Starlight Glimmer and Trixie Lulamoon trotted down one of Ponyville’s simple paths as the warm Ponyville sun hovered high above them. Trixie’s purple, blue and yellow star-patterned saddlebags bounced slightly on her back as she and Starlight happily chatted away on the important lessons they had learned today.
“…So it’s agreed then,” Trixie said. “I’ll distract every pony with my magnificence and you cast a helpful memory wipe spell!”
Or, you know… not.
“For the last time, no!” Starlight replied in an irritated tone. “Maybe if this screw up had happened a year ago, or maybe even a few months ago before I got whacked repeatedly with a newspaper and a talking to about mind control, I would have brushed up on Lockheart’s Memory Obliviate, but the current me, who knows better, and also doesn’t like getting whacked with newspapers, does not want to solve this through ‘unethical’, as I’ve been told, use of magic. Plus, I kinda already used that spell once…”
“Oh?” Trixie asked with interest. “Who?”
Starlight’ cheeks started to turn red. “Spike walked in on me while I was in the shower.”
Trixie raised an eyebrow and looked Starlight up and down, noting a distinct lack of clothing, as per the usual, “Trixie feels she’s missing context.”
“I got lost in the castle after pulling a magic all-nighter, alright?!” Starlight said. “Took a wrong turn without realizing it… wandered into Spike’s shower by accident. I was tired! Give me a break!”
Trixie creased her brow. “None of that provides me with the context I was seeking… I mean… You don’t usually wear clothes, so…”
Starlight lowered her head slightly. “He came in just as I was cleaning my underside…”
“… And you wiped his memory for that?! Even I think that’s a bit overkill…”
Starlight glanced flankward as the redness in her cheeks increased. “It was way down under… and a very deep and vigorous cleaning he caught me in the middle of.”
“… Do friends fall on their backs laughing at other friends?”
“… They do their best not to,” Starlight answered.
Trixie nodded. “Noted.” With that, mirthful laughter began to pour out of Trixie as she fell to the ground and began rolling around.
Starlight glared down at Trixie, turned, and not so gently placed one of her back hooves into Trixie’s mid-section with a soft ‘thump!’
“OW!” Trixie exclaimed as she pulled her hooves over the attacked spot instinctively. “I thought friends never resorted to violence!”
Starlight smirked as she turned back around. “They try their best not to. Anyways,” Starlight continued, “Twilight found out about it, we had another awkward conversation about me about not using mind-magic on my friends, I was forced to talk about what Spike had seen with him which was even more embarrassing because he had forgotten, and it turns out Twilight hits pretty hard with a newspaper.”
“… Hehehe…”
Starlight furrowed her brow. “No!”
“…HeheHahahaha…”
“Stop it!”
“…HahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!” Trixie returned to rolling around on the ground.
“Trixie, I may not be allowed to use mind magic on you, but I can certainly show you what it feels like to be one of the objects you turned into a teacup.”
Trixie’s laughing stopped abruptly. “… Those spells work on ponies?!” she asked with sparkles in her lilac eyes.
Starlight rolled her eyes and she lowered a foreleg towards Trixie. Trixie hooked a foreleg around Starlight’s and Starlight helped her up. The pair began trotting towards their destination again, Trixie putting on a small ponderous look for a moment and then looked up hopefully. “What spell was that you definitely weren’t going to use?”
“Oh, Lockheart’s Memory Obliviate. It’s effective, but sometimes works too well. Lockheart accidentally hit himself with it once and forgot everything about himself.”
“Well, that sounds like a tragedy waiting to happen…”
Starlight shrugged. “Well, Lockheart wrote a book about his memory loss to go along with his other books going over his details, so it wasn’t so…” Starlight trailed off, her mental gears started to turn regarding what Trixie just said. She narrowed her eyes. “You were going to go back to the castle and look up the spell, weren’t you?”
Trixie glanced upwards towards her eyelids for a moment. “Friends tell each other the truth, right?”
Starlight sighed. “Yes.”
Trixie nodded. “Then, ‘yes’. But, I’ve had bad experience with magic backfiring before, so I figured I’d just avoid that particular headache this time around.”
Starlight let out a groan. “Trixie! Friends don’t use mind magic spells on other friends! I just told you that and I’ve been told repeatedly.” Starlight glanced around. “You’re lucky there aren't any newspapers around that I can see.”
“… Okay, but what if—”
“I assure you, this matter is quite black-and-white.”
“Well… I was only going to use it on one friend. The other ponies are really still just acquaintances.”
Starlight stopped mid-trot. “You were going to use the spell on me too?!”
Trixie stopped and turned. “Well, you’re being so whiny about it! I figured it was the only way to avoid an awkward conversation later.”
Starlight shook her head and kept walking. “Sorry, Trixie, but awkward conversations are sometimes part of friendship.”
“Well, at least I’m learning something, I guess,” Trixie groaned as she followed Starlight.
Starlight chuckled to herself. “Maybe now that I’ve graduated, you can become my friendship student.”
It was Trixie’s turn to stop dead in her tracks.
Starlight paused. “Trixie?” She turned and looked at Trixie with concern.
“I have considered your proposal, Starlight,” Trixie said. “I have decided that I would miss you when you’re gone, but killing you in your sleep rates substantially higher on the list of ‘things I’d like to do’ than ‘become your friendship student’ once the former becomes necessary to prevent the latter.”
Starlight stared at Trixie blankly for a moment then quickly slapped on a smile that was a tad too symmetrical to be altogether sincere. “Okay! We’ll just learn more about friendship, together!”
Trixie nodded. “That’s better,” she said as she continued her trot. Starlight followed and soon both were standing in front of the salmon-colored adorned, dual-heart, double-hung door to Ponyville’s spa. Trixie sighed. “Do we have to do this?”
Starlight gave Trixie a small smile as her horn began to glow electric blue. “It’s either deal with it now and get some nice spa treatment afterwards, or spend the rest of the day hiding in the castle before Twilight and Spike get back to get on our cases about the table then.”
“Or we can skip town and go on tour spreading the wonders of magic together!” Trixie wrapped a foreleg around Starlight’s neck. “Just picture it…” She made an arc motion with her free forehoof. “The Grrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie, and her assistant’s Fantastic and Amazing Repentance Tour!”
Starlight’s eyelids dropped slightly. “Trixie…”
“Fine!” Trixie snapped as retracted her arm, sat on her haunches and crossed her forelegs in front of her chest. “‘Attractive’ assistant.”
Starlight paused for a moment. “You think I’m attra… I mean, ‘no’!”
“… ‘Talented’ assistant?”
“Still ‘no’!”
Trixie let out a groan. “Fine, you egomaniac, ‘attractive and talented’!”
“Trixie! You can’t solve all your problems by packing up and leaving town!”
“… It’s worked so far.”
Starlight sighed. “Okay, maybe you can do that, but all my stuff is here! Plus, I just had this big emotional thing with Twilight discussing how I wouldn’t move away…”
Trixie lowered her head. “Alright, Starlight… Have it your way…”
Starlight smiled. “Good… Glad that you’re finally coming to your sens—”
Trixie wrapped her foreleg around Starlight’s neck again and once again arced her foreleg in the air. “The Grrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie AND The Attrrrrractive and TALENTED Starlight!”
“Trixie… I… Wait…” Starlight looked at Trixie with interest. “You’d give me actual billing and I get a title?!”
Trixie nodded. “Well, I’m showing a bit of good faith here, but I’m sure with your talents and attractiveness, you’d earn it pretty quickly. Plus we saved the world, so your image at the top of the poster with mine would help sell tickets.”
“Tempting,” Starlight said. “But it’s still no… Also, the acronym of Fantastic and Amazing Repentance Tour is F.A.R.T.”
“Trixie is not good with naming things, alright?!” Trixie fumed.
Starlight smirked and shook her head, her horn once again glowing electric blue as a similar glow englobed the knobs of the spa doors. “Alright, but we really should get in there and let everypony get this table thing out of their system. “
Trixie grinned darkly to herself and glanced at her saddle bags. “Or plan ‘b’…”
“Trixie! You can’t attack your friend and/or acquaintance with bees!”
Trixie let out a frustrated sigh and opened her saddle bag with a lilac glow of her horn. She produced a jar full of buzzing and anger and hurled it up and over the spa.
“Are you happy, now?!” Trixie demanded over the sound of broken glass and pained, feminine screams of “Do you know who I am and how much money I have?! I’ll sue!”
Starlight glanced in the direction of the mare who was dealing with her bee problem by threatening legal action. “For some reason, kind of, yeah,” Starlight answered.
“No! Cease dying upon stinging me immediately! I CAN’T PRESS CHARGES IF YOU'RE DEAD!”
Starlight shook her head as if to clear it then turned towards the spa. “Alright! Door opening attempt number three!”
“As well as plan ‘C’!” Trixie exclaimed.
Starlight’s forehead knit. “What?”
“Nothing!” Trixie replied. Before Starlight could get in another word, Trixie’s horn glowed lilac and the spa door was thrown open, Trixie jumping inside dramatically. “Mares and Gentlecolts, The Grrrrreat and Powerful Trixie and The Attrrrrractive and TALENTED Starlight have arrived!”
The collection of ponies and one dragon present turned to stare at Trixie, each one uttering out a markedly unenthusiastic greeting, save Pinkie who “Oooo”ed, “Awww”ed, and clapped.
Trixie took a few bows as Starlight walked in, closing the door behind her with an electric blue glow of her horn as she rolled her eyes.
Twilight wasted no time broaching the obvious topic. “Sooo…” Twilight began with the knowing smirk as Lotus Blossom ran a brush through her hair. “The ponies at the spa have been telling me a few interesting things about a giant crystal table that showed up out of the—”
With a lilac glow of her horn, Trixie’s saddle bag flew open and cloud of white powder hit Twilight in the face. “AMNESIA DUST, HA!” Trixie shouted.
Starlight let out a heavy sigh and buried her face in a forehoof. “Oh, Celestia…”
“I’m enjoying a massage, my little pony,” came a reply from further in the spa. “Please leave me alone.”
With an amethyst glow of her horn, Twilight removed the offending powder from her face, though a generous dusting still covered her neck and chest. Lotus Blossom wordlessly opened her eyes and tried to blink the surprise powder away.
“This is just talcum powder, Trixie,” Twilight said in an irritable tone.
Trixie grimaced in frustration as her saddle bags opened and generous heap of ‘amnesia dust’ was suddenly tossed on everypony in the room. “AMNESIA DUST!” she screamed.
Everypony, now covered in white powder, simply stared at Trixie in annoyance, save one. “Who am I, where am I?” Pinkie uttered as Aloe gave her a concerned look and wrapped a towel around of curly mop of a mane.
Spike smacked a claw against his face. “Pinkie, it really just is talcum powder. Your memory is fine.”
Pinkie frowned heavily. “Oooo… Okay! Just one or more things.”
Spike sighed. “Yeah…”
“What’s talcum powder, who are you, and what’s a ‘memory’?”
Everypony groaned and turned to glare at Trixie.
Trixie balked, “Sure. It’s my fault you all hang out with a clinically insane pony.”
Everyone paused thoughtfully for a moment.
“Several clinically insane ponies actually,” Applejack corrected.
A few glances drifted in a ‘Starlight’ direction.
“Oh, come on!” Starlight gripped.
“But Ah guess that’s neither here nor there,” Applejack said.
“Why, there you are!”
Everypony turned in bewilderment as another Pinkie trotted into the room from a mirror and made her way over to the other Pinkie. “Hehe… The ol’ ‘I’m not really a clone of you, I’m a ghoooost’ trick isn’t going to work twice! Now I need you to cover for me back at Sugarcube Corner!”
The ‘other’ Pinkie frowned. “I don’t remember where that is!” she cried in a distressed tone.
“Wait… is that…” Pinkie leaned in close, producing a magnifying glass from her mane as she peered intently at the powdery substance on the other her. She looked around at the other ponies present with an accusatory scowl. “Okay! Fess Up. Who’s been throwing the amnesia dust around?!”
“Uh, Pinkie?” Twilight began.
“I think I’d remember that!” Pinkie shot back. She tapped her chin thoughtfully a few times. “Or would I?”
“Pinkie!” Twilight said with more force. “Why is there another clone of you?! I thought we got all of them!”
“Nopers!” Pinkie replied simply.
“Then why didn’t you tell me?!”
“Because watching you magic murder a bunch of mes while I stared at a wall and prayed to Celestia—”
“Seriously! Trying to relax, here!”
“— was, hooves down, the most stressful, most traumatizing experience of my life!”
The Pinkie clone suddenly tensed up and bit at its lower lip as a cast a terrified glance in Twilight’s direction.
Pinkie frowned heavily. “And I say that being the only pony aware of all the rule 34 that gets drawn of us.”
Sitting in the hot tub, Rainbow Dash’s forehead crinkled. “Rule what?”
Surprisingly, the other occupant of the hot tub Fluttershy, practically leapt on Rainbow Dash and covered her mouth. “No! Please don’t ask Pinkie any questions! I’ve learned the long, hard, and between my legs for some reason, way that you shouldn’t ask questions here.”
“Oh… Alright?” Rainbow Dash replied.
Starlight raised an eyebrow at Twilight. “You murdered a bunch of Pinkie’s clones?”
Twilight shrugged. “‘Sent back to the mirror pond’, ‘murdered’… Hey, if you have a better way to quickly get rid of unwanted magical annoyances and horrors, I’m all ears.”
Starlight cringed. “No, no… I’m relieved more than anything… I mean… I feel a lot better about what I did to that thing I made that was you except ‘all ears’.”
Rarity cleared her throat. “I think we’re all kind of ignoring the big white-powdered pink elephant in the room.”
Everypony turned back to Pinkie.
“WhaAaAaAaAaAat?!” Pinkie shrilled. “So horned ponies are the only ponies who get to abuse magic when it suits them? You know what that’s called?”
“… Every waking moment of my life?” Spike offered.
“Racism!” Pinkie hissed.
“Oh, that is just not fair!” Twilight howled, clearly ready to debate Pinkie ‘right here, right now’ on the topic.
The powdered Pinkie Pie reproduction glanced about the room. “… Erm… I think I’ll just wander aimlessly until I find Sugarcube Corner… This place isn’t as relaxing all of a sudden.”
Starlight shot a glare at Trixie as the clone wondered past and Twilight and Pinkie began a very wordy, very shrill debate. “Nice going, Trixie!” Starlight berated. “Not only did your stupid amnesia dust only work on one pony out of about a dozen it also led to a stupid debate on magic ethics during what’s supposed to be a relaxing spa trip.”
Trixie smirked at Starlight. “Didn’t it, though?”
“Didn’t what, though?”
“My amnesia dust! Didn’t it work?”
“… No. No, it didn’t!”
Trixie motioned to the other ponies, either trying their best to ignore, diffuse, or continue the ethics debate. “And yet no one is talking about the table I accidently teleported.”
“Okay but… but…” Starlight’s expression softened as she stared off into space. “Wow… You’re right!”
Trixie smiled widely and got up on her back hooves as she threw her forehooves up into the air. “That’s because the Grrrrrreat and POWERFUL TRIXIE always knows how to work a crowd!” She lowered herself down. “And once again, I’ve vexed Twilight without suffering any repercussions whatsoever.”
“… I shouldn’t approve of that sort of behavior,” Starlight replied. “... But part of me wants to learn more.”
Trixie grinned. “Stick with Trixie, oh attractive and talented one, and ‘consequences of your actions’ will be a phrase you’ll never have to hear again!
‘THWACK’
Starlight’s amethyst eyes went wide as Trixie’s lilac ones rolled back into her head and the light-blue unicorn slumped to the ground unconscious, a heavy, rolled newspaper held aloft in a turquoise glow suspended above Trixie’s temporarily comatose body.
“Uh… Hi, Sunset,” Starlight greeted in concern and also fear as she stared at the paper held in Sunset Shimmer’s magic.
“Hey, Starry!” Sunset greeted enthusiastically. “Oh you’ve got some… Erm… Let me get that for you, I need the practice, you know?” With a flap of her wings and a glow of her horn, Sunset quickly blew away and removed all the powder from Starlight’s mane and coat before she leaning forward and hugging Starlight with a foreleg and a wing. “Twilight wrote to tell me all you girls were having some sort of big spa day, so I hopped the portal on over!”
“Oh…” Starlight said as she and Sunset parted slightly. “… Okay, but how’d you know about Trixie messing up magic and covering every pony in amnesia dust?”
Sunset looked down at the twitching, mouth slightly open, clearly concussed Trixie, then looked back up at Starlight, smile still on her face. “Trixie did what now?”
The End.
