let out a long, satisfied sigh. “Ahh, kids today...,” he said, popping his real right hand out of his sleeve and using it to place the glass eye back where it had come from. Mr. Discord unhooked his cane from his left elbow, replaced his hat, and with another laugh started walking in the same direction that Fluttershy had gone.

Fluttershy really hadn't liked anything about that encounter, she decided the moment she'd calmed down. Mr. Discord was strange to begin with, in a bad and kinda scary way, and he'd also played such a mean trick on her. She felt ashamed to have fallen for it, and she sorely wished she had gotten off at the right stop instead of a couple blocks away.

To make matters worse, he was now following her. And every time Fluttershy looked back to glare at him, he simply gave her an irritating little smirk and waved back at her. She tried to just walk faster to get away from him, but had been been forced to stop at two crosswalks so far. He hadn't turned off his course, to her dismay, and since it seemed likely that he would in fact catch up with her Fluttershy quickly tried to think of what to do when it happened.

She'd probably have to confront him, but he might be the type of creep who didn't care about that so words alone might not be enough. Her hand moved to the magical geode hanging around her neck, hidden in her blouse. She'd brought it with her because it helped so much with her work at the rescue center, but she was fairly certain she could use it to pony up at any time. Surely that would be enough to dissuade her unwanted pursuer, right? And even if it didn't, she could simply fly away.

Yes, she decided. That should work.

She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth as she waited for him to catch up at the final crosswalk before wheeling around to face him. “Stop following me!” she shouted with as much assertiveness as she could muster, not that it amounted to more than giving Mr. Discord an amused look on his face.

“Following you?” he asked with a mocking gasp, putting a hand to his chest as her drew back. “Why, what ever do you mean, my dear?”

“You know exactly what I mean, mister,” Fluttershy replied, doing her best to keep herself from trembling as she glared up into his uncaring eyes. “You already got your laughs from me, now leave me alone!”

Mr. Discord's smile dropped away, and he snorted in disdain. “Don't flatter yourself, girl,” he told her. “We were simply headed in the same direction.”

“Then... then go a different direction!” Fluttershy demanded with a light and mistimed stamp of her foot, looking away for more than a few seconds.

It was enough to elicit a sharp laugh from Mr. Discord. “Why should I? It's not my fault you can't take a joke. Or notice when the crossing signal's changed, for that matter,” he added with a mocking smirk, walking into the street and giving her head a quick rub as he passed her.

The touch made Fluttershy freeze in fear for a moment before the sound of traffic to her side made her realize what he'd said. With a furious blush she whipped back around and charged across the street, soon passing him by again. She even managed to stifle the high growl she found herself uttering, forcing herself not to acknowledge the man even as he rose to some unspoken and unintended challenge and hurried along as well. And when she finally reached the animal rescue center, her safe space and home away from home, Fluttershy thought she was finally free from having to deal with him.

Then she noticed that he'd stopped just a foot behind him, his expression amused yet genuinely surprised. “My my, it really is a small world, isn't?” Mr. Discord said.

“No,” Fluttershy said softly, clenching her fists as she stood on the center's doorstep.

“Hmm...'no', you say...,” Mr. Discord said, his bushy eyebrows furrowed in deep thought as he stroked his goatee. “Perhaps you have a point. Surely this world is big enough that coincidences like ours happen every day, right?” he asked, his lips curling back up into a mischievous smile.

Fluttershy clenched her fists even tighter. “I mean no, Mr. Discord,” she said, turning her glare back onto him. “I... I won't buy that this is just a... a coincidence. You're harassing me, and I have to ask you to stop!”

She'd raised her voice enough to catch the attention of a few passersby who'd already been watching simply due to Mr. Discord's suit, and their curious but cautious looks made him start to sweat. “N-now hold on, Fluttershy,” he said quickly, taking a step back and raising his hands in what was meant to be a calming gesture. “Just... Just calm down, and let me-”

“I will not calm down!” Fluttershy retorted, shutting her eyes as she raised her voice even higher, her hands moving closer to the hidden geode around her neck. “Y-you leave me alone! Or... Or else!”

“Or else what?” Mr. Discord replied before he could stop himself, wincing as the words reached his ears.

“Or... or else...,” Fluttershy stammered, her mind racing. Now was the time to pony up like she'd planned and scare this old man away, but...she was having doubts. Would it even work? What would she do if it didn't, she couldn't exactly fly away when she was where she wanted to go in the first place. Plus, she'd never really ponied up in public like this before. Should she even do it? What would the others think? Would she attract everyone's attention, and suddenly have a bunch of strangers after her asking questions and wanting to put her on TV? Wasn't that more trouble than it was worth? Wasn't there some other way of getting him to leave?

“Or else... I'll call the police!” Fluttershy decided upon.

The force of her words caused Mr. Discord to freeze, a look of terror on his face. “N...” he tried to stammer, his eyes darting around as more and more passersby started looking at them, “N... n-n-now Miss Fluttershy, let's be reasonable. I... I-I-I apologize for what I... For my little prank earlier, I didn't mean anything harmful by it, just a spot of... of harmless fun! And I... I feel d-dreadfully sorry about the suffering I've caused you,” he added with a franticness that gave even Fluttershy a moment's pause from her skepticism. “B-But please allow me to explain why I'm here...”

Fluttershy crossed her arms and gave him a Look.

“Y-yes,” Mr. Discord stuttered, wringing his hands and tugging at the collar of chaotic suitcoat. “So. I meant what I said before, I didn't come this way to stalk you or anything, I simply do have business at the, ah, animal shelter. You have my... sincerest promise in that regard,” he said, briefly hesitating before donning a cheesy smile and making the scout sign.

“Hmph,” Fluttershy sniffed and frowned. “Very well. I don't like the idea of you being around my little animal buddies, but I suppose I can give you a chance. Go,” she said, stepping back and pointing to the door. “Let's see what business you really have here.”

“R-right... yes... as you wish...” Mr. Discord said with a nervous smile, not breaking eye contact with Fluttershy as he approached and entered the animal shelter.

Once he was inside, Fluttershy bit her lip and entered as well – one hand clasped around her hidden geode all the while.

The Canterlot Rescue Center's reception area was fairly basic – greyish walls, tile floor, plenty of benches for people to sit on. A few magazine racks offered periodicals and pamphlets on all sorts of pets, and the walls were lined with even more pet care information. Aside from the open but empty receptionist's desk only a single closed door lead into the back area, and a cutely-drawn sign warning visitors to watch for loose animals had been taped to it - and retaped to it several times. A single person was leaning against it when Mr. Discord and Fluttershy entered.

“Oh. I see you two have already met,” Dr. Rescue said, looking over Mr. Discord and Fluttershy and noticing the latter glaring at the former who looked as though the world was about to crash down around him. It struck her as uncharacteristic for both of them. Tall yet dumpy, green-skinned, and her white coat smelling faintly of animal waste, Dr. Rescue looked as though she'd just been interrupted in the middle of her favorite show. “Normally that would be a good thing, but...” She trailed off as she looked from one to the other... or rather, from her favorite assistant to the horribly obnoxious outfit the other was wearing.

With a quick cough to clear his throat, Mr. Discord stepped forward. “Yes. Well. It's nothing at all for you to worry over, just a little misunderstanding. I'm sure we'll clear it up in no time and become the very best of friends, isn't that right Fluttershy?” he said, looking back towards the doorway.

Fluttershy said nothing to his remark, frowning as she looked from him to Dr. Rescue. “Hold on. You mean he's really supposed to be here?” she asked the doctor.

“I did say we were getting another volunteer, didn't I?” Dr. Rescue replied halfheartedly. “I can't say I'm happy about the circumstances though. Wish I woulda gotten a chance to either meet him in person beforehand, or at least been there when you two met. You've been such a help around here,” she told Fluttershy with a soft look in her eyes, “you really don't deserve having to put up with the likes of him.”

She shot a dirty look at Mr. Discord, who drew himself up to his full height, crossed his arms, and scoffed. “Weren't you the one who was just so desperate for help that you were willing to accept it from anywhere? I'd say you're to blame for putting her in this situation, not me.”

Fluttershy looked from him to Dr. Rescue. “But... what does he mean, accept it from anywhere? I don't understand.”

Dr. Rescue looked at her troubled expression and sighed. “I knew I should have told you the other day...” she said, removing her glasses and pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Oh my,” Mr. Discord said, his eyes shining brightly as he pretended to be shocked, “you truly didn't mention where you'd found me to what I can only assume is your most valued volunteer?” He leaned back towards Fluttershy and gave her an unwanted wink, then put a hand on his forehead and leaned back in the most melodramatic manner his old bones could allow. “How scandalous!”

“Don't make me regret agreeing to let you do your community service here,” Dr. Rescue shot at him. “More than I already have, anyway.”

“Community service?” Fluttershy asked, her brow furrowing soon after as she looked back at her fellow volunteer. “Mr. Discord, did you get in trouble with the law?” she asked in an accusatory tone.

He let out a single belly-holding hoot of a laughter. “Oh, I dare say I did!” he told her. “And the last part of my punishment is to do some community service here. I do hope you'll forgive me for my little transgression,” he said in a mock-simpering voice, clasping his hands and batting his eyes.

“Hrmm... well...,” Fluttershy replied, uncertain and frowning. “You don't seem that sorry for anything you've done. But as long as you don't cause any more trouble, I won't object to you volunteering here. After all, it's important to show kindness to others no matter what little mistakes they've made in the past.”

Mr. Discord just laughed again, and Dr. Rescue sighed. “Fluttershy, what exactly do you think Mr. Discord here did?”

Fluttershy's brow furrowed. “I don't know. Maybe a speeding ticket or something?”

“Hah! S-speeding ticket!” Mr. Discord laughed, now holding his side and leaning on his cane.

Seeing the young girl's renewed frown, Dr. Rescue put a hand on her shoulder. “I'm afraid you're wrong, though I can't blame you since it was before your time. But back in the 80s, he,” she shot yet another dirty look at the still-laughing Mr. Discord, “was the most notorious conman in the country.” Fluttershy's eyes went wide. “He defrauded countless people, businesses, and even cities, using blackmail and bribery and even riots to cover his tracks! The police finally managed to track him down here in Canterlot, but the last few days before his arrest..,” she closed her eyes and shuddered, “they were pure chaos.”

“Hah! Good times, good times,” Mr. Discord said, wiping away a single happy tear. “But never fear,” he drew himself back up with his cane hanging from his arm, “I have completely resolved myself to turning over a new leaf and living out the rest of my days as an upstanding citizen. No more Tartarus State Penitentiary for me, isn't it grand? And I'm sure with all your patience and kindness,” he said, drawing first Dr. Rescue and then Fluttershy into a group side-hug, “we'll all end up the best of friends before this is all over.”

“I doubt it,” Dr. Rescue deadpanned.

Fluttershy, frozen stiff in terror, merely squeaked and collapsed onto the floor. A few sad howls and squawks and other cries echoed from the back rooms.

“Fluttershy!” Dr. Rescue gasped, pushing herself out of Mr. Discord's hug and kneeling down to the young woman's side.

Mr. Discord hopped back a step, his eyes wide with alarm. “For the record, that had nothing to do with me.”

Author's Note

Oh god, Fluttershy, I'm so sorry for what I put you through...it had to happen, but you didn't deserve it. Maybe Saturday will be a better day for you.

That aside...it's interesting how different the first meeting between this version of Fluttershy and Discord is compared to their dynamic in Equestria. This Fluttershy is stronger here, I think, than her pony self was in season two. She's faced down a bunch of baddies, got some cool magic, and come out on top. Discord, meanwhile, is thoroughly mortal and very much afraid of rotting away in prison. He's still an asshole, of course, but he's more easily controlled than the Spirit of Chaos we all know and love.

It's definitely been interesting translating both characters into this situation, and I'm definitely looking forward to developing their (strictly non-romantic) relationship in future stories. :yay:

This storyline is preceded by Spare Me, is continued loosely in No Other Choice, and more directly in Synchrony.