Antagonistics Anonymous

by All Art Is Quite Useless

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tirek, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Fleur de Lis, Discord, Slice of Life
Length: 9287

Attending a new group (formed by a certain pegasus) has been the best alternative to prison or banishment for months. Due to the success they have had in reforming the 'irredeemable', they have been allowed to offer guidance to members of the public.

A new organisation has emerged over the last few months: one that was originally covert, but has recently begun to offer its services to all of Equestria.

In the mind of a certain pegasus, the reformation of Nightmare Moon sparked the idea of a better alternative to imprisonment , and her work on reintegrating a certain Spirit of Chaos into society pushed her to move forwards with it. It also gave her the tools to accomplish her goal.

Now, months on, that idea has flourished. The organisation has had so much success, in fact, that Celestia herself has passed a new legislation. This will allow the group of reformed, rehabilitated, and rectified creatures running the show to expand their roster, taking on members of the public, whether they be volunteers, or have managed earn their place through veritable villainy.

Celestia is just glad that she can unload some of those pesky miscreants somewhere else for a change.

*******

This story was written around a thread that I made in the Writer's Group, where users voted on five characters to appear in a story together, the five tagged are the ones that received the most votes.

Published 2017-05-25 21:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-25 21:20:01 UTC

Now, shall we go around the room?

The scent of wet cypress permeated the soft morning air, which drifted freely through a simple, lush stretch of green on the outskirts of Ponyville. A cursory glance at the fields surrounding would reveal birds and woodland creatures aplenty, scampering about as they often do. However, if one were to look further, into the distance, past the long expanse of grass and towards the furthest trees, they might spot something quite strange.

There were many sights in Ponyville that one might consider peculiar. From the sight of the Everfree Forest, which has had self regulating weather for as long as ponies have been aware of, to the antics of the town's very own 'Cutie Mark Crusaders', the town was in no way short of peculiarities, that was certain. This one was different though, because it challenged almost every belief that the average Equestrian citizen held, up until now, at least.

There, sat on the edge of any Ponyvillean's peripherals, were five creatures, nearly all of which sat in a somewhat tight circle. If an onlooker had particularly good sight, they might be able to discern the pair of horns that sat upon one creature's head, or the holes that ran through the chitin-like, charcoal skin of another. If one were to squint, they might even recognise the mismatched body parts that gave the Spirit of Chaos form.

The Spirit of Chaos, known as Discord to his friends (and his enemies, most likely), was currently presiding over four other creatures, two of them equine, two of them not. His mane had been groomed (although not to a point of excellence), and he wore a simple tan jumper as he sat on the grass, impatiently waiting for each of his visitors to take their seats, and get somewhat comfortable on the hard soil. This was a feat that three of them had easily accomplished already, but one, a tall unicorn mare named Fleur, was having some trouble with.

Somewhat irked by Fleur's reluctance to participate in the group's floor sitting, Discord conjured a sleek purple velvet chair behind Fleur, earning a gracious bow and a smile.

Queen Chrysalis's voice was the first to pierce the silence, contempt painted across her face, each word a brush stroke. "You would fashion a seat for her, but not for me, Discord?"

Discord accentuated his compliance with a grunt, eager to get the tedious matter of preparation over with. He soon felt himself suppressing a snarl as he dealt with the denounced queen's next facetious comment.

"Do not forget that I am changeling royalty, throne or not, and I refuse to have the same seating as this pony. Please, Discord, another that better befits my status, and we may continue," the queen rounded off her first sentence with a snide glance at Fleur, and followed up her second with a smug grin.

Fleur was not by any means impressed. "Your status? I am an internationally recognised talent, a consort to nobility, and immeasurably wealthy. What are you? An outcast, regardless of your heritage. So please, don't sit here and try to exert your dominance over me, it will not work, and frankly, it's very unbecoming."

Chrysalis made a poor effort of biting back a scornful laugh. "Internationally recognised? Please, I've never heard of you until now. And excuse me, but 'consort to nobility'? Congratulations, you managed to bag some rich snob, I hope you're proud of yourself."

Fleur tapped a hoof against the side of her chair with minor force. "My husband is not a rich snob, he is a generous and giving pony, a philantrophist, a--"

Chrysalis nodded with some speed, derailing Fleur midspeech as she began waving her hoof. "Yes and he is also kind, charitable, magnanimous, and perfect, I understand." Chrysalis then adopted a false, cheery tone. "Anyways, I wonder how many 'consorts to nobility' it takes to screw in a light bulb? In fact, I do believe we should find that out! Surely you have a lot of friends like yourself that could help in this experiment? The criteria is bored, lonely housewives approaching middle age who pretend to have sustainable careers and businesses but really rely upon their husband's incomes to keep afloat. Wait, don't tell me. All of them, including yourself?"

"Discord, the equines are fighting." Stated a Big Macintosh sized Tirek, sounding slightly uneasy despite his gruff accent.

"Yes, yes, that they are." Discord grinned, although the glint in his eyes suggested a slight intolerance. "But debate can sometimes be healthy, we should let them resolve their small issue before the session starts."

"Do not lie to me, Discord," Tirek snarled. "You are enjoying this argument, even if you might pretend not to."

"Tirek! I am shocked and appalled that you could say such a thing. Simply shocked and appalled. Are you saying that I am an ineffective group leader? Perhaps you'd like to bring that up with our superior?"

Images of bright eyes and an almost paralysing stare appeared in Tirek's mind, seemingly quelling his doubts as to Discord's behaviour. "No... I would rather not. She would chastise me, and I don't want that. Forget I said anything."

"I've already forgotten," Discord assured. "But, maybe I should put a stop to this. It is beginning to drag, after all."

With a cold snap, both Fleur and Chrysalis, who had been competing in who could shout the loudest, found that their running mouths had ceased to produce any noise. Confused, and in Fleur's case, alarmed, they turned to face Discord, who held a volume slider in his paw.

Chrysalis opened her mouth to engage Discord in yet another fiery debate, but found that it was useless. Defeated, she ceased in her action and waited for Discord to speak, as did Fleur. All the while, a light blue unicorn sat in silent laughter.

Satisfied with his success, Discord phased out of existence, before reappearing with a large white truck in tow. He then proceeded to manually unload the truck, feigning exhaustion at points as he dragged four plush chairs out of the truck, situating them behind each member, including himself, before disappearing into the truck. Moments later, he popped up with a huge, girlishly pink throne upon his shoulders, which he audibly grunted under the weight of until he had deposited it in its correct place. Another click, and the truck was gone.

"Does this do your royal position justice, Queen?" he motioned towards the garish throne, smirk clad and eyes alight. Chrysalis, of course, said nothing, but this didn't stop Discord from nodding her way. "I wholeheartedly agree! It does contrast well with your eyes! Now, sit." Another click, and each of them appeared upon their seats, as if they had been there the entire time. "Now, I know a couple of you are already familiar with this, but for the newcomers I'll explain the process. I hope you're paying attention, as I do hate repeating myself."

Discord motioned to each of them with a paw, his impish smile diminishing slightly, but still present. "You, and you," he gestured to Tirek and Chrysalis, "already know the drill. These sessions have been implemented as a means to improve one's self as a pony." Discord paused. "Or, as a draconequus." Another pause. "Or, a centuar." Another. "Or, a changeling." A sigh. "You get the point. We are all here for a reason. Maybe you received a summons, maybe you volunteered! But, I doubt you volunteered. Chances are, you earned your place in this group somehow, and should treat this as exactly what it is, a legal proceeding. Continued failure to show initiative, progress, and self improvement in these meetings is synonymous to inviting the court and judicial system into your life. Or, in some of our cases," he eyed Tirek, "being unceremoniously flung back into Tartarus."

Discord's volume filter almost failed to catch the sigh escaping Minuette's lips. "I'm sorry, Doctor, am I boring you?"

Minuette lifted her plastic shades and chuckled, finding her ability to make noise had returned, as had her visibility. "No, it's not that. It's just, who would have thought that the infamous Discord relied upon legal loopholes to avoid prison time? At least you're honest, I guess."

"Yes, yes, much like your reliance upon these sessions to make your malpractice claims disappear? Good luck with that, really." Discord gave a wide toothy grin, before tapping his jaw, causing all of his teeth to fall out, then catching them and throwing them back into his mouth, where his teeth reformed perfectly.

Witnessing this, Fleur began to wave her forelegs rapidly, her mouth's movement matching the rhythm of her frantic gestures. With a roll of Discord's eyes, Fleur began to increase in volume, as if she was a piece of audio being manipulated by a crossfader.

"--And another thing! If this plebeian hadn't botched my operation in the first place, I wouldn't be here!" Fleur punctuated the last of her words with a disdainful glare, trained directly on Minuette, who had begun to snarl in return.

Discord held his talon up, squeezing two of his claws together, but not pushing, eyeing each of the bickering ponies with equal measure, making his unclear intentions clear. It didn't take long for them to quiet down.

"I've really had enough of this time wasting, so I'm going to start the session now. If you have any issues with another member present, you'll save it until it's brought up for discussion, which will be when I deem it necessary, capiche?"

Fluer said nothing, but began to wrap her tail around her leg as she eyed Discord petulantly. Sensing his success, Discord pressed on.

With an audiable click, a sound bubble enveloped the small circle, a measure that had been taken to prevent embarrassment since the earliest sessions, and that was still in effect now. Discord held his hand out, and a scroll appeared in his grasp, which he then opened, and read aloud from in a grand and official tone. "I, Discord, hereby call this meeting to order." With that, he rolled up the scroll and it vanished.

Minuette had a face of bewilderment. "That's it?"

"What can I say? I'm not one for long speeches," Discord grinned. "But, on a serious note. This meeting has now officially begun, and the legality of it is in full effect, which means a few things. First of all, any of you are free to leave at any time, there's nothing binding you here. However, if you have been summoned here in an official capacity, please think of the ramifications before leaving." He eyed Fleur, who had begun fidgeting with her bushy tail, kneading it with immaculate forehooves. "You don't want to end up in a dungeon, after all." Discord hissed, a wry grin working its way onto his face.

Fleur ripped a few tail hairs out at this, causing Minuette to laugh once again. "Or, be permanently disbarred from your profession? I really doubt any of us could afford to go back into education right now, what with the recent rise in tuition fees, and all." When Minuette took her eyes off of Fleur to find Discord once again, she was fear stricken, but stone-faced all the same, despite her eyelid twitching when she beheld Discord wearing a graduate's hat, which he threw into the air to reveal a surgeon's cap underneath.

"Discord, could you please stop toying with the equines?" Tirek asked, voice strained.

"Well, I do believe that's the fourth time you've said 'please' this week! I am liking these new manners on you, Tirek, they are so very felicitous! Well, I'd say you're just a regular gentlecolt these days," Discord smiled, the pleasantness of his face offset by the harshness of his eyes.

"I am not any kind of colt, I am a centuar, please do not refer to me as an equine again." Tirek's tone had darkened significantly, but he retained a level of civility whilst speaking.

"Why's that then, buddy? Does it irk you? Do you just so happen to find it a small, teensy weensy bit bothersome when I refer to you as a pony?" A sadistic flash in Discord's eyes betrayed his placid countenance.

"I sometimes wonder if you're the least reformed of us all," Tirek sighed.

"Thank you! My true nature is simply a lot stronger than any of yours' though, so I can't take all of the credit. Do you know how much self restraint its taking not to turn Fleur into a big ol' cougar and have her chase Chrysalis around for a few laps? A lot. Asking me to refrain from enacting chaos is congruent to asking Twilight to stay away from books for a fortnight. But I, our illustrious and benevolent leader, take great pleasure in helping the poor pony folk, so I resist these more primal desires for the benefit of all of you! And, aren't you all so grateful?"

"Our leader, huh mister?" A soft and demure voice barked, a strange contrast. Discord's eyes followed the voice to find a pale, yellow, pink haired pony sitting in one of the seats, her soft blue eyes trained directly on him, her eyebrows knit and a decisive frown upon her face.

"Bah!" Discord yelped, falling off of his seat and landing in a heap of his own limbs, all of them disconnected from each other, before levitating and popping them all back into place. Discord then teleported onto the floor in front of the new arrival, and sat with a look of guilt on his face, meeting her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Fluttershy, I just thought, well, I thought the new attendees could use some tough love, and, seeing as you haven't been here lately... I've been doing my best to fill in for you, I didn't mean to overstep the mark, I'm only doing what I can, I--" Discord suddenly twitched, cutting himself off mid plead.

Discord then picked up Fluttershy by the back of the neck with two of his claws, demonstrating an exceptional amount of strength, before jabbing his claw into the back of her neck with seemingly little force, causing her to spasm slightly, and revealing the form of Queen Chrysalis, who beheld him with amusement and glee in her eyes.

"I was wondering when you would catch on." Chrysalis grinned, attempting to use her magic to rebuff Discord and sit back down, but he didn't move an inch, nor did his grip relent, and the recent chorus of laughter from the rest of the group, save Tirek, seemed to hit a snag before it could fully erupt.

When Discord spoke next, it was a in a low, methodical growl, and he pierced Chrysalis with his gaze as he spoke, causing her to wither. "You are very, very lucky that I am forbidden from using chaos magic right now," his tone shifted into one of almost hysterical anger as he continued. "I haven't seen Fluttershy in nearly a whole month! Do you know how many tea parties we've missed?" Discord's eyes narrowed, tunnel vision obscuring all but the rapidly shrinking changeling queen in his sight. "Quite a few." He answered, each word slower and punchier than the last.

Then, in swift and rapid motions, Discord began dangling Chrysalis above him, brandishing her towards the rest of the group in an overt display of humiliating superiority, as if she were a doll, or some other prop. "This is exactly the kind of behaviour that this group is meant to be coaxing out of you all, but it appears that somepony feels that it's time to regress?"

"Discord, please, I didn't mean to--" Chrysalis stammered, all royal elegance missing from her tone, her face haggard.

Once again the volume slider appeared, this time in Discord's free paw, and he held it up to Chrysalis menacingly. "You know what happens if I tear the switch off? How would you like to be a background pony for the rest of your days? Maybe that would teach you some respect."

"The only one that appears to have regressed is you, Discord. We put trust in you as a counsellor, as you have been alive far longer than any of us, you have been afflicted with the desire to commit evil to a greater capacity than me or the changeling queen could dream of, and you have shown an exceptional amount of progress under our leader's tutelage. For you to display this behaviour when others are relying on you goes directly against Fluttershy's teachings--" Tirek's speech was cut off early by the muzzle being magically forced onto his jaw.

"Silence," Discord sibilated, his teeth ground so close they might have snapped against each other at any moment. "I was the one put in charge of this group, so I will say who has and has not regressed," as he spoke, he rose slightly into the air and his chest began to puff out, the ground beginning to shake, at first softly, and then, with great suddenness, violently. "I am the one who has taken such astounding steps towards redemption, so I will act with the autonomy I have earned. I am the one that Fluttershy trusted to help this group in her stead, and that is what I will do! Help you all to see a brighter tomorrow, even if I must stamp out a few weeds first," Discord's eyes scanned Chrysalis, who gulped heavily.

Then, there was a sudden and sickening snap.

Chrysalis was in her throne, which was still as pink and garish as ever, and, luckily for her, the snap was resonating from Discord's talons, rather than her neck. A quiet sigh, he had relented, as had the shaking of the ground.

As imposing as Discord had appeared as he straightened up, ranting and raging as he had been, his deflation was every bit as comical as you might have expected from the occasionally quite silly, but definitely not evil, reformed Spirit of Chaos.

Although the ground has ceased in its tremors, Fleur had not, and was shaking like a leaf, leaking mascara down her face.

Upon briefly scanning her, Discord settled back in his seat, his face glum and eyes lacking their usual sheen. A hot cup of chocolate complete with marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles materialised in front of each of the other four, and after a cautious but fairly brief inspection, Fleur took hers, opting to cradle it close to her chest rather than drink from it. Meanwhile, Tirek sipped at his, quietly commenting on the flavour and commending Discord's culinary skills, claiming that he adores marshmallows.

Minuette didn't appear particularly perturbed by events previous, and graciously accepted her drink, finishing it quickly and exhaling with a loud 'ahh' when she was done. Through this, Tirek turned to Discord, quietly telling him that he was proud of him for remaining calm and keeping a level head, at which Discord smiled, tickled by the absurdity of the situation, and the relative normality of it for any other group of individuals, by contrast.

Meanwhile, Chrysalis looked over to Fleur, who still appeared shaken, whereas Chrysalis had calmed significantly. With a small smile, she reached over and touched Fleur on the shoulder, who recoiled slightly. "Relax. He gets like this sometimes, we all do. It can be scary at points, but mainly it's just a lot of hot air, Discord would never truly harm us."

Chrysalis seemed to ponder her words a moment. "Irreparably, at least. The point is, he cares for us. Whether that care is just an extension of his affection for our leader or not, I cannot say for certain, but I like to think that he considers us all as his friends, to some degree at least. But, Fluttershy is his oldest and dearest, as young as she is. It was foolish of me to play with his feelings like that. I will apologise to him later, when we have some privacy, but I'm sure he already knows that I'm sorry. Discord knows a lot that he doesn't let on."

Again, Chrysalis stopped to mull over what she had said. "Or, maybe he doesn't realise just how much he knows. Regardless, you are safe here, do not be afraid." With that, Chrysalis took her hand away, and left behind in its place only a small smile on the pony she had touched.

Once Discord's short but unspoken apology, strangely scaled considering the level of his transgression, was over, a clipboard popped into existence. When Minuette raised an eyebrow, Tirek explained, lowering the now warm chocolate that he was still nursing. "Roll call, have to make sure that everyone is attending properly, all part of the procedure."

"There are others meant to be here?" Minuette asked, head tilted and ears perked up.

"Possibly," Tirek grunted, "Celestia's legislation opening this facility to the public has disrupted the usual order of operations, some adjustment is necessary, and implementation of the new register is a part of that."

Discord looked up from his clipboard, lowering his half moon glasses, which weren't the right way up, for the average pony at least. "Okay let's see here... Discord? That's me, erm, present! Yes, okay, so Discord is here, and, Tirek?"

"Here," Tirek sighed.

"Wonderful! Let's see, Berry Punch?"

"Wrong kind of AA meeting," Minuette deadpanned.

"Noted," Discord nodded. "Rainbow Dash?"

"As in the Wonderbolt?" Fleur asked, her voice more steady than she was expecting.

"As in the royal pain in the neck," Discord answered. "This is the second time she's been absent now."

"What did she do?" Minuette asked.

"Oh! You know! General crimes against ponykind: Robbery, embezzlement, fraud, larsony, impersonation of a police officer--"

"Really?" Minuette questioned. "I thought she was one of the Elements of Harmony, how could she be capable of all that?"

"My, you're inquisitive, aren't you? Fine, she owes me twenty bits, that's why."

"That's it?" Minuette snickered, eyes shutting briefly.

"It's been a month! Anyways, she isn't here, so let's move on. Queen Chrysalis?"

"Here," Chrysalis responded, albeit in a meek tone.

"That you are dear," Discord clumsily shrugged. "And then there's Maud," Silence. "Maud Pie?"

"Who's that?" Chrysalis asked.

"Whoever it is, they didn't turn up, evidently," Tirek offered.

"She probably didn't have the stones for it," Discord grinned. When not an inkling of laughter resulted, he pressed on, the hint of a newly formed sulk on his face. "Nevermind. Fleur Dis Lee?"

"Fleur de Lis. Present." The pony in question corrected, earning a laugh from Minuette, which Fleur scowled at.

"Ah, I'll have to correct that. Discord said, making a small cross and correction on his clipboard before turning it around for Fleur to inspect, revealing a detailed sketch of a female draconequus that oddly resembled Princess Luna.

"What significance does that have?" Fleur asked, a hearty laugh escaping her throat.

"Hm?" Puzzled Discord. Upon turning the clipboard back over, he feigned shock, before giving it a tap and showing it again, revealing a neatly organised register, including Fleur's name, which had been crudely drawn over with a small illustration of what appeared to be a food stand, the sign on top reading 'Fleur's Deli', with a small caricature of her smiling in the centre of the piece.

Fleur settled for a simple nod, it was easier to just let him get on with it at this point. Admittedly, the picture wasn't bad, she couldn't help but note.

"Mind if I skip a few?" Discord pondered aloud. "This is taking a while."

"Honestly, we're just happy that this is finally getting done." Tirek mused.

"It has been a while since we were supposed to start, hasn't it? Alright, I'll skip to the end. Minuette Colgate?"

"In the house," Minuette quipped.

"Indubitably so," Discord responded. "Alright, If you haven't guessed already, I'm very tired of formalities, so let's cut to the chase. First of all, progress reports and proposals for future activities, then we'll move on to the new attendees. Tirek, would you like to start us off?"

"Certainly," Tirek smiled, a strange sight, as it appeared so genuine. "Recently, I have been learning to accept equines as a race of gentle, kind, and forgiving creatures. I, personally, cannot compare to them, and their sheer beauty as a race. In this time, I have realised the importance of giving back to these ponies, that have graciously accepted me despite my misdeeds. As such, I propose to do more to help our fellow pony, such as helping to mow their lawns, sit their pets, or wax their carriages. Another minor consideration I have had is one regarding the application of my unique brand of magic in the medical profession, and the lives that could potentially be saved as a result, but, I am also quite happy with pet sitting, for now."

"Bravo!" Discord shouted with an enthusiastic clap, joined by a small patter from Chrysalis. "What a wonderfully eloquent and riveting speech, my lovely red friend. Notes taken: Accept ponies, give back to those that have helped you, make reparations for your misdeeds, mow lawns, and potentially save thousands of lives. Oh yes, and housesitting! Next?"

"I suppose I'll speak," Chrysalis started, allowing some calm back into her voice. "Over the last few months, I've been trying to give myself a greater sense of purpose, besides world domination, of course. Our leader introduced me to Rarity, who in turn got me in touch with a Miss Pommel, who I have been assisting with modelling and design most recently. This work has allowed me to see the beauty in fashion, as well as in myself, and I have considered allowing my physique to evolve to one of more natural beauty, rather than terrible elegance, but this is a large step for me. In closing, I wish to mention my efforts to make peace with the citizens of Canterlot, injecting any love that I may have once taken directly back into their lives, much to my exhaustion. It was a worthwhile experience," Chrysalis concluded, appearing content.
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"Well done, Chrysalis!" Discord cheered, pumping his arm once, before settling back in his chair, displaying a serious visage. "A truly commendable lesson learnt, you have both come a long way. To think, these two once wanted to strip every diverse and unique aspect from all of ponykind! If Chrysalis had her way, she would have squeezed every last ounce of emotion from each of us until we were nothing more than another empty despondent shell, bereft of all love and hope, another part of her collective." Chrysalis winced at Discord's words, shrinking back into her throne. "She has come a long way, but she still wishes to be recognised as royalty, I understand, despite the terrible things she did in her rule. Why else would she cling to that quite frankly silly looking throne?"

"Some things," Chrysalis muttered through bared teeth, "are easier to unlearn than others."

"That they are! But still, you have made progress, and that is what really counts, I suppose." Discord's eyes searched the group. "And, what about Tirek? If he had succeeded in his plans, there never would have been another pegasus in the skies, unicorns would cease to be able to cast spells, earth ponies would no longer be able to tend the fields, it would have been pandemonium! But, there was a change in him. Small at first, but now immense, and we have two creatures to thank, our glorious leader Fluttershy, and the centuar in question. But, he still cannot bear to be seen as just another pony, can you, pal?"

"I am not worthy of that," Tirek replied, bashful, eyes downcast.

Discord smiled. "And you see, the journey goes on and on, there is always room for improvement, another way to better yourself! Now," Discord levitated a microphone above Fleur, who appeared to be listening intently, "Could we get a few words from one of our newest guests? Explain who you are, and why you are here."

Fleur hesitated, before taking the microphone in her magical aura, preparing to speak aloud to the group. "Well, as you know, my name is Fleur de Lis, and I am a model and small business owner, married to Canterlot noble, Fancy Pants."

Discord leaned in, gazing directly at Fleur. "Is that really who you are, dear, or is that your title and reputation speaking? In this setting, we aren't chaos lords or dethroned queens, we are all equals, speak as one."

"I suppose, there is, erm, more to me than that. I am a lover of all fine things, and always wishing to give to others less fortunate, as I have been blessed with much in life, but mostly I aspire to be recognised as a talent, someone that stands out individually, rather than just being known as the wife of a noble." With this, Chrysalis smiled, her earlier scorn apparently forgotten. Minuette, however, appeared unmoved.

"A fair wish, I suppose, but how has it lead you to us?"

Fleur blanched, becoming debatably whiter than before. "It is a personal matter, quite difficult to explain, I'm sure you understand--"

"How about I explain then?" Minuette sneered, prompting a spastic movement from the microphone as it found its new user. "Basically, this rich, important pony came to see me a couple of weeks ago, asking for a rhytidectomy operation, or, as it is commonly known, a nip and tuck. Now, I've performed many types of cosmetic surgery before, for many types of ponies, and I try not to judge my customers, but this one had it coming." As she spoke, Fleur was becoming more and more pale by the second.

"First, she lies about her age on the medical forms, feigning embarrassment when I confronted her on it. Next, she proceeds to make comment after comment about how lucky I am to have such perfect skin, and in my head I'm thinking 'please, I'm fifteen years younger than you', and then, she starts to speak about my upbringing! This 'generous and loving' pony had the nerve to suggest that my healthier skin is owed to me being raised in a poorer district, and that therefore I must have developed stronger collagen!" Minuette paused to let out a small laugh.

"I'm not even going to begin to explain what's wrong with that, but regardless, somehow it didn't occur to Fleur that medical professionals like to stay healthy? I didn't spend five years in medical school learning solely about cosmetic surgery, I know how to keep my face intact too. Anyways, after having to endure that nonsense, I then asked if Fleur was at all familiar with the procedure, to which she said no, it was her first time apparently. Well, that was a crock of lies too. Looks like our regal friend here isn't a stranger to the scalpel!" By now, it was difficult to tell whether Fleur was seething with anger or completely embarrassed, either way she was barely moving, eyes trained on Minuette, face beginning to burn red.

"I have no clue why she would choose to lie about this, considering that I would see the scars upon closer inspection anyway, but she did. Clearly it had been a few years since her last procedure, as she wasn't aware of the act that was passed two years ago forbidding the use of anesthesia during facial surgery, instead only allowing numbing agents for the designated areas of operation. Needless to say, she put up a massive fuss over this, at first demanding anesthesia, then begging, offering me a lot more money than I usually charge, something to the tune of an extra 50%, if she was anesthetised. Now, I'm not some backdoor 'give me a few bits and I'll give you a new liver' surgeon, I take my job seriously, no amount of money was changing my mind, and I told her that. I also told her that I would charge her for the consultation regardless of whether or not she went ahead with the operation, and that seemed to make her mind up."

By this point, Fleur's eyes had narrowed, as if Minuette was a target in her crosshairs. "Fast forward to the operation, and Fleur is squirming like a child, making it extremely difficult to work effectively. Not only that, but she's speaking the entire time, alternating between thinly vieled insults and false pleasantries. After about twenty minutes of her wriggling, I managed to make a small error during an incision, which was also the precise moment she decided to levitate a mirror over to check my progress." Minuette put a hoof against her forehead, as if the memory still gave her a headache. "Naturally, it's a big mess, or at least it would look that way to a customer. Where she saw a load of random cuts, I saw a road map, leading me step by step to the end of the operation. Of course, when she saw the grave look on my face following that small, but easily correctable error, she flipped the heck out."

Now moving to glare back at Fleur, she continued. "This is when she stood up, used her magic to clean the fresh cuts on her skin, wrapped a bandage around her head and left without paying. Naturally, I sent her an invoice, as she had completely wasted my time, but within a few days I received it back along with a letter from a solicitor's agency, telling me that I allowed a pony to walk out of my centre mid operation, still bleeding! These lawyers, headed by none other than Fleur, were going after me and my medical license, and it is all her fault. Naturally, I took up my concerns with the courts, knowing that I couldn't afford to hire a legal team matching hers', and now I'm here. Neat, huh?"

"It was not a small mistake!" Fleur cried, unable to hold back any longer, "And, it was not all as you described it, either! Yes, I may have made some choice and frankly crass comments throughout the procedure, but you made a grave error! The cut around my T line was completely skewiff, and you tried to palm it off as a minor issue! Do you know how many bits the restorative surgery ended up costing me? A lot more than I was previously willing to spend, and I would have been more than happy to tip you for a job well done! While I may not have been the easiest customer, you acted completely unprofessionally, and even allowed me to leave with open incisions! While that might have been a silly and hysterical reaction on my part, you should have at least attempted to convince me to stay."

Minuette tutted at this. "Say what you want, it was your choice to leave, and you made it. Don't try to bring lawyers into my life and take away my practice over a mistake that you made! Maybe you don't understand, because if someone took away your little 'business' you would still have a rich husband to fall back on. Maybe it's because you've had everything fed to you on a silver spoon for your entire life, and never had to deal with the daily grind, but I've had to work hard and struggle to get where I am now. You know how long it takes to be as widely qualified as I am? You don't wanna. So, to have some prissy little braggart try and take all of that away from me, I'm pretty damn miffed, I can't lie."

"You almost ruined my face!" Fleur asserted, volume rising. "Irrespective of your financial and social situation, bad practice is bad practice, and you still attempted to demand money from me, to think that--"

"Like you haven't got any going spare?" Minuette shot back, indignant. "Attention, everyone! This is how the rich stay rich, being tight fisted and besmirching the name of anyone who dares to charge them for something they don't want! Clearly, this generous pony will act in whatever way is advantageous to her, and nevermind anypony else."

"What, so I just give you a hand out for potentially disfiguring service? What kind of imbecile do you take me for?!" Fleur yelled, her frown giving way to a low growl between words.

"You said your other surgeon was able to repair the damage, correct? Who is to say that I wouldn't have managed that just fine, had you stuck around a little longer, instead of storming out halfway through?"

"If it wasn't for your error, this never would have happened! This is my face we're talking about!" Fleur had stood by this point, her form easily diminishing Minuette's stature. "You could have ruined my precious face, which in turn would have completely destroyed my career! You are right, maybe I do not rely upon my career to survive, but what of me? Should I be forced to suffer through boredom and misery for my whole life because I cannot work? My work is my only means of catharsis and I pour everything into it. It keeps me happy, and it keeps my husband happy. Not only did you almost take that away from me, Fancy Pants might not have even looked at me any more, had my face been ruined! Don't you see what your actions could have resulted in?"

"I see a lot of complaint about nothing." Minuette bluntly stated, rising also, although she was barely half of Fleur's size. "The fact of the matter is that this pony wishes to drag me through court and make me lose everything."

"And this is precisely why you two are here," Discord added, his face stern. "If this squabble were to make it to a court of law, one of two things would happen. Either the jury would rule in Fleur's favour, and the fair doctor would likely be banned from practicing medicine, or the court would rule in Minuette's favour, and not only would the case be dismissed, Miss Fleur might even deal with charges of slander and wasting the court's precious time. We are here to avoid that, and see if anything can be done to improve matters. Now, considering what each of you stand to lose, must you really continue with this vendetta?"

Fleur hesitated, looking to Minuette, and then to Discord, who appeared to be displaying a level of compassion, and was making a surprising amount of sense. After a few moments of consideration, she spoke again. "Discord makes a good point. It is regrettable that matters have been taken so far out of hoof, and I do not honestly wish to cost anypony their livelihood, despite the situation. It is... Difficult for me to say this, but I may have been as fault as much as you were, a peaceful resolution would be favourable."

Minuette scoffed, taking a step forwards. "Are you for real right now? This is why I don't like you one bit, you're so heavily set on ruining my career over a mess that you entirely created yourself, and now that you've realised there's a chance of you losing something from this, you want to back down? You have no spine, and you clearly can't think for yourself either. What if Discord hadn't piped up just then, reminding you that you're also at risk? You would have pressed on with full intentions of crushing me. You're fickle, and a coward, and I'm now confident that a jury would see that. So go ahead, take me to court, I'm done here."

As Minuette turned and made to leave, she wasn't ready for the sight she beheld. A barren reprisentation of the field she had previously sat in, land torn up, cracks and fissures in the ground, trees ripped from their roots and broken, desolate structures in the distance that was once Ponyville, a few seconds previous. Minuette turned, horrified, to see a giant rampaging centuar, much like Tirek, shooting a destructive beam onto the land before him, leaving nothing but death in his wake. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping it to be a dream or hallucination, and at the count of three reopened them to find her group sitting through the midst of all this destruction, although only Fleur seemed similarly affected, as she had opted to curl into a ball. Still, the sound bubble remained, and she clearly heard Discord's voice as he chose to speak again.

"This is what would have happened in a world where our friend, Lord Tirek, had never learnt the value of kindness. Without his newfound gentle nature, Tirek would have torn the world asunder, nothing and no one would have survived. Still, all it took was one spark, an extension of generosity, and all of this was averted."

"It's true what he says," Tirek confirmed. "Once, I would have gladly slaughtered and enslaved all of Equestria, I would have loved every second of it too. But I was approached after being re-imprisoned, by one of the mares that sent me there, no less. At this time, I was incredibly angry, but also intrigued. I had stolen all of the magic in Equestria, yet these friends were able to use their bond to defeat me. Well, I subsequently realised that the bond those six mares share is indeed very special, and not something I could replicate, but the feelings were something I might have, something better than imprisonment at least. I have been betrayed before, and in turn betrayed others," He eyed Discord as he spoke, his eyes soft.

"But through all of that, I could not betray her trust, once she had fully opened up to me. After roughly thirty visits, she assured me that if I were to attempt to find peace and better myself, she would work to absolve me of my sins, and allow me to live a truly happy life, away from the allure of power. Of course, this did not do much to abate my craving for strength, but my new shackles prevented me. These shackles were proverbial, as I was detained no more. Fluttershy made it clear that she was willing to trust me, and did not keep me under surveillance at all times, on the condition that I was honest with her."

"And, honest I was, but even when I told her of my desire to crush those that had taken my power away from me, I couldn't include her, who had promised to never raise a hand against me again, even in self defense. It was with this realisation that my love for Ponykind began to grow. The sheer strength and fortitude that this race displays when working together was enough to inspire a change in my way of thinking. No longer did I aspire to rule Equestria, I wished to be a part of it. I wished to be one of you all, and so I put aside all foolish notions of strength and glory. Thoughts of violence and revenge no longer keep me up at night. Instead, I play card games with Princess Twilight, I tell stories of my youth to Miss Cherilee's pupils, I help Fluttershy attend to her pets. I am happy now, as I wish I always could have been, but I know that I never would have fully appreciated it if it hadn't taken so long to find my happiness."

Minuette felt strangely affected by Tirek's speech, although she couldn't understand how, or why exactly. In the midst of processing this feeling, she blinked, this time finding an entirely different scenario as soon as she focused her gaze.

Ponyville resembled a fortress. Large, dull sheets of metal were affixed to buildings, a wall had been erected around a portion of the town, and guard posts complete with ballistae sat on the outskirts. To the distance, a swarm of blue eyed insect-like creatures approached.

"They have already taken Canterlot," Discord gestured to the large army closing in on the town. "Twilight's Castle of Friendship is their next stop, surely there's plenty of love to feast upon there? It didn't just take love to stop Chrysalis, it took love to change her, and prevent her from coming back again, stronger than last time."

"I've never had any one else treat me as a pony before." Chrysalis alluded. "When I was dethroned, I ran, but she found me regardless. She did not stand on ceremony with me, nor did she cower in fear when I threatened her, I think she realised the threats were empty. I was too depressed at the time to really do anything, no matter what I may have desired. I think the thing I respect the most wasn't her bravery, it was her refusal to take pity on me, coupled with her desire to see me improve myself all the same. When I asked her if she did this to secure a better future for Equestria, she told me it was so, but that in some pony's eyes, me being gone forever would have the same effect, but she didn't want that," As Chrysalis spoke, a small smile worked its way onto her face, and the war torn scene gradually began to fade away.

"She said that she wanted me to see what a life outside of war and scheming was like, one where you didn't have to force and cajole affection out of another, but received it willingly, and without manipulation. I felt as if I was being sold a dream, and only realised her honesty when I felt myself being strengthened by her presence. It was this strength of spirit that I needed to capture her, and resume my conquest of Equestria with the Element of Kindness as my bargaining chip, but still, I hesitated. How had this pony grown so close to me that she had given me strength, after all she had seen me do, and all she knew of me? I realised that I couldn't bring myself to take advantage of this pony's forgiving nature, and simultaneously concluded that I would do better to take the opportunities she has given me than to squander them in the interest of achieving my most selfish goals. Those goals dissipated eventually, and I found myself making a friend in Rarity, who shares my love of fashion, and then Miss Pommel, who I have grown quite fond of."

A flash, and many scenes appeared in front of the sitting ponies. A large table, seating Twilight, Rainbow, Pinkie and Tirek. "Snap!" Tirek called out, laying out his cards on the table.

"Silly centuar, this is blackjack! No one says 'snap' here, unless they're saying 'aw, snap, I've gotta pick up two! Silly centuar!'" Pinkie repeated, and everyone at the table laughed, Tirek included. In the present, the Tirek that sat in the group also laughed, and mouthed the words 'silly centuar' to himself, as if they pleased him.

The scene faded, and Chrysalis was in the carousel boutique, swapping stories with Rarity as she moved around her with a tape measure, both of them laughing with joy and sincerity. "Ah, I remember this," the present Chrysalis grinned. "I was telling Rarity about the time that I was required to wear a long royal gown for a reception, and the back of it became caught in one of the holes in my hind hoof, causing me to trip and fall flat on my face. Needless to say, the tailor was sacked."

Minuette and Fleur both found themselves smiling at Chrysalis's anecdote, briefly eyeing one another, smile-clad all the while, before adopting their more familiar frowns once again.

Another look into the past, and the group found Tirek sat with Cherilee's class, telling the tale of Averious with much dramatic effect. Averious was a pheonix, he explained, who had always developed late in life, not learning to fly until he was close to his rebirth, always forgetting what he had learnt the moment he began in life again. This was until he met another pheonix who was older and wiser than he, who took Averious on as his mentor. Eventually, Averious had learnt to fly so well that he soared from his own ashes during his next rebirth, astounding all that beheld it and earning his place in mythological legend to this day. Throughout the entire tale, a small orange pegasus had remained on the edge of her seat, excitedly listening to the trails of Averious, and becoming elated at the conclusion, her wings buzzing along with her continuous assertion of how 'awesome' the ending was.

Minuette couldn't believe it. She had come to accept that these creatures were no longer evil, and that they seemed to regret their past behaviours, but to see the joy that a being once hellbent on destroying Equestria could bring to a foal was enough to challenge even her cynical perception. What she also couldn't believe was the fact that her smile didn't recede when she looked towards Fleur, and neither did hers. When they had shared a short, comfortable silence together, not at eachother's throats for the first time that day, Discord spoke up.

"There is a moral to be learnt here. With the right amount of kindness, anyone, no matter how evil or otherwise detestable, can be turned around eventually. With forgiveness, even the most angry and unhinged of us may eventually see reason, and realise that there are better things to fight for than revenge, such as the betterment of ourselves and the beautiful world surrounding. With generosity, we empower others to give in return, and to feel that they have contributed something to the world they live in, be it big or small, and we find ourselves able to help others in some way. With each other, we have solidarity. Despite the powers that we all had, this country was able to stand against us, with nothing but their own bravery, faith, conviction, and friendship. They believed in each other, and they supported each other, and that is why they are still here today, and for everything we attempted to break their spirit, we still lost."

"Why would any of us wish to go against that and reap more disharmony, when all it does is detriment our fellow pony, as well as our own eternal souls? It is our responsibility to fight to convert those who wish to tarnish this nation, and even those whose small transgressions could disrupt their own lives, as well the lives of those close to them. It is important to show them the gravity of their actions, and the truth that deep down, whether you are as powerful as a chaos lord or a simple farmer, our opinions all carry the same weight, and we are all equal in regards to morality. Yes, we may all occasionally relapse, no one is quite perfect, after all, but it is that devotion to continue despite setbacks that makes you proud to have achieved something, as you have persevered."

With this, Minuette turned to study Fleur one last time, before speaking again, her newfound grin refusing to budge. "You were right earlier, this has got completely out of hand, and I'm sorry for any part I might have played in it. I will happily wipe any outstanding charges, I don't want a single bit from you."

Fleur stood once again, moving towards Minuette. "I will be retracting my statement, and contacting the solicitors to inform them that their service is not necessary. I'll also pay the invoice in full, it is the least I can do after putting you through such an ordeal. This was extremely silly on my part and I feel I should take a vast majority of the blame for it, please."

Minuette's eyes narrowed but her grin remained. "Nonono, I don't want any of your money, this is my fault, I could have potentially ruined your face after all!"

"You probably could have fixed it just as easily if I hadn't ran off, or been such a difficult patient! Please, for all the trouble that I've put you through." Fleur patiently responded, her face still placid.

Minuette's smile was beginning to wear off. "I can't have that. You have already paid for another surgeon, plus whatever the lawyers will be charging you, I can't have you paying my fee on top, it's just not ethical."

"I absolutely insist. I implore you to take the money, as a down payment for your future services at least, should I need anything."

Minuette's smile returned with haste. "You'd be willing to give me another chance?"

"Undoubtedly, if you'll have me under your table again." Fleur took another step forwards and extended a forehoof. "Do we have a deal?"

"Of course!" Minuette beamed, spiritedly shaking her hoof before fogetting formality and embracing her, causing Fleur to smile and briefly return the gesture, rosy cheeked.

Discord levitated into the air, garnering everyone's attention. "Are we all set for the same time, same place next week, then? Hopefully, you two will still be in as high spirits by then. So everyone knows, the aim of the game this week is promotion, so if you know anypony that would benefit from attending one of these meetings, let them know! We aim to make everypony a better pony, one step at a time."

After a brief series of nods, Tirek leaned in towards Discord. "You handled those two rather well, Discord, well done, Fluttershy was right to put her trust in you."

"Oh, I was just reading off of my script." Discord pulled out a sheet of paper (from seemingly nowhere) that appeared to document each of the group's interactions throughout the day to the letter, including all of the words each member had spoken, as well as their individual reactions, upto and including this sentence. "I like to keep a mental record of everything that transpires in these meetings, it might be useful to share these experiences later, could help to inspire someone."

"That's... Not such a bad idea, actually. It's impressive how you can list all of these happenings on the fly, though. Anyways, what's next?"

"What's next indeed... Think either of these mares have ever been to Sugarcube Corner?"

"I'd highly doubt that, Ponyville doesn't get an exceptional amount of tourism."

"You always find such a logical way to put these things, don't you?" Discord sighed. "Anyways, you think maybe we should go there and 'shake things up' a bit? Group bonding and all, might be good for Minuette and Fleur."

"That could be nice, actually. Hey, Chrysalis, you feel like going to Sugarcube Corner?"

"Only a small cupcake for me, please, I'm watching my calorie intake. I've got dreams of the catwalk one day, you know?" Chrysalis smirked.

"Let me know when those dreams come true, and I'll stop tempting you to indulge yourself," Discord winked.

Fleur and Minuette quickly agreed to join the veteran antagonists, and off they went to sugarcube corner, bickering and laughing all the while, from playful comment to insult to heartfelt expression, their bond was already beginning to cement, a bond stemmed by that group, that would eventually succeed in uniting a vast majority of Equestria under the banners of friendship, acceptance and hope.

Somewhere in Canterlot's royal palace, Celestia was receiving a hoof massage, silently commending her success in diverting any minor squabbles away from her courtrooms, and directly towards Discord. She briefly considered giving him a raise, before realising that he could quite possibly materialise bits from thin air.