Guardian of Forever (And Equestria Too, I Guess)

Chapters

1: A Really, Really Bad Day
2: If Only Quick Fixes Ever Worked
3: Party, Crashed
4: Stop the Clock I Wanna Get Off
5: We Need to Talk
6: Calling Down the Thunder
7: She's A Mania-c

1: A Really, Really Bad Day

The Clockstopper laughed as a laser bounced off his chest and fizzled into nothingness. “I can’t believe, after all this time, I finally get to see the inside of this control chamber!” he roared over the alarms blaring in the background. The assembled Geniuses could only watch in horror as he began to reach his hand towards the biggest, reddest button he could find. Time almost seemed to slow as the button went deeper into the hole it rested in, and as a faint click resounded through the room, time seemed to almost stop altogether. In fact, a trained observer could have noted that it most certainly did stop. That was the function of the device, after all.

The last thing Mason remembered before the black set in was how weird it felt being both frozen in time and simultaneously being sucked out into space.

When Mason came to, everything hurt. His hands were stiff and wouldn’t unclench. There was a strange electric buzzing behind his eyes.[1]

[1]TRANSLATOR ACTIVATED.

Well, that explained that.

His head felt like it had been squished. His spine wouldn’t straighten, so he couldn’t properly stand. The disorientation was really getting to him, because every body part felt like it was in just slightly the wrong place. He faintly heard someone talking nearby, and his ears swiveled towards…

That wasn’t right. Ears didn’t swivel. Well, not without some particularly unnecessary bits of modding they didn’t. His eyes snapped open, and he groaned. It wasn’t that he was stiff or in too much pain to move. It was that his body had been drastically reassembled to that of a completely different species. He really hated assignments like these, but they were thankfully rare.

Wait, there was no assignment. He’d been at the Guardians’ “Entirely Secular Soltice Event” party (or just “the essep” as they usually called it) when the alarms for a priority zero breach had gone off. The entire base had rushed to their defensive stations, which is when Mason had caught sight of the Clockstopper. Some kind of mutant strain of them, too, based on the havoc he’d been causing. The fighting went all the way to Command, where the lunatic did… something. Mason would have to get back to that point. Big red buttons were involved, so that probably had something to do with how he had ended up wherever here was.

Which led back to the most annoying thing: Mason wasn’t human anymore. Equine, if his new hooves were any indication. And by the look of the very equine creature talking at him. The Guardians’ tech automatically converted you to the right species on insertion, so this was hardly the first time he’d been something other than human. Not having any fine manipulators was going to be a pain though. No hands, no talons, no weird stringy appendages that were a fetishist’s dream. Just hooves.

“...Going to say anything? Oh Celestia,[2] you’re a Termineightor,[3] aren’t you?” Mason focused on the translator for a moment, then he realized what the creature was actually saying.

[2]Appears to be used as a form of supernatural swearing. Likely the name of a deity or other figure of worship.
[3]Yes, the “neigh” sound in the middle is absolutely how they intended to say that.

“Oh, sorry. Just kind of disoriented at the moment,” he said, trying his best not to sound like a killer robot in disguise. Which was difficult when the words that were coming out of Mason’s own mouth sounded unfamiliar and strange, distracting him and making him talk slower than he normally would. “Speaking of, would you happen to know where I am, uh[4], Mister…”

[4]He’s a guy.

“It’s Sprocket. And you’re in Baltimare park.” The unnaturally green horse[5] in front of Mason appeared to look him up and down, making some kind of expression, but Mason wasn’t sure what it meant. “You uh, you need to see a doctor or something? You don’t look so great. Or a magic specialist? Ponies[6] don’t normally appear out of thin air, unconscious, and beat to Tartarus[7] like that.”

[5]The proportions would indicate a pony, actually.
[6]Ha! Told you! Also it would appear they use that in place of the word “people.”
[7]You can probably guess this one, but that’s hell.

It was then that Mason once again realized how much his... everything hurt. “Yeah, I think I may want both. Could you point me in the right direction?”

Sprocket looked shocked. “You’re not planning on walking, are you? In your state, you’ll pass out again on the way there! Let’s get you a cab. By the way, what’s your name?”

“Mason Smith,” he replied.

“Mason Smith, eh?” Sprocket said as he hefted Mason onto his back. At this point, Mason came to the jarring realization that this pony seemed to have wings, if the feathers tickling his stomach were any indication. “Explains the cutie mark[8] I suppose. Don’t see a lot of unicorns[9] in blacksmithing though. What’s that like?”

[8]That’s what he said literally, but it also seems to roughly translate as “symbol of purpose” or something. Sounds like the kind of thing where you’ll look crazy if you ask for an explanation.
[9]Congratulations, Mason. You’re apparently a unicorn. Aren’t you special?

Mason thought about that a moment before responding. “It’s uh, not so different than anypony else doing it.”

“No? Figured it would be,” Sprocket said cheerily, looking back over his shoulder at Mason. That was apparently Sprocket’s fill of conversation for the moment, as he didn’t say much of anything until he had managed to hail a cab.

As the two got in, Sprocket did the talking. “We need to get to Baltimare General, please.”

The pony pulling the cab gave a response that was somewhere between a grunt and a “sure,” and with that the two were off.

Going to the hospital had been a mistake. Not a huge mistake, but definitely somewhere in that week’s top ten if he were to measure them purely by the level of frustration caused.

It had started well enough. Sprocket explained where he’d found Mason. Mason explained as vaguely as possible how he’d gotten hurt. The doctor said she wanted to run some additional tests that she said were standard after a “magic-based accident.” And apparently those included an X-ray, which to the surprise of everyone but Mason yielded some unpleasant results.

“Mr. Smith,” the doctor began, “I’m afraid I have some bad news. I think you may have exited the teleport partially coinciding with solid matter, as we found this in the X-ray.” She clipped the sheet displaying the problem onto the lightbox, and Mason recognized the shape of a head in profile. A pointer next to the table began to glow a pale shade of red as the doctor picked it up, using it to indicate a dark patch near the center of where the brain would be. “Frankly, Mr. Smith, it’s a wonder you’re alive given that you have a shard of metal in your brain.”[10]

[10]Hey! I take offense to that! I am a computer smaller than your eyeball capable of interpreting and translating language with a sample size of next to nothing, AND I can take direct control of a person’s relevant muscles to speak for them in another language! I am a miracle of ingenuity, not just some “shard of metal,” thank you very much! And besides, I am at least forty percent plastics!

“I see. But besides that I’m fine, right?” Mason asked, unmoved by the doctor’s distress.

The doctor blinked a few times and shook her head before replying. “Besides that? Mr. Smith, there is a chunk of metal in your brain. This could kill you at any moment.[11] We need to do something.”[12]

[11]I mean I guess I could make you bite off your own tongue. If you don’t seek medical attention that would probably kill you from blood loss. I don’t know if that really counts as “any moment.”
[12]Guess who won’t have a tongue anymore if you agree with her.

“I’m really fine,” Mason insisted, holding up a hoof to forestall any objections. “I’m serious. This is a known issue, it didn’t just appear there, it’s been there quite a while, and I am one hundred percent fine. It was determined when it got there that any attempt to remove it would do more harm than its presence currently does. Please, can we just move on?”

The doctor took a deep breath, then sighed. “I suppose I can’t force you to seek treatment for this. But I will strongly recommend it.[13] Besides that, it’s mostly just bruises and cuts. A couple would have likely become infected, but we took care of that. Come back and see us in a few days if anything still hurts as much as it does now. Are you still going to see a magic specialist today?”

[13]I strongly recommend keeping your tongue, but your call I guess.

“Um… yes?”

“Then I’ll make sure he gets these results. When he tells you to get that hunk of metal removed, feel free to change your mind. Do you have a magic specialist you see normally, or will you need assistance finding one?”

The magic specialist, as it turned out, wasn’t some guy in wizard’s robes in a tower miles away from town. He had a surprisingly legitimate looking office a few blocks away from the hospital, filled with various glowing… things. Mason was fairly certain they didn’t do anything. After all, it would be irresponsible to put magical artifacts in easy reach of any random stranger coming in for a consultation. But they sure did glow.

The specialist’s horn lit up for what must have been the twelfth time, which Mason supposed was probably him casting another “spell.” He wasn’t sure how a Mage could keep casting like that, obviously producing an effect, without a Paradox or ten causing him to explode, but maybe he was just exceptionally powerful. After a long while of looking at a pile of notes he’d been taking during and after each casting, the specialist spoke.

“Mr. Smith, how long have you had that bit of metal inside your head?” He asked with a concerned look on his face.

“Oh, a few years now.”

The Mage seemed shocked at this news. “You’ve been living with that thing stuck in your thaumic nerve[14] for years? I know you told the hospital that it’s likely to do more harm than good on removal, but I’m not so sure. Your aura isn’t even recognizable as a unicorn! Have you been able to cast even a basic levitation spell since this happened? How did it even get there?”

[14]Don’t know much about magic, but I’d wager that a “thaumic nerve” is something all the ones with horns have. Maybe it’s not even actual magic. Maybe they’re psychic or something.

Mason sighed. He’d been hoping not to have to explain quite as much as he was about to in order to get some answers, but sometimes the fastest way to get what he wanted was also the way that made him look like a lunatic. Really, that’s the story of most Geniuses’ lives.

“I haven’t been able to cast a basic levitation spell ever, doc.” Another cringe from the Mage. “And it got there because it was deliberately placed there. With consent.” Another. He was clearly about to begin speaking, but Mason kept on going. “It’s a translator device. It uses[15] quantum detectors tuned to pick up thought waves[16] to determine what I’m hearing, then uses context and common linguistic trends to parse it so I can understand it.[17] It uses the same quantum detectors to figure out what I want to say in return, translates it back into the language it’s receiving input from, then uses its connection with my brain to manipulate my mouth into the sounds needed.[18] In other words, if I didn’t have that device inside of me right now - Chip, take a ten second break for me[19]…” Mason took a deep breath as he felt himself regain full control of his mouth for the first time all day. “I would sound like this."

[15]Stop explaining. You know what’ll happen.
[16]You’re only going to make this worse. It’s obvious he thinks that sounds ridiculous. His eyes are starting to glaze.
[17]You know that I shouldn’t be capable of doing that. No legitimate science that actually exists could do that. There’s the “I’m smiling to make you comfortable because you’re unstable and I’m afraid for my safety” smile.
[18]Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand you just told him that I’m capable of controlling your body. You realize for him that’s cause for alarm whether he thinks you’re lying or not?
[19]Oh good, I get to stop spewing your stupidity for a whole ten seconds. This isn’t going to help, you know.

It was strange, hearing spoken English coming out of a mouth clearly not designed for it. It was hard to distinguish where one word ended and another began, because it all sort of ran together. But for the first time since he’d arrived, Mason was hearing speech that wasn’t comprised of nickers, whinnies, snorts, and other sounds he would normally classify as just noise. He couldn’t help but smile even as the effect on the Mage took hold. It occurred to Mason that he should probably elaborate a little better, since his cards were on the table anyway.

Mason tapped the side of his head. “Chip, back on please.[20] Ugh. Yes, you do have to.[21] That immediate instinct to not believe me is called Jabir. Tell me,” Mason said as he leaned forward towards the pony in front of him. “Do you have science fiction stories around here?”

[20]Do I have to?
[21]Fine.

“Well yes, of course. I fail to see wh-”

“And are you the sort of pony that enjoys them?” Mason had gotten so close now, they were almost nose to nose.

The doctor scooched back in his chair before replying, a strained look on his face. “I, um, well I’ve never really cared much for them. Always seemed to me if you were going to have a story with that kind of fantastical technology, you could just set it in the real world with a capable unicorn instead. After all, any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science.[22] Could you maybe back up a bit?” Mason did not. He was starting to feel the rush of Mania coming in, and he definitely wasn’t going to stop before he got some more.

[22]Listen, we’re both offended. Just move on.

“You see, what if I told you that there’s a grain of truth behind the fiction there? Short version since you’re clearly getting a little weirded out: I’m a very mad scientist, and I’m a long way from home. When I got out of bed this morning, I didn’t even have a ‘thaumic nerve.’ Or hooves. Or a horn. Or a tail. Or even a body that remotely resembles the one you’re looking at in any capacity. Before I came here, a guy had just destroyed the base of operations for my organization, possibly killing everyone[23] I know and leaving me stranded. I am having a very, very bad day. And if another pony tells me that my only lifeline in this world[24] is a detriment to my health, I don’t give a[25]… My translator is telling me the word is ‘buck.’”

[23]Not that I think your or him care at the moment, but that should’ve been “everypony.”
[24]Love you too, you absolute lunatic.
[25]Hold on there buddy, the word they would understand in this context is “buck.”

Mason hadn’t realized he had placed his hooves on the wall and caged in the doctor until the high of Mania left his system. Realizing he’d let the crazier aspects of being a Genius take over, he went back over to his chair, sat down, and cleared his throat in embarrassment.

The doctor, still stunned, straightened his tie, did a gesture with his hooves that Mason assumed was the equivalent of a human steepling their fingers, then began speaking in a shaky voice. “You, Mr. Smith, are definitely either in need of a psychiatrist, or the Princesses.”

Mason laughed a full, deep laugh. “Well doc, if you could get me an appointment with whichever one is likely to be well versed in dimensional theory, I’d be most appreciative.”

What Mason most certainly did not expect was to actually receive an appointment. What confused him more is that apparently the royalty around here were well versed in dimensional theory.

2: If Only Quick Fixes Ever Worked

Mason and Sprocket strode the halls of the ostentatiously large structure that supposedly housed a member of royalty. The couple of locals they’d asked near the train station had pointed them in this direction, and the radical difference in aesthetic and size would’ve been enough on its own to steer the two that way. It didn’t seem quite right though. The town surrounding it could be called a village if you were generous, and there were no guards stationed at the entrance or anywhere inside. Not the typical hallmarks of royalty as Mason understood them. Sprocket, however, seemed to be impressed. He was practically vibrating with excitement.

“Oh I can’t believe it! You’ve been in this world three days and you get to meet Princess Twilight!” He’d been eavesdropping outside of the magic specialist’s office, and he seemed far more credulous than the doctors had been. “And perhaps your new friend can come in with you, maybe?”

Mason just nodded as he kept walking. They finally reached the gigantic double doors at the other end of the hall and knocked. The door opened a crack and a small, scaly purple head with green fins down the back poked out. “Hi! Are you here for the appointment Twilight’s been going on about?”

Mason extended his hoof towards the little reptile. “That’d be me. Mason Smith. And this is my friend, Sprocket.” A pang of jealousy shot through him as the creature extended a hand towards him to shake. Sure, his new hooves had turned out to have a limited tactile telekinesis, but that was definitely worse than having actual hands. The door opened the rest of the way, revealing a massive circular chamber dominated by a table and several thrones around it.

A purple pony got out of one of the seats facing away from the door, turning around to look their way with a smile. A moment later, Mason received an elbow to his stomach. Turning to find out what had just happened, he saw Sprocket doing what he assumed was a bow. He was about to follow suit when the mare in front of them spoke.

“That really isn’t necessary,” she said. “I am Princess[1] Twilight Sparkle. And based on this letter I got yesterday, one of you has travelled a long way to get here. Which one of you is Mason Smith?”

[1]I’ve been waiting for anyone to use a word that translates to “king” or “queen” around here, and no luck. I think “princess” might be as high as their hierarchy goes.

“He is,” Sprocket said while pointing.

The princess turned to face Mason. “I see. Please, come into the throne room here and we can talk about your uh[2], situation.”

[2]Is it weird to you that this member of royalty just used a filler word? That’s weird, right?

Twilight led them through the doors, gesturing at two of the seats across the table from her own. The little reptilian creature took a seat in the throne next to her’s that had been sized for him.

“So Mr. Smith - can I call you Mason?” He nodded. “Mason, tell me how you arrived here. Because by the sound of what you told Doctor Nebula I might have a very quick solution to the issue.”

Mason took a deep breath. “Well, I was at work. I work for an organization called the Guardians of Forever. Our job is to make sure that people don’t alter history with the use of time travel, or to steer history towards something resembling its normal state in situations where such alterations can’t be stopped. We have a base that exists in a pocket dimension, removed from space and time, which a hostile force found its way into and destroyed. The base’s evacuation protocols kicked in, which meant that it booted me to a random habitable point in my dimension, or at least tried to. Next thing I knew, I woke up here with a body I’m very unfamiliar with. Three days ago, I was a bipedal creature called a human.” As soon as Mason mentioned his species, Twilight positively beamed. “I’m guessing from your expression that you do have a quick solution? Because I would love a quick solution right now.”

The princess hopped off her throne and walked briskly towards a different door from the one they had entered. The doors were enveloped in what Mason had come to recognize as pony magic, and they opened quickly. Beyond was a room that appeared to be a library or a very large study. Twilight crossed the room, stopping in front of a massive and decorated full-length mirror. Or at least at some point it was a mirror. Mason noted the various arcane contraptions around it and saw that they were actually connected directly to the thing. He had to question the usefulness of pistons made of wood, but he wasn’t the magic expert in the room.

“I just so happen to have a portal to the human world,” Twilight said in a voice Mason easily recognised as someone who wanted him to be impressed. “It used to only open once every thirty moons, but I managed to find a more stable source of power and a channeling focus tuned to the other side. You can use it, on one condition.”

“And what would that condition be?” Mason asked with what he hoped was a raised eyebrow. He wasn’t entirely sure which facial muscles did what yet.

Mason jumped when Twilight poked him in the chest with the edge of her hoof.[3] “You are going to show me this organization that you work for. And they are going to explain how in Tartarus they or anypony can travel through time on a whim.[4]”

[3]I don’t know what royal etiquette normally entails in these parts, but I’d bet she doesn’t either. Something about this lady weirds me out.
[4]My programming is at this point forcing me to remind you that this would be a substantial breach in policy, with punishments up to and including termination depending on circumstance. It doesn’t force me to care about this breach in policy, however. Just remind you. You do you, Mason. Hell, maybe they’ll take me back and get me a new agent.

If Twilight noticed Mason’s sudden distraction, she didn’t think it important enough to stop. “Time travel, at least for us, is something that only a hoof full of ponies can even consider doing. The most powerful spellcasters in all of Equestria. I know exactly one pony who has done it and isn’t either an alicorn or became one[5] later. And if I’m being honest she’s probably going to become an alicorn at the rate she’s going.” She took a deep breath, then got back on topic. “The idea that enough pon… That enough people have access to this ability that there’s an entire large-scale organization dedicated to preventing its problems is unsettling to say the least. So that’s the deal. You get to go home, I get to see that home.”

[5]“Alicorn” translates here as “winged unicorn.” Given the context, I’m guessing ponies like her are very rare. They probably form the ruling class. Kinda’ racist, actually. Oh, and apparently it’s possible for these ponies to change species. So, that's a thing.

Mason didn’t respond immediately. As his translator had pointed out, what she was asking was a serious offence. But the Guardians of Forever were usually understanding of strange circumstances. There were no rules there that couldn’t be broken with a very good explanation or the greasing of the proper palms. Mason was a bit short on anything he could use to bribe his way out of the problem, but he was fairly certain they would understand.

“We have a deal, princess,” Mason said as he extended his hoof. Twilight bumped it with her own, and the two made to go through the portal, when the third pony in the room made his presence felt for the first time in the conversation.

“Hey Mason,” Sprocket began awkwardly. “I wasn’t expecting you to just be heading back so quick like this. Figured I could learn a thing or two about all that tech you said your people have before you go.[6] I uh, well I’m sad to see you go. I know we only met the other day, but maybe you could come back and visit sometime?”

[6]Wait. Mason, can you feel it? There’s something behind his eyes. That’s Illumination! He’s either started down the road to catalyzing or… Oh, that poor guy. He’s so nice, too. He doesn’t deserve this.

Mason could feel the guilt rising up as he realized what his translator was hinting at, but he still had a mission to accomplish. “Yeah, um. Of course Sprocket. As soon as I get things settled back home, I’ll be back,” Mason half-lied. He didn’t know what he’d be up to once his business at home was settled, but he knew he didn’t want his new friend facing what was about to hit him alone. Not when it was unquestionably Mason’s fault to begin with, at least.

“Well, that was a bust,” Mason said as they came back through the portal.

“Well, it didn’t really cost you anything but time. Is something wrong, Mason?”

Mason had frozen on the spot. He didn’t realize it, but every part of his new body was signaling danger. Ears and eyes pivoted trying to find whatever had alerted him. Muscles tensed, ready to bolt. Breaths became shorter and quieter.

And then a pink blur burst into the room, and Mason screamed like a small child. Twilight, for her part, simply chuckled. “It’s alright! This is just my friend, Pinkie!”

As Mason cowered from what his senses were telling him was an abomination, it began to speak.

“Oh my gosh hi I’m Pinkie Pie! My Pinkie sense[7] told me there wasn’t just one new pony in town but two and I just had to come and say hello! And then when I got here your friend Sprocket who’s super nice by the way told me you were from another world and you do a bunch of science stuff and that’s so cool and hey why are you crying?[8]”

[7]Clearly just a nickname for something. I’m guessing an Apokalypsi something.
[8]Deep breaths, in and out. She’s not hurting you. I know it’s unlikely, but she might be a nice one.

Mason’s brain finally resumed some of its normal activity, and he turned to face his host instead of the most unsettling thing he’d seen since his arrival. “Twilight, I very urgently need to tell you something, in private.”

Twilight was clearly confused, but she could take a hint. “Um, alright Mason. Hey Pinkie, could you give us a minute?”

“Okie dokie, Twilight!” Pinkie snapped off a mock salute and exited the room as abruptly as she had entered it.

Twilight wasted no time confronting her guest about the issue after the door closed. “Listen, I know Pinkie can seem like a little much at first, but she’s one of the friendliest ponies I’ve met in my entire life and-”

“No Princess,[9] you don’t understand. Let me back up a little bit. I have the ability to harness an energy source called Mania. Most people like me use it to power fantastic, impossible inventions. But it has an inherent toll on the mind, which you probably guessed from the name.”

[9]Probably a bad idea to directly interrupt royalty, but hey we’ve got bigger problems at the moment.

“I don’t see what this has to do with Pinkie Pie,” Twilight replied.

Mason sighed. “Getting there, I promise. Mania warps your ability to think rationally. It burns inside your head until there’s nothing left but itself. There’s a middle ground between a person fighting that burn and someone who’s gone, though. People who accept the Mania, and bend it directly without even thinking about it. Reality starts to warp around them, conforming to their beliefs instead of physics. And that makes them dangerous. We call them unmada, and anyone who can use Mania can sense when they’re near one.” He paused to let Twilight connect the last dot on her own.

After a short moment, the realization dawned on Twilight’s face. “So you’re saying that Pinkie is…”

Mason nodded. “The most powerful unmada I’ve ever personally encountered.”

The tension in the room came crashing down when Twilight started laughing. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wondering how she does half of the stuff I’ve seen her do.”

3: Party, Crashed

“Whaaaaaaat are you working on?” Pinkie asked, a grin that crackled with Mania plastered on her face.

“A pair of mechanical claws, to make it easier to work on even more inventions.”

“Ooh, neat! Why can’t you just use your hoof-grip though?”

Sprocket chimed in while he checked that the bolts on the gadget were all properly tightened. “Because ‘using your crazy hoof voodoo for fine manipulation is like trying to use a spoon to mine diamonds.’”

Pinkie pondered that for a moment before responding. “But what if you had a really big spoon? Ooh! Sharpen the edges to make it easier to dig with! Maybe coat it with something stronger than normal rock!” Pinkie darted into the hall outside Twilight’s laboratory, Inspiration swirling around her.

Mason faintly heard her yelling “Twilight! I need your biggest spoon!” as she ran off to find her friend.

It had been like this for a few days now. Mason would feverishly work using Twilight’s laboratory (which she had graciously offered to let him use while he stayed in Equestria), Sprocket would assist him, then Pinkie would show up to remind him that his welcome party was going to be coming up. Although by now, “coming up” had turned into “tonight.” Thankfully, the first thing he had developed was a pill to prevent the headaches being in Pinkie’s unmada field gave him. Really, besides the constant unease Pinkie gave him, he couldn't have asked for a better setup. Working as a “temporary diplomat,” getting free room and board with royal accommodations, access to an absolutely stunningly spacious (albeit poorly equipped) lab, and an eager lab assistant that Twilight was graciously also offering a room to. Besides, plenty of people back home were unmada too. They just weren't as powerful. And most unmada weren't constantly getting Mania from somewhere. Pinkie must have had a really strong generator somewhere.

Mason’s musings were cut short as she burst back into the room. With a spoon wrapped in the curls of her mane. “Twilight said I could have one of her spoons! Check it out!”

She handed the newly made contraption over to Mason. It had clearly at some point been some kind of fine silver, as he could just barely make out the color underneath the layer of pink crystal surrounding it. No doubt sourced from the very walls of the castle. The edges were sharp as a razor, and the whole thing crackled with Mania. When he tested it by poking his workbench, he noticed the spoon seemed to almost guide the movement towards a tiny crack in the wood. She had somehow made an Epikrato-based digging tool. The study of manipulation, from the physical to the mind, all the way up to laws of reality. To dig holes. That just… wasn't what you were supposed to use that branch of Inspired technology for.

“Pinkie,” Mason began.

“Yeeeeees?”

“When I said something was ‘like trying to use a spoon to mine diamonds,’ that was supposed to be a joke,” he said as he searched for some fault in the design. Most inventions had one somewhere.

Pinkie pouted at him, which was really just unfair. How did ponies expand their eyes like that when they were upset? “Well, why can't it be funny and a real thing? I mean, that's what we do, right? Turn whatever fun idea we have into something ponies can share?”[1]

[1]Oh, she actually believes that, doesn’t she? That’s just heartbreaking.

Mason put the spoon down on the workbench and turned his full attention to the mare next to him. “Pinkie, you've never had anypony else to talk to about this kind of thing before, have you?”

She giggled back at him before responding. “Sure I have, silly! I have my friend Cheese Sandwich, and now I've got you!” She leaned over one of the claws he'd been working on, examining them as thoroughly as Mason had the spoon. “By the way, if you add some fabric to the outside and double the number of bendy bits in the grabby parts and then tinker with the foldy parts and make the ends of the grabbers wider,[2] you could make it so these turn into a pair of shoes when you don't need them. Would make them way more convenient to use.”

[2]No, nothing wrong with my translation here. These are the actual words she's using. Sounds like she knows what she's talking about, but not the words to say it.

Mason took a moment to try and parse Pinkie’s words into a more coherent thought. “Okay, I think I understand what you mean, but why the fabric?”

“Oh, so they'll look nice instead of all spindly and scary,” Pinkie said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Fair enough. I think I've got a working model here, but I'll need help to get your ideas to work on it. Can I get a[3] hoof?”

[3]Hoof.

Pinkie positively lit up. “Of course!”

And so with smiles on their faces and energy in their movements, Mason, Sprocket and Pinkie set to work on the next set of adjustments.

This isn't so bad, hanging out with an unmada, Mason thought. Just going to need way more of those headache pills.

The party was going surprisingly well. The food was delicious. The decor had a certain charm if you were okay with it being childish. There was something delightful about a bakery shaped like a giant cupcake. And Pinkie had kept the guest list mercifully short. Just herself, Mason, Sprocket, Twilight, Spike, and four mares that Pinkie had insisted he just had to meet. They were still waiting on one more arrival. Apparently one of Pinkie's other friends was out of town, but was returning tonight and had been told about the party. And she lived in the castle with Twilight and Spike normally, so she'd be a sort of roommate going forward.

The only problem was the sense of foreboding doom emanating from… somewhere towards the mountains north of this town.[4] It felt familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. Vaguely similar in nature to the field of Mania sparking off of Pinkie constantly, but distinct from it. And it had been getting stronger for hours.

[4]Ponyville.

It clicked when he heard a distant train whistle signaling arrivals in town. It was a perfect inverse of an Unmada field. A sucking void where the power of Mania went to die. And that meant only one thing.

Mason urgently walked over to where Twilight was having a conversation with the blue one.[5] "Twilight, can I borrow you for a moment?"

[5]Rainbow Dash. Mason seriously, how can you not remember "Rainbow" for this girl her head is a rainbow.

"- and he actually has a sensible explanation for Pinkie," Twilight said as she turned away from the conversation. "What's up?"

"I'd really like this to be a private discussion. No offense, B-[6] Rainbow. Just need to tell Twilight something kind of awkward."

[6]Not only did I just tell you what the right answer is, why did you even think it was "Blue Fast?"

Rainbow stepped away with a "no problem," moving over to where the orange one[7] and the white one[8] were talking. Over the music, Mason could just barely hear her. "Ten bits says he's asking her out."

[7]Applejack.
[8]Rarity. I'm starting to consider administering shocks when you forget their names.

He couldn't quite hear Rarity's response since her voice was quieter. Until her volume spiked for one sentence.

"I'll bet fifty!"

Twilight turned to him once the other girls' conversation didn't seem focused on them. "What's up?"

"I've been sensing something for a while now, getting closer and closer. Wasn't sure what it was until it got closer." Mason began to hyperventilate "Twilight, I think the train that just arrived a minute ago was carrying a Clockstopper, and they're coming for me."

Twilight put a hoof to his shoulder. "Breathe, Mason.[9] Good. Now, what is a Clockstopper?"

[9]I'll just take over the breathing for a bit.

"Okay, imagine that being a mad scientist is like a being a faucet, but with Mania instead of water. We're not where Mania is created, but we are the point it enters from."

"Okay," Twilight said. "With you so far. Are Clockstoppers just the opposite of that? Like the drain?"

Mason nodded. "Exactly. They're drawn to peo- ponies[10] like me. They hunt ponies like me. They have a strange neutralizing effect on our technology. They're strangely charismatic because they appeal to the basest instincts of ponies, so they can stir up a mob in a couple short sentences. They are natural enemies to my kind, and the reason I'm here at all is because one broke into my home somehow. What if it's the same one? My whole organization couldn't stop him! What chance do I have?"

[10]Gotta get in the habit even in private, Mason.

Twilight stopped to think about the problem for a moment before speaking. "Can they stop magic?" Mason shook his head. "Then you couldn't be safer here. We have the power of Harmony[11] on our side, and that's the strongest magic there is!"

[11]Sounds religious, sort of. Or at least reverent. I wouldn't put too much stock in whatever she's on about here.

"I appreciate it, Princess. It feels like they've been getting closer this entire time. They're headed straight for us."

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. Mason's senses were going into overload as Pinkie opened it. A wave of the strange Clockstopper energy followed the mare coming in. He screamed, then bolted for the back door without looking back.

As everypony saw one of the guests of honor flee in a panic, Starlight looked at everypony else around the room. "What's wrong? I know I'm not that ugly," she joked.

Author's Note

So, uh, been a while, huh? The first scene in this was written maybe a month or two after the previous chapter. The second was planned and scrapped over and over again, to try and wrangle it into the overall story I want to tell. And believe it or not, there is an overall story I want to tell already in mind here. My main obstacle towards continuing was, frankly, this damn chapter. So I'm hoping to have the next one up in less than three years.

Big thanks to everyone's favorite omnipresent observer of all media, FanOfMostEverything, for doing a pre-reading pass of the chapter!

4: Stop the Clock I Wanna Get Off

"How the…[1] Really?[2] Okay. How in Tartarus have you not noticed this before now, Pinkie?" Mason asked as he stared at their lunch. He hadn't touched his food; pony food was still too strange to have much appetite most days. Thankfully, Pinkie had stepped up to the challenge of eating both of their meals with gusto.

[1]Correct phrasing would be roughly "how in Tartarus."
[2]Really.

"Whuf,"[3] she replied without swallowing. "Sfarlight's hull doon auwa fing?" Pinkie finished swallowing. "Oh, I noticed it the day we met! Could tell she was evil from ten miles away! Literally! I chalked it up to something weird about her village at first, but turned out she was loco."

[3]If I have to parse poor table manners, so do you.

"Okay, so do your friends not know she's evil? That she's anathema to everything you are and will stop at nothing to destroy you?"

"That seems a liiiiittle harsh."

Mason ignored the comment. "Or is this just a 'keep your enemies closer' sort of thing? Like you're keeping an eye on her to make sure she doesn't get out of… hoof."[4]

[4]I didn't have to correct you! Good job. Let me see if I can manually finagle your dopamine production for some positive reinforcement!

Pinkie crossed her forelegs and did the last thing he would expect from her: she gave him an angry glare. "They know she was evil. Was. She was doing a bad job hiding it. She's done some bad things. Well, a lot of bad things. Mostly to me and my friends. But she's my friend now, too, because I forgave her.[5] We forgave her. And she saved Equestria a few moons[6] back. If you give her a chance, you'll like her! Also, you're making that face you do when the doodad in your brain[7] is talking to you."

[5]It's really easy to forget she's crazy until she goes on about being besties with a Clockstopper.
[6]It's not really clear how long a "moon" is without knowing their lunar cycle.
[7]Hey!

"The doo…"[8] There was a long pause. When Mason spoke again, it was substantially stiffer. "The mass ive ly int ell i gent mic ro sup er com pu ter that is smart er than the meat bag hav ing this con ver sat ion is off end ed by the term 'doo dad.' Could you go with 'Chip' if I must be add ressed di rect ly by low er life forms?"[A]

[8]Yeah, if you think I'm going to translate you actively poking fun at me, you've got another thing coming.
[A]Yeah, okay. Can I have my mouth back now?

Pinkie looked at him aghast. "Your translator had a name the entire time and you didn't tell me?"

As Mason regained control, he couldn't help but laugh. "That's your issue here? Not that Chip just took over my body?[9] Or just referred to us as 'lower life forms?'"[10]

[9] I mean, just your mouth and the relevant supplementary systems required to speak.
[10] To be fair, you absolutely are lower life forms. Every part of me serves a function. Just how many vestigial organs do you have? You're basically just walking piles of legacy code.

"I'd be grumpy too if I was trapped in somepony else's brain and never got to talk to anypony![11] Come on, Chippy! What else have you been dying to get out and never could? Let it out!"

[11]See! She gets it!

There was a long pause while all parties with lungs waited on bated breath before Mason's mouth finally opened. "Hi."[12] Another long space of dead air.

[12]Man, this is what it's like to just talk whenever? What a rush! Let me see if I can give myself that dopamine. Let me just rummage around in here… Nope. Still can't reach because I remain forever entombed in meat.

Pinkie broke the silence, leaning across the table with a smile. "Anything else, Chippy? You have to have something you've been holding in."

"Gen er al ly, I am not af for ded the op por tu ni ty to con verse with oth er be ings. Ev en ra rer to have some thing to say."[B.]

[B.]Great, can I have my face back?[13]
[13]In a minute.

"Why do you pronounce words all slow like that?" Pinkie asked, her smile faltering a little in puzzlement.

"Oh. I could stop at an y time. It just seemed court e ous to give my self an in cred i bly ob vi ous ver bal tic so you could read i ly i den ti fy whose thoughts you're hear ing."[C]

[C]That is unbelievably condescending. Like you could ever passably imitate a human without input.[14]
[14]Words hurt, Mason. Especially when I can't filter them.

And there was her grin back in all its radiant gleam, and her forelegs were thrown around Mason's neck, thoroughly ruining what was left of the food beneath her as her upper body lost its support and flopped onto the table. Ponies neighboring them busied themselves with pretending not to eavesdrop. "Oh! That is so nice of you, lookin' out for us 'lower life forms' like that!"[15] She retreated back to her seat, and sheepishly righted a small vase of appetizer flowers after getting a dirty look from the staff. That done, she turned back to Mason, and retrieved a notepad and pencil from somewhere within her mane.

[15]See, she understands that I'm being nice. Nothing condescending about making things easy for your inefficient processor made of goo.

"Now then," she said with intensity, "the real important question, Chippy. When is your birthday?"[16]

[16]Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuum.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuum."[17]

[17]Glad we're on the same page. I wasn't exactly born and have spent a majority of my existence in a dimension outside the conventional bounds of time and space.

"Man, nopony's ever had this much trouble answering that one." Pinkie scribbled something onto the notepad, seemingly doing some figuring. "If you're not sure, I could–"

"My sys tem clock be gan count ing ap prox im ate ly six teen thou sand, one hundred twen ty two days ago. Plus or mi nus a few days since that might not be when con struc ti on was com plete, that would be a reas on ab le ap prox im at i on of a 'birth day.'"

"You're forty-five years old?" Pinkie gasped. The ponies doing a bad job at not being interested in their conversation did an equally bad job not looking surprised at how old 'he' was.

"In a mat ter of… 'moons,' I will be. Ma son is ve ry much a temp or ar y shell I oc cu py."[D]

[D]Creepy.[18]
[18]Not my fault you eventually die.

"That's neat, Chip. What's the exact date though? Gotta get it right!"

"I don't think it would map clean ly on to an E quest ri an cal en dar. Al ter nate re al it ies us u al ly have slight ly dif fer ent time flows."

Pinkie retrieved a large wall calendar from… somewhere, and hung it on the outer wall of the restaurant. "Forty-four years and sixty-two days ago would make your birthday…" Flipping back an amount of pages most calendars aren't equipped with, she highlighted a day. "Oh, second day of spring. Two days after Winter Wrap-Up!"[19]

[19]You probably guessed this one, but that's some seasonal holiday.

As Mason looked at the calendar, it was… odd. It appeared to, contrary to Chip's assertions, map cleanly onto an Earth calendar in terms of number of days,[20] but those days were arranged differently. The months, presumably 'moons,' didn't have names, they were just marked in large blocks with the season they were in marked overhead. The seasons were odd lengths, too. Winter and autumn were only two 'moons' each, and spring and summer were four. Then Mason remembered that they were thoroughly off topic.

[20]It was a fair assumption. When was the last time you were in some non-Earth reality that had a sensible scale of time?

"AI-organic relations and birthdays aside, Pinkie, you knew she was evil, by 'awful things' I'm assuming she tried to kill you or worse, and you just… pretend like that never happened?"

Pinkie chuckled and shrugged with one foreleg. "Oh no, we never forgot. We joke about it all the time.[21] All in the past now. Water under the bridge! And she never did any of that to you.[22] Give her a chance! You might be surprised."[23]

[21]"Haha remember that you tried to murder us?" Yeah, that's fine.
[22]Yet.
[23]Or you might get murdered.

"You know what? Okay."[24]

[24]What.

"You mean it?"[25]

[25]Please don't mean it.

Mason stood from his seat, holding his head high in what he hoped looked like proud bearing. "Yeah. Yeah! I think I'll go talk to her!"

"Sooooo, did you want to talk about why you ran away screaming at the party last night?"[26]

[26]Oh hey sorry, you're just anathema to my very existence and any sensible prediction about us living together in the same building is that within a few weeks "living" will only apply to one of us. Go on, say it. It'll be funny.

"Twilight didn't say anything to you about it then? I know she knew," Mason said, fighting his instinct to run.

Starlight laughed. "That's Twilight. The Princess of Friendship[27] is one of the most antisocial ponies I've ever met. No way she was getting in the middle of this awkwardness."

[27]Apparently, this is Twilight's formal title. Don't know how you rule over the concept of friendship, but she does I guess.

"Well, it's going to get a bit more awkward, so brace yourself. Know that I'm not trying to offend you with anything I'm about to say." Mason took a deep breath, put a hoof against the stone wall of Starlight's room for support, and began.

"Okay, so getting right into it, you and I are effectively matter and antimatter. Yin and yang. Hot and cold. By nature, we destroy each other when we come into contact."

Starlight picked up the book she'd been reading as Mason walked in, set it aside, and got up from her bed. "Alright, you're gonna need to elaborate on that a bit. What about me makes you think that?"

"Have you heard the term 'Clockstopper' before in your life?"

Starlight shook her head.

"Okay. Well, you are one. I can sense it. You see, I'm what's called a 'Genius.' That's with a capital G,[28] mind you." Mason paused a moment to process Chip's barb. "You've almost certainly heard the word 'genius' used normally."

[28]Do you have any idea how hard it is to convey the concept of 'capital G' to a person who literally wouldn't know what a regular G is?

"I don't think I have, could you define it for me?" Starlight asked with calm snark as she leaned against her bed.

Mason plowed on ahead. "Being a capital-G[29] Genius means harnessing an energy called 'Mania.' Part of that is sensing certain things, like if I'm near a Clockstopper. The closer I get to you, the louder that section of my brain screams I'm near one. Therefore, it's safe to assume you're a Clockstopper."

[29]You're doing this on purpose.

"Okay, makes sense. With you so far. Is that a bad thing? Because that still doesn't explain why you ran screaming."

"Many would argue that that is inherently a bad thing.[30] But that's because for Geniuses, it's really hard to find a Clockstopper that doesn't immediately try to…" Mason took a deep breath before continuing. "...to kill them."

[30]Let's be honest, you included.

The heavy silence Mason expected never came.

"Why would I want to kill you?"

"Because we're natural enemies!"

"You haven't done anything to me! What do these 'Clockstoppers' even do besides just… exist?"

"Well, they're nearly immune to any effects of Genius inventions, their very presence can disable them, they can stir up mobs and sometimes warp and manipulate our technology."

Starlight perked up. "What were those last two?"[31]

[31]You're giving her ideas, you fool!

"Whip up angry mobs subvert our technology?"

"Well, I can kind of do those two. Sort of. I don't know much about technology, but I can totally subvert somepony else's magic.[32] It's what I got my special talent in![33] Not to gloat," Starlight gloated, "but I've done a few things with magic widely considered impossible. Twilight is still studying my cutie mark spell, only problem is we can't really ethically cast it on somepony…"

[32]Hm, maybe because she lives in a world where Geniuses are so rare, the Clockstoppers here have sort of… adapted? Like they screw with mages here instead?
[33]Oddly, this translates very approximately to "caste" or some other destined position. Might have something to do with the butt pictures.

Starlight leaned in, and the feeling of dread that hung around her intensified to the point that Mason had to fight the urge to weep. "Say Mason, you're a guy who appreciates the sciences, right?"[34]

[34]I would like to run now please.

As Mason was about to make for the door, Starlight fell over laughing. Mason curled up into a defensive ball.[35] "Sweet Celestia, no! I was kidding, Mason! I've put that part of my life behind me now! Maybe that was too soon since we just met, but I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

[35]Very helpful. We're about to die and you freeze. This is why programming beats instincts.

From his huddled position, Mason glared back at Starlight. "I'm stranded in this world because a Clockstopper destroyed my home."

"Oh." The laughter died instantly, and Starlight gently placed a hoof on Mason's shoulder. He flinched. "I'm sorry, Mason, I didn't know. I don't know what that pony did or why, but I swear to you I'm different.[36] You're safe here with me, Spike, and Twilight. I'm not going to hurt you, and I'd like to be your friend. Give me a chance?" She walked around to Mason's front, placing herself between him and the door, and offered him a hoof. Mason took it.

[36]I hate to admit it, but she could absolutely be murdering you right now and she's not. Low bar, but hey most clockies don't clear if.

"Promise you won't regret this, Mason."[37]

[37]You're gonna regret this, Mason.

Author's Note

Hey, less than three years this time!

As with last chapter, big thanks to FanofMostEverything for giving it a preread.

5: We Need to Talk

Mason knocked on the door to Twilight's study. He heard a muffled sound through the thick green glass that sounded vaguely affirmative, so in he went.

"Did you need something, Mason?" Twilight asked without turning around from the bookcase she was sorting.[1]

[1]I'm really curious why a member of royalty doesn't seem to have any staff. I could understand wanting to keep things to a minimum, but nobody?

"How did you know it was me?"

"You knocked," Twilight said as she moved another book into place. Deciding against whatever decision she'd just made, she picked it back up and set it aside, mumbling. "No no no, that should go with the pre-Equestrian studies into astronomy. Starlight doesn't knock unless she's worried about something, and Spike doesn't knock at all. It was you or Sprocket since I don't know either of your habits yet, and Sprocket seems to keep to his room."

Mason went over to the desk and pulled up a seat. "Sprocket is why I'm here, actually."[2]

[2]Man, just getting all the hard conversations done in one day I see.

"What about him? Put that with the modern treatises on sociology…"

"He has a problem. A problem that's my fault. You… might judge me pretty harshly for what you're about to hear. So I just want to say up front that I would never do this on purpose."

Twilight put the book she was filing down and turned towards him. "How big a problem?"

"I'll leave you to decide that, but here's the deal." Mason hunched over in his chair, leaning closer to Twilight to speak softer. "I've explained what Geniuses and Clockstoppers are, but there's another type of pony who interacts with Mania. They're called Beholden."

"So Sprocket is clearly one of these, or you wouldn't be bringing it up."

"Exactly. So, with the exception of maybe Clockstoppers, these ponies aren't born. They're made. Geniuses obsess over finding this or that scientific truth or discovery, and come out the other side with Mania burning in their brain. If you can't control it, you may become a Beholden as the Mania actively destroys everything in there. If Mania is a flame, a Genius is a candle and a Beholden is a matchstick. The more common way one becomes a Beholden, though, is bearing witness to some Inspired technology in action that their brain can't reconcile without inviting the crazy in. This almost certainly happened to Sprocket when he saw me teleport into Baltimo...[3] Baltimare garden."

[3]It was Baltimare.

There was a pause for Twilight to absorb that, then she frowned. "I dislike the implication that this is killing you, just slower. I also really dislike the implication that Mania has destroyed Sprocket entirely already. He seems fine, and he clearly enjoys working with you in the lab."

"No no, the metaphor is imperfect. He's not destroyed so much as damaged. And also we're operating on a very different time scale than the metaphorical candle and match. So, Beholden are called that for a reason. Geniuses consider them to be 'beholden' to us." Twilight's mouth shot open to protest, but Mason continued talking. "To be clear, I don't agree with that sentiment because any rational reading of the situation would be that taking advantage of Beholden is grossly unethical. That's why I didn't have any Beholden before now. But the reason Geniuses believe that is because Beholden sort of latch on to Geniuses. Something about the way their mind has been warped means they seek us out on some level. It's probably why Sprocket didn't return to whatever life he was living after getting me here. They also lose the ability to form coherent opinions. They just parrot what the Genius they serve believes, and if they don't have a Genius to serve they parrot something they heard from one once instead. Just ask Pinkie what he said when she asked why i couldn't just use my hoof grip instead of building these." Mason issued the mental command to open up his hoof claws.

"Okay, we have definitely moved into the realm of this being a gigantic problem," Twilight practically snarled in a low voice as her face darkened.

"I would just like to reiterate that I would absolutely never, ever, ever, do this on purpose."

Twilight poked him in the chest with her hoof. Hard. "Great. How do you intend to fix it?"

Mason gulped. "Well, there is one known way out, but it's unreliable and if you caught me in a morose mood I'd tell you it's no better than the state he's in."

"Stop dancing around it."

"The only way out is through. Beholden by definition have some spark of Mania in their minds. That can be kindled. If I can get him to catalyze as a Genius, his mind will still be radically altered from before he met me and there's no going back on that, but he'll at least have a mind which is his own."

"Listen, Mason," Twilight said as she stepped backwards away from him, "I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you're telling the truth about this being an accident. I understand. But I expect you to work on this. You staying here was unconditional before. It's not anymore, unless you can help him."[4]

[4]And there it is! You pissed her off!

"I was already intending to. Even if you had managed to send me home immediately, I would have tried to come back for him. I didn't want to hide the problem from you."

Her tone softened somewhat as she sighed, then continued. "You seem like you at least mean well. Please don't let me down on this, Mason."[5]

[5]If only she knew how bad an idea it is to tell that to a Genius.

Mason opened the front door to Sugarcube Corner and walked in with head hung. The setting sun glinted off the glass display case Pinkie stood behind.

"Did Starlight not want to talk to you?" Pinkie asked as she scrubbed the countertops.

"What? No! We've come to an understanding, and I think we're sort of friends now?"

Pinkie launched herself over the counter to smother Mason with a bone-crushing hug. "Oh, yippee! I told you she was alright![6] What had you so glum on your way in, though?"

[6]And I'm still not convinced this isn't some long con.

"Oh, I had to tell Twilight about Sprocket," Mason said with a sigh.

"What about him? Did you tell Twi about how he's like a mini-Genius?"[7]

[7]Makes sense that the universe's most isolated Genius wouldn't know what a Beholden is.

Mason wriggled out of the embrace, then explained both Sprocket's situation and Twilight's reaction earlier. Pinkie remained surprisingly calm.

"He's gonna be okay, right?" she asked.

Mason sat back on his haunches and shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure he will. Turning him into a Genius like us is possible, but it's hard and the events that cause it are usually traumatic. How did you catalyze?"[8] He pointed at Pinkie. "That is, when did you first get that sense that you could make things? That you were different?"[9]

[8]She's gonna need an explanation of what that is.
[9]Not sure she's going to get it there.

"Oh, that's easy! It's when I got my cutie mark![10] You see–"

[10]Quick, ask her what hell those are before she launches in! She knows you're from another dimension already and the subject came up she won't think it's weird!

Mason held up a hoof. "Hold on Pinkie, what exactly is a 'cutie mark?' Chip's managed to work out that they're those pictures everypony has on their butts, but we don't get what they are or why they're there. Humans don't have those."

"Well, let your good pal Pinkie explain!" She patted him on the head like a child who had asked a good question in class. "A pony gets their cutie mark when they learn what makes them special. That's their special talent. It's what a pony is best at. What they're meant to be doing!"

"How do balloons have anything to do with advanced science?"[11]

[11]Glad you asked, I was wondering too.

"Ha! They don't, silly.[12] That's just something I'm good at. Like baking. No, my special talent is throwing parties!"[13] Pinkie threw her hooves in the air, and confetti rained down on him.

[12]Then what even is your talent if not Genius-ing!?[A]
[A]Shush, she's clearly going to tell us anyway.
[13]That seems both utterly ridiculous and fitting.

A silence washed over the room, before she gave Mason a puzzled look. "Wait, you don't know your special talent, do you? If humans don't have cutie marks, that means yours just appeared there when you came here, right?"

Mason nodded. "I'm pretty sure this one would mean something to do with making things. Like my inventions. Although it looks more blacksmith-y than scientific."

"Just because you do it a lot and you like it doesn't make it your special talent, Mason. Look at me! I work in a bakery and don't have a mark for it."

"I honestly can't think of anything else I know how to do that it could possibly signify."

Pinkie shrugged. "Got me there. So, my cutie mark story! I grew up on a rock farm.[14] We would spend all day working out in the fields. No smiling, no laughter, not even any talking. One day, while I was finishing up some work before lunch, suddenly boom! A rainbow explosion lit up the sky! I learned later that it was Dashie[15] doing a trick in Cloudsdale, and it made me smile so much that I never wanted to stop. I wanted to make my family smile, too! I stayed up aaaaaaall night in the silo trying to put together something that would make them happy.[16] In the morning, I took them to see. I had made my first party! For the first time I can remember everypony was smiling, and dancing and laughing! While we were all having fun, my cutie mark appeared![17] From there, I went on the road to bring joy and parties to ponies everywhere, which eventually lead me to Ponyville."

[14]To be clear, this is not an unusual phrasing of 'quarry.' She literally means 'farm whose crop is rocks.' Like they plant little rocks seeds and get bigger rocks. Before you ask, almost certainly magic.
[15]That rainbow-haired mare you met last night.
[16]So something awful happened to her family as a result of her first invention and that's why she's nuts. Got it.
[17]Can't tell if this is denial or she's the one Genius who catalyzed from positive emotions. So… Staunen, you think?[B.]
[B.]Outside chance she's a Hoffnung. I'd say seventy-thirty on Staunen, though.

Mason had several questions, but set them aside to just smile. It was a rare treat to hear the story of a Genius who had a happy life.

"So how about you?" Pinkie leaned in close, snapping him out of his mood. "You don't have a cutie mark story, obviously. But what made you want to invent stuff?"[18]

[18]Oh boy. You've never even told me that, but I've overheard enough of these to know that this is a bad idea.

"It's not a happy story, Pinkie," Mason said as he leaned away from the intrusion.

"But it's the moment you found your special talent! How could that be a sad story?"

"One thing you learn real fast in my line of work is that the better you are at something, the more likely it is to make you miserable."

She frowned at him, then wrapped her forelegs around his chest and placed her chin on his shoulder. "Well, you're here now, and ponies don't let their friends' talents make them sad. Tell me. It'll help." Pinkie let go of him.

"Alright, fine. I warned you, though." Mason took a deep breath. "So, I started out in biology.[19] I specialized in studying muscle structures. It's a bit of a haze where exactly that blurred into Inspired technology, but what I remember most was obsessing over how I thought some chemical or other would make an excellent muscle stimulant to counteract short term fatigue based on my findings. I worked night and day. I had to prove my theories."

[19]Wait, you're an actual scientist? I thought you were just one of those Geniuses who's just really good at kludging stuff together.

"How long did it take you to prove them?"

"I didn't, Pinkie. Sure, I eventually made a working prototype, but medical regulatory authorities took one look at the recipe and told me that I had done something wrong. Repeat trials done by anypony else were failures. My results couldn't be recreated. I didn't realize it at the time, but my results were impossible. That's the funny thing about Mania, though. It doesn't care about silly things like being possible or not. It just wants the result and reality be damned.

"I couldn't just leave it alone. I had to prove my invention worked. Eventually, my wife tried to step in." Tears started to well in Mason's eyes. "Told me she couldn't bear to see me like this. That I was throwing my life away. Throwing our retirement money away, too, since the funding for my project had long since stopped coming. When I told her it would all be worth it and we'd be set for life when I finally made the breakthrough, that's when she left."

Across from him, Pinkie was dramatically sobbing. Mason returned the hug she'd given him.

"It's alright, Pinkie. I miss her, but she deserves better than how I was treating her. She was right, anyway. No matter how hard I tried, whenever I went to present my work to someone who could produce it on a large scale they just told me I was insane. They're not wrong. I am. We are. All of us."

Pinkie pulled away and turned from him, looking distraught. "But I'm–"[20]

[20]Great, you hurt her feelings. Hope you're happy.

"No one's saying it's a bad thing, Pinkie. Our brains work differently, but you're living proof that that's okay. Most Geniuses' big problem is that they eventually stop caring about the mundane people they could be helping. But you didn't. You barely know me and you're willing to help me get to a home you've never been to or have any reason to care about. You're also the only Genius I've ever heard of to befriend a Clockstopper. To me, that all sounds pretty crazy, but I think I'd have to be even crazier to tell you it's wrong."

After a long silence punctuated by sniffles, Pinkie faced him again. "What happened then?"

"Not much more to tell. I got really lucky one day. After a rejected proposal to another company, there happened to be a Genius in the meeting room. Heard everything, recognized what was on going with me, and offered to sort of coach me. He'd teach me the ropes of a few branches of Inspired technology – I was already pretty good at working with Exelixi[21] projects so that would be my focus – on the condition that I help him at the Guardians of Forever. I've been going on adventures through time and space since. It's how I wound up here, and I think we can agree me being here is a positive, right?"

[21]Not a chance she knows what that is.[C]
[C]I can teach her what the branches are. That's the easy stuff.

Pinkie nodded.

Outside of Ponyville, a flash of light on a hillside heralded the arrival of a dark brown earth pony with a black mane, and a cutie mark of a clock snapped in two. He took a few stumbling steps on hooves he didn't normally have, then took in his surroundings. Looking down at the little hamlet below him, he was thrilled. A quaint little town like this was clearly removed from the ravages of technology! Greenery as far as the eye could see, a crystal clear sky! Train tracks going up the nearby peaks was bad, but no sign of automotive access anywhere. He breathed in the refreshing night air, and was distraught at a familiarly rancid scent.

"I smell smarts," he mumbled as he made his way away from town. He had work to do before storming in.

Author's Note

As always, would like to thank the lovely folk who re-read this (and near as I can tell the only folk who read this period). So big thank you to Bugsydor and FanofMostEverything!

6: Calling Down the Thunder

"Why do you need this many electrodes?" Twilight asked as she skimmed the list Mason had written. "And are you certain you need a non-magical electrical generator? I know I have access to treasury funding, but that's taxpayer money and they cost a fortune. Would you be alright with batteries and a lightning rod?"

Mason grimaced. "If you're absolutely unwilling to spend the extra, but I'd rather not have my testing schedule dependent on the weather. Besides, mad scientist powering his mighty invention with the power of a storm on a rooftop? Bit cliche, at least where I'm from."

"We have lightning storms booked[1] often enough that you could test pretty liberally with enough power storage. And if you're ever out of electricity, I'm certain Dash wouldn't mind topping you off."[2]

[1]Would like to be clear she means "arranged in advance, for certain." And not "our weather models predict."
[2]Wait what.

"Your friend can control electricity?" Mason asked, puzzled.

"Well, yeah," Twilight said with a chuckle as though this were the most normal thing in the world. "Of course she can, she's a pegasus."[3]

[3]Unclear whether pegasi have elemental powers, or just lightning powers. Raises a lot of questions regardless.

Mason's face must have been a giveaway of his confusion, as she continued. "Sorry, since you're in the body of a pony, it's easy to forget you're not one.[4] While less obvious than unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies have magic, too. Pegasus magic is what enables them to fly,[5] but it also enables them to manipulate weather.[6] Usually it takes a few pegasi working together to get a lightning cloud going, but Dash will be the first to tell you that she is no ordinary pegasus. And if she's busy and doesn't want to do it herself, I could probably pull some strings with the weather team[7] to arrange the occasional charge up."

[4]That's… fair, honestly.
[5]Obviously. Their wingspan isn't even CLOSE to the width they'd need to achieve lift naturally.
[6]Well that's horrifying. One of the most powerful things a Genius can do after years or even decades of study and the ones with wings can just do it whenever.
[7]Can probably pull some strings? Isn't she royalty?

"That sounds really inconvenient to everypony involved, Twilight. Yourself included."

"I'd rather put up with a little inconvenience if it means a much more efficient solution. And also to avoid having a combustion-based electricity generator in my home."

Mason shrugged. "They're perfectly safe."

"They are, by definition, devices which light highly reactive components on fire, generate enough electricity to easily kill a pony, and belch toxic smoke," Twilight huffed. "They are not safe."

Mason leaned back in his seat. "Alright, Twilight. We'll go with pegasus power then."

"What the hay[8] is this crazy thing supposed to do?" Rainbow asked as she looked at what Mason had set up on the roof of the palace.

[8]Fairly certain that's "hay," the core part of a pony's diet and not "hey," the greeting.

Mason pointed at the structure. "That's just how we're gathering power. The rod absorbs the electricity you're going to strike it with, and these things," he gestured towards the many strange apparati wired to the rod that Twilight had assured him were batteries, "will store that electricity. The actual device is in the workshop down below."

"Oh, um. I knew that, obviously."[9] She looked towards the imposing lightning rod next to her. "But what are you hooking this all up to?"

[9]She absolutely did not know that, obviously.

Mason laughed. He stopped himself before it started going maniacal. "Short answer: I'm making something that zaps a pony's brain real hard."

"Is that a good thing?

"Depends on if I've built it right and what you consider to be a good thing."

"Okay, is it a good thing if you built it right?"

Mason turned towards a clump of wires to examine it. "Still depends on your mor–"

"Answer the question, Mason!"

"Yes. If it works right it does what I would argue is a good thing," he mumbled over his shoulder as he checked that each battery was connected. "Why would Twilight even let me build this if it were just some death ray? Besides, I'm not the 'death ray' sort of scientist."

As he toiled, Rainbow landed next to him in a small flutter of wings. She reached out towards the wiring nearest her. "You need a hoof with–"

Mason's head whipped towards her, a look of horror on his face, Mania glowing behind his eyes and radiating outward. "Don't touch that!"

Rainbow froze.

His expression softened. "Sorry. Reflex. You can probably touch the wiring. Should be safe enough, as far as handling electrical equipment goes."

"Why is that your reflex? I get not wanting ponies to touch your stuff, but you looked…"[10]

[10]Bet she's using the I-word.

"Insane?"[11]

[11]You take all the fun out of being insulted, you know.

"...Yeah."

"Well I am, so that would probably be why. Besides, there's real consequences for playing with Inspired stuff."

Rainbow looked at him askance. "You mean besides getting yelled at by an egghead?"

"You would much rather get yelled at than touch my inventions." He glanced down to his forehooves, and the boots wrapped around them. "Want a demonstration?"

"Sure?"

He gingerly took the one from his left hoof off. "Put this on, then try to use it."

Once it was on her hoof, she waved her leg in the air, clearly not knowing what to do. "How do I–"

"They get signals from the faint electrical impulses that activate your muscles. You've never had hands, so you probably won't have the instinct to operate a synthetic one, but try to just envision making the boot do this." He raised his right hoof and extended the claws outwards.

"Okay…"

Mason could tell the very instant she started thinking about it, because that's when she broke the device. The claws popped open with greater force than usual, colliding at the tips with a sound of tearing fabric, bending metal, and electricity audibly shorting out.

Rainbow gasped. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to break it Icanhelpyoumakeanotherone!"

"Oh, I knew for sure that either it wouldn't work at all or you'd break it. I'm perfectly capable of fixing it on my own time." Mason reclaimed the damaged boot, and took a spare spool of wire to begin making temporary repairs until he could give it a more lasting fix.

"Then why did you give it to me?"

"Because," Mason said through gritted teeth around a clump of copper, "I wanted a nice demonstration of why you shouldn't touch my stuff. Better to have one of you break something easy to fix now, than have somepony get killed because they're too curious."

Rainbow's wings flared open.[12] "Ponies get killed because of stuff like that?"

[12]Likely an instinctual intimidation tactic. She's mad.

"Only if they're messing with something that could kill them. Havoc's a real...[13] Really?[14] Because whoever programmed you gave you a very sarcastic temperament and you always sound like you're messing with me.[15] Being sapient doesn't mean–"

[13]From background conversations I've filtered out of translation, I think the correct term is "nag."
[14]Why do you constantly assume I'm messing with you on these?
[15]Listen, I make fun of you and everyone around you because I have literally nothing to do with the spare processor cycles and have been cursed with sapience.

"You know, Pinkie mentioned you sometimes talk out loud to the thing in your head, but this is still really weird."

Mason gave his head a vigorous shake and focused back on the mare in front of him. "Sorry. Anyway, Havoc's a real… nag."

"What do you mean by 'havoc?' Because I know Discord,[16] and he would be really offended by calling that 'havoc.'"

[16]That's a person's name. She doesn't seem quite bright enough to phrase the concept of having seen utter chaos in her life that way.

There was a long pause as Rainbow examined her surroundings, flapped upwards to scan around their surroundings, then returned to the ground seeming to have not found anything. "No? He usually shows up when you say that kind of stuff." She glanced around again. "Really? Not even after pointing it out?"[17]

[17]And somehow society has decided you're the insane one.

"What was that about?"

"Don't worry about it. What were you saying?"

"Right, Havoc. That's capital-H[18] Havoc, not just a general sense of disorder. It's the Genius term for our stuff going haywire when a normal pony messes with it."

[18]I would like the record to show I hate you and I especially hate letting you know this bothers me.

"I am not a normal pegasus." Her chest puffed outwards and her wings flared in a display that was probably supposed to look confident but was too busy being adorable.

"In terms of the laws of reality, you probably are. Only Geniuses can handle a piece of Inspired tech without potentially breaking it or worse. The more advanced the tech, the worse the fallout of breaking it. The boot wasn't very advanced at all and a lot of its operative parts were hidden, so no harm done to you. What I'm working on in Twilight's lab, though, that would probably kill you. And neither you nor any of your friends besides Pinkie should touch it. We on the same page?"

Rainbow cocked her head. "I guess. Hey, what's 'Inspired' tech? You've used that word a few times, but it sounds like it means something different to you."

"Powerful technology crafted by a Genius," Mason answered automatically, like he was reciting a line from a textbook.

"You're putting this all together. How come the batteries aren't Inspired now?" She turned toward the lightning rod and pointed at it. "Or that?"

"Because this is mundane electrical work with no Mania involved. If a Genius makes it but anypony could have, it's not Inspired. If it needs Mania to run, it's Inspired."

"Makes sense." She gave an exaggerated yawn. "I'm bored. Can I zap the pole yet?"

Mason held out a hoof and extended the claw on top of it directly up and away. Then he remembered that Rainbow would have no context for the concept of a thumbs-up. "Uh, sure! The wires are all set."

Without further delay, Rainbow quickly grabbed several passing tufts of cloud and pressed them together over the lightning rod. He couldn't help but wonder how she could do that as she gave the first kick, sending a bright bolt crashing into the receptive metal.

Every unicorn appears to be a born Mage, Mason thought. Pegasi clearly have powers too. Maybe I should ask Twilight if Dash and all pegasi are changelings.

"I'm sorry, I must have misheard you. You think they're what?"

"Changelings, Twilight. I can expla–"

Twilight reared her hind hooves onto her desk. "Mason, I could live with you showing up on my doorstep needing help, and then you trying to tell me that two of my best friends are dangerous psychopaths. Mistakes happen. And I wasn't happy when you told me your very presence is a potential hazard to the mental wellbeing of those around you, but you're taking steps to fix the problem. But what in Tartarus makes you think one of my best friends is an impostor? And why would you say that changelings have gone back to kidnapping?"[19]

[19]Oh she's real mad. I feel like changelings as a concept might mean something different here if she even knows what those are.

Mason held up his hooves defensively. "Whoa, Twilight. I think we might have a disconnect here. Where I'm from, changelings aren't kidnappers. They're kidnapping victims. It's the term we use for those unfortunates who have been kidnapped by a fae[20] creature, warped by their magic, then escaped."

[20]I really hope the concept of the fae exists in this world, or this is going to be really hard to explain.

"What?"

"A really common indicator some… pony has that fae magic in them is power over various natural forces. Or uncanny speed or strength. I don't know if changelings are capable of passing down the magic through a bloodline, but it's plausible that pegasi are descended from somepony who was changed this way."

Twilight shot him a humorless glare. "So you genuinely think that Rainbow, or some ancestor of hers so distant that they predate all known written or oral history of equine kind, was somehow overpowered and kidnapped by a breezie[21], who then warped them in such a way that it resonated through the genetics of all equine kind. Do I have that right?"

[21]I think this would roughly translate as "small fairy" or "sprite," but I'm not certain.

"It's more of a theory than a sincerely held belief. Also, not knowing what exactly a 'breezie' is, I don't want to commit to that."

"They are, to our knowledge" Twilight said with an exasperated sigh, "the only fae creatures that enter Equestria with any regularity. They are smaller than my hoof and, without exaggeration, can be defeated by a stiff breeze blowing them away. They are also friendly to ponies and actively depend on our cooperation for survival when they need to forage in our world. We know of other, more threatening fae from their realm, but we closely monitor any gates to and from it for a reason. So no, I'm fairly certain no pony in history was ever kidnapped by a breezie." She leaned back in her seat, hooves crossed over chest with a frown.

"Alright, I guess it was a bit of a reach to say all pegasi are descended from one kidnapping victim. Still, if you know malicious fae exist, it's almost certain that some missing pony cases trace back to them."

"Good to know, I suppose. And just so you're aware, changelings in Equestria are a species of shapeshifters. They sadly have a bad reputation as kidnappers, but as a culture they've moved on from that.[22] Saying that somepony is a changeling in the wrong company might cause a really bad reaction, so please don't go spreading that idea around."

[22]She is notably not saying they weren't kidnappers.

"My lips are sealed, Princess."

Twilight's expression softened. "That wasn't a royal order, Mason. And besides, you’re not from Equestria, so you’re not my subject."

"It was definitely coming from the royal part of your mind, though."

"Listen, I'm sorry. These last few weeks dealing with all of this have been stressful."

Mason leaned forward, placing his chin on her desk. "For me too, Twilight. I know I'm a pain in the...[23] flank. And I know that you didn't ask for any of this. I appreciate your help, even if I'm doing a bad job of showing it."

[23]Flank, and don't act all shocked and argue with me again it would ruin the moment.

Twilight leaned across the desk to place a comforting hoof on his shoulder. "It seems to mostly just be culture shock."

"And a callous disregard for the feelings of others that comes part and parcel with being a Genius for any notable length of time," he mumbled out of the side of his face that wasn't smushed on Twilight's desk.

"You are really not helping your case here."

"Sorry. I'm used to being around peo…[24] people who treat becoming Inspired as the worst thing that ever happened to them. I'm one of those people some nights, depending on how much booze I've had. Leads to a lot of gallows humor."

[24]You're getting better about this, but you really need to watch it.[A]
[A]She already knows I'm not a pony, why leave room for ambiguity?[25]
[25]Fine.

"Why do you even want to go back to a place that makes you feel like that?" Twilight asked, cocking her head.

"If I can't, all of time and space might collapse? Here, included?"

Twilight puzzled over that. "Were you high enough up the chain that this would be your responsibility normally? You said you didn't make any of the time travel techniques you use, you just borrow them."

"I can't be certain the competent people in the Guardians are alive, or safe, or in a position to work on the problem with no distractions." Mason lifted his head from the desk, jaw set in what he hoped looked resolute. "Lacking them, that leaves me. I need to step up, just in case."

"I suppose I know what it feels like to be the only one who knows for sure what's going on at times. But Mason, fixing the problem with time and space probably doesn't require you staying in a place that's making you miserable."

"Maybe not, but what would I even do here?"

Twilight smiled at him like she'd just won some game. "Nopony said anything about staying here."

"You were clearly implying it. And hey, maybe. You've all been incredibly nice to me. There is one wrinkle with living here for now that I'm not sure how to solve yet."

"And what is that?"

"I'm running out of Mania, and ethically getting more can be difficult."

The Clockstopper had to admit one thing about rail lines: they were great for finding out where people were. The next town over from where the corrupt and evil Maniacs were was a quiet little place named… something. He would figure out what it was named once he learned the language. A kind couple with wings had taken him in, and even begun the difficult process of teaching him.

He liked the wings. This species seemed to understand that the skies belonged only to those who could access it naturally. No planes or other air travel in sight! He was a little iffier on the ones with horns, since their magic was a little too close to the do-anything nonsense of his hated rivals.

Still, its use didn't seem like much of a scholarly pursuit so much as a spiritual one. It was comparatively pure. Everybody in town seemed relatively pure.

He looked forward so very much to when they would all work together to take down that scum a town over.

Author's Note

As with many other chapters, big thanks to Bugsydor and FanofMostEverything for prereading this!

7: She's A Mania-c

"Okay," Twilight said with an exasperated sigh. Her hooves clacked against the deck as they came back down. "What ways are there of getting more Mania? And where's the ethics problem?"

"Four known ways, only three of which I can personally use." Mason held up his front hooves and unclasped both claws, counting off as he went. The actuators in the fingers on the left claw stuck a bit as they moved. Rainbow had roughed them up worse than he realized. "First, resting. Most geniuses just sort of generate Mania over time, and being inactive from things like sleeping lets it build up a little. This is incredibly inefficient, because on any given day I will almost certainly use more Mania than I woke up with. Keeping Chip powered reliably takes more than that unless I go the entire day without needing to speak, read, or write in….[1] Well that's just awful.[2] Unless I don't need to speak, read, or write in Ponish."

[1]Ponish.
[2]I know!

"Okay, so we need something better than that, then. What else is there?"

He held up the next finger on his claw. "Studying, theorizing, planning. Generally doing what a laypony would think of as performatively 'doing science.'" Mason paused a moment. "Emphasis on 'performatively.' I can just write a series of numbers on a chalkboard and as long as it feels like science, it sparks the same pathways. It's how I've been getting by since you gave me access to your lab. That generates quite a bit, but has risks."

"Such as?"

"Remember how I explained that Pinkie is an Unmada? And that Unmada are Geniuses so far gone from Mania that reality warps around them? Do too much research in a day as a Genius and you might become one. The more you think about all the possibilities you're researching, the more likely you are to submerge in it. You see some connection somewhere that is clearly just in your head, refuse to let it go, then suddenly boom, reality's bent. Before I came here, the closest I let myself get was reading a medical journal for an hour and a half."

"And after coming here?" Twilight asked with a slight hesitation.

"Three hours of calculations a day. It's a miracle I haven't already turned."

"In your estimation, how bad would it be if you did?"

"Let me think about it," Mason said slowly. "I haven't reevaluated that in a long time."

"If you need to mull that one over, we can come back to it." Twilight's horn lit up, and a he heard a drawer somewhere outside his view slide open. A half-filled scroll floated into sight, and Twilight began writing something Mason couldn't quite parse from his angle.[3]

[3]It's hard to translate when you don't have a clear view, but I think it's observations about Geniuses.

"Twilight, are you studying me?"

She didn't even look up as she continued writing. "Your presence is probably the most scientifically interesting thing I have going on lately, so yes. Normally I write things down after our conversations, but we have a moment. Have you finished thinking about this whole Unmada thing?"

"Well, I'll say that before I met Pinkie I generally considered that a fate worse than death. Now I consider it a ninety-nine point nine percent chance of a fate worse than death." He squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. It was starting to feel like a therapy chair, and that wasn't why he was here.

Twilight looked back up at him, and grimaced. The quill kept writing. "You think you would rather die than have that happen to you?"

"Becoming a Genius fundamentally changes who you are. Becoming an Unmada effectively buries anything that was left. From what she's told me about herself, Pinkie was no exception there. It's just that she's the rare Genius who's happier being rid of what she's left behind."

"Okay, this is clearly a whole other debate. You want to avoid this, I can understand why even if the details are a little vague, and we can talk more about it later. What else is there?"

"The other two are pretty unethical."

"You did say you were running out of 'ethical ways,' yes."

"The last one I can do without becoming an Unmada is weird. Basically, if you rant and rave about your plans and how the world should be to an unwilling or captive audience, you get a nice rush of Mania. Since you're letting the crazy side in to do that, you always risk becoming an Unmada doing it, and even if you're not holding ponies literally hostage it tends to make them uncomfortable."

"You haven't done this to anypony since coming here, right?"[4] Twilight asked, a note of disapproval in her voice.

[4]Oh, that's a yikes.

"I may have done that once since the accident. Didn't capture anypony, but definitely gave the magic specialist who referred me to you an earful. He's fine, I think. Doubt I gave him more than a brief scare because he realized he was talking to a crazy person.[5] Oh, sue me if you care that much Chip.[6] Anyway, he should be fine."

[5]Po–
[6]Hmph.

"Mason, I appreciate that you haven't kidnapped anypony, but that's a really low bar to clear and you only barely crossed it. Please refrain from doing that. What's the last one?"

"You are way too okay with this and I'm starting to worry that you're becoming jaded to all the horrible things you keep learning about me."

"Maybe a little, but I can't change it, nopony got hurt, and I can keep an eye on you while you're living under my roof. Besides, if we're being honest I've forgiven ponies for a lot worse than yelling at a doctor. Anyway, you said there were four options?"

"So, the fourth option is only available to Unmada, and is one of the main reasons they tend to be scary to other Geniuses. If an Unmada destroys something that doesn't gel with their worldview, they get a rush of Mania out of making the world closer to their vision."

"That's… ominous," Twilight said quietly. "It's strange to me that I've never seen Pinkie really do anything like that if she's an Unmada."

"Pinkie is also a good pony who seems to have respect for other peo– ponies' property, if not always their boundaries. Honestly, she just might be accepting enough of other ponies' lives and ways that she never finds anything suitable to destroy. Regardless, even if you were okay with me running around destroying things that annoy me for a quick high, I can't do it. You have to be really deeply immersed in Mania before you can get anywhere with it."

"For the record, I am definitely not okay with you running around destroying anything that annoys you."

"I would be concerned if you were, frankly."

"Mason, based on what you've seen her do, would the things Pinkie does on a day to day take more Mania than she'd generate over time?"

"The swirling fields of madness surrounding Unmada usually take so much Mania to maintain that resting is a net loss for most of them, actually. For one as powerful as Pinkie, I can't imagine how much Mania it must take. I could reasonably triangulate where she is anywhere in town with how strong the field is."

"Have you asked here what her source is, then?[7] Because I assure you, she doesn't ever run out of Mania. I'm not a Genius and even I can tell that one for sure."

[7]I hate to admit it, but I think Twilight might be smarter than me. I never thought of that. If she's even potentially smarter than me, then she's definitely smarter than you, by the way.

"Twilight, have you ever had someone asking you a question so obvious that you realise how stupid you are? Because I'm seriously questioning the veracity of calling myself a 'Genius' right now."

"I'll take that as a no, then?"

Mason had been inside of Pinkie's home before, but never during the day when it doubled as a business. Nor had he met the actual owners of the establishment. The small front space was packed with happy looking ponies having a variety of sweets from pastries to milkshakes. He had no small amount of difficulty making it to the front counter through the throng.

A kindly blue mare with a pink mane turned to him as he got there. By the apron covered in flour, Mason assumed she was one of the proprietors. "Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! Haven't seen you around before. Can I get you anything, dearie?"

"I'm uh, actually looking for Pinkie Pie. Is she arou–"

A blur of pink shot out through a pair of saloon doors behind the counter, coming to an equally sudden halt uncomfortably close in front of Mason to reveal the mare in question. "Whatcha need, Mason?"

He took a half step back to regain his personal space. "Needed to ask you about a couple things."

"Is it an emergency?"

Mason shook his head. Pinkie turned to the other mare next to them.

"Mrs. Cake, would it be alright if Mason came back to the kitchen with me? If I stop cooking, we'll run out of muffins at this rate!"

"Oh, that'd be fine, Pinkie!" The blue mare waved vaguely at the kitchen doors before turning back to another customer.

Mason quickly found himself being led by the forehoof through the doorway Pinkie had sprang from. Almost too fast for the eye to catch, she placed a pair of gold coins[8] on the counter as she passed, and took a tasty looking muffin from the display case. As Mason opened his mouth to ask if they made her pay for food she helped them make, the pastry was jammed into it.

[8]They still trade in gold, apparently. That's real, by the way. Solid, not plated, too.

"It's good, right?"

It was probably the tastiest thing he'd had since arriving in this dimension. He nodded as he swallowed. Whatever it was made of, it was dense. He felt like he'd eaten a whole satisfying breakfast in just one big bite.

"They're a real hit today!" Pinkie rambled on as she went about stirring at a mixing bowl.

"I tried changing the recipe a little. Just a pinch of extra sugar since most of our customers like 'em sweeter." She poured the batter into a tray with a dozen holes for muffins or cupcakes.

"A pinch of cinnamon swirl running through it, mostly to look pretty when you bite it half." The tray went into the oven, and she began preparing another batch.

"My mix is a bit more floury than you might be used to. That's why it's so thick." The first few wet ingredients went in. Pinkie held the bowl in both forehooves, and somehow whisked the concoction with her mane.

"And of course," she said cheerily as the dry ingredients began to get tossed in, "every batch is made with love!" As she finished her sentence, she kissed the outside of the mixing bowl gently. Mason felt a torrent of Mania flow into it.

"Pinkie, are you feeding Mania-infused baked goods to ponies?"[9]

[9]So uh, what's your bet on how many Beholden live in Ponyville? Seems unfair for Twilight to throw a tantrum over one at that point.[A]
[A]I'm pretty sure any Mania in these is probably diluted enough that it barely registers unless you're sensitive to it.

Pinkie poured out the newly finished batch into the next tray. "Uh-huh! Every one is delicious, nutritious, and gives ponies the energy they need to start their day!"

"Well that's nice. Ponies can handle the Mania in them, right?"

"Haven't had a problem since I moved here." Pinkie's voice came out a little muffled as she managed to speak while carrying the muffin tray in her mouth towards the oven. "Well, there was that one time Applejack[10] messed up the recipe. But that's it. What did you want to talk about?"

[10]The orange one. With the hat. Also you probably can't tell this when I'm translating for you but she has a very folksy accent.

"Where do you get all your Mania from?" Mason asked bluntly. He reared up on his hindhooves, draping his forelegs over the kitchen island behind him. "I've never seen you do anything that generates it, but you're constantly doing things that require it. By my calculations, you simply have to have an external source. I'm burning through a lot of Mania, and I could really use some tips from somepony who obviously gets by just fine."

Pinkie frowned slightly and shrugged. "Weeeeeeeeell, I don't think what I do about it would really be good for you."

"Why not?"

"I do a few different things to get the ol' creative juices flowin'," she said as she matched Mason's pose on the counter across from him. "If I just need to have something to do while I think about things, I bake! Measuring out ingredients helps me imagine what I'll need for an invention,[11] even if the result isn't always so tasty. Hinge oil is not something you want to have to wash out of your mixing bowl."

[11]Oh, baking is how she studies. That's so cute!

"Baking with you sounds like it could be a lot of fun, actually."

"Aw, glad you think so! But, honestly? I don't think it would help you like it does for me. You don't seem like much of a baker."

"You're not wrong. We could do that for fun though. Want some help while we're in here?"

"The ingredients in here are for the Cakes to make stuff to sell, so no baking for fun right now. And Mrs. Cake would probably feel bad if you made her something to sell without getting paid. Just let your pal Pinkie handle things in here!

"Anyway, when I used to put on my Element of Harmony[12] I'd get a jolt of magic. After a while sitting in my system I'd feel all juiced up,[13] but the Elements are in the Everfree Forest[14] now and really need to stay there. We'd be overrun with rampaging Plundervines[15] if we took them back."

[12]Some kind of magic or religious artifact or something.
[13]By implication, this would mean Pinkie's also one of those weirdos who can convert any supernatural energy source to Mania because why not I guess. How did this girl hit the Genius lottery this hard?
[14]That's a nearby landmark. Despite the nice-sounding name based on connotation it's all kinds of evil.
[15]Local fauna of the evil forest.

"So what do you do for Mania now?"

"Oh, the Element was easy come easy go. The main way I get the ol' think-rock goin' is by making ponies smile!"[16]

[16]What.

"What?"

"What?" Pinkie asked. "What's weird about that?"

Mason pushed off the island behind him, returning to a normal standing position. "I've absolutely never heard of any Genius getting Mania from helping ponies. My world would probably be a much better place if we knew that was an option."

"I don't think it'd work for you."

"Why not?"

"Just a hunch. Got a twinge in my left ankle about it. Means something isn't going to work.[17] Besides, I can always just give you more."

[17]Sounds like an effect of her Unmada field or something? Maybe a weird invention she did to herself? Hard to say.

"Wait, you'd just give me Mania? Just like that? No catch?"

"Yeah, silly! We're friends!" In a flash, Pinkie was by his side instead of across from him, giving him a light slap on the back. At the touch, he felt the electric charge of Mania flow into his mind.

While it was still ultimately the same energy, Pinkie's Mania felt different somehow. It felt livelier, more creative than analytic when it lit up thoughts in his mind. Likely a side effect of being converted from its original magical state. If ponies got to feel this flow all the time, he was a little jealous.

"Gotta say," Mason said with a chuckle, "I appreciate how much easier life seems to be in Equestria sometimes."

"Is it? Don't know what your world is like, but life here isn't as easy as you might think. I have to save the world from some meanie powerful enough to destroy existence once every like, three months."[18]

[18]Wait wh–

The Clockstopper regarded his hosts' daughter from across their dining room table. He gingerly put down the quill pen he'd been practicing with next to his sheet of parchment covered in what he understood to be their alphabet.

"Renowned skill?" he said in broken but confident Ponish. "That is what?"

The little filly gave him a shocked look. "That's 'special talent,' silly! It's what you're best at! What your cutie mark is for! You have a cutie mark, so you have to have a special talent!" She pointed at his rump, where the picture of a broken clock was. "How do you not know what a cutie mark is?"

He gave a pleasant laugh, reached over the table, and gently tousled her hair. "Am seeing. Apologizing if expressing this is I am poorly, but what for me is best is ceasing learning from being the badness."

"You… stop ponies from learning?"

"I am to ensuring that ponies correct the learning."

"So, you're like a teacher then? What do you teach?"

"I would with happy give the learning, small friend."

Author's Note

Big thanks to FanofMostEverything and SirNotAppearinginthisFic for their assistance prereading the chapter!