“Stop that!” Bon Bon chastised.

“What?” Lyra exclaimed, through a mouthful of pilfered gumdrops. Her theatrics would have fooled the average pony, but Bon Bon was wise. Either that, or she had eyes in the back of her mane.

“If you keep eating the stock, we’ll have nothing to sell,” Bon Bon muttered, confiscating the jar of gumdrops and offering it to a small jet black colt instead. He grinned from ear to ear, hastily scooping a couple hooffulls into a paper bag. His mother, a silver pegasus mare, held out a wingtip. Two small golden bits were perched on one of her primary feathers. Bon Bon accepted them with a friendly smile, bidding the pair farewell. The mare returned a grin of her own, before leading her son away through the busy marketplace.

“I’m bored,” Lyra complained, watching the mother and son stroll happily away, free to do whatever they pleased. Being late spring, the day was a glorious one. The sun shone over a cloudless sky, and it seemed everypony was enjoying the weather pegasi’s efforts. Lyra could think of countless things she would rather be doing on such a day.

Unfortunately, Bon Bon took the declaration to mean that Lyra wanted more work to keep her busy. “Here—make yourself useful and separate these lemon hearts from these sherbert lemons. Somepony mixed them up.”

Lyra sighed, levitating the jar of lemon flavoured candies. “I have an old friend named Lemon Hearts from back when I lived in Canterlot. She would probably find this tedious as well…” Not to mention needlessly nitpicky, Lyra finished in her head.

Evidently, Bon Bon had adopted selective hearing, as she held out a hoof to greet another old friend of Lyra’s. A lavender unicorn, her nose buried in a length of parchment, and her two-tone purple mane and tail looking a shade unkept. It was only when the small purple and green dragon perched on her back tapped a claw to her shoulder that she even noticed Bon Bon was there.

“Huh?” She blinked. “Oh, Bon Bon! Hi!” she said, finally bumping a forehoof against Bon Bon’s.

Lyra blew a mock-kiss at her old friend. “Twilight! Nice to see a pretty face,” she said, adding a wink for good measure.

Twilight rolled her eyes, though her cheeks reddened a shade. Too easy. “Hello, Lyra. I hope you’ve been keeping out of trouble.”

“Please—as if I would be so mischievous as to cause trouble,” Lyra chuckled, unscrewing the lid off the lemon confectionary jar and levitating the candies inside it around in a mini tornado.

“Got any gems?” the dragon asked Bon Bon. He slid off Twilight’s back, his eyes scanning the various candies laid out on the stall.

Bon Bon grabbed a small jar from the back row. It was filled with tiny crystals of different colours that glinted in the sunlight. Lyra raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? Dragons are the only species that can even digest those, yet you still have them?”

“Of course! I’d never forget about Spikey-Wikey,” she said, affectionately ruffling his scales and setting the jar down within his reach. Spike grinned, before whirling around on the spot and levelling big green puppy-dog eyes at Twilight.

Twilight considered the dragon for the briefest of moments. “Fine, but don’t fill up on them. We still have to have lunch,” she said, her horn flashing. A small pouch full of bits appeared, and Twilight was halfway through levitating a few coins out of it before Bon Bon waved her down.

“On the house, Twilight,” Bon Bon insisted.

“No, don’t be silly. Of course I’ll pay-”

“No, really, Twilight. We’re friends-” Bon Bon began, but stopped as her words were almost drowned out by a bizarre roaring sound that was getting steadily louder. Her face fell, a look of fear crossing her features.

Lyra stiffened. She’d seen that look on her friend’s face only once before—in the presence of the nightmare returned from exile. Anything that scared Bon Bon so much was not okay in her book. “Twi…” Lyra began.

Twilight looked confused, more than anything else. “What is that?” she asked, craning her neck over the crowd. Ponies had definitely started to take notice, several of them shrieking. Pegasi took to the air for a better view, some of them nearly falling out of the sky in shock not a moment later.

Spike cracked open the jar of gems, throwing a clawful into his mouth and climbing back up onto Twilight’s back to try and get a better view. Lyra charged her horn, ready to blast away anything that might harm her friends.

“Rainbow Dash?” Twilight yelled, her eyes tracking a sky blue pegasus mare soaring overhead. She would have been difficult to spot if it weren’t for her rainbow mane and tail leaving a shimmering contrail.

“Look out!” Rainbow Dash yelled to the crowd, who began to scatter in all directions even before the words had left her mouth. “Twilight,” she gasped, finally spotting the unicorn, “we need to stop this thing!”

“What thi-” Lyra began to ask, but her breath abandoned her when she spotted said thing heading straight for her.

“Gah!” Lyra yelped. A strange creature, barrelling along atop a growling two-wheeled contraption was making a beeline for her. Panic clouded her mind, chasing her focus away. Her charged horn took advantage of the distraction and fired a beam of volatile amber plasma right into the middle of the fleeing ponies. Oh, Celestia! No! Lyra pointed her horn skyward, but not quickly enough.

Somehow, the beam managed to miss the panicked crowd, also narrowly missing the contraption itself. It instead slammed into an apple stand, causing a violent explosion of wood and produce. The remaining ponies that hadn’t yet fled were showered with debris, some of it on fire.

“Yikes!” Twilight yelped. The unicorn’s horn flared, dousing the flames with a gushing torrent of soap suds. Spike threw another clawful of gems in his mouth, observing the scene as though it was the fifth act of a mildly entertaining play.

The contraption’s growls and pops quickly turned into screams and bangs. Probably because it thinks I just tried to kill it, Lyra thought. It sprayed fire and dirt from its rear, its front rearing up as it took off through the marketplace.

“I think you made it mad!” Rainbow Dash yelled, shooting off after the creature.

“Twahlight! What in tarnation is goin’ on here? Mah… Mah apple stand!” yelled Applejack—an orange earth pony with a tri-apple cutie mark. She threw her stetson to the ground.

“Um… That was actually me… Sorry,” Lyra shamefully admitted.

“You? Lyra—that blast could’ve killed somepony!” Applejack shot back.

Lyra’s ears dropped a shade. “It was an accident,” Lyra feebly replied, her words all but drowned out by the screams of the ponies and the contraption.

The strange machine roared its way back around the marketplace, recklessly knocking over barrels and narrowly avoiding crates of stock. Two bright, almost blinding lights shone from its front. All but the most curious of ponies had fled. Those remaining had taken to hiding behind the abandoned stalls.

“Enough is enough,” Applejack growled. She produced a length of rope from Luna knew where, and made a spinning lasso. Taking aim, she launched the rope toward the contraption, keeping the end of it clenched firmly in her jaws. It wrapped around the rear end of the machine, and Applejack’s eyes shone in triumph… for all of about two seconds, that is.

The earth pony was strong, without a doubt, but she clearly had a severe disadvantage in the weight department. The machine dragged her off her hooves in an instant, and she bounced around like a ragdoll for a few hundred yards before finally letting go and careening into a pie stand.

“Applejack!” Twilight cried, teleporting with a loud ‘crack’ and a flash of light to the downed farm pony. Spike fell to the floor, cursing the unicorn under his breath as he grumpily gathered up the clawful of gems he’d dropped.

Lyra took aim at the creature, this time allowing her mind to focus. “Ah’m fine,” Lyra heard Applejack grunt from somewhere behind her, probably waving down Twilight’s mollycoddling.

Clearly, a tactile approach was needed. If she could just take the contraption out of the equation, then the situation could be salvaged without needless casualty. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash had other ideas.

THWACK.

The prismatic pegasus—in true ego-horse style—slammed herself into the front of the contraption with the grace and delicacy of a timberwolf in a forest fire. She was punted off it like a feathery pinball, flying head over crotch-tits through the side window of a house and disappearing completely. Lyra barely had time to stifle a fit of laughing her flanks off before having to hastily pull Bon Bon out of the way.

The machine crashed into the sweet stall, it’s rear-end rising up and throwing the creature riding atop it into a pile of hay bales behind the next stall over. Several jars shattered, sending glass shards and candies in all directions as the contraption fell on its side and finally stopped growling.

With the dust gradually settling, the marketplace was left deathly silent. Lyra doubted it had ever been so quiet on a Saturday before.

Not that it lasted. The creature began stirring, but Rainbow Dash—apparently having pulled all the glass shards from her feathers—swooped down and pinned the creature to the ground with her forehooves. “Stay right where you are!” she yelled.

The creature, however, did not.

It grabbed Rainbow Dash by the wings with dragon-like appendages, launching her into the air. Rainbow caught herself almost instantly, but was a bit more wary of approaching it again. “Hey!” she chastised, but the creature rose up on bipedal legs. It was almost as tall as a minotaur, though marginally less menacing.

It shouted something inaudible and slightly muffled, and began waving its arms and pointing at Rainbow Dash and the now-silent contraption… then it turned purple. Or, at least—the air around it did.

“Is… Is it trying to speak?” Bon Bon squeaked, her ears flat, and her eyes bouncing from pony to pony. Twilight and Applejack eyed the creature with caution, Twilight’s horn glowing the same shade of purple surrounding it.

“I’m pretty sure it’s wearing a helmet, Bon Bon,” Spike commented, his tongue flicking out and catching the gem he’d just flicked from his claw. The creature turned its head at Spike’s words, now silently observing.

Twilight slowly approached it. “Can you understand us?”

* * *

Civilisation.

“Surely, someone will be there, and surely, that someone will be able to tell me where I am?”

That was the thought that occurred to Kye upon spotting the small village at the foot of the mountain. It hadn’t taken him long to reach the town, but by the time he had—he knew his thinking had probably been a tad wishful.

The town, as it transpired, was full of ponies.

Yes, ponies. Though shorter than the one that had invaded his dreams, they were able to talk, and appeared to behave like humans. Unicorns, ponies with wings that flew above the quaint little rooftops, and just plain old ponies that shrieked all the same and fled away from the rumbling Yamaha.

Kye shunted the unsettling observations from his mind. This was turning out to be some Inception-level shit, but the thing that put him at unease the most was the fact that this felt nothing like a dream. It was all too real. Their colours too vibrant, sounds clear as day. Plus, his motorcycle was now behaving exactly as it always had—no freaky speedometer messages or blatant lies about how fast he was going.

Which currently, was not very.

The streets were wide open, with small, bumpy dirt paths that thoroughly disagreed with the bike’s custom Ohlins suspension. Neatly cropped grass separated the houses, most of which seemed to be fully detached properties with frames constructed of wooden beams and roofs composed of straw.

He continued to blindly make his way through the town, until one of the flying ponies—a sky blue pony with a multi-coloured mane and tail—started flying towards him instead of fleeing like the others.

It yelled something, but Kye wasn’t really in the mood to stop and chat. He twisted the throttle, the rear wheel spinning in its quest for traction. A fork in the dirt path prompted Kye to make a snap decision. He leaned the bike wildly to the left, narrowly missing a flagpole that held a set of vibrant pink banners. Rounding the corner of a small dwelling, the ground changed from loose dirt and gravel, into a smooth stone that almost resembled pavement. The grippy surface was indeed a welcome change, but other than that, he realised with horror that he really should have went right.

A sea of ponies were gathered around a large circular building. It was constructed primarily of wooden beams, not unlike the houses, but it was much larger. Its roof tapered to a point, and it had two balconies running around its entire circumference. Many of the balcony’s inhabitants were already staring down at him in shock.

Kye was forced to brake hard to avoid mowing the ponies down. The rear tyre locked, before lifting up off the deck completely as the bike rotated over the front wheel, almost flipping. Thankfully, it stopped just short of a small grey pony, the rear tyre slamming back down with a loud clatter from the shocker.

The small pony looked up at Kye as though he was the living embodiment of Gojira. He was so close that it was easy to see she was female. Her long, feminine lashes framed large blue eyes that were wide and fearful. Her vibrant mane and tail—a unique and strangely satisfying blend of blood red and darkest black shone in the sunlight. A set of grey wings sprang from her sides and covered her face. Kye could still see the look of terror in her eyes through a gap in her feathers…

An odd feeling overcome him. It took him a second or two to realise it was guilt. Ponies started fleeing in all directions, but the little grey pony in front of him seemed too scared to do anything but hide behind her own wings.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Kye said, but ultimately figured she probably couldn't hear him over the sound of the rumbling engine and the shrieking ponies.

CLONK.

Something hard collided with the top of Kye’s helmet. He cursed. Loudly.

“You leave her alone!” yelled the blue winged pony with the multi-coloured mane and tail as something thudded to the ground a few feet away—an iron horseshoe. Well, that’s probably left a dent. Kye scowled beneath his visor.

With the twist of the bars, the bike surged back into motion—swerving around the grey pony and speeding off toward a water fountain in the shape of a wingless, hornless pony. Several stalls were dotted about around the large building in the centre, but Kye couldn’t spot anywhere that he could slip away from the annoying blue pest that was still following him and attempting to lob more of her equine-footwear at his motorcycle.

“Look out!” she called to the other ponies that hadn’t started running away yet.

“For fuck’s sake! I’m not some axe murderer, you feathery little asshole!” Kye yelled, but she obviously didn’t hear him.

A beam of amber light suddenly blasted past Kye’s shoulder, nearly blinding him and causing him to jerk the bars into a tank slapper. It was so hot he was able to feel it through his leathers. Holy shit! A split second later, something exploded behind him, showering flaming debris a good fifty feet.

Kye sped up, the front wheel lifting under acceleration. Did one of these ponies have a plasma cannon? Were those a thing here? What the fuck? The whole area surrounding the town was now void of all but a few ponies. Kye checked around for the small grey pony from before as he looped back around the building in the center of town, but she was nowhere to be seen.

No doubt she finally managed to fly away from the big scary monster. He sighed, scanning around for a little side street to disappear into. He needed some time to think. Alone.

The bike suddenly slowed, and Kye was nearly thrown forward over the bars. What the fuck? Throwing a quick glance at a mirror, he spotted one of the ponies lying in a heap of what looked like pie tins. What’s more—there was now a length of rope trailing behind his bike. Had one of the ponies just tried to lasso him? Seriously?

Yet again, he was given no time to ponder their strange behaviours.

SLAM.

“Fuck!”

The Yamaha was knocked off course. Kye was unable to correct in time.

SMASH.

The sound of breaking glass rang through the air, and Kye was unceremoniously launched into the side of a hay bale. He bounced off of it, landing on his back on the stone floor. He barely had time to check none of his bones were broken before the annoying blue pest descended.

“Stay right where you are!”

Not fucking likely.

With surprising ease, Kye grabbed the pony by the wings and threw her as hard as he could. She was lighter than she appeared, and even that wasn’t much. She quickly caught herself, however, turning to glare at him in midair. “Hey!” she yelled. Kye glared right back, though she probably couldn’t see his expression through his tinted visor.

“Why couldn’t you just leave me the fuck alone?!” he shouted, pointing a gloved hand at her. “Look at the state of my ride! You don’t see me fucking up your shit for no reason. Why the fuck did you have to make me crash? You feathery little asshole!” Kye screamed through his helmet. He didn’t lose his temper often, but to say he was angry would’ve been a bit more than an understatement.

His bike was a mess. The plastics were cracked, a headlight was hanging off. Hell, the forks were more than likely bent from hitting the stall. He was raging so much, his vision turned red… No, not red. Purple.

Everything was purple.

Why was everything purple?

“I’m pretty sure it’s wearing a helmet, Bon Bon,” someone said. Kye looked around for the source of the scratchy little voice.

… The fuck is that?

He spotted a small, scaly purple and green creature. It sort of resembled an overgrown lizard, with green fins protruding from its head and face. It was eyeing him with mild interest and munching away on what appeared to be… gemstones?

“Can you understand us?”

Tearing his gaze from the lizard, Kye laid eyes on a purple unicorn. Her bright, lavender eyes shone with the kind of excited curiosity usually only seen in gifted children learning about the world. Fear was nowhere to be seen on this pony’s face. That, more than anything, earned Kye’s attention. Her mane and tail were primarily purple, with a pink stripe running the entire length of both. A pink star adorned her flank, surrounded by five smaller white ones.

Kye slowly nodded, attempting to waft the annoying purple haze away from him. His hand collided with it, and he jumped backwards, only for his back to collide with it too.

“What the… What is this?”

“Twilight,” said another unicorn.

This horned pony had a coat of mint green, pleasantly complimented by an ice blue and white mane and tail. The image of a golden harp-like instrument was pictured on her flank, and her eyes were a particular shade of amber…

“You!” Kye gasped, pointing at the unicorn and attempting to back away. He was hindered by the weird purple force field again. “You almost fecking killed me!”

He couldn’t breathe. Fumbling around with his gloves, he slipped them off and threw them to the ground, before shakily unclasping his helmet and pulling it off.

The minty unicorn blinked, her face falling somewhat. “You think? No! No, I wasn’t aiming for you! I didn’t mean to…”

Kye punched the forcefield. His hand bounced harmlessly away from it as though it was made of rubber. “What the fuck is this shit?”

“Twilight, drop the shield already. He’s not a threat!” the mint unicorn pleaded.

“Yeah, right,” the rainbow pony cut in, warily eyeing the busted motorcycle.

“Don’t you dare, you furry little ball of-” Kye began, but was cut off by everyone suddenly wanting to have their say.

“Now, Rainbow. Ah honestly don’t think he is…”

“... was obviously just scared. Maybe he’s not used to magic?”

“What about my sweet stall? This thing has completely bulldozed it!”

“I found more gems on the floor. I can have them, right?”

“ENOUGH!” yelled the pony named Twilight. A large bubble of purple light expanded from her horn, before quickly evaporating away. All of the ponies fell silent, and Kye’s vision returned to normal. He extended an arm in front of him, and sighed with relief when he discovered he was actually able to do so.

“Rainbow Dash, I know you were concerned for everypony’s safety, but I think our guest here had no intention of hurting anypony. Am I correct?”

Kye blinked, still half staring at the air where the weird force field thingy had vanished. “Yeah,” he muttered.

Rainbow eyed him warily for a second, but glided down to the ground and folded her wings. “Okay, but if you ever grab my wings like that again-”

“Dash!” the minty pony growled. “Just shut it already.”

Kye grinned. I think I like you, Harpflank. “What’s your name?

She smiled, and the sun seemed to shine a little brighter. “I’m Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Never mind introductions—who’s going to clean up all this mess?” a slightly miffed looking creme-coated pony interrupted. She gave the fallen motorcycle a particularly filthy look.

Kye scowled. “That mess is my pride and joy. And now it’s ruined.” As if being stuck in a realm of talking ponies wasn’t bad enough, he’d now lost the one thing that made him happy.

“Both of you, calm down. I think I may be able to help,” Twilight said, trotting up to the broken stall.

Kye watched in utter bewilderment as the Yam became enveloped by the shimmering purple outline. The bike floated up from the ground as though it was a helium balloon copy of itself, rotating through the air until the wheels pointed toward the ground. He realised with a pang of sadness that the forks were indeed bent inwards, and the front wheel was jammed against the intercooler.

“So, do you have a name?” Lyra asked.

Kye blinked, forgetting he hadn’t yet introduced himself. “Kye Lawson,” he muttered, rather awkwardly. The weirdness of the whole situation was beginning to creep up on him. He wasn’t sure which question he wanted to ask first. Consequently, they all seemed to come tumbling out of his mouth at the same time. “Where am I?” he asked Lyra. “And... how is she doing that?” he exclaimed, pointing to Twilight and her sorcery. “Are you a lizard?” he inquired of the creature munching on the gems. “Why are you wearing a hat?” he shot at the orange pony with apples on her flanks. “I’ve never seen a pony wearing a hat. It’s not something ponies tend to do where I come from.”

The lizard scowled. “I’m a dragon. Duh,” he muttered, cracking a few more of the precious stones between his teeth. Talking ponies. Talking dragons, too. Why not?

“And this is Ponyville,” Lyra chirped, waving a hoof over the deserted marketplace. “It’s, umm… usually more lively than this,” she finished with an awkward grin.

“Yeah… I guess I could’ve been a bit quieter… Sorry about that,” Kye said, giving a drawn out sigh. “I don’t suppose any of you could help me find my way back home, could you?”

Lyra glanced at Twilight, but she was apparently too busy staring at Kye’s bike to notice. It slowly revolved in the air as she studied it. “Well, uh… where do you come from?” Lyra asked, turning her gaze upon him once more.

“England.”

The unicorn blinked, as if waiting for elaboration.

“The United Kingdom?” Kye added. He knew already he was wasting his time.

One of Lyra’s ears flicked. She brought a hoof to her chin.

“Planet Earth?” Kye intoned.

“Never heard of it,” the dragon cut in, finishing off his gems with a flaming burp.

Kye let out a sigh, pressing the palms of his hands into his eye sockets so hard stars began dancing over his retinas. After a few moments, he removed them, and his vision returned. The wrecked marketplace, the ponies and the dragon remained defiantly existent, despite his best efforts to somehow will himself back to normality.

“Are you… Are you okay?” asked the mint green one. Lyra, one of the unicorns.

With a blink, he gazed down into her large amber eyes, her silky mane shifting in the pleasantly warm breeze. Undoubtedly, there was genuine concern there, but it wasn’t enough to take away the oddity of the situation. “No… You’re a frickin’ unicorn,” he muttered, shaking his head. “You’re not supposed to be real, let alone asking me if I’m okay.”

Her ears visibly drooped a shade at his words, and Kye felt a pang of guilt hit him like a bowling ball.

“Hey,” chastised a creme coated pony. Blue and pink curls made up her mane and tail, and a small image of a collection of sweets adorned her flank. She glared at Kye, who realised with a grimace that she was indeed the owner of the confectionery stall he’d just demolished. “I don’t know where you come from, but around here—unicorns have as much right to exist as everypony else!”

“I’m sorry,” Kye said, more to Lyra than her friend. “A lot has happened to me over the past twenty-four hours. I have no idea if I’m dead, or dying. I could be hallucinating for all I know. I just… I need a minute.”

“Don’t you worry non, Sugarcube. You look right as rain to me,” said the hat-wearing pony, a warm smile on her muzzle.

“Thanks,” Kye muttered, savouring what little consolation he could. “So, uhh… what’s your name?”

“Ah’m Applejack, of Sweet Apple Acres,” she exclaimed, tipping her headgear with a hoof. “This here is Twahlight Sparkle,” she motioned to the purple unicorn still levitating the Yamaha, seemingly oblivious to everything else. “That there is Spike,” she pointed to the lizard—no, not the lizard, the dragon. He was still munching gemstones off the ground and looked rather bored with proceedings. “You already know Lyra,” she chuckled, nodding to the minty unicorn that had nearly murdered Kye just a few moments ago. “A word of advice—don’t ever get in a fight with Lyra.”

“AJ!” Lyra hissed, a few amber sparks igniting at her horntip. Kye recoiled, eyeing the magical appendage with trepidation. He had no trouble at all figuring out that it would be extremely unwise to fuck with Lyra.

“And our winged friend here is Rainbow Dash,” Applejack continued, ignoring Lyra’s outburst and pointing an orange forehoof to the feathery menace that had chased Kye halfway across the village. The pony turned up her muzzle as she hovered in the air, but broke the facade a second later by sneaking a sly glance at Kye.

“And I’m Bon Bon, the pony you owe a Saturday’s worth of bits!” the creme coated pony with the sweets on her flank cut in.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Lyra scoffed, levelling her friend with a look of incredulity. “That wasn’t Kye’s fault. Rainbow’s, maybe, if you insist on pointing hooves-”

“Say what?” Rainbow yelled.

“Enough!”

All eyes turned to Twilight, who had apparently snapped out of her little trance. “Nopony need demand any bits. I think I may have a solution. Just, give me a moment.”

The glow from her horn intensified somewhat, spreading over the carnage of shattered glass, spilled stock, and bits of Kye’s broken pride and joy. Kye frowned, as he witnessed all of the debris break free of gravity. It seemed to move with a noticeable amount of fidelity, rather than just randomly floating up off the ground.

Something brushed his hand, and he looked down to spot a glowing shard of glass spinning toward a point in the air. Several other shards were also heading for the same point, just slightly to his left. Their speed increased, as though drawn to each other. They met in a flash of purple light, forming an intact glass jar.

Kye blinked. This world just kept slapping physics in the face. Wait… If that was possible…

Kye’s gaze snapped to the floating Yamaha. The forks were still bent. His face fell. In fact, nothing looked all that different-wait! No—the headlight wasn’t hanging out anymore! Plus, most of the cracks in the fairing had disappeared. “No way…” he breathed.

The ponies and the dragon watched with silent intrigue. Twilight’s eyes flicked over the ground, combing around for the smaller bits of glass. Several jars now floated in the air, some of them already being filled with the sweets that had been spilled.

Kye gasped, his jaw practically falling off his face. The front wheel of his ride gradually lifted off the intercooler. How the fuck? Twilight wasn’t even looking at the bike, yet it was twisting itself back into its original shape regardless. She still had her muzzle to the ground, searching for debris that had scattered under the broken stall. No, scratch that—the stall wasn’t even broken anymore. The wooden frame had apparently sprung back together, good as new.

Satisfied that she’d collected all of the wreckage, Twilight glanced at the floating jars. Four more snapped back to existence under her full attention, before being filled by a vortex of floating candy swirling around them. Once all the sweets were sorted, the jars neatly arranged themselves on the stall. Alphabetically.

“There. No harm done, see?” Twilight announced, before giving one of the empty jars a grimace. “If you don’t count Spike’s gluttony.”

All of the ponies were just as speechless as Kye, it seemed. Spike, however, just shrugged, smacking his freaky lizard lips together.

“Twi, that was amazing! I had no idea you could pull something like that off,” Bon Bon praised, clopping her forehooves together.

Twilight’s cheeks reddened, despite being covered in purple fur. “Oh, It’s just a Controlzee Reversal enchantment. Just a simple spell for cleaning-”

“Simple?” Lyra interrupted, shooting Twilight an incredulous look. “That spell is a quantifiable subcomponent of Starswirl the Bearded’s time altering paradigm. I’d give my left crotch nipple to be able to cast it.”

Twilight blushed even more. “We should really figure out what we’re going to do about Kye,” she nervously chuckled.

Kye’s bike floated over to him, its wheels touching down. There wasn’t a scratch on it. “Wow… Thanks for fixing my ride, but I think I’ll be going now,” he announced. Maybe if he headed back the way he came, he could find a way out of this place. It wasn’t particularly unpleasant, but he’d witnessed enough psychics bending shenanigans to last him a lifetime.

“No!” both Twilight and Lyra yelled in unison.

Kye blinked, halfway through swinging a leg over the Yamaha. “Um… why?”

“Some parts of Equestria can be really dangerous,” Twilight began.

“Yeah, some of the local wildlife can be very… unfriendly, especially if you don’t have magic to keep them in check,” Lyra added.

“Now wait a second there, missy!” Applejack interjected. “Ponies don’t need no magic to keep critters in check. Just gotta have the right attitude, and maybe a strong hoof.”

“Yeah, I don’t know if you noticed, but he doesn’t have hooves,” Lyra pointed out.

Kye rolled his eyes, flicking the bike’s ignition on. “I’ll be fine.” With a roar that made the ponies jump, the bike fired up.

“No, Kye, you really shouldn’t,” Twilight persisted, gently pressing a purple forehoof to his thigh. She could’ve easily stopped him from leaving with that horn of hers, but it was noticeably delaminated.

Kye let out a sigh. Twilight’s large pleading eyes had a lot more effect on him than her words. It was pretty clear he wasn’t going to win this argument. Besides, he hadn’t a clue where he was going to go, or any semblance of a plan. “Fine,” he muttered, finally admitting defeat. “I guess I could stick around for a while.” In horse-themed wonderland. Oh, what fun.

Author's Note

So... finally got around to posting this chapter. It's not like it's been sitting almost finished in gdocs for a couple of months or anything...

Okay, fine. I'm an asshat for writing 5k then leaving it for an inexcusable amount of time only to then add another four hundred words or so. The thing is—this is isn't the only fic I do this with. I've got about four half written one shots just sitting there, waiting for me to pluck up the motivation to finish them. Oh, and not to blow my own horn here, but they're good. Some bits could of them could even be considered funny! Who'd have thought it? Me, actually writing something that can get you magnificent bastards to crack a smile. Hell, the next chapter of Slipstream is practically finished, but I've been so busy murdering radscorpions in Fallout 4 and revising the theory of learning how to drive trucks that it's just been sitting there for ages. Oh, yeah—the career change I haven't mentioned before now. I'm sick of driving taxis. Seriously, fuck taxi driving. I'm learning how to drive artics. Or semis, to you Murikans... Man, this has went on way too long for an AN. If you're still reading this, well done. You deserve a cookie.