How Do Ponies Even Play A Guitar?

by BurningMockingJay

Rating: everyone
Tags: Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Octavia, Comedy, Random, DJ P0N-3, Human
Length: 1038

An instrument that should be unplayable to ponies or any other animals with a lack of fingers is apparently the opposite of what you'd expect. So here's the question: How?

There are multiple musicians in the world of Equestria, and the instruments they play range from the classical chellos, violins and grand pianos, but in the world of rock and roll, the most mind-boggling instrument out there is the guitar. The most common question is ''How can you even play that with those hooves? It should be impossible by the laws of anatomy!''

When asked by this, the inquirer is surprised by the answer they receive.

Published 2017-08-14 04:40:12 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-14 04:40:12 UTC

Pure Confusion

''So, how do you do it, again?'' I asked as I gently lowered my guitar, a blue and white Stratocaster. ''I still don't understand,'' I said, lightly scratching the back of my neck with my hand as I stared at the three mares in front of me with bafflement.

Lyra Heartstrings, Octavia Melody and Vinyl Scratch.

They were all accompanied with their own personal instruments in a half-circle in the living room section of Lyra's house. Lyra was sat on a small stool with her wooden lyre in her hooves, Octavia stood elegantly and professionally with her cello and bow at the ready, and Vinyl Scratch, rather than being subtle with her choice of instruments, she decided to bring along both her dual turntable and keytar.

All three mares stared at me with unreadable expressions.

''The same way you play, dear,'' Octavia said softly in her sophisticated English accent. ''With passion.''

I facepalmed at her response. We were all gathered for a jamming session, taking turns in switching practice locations between our residences. First was Lyra's, then Octavia's, then Vinyl's and finally, my house. We've been playing together for a week and decided to form our own band. Naturally, I quickly found myself becoming curious of the mares' talents.

Specifically, since they all play the same style of instrument - with the exception of Vinyl's keytar - I couldn't help but notice their skill of playing such instruments with a lack of appendages. In the end, I asked the one question that was burning in the back of my skull.

''Just how do ponies even play a guitar?'' I asked ''I mean, it shouldn't even be possible by your anatomy.'' I said, pointing at their hooves, their eyes following my finger to look downwards.

''Well, you're playing with those fingers, aren't you?'' Lyra piped up and raised her brow at me questioningly.

''Yes, but my guitar is designed so I can play with them. Back on Earth, with used either a pick or our fingers to play just about any stringed instrument that wasn't a violin.''

''Honestly, of course you wouldn't play the violin with such levels of disrespect,'' Octavia chimed in, looking mortified. ''Why, it's such a mockery of the classic and traditional violin family to sink to such levels. Such stringed instruments were never meant to be a dingy rocker's tool.'' She said bitterly yet passionately.

''Hey, you take that back!'' Vinyl Scratch shot her a glare from behind her dual turntables and amplifiers. ''If I can play a guitar with a pick, why can't I use one for a violin?'' She questioned.

''Vinyl Malory Scratch, if you even dare to place that...abomination to my cello, I'll have your mane fashioned into a new bow!'' She said, glaring daggers at her life-long friend as she jabbed her bow in her direction.

''Whoa, whoa, easy, girls,'' I said, trying to ease the tension, but only seeming to make things worse.

''Girls?!'' Octavia blurted out in shock, her voice leaving her lips with a gasp. ''Mr ButtTash, I'll have you know that I'm a lady!'' She proudly held her hoof to her chest with her declaration before pointing in Vinyl's direction. ''Although, I can't say the same for my companion.''

''You know, Tavi, I-'' Vinyl began, only to be cut off by her grey, pink-bowtie wearing friend.

''I told you to never use that name in public, Vinyl!'' She said, to which only the electric blue maned unicorn only gave a shrug and a soft, adorable smirk.

''Well, seems like we're even for you saying my middle name.'' Vinyl said with triumph.

''Okay, ladies,'' I said, noticing the cellist give a smile of approval. I rolled my eyes and continued. ''Seriously, how do you actually play stringed instruments with hooves? I don't even see how it's possible.'' I asked, raising my guitar for emphasis.

''It's quite simple, really,'' Lyra said, giving her lyre a smooth and melodic strum. ''We just need to play with the correct angle so we don't block the strings when we play. Although, now that I think of it, like when you said instruments were designed by other humans for their fingers, ours were designed especially for our hooves by spacing the strings.'' Lyra explained.

Come to think of it myself, I haven't actually noticed much difference in spacing between strings or even the frets on equine guitars. Looking down at my guitar's headstock, I took very close note of the branding - Neighiphone. Clearly, this was some sort of horse pun for Epiphone guitars. It made me chuckle at first sight, but it brought many wonders to how many other common names from Earth were also common in Equestria, only altered into a pun of sorts.

Prancer was one of them, I remembered.

''Oh, don't look at me, dear,'' Octavia said once my eyes fell upon her. ''My bow is all I need to play strings, so simple enough, I suppose.'' I found myself satisfied with her answer. I guess it made quite a lot of sense when bows were applied to strings in order to produce a sound.

Lastly, I focused my attention to Vinyl. ''Well, how about you, Vinyl?'' I said, motioning with my eyes to the keytar in her hooves. She raised her purple goggles and rested them on her head behind her horn to keep up. She looked down to the instrument and gave a cocky smirk.

''This baby has enlarged keys!'' She said, giving a key a push to prove her point, the sound causing the room to vibrate as a high-pitched electronic note screamed from the amplifiers. Everypony and myself shielded our ears from the onslaught. ''Besides, it's a custom order I got from Canterlot from a friend! Pretty cool, huh?''

She then proceeded to give the rather large keys a series of taps as she worked them over to produce a heavy rock-style stream of deafening notes that only enhanced the intensity of the atmosphere. And Octavia's breaking point.

The sound waves were so powerful that her charcoal black mane and bow hairs become unkempt and messy. Around her neck, her pink bowtie came undone and hung limply down her collar.

''VINYL SCRATCH!''