Glitter Shell Volume.1. : Coming Out Of Her Shell.by Undyne DevotionChaptersThe End? / Socks.One Bright Morning.When This Life Is Over.Reflection.Direction.ExpectationsRealizationsThe End? / Socks.I was shivering all over my body, hooves unable to stand straight as each step seemed more wobbly than the last. The eyes of the classroom burned wickedly into my soul, the fillies whispering to each other and the colts looking upon me in disgust. My usual mint green mane was always messy. Yet for today it was brushed neatly into a sort of bob style a cute flower headband holding it in place. My orange coat was brushed and cleaned to a bright shimmer. My tail was also a bit more bouncy than normal today, everypony was used to seeing me so lanky and messy. That seeing me so fixed up might have broken their minds. I stood in front of the class in silence. My heartbeat growing louder and louder , that I was sure it would explode out of my chest at any moment. “Class this is Glitter Shell.” Cheerilee smiled warmly down to me as she placed a calming hoof atop my shoulder. My heart started to slow down a bit, her warm and caring eyes slowly putting me at ease. I was glad I had such a wonderful teacher like her in my life. “Why is Snails acting like a filly?” Scootaloo asked in a curious manner as her slender hoof was raised high in the air. “You mean acting like a Freak!” Snips huffed aloud with a small snort, his eyes filled with slight anger. “Snips!” Cheerilee snapped in annoyance to the small colt. “That’s Snails!? I thought he was a new filly Glitter Shell!” Silver Spoon squinted towards me in close study, tilting her glasses cutely up her muzzle. “Class settle down!” “Wha? Who has a snail with a glittering shell?” Button Mash asked in confusion as his focus was finally pulled away from his Game Colt portable console. “I think she looks prettier than a golden apple before dawn.” Apple Bloom flashed a sweet and understanding smile towards me from the back. Soon the whole class was starting to yell aloud, each with a point of view. Some were positive as others were very mean. Cheerilee did her best to settle down the crowd on her hooves, but the yelling just got louder and louder. Eyes of the class burning into my heart. I could feel the world starting to tilt around me as my balance was shifting. I wanted to fall and close my eyes, praying to Celestia that when I woke this would all be over. It was a mistake to come here and do this… No. It wasn’t a mistake at all. I’ve never felt normal ever, my life has just been a series of odd mistakes. Each slowly dragging me deeper and deeper into my own personal prison. My hooves gained posture. I stood up straight and poised. My heart slowed down to a calm beat. I took a deep breath and allowed a smile to cross my lips. Eyes gazed to the class, making eye contact with those I would speak to. I would not fear. Not anymore. The chains that held me. Would never do so again. “Freak!” “Leave her alone!” “He is a ugly filly.” “What a loser.” “Why Snails?” “I think he should be what he was born as.” “I think we all have a choice.” “He is just a weirdo causing a scene.” The class was on the brink of breaking out into a riot, I knew what I had to do. I cleared my voice aloud, the class gazing to me in confusion. “I know you might think of me as nothing at all, my life has been the feeling of being so small.” My voice softly picked up into a calming melodic tune. “But please before you think to judge me, let me tell you a story.” The whole class slowly faded into silence, all eyes locked on me. “All about how I came upon this day…” Three Months Earlier. “Ever think about how your life could’ve been?” I sighed aloud in deep thought, my eyes locked on the purple colored sky above as the sun began to fade away in the distance. “Nah! I have wondered though if clouds taste like whip cream.” Snips my best friend for all my life spoke up. We both were rolled on our backs in the park. Star gazing and chatting about anything that really came to mind. From life and school to well clouds. “I think a cloud is an aerosol comprising a visible mass of minute liquid droplets, frozen crystals, or particles suspended in the atmosphere above the surface of a planetary body.” I slowly replied in a hushed tone. “I’d still eat one.” Snips simply shrugged off my reply. I couldn’t help but chuckle with my friend as we watched the stars slowly fill up the sky. Snips rolling onto his side with a small grunt, his eyes looking to me in curiosity. “So what do you mean “could’ve” been?” His eyes narrowing slightly. “Oh! Have you like ever felt out of place?” “All the time buddy!” “Really?” I rolled onto my side as well his words catching my attention. “Yeah. This one time I thought I was on the road to school, but ended up I was on the road towards The Everfree.” My heart slowly sank into my chest as my ears slowly began to droop. I allowed a small grunt to escape my lips as I returned to my backside. “Yeah! Bet you really felt out of place then…” I shrugged softly as my green bangs fell over my eyes a bit. “Yup! C’mon dude if we hurry I bet we can catch like an hour at the arcade!” Snips almost seemed to do a front flip to his hooves. Shaking off the grass from his coat swiftly. “Go on ahead. I think I’ll just stay here for a little longer.” “Whatever! I owe Button a flank kicking in Pony Kombat.” Snips started to walk off yelling out fighting phrases under his breath. I stayed there under the night sky with my own thoughts. At the time I knew I’d never tell Snips or anypony for that matter the truth. That I felt more than out of place in the world. Sure at school I wasn’t the best at numbers or anything else really. I was far from being popular, I was the pony in the background that never stood out. My hobbies of reading would just further shoot me down as a loser. I couldn’t even draw all that well, besides snails. But it wasn’t that I felt like an outsider. It was more than that, I felt like I was wearing mismatched socks. The world would smile and be happy if I wore orange socks, it was normal and accepted. But deep down inside I’d rather be wearing purple socks, sure they were more colorful and bright. But for a pony like me to be wearing them would be weird. They would stare at my socks and whisper. They would yell at me to strip them off, to NEVER wear them again. So I hide the socks in my closet away from prying eyes, wearing them only when I’m alone. Those rare times just alone with my socks, those would be the happiest times of my life. But I would later cry, knowing I’d have to wear orange once more tomorrow. To be normal. To fit in. As I said, I felt out of place in the world. I was just not ready for how quickly things would change. And my purple socks would make a statement. Louder than I ever could. One Bright Morning.My days start like all the others. In odd silence. What do I mean by that? Well I just find that your mom never waking you up for school is odd. My eyes darted around the neat and tidy room slowly, I pounced off the bed and stretched as I trotted over to my small hazy mirror. My scrawny self gazed back to me in a confused manner, as if staring back to a stranger. I loved my mirror being smeared, for if I squinted long enough I sometimes would get a glimpse of somepony else. Snapping back into my reality though, I rushed out of my room and downstairs. The scent of wine hitting me like a train, a large half drunken bottle of Sparkle-Berry still upon the counter. If I closed my eyes, I swear I could still hear the laughing and clinging of glasses from the night before. Lime green eyes fell upon the side of the kitchen door as I walk in, no suitcase. Which meant dad never came back home last night, I can't blame him. I wanted a small bowl of oats before I took off, yet the sink was overflowing with dirty dishes at this point. Taking a slow breath, I silenced my grumbling belly and jolted out the back door. I was used to starting my day on a empty stomach, main reason I think Im so lanky anyways. Up town I slowly passed by ponies going about their own day, being pushed to the side every so often by rude ponies with attitudes. I guess this is what life is after school, hay even before school its all the same. We each just travel our own paths, never giving attention to those around us. It is our story and one we alone will write, nopony able to choose our choices for us. But if that is true? Then why do I allow others to make my choices? Should I just yank the quill back into my hooves? Re-write my character how I see fit? Before I could answer any of my questions, I found myself off track and deep into the town. Instead of towards the school. Great my belly is empty and Im going to be late today. I sighed aloud this day was just getting better and better. I began to walk forward, to get back on track. Then I saw it! Through the open front door of a boutique. Sparkling in the bright sunlit room proudly, covered in lace and frills perfectly. The most beautiful dress I had ever seen in my life, it wasnt more a mare either, it was for fillies. My body trembled softly as my head did an odd cocking motion to see if anypony was inside. The place looked empty , the wind mustve blown open the door. My mind told me to walk away, but my heart told me to go forward and check it out. Snapping my head side to side swiftly to make sure nopony was around, I pounced quickly through the open door of the boutique. It was like a whole new world in here, I allowed a soft gasp to escape my lips in awe. Cute dresses lined the wall, adorable hats placed perfectly upon shelves. Even lacy saddles were behind the counter, Ive heard my mother tell her friends they were for bedroom fun. Everything here was so elegant and bright. My eyes falling to the center of the room to the white pony mannequin wearing my dress, I just had to give it one touch. I walked over on wobbly hooves to the small mannequin, pressing my hoof on the fabric softly and smiling happily. It was real, not just a dream. Then I heard loud snoring, my eyes growing wide in true horror. The pony mannequin was alive!? Looking closer it wasnt fake at all, it was a small white filly encased in the dress. A unicorn I knew well, Sweetie Belle! "Mmmmm. Can I go now?" She smacked her lips softly in a mild haze, her eyes quickly falling to me with my hoof on her backside. "Ahhhh!" "Ahhhhhh!" "What are you doing here snails!?" She snapped in anger as her chest puffed out gently. "I...umm..whaa?" "Grrrr! Are you and Snips planning something!? You're shoplifting for fun!" "No!...I..." "Phst! I get it, you two were snapping photos of me in this get up to have a chuckle? Har-har-har-ha..." I quickly shot a hoof over her muzzle to silence her, my heart racing wildly in my chest. "I wasn't here." I spoke in a trembling voice before jolting out the door wildly. "If I wasn't afraid I'd become a Pony Pin-Cushion! I'd so chase after you weirdo!" I could hear Sweetie yell after me as I rushed off to school. My lungs were on fire as I collapsed into the cold dirt of the ground, only a few hundred feet away from school. My mind was in shock as my body was becoming numb. Sweetie was truly mad at him now, it was a matter of time before she came for him here. Spreading the news he was inside a boutique, once they find out there was no prank played. Then they would start to talk, they would ask questions. He would have no defense to hide behind. I did it now. I ruined myself over something dumb, I shouldve just put my feelings behind me like I always did. Better to feel numb, than attacked by those you love. I could hear the school bell ringing in the distance. My joints all locked up as I crawled through the dirt. Curling up slowly under a large oak tree, my whole frame shaking. The sun was out shining brightly, yet I could feel nothing but the cold chill of a unfair world. Why did I have to be born this way? I just want to be normal. To look in a mirror and not see a stranger. Curled up, I did all I could do. I cried. When This Life Is Over.I watched the clouds float by in silence. The sounds of nature around me calm and serene, a soft caress of wind brushing against my cheek giving some relief. My back was against a wall and I had no idea what my next move should be, the clock was counting down to the end of my world. And all I could do was watch. “Gotcha!” Sweetie suddenly came into view above me, her eyes burning brightly like embers. “Sweet…” I yelped in shock as the small filly pounced atop me roughly, her hooves smacking and digging into my backside. “Give me the shots! Gimmie!” She was like a wild beast jumping up and down on my body as the world around went spinning. In a blur of swipes, I could feel myself being for lack of a better word thrashed. I did my best to crawl out from under her attack and fall face first into a puddle of mud. “Had enough joker?” Sweetie panted softly in place behind me, worn out just as much as me by the fight. “I. I took no photos…” I mumbled in a series of pants. “What?” She wobbled over and plopping down at my side. “I took no pictures!” “So if you weren’t playing a prank. Why were you in my sisters shop?” She narrowed those icy hues towards me in annoyance. “Why were you sleeping in a fancy dress?” I replied sarcastically. “Because I got duped into helping my sister fit a dress dummy!” Her hoof softly punched me in my side as I groaned aloud. “I was just checking the place out…” “Phst. Why?” “I don’t know.” “You seemed kind of out of it.” “I just was looking!” I sighed aloud as I got back to my hooves, shaking the dirt off of my coat I flashed Sweetie a stern stare. She sat up cutely and plopped down on her plot in deep thought. “Well as long as you weren’t about to make fun of me. I guess it’s ok.” She giggled sweetly as she stood up and stretched in place. “You’re not going to tell anypony I was there?” I raised a brow slowly to the small filly who trotted over to my side. “Why would I?” She giggled and sweetly booped my muzzle with her hoof. I watched in shock and silence as the filly just happily walked down the path towards school. I didn’t know what to think at the time, I just felt safe that she wasn’t in the mood to ruin my life. School is a mixed bag of sorts for me. Sometimes I enjoy being around the other kids and at others I just want to be left alone. I’m not a fan of the work that Ms. Cheerilee gives out, most of the time it is oral work and I hate standing in front of the class, to mumble through a paper I wrote. But if I had to be honest. I did love one thing about being here, more than anything in all of Equestria. I was able to sit behind a colt I really thought was cool, well more than that, he was dreamy. His name was Rumble and he had to be the most wonderful colt in the whole class. He had a sense of humor and was really nice, he’d stood up for me like four times. He also loved danger, he was the pony who could do anything without fear. Something I just found so awesome, nothing I could ever do. But as I had my eyes on him, he had eyes on another pony. Somepony who matched his level, plus she was lucky enough to be born a filly. Scootaloo. She was… Perfect for him. Who was I kidding? I had no chance in hay of ever getting somepony like him to notice me in the way I did him. I was just trapped in my own personal prison, living the life of somepony else. Never getting to live my own life. “Ok class! Tonight we are doing a special essay!” Cheerilee smiled happily out across the class. “Snails.” Sweetie whispered out across from me in her seat, gently hiding her muzzle behind her hoof. “We will be interviewing each other as a way of getting to know more about your fellow ponies!” “Psssssssssssssss.” Sweetie almost hissed like a snake at me as I cast her a glare in anger. “I will be placing each of you in groups of two.” “What?” I mouthed to her in silence as I shrugged my shoulders. “You will then take two weeks of getting to know each other and write about your thoughts on each other.” “D ou ant o e a irl?’ Sweetie asked in a half whisper, her small brows raised. “Huh?” I mouthed back in silence confused. “I want you both to ask each other twenty questions and answer them.” “Do you want to be a girl?” Sweetie whispered back in interest. My heart almost exploded out of my chest in surprise as my desk scooted back loudly in horror. My cheeks were suddenly on fire as my body became like jelly. “SWEETIE BELLE!” I screamed out in utter shock as the whole class turned to face me confused. “Well ok then Snails. You and Sweetie may be a team.”Cheerilee scrunched her muzzle a bit before continuing onward. I slowly gazed over to the face of Sweetie gazing back at me in silence, my whole frame trembling in fear as she simply nodded. Turning away from me she placed her attention back on the class. How did she know? Did I do something? If she pieced it together. Did anypony else? I sunk into my seat slowly, the class fading away from view as my desk grew ever higher. I prayed I could just fade away, become a pony of dust and grain floating away over the horizon. To become like everything else in my life. And vanish. Reflection.How did she know about my secret? Did I have a tell? Did I give myself away somehow? My mind was racing with possible answers to this horrid predicament, pacing back and forth in front of the school awaiting Sweetie to appear outside so I could question her. My hooves were like jelly now, my mane flattened out by stress, I felt as if I were melting away into a puddle of goo. “Dude! What gives!?” My friend Snips pounced down the steps of the school in a obvious huff, his eyes burning into me like a wildfire on the loose in a small town. “Not now, Snips!” “Yes now! We are buddies, yet you chose that dumb filly as a partner!?” His hoof pushed my shoulder hard as I stumbled back. “I didn’t mean too…” “If you want to be a dumb filly, then do so! Just don’t leave me hanging dude…” “I DON’T WANT TO BE A FILLY!” I screamed aloud in horror as I found myself rolling onto my backside nearly paralyzed. “Dude it’s a joke relax.” Snips rolled his eyes in mild confusion, as I slowly rolled back onto my hooves with nervous laughter. “Hahaha! I knew that...I did.” I spoke in a serious tone of voice, eyes becoming still and never blinking. “Right. Next team up though, we need to…” I could see Sweetie walking down the steps in the distance, giggling cutely with her filly friends Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. I had to confront her before it would be too late, dashing away from Snips I darted over to the girls. “Get together…” Snips just gave a deep sigh, I barely picked up before running off. Sweetie softly locked her eyes with me as I skid across the grass over to her, Apple Bloom scrunching her muzzle up towards me a bit caught off guard. Scootaloo never speaking a word, yet her eyes were burning a hole through my soul. “You know Snails, I wanted Sweetie as my partner.” Scootaloo gave me an eye roll. “Scoots!” Sweetie flashed a mild glare to her friend. “What!? I’m stuck with Button Mash now!” Scootaloo gave a loud groan into the sky. “I didn’t mean too.” “Whatever, I’m surrounded by dorks.” Scootaloo gave a grumble walking off past me, making sure to nudge me hard on the side. “I think it’s cool we are meeting new ponies!” Bloom gave a sweet reply, Sweetie just giggling along. “Mmmhmm. You say that because you got Rumble?” Sweetie flaunted a slender hoof her way, Bloom just smirking and shrugging in place. “Maybe. But you have to agree he is pretty cool.” Bloom flashed a smile happily, waving bye to her friend and I before cantering off with a skip in her step. I found it so interesting how fillies could just open up about anything, have fun giggling and talking about all types of things with no fear. I was struck in awe as a soft nudge on my side broke me back into reality, Sweetie flashing me a cute smile. “Did you enjoy, your first taste of girl talk?” She gave a small smirk as I could feel my cheeks burn a bright pink. “I didn’t even say anything!” “Heehee! You could’ve jumped in at anytime.” “...” “The girls would’ve not cared, to be honest they would probably think it’s cool.” I just turned around in shame, gazing down to my hooves trembling with fear. The whole world was shattering before my eyes, I could do nothing except watch as my world came crashing down. My lips quivering in place Sweetie placed a small hoof on my shoulder, I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks wildly as I began to sob. “Please don’t tell anypony!” I clutched to the filly who gasped in surprise, slowly embracing me into a small hug the world around us falling silent. Sweetie’s place within the Carousel Boutique was wonderful her private room to hang out in was the epitome of femininity, one I could only dream of having one day all to myself. I sat upon her silken bedsheets in silence, my magic clutching a small spoon that was digging deeply into a large tub of Cherry ice cream. “You like the ice cream?” Sweetie gave a smile as she lifted a spoon up herself, floating it across the room in a lackadaisy fashion. “Mmm, it helps.” “My sister has a whole deep freezer full of the stuff, she claims it’s for her off days or when she needs a good cry.” The filly gave a soft giggle chomping down on the spoon happily. “Thank you for inviting me here.” I gave a deep sigh, she had been really nice to let me spend some time in her room away from the anxiety of the world. “”No problem! Just so I’m clear, do you want to be a filly?” Sweetie dropped the bomb swiftly atop my head, much like a rock to the skull it shook me to my core. “Yes.” I gave a flat monotone reply, tired of just hiding away my feelings as if I were made of stone. “Huh?” She batted those long dark lashes, I was half expecting her to laugh at me. “You don’t think it’s weird?” “Nope! I think whatever would make you happy, is something you should strive for.” “That sounds pretty nice Sweetie.” I could feel a small smile slowly creep across my muzzle. “How long have you felt like this?” She tilted her head to the side, sprawling out on a large velvet pillow before me in awe. “Um, as long as I can remember to be honest. I feel like I’m living in a shadow of my own life, as if I don't match with my inside.” “But wouldn’t that be like…” “A horror movie?, yeah. I wake up everyday just wishing to feel normal, yet everyday I feel more and more broken.” I slowly lifted a spoon of cherry to my lips, gently taking a bite from the melting cream. Sweetie merely folded her ears back in silence, I watched as she got up and walked off to her huge double door closet behind her. Never saying a word as silence filled the room around us, I gave a deep groan within, I just knew I probably bummed her out. “I should really just go…” I began to trip over my words before Sweetie spun around, holding a pile of various cosmetics in her hooves happily. “Awww, but I thought maybe I could help you, match your outside with the inside.” She gave a soft giggle and rushed over, dumping the many items of makeup at my hooves. My heart started to race wildly in my chest as I gazed deeply into her eyes, was this really happening? Did somepony really want to help me, or could this all be a trick? “You, want to help me?” I spoke in a cracking tone of voice. “Well sure! I love giving makeovers, though my two friends are totally not into it.” Sweetie lifted a large brush into the air with her magic, gently stroking it across my mane as she began to style it cutely. “Uhhh, yes! I mean yes please.” I almost jumped out of my skin, the brush gently grooming out the tangles from my mane slowly. I could barely hold back my growing glee, Sweetie lifting a small bottle of spray into the air as it gently spritzed my mane. The sweet scent of strawberries filling the air, I gazed across the room into a large mirror as she began to work. For a split second I could see somepony familiar in the reflection, somepony who I could not see in a long time. I could see myself. Direction.My eyes were closed so tightly as Sweetie made the finishing touches to my mane, her hooves primping my bangs gently as she did a small tease. Her hooves lifting away from my head, the warm gentle glow of her magic fading away. “Done! Very cute, if I say so!” The filly gave a flaunt of the hoof towards me as my green hues shot wide open in shock. The reflection gazing back to me was amazing, my once flat and tangled mane gone. Replaced by a cute bob style I never knew was possible, my bangs showered over my eyes in a bouncy way while my mane had now added volume. “This is amazing! How?” I spoke in a trembling voice, my hoof lifting upward to my bob almost afraid to even touch it. “It’s quite easy, I can show you how to do it yourself.” Sweetie gave a small giggle from behind me, lifting up a pair of butterfly earrings to my ears to see what they’d look like. “That would be lovely…” “Heehee! You would be amazed how a few simple feminine touches, could really just make your style pop!” Sweetie was having a great time as she placed the earrings down, using her magic to lift up some lime green eyeshadow. “Me pop?” I gave a loud snort as my new friend giggled. “Well yeah! You have what my sister calls a congenial style.” Sweetie gave a cute squee, just as her bedroom door swung open swiftly. “Are my ears burning darling?” Miss Rarity cantered inside with an elegant smile across her muzzle, various fabrics floating within magic behind her. I wanted to collapse in pure horror as her bright blue eyes locked onto me with interest, my body quivering in fear as I never broke eye contact to blink. My jaw left hanging in the air, as my heart drummed within my chest loudly. “Oh! I thought Bloom or perhaps Scootaloo, was up here with you dear?” Rarity narrowed her eyes to me, I quickly gazed down shyly blushing a bright pink. “Hehehe! No this is my new friend...Shell…” “Glitter!” I gave a soft cough, trying to lift my voice as high as it could stretch. “Glitter Shell!” Sweetie gave a nervous giggle, before pale blue magic plucked the eyeshadow from her grasp. “Well! I’ve seen some dandys in my time, but this takes the cake!” Rarity gave a loud scoff that filled the room sternly, I could see myself being dragged down the street now shamed by the entire town. “It’s my...” I began to speak up before Rarity floated a violet eyeshadow down from a nearby vanity, tossing it to Sweetie playfully. “Green on green eyes is just asking for trouble dear, now violet will make those lovely hues just explode in color!” Rarity gave a soft giggle while placing the fabrics atop a large shelf in the corner. “Well I am still learning!” Sweetie stuck her tongue out towards her sister, the mare just flashing a sly smirk in return. “I’d love to stay and share my knowledge girls, but I fear I have work that needs to be done.” Rarity flashed a smile down to me in pleasant manner. “Your mane is fabulous, by the by.” The mare soon cantered out of the room, leaving me in complete shock as I felt lighter than air. “You passed!” Sweetie spoke far too smug for her own good. “I think I’m going to be sick!” I could feel my color fade from my cheeks, the emptiness in my belly turning into knots as I slung to my feet in fear. “What!? You will be fine.” “No! That was too close, I need air...I can’t breathe!” I could feel my anxiety form a noose around my neck, the air quickly being sucked out of my lungs. “Glitter, you need to calm down girl!” Sweetie tried to calm my nerves, yet I could just start to heave in place before pushing her aside and darting downstairs. The world was spinning out of control as I exploded out the door and into the open world, the streets thankfully empty as storm clouds begun to form overhead. Droplets of rain hitting my mane as I darted down the street, Sweetie following close behind me as I did my best to lose her. I cut through the park at top speeds, the rain showering down upon my mane and coat roughly. The once graceful beauty I felt, replaced by an ugly flat mane that draped close to my shoulders. I needed to fade away, I needed to start this day over. Yet I could feel my hooves splash down into a muddy puddle in front of me, losing my grip on the world as I came crashing down across the mud before me. Feeling so dirty and out of place, I simply flopped onto my backside in defeat gazing up to the sky while rain poured upon me swiftly. Sweetie skid to a stop at my side, a look of worry locked upon her face in a eerie silence. My green hues gazing high above the clouds, doing so made me feel as if I were floating perhaps out of this prison I called life. My heart slowing down to a calming beat, laying in the ice cold mud was quite relaxing, allowing my mind to drift to other thoughts. “Is my happiness worth anything?” “Hmm?” Sweetie spoke up with a raised brow. “I mean if I came out, I would shame my family, my friends at school and even the town.” “But you’d be happy…” “Yeah, but I’m just me. One pony vs the many.” “You want to just keep hiding away?” “It would be for the best…” “But you should at least try! If you merely hide away, you are wasting the joy that is missing in your life.” “I can’t ok! The ponies…” “Glitter! It’s not the town or your parents holding you back, it’s your fear!” “Just leave me alone!” I slung out of the mud glaring to Sweetie who folded her ears back in a hurt fashion. “Fine I’ll leave you alone, go on living your life in the shadows. I just thought we could be friends, that perhaps you had a soul bright enough to fly free…” Sweetie gave a soft sigh, turning her tail to me and walking off into the pouring rain. Vanishing from view and from my life, I was alone again just as I wanted. The rain caressing my coat like an old friend, my world full of fear and the unknown replaced by a sense of sorrow. “Why must I feel this way?” I gave a glance to the sky, eyes stinging as tears rolled down my cheeks. “Why can’t I be normal! Why must I suffer!” I gave a loud scream out to the sky, thunder exploding around me as it drowned out my pleas. “I don’t matter...I...just...don’t” I could feel my heart sink in my chest deeply, I dragged my hooves across the muddy ground heading home. Back to the shadows I knew best. Defeated I entered the abyss of my own home, everything was a pitch black inside as I made quick work to light some candles. The stench of wine wafting across the kitchen, the loud echo of fighting still heavy on the air. Mom and Dad were gone as always, I had nopony to comfort or calm me. Not that either of them could do so, they were more broken than me, each hanging on by a thread that had began to shatter over the years. No snacks set up upon the table, a quick glimpse of the shelves showed a barren wasteland high above. My world had slowed to a balance now, no longer spinning yet each step felt like a million pounds. I slowly guided myself through the darkness with ease, used to the warm embrace by now while making my way to my room. Inside all was silent, the world was far away now. My hooves were still as a piece of wood, I wanted something to give me a sense of being alive. I trudged over to my window and flung it open, sticking my head outside towards my backyard. Below was a decent drop down, nothing that would hurt me alone. But as if hearing my call, a few shattered wine bottles were scattered across the grass in a razor sharp glow. Dad must’ve tried to throw out Mother’s stash, the glass shards hanging upward in the dim light. If I could land just right, I could end this lonely facade once and for all. I could feel my heart picking up pace once more, lifting up hooves gently off the ground. All would think it was an accident, none would have to blame anypony and I would not have to be al… My gaze flashed to my side swiftly, my small mirror gleaming in the darkness. I slowly lowered myself down and trotted over, my eyes locking onto the pair of butterfly earrings hanging from my ears as they gleamed in the dim light softly. “Clip ons…” Sweetie had given these to me, without a second thought. She shared secrets and dreams with me, she opened up her heart with understanding and hope. She didn’t have a motive or a secret trick up her sleeve, she wanted to simply be my… Friend. I gave a loud groan aloud unclipping the butterflies and holding them tightly in my hooves, walking over to my bed I curled up into a small ball and began to sob. I was more frightened than ever now, not that I was alone, not that I had no friends or so I thought. It was because I wanted to live now, I wanted to break out of my prison. I knew I wanted to be… Glitter Shell. ExpectationsMy head throbbed as if I had gotten struck by a lightning bolt. Eyes on fire from a long night of crying, which I suppose was healthy. Getting it out of my system had me feeling much better. Even if I didn't look the part at the current moment. Rolling out of bed I hit the floor with a deflated thud. My legs were complete noodles right now as if each hoof had been replaced by a bag of sand. Shuffling out of my room and towards the bathroom, I let my mind race with solutions to fix the mess created between Sweetie Belle and me. With an unenthusiastic slump against the bathroom sink, I turned on the cold water. Collecting an icy puddle in my hooves before splashing my face. My worn reflection gazing to me in a long eerie silence, water dripping off the muzzle of somepony I barely knew. Celestia give me strength. My hope is dwindling but my faith is strong. “If it isn't my little babe.” Mother sat at the kitchen table in a chipper attitude. Her strawberry mane flowing nearly to the floor in messy tangles. Her coat a frazzled but clean pink tint, teal eyes locking onto me as if I were being studied. Sometimes I wondered if she truly knew anything about me? “Mother.” I shuffled to the shelves for some oats. Of course, an empty space greeted me. Just because she was here, didn't mean she did anything productive. “Mother! That's all I ever hear from your snippy little attitude!” She flaunted a hoof towards me with an eye roll. Her horn lit up brightly as she floated a half-drunk wine bottle towards her in feminine teal-colored magic. Hooves snatching it out of the air swiftly before she popped the cork out expertly. She was preparing breakfast alright, just not for me. “Is there anything to eat?” I swallowed my pride, asking her the question politely as I could. “Mm-hmm.” She slid the bottle across the table with a mocking smile. “Mom!?” I bit my lower lip hard in anger. “Come take just a sip babe, bet you'll love it!” She slumped over the table with a loud giggle. “I just want some oats…” I replied in a whisper. “Then get a job, eh?” Mother floated the bottle back to her grasp. I wanted to scream but instead stayed silent. Anger would never solve anything. Crying would only cause more heartache. I was trapped in a nightmare, none could see. A nightmare created just for me. Turning around I made a quick gallop towards the door. The sun outside welcoming and warm, beckoning me to start anew with hope of something better. Stepping outside, I knew what needed to be done. Uptown was extremely crowded. Ponies dashing off in various directions, busy with personal chores or errands of pleasure. I enjoyed watching the many different stories of ponies unravel amongst the crowds, it was my personal little soap opera. Squeezing between two rather plump mares, I searched the area for any sign of Sweetie. I needed to apologize for acting like a complete ass. She was my friend, one I needed to try and keep close. Not everyday a filly friend comes along, not for myself anyway. “Word is, you've been in the boutique?” Button Mash suddenly smacked my shoulder extra roughly. I felt myself yelp out in surprise. That and nearly toppling over onto the ground, my mane puffing out into a complete mess. I hated being snuck up on, yet somehow everypony was a master at doing so. “What!?” I arched my brow with a slight snort. “The Carousel Boutique?” Button rolled his chocolate-colored eyes unamused. “Not in the mood.” I shook my head in place trying to push ahead. “So you were inside!” He pounced in front of me with a goofy smirk over his lips. “I never said that.” “You didn't have too, I can read you like a book!” A brown hoof poked my chest hard as I huffed a bit annoyed. Was I really that easy to decipher? “Ok, so what if I was!?” I plopped down on my flank in defeat. “You player!” Button chuckled. “Player!?” I felt my muzzle scrunch. “Yeah, I mean the girls rarely talk to anypony beyond their group!” Button wrapped his hoof around my shoulder giving a firm squeeze. “But here you are! A loser and able to grab their attention!” He shook my body slightly in excitement. “Geez, thanks.” My lips pursed into a frown at his comments. “Think you can be a pal!? Maybe introduce me to Sweetie Belle!?” He tagged along behind me as I started to walk off towards the distance. “What!? I mean…” I stammered nervously. “Doesn't have to be Sweetie, could be Apple Bloom.” Button shrugged his lanky shoulders. “Button, I don't think I could.” I collected my nerves and spoke in a stern voice. “There's three of them! No need to be greedy!” Button grunted with dissatisfaction. “But Sweetie is my friend, nothing more! I just wouldn't feel comfortable, dumping you off on her.” My voice trailed off slightly. Button stomped both hooves on the ground in a slight tantrum. His mane becoming untamed as it frazzled out much like mine. Those light chocolate eyes narrowing towards me in a sarcastic manner, his muzzle scrunched in anger. “What's that supposed to mean!?” He scoffed. “If you want to hang out, just ask her!” I let my head tilt to the side slightly. “Phst, yeah right!” Button gently pushed past, bumping his shoulder with mine hard. “She's surprisingly easy to…” I tried to reply to my defense. “Enjoy hanging out with your new friend! If you guys play dress-up, send me a postcard!” Button was soon halfway down the street his attitude overflowing with sarcasm. I could feel my cheeks burning a bright red. Why did hanging out with all my colt friends, constantly revolve around proving myself? We couldn't just sit and talk. It had to be a competition of some sort all the time, or I had to act more like a stranger and put up a faux personality. I just wanted to toss away all the mannerisms expected of me, start over and become a pony I felt comfortable as. Somepony who loved to dress up. Yet still could kick flank on games. A pony that could giggle at nothing with her filly friends. But also just pull pranks with some of the guys. I didn't want to be one of the girls. Or part of the boy's club. I honestly, just want to be me. Author's Note Planning multiple updates for this very soon. RealizationsSomething has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
The End? / Socks.I was shivering all over my body, hooves unable to stand straight as each step seemed more wobbly than the last. The eyes of the classroom burned wickedly into my soul, the fillies whispering to each other and the colts looking upon me in disgust. My usual mint green mane was always messy. Yet for today it was brushed neatly into a sort of bob style a cute flower headband holding it in place. My orange coat was brushed and cleaned to a bright shimmer. My tail was also a bit more bouncy than normal today, everypony was used to seeing me so lanky and messy. That seeing me so fixed up might have broken their minds. I stood in front of the class in silence. My heartbeat growing louder and louder , that I was sure it would explode out of my chest at any moment. “Class this is Glitter Shell.” Cheerilee smiled warmly down to me as she placed a calming hoof atop my shoulder. My heart started to slow down a bit, her warm and caring eyes slowly putting me at ease. I was glad I had such a wonderful teacher like her in my life. “Why is Snails acting like a filly?” Scootaloo asked in a curious manner as her slender hoof was raised high in the air. “You mean acting like a Freak!” Snips huffed aloud with a small snort, his eyes filled with slight anger. “Snips!” Cheerilee snapped in annoyance to the small colt. “That’s Snails!? I thought he was a new filly Glitter Shell!” Silver Spoon squinted towards me in close study, tilting her glasses cutely up her muzzle. “Class settle down!” “Wha? Who has a snail with a glittering shell?” Button Mash asked in confusion as his focus was finally pulled away from his Game Colt portable console. “I think she looks prettier than a golden apple before dawn.” Apple Bloom flashed a sweet and understanding smile towards me from the back. Soon the whole class was starting to yell aloud, each with a point of view. Some were positive as others were very mean. Cheerilee did her best to settle down the crowd on her hooves, but the yelling just got louder and louder. Eyes of the class burning into my heart. I could feel the world starting to tilt around me as my balance was shifting. I wanted to fall and close my eyes, praying to Celestia that when I woke this would all be over. It was a mistake to come here and do this… No. It wasn’t a mistake at all. I’ve never felt normal ever, my life has just been a series of odd mistakes. Each slowly dragging me deeper and deeper into my own personal prison. My hooves gained posture. I stood up straight and poised. My heart slowed down to a calm beat. I took a deep breath and allowed a smile to cross my lips. Eyes gazed to the class, making eye contact with those I would speak to. I would not fear. Not anymore. The chains that held me. Would never do so again. “Freak!” “Leave her alone!” “He is a ugly filly.” “What a loser.” “Why Snails?” “I think he should be what he was born as.” “I think we all have a choice.” “He is just a weirdo causing a scene.” The class was on the brink of breaking out into a riot, I knew what I had to do. I cleared my voice aloud, the class gazing to me in confusion. “I know you might think of me as nothing at all, my life has been the feeling of being so small.” My voice softly picked up into a calming melodic tune. “But please before you think to judge me, let me tell you a story.” The whole class slowly faded into silence, all eyes locked on me. “All about how I came upon this day…” Three Months Earlier. “Ever think about how your life could’ve been?” I sighed aloud in deep thought, my eyes locked on the purple colored sky above as the sun began to fade away in the distance. “Nah! I have wondered though if clouds taste like whip cream.” Snips my best friend for all my life spoke up. We both were rolled on our backs in the park. Star gazing and chatting about anything that really came to mind. From life and school to well clouds. “I think a cloud is an aerosol comprising a visible mass of minute liquid droplets, frozen crystals, or particles suspended in the atmosphere above the surface of a planetary body.” I slowly replied in a hushed tone. “I’d still eat one.” Snips simply shrugged off my reply. I couldn’t help but chuckle with my friend as we watched the stars slowly fill up the sky. Snips rolling onto his side with a small grunt, his eyes looking to me in curiosity. “So what do you mean “could’ve” been?” His eyes narrowing slightly. “Oh! Have you like ever felt out of place?” “All the time buddy!” “Really?” I rolled onto my side as well his words catching my attention. “Yeah. This one time I thought I was on the road to school, but ended up I was on the road towards The Everfree.” My heart slowly sank into my chest as my ears slowly began to droop. I allowed a small grunt to escape my lips as I returned to my backside. “Yeah! Bet you really felt out of place then…” I shrugged softly as my green bangs fell over my eyes a bit. “Yup! C’mon dude if we hurry I bet we can catch like an hour at the arcade!” Snips almost seemed to do a front flip to his hooves. Shaking off the grass from his coat swiftly. “Go on ahead. I think I’ll just stay here for a little longer.” “Whatever! I owe Button a flank kicking in Pony Kombat.” Snips started to walk off yelling out fighting phrases under his breath. I stayed there under the night sky with my own thoughts. At the time I knew I’d never tell Snips or anypony for that matter the truth. That I felt more than out of place in the world. Sure at school I wasn’t the best at numbers or anything else really. I was far from being popular, I was the pony in the background that never stood out. My hobbies of reading would just further shoot me down as a loser. I couldn’t even draw all that well, besides snails. But it wasn’t that I felt like an outsider. It was more than that, I felt like I was wearing mismatched socks. The world would smile and be happy if I wore orange socks, it was normal and accepted. But deep down inside I’d rather be wearing purple socks, sure they were more colorful and bright. But for a pony like me to be wearing them would be weird. They would stare at my socks and whisper. They would yell at me to strip them off, to NEVER wear them again. So I hide the socks in my closet away from prying eyes, wearing them only when I’m alone. Those rare times just alone with my socks, those would be the happiest times of my life. But I would later cry, knowing I’d have to wear orange once more tomorrow. To be normal. To fit in. As I said, I felt out of place in the world. I was just not ready for how quickly things would change. And my purple socks would make a statement. Louder than I ever could.
One Bright Morning.My days start like all the others. In odd silence. What do I mean by that? Well I just find that your mom never waking you up for school is odd. My eyes darted around the neat and tidy room slowly, I pounced off the bed and stretched as I trotted over to my small hazy mirror. My scrawny self gazed back to me in a confused manner, as if staring back to a stranger. I loved my mirror being smeared, for if I squinted long enough I sometimes would get a glimpse of somepony else. Snapping back into my reality though, I rushed out of my room and downstairs. The scent of wine hitting me like a train, a large half drunken bottle of Sparkle-Berry still upon the counter. If I closed my eyes, I swear I could still hear the laughing and clinging of glasses from the night before. Lime green eyes fell upon the side of the kitchen door as I walk in, no suitcase. Which meant dad never came back home last night, I can't blame him. I wanted a small bowl of oats before I took off, yet the sink was overflowing with dirty dishes at this point. Taking a slow breath, I silenced my grumbling belly and jolted out the back door. I was used to starting my day on a empty stomach, main reason I think Im so lanky anyways. Up town I slowly passed by ponies going about their own day, being pushed to the side every so often by rude ponies with attitudes. I guess this is what life is after school, hay even before school its all the same. We each just travel our own paths, never giving attention to those around us. It is our story and one we alone will write, nopony able to choose our choices for us. But if that is true? Then why do I allow others to make my choices? Should I just yank the quill back into my hooves? Re-write my character how I see fit? Before I could answer any of my questions, I found myself off track and deep into the town. Instead of towards the school. Great my belly is empty and Im going to be late today. I sighed aloud this day was just getting better and better. I began to walk forward, to get back on track. Then I saw it! Through the open front door of a boutique. Sparkling in the bright sunlit room proudly, covered in lace and frills perfectly. The most beautiful dress I had ever seen in my life, it wasnt more a mare either, it was for fillies. My body trembled softly as my head did an odd cocking motion to see if anypony was inside. The place looked empty , the wind mustve blown open the door. My mind told me to walk away, but my heart told me to go forward and check it out. Snapping my head side to side swiftly to make sure nopony was around, I pounced quickly through the open door of the boutique. It was like a whole new world in here, I allowed a soft gasp to escape my lips in awe. Cute dresses lined the wall, adorable hats placed perfectly upon shelves. Even lacy saddles were behind the counter, Ive heard my mother tell her friends they were for bedroom fun. Everything here was so elegant and bright. My eyes falling to the center of the room to the white pony mannequin wearing my dress, I just had to give it one touch. I walked over on wobbly hooves to the small mannequin, pressing my hoof on the fabric softly and smiling happily. It was real, not just a dream. Then I heard loud snoring, my eyes growing wide in true horror. The pony mannequin was alive!? Looking closer it wasnt fake at all, it was a small white filly encased in the dress. A unicorn I knew well, Sweetie Belle! "Mmmmm. Can I go now?" She smacked her lips softly in a mild haze, her eyes quickly falling to me with my hoof on her backside. "Ahhhh!" "Ahhhhhh!" "What are you doing here snails!?" She snapped in anger as her chest puffed out gently. "I...umm..whaa?" "Grrrr! Are you and Snips planning something!? You're shoplifting for fun!" "No!...I..." "Phst! I get it, you two were snapping photos of me in this get up to have a chuckle? Har-har-har-ha..." I quickly shot a hoof over her muzzle to silence her, my heart racing wildly in my chest. "I wasn't here." I spoke in a trembling voice before jolting out the door wildly. "If I wasn't afraid I'd become a Pony Pin-Cushion! I'd so chase after you weirdo!" I could hear Sweetie yell after me as I rushed off to school. My lungs were on fire as I collapsed into the cold dirt of the ground, only a few hundred feet away from school. My mind was in shock as my body was becoming numb. Sweetie was truly mad at him now, it was a matter of time before she came for him here. Spreading the news he was inside a boutique, once they find out there was no prank played. Then they would start to talk, they would ask questions. He would have no defense to hide behind. I did it now. I ruined myself over something dumb, I shouldve just put my feelings behind me like I always did. Better to feel numb, than attacked by those you love. I could hear the school bell ringing in the distance. My joints all locked up as I crawled through the dirt. Curling up slowly under a large oak tree, my whole frame shaking. The sun was out shining brightly, yet I could feel nothing but the cold chill of a unfair world. Why did I have to be born this way? I just want to be normal. To look in a mirror and not see a stranger. Curled up, I did all I could do. I cried.
When This Life Is Over.I watched the clouds float by in silence. The sounds of nature around me calm and serene, a soft caress of wind brushing against my cheek giving some relief. My back was against a wall and I had no idea what my next move should be, the clock was counting down to the end of my world. And all I could do was watch. “Gotcha!” Sweetie suddenly came into view above me, her eyes burning brightly like embers. “Sweet…” I yelped in shock as the small filly pounced atop me roughly, her hooves smacking and digging into my backside. “Give me the shots! Gimmie!” She was like a wild beast jumping up and down on my body as the world around went spinning. In a blur of swipes, I could feel myself being for lack of a better word thrashed. I did my best to crawl out from under her attack and fall face first into a puddle of mud. “Had enough joker?” Sweetie panted softly in place behind me, worn out just as much as me by the fight. “I. I took no photos…” I mumbled in a series of pants. “What?” She wobbled over and plopping down at my side. “I took no pictures!” “So if you weren’t playing a prank. Why were you in my sisters shop?” She narrowed those icy hues towards me in annoyance. “Why were you sleeping in a fancy dress?” I replied sarcastically. “Because I got duped into helping my sister fit a dress dummy!” Her hoof softly punched me in my side as I groaned aloud. “I was just checking the place out…” “Phst. Why?” “I don’t know.” “You seemed kind of out of it.” “I just was looking!” I sighed aloud as I got back to my hooves, shaking the dirt off of my coat I flashed Sweetie a stern stare. She sat up cutely and plopped down on her plot in deep thought. “Well as long as you weren’t about to make fun of me. I guess it’s ok.” She giggled sweetly as she stood up and stretched in place. “You’re not going to tell anypony I was there?” I raised a brow slowly to the small filly who trotted over to my side. “Why would I?” She giggled and sweetly booped my muzzle with her hoof. I watched in shock and silence as the filly just happily walked down the path towards school. I didn’t know what to think at the time, I just felt safe that she wasn’t in the mood to ruin my life. School is a mixed bag of sorts for me. Sometimes I enjoy being around the other kids and at others I just want to be left alone. I’m not a fan of the work that Ms. Cheerilee gives out, most of the time it is oral work and I hate standing in front of the class, to mumble through a paper I wrote. But if I had to be honest. I did love one thing about being here, more than anything in all of Equestria. I was able to sit behind a colt I really thought was cool, well more than that, he was dreamy. His name was Rumble and he had to be the most wonderful colt in the whole class. He had a sense of humor and was really nice, he’d stood up for me like four times. He also loved danger, he was the pony who could do anything without fear. Something I just found so awesome, nothing I could ever do. But as I had my eyes on him, he had eyes on another pony. Somepony who matched his level, plus she was lucky enough to be born a filly. Scootaloo. She was… Perfect for him. Who was I kidding? I had no chance in hay of ever getting somepony like him to notice me in the way I did him. I was just trapped in my own personal prison, living the life of somepony else. Never getting to live my own life. “Ok class! Tonight we are doing a special essay!” Cheerilee smiled happily out across the class. “Snails.” Sweetie whispered out across from me in her seat, gently hiding her muzzle behind her hoof. “We will be interviewing each other as a way of getting to know more about your fellow ponies!” “Psssssssssssssss.” Sweetie almost hissed like a snake at me as I cast her a glare in anger. “I will be placing each of you in groups of two.” “What?” I mouthed to her in silence as I shrugged my shoulders. “You will then take two weeks of getting to know each other and write about your thoughts on each other.” “D ou ant o e a irl?’ Sweetie asked in a half whisper, her small brows raised. “Huh?” I mouthed back in silence confused. “I want you both to ask each other twenty questions and answer them.” “Do you want to be a girl?” Sweetie whispered back in interest. My heart almost exploded out of my chest in surprise as my desk scooted back loudly in horror. My cheeks were suddenly on fire as my body became like jelly. “SWEETIE BELLE!” I screamed out in utter shock as the whole class turned to face me confused. “Well ok then Snails. You and Sweetie may be a team.”Cheerilee scrunched her muzzle a bit before continuing onward. I slowly gazed over to the face of Sweetie gazing back at me in silence, my whole frame trembling in fear as she simply nodded. Turning away from me she placed her attention back on the class. How did she know? Did I do something? If she pieced it together. Did anypony else? I sunk into my seat slowly, the class fading away from view as my desk grew ever higher. I prayed I could just fade away, become a pony of dust and grain floating away over the horizon. To become like everything else in my life. And vanish.
Reflection.How did she know about my secret? Did I have a tell? Did I give myself away somehow? My mind was racing with possible answers to this horrid predicament, pacing back and forth in front of the school awaiting Sweetie to appear outside so I could question her. My hooves were like jelly now, my mane flattened out by stress, I felt as if I were melting away into a puddle of goo. “Dude! What gives!?” My friend Snips pounced down the steps of the school in a obvious huff, his eyes burning into me like a wildfire on the loose in a small town. “Not now, Snips!” “Yes now! We are buddies, yet you chose that dumb filly as a partner!?” His hoof pushed my shoulder hard as I stumbled back. “I didn’t mean too…” “If you want to be a dumb filly, then do so! Just don’t leave me hanging dude…” “I DON’T WANT TO BE A FILLY!” I screamed aloud in horror as I found myself rolling onto my backside nearly paralyzed. “Dude it’s a joke relax.” Snips rolled his eyes in mild confusion, as I slowly rolled back onto my hooves with nervous laughter. “Hahaha! I knew that...I did.” I spoke in a serious tone of voice, eyes becoming still and never blinking. “Right. Next team up though, we need to…” I could see Sweetie walking down the steps in the distance, giggling cutely with her filly friends Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. I had to confront her before it would be too late, dashing away from Snips I darted over to the girls. “Get together…” Snips just gave a deep sigh, I barely picked up before running off. Sweetie softly locked her eyes with me as I skid across the grass over to her, Apple Bloom scrunching her muzzle up towards me a bit caught off guard. Scootaloo never speaking a word, yet her eyes were burning a hole through my soul. “You know Snails, I wanted Sweetie as my partner.” Scootaloo gave me an eye roll. “Scoots!” Sweetie flashed a mild glare to her friend. “What!? I’m stuck with Button Mash now!” Scootaloo gave a loud groan into the sky. “I didn’t mean too.” “Whatever, I’m surrounded by dorks.” Scootaloo gave a grumble walking off past me, making sure to nudge me hard on the side. “I think it’s cool we are meeting new ponies!” Bloom gave a sweet reply, Sweetie just giggling along. “Mmmhmm. You say that because you got Rumble?” Sweetie flaunted a slender hoof her way, Bloom just smirking and shrugging in place. “Maybe. But you have to agree he is pretty cool.” Bloom flashed a smile happily, waving bye to her friend and I before cantering off with a skip in her step. I found it so interesting how fillies could just open up about anything, have fun giggling and talking about all types of things with no fear. I was struck in awe as a soft nudge on my side broke me back into reality, Sweetie flashing me a cute smile. “Did you enjoy, your first taste of girl talk?” She gave a small smirk as I could feel my cheeks burn a bright pink. “I didn’t even say anything!” “Heehee! You could’ve jumped in at anytime.” “...” “The girls would’ve not cared, to be honest they would probably think it’s cool.” I just turned around in shame, gazing down to my hooves trembling with fear. The whole world was shattering before my eyes, I could do nothing except watch as my world came crashing down. My lips quivering in place Sweetie placed a small hoof on my shoulder, I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks wildly as I began to sob. “Please don’t tell anypony!” I clutched to the filly who gasped in surprise, slowly embracing me into a small hug the world around us falling silent. Sweetie’s place within the Carousel Boutique was wonderful her private room to hang out in was the epitome of femininity, one I could only dream of having one day all to myself. I sat upon her silken bedsheets in silence, my magic clutching a small spoon that was digging deeply into a large tub of Cherry ice cream. “You like the ice cream?” Sweetie gave a smile as she lifted a spoon up herself, floating it across the room in a lackadaisy fashion. “Mmm, it helps.” “My sister has a whole deep freezer full of the stuff, she claims it’s for her off days or when she needs a good cry.” The filly gave a soft giggle chomping down on the spoon happily. “Thank you for inviting me here.” I gave a deep sigh, she had been really nice to let me spend some time in her room away from the anxiety of the world. “”No problem! Just so I’m clear, do you want to be a filly?” Sweetie dropped the bomb swiftly atop my head, much like a rock to the skull it shook me to my core. “Yes.” I gave a flat monotone reply, tired of just hiding away my feelings as if I were made of stone. “Huh?” She batted those long dark lashes, I was half expecting her to laugh at me. “You don’t think it’s weird?” “Nope! I think whatever would make you happy, is something you should strive for.” “That sounds pretty nice Sweetie.” I could feel a small smile slowly creep across my muzzle. “How long have you felt like this?” She tilted her head to the side, sprawling out on a large velvet pillow before me in awe. “Um, as long as I can remember to be honest. I feel like I’m living in a shadow of my own life, as if I don't match with my inside.” “But wouldn’t that be like…” “A horror movie?, yeah. I wake up everyday just wishing to feel normal, yet everyday I feel more and more broken.” I slowly lifted a spoon of cherry to my lips, gently taking a bite from the melting cream. Sweetie merely folded her ears back in silence, I watched as she got up and walked off to her huge double door closet behind her. Never saying a word as silence filled the room around us, I gave a deep groan within, I just knew I probably bummed her out. “I should really just go…” I began to trip over my words before Sweetie spun around, holding a pile of various cosmetics in her hooves happily. “Awww, but I thought maybe I could help you, match your outside with the inside.” She gave a soft giggle and rushed over, dumping the many items of makeup at my hooves. My heart started to race wildly in my chest as I gazed deeply into her eyes, was this really happening? Did somepony really want to help me, or could this all be a trick? “You, want to help me?” I spoke in a cracking tone of voice. “Well sure! I love giving makeovers, though my two friends are totally not into it.” Sweetie lifted a large brush into the air with her magic, gently stroking it across my mane as she began to style it cutely. “Uhhh, yes! I mean yes please.” I almost jumped out of my skin, the brush gently grooming out the tangles from my mane slowly. I could barely hold back my growing glee, Sweetie lifting a small bottle of spray into the air as it gently spritzed my mane. The sweet scent of strawberries filling the air, I gazed across the room into a large mirror as she began to work. For a split second I could see somepony familiar in the reflection, somepony who I could not see in a long time. I could see myself.
Direction.My eyes were closed so tightly as Sweetie made the finishing touches to my mane, her hooves primping my bangs gently as she did a small tease. Her hooves lifting away from my head, the warm gentle glow of her magic fading away. “Done! Very cute, if I say so!” The filly gave a flaunt of the hoof towards me as my green hues shot wide open in shock. The reflection gazing back to me was amazing, my once flat and tangled mane gone. Replaced by a cute bob style I never knew was possible, my bangs showered over my eyes in a bouncy way while my mane had now added volume. “This is amazing! How?” I spoke in a trembling voice, my hoof lifting upward to my bob almost afraid to even touch it. “It’s quite easy, I can show you how to do it yourself.” Sweetie gave a small giggle from behind me, lifting up a pair of butterfly earrings to my ears to see what they’d look like. “That would be lovely…” “Heehee! You would be amazed how a few simple feminine touches, could really just make your style pop!” Sweetie was having a great time as she placed the earrings down, using her magic to lift up some lime green eyeshadow. “Me pop?” I gave a loud snort as my new friend giggled. “Well yeah! You have what my sister calls a congenial style.” Sweetie gave a cute squee, just as her bedroom door swung open swiftly. “Are my ears burning darling?” Miss Rarity cantered inside with an elegant smile across her muzzle, various fabrics floating within magic behind her. I wanted to collapse in pure horror as her bright blue eyes locked onto me with interest, my body quivering in fear as I never broke eye contact to blink. My jaw left hanging in the air, as my heart drummed within my chest loudly. “Oh! I thought Bloom or perhaps Scootaloo, was up here with you dear?” Rarity narrowed her eyes to me, I quickly gazed down shyly blushing a bright pink. “Hehehe! No this is my new friend...Shell…” “Glitter!” I gave a soft cough, trying to lift my voice as high as it could stretch. “Glitter Shell!” Sweetie gave a nervous giggle, before pale blue magic plucked the eyeshadow from her grasp. “Well! I’ve seen some dandys in my time, but this takes the cake!” Rarity gave a loud scoff that filled the room sternly, I could see myself being dragged down the street now shamed by the entire town. “It’s my...” I began to speak up before Rarity floated a violet eyeshadow down from a nearby vanity, tossing it to Sweetie playfully. “Green on green eyes is just asking for trouble dear, now violet will make those lovely hues just explode in color!” Rarity gave a soft giggle while placing the fabrics atop a large shelf in the corner. “Well I am still learning!” Sweetie stuck her tongue out towards her sister, the mare just flashing a sly smirk in return. “I’d love to stay and share my knowledge girls, but I fear I have work that needs to be done.” Rarity flashed a smile down to me in pleasant manner. “Your mane is fabulous, by the by.” The mare soon cantered out of the room, leaving me in complete shock as I felt lighter than air. “You passed!” Sweetie spoke far too smug for her own good. “I think I’m going to be sick!” I could feel my color fade from my cheeks, the emptiness in my belly turning into knots as I slung to my feet in fear. “What!? You will be fine.” “No! That was too close, I need air...I can’t breathe!” I could feel my anxiety form a noose around my neck, the air quickly being sucked out of my lungs. “Glitter, you need to calm down girl!” Sweetie tried to calm my nerves, yet I could just start to heave in place before pushing her aside and darting downstairs. The world was spinning out of control as I exploded out the door and into the open world, the streets thankfully empty as storm clouds begun to form overhead. Droplets of rain hitting my mane as I darted down the street, Sweetie following close behind me as I did my best to lose her. I cut through the park at top speeds, the rain showering down upon my mane and coat roughly. The once graceful beauty I felt, replaced by an ugly flat mane that draped close to my shoulders. I needed to fade away, I needed to start this day over. Yet I could feel my hooves splash down into a muddy puddle in front of me, losing my grip on the world as I came crashing down across the mud before me. Feeling so dirty and out of place, I simply flopped onto my backside in defeat gazing up to the sky while rain poured upon me swiftly. Sweetie skid to a stop at my side, a look of worry locked upon her face in a eerie silence. My green hues gazing high above the clouds, doing so made me feel as if I were floating perhaps out of this prison I called life. My heart slowing down to a calming beat, laying in the ice cold mud was quite relaxing, allowing my mind to drift to other thoughts. “Is my happiness worth anything?” “Hmm?” Sweetie spoke up with a raised brow. “I mean if I came out, I would shame my family, my friends at school and even the town.” “But you’d be happy…” “Yeah, but I’m just me. One pony vs the many.” “You want to just keep hiding away?” “It would be for the best…” “But you should at least try! If you merely hide away, you are wasting the joy that is missing in your life.” “I can’t ok! The ponies…” “Glitter! It’s not the town or your parents holding you back, it’s your fear!” “Just leave me alone!” I slung out of the mud glaring to Sweetie who folded her ears back in a hurt fashion. “Fine I’ll leave you alone, go on living your life in the shadows. I just thought we could be friends, that perhaps you had a soul bright enough to fly free…” Sweetie gave a soft sigh, turning her tail to me and walking off into the pouring rain. Vanishing from view and from my life, I was alone again just as I wanted. The rain caressing my coat like an old friend, my world full of fear and the unknown replaced by a sense of sorrow. “Why must I feel this way?” I gave a glance to the sky, eyes stinging as tears rolled down my cheeks. “Why can’t I be normal! Why must I suffer!” I gave a loud scream out to the sky, thunder exploding around me as it drowned out my pleas. “I don’t matter...I...just...don’t” I could feel my heart sink in my chest deeply, I dragged my hooves across the muddy ground heading home. Back to the shadows I knew best. Defeated I entered the abyss of my own home, everything was a pitch black inside as I made quick work to light some candles. The stench of wine wafting across the kitchen, the loud echo of fighting still heavy on the air. Mom and Dad were gone as always, I had nopony to comfort or calm me. Not that either of them could do so, they were more broken than me, each hanging on by a thread that had began to shatter over the years. No snacks set up upon the table, a quick glimpse of the shelves showed a barren wasteland high above. My world had slowed to a balance now, no longer spinning yet each step felt like a million pounds. I slowly guided myself through the darkness with ease, used to the warm embrace by now while making my way to my room. Inside all was silent, the world was far away now. My hooves were still as a piece of wood, I wanted something to give me a sense of being alive. I trudged over to my window and flung it open, sticking my head outside towards my backyard. Below was a decent drop down, nothing that would hurt me alone. But as if hearing my call, a few shattered wine bottles were scattered across the grass in a razor sharp glow. Dad must’ve tried to throw out Mother’s stash, the glass shards hanging upward in the dim light. If I could land just right, I could end this lonely facade once and for all. I could feel my heart picking up pace once more, lifting up hooves gently off the ground. All would think it was an accident, none would have to blame anypony and I would not have to be al… My gaze flashed to my side swiftly, my small mirror gleaming in the darkness. I slowly lowered myself down and trotted over, my eyes locking onto the pair of butterfly earrings hanging from my ears as they gleamed in the dim light softly. “Clip ons…” Sweetie had given these to me, without a second thought. She shared secrets and dreams with me, she opened up her heart with understanding and hope. She didn’t have a motive or a secret trick up her sleeve, she wanted to simply be my… Friend. I gave a loud groan aloud unclipping the butterflies and holding them tightly in my hooves, walking over to my bed I curled up into a small ball and began to sob. I was more frightened than ever now, not that I was alone, not that I had no friends or so I thought. It was because I wanted to live now, I wanted to break out of my prison. I knew I wanted to be… Glitter Shell.
ExpectationsMy head throbbed as if I had gotten struck by a lightning bolt. Eyes on fire from a long night of crying, which I suppose was healthy. Getting it out of my system had me feeling much better. Even if I didn't look the part at the current moment. Rolling out of bed I hit the floor with a deflated thud. My legs were complete noodles right now as if each hoof had been replaced by a bag of sand. Shuffling out of my room and towards the bathroom, I let my mind race with solutions to fix the mess created between Sweetie Belle and me. With an unenthusiastic slump against the bathroom sink, I turned on the cold water. Collecting an icy puddle in my hooves before splashing my face. My worn reflection gazing to me in a long eerie silence, water dripping off the muzzle of somepony I barely knew. Celestia give me strength. My hope is dwindling but my faith is strong. “If it isn't my little babe.” Mother sat at the kitchen table in a chipper attitude. Her strawberry mane flowing nearly to the floor in messy tangles. Her coat a frazzled but clean pink tint, teal eyes locking onto me as if I were being studied. Sometimes I wondered if she truly knew anything about me? “Mother.” I shuffled to the shelves for some oats. Of course, an empty space greeted me. Just because she was here, didn't mean she did anything productive. “Mother! That's all I ever hear from your snippy little attitude!” She flaunted a hoof towards me with an eye roll. Her horn lit up brightly as she floated a half-drunk wine bottle towards her in feminine teal-colored magic. Hooves snatching it out of the air swiftly before she popped the cork out expertly. She was preparing breakfast alright, just not for me. “Is there anything to eat?” I swallowed my pride, asking her the question politely as I could. “Mm-hmm.” She slid the bottle across the table with a mocking smile. “Mom!?” I bit my lower lip hard in anger. “Come take just a sip babe, bet you'll love it!” She slumped over the table with a loud giggle. “I just want some oats…” I replied in a whisper. “Then get a job, eh?” Mother floated the bottle back to her grasp. I wanted to scream but instead stayed silent. Anger would never solve anything. Crying would only cause more heartache. I was trapped in a nightmare, none could see. A nightmare created just for me. Turning around I made a quick gallop towards the door. The sun outside welcoming and warm, beckoning me to start anew with hope of something better. Stepping outside, I knew what needed to be done. Uptown was extremely crowded. Ponies dashing off in various directions, busy with personal chores or errands of pleasure. I enjoyed watching the many different stories of ponies unravel amongst the crowds, it was my personal little soap opera. Squeezing between two rather plump mares, I searched the area for any sign of Sweetie. I needed to apologize for acting like a complete ass. She was my friend, one I needed to try and keep close. Not everyday a filly friend comes along, not for myself anyway. “Word is, you've been in the boutique?” Button Mash suddenly smacked my shoulder extra roughly. I felt myself yelp out in surprise. That and nearly toppling over onto the ground, my mane puffing out into a complete mess. I hated being snuck up on, yet somehow everypony was a master at doing so. “What!?” I arched my brow with a slight snort. “The Carousel Boutique?” Button rolled his chocolate-colored eyes unamused. “Not in the mood.” I shook my head in place trying to push ahead. “So you were inside!” He pounced in front of me with a goofy smirk over his lips. “I never said that.” “You didn't have too, I can read you like a book!” A brown hoof poked my chest hard as I huffed a bit annoyed. Was I really that easy to decipher? “Ok, so what if I was!?” I plopped down on my flank in defeat. “You player!” Button chuckled. “Player!?” I felt my muzzle scrunch. “Yeah, I mean the girls rarely talk to anypony beyond their group!” Button wrapped his hoof around my shoulder giving a firm squeeze. “But here you are! A loser and able to grab their attention!” He shook my body slightly in excitement. “Geez, thanks.” My lips pursed into a frown at his comments. “Think you can be a pal!? Maybe introduce me to Sweetie Belle!?” He tagged along behind me as I started to walk off towards the distance. “What!? I mean…” I stammered nervously. “Doesn't have to be Sweetie, could be Apple Bloom.” Button shrugged his lanky shoulders. “Button, I don't think I could.” I collected my nerves and spoke in a stern voice. “There's three of them! No need to be greedy!” Button grunted with dissatisfaction. “But Sweetie is my friend, nothing more! I just wouldn't feel comfortable, dumping you off on her.” My voice trailed off slightly. Button stomped both hooves on the ground in a slight tantrum. His mane becoming untamed as it frazzled out much like mine. Those light chocolate eyes narrowing towards me in a sarcastic manner, his muzzle scrunched in anger. “What's that supposed to mean!?” He scoffed. “If you want to hang out, just ask her!” I let my head tilt to the side slightly. “Phst, yeah right!” Button gently pushed past, bumping his shoulder with mine hard. “She's surprisingly easy to…” I tried to reply to my defense. “Enjoy hanging out with your new friend! If you guys play dress-up, send me a postcard!” Button was soon halfway down the street his attitude overflowing with sarcasm. I could feel my cheeks burning a bright red. Why did hanging out with all my colt friends, constantly revolve around proving myself? We couldn't just sit and talk. It had to be a competition of some sort all the time, or I had to act more like a stranger and put up a faux personality. I just wanted to toss away all the mannerisms expected of me, start over and become a pony I felt comfortable as. Somepony who loved to dress up. Yet still could kick flank on games. A pony that could giggle at nothing with her filly friends. But also just pull pranks with some of the guys. I didn't want to be one of the girls. Or part of the boy's club. I honestly, just want to be me. Author's Note Planning multiple updates for this very soon.
