A Sun for Muffins

by Scarheart

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Pinkie Pie, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2767

Celestia loses control of her sun. Only one pony is capable of finding it!

Derpy Hooves is your typical mailmare. She has a good job, has a nice house, and is a loving mother. Just don't keep her from her daughter.

However, when there's a real crisis, Celestia turns to our favorite gray pegasus with her wonderful golden eyes to save the world! Derpy has the best weapon at her disposal for just such a crisis!

This story is a thank-you for Cross Lament.

Image source.

Published 2017-04-15 06:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-15 06:00:01 UTC

She knows how this ends.

Unedited

Derpy fidgeted her wings against her sides. She was nervous, having been summoned to Canterlot by none other than Princess Celestia herself! The day had been dark, as the sun had not risen at its usual time. Sunrise had happened, but then something else made the sun bounce away.

Yes, bounce.

Derpy, being an early riser thanks to her job as a mailmare, had seen the sun rise, jerk in the sky just as it crested the horizon, fall, wink out on impact and bounce off like some great ball. Then, it flared one last time, unseen over the curvature of the planet, and went dark. It was rumored Princess Celestia uttered a very loud and very inappropriate word of discouragement. Still, neither wind nor sleet nor hail nor missing sun would keep the mailmare at bay, so she went about her day and did her job.

Then, came the summons. How the letter came to her hooves was anypony’s guess, but Derpy had a premonition when she touched it. Her eyes, as googley and unfocused as they might seem, were a gift. With her eyes, if circumstances were correct and the muffins were still fresh, Derpy could see possible futures. She could, if she so chose, alter things. It was thanks in large part to her, Twilight and her friends could succeed and focus on the Magic of Friendship.

Ponies like Derpy did the thankless job of making sure such opportunities were available to have lessons from which other ponies could discover and learn from. She wanted no thanks and no accolades, oh, no! Derpy used her magic when she felt it would benefit others. At the end of the day, her only desire was to go home to her filly and be a good mother.

Derpy Hooves was not a very demanding mare.

Her gray pelt was brushed, her straw colored mane was as neat and presentable as possible, but given the too short amount of time, Derpy felt frumpy. Fluffing her wings, she examined them one more time as she waited to be let into the throne room. A nervous whinney escaped her lips, but she was a good mare and thought of Dinky as she stared up at the doors.

Still, given her gift, she knew why she had been summoned. Anxiety toyed with her and she shuffled her hooves and flicked her tail. The doors opened and she was ushered in.

Trotting forward, Derpy feigned confidence, for she knew what was to be asked of her. She knew what she would face and she knew the solution. The bubbles on her flank that was her Cutie Mark were there for a reason.

“Derpy Hooves,” Princess Celestia greeted her with a serene smile, her mane of morning lights flowing on the aether winds. Her coat was perfect in its alabaster pearlescence. Sitting tall and regal upon her throne, she lifted a hoof of gilded gold. “I am so glad you have come. Equestria is in need of your services.”

“I know,” Derpy said with a smile. “I have seen what may come. My eyes have witnessed what may come to pass. I am here to serve, my Princess.”

Nodding, Celestia’s smile faded and she became serious. “My sun, dear Derpy, has slipped from my grasp. I tried to raise it, as you saw this morning, but it slipped. I know not how it slipped, but it fell and I cannot grasp it. I know not where it went, for my sun has gone out. I need you, Derpy Hooves, to find my sun and light it so I might feel it. Once I can feel it, I can raise it and put it back into the sky.”

“I serve Equestria!” Derpy announced as she bowed. “I do have one question, if you don’t mind me asking.” She blinked and tilted her head to one side.

“Ask, my little pony,” Celestia bade with a smile.

“How did you lose your grip on the sun? Isn’t it kinda big to just lose like that? Haven’t you been doing this for a really long time? Something like this just isn’t you!” Derpy flicked an ear, not sure if her ruler would give her an answer.

Celestia sighed, perhaps appeared a little embarrassed. “Well,” she began, rubbing a hoof behind her head. It was uncharacteristic of her and not very royal. “I was half asleep when I went to raise the sun and was having my coffee. I tripped over the corner of a rug and spilled it all over my coat. Since I like my coffee piping hot, I scalded myself and my grasp on the sun slipped and it fell. It winked out when it hit the horizon. I’ve been trying desperately to get it to light up so I can control it, but it has been impossible.”

Derpy stared at the image of pony perfection, working her jaw like a landed fish before shaking herself from the shock. “Why can’t you go find it yourself?” she asked Celestia, blinking.

“I am bound to Equestria and cannot go beyond her borders,” confessed the alicorn. “Because of my duties to the sun, in exchange I am bound to my nation in a very literal sense.”

Derpy gave her ruler the stinkeye. “You sure didn’t seem to mind visiting the Badlands after Chrysalis was defeated.”

“That was a body double. You know I have several of those anywhere in Equestria at any given time,” explained Celestia. She snorted, flaring her nostrils. “I’d love to go and get my sun myself, but I simply cannot. Luna is also restricted and Discord is on probation.”

“What about Twilight?”

“She’s working on Starlight Glimmer’s graduation.”

“What about the former elements?”

“They’re just civilians. I can’t put mere civilians in harm’s way, even if they’re national heroes.”

“What about Shining Armor?”

“He’s on paternity leave.”

“Princess Cadence?”

Celestia gave her a flat stare. “Really?”

Giving a little sigh of defeat, Derpy nodded and looked her diarch in the eye. “Fine. I’ll do it. Which way do I go?”

“To the Kaiju Lands.”

“Of course it would be the Kaiju Lands,” Derpy sighed, flicking an ear in annoyance. “I’ll go turn your sun on, my Princess, don’t you worry.”

Celestia smiled at her subject. “Thank you, my little pony! I’ll reward you for returning my sun to me!”

Derpy shook her head. “No, I don’t need a reward. I just want to go home to my daughter.” Once more she bowed and departed from the presence of the princess.

There was work to be done.

The train ride to Vanhoover was uneventful. There were worried ponies, griffons, minotaurs and the occasional goat who stared up into the starry sky and endless night. Luna had plastered over the face of her moon, ‘Fear not, for we art with thee our faithful subjects’.

This brought panic from other independent nations, but that was not important right now.

Derpy had her mission, a picture of her daughter, her saddlebags, and her secret weapon to deal with the kaiju no doubt hoarding Celestia’s sun. Once she got to the city, she went to the city’s docks and purchased a ticket on a steamer heading for Neighpon. The journey took two weeks. During that time, there was pandamonium as the sun never rose. Not once. Never on any of those days did it ever peak above the horizon.

The pegasus mare could have explained things to the panicked passengers, or to anyone who would listen, but few, if any did.

So, after a couple days of futile explaining, she gave up and instead focused on her mission.

Once she arrived in Neighpon, she departed the city and continued west, using her wings. The Kaiju Lands were not far now and the night air was very favorable. The winds pushed her along and Derpy was unopposed. First of all, she was too small to be noticed and secondly, it was hard for anything to see in the dark.

It was not difficult to spot the sun. According to her watch, it was a little after six in the morning (with time zones taken into consideration) when she did happen across it. There was a very large…very, very large kaiju standing over it. He was charcoal gray with three rows of spines running up and down his back. His great front arms were on the sun and he was rocking it back and forth. His long tail swished behind him and he seemed worried.

Derpy had to get right into his face to be noticed. “Excuse me!” she cried out, hovering above his nostrils. “Excuse me, Mr. Monster?”

“My name is Gojira,” said the kaiju, blinking as he tried to focus on the little gray pegasus in front of his snout. “Who are you?”

“My name is Derpy. Derpy Hooves. It’s very nice to meet you!” she chirped, smiling her best smile. “I’ve come a long way to find Princess Celestia’s sun,” she went on, pointing a hoof and the very dark ball at Gojira’s feet. “She would very much like to have it back.”

“It landed in my yard,” retorted Gojira, narrowing his eyes. “It is my property now. It’s obvious Celestia didn’t want it anymore. Why else would she throw it away?”

“But she didn’t throw it away,” Derpy explained with diplomatic patience. This wasn’t her first rodeo. “She had a bad morning and it slipped from her grasp. Won’t you please give it back?”

“No,” rumbled the great kaiju.

Derpy had to think fast. Of course, she had already seen what might happen. Her Cutie Mark was more than just a bunch of bubbles on her flanks! “Maybe we can cut a deal?” she offered, maintaining her adorable smile. Unleashing its fullest potential, she wasted no time in letting Gojira feel the full brunt of her adorableness.

The grumpy giant monster harrumphed. “Fine. What sort of deal did you have in mind?”

Hope filled the little pegasus’ heart. Looking into the massive eyes of Gojira, she took in a deep breath and brought forth her proposal. “Do you like muffins?” Derpy asked with a shy smile.

“What kind of muffins?” Gojira asked, holding back his interest. He did a very poor job of it as his massive tail thumped against the ground. Quite a number of trees feel beneath the endless mashing of meaty tail upon the earth.

Derpy looked to her left, then to her right, making sure nopony was listening in. Lifting a hoof to her mouth, she hissed in a conspiratorial voice, “Blueberry!”

Gojira smiled, but it soon faded. “But you are so little and I am so big. How can you make a blueberry muffin large enough for me?”

Derpy gave him a broad grin that went from ear to ear. “Oh, don’t you worry about that, Mr. Gojira!” she called out, “I know a certain pony! Give me one moment!” She reached into her saddlebag and dug around for a bit, her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth. Her eyes rolled about in their sockets and her right ear kept flicking.

“Hiya!” Pinkie Pie emerged from the saddlebag, hugging Derpy’s hoof as she was pulled out. “I understand you have a muffin emergency, Derpy!”

Derpy nodded. “Yes! I need a five hundred ton blueberry muffin as soon as possible. It’s for him!” She pointed her free hoof at a very confused Gojira.

“Where did she come from?” he asked, pointing a claw at the pink earth pony dangling from Derpy’s hoof.

“Hi!” greeted Pinkie Pie, grinning at the kaiju. “My name is Pinkie Pie and you’re a super-duper big monster, aren’t you? I’ve never seen a monster as big and impressive as you! I’ll bet you work out!”

“I do fight a lot,” Gojira admitted, twiddling his thumbs. “Sparring, mostly. We kaiju don’t have a lot to do, so we just fight each other to keep in shape.”

Pinkie blinked at him, then gasped. Her smile exploded across her pink face and her blue eyes twinkled in anticipation. “I would love to meet them. Maybe we can throw a party?”

Derpy was also smiling. Her plan, so far, was working. “A muffin party for you and your friends in exchange for Princess Celestia’s sun. What do you say, Mr. Gojira?”

“It’s a deal!” roared many voices from the hills and valleys surrounding Gojira’s territory. All sorts of kaiju heads pop up here and there, all of them hopeful at the idea of doing something other than fight.

Gojira sighed, looking around at the other kaiju, scratching the side of his neck. “Well,” he grumped, “I guess we can have a party, so long as everything gets cleaned up at the end.”

The kaiju cheered, causing a small earthquake. They stomped their feet, which made the earth shake even worse. Of course, this didn’t bother Derpy because she was a pegasus. Pinkie Pie didn’t care because she was Pinkie Pie.

“So,” Derpy called out after the commotion had died down. “We have a deal?” She stuck out a hoof, and almost dropped Pinkie.

Gojira caught the earth pony with one claw and extended a massive claw out to bump the gray mare’s hoof. “We have a deal. You can have the sun back.”

“Thanks!” Derpy cheered, heading for the inert sun. She knew what needed to be done. “Um, you might not want to stare at the sun,” she warned, looking over her shoulder. “When Celestia takes it back, it’s going to get really, really bright!”

One of the kaiju snorted. “You haven’t seen Gojira’s breath, have you?”

The other kaiju laughed.

“Hey, Derpy!” Pinkie called down from Gojira’s claws. “How are you going to get the sun started?”

Derpy shrugged and hollered back, “The thing’s got a reset button! I just need to find it and press it! Princess Celestia will be able to take it from there!”

“Oh! Okay! I’m gonna put my sunglasses on now!”

Satisfied nopony was going to go blind any time soon, Derpy sought out and found a small panel hidden on the massive cold globe. Tapping it with a hoof in a sequence Celestia had shown her, it popped open, revealing a massive red button. It was bigger than her head. An even bigger instruction manual fell out and tumbled to the ground far below. Derpy ignored it and hit the button as hard as she could. The sun flared to life, rumbling as something deep inside it whirred, then roared to life. A dull glow throbbed, then flared into a growing light, causing Derpy to turn her head away. She squeezed her eyes as tight as she could and felt the heat emanating from the great sphere.

She felt something was off, but Celestia’s magic took hold of the sun and lifted it high into the sky. It bumped into Luna’s moon, making a huge booming sound that resonated throughout the sky. The sky brightened as this happened and the moon rolled over and sank beneath the horizon.

Derpy and Pinkie were on the train back to Canterlot from Vanhoover. The sun was high in the sky outside and calm had settled over the land. There were a lot of newspaper articles and editorials trying to explain why there had been no sun for over four weeks. There were also a few inquiries as to why the sun was spinning and glittering from sunrise to sunset. Speculation ran wild, but Canterlot had gone dark when it came to information as to why the world was now a dance floor.

The two were exhausted, but happy. Pinkie and Derpy leaned into each other, two friends who felt they had done a great job. Keeping from being smashed by dancing giant monsters was a harrowing task, especially when serving hors d'oeuvres.

Pinkie Pie was always the best secret weapon, Derpy thought as she smiled at her friend. Still, getting the job done meant the most important thing in her life would have a lot more happy days in the near future. She pulled out a picture of her daughter. Dinky’s birthday was coming up soon.

And the sun was now a massive disco ball partying through the sky. Derpy did not care. The sun was back where it needed to be. Celestia had not been specific and nopony, and that meant nopony took Derpy away from her sweet little daughter without retaliation.

Besides, she had seen what was going to happen beforehand.

The End