The Misadventures of Derpy and Rainbow Dash

by ShutUpEmmy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 1829

So Derpy becomes Rainbow Dash's roommate ...

When Rainbow Dash has to find a roommate quick to solve her rent issue, Derpy is the only one who answers Rainbow's prayers. Every since they moved in together things have been quite wild for the both of them, making everyday life situations much more challenging then they should be.

Published 2017-04-15 17:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-15 17:40:01 UTC

The Beginning! (Cause where else would you start?)

Rainbow Dash wasn’t making enough money for her rent. She had been working endlessly as a wonderbolt, as well as taking a part-time job for weather service in Ponyville, but she was still short on money. To deal with this dilemma, Rainbow invited Twilight to Sugar Cube Corner for advice.

“There are many ways to get more money for your rent” Twilight started, “but if you are unable to make the money by the deadline then I bet you could possibly get more time”

“Well … I’ve kind of been behind on my rent for the past couple months actually,” Rainbow moaned, “and my landlord Pearl said if I don’t get her the money by this months rent I’ll have to hit the streets”

“Oh …” Twilight said shocked. She pulled out a binder in her bag and slammed it on the table the two were sitting on. The binder was packed, and probably couldn’t even fit another paper. The binder was titled, Solutions, and had possible answers to any problem. Just how much free time does Twilight have? She flipped through a couple of sections in her binder to find the Home Solutions section. “You could possibly …” Twilight started, but Rainbow Dash quickly stopped listening.

“Geez, Twilight just keeps going on and on doesn’t she? I mean; I just wanted a simple answer for this. In fact, I was hoping she would just give me money. I know it sounds wrong, but I’m in a crunch here. Twilight wouldn’t know the struggle I’m going through right now, she never has to deal with her rent. Does her castle even have a rent? Her library probably did. I’m betting she set up bonds for her house money. What an egghead thing to do. Rainbow focus! You need to figure out how to deal with your rent” Rainbow thought to herself. She tried to listen to what Twilight was saying, but then she had a sudden realization, “Wait a minute! Rainbow you can’t listen now, you’d be so confused! You missed about half of her speech … I wonder if she turned it into a song. Probably. I guess it’s up to me to figure this out. But what could I do? I’ve tried so many things! Autograph signing, picture taking with me, even a kissing booth! Yet no one showed up to any of those! Then again I guess 200 bits was an unreasonable amount for all of those. My jobs aren’t enough to pay each month's rent either. Now that I’m thinking about it I probably should have planned out my life better. Being a wonderbolt is amazing and all, it’s practically a dream come true, but it doesn’t really pay anything. I guess it’s just for the fame, guts, and glory. How do wonderbolts get an income anyway? I guess it’s from the performances we put on; do those get a ton of money? Am I being scammed right now? Now that I think about it I feel like I should get a lot more money than I actually am getting right now. Darn it! I should have finished high school!”

“You can get a roommate to split the rent with” Twilight suggested, but Rainbow Dash was still only half listening.

“Come on Rainbow, what are you going to do?” suddenly, as if it was magic, Rainbow Dash came up with an idea, “I’ve got it! I’ll get a roommate!” Rainbow cheered aloud,

“Th-that’s what I just said…” Twilight said,

“Hmmm … I don’t remember it that way,” Rainbow said, “Now if you excuse me I have a lot of work to do”

Rainbow Dash bolted out of there, blowing a gust of wind into Twilights face. Immediately after, the waiter handed Twilight the bill, only to be followed by a sigh from Twilight. Rainbow then immediately made flyers and put them all over Ponyville, on street lamps, buildings, on the ceiling next to the picture of Luna in the boy’s bathroom. Once the flyers were spread out, Rainbow then spent a good 10 minutes working on the contract. Things were going perfect, at least that’s what Rainbow Dash thought. It had been two days, and still, no one had answered Rainbow’s flyers. She was starting to lose hope, but suddenly she heard a knock on the door! Who could have answered her ad? Rainbow dashed to the door, opened it to see whom her future roommate would be. To her surprise it was only the pizza guy. She had forgotten she had ordered a pity pizza. Rainbow paid the stallion, going further into debt, and decided it might be best to pack up all of her belongings. But right about as Rainbow Dash was losing hope, she heard another knock the door. Rainbow opened it, maybe being her last line of hope. She then found the pizza guy again. “Your short one bit,” he said. Rainbow paid the extra bit and watched him fly away. But to Rainbow’s shock, she found Derpy behind where the pizza stallion was once standing; she held up the flyer Rainbow Dash had put out. Rainbow was saved! Though, instead of being excited, Rainbow was a little shocked and annoyed. Out of all of the ponies to answer her ad, it had to be Derpy. Rainbow had no other option though, so she invited Derpy into her house.

They both sat down on the couch to discuss the living situation. “Yeah, overall it’s an awesome house, and you get to live with an awesome roommate. It’s a win, win” Rainbow smiled, Derpy though was too fixated on the light fixture above them to be listening.

“Does the light come with the house?” Derpy asked, pointing to the hanging circular light above them.

“Y-yes …” Rainbow stuttered. This was the turning point. When Derpy saw the house, she was a little unimpressed. It didn’t exactly suit her taste. But when she saw the light fixture she decided that she could live in a dreadful house as long as that was there.

“I’ll be glad to be your roommate then” Derpy cheered, swaying her head back and forth. Rainbow jumped up in the air and did a little flip cheering. Her dilemma had been saved! Depry signed the handwritten contract, and happily unpacked her stuff into her room in the house. Although that Derpy was going to be Rainbow Dash’s roommate, how much trouble could one pony be?

It's no fun being sick (even though you get to miss school)

After swimming in the dirty pond that Twilight said specifically not to do, Rainbow became very sick the next morning. Rainbow tossed and turned in her bed to try and find a position that would make her feel somewhat better, but it was to no prevail. Derpy came in to take Rainbow’s temperature. Rainbow Dash wasn’t exactly thrilled that she had to have a roommate, but the one good thing about it is that they take care of you when you're sick. At least Derpy does. Derpy took Rainbow’s temperature to find out that she wasn’t actually all that sick. She didn’t have a fever or anything, and yet Rainbow kept complaining about how awful she felt. “Derpy I’m dying!” Rainbow dramatically cried throwing her arm over her head.

“I’ll make you soup!” Derpy smiled. She trotted over to the kitchen only hitting two walls on the journey there. Derpy looked all over the kitchen for a can of soup, the search felt endless, until Derpy saw two cans on the counter right in front of her the whole time. One of the cans was alphabet tomato soup, while the other one was cat food. Derpy never thought she would have to face this challenge on her quest. She frantically looked back and forth between two cans, breaking a sweat after a couple minutes.

“Derpy!” Rainbow whined. Derpy was running out of time, she had to make a decision quickly. She slowly reached for one of the cans, but at the last minute, she switched her reach to the other can. Now it was time for the ultimate unveiling. She slowly poured the substance inside the can slowly into a bowl, to find that she was correct! Alphabet soup filled the bow to its rim! She dashed over Rainbow Dash and gave her the soup.

“Look, I rearranged the words to say ‘get better soon’!” Derpy cheered. It actually said “sajkshfteulgi” but it’s the thought that counts. Rainbow took a sip of the soup, to find that it was cold. Derpy didn’t heat it up.

“Derpy! My soup is cold!” Rainbow whined again. Derpy tasted the soup, smacking her lips together to prolong the taste.

“I think it is just right!” Derpy said enthusiastically,

“Derpy you just drank out of it! It’s contaminated!” Rainbow cried, “I’m sick enough already, I don’t want to get cooties!”

Cooties!? Derpy had no clue that she had that condition! Derpy couldn’t focus on her friend’s well being right now, she had enough to worry about herself. Just how long did Derpy have this disease? Could she have spread to her friends? Did Derpy just start a pandemic!? “Derpy can you tuck me in?” Rainbow whimpered,

“Not now Rainbow Dash, a mission is calling me!” Derpy proudly said, putting her hoof on her chest. She bolted out of Rainbow’s home and headed straight for Dr. Whooves’ laboratory. When she got there Dr. Whooves was working on his latest invention, he was delicately attaching wires together to his machine. Derpy ran in and shoved his invention off the table, smashing it into pieces. “Doctor we have an emergency!” Derpy cried,

“What is it?” he asked,

“I have recently learned that I have cooties”

Dr. Whooves looked at her for a minute, “Derpy you know that cooties are just a myth, right?”

“Doctor this is serious!” Derpy yelled, “We need to make an antidote immediately!”

“But it’s a myth!” Dr. Whooves said again,

“Fine! If you won’t help me, then I’ll have to do it myself. For the sake of pony kind!” Derpy then worked restlessly to find a cure for cooties. She did a lot of cliché stuff during that montage, including pouring two substances of liquid into each other’s beakers over and over again even though it did nothing. But after checking her final math equation, 4+2, she had somehow created the cure for cooties! A blank face appeared on Dr. Whooves’ face. Derpy had done it! “Now if you excuse me, my mission is just beginning!” she said.

Derpy flew around Ponyville and poured her cure to rid cooties from everyone! After that day, no one mentioned a thing about having cooties believe it or not. Derpy felt gleeful after a successful mission, though she thought she was forgetting something.

Back at the house, Rainbow Dash was writing her will, she seriously thought she was dying.