Chapters Rarity Reads a Trashy Romance Novel
6 - The Heat Bathing Applejack in Sweat
Applejack lifted her eyes, lazily. She was sprawled out over her bed, a hoof extending off the side, the sheets having been pushed off of her during her sleep. She scratched her head and tried to smooth her hair into place around her pillow, enjoying the rare luxury of sleeping in.
She stopped her brushing and moved to her side with her ears raised. She heard the creaks of floorboards signal someone was walking up the steps. She listened for the distinct sound of the long board at the start of the hallway as it whined under somepony's weight. The hoofsteps stopped in front of her door. Her ear flicked in mild surprise.
She heard a dainty knock. "Are you decent?"
"Huh?" she smacked her lips, processing the voice. "Rarity?"
The door opened and the fashion pony made her presence known, noisily, causing Applejack to pull her ears back in slight discomfort.
Rarity quickly made it to the side of the bed to observe what was laid bare before her. She raised an eyebrow and smirked; what a scandalous pose, she thought.
Applejack grabbed her sheets and pulled them over her suddenly exposed feeling body. With a hot mix of emotions warring in her head, she fumbled for words: "What in, why are, what the hay, you crazy mare!"
"Good morning, darling," Rarity gave a predatory grin. She moved a hoof to touch the side of the bed, letting her mind wander to the scene that she had read last night. With a blush, her hoof promptly retreated, but not before Applejack noticed and shot up, sitting against the headboard of her bed.
Rarity enjoyed a few moments of silence between them, failing spectacularly to keep her mind from wandering all over Applejack. Applejack could feel Rarity's thoughts on her and she tensed up, her own mind racing on how to get out of her house alive.
"Whatever it was, I'm sorry, Rares! For real, I mean it."
"What are you talking about, you silly pony?" Rarity softened her gaze. "I came to ask you a favor."
"Well, okay," Applejack lowered her hooves and the edge of the sheets that they were holding, exposing more of her body. "What do you need?"
"Oh, darling, it's dreadful!" She put a hoof across her face, and the other sneaked its way onto Applejack's exposed barrel, lightly shaking her. "Absolutely the worst thing to happen to me! I had to come as quickly as I could. Sorry for seeing you so early, but this could not wait!"
"There, there, sugarcube," Applejack hesitantly placed a hoof over the one touching her and gave a cautious smile, rubbing it, hoping Rarity would be too upset and full of dramatics to notice. "Just tell me what I need to do to help." She enjoyed the soft and warm feel of her hoof on the other mare's hoof.
"I'm afraid my plumbing is broke! My kitchen is all wet and I don't know what to do!" Rarity swallowed, pushing past her nerves. "I will now faint. Please catch me."
"Please what now?"
Before Applejack knew it, Rarity was laying on top of her stomach, her arms limp and legs hanging off the bed. She could feel the pleasant heat from the mare, along with a few of her curves, thin sheets being all that separated them. She swallowed long and hard.
"Rarity?" No response, save for the heavy movements of her chest and nostrils. She watched her chest rise and fall, one of her hoofs still lying limply over her eyes.
Rarity laid there for what felt like an eternity. She could not force herself to rise, and with each breath, noticed her second fainting couch did not force her to rise, either. Instead, she felt strong hoofs slowly embrace her. She calmed her breathing, and neither pony dared move for another eternity. Rarity felt light headed, as if she were a school filly again, doing something new and absolutely, irreversibly foalish.
"Hey AJ, hey Rarity! Did y'all spend the night together?" Apple Bloom appeared at the door.
Rarity's eyes shot open and she was back on her hooves facing away from the bed. "Oh, dear me, I must have fainted. I merely came to wake your sister and ask for her help today to fix my pipes."
Apple Bloom stared at her. "Okay, makes sense to me." They could hear the creaks of the floorboards as she left.
With a few fake and nervous laughs, Rarity turned to Applejack. "So then, will you assist me with my plumbing needs?"
Applejack swallowed, hard. "Sure thing. When should I be there?"
Rarity thought for a moment. "After you've finished whatever you need to do, darling. But try not to keep a lady waiting too long."
"Okay," the word came out like molasses in Applejack's mouth.
"Okay, then. It's a date." The sounds of floorboards followed Rarity out of the house.
Applejack got up, and took a long shower.
After eating breakfast and explaining the morning excitement to her grandmother who would not stop making snide comments and implications about it, Applejack found herself outside in another beautiful day. The sky was clear and blue, the sun was hot, and the ground solid and ready for her.
She rummaged through the barn for a hoe. Today she was going to rough up some dirt to plant a tiny garden for some cooking herbs. Finding it, she came back outside to be assaulted by the sun's light. She used a hoof for shade, looking up. What a beautiful day, she thought, but Luna bless it if she was not already feeling the heat.
"Beautiful day, is it not?"
Applejack turned in disbelief. There stood Rarity, wearing her oversized hat and sunglasses, hovering a few items behind her.
"What are you doing here?"
"Why, Applejack," Rarity pouted, "My kitchen is such a mess and I felt so miserable that I could not wait at home alone. I hope you don't mind my company."
"Nah, if you want to hang out some, it's alright," Applejack smiled, wiping her brow. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to work on my little garden over there for a bit and then I'll be all yours. Make yourself at home, sugarcube."
"With pleasure," said Rarity.
She watched Applejack give her one last reassuring smile before walking away to a small patch of empty ground, using the hoe to mark out a rectangle. Satisfied, Applejack looked up to give Rarity another smile and nod before focusing on her task in earnest.
The apple farmer looked very cute, Rarity thought, as she used her mouth to hold her tool and rough up the ground.
Rarity gazed over Sweet Apple Acres. The fields of trees and rolling hills in the distance were picturesque and begged to be painted. She let go of a sigh, longing for a canvas. Not today, she thought.
She walked under the shade of a nearby apple tree. She looked back at Applejack, to catch her pretending not to have been looking at her first. She placed a folding chair she had been carrying and sat in it. She lowered a book into her hooves and a folded fan into her lap. A glass of water with melting chunks of ice clinked about as she put it into the chair's cup holder.
She lifted her book and opened it, pretending to read and not to spy on Applejack through the hidden safety of her sunglasses.
The heat was bathing Applejack in sweat. Her blonde hair looked magnificent regardless of the conditions affecting it, somehow, but Rarity noticed a few odd lengths of hair pasted on her neck in sticky strands. What a dirty pony, she thought.
She took in the dirt and her surroundings through her nose, curious as to what it would smell like, to find it very pleasing in an oddly familiar way.
She looked back at Applejack, watching her muscles work the tool and the ground with keen interest.
The heat was quite overwhelming, even under the shade, she realized. Flicking open her fan, she used her magic to give herself a small breeze. She continued her strictly artistic study of Applejack, and the many specific parts of Applejack, for several moments and for purely artistic reasons, taking the occasional sip of water to cool off. It was extremely hot.
She could think of things to paint on a canvas.
Why did she not think to do this before? How many times has Applejack toiled in solitude without a single pony to admire her efforts? She took another sip of water and continued to fan herself. Did Applejack ever watch her toil over a dress? She couldn't remember. Just like Applejack, she was probably too focused on her work to have noticed.
There was that one time Applejack had been magically given her cutie mark of diamonds, and she had tried to make a few dresses. Rarity felt a deep longing--how she wished she had taken a picture of that orange flank with her mark! She still had the dresses, somewhere, safely hidden.
She looked down at her book. It wasn't the book she had been reading about Fair Desire and Wicked Strike. She refused to finish that one. She simply couldn't. Instead, it was another one she had read several months ago, decidedly more adult and trashy in nature. She gave it a soft pat. It was also where she got the idea to invite Applejack over to fix her plumbing--the perfect, most cliché thing she could possibly contrive.
She felt as if she would die in anticipation. It was all so liberating! This time, she wouldn't wait for some stallion to romance her off her hooves. She'd do it herself. She was both beautiful and brilliant.
She took another slow sip of water, taking interest in how Applejack's bushy tail swung around as she worked the fertile earth. Soon, she thought, I will be that fertile soil. She giggled at her juvenile thoughts. Soon, Applejack…
"Huh, what?"
Rarity woke with an unladylike snort. Applejack had her hoof on her shoulder. She was sitting. It smelled of apples.
"You fell asleep there, partner," Applejack smiled.
"Oh… I'm terribly sorry."
"I guess I was working so hard that it wore you out too, huh?"
You can say that again, Rarity thought.
"Well, uh, I can take a look at your pipes now," Applejack's grin widened, "Seeing as you can't wait and are clearly in a hurry. Or, I could take a shower as I'm sure as sugar I smell awful."
Rarity sniffed, taking in a mixture of scents: some unpleasant, like wet dirt and caked sweat, but others not altogether so bad, like a potent mixture of herbs, that she supposed had been planted, and apples, so many apples, and oddly an orange or two, that she swore she could smell their juicy and mushy center as if they were against her face.
"Uh, Rares, you okay?"
"Quite."
"You might want to let go. I wasn't kidding about needing a shower."
"Hm?" Rarity wondered for a moment before realizing she was hugging Applejack's waist.
"Oh! I'm so embarrassed and sorry!" She quickly let go and rose from the chair, folding it and packing the rest of her items away. "I suppose I must have been, uh… dreaming," she kicked herself mentally, knowing she was on a fast moving cart without brakes as she spoke. "I was dreaming and not awake. How improper and forward of me. I am so, so very sorry."
"Shoot, it was only a hug," Applejack offered, with a soft smile. "We do it all the time between us best friends, right? No harm done."
Applejack looked so happy and pleased with herself, Rarity thought. That silly pony! She thought she could get away with such innocent remarks, thinking the subtext would fly over Rarity's pretty little head. It was not only a hug. It was not something they did all the time with just anyone. And she was harming them both--it was not lost on her that with each wild action of hers, which threw established protocols of courtship to the wind, it had the potential to irreparably destroy their friendship.
"You may take that shower," Rarity commanded, "And this time, you will properly dry yourself before meeting me at my boutique."
"Why dry myself if I might get wet helping you?"
"Do my ears deceive me, or is Applejack giving me sass?"
"No, my lady, I would never dare ponder the thought."
"Good, then. I will see you at my door."
"Looking forward to it."
"As am I."
"You said it was a date?"
"I can't recall. Call it what you will."
"Do you want to eat, afterward?"
"That would be lovely, yes."
"And you're not mad at me, or anything? This isn't a prank?"
"Goodbye, Applejack." Rarity sped through the small talk and goodbyes. She had to get home and get ready.
"See you soon!"
Rarity Reads a Trashy Romance Novel
1 - A Lady Only Reads the True Classics
A giggle cut through the air like an unexpected arrow. The distinct sound of a pencil falling onto a table signaled an unintended hit.
"Rarity!"
Rarity looked up from her book, holding a spent grin. "Yes?"
Sweetie Belle motioned to the fallen pencil and huffed. "Do you mind?"
"Oh! I am terribly sorry, dear. How rude of me." Rarity levitated a purple satin slip between the pages of her book and closed it. She unfolded herself from her couch and pillows, stretched her front legs, and failed to suppress a grunt lost between a moan and a yawn.
"I shall retreat to my bedchamber and leave you in charge of the defense of my castle, dear sister." She smiled upon seeing Sweetie Belle roll her eyes, giving her head a loving pat. "I am sorry for distracting you."
Sweetie Belle waved her hooves in the air as if they were larger eyes to roll. "I don't mind you hanging around. In fact, it's nice," she squeaked the last word. "Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are counting on me to finish this for our project tomorrow. And Cheerilee told me how much she's looking forward to seeing what I can write and I'm under a lot of pressure and it was nice of you talking me through it earlier."
"But?"
"But you know how you can get when you read those," Sweetie Belle tapped her chin in recall. "Those trashy romance novels!"
"Trashy? Sweetie Belle, such language is unbecoming of a lady."
"I'm only repeating what dad said!"
Well, Rarity thought to reply, he is no lady, that's for sure.
"Father was being silly. He knows very well that I only read the most celebrated and praised novels in Equestria—the true classics. And I shall take them with me upstairs. Good day, fair maiden."
Sweetie Belle leaned around her chair to get a look at the title of the book held in Rarity's magic: "Wicked Desire", with a picture of a muscular pony in torn clothing hugging from behind a more petite pony wearing the same kind of elaborate dress that Rarity liked to make, complete with a large castle in the background.
"Huh," Sweetie Belle thought, "I'll have to ask Cheerilee about that one. She did say we were going to have to do a book report on a classic next month. Thanks, sis!" She smiled, making a note to herself before resuming her work.
Rarity glided up the stairs, swirled in place at the top, and pranced a small dance down the hallway. This book was good, great even, she thought. She had only finished the first two chapters before being interrupted by, or interrupting her sister.
With each high step of her hooves she marked off a checklist in her mind. An absolutely gorgeous mare with a strong fashion sense as the main character whom one can easily relate to? Check. A fantasy setting of older times when all mares were ladies and all stallions were dashing knights, rogues, or princes? Check. The love interest being such a dashing character with strong arms, a beautiful heart, the title of prince, perfect for her in every way, a toned flank to die for, rugged good looks, lots of money, a huge family, a kingdom full of friends, and single? Check. Check. Check.
She lowered the book into her arms to hug it, falling into her bed. Giggling, she rolled around with it as if it were her secret lover. The book was a hardback, so hard in her grasp that it made her feel softer. She pressed it deeper into her arms. Closing her eyes, she inhaled the lavender fragrance of her pillow. She fancied the book embracing her back. She pretended it was a real pony. She imagined what it would feel like to hold someone this close in such an intimate setting. She moved her leg as if to wrap it around her imaginary partner's leg. She has hugged many ponies before, especially her close friends. She wanted more. She had to have more.
With a sudden heat on her face, she opened her eyes.
A long sigh carried her to her door. She closed it, and with the passing of a few heartbeats, locked it. Another sigh carried her back to her bed and she laughed at herself. It was a small laugh, as small as she began to feel in her large bed, in her large room, in her large carousel of a house.
She lifted her book and it felt even smaller. It was as small as the little idea she thought she had, desperately trying to remember what it was, knowing she had thought about it mere moments before. Whatever it was, it had become smaller, so small she could never find it again and the thought left her with a frown. She knew it was a thought from the book, and turning to lay on her stomach, wiggling into her large sheets and heavy blankets, she felt her small spirits being lifted at the thought of returning to the magical land of another trashy romance novel.
Pulling her pillow to her so that she could rest her hooves, she felt the practiced aura flow from her horn to open the book. With a deep breath, one look around and an ear flicked to scan for any sign of her sister, she started the next chapter.
Fair Desire lifted her hoof to inspect it, more curious to see if any grain of dirt had touched it than acknowledging all the dirt touching the hooves of her close friend who stood before her, prattling on about whatever ruffian interests she had. She desperately resisted the urge to clean those dirty hooves of her friend's. She soon found herself on the verge of giving in, already grabbing her pocket napkin with her magic.
"Desire! Are you even listening?"
"Of course I am, dear Wicked." She lifted her other hoof for inspection, secretly letting go of the napkin into her pocket.
Wicked Strike stomped her hoof. "Ya are not! This is serious, Desire. All you can think about is that darn prince. I really need yer help here."
Desire's eyes were on that hoof stomp. The hoof was now even dirtier.
"Oh, alright. You needn't be so helpless." Fair Desire raised another crate with her sparkling magic into Wicked Strike's cart with graceful ease.
Looking over the cart and spotting something beyond it, she gasped, "The prince!" Quickly ducking, she calmed herself and slowly peeked over the cart at the target of her desire.
"What's gotten into you, you crazy mare?" Wicked turned to face her. Following her gaze she saw the unmistakably dark purple color of the one and only Prince Glistening Sword.
"Oh, is this why you decided to help me? To spy on some stallion? How very ladylike, if I don't say. My apologies, princess, I had thought you actually cared to do some honest hard work for once."
"Shush, you! He'll hear us!"
Wicked Strike crossed her hooves and leaned back into the cart. She boldly observed the prince sitting down to eat across the street. Flicking a straw to the other side of her mouth, she smirked at Fair Desire.
Fair Desire noticed the smirk. "Oh no, you would not dare!"
"Howdy-do, Prince Sword!" Wicked let out in a thick commoner accent. Desire crumbled into herself in shame. "Fancy seeing you in town."
"Ha! Well met, Wicked Strike!" Glistening Sword waved from across the street. "Would you care to join us? It would make my trip through your lovely town all the merrier!"
Wicked turned to peer over her smug grin at Desire down below. "Well, shall we, princess?" She softly asked.
Desire nervously darted her eyes from Wicked to where she imagined the prince was, somewhere past the protection of the cart.
"Ya'll know I'm good friends with both princes. Come on, sweetie-pie," Wicked bowed her head slightly and offered a sincere smile, "I promise it'll be okay. I know you've been wanting to meet him for a long time. Who knows, maybe you'll be able to humor his fancy talk more than I can."
For a moment, Desire looked at Wicked's face. The light touched it differently than before. She was drawn to her one eye, as she often was before, but this time it was different. The patch was less noticeable, but still there, hidden slightly behind part of her hair that had fallen out of place after she had lowered her head to meet her eyes. It was just as she would style it for her, much to her chagrin. But more than that, she looked oddly… vulnerable.
This was the final thought that graced her before she realized her face had hit the ground, before all she could feel was a small army of sandy dirt grabbing her cheeks, nose, and hair. She vaguely felt Wicked Strike over her, protectively, seeing one of the dirty hooves she had been trying not to stare at from earlier, up close now, with the muted screams of maidens coming from somewhere far away, and the distant shouts from stallions, "To arms! To arms!"
Rarity Reads a Trashy Romance Novel
The warmth from the sun mixed with the cool breeze to create a layered luxury all around Rarity. And, while she loved the simple joys one could have from walking down the streets of Ponyville, she made sure to check that her large hat was still tied down around her chin. The fabric felt as wonderful as the sun and breeze. She also adjusted her large sunglasses. They too needed to be kept in place.
To her side, Fluttershy began to quietly hum. Another simple joy, Rarity thought to herself. It was a rare treat to catch her in such outgoing spirits. It was as rare as their visits to the spa were becoming.
She felt another breeze brush past her as it gently moved the leaves on a nearby tree. What a contrast to where she had left off in her romance novel, she thought. Was she becoming overly accustomed to these good times and was beginning to crave more adventure and conflict in her life?
She looked at Fluttershy, who smiled back.
No, she thought, everything was perfect in Ponyville. Everything was perfect in her life. She remembered a small desire, but could not place it or recall anything more about it, other than it was small. Small things were insignificant and not worth her time. Nothing big came from something small. She felt so large walking down the small streets of her small town.
Her chinstrap slipped, causing her hat to tilt.
"Oh, look over there," Fluttershy said, "Rainbow Dash and Applejack are having hayburgers. Do you think it would be okay if we stopped and said hi?"
"Yes, of course." Rarity grunted, adjusting her hat and glasses. "Just one moment, dear. I must make myself presentable."
"Do you need some--" Fluttershy was cut off by the sound of Rainbow Dash's laughter.
Rarity looked up and noticed Rainbow was sitting with Applejack at a table outside, and that apparently they were having a good time between themselves as the laugh was not directed at them. She was quick to notice Applejack's large, silly dumb grin in response to Rainbow Dash's outburst. How typical, she thought. They had yet to notice Fluttershy and her standing around the corner.
Before she could think of what to do next, she heard them continue whatever it was they were talking about, and a part of her instinctively lit up. She moved closer to the stone wall of the restaurant, feeling the comfort of its cool touch and concealment. She attempted to calm an increasingly nervous and confused Fluttershy by explaining her actions with one hoof pressed over her lips and a wink.
"Whoo-wee! I would have died if it were me," said Applejack.
"I know, right? I almost died laughing about it now, but at the time," Rainbow Dash looked into the distance with a pause, "It was crazy."
"So, what happened next?"
"Okay, get this. There I was, extremely shocked, but also extremely, you-know…"
Applejack smirked. "I bet."
Rainbow Dashed grinned. "You know it. She was just sitting there on my bed acting all, you-know. Acting like one of her animals. But in a cute way. She is anything but shy when we're alone, if you catch my drift."
"Oh, my," Rarity gasped. "I wonder who they're talking about?" She poked Fluttershy without looking away from the two, to underscore her excitement. "Rainbow Dash has an amour? This is amazing gossip!" She received no response from Fluttershy, who was covering her face with her hooves in embarrassment.
Rainbow Dash stretched in her seat. "And that's all you're getting. Pretty cool though, right?"
"Yeah. And thanks for skipping the spicy details. I'm not sure I could look at her the same way otherwise."
"No problem. I'm just glad you're cool with me bragging about it. It's so awesome!" Rainbow Dash shifted, lowering her gaze on Applejack. "I know it's uh, rough. I mean, before you find someone. And I know you'll snag an awesome mare someday. Maybe not as awesome as I did, but definitely someone awesome."
Rarity froze, save for grabbing Fluttershy with a hoof. She whispered, "Did you hear that? Tell me you heard that, darling!" Fluttershy gave a small 'meep', still trying to hide her face. "Applejack… is into mares?" Rarity tensed up for a reason beyond her comprehension. She knew this was a type of legendary gossip that would be next to impossible to keep under control, and that she had to hear more.
"Shucks, thanks Rainbow. You're getting mighty soft. Another few weeks of this and you shouldn't bother showing up for the running of the leaves."
"Whatever!" Rainbow laughed. "But seriously, AJ, what's going on? The whole town loves you. What gives? You said you'd have someone before I worked up the nerve."
"It's complicated." Applejack looked away, sucking in her lips. "I don't know who to start with or what I want."
Rainbow Dash pointed a hoof at her. "Don't even try that with me! You're such a terrible liar. This proves you have someone in mind and you're too scared to ask her out."
"It does not," Applejack almost spat. "And besides, I'll ask whoever I want, whenever I'm ready to."
"Sure you will. Missed your chance with me, that's for sure!"
They shared a chuckle.
Rainbow Dash smacked the table with an idea. "How about you ask out the next mare you see to prove it?"
"What! What kind of fool thing is that? I told you, Rainbow, I'll--"
"I dare you to ask out the next mare you see." Rainbow casually laid back into her seat. "Loser pays for lunch."
An uncontrollable urge seized Rarity and she shared the dark smirk Rainbow Dash was sporting.
"Um, I think we should leave and hope they don't notice us," Fluttershy offered, before looking out from the safety of her hooves and hair to notice she was now alone.
"Good day, Rainbow Dash and," Rarity gave an extra sway to her strut, "Fair Applejack. Fancy meeting you here." Her smile felt like its ends curled as much as the ends of her hair.
Rainbow Dash blew out her breath, grabbing her sides in laughter. Both her and Rarity's eyes surveyed the wild frontier that was Applejack's face. The features were a blank mouth line and full eyes with a blank stare. A gentle breeze picked up her thick ponytail, as if patting her on the back in consolation.
"Howdy, Rares."
"Is something the matter, darling?" Rarity oozed the last word out from her lips.
"Yeah, Apples. Is there something you need to ask?" Rainbow Dash asked through a smug smile, arms folded.
"Uh, yeah, I guess." Applejack looked directly into Rarity's eyes, causing Rarity to lose her composure and go stiff, feeling as if she were suddenly made of stone and settling into the ground from her newfound weight. Applejack continued, "Hey Rarity, do you want… the rest of my plate?"
Rarity audibly inhaled through her nose.
"I can cut it so the part I bit off ain't touching. Or, uh, I reckon if you want to order something, we can hang out some more."
Rarity closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun again before opening them. She sat down next to Applejack and faced her, fluttering her eyelashes. "Why, thank you! You are such a gentlepony." She folded her hooves so she could rest her chin on them. "Was there… is there anything else you'd like to ask, darling?"
Applejack swallowed. "Er, nope. That's about it." She looked to Rainbow Dash, who was waving the ticket-order at her, taunting her. "Don't worry about that. I'll take the check."
Rainbow and Rarity frowned.
"Oh no you don't!" Rarity exclaimed.
"No I don't what, now?"
Rarity gave a frustrated sigh. She rearranged herself into another practiced pose at the table, a more formal, aloof one this time.
"Applejack, dear, I couldn't help but notice the running of the leaves is approaching."
Applejack adjusted her hat. "Yeah. That it is."
"And," Rarity continued, adjusting her hat as well, keeping her eyes locked with Applejack, whose eyes were also locked with hers hidden behind her shades, "I couldn't help but recall how the event is becoming more and more like heart and hooves day, with how the runners seem to pair off and keep pace with their romantic partners."
"Huh. Never noticed."
"I'm quite surprised," Rarity said, never taking her eyes off of Applejack, with a hoof held in the direction of Rainbow Dash, who was shifting back and forth in her seat impatiently, "As I would have thought you knew." Rarity leaned in for the kill. "Didn't you and Rainbow Dash settle your differences and become close friends during it?"
"Hey!" Rainbow Dash shouted. "What're you implying?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all," Rarity said, leaning back. "Only that our dear, sweet friend Applejack seems to enjoy the company of other mares during romantic holidays."
Applejack sized Rarity up from beneath her hat. "And your point?"
"I am merely stating purely innocent observations. Nothing to get so upset about."
Applejack clenched her jaw. "Who says I'm getting upset? If I may be so observational, I have also noticed you enjoy the company of other mares."
Rarity gasped, and clenched her jaw. "Of course I do. We share the same circle of wonderful friends, darling," she stressed the word 'darling' as if it were venom. "But I also share the company of many stallions in the fashion and entertainment industry."
"And I, too, share the company of many stallions in the farm and rodeo industry. What's your point, sugarcube?" Applejack stressed the word 'sugarcube' as if it were hard sour candy in her mouth.
"My point," Rarity raised her voice, "Is that there are many single stallions out there, who I know for a fact have expressed interest in asking you out. And, that I know, for a fact mind you, that you have turned down. And, also as a fact, that I have never seen you go out on a date with anyone, ever. And that, as I am sure Rainbow Dash can attest to, we are deeply concerned about such facts. And," Rarity's voice was becoming louder, "If there was something you'd like to tell or ask me, you should know that you will always be my friend and have my trust and I will be quite flattered and happy for whatever it is you will say!" Rarity practically shouted.
Applejack stared at Rarity.
Rarity stared at Applejack. Or she tried to, as she could not help but notice a small smudge of dirt on the farmer's hoof.
"Are we talking about me," Applejack cautiously offered, "Or is this actually about how nobody's shown interest in you, besides Spike?"
Rarity rose from her seat, huffing as if she were a giant dragon. She made to flip the table, briefly engulfing it in her magic, but quickly decided Applejack's plate was the wiser target. Off it went, with a satisfied nod of her head.
Applejack rose from her seat. "What did you do that for?"
"For making fun of me! And for belittling Spike!"
"I was not! What are you getting so upset about?"
"Upset? Do you want to see me upset? I will show you upset!"
"Darn it, calm down, Rares. Look, I'm sorry!"
"Don't you tell me what to do, Jacqueline Apple!"
Rainbow Dash began to feel lost, as if she were not at the table but floating above in a cloud, observing the exchange from a distance. She was brought back by a soft nuzzle from Fluttershy. They looked at each other, speaking without words. Rainbow Dash asked about what was going on by waving her eyes to her table partners. Fluttershy shook her head and smiled, telling her it was okay and not to worry.
"Fluttershy, there you are!" Rarity exclaimed. "I believe we are finished here."
"But, um, we just got here."
"We're leaving! Good day, Rainbow Dash." Rarity raised her chin, briefly looked at Applejack, and stomped off.
"Sorry," Fluttershy offered, flapping her wings to quickly glide into place by Rarity's side.
Applejack watched them leave. "What the hay is her problem?"
Rarity Reads a Trashy Romance Novel
3 - A Bucket of Ice Cream
The visit to the spa helped Rarity to relax, as did talking with Fluttershy. They talked about this and that, as they usually did. Only once had the conversation turned into what had happened, and upon Rarity's apology and insistence not to talk about it, it had quickly went away.
The walk home did not feel as rare as the walk to the spa. It felt oddly familiar. She no longer felt the warmth from the sun as it now cast long shadows down the street. There was no cool breeze in the air, or if there was, she hardly noticed. She had said goodbye to her walking companion long ago. The same, common issue of her post-spa trip home registered in her mind as she felt each hoof touch the ground. There was dirt everywhere. But, it was okay. Who even looks at the bottom of hooves?
"I do," Rarity said softly to herself.
On her way home, she walked past Sugarcube Corner. She remembered Pinkie Pie greeting her outside and handing her a small bucket of ice cream. She did not remember ordering any, but Pinkie Pie insisted that she had—or was it that Pinkie Pie had ordered too much? She remembered Pinkie telling her several different things and that she had to stop her by accepting it and thanking her. She seemed concerned about something and was having another one of her twitching episodes.
Not a single stallion noticed her. Nor did any mares, besides Pinkie Pie. The thought hurt. She unlocked her front door and stepped inside. Why did it hurt? Pinkie Pie is a mare. Does she count? She closed the door behind her. No, she is a close friend. It doesn't count.
Why did it hurt? Because, she thought, she is Rarity, and she is a hopeless romantic.
She found herself on the sofa with a spoon in the ice cream. She didn't bother with a bowl. The bucket was fine. Her sister was back at her parents' house for the night--nopony would know.
How hopeless was she, she thought. She savored the taste of a spoonful of ice cream. Beyond hopeless. Why did she have such trouble getting a date? She looked good. She knew she looked good.
She tasted another spoonful of ice cream, rubbing it around her mouth with her tongue. Prince Blueblood was no prince. Who else? Spike was a wonderful pony, or dragon, and she knew he would grow out of whatever coltish feelings he had for her. It was romantic, but not the kind she desperately sought.
She rolled another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. She had her own childish feelings she has had to grow out of as well. Tenderhoof, she cringed at the thought. How stupid, how desperate--the memory of having to throw away her shrine to him flashed across her mind.
"I love being covered in mud," she gave herself a small laugh.
The worst memory about that was what an awful pony she was to Applejack. She was terrible. Applejack had pretended to be her in the same way she had pretended to be a farmer, so it was okay, but she knew better. She did it to help her see her mistake. It was all her fault. She remembered the rage and jealously, and quite a few other emotions, when she discovered Tenderhoof had fallen for Applejack. And Applejack turned him down! Who would fall for such a silly pony, she thought.
She felt herself scrapping the bucket with her spoon. The memory did cheer her up. Applejack, or Applejewel, was such a silly pony. And she, dressed in overalls, had rolled around in mud! They had argued, yelling into each other's faces. It wasn't the first time. She sighed.
She put the bucket of ice cream down. It was empty.
Climbing up the stairs and finding herself faced with her bedroom, she noticed the romance novel. She smiled.
"At least I have you."
"Promise me ya won't scream."
Fair Desire nodded to Wicked Strike in response.
They raised their chained wrists back above their heads, pretending as if Wicked Strike had not been able to work them loose.
"Whatever happens, I won't let them harm you. If it costs me my life, I won't--"
"I get it, Wicked!" Desire heaved in restrained panic.
The small cell felt even smaller. Some light floated through a tiny hole above, reminding Fair Desire that the world was larger than the hole where she found herself. The prince, she wondered, what happened to her dear prince? Her heart punched her bosom in fear. She was already on edge, but one look at Wicked's one eye looking back at her, and she… she felt like they… she took a calming breath.
She felt like that fool would end up dead trying to save her. The inconsiderate idiot! What if she left her all alone by dying? Then what? What would she do? Wicked had paid attention to the hallways and rooms they traveled through--Desire had fainted, Wicked having to carry her. A rage began to boil within her, her heart beating the walls of her body with a new rhythm. That one-eyed, insufferable pony!
"I'm going to strike fast. Please, for the love of Luna, do not make a sound."
"I said I get it!" Desire all but shouted.
"What's going on in there?"
They both swung their heads in the direction of the heavy door before them. Desire swallowed nervously. The chains around her hooves felt as if they were growing in size and that her hooves would give way at any moment. This was it.
The guard entered.
Abruptly, he swung open the heavy door with a metal screech. Dragging himself in, he gave a menacing look to his captives.
Desire held her breath. One look at the guard's coarsely threaded tunic gave her no doubt as to what stirred the cell's newfound odor.
In a flash, Wicked was on him.
Desire thought she had seen a few punches and kicks connect, but it happened so fast that she wasn't sure. She watched as they were now locked into a grapple. Wicked was attempting to strangle the guard with her chains, but the guard had managed to put a hoof between it and his neck, preventing her. She noticed the other hoof reaching for a knife in his boot.
Fair Desire leaped at him, holding her hooves together as if they were a rock, and dropped them onto the guard's head. The sound of chains snaking their way to the floor under their own weight followed the silence, after the sickening crack. The guard was on the ground.
After one long breath, Wicked Strike dropped to the floor to grab the guard's keys. She paused to look up at Fair Desire, who then fell to her knees to tightly hug her.
"Uh, thanks," Wicked said, while slowly returning the hug with a single hoof. She could feel the unmistakable sounds of her companion's quiet tears. "Hey, come on now. I told ya not to make a sound."
Desire sniffed, holding onto the only thing she could not live without. "I said I get it, you stupid, stupid pony."
Rarity Reads a Trashy Romance Novel
Rarity woke up with a sneeze. She placed her hooves above her head to feel something warm and furry. With her magic, she moved her cat off her mane and raised her sleeping mask.
She turned her head, feeling the heat from her satin pillow, to see light glowing around her windows' curtains.
She thought about getting up.
Turning her head back to look at her nightstand, she considered the book that was resting there. It was only one of many romance novels, by no means the first or the last one she would read.
There was a growing unease in her body. She closed her eyes. She visited the spa yesterday. Why did it feel like weeks?
Her gaze returned to the book. The book, it was responsible. She winced. The book had lied to her. She had expected it to be another romance where the heroine and prince fell in love. It was such a simple and easy formula to follow. She rubbed between her eyes. Not with the rouge, she thought, not the dirty rouge who was also another mare.
She found herself out of bed and staring at herself in the mirror already having gone through half of her morning rituals, her eyelashes and makeup having been placed without her remembering she had done so.
Another mare, she thought. Her mind played back the events from yesterday while her hooves busied themselves with their tasks. Rainbow Dash had found a lover--before her--and, before Applejack. Applejack, who was looking into dating other mares, or was it a single mare? Who was this mystery mare? She had to find out. She could feel the unease continue to grow in her body.
With one last tug of her curls to see them give a satisfying bounce, Rarity found herself downstairs. She looked through her schedule, making some marks to move a few tasks to a later date. She took in a calming breath, centering herself, before she opened the front door to walk her sister to school.
"Hi, sis!" Sweetie Belle squeaked. She quickly trotted in front of Apple Bloom and Applejack, who were walking her way, to give her a hug.
"Hi, Sweetie Belle. You look marvelous today."
Rarity looked up to wave at her walking companions. Applejack wasn't looking at her, but at Apple Bloom. She noticed a slight sheen on Applejack's freckled cheek and blond hair that ran down her back to curve around her… Rarity considered the etiquette and phrasing involved to describe another mare's cutie mark, among other features. It was like the pleasant gloss on a hard, chiseled statue in Canterlot.
"Did you get enough sleep?" Sweetie Belle asked.
Rarity checked her face with a hoof. "Why do you ask?"
"I don't know," Sweetie Belle dug through her school saddlebag. "Cheerilee asked me to give you this. What does she mean?"
"Let me read it first." Rarity eyed the small piece of paper.
Rarity,
Today in class Sweetie Belle told me that she would be reviewing "Wicked Desire", a book released very recently, for an assignment on classical literature. I asked her who had given her the idea, and she told me it was you. Please keep your adult novels out of reach of children.
Thank you.
P. S. Were you surprised at the pairing and ending as much as I was?
Rarity took another calming breath, centering herself, and took out a pencil from Sweetie Belle's saddlebag to write a reply on the back of the paper.
"So, what does she mean? Are classical books not adult books?" Sweetie Belle asked.
A distant memory crept into Rarity's head of her father and mother having to talk to her about a similar situation, when her teacher had discovered her reading such a book. Her mother had come to her room later, after she was grounded, to tell her that she would take the blame for her, claiming she was reading it and that Rarity had been merely curious. She gave the book back to her in secret trust, telling her to keep it better hidden next time. She loved her mother.
"You can tell me later," Sweetie Belle all but groaned. "Come on, you're going to make me late for school!"
Rarity felt Applejack looking at her.
"Would you care to join me in escorting these little ladies to class, madam?" Applejack offered her arm.
Rarity couldn't help but smirk, turning her nose upward. "I would love to," she walked past Applejack, making a show of refusing to accept her arm, "But apparently they think I did not sleep well and that I look hideous."
"Oh, come on! I didn't say that," Sweetie Belle said.
"And I didn't say anything!" Apple Bloom added.
Applejack motioned for the two fillies to follow. "Well, I think you look mighty pretty today," she said, after catching up next to her.
Rarity felt the unease from earlier return. She slowly turned to face Applejack with a brow raised in question.
"I mean, uh," Applejack stumbled as if she had said something improper, "I'm always surprised at the effort you put into making yourself look good. I know I never could, so I gave up."
"Oh, Applejack," Rarity fawned as they walked together, "I am sure you put in enough effort with your farm and having to wake up so early every day." She paused, in thought. With her own parents fresh in memory, it crossed her mind that she could have just as well included a comment about Applejack's family, and her having to take the place of her parents for her sister.
Another memory followed, where Applejack had helped her reconnect to her own sister. It was like baking apple pie, she vaguely remembered her explaining it. The unease came back to her, tightening her throat.
"Your work ethic has been an inspiration in my own affairs, for sure."
Applejack smiled in reply, keeping an eye on their sisters as if they were their children.
The sun's warmth touched Rarity. Peeking through trees and between houses, it gently touched the rest of Ponyville as well. She could hear the gentle sounds of the sun slowly waking up the town, behind the excited chatter and giggles of their sisters as they skipped passed them.
She turned to face her walking companion again. Applejack looked happy, as if this were some rare treat, she thought. They did this enough to make it quite common. This was a day like any other before it or that would come after it.
The sun shouldn't feel so warm this early in the morning, she thought. There was nothing special about walking their sisters to school.
Did Applejack always smile like that, she wondered. She looked at her freckles and the crystal-like shine that still covered her cheeks. They had been crystal ponies, once upon a time. Things are better when they're a rarity , she recalled Applejack's harmless comment about it.
The growing unease tightened further, causing Rarity to cough several times.
"You okay?"
"Yes, fine dear."
An exchange that could have just as well come from an old married couple, Rarity cursed herself in thought. This was a day like any other. She repeated this mantra, still searching for her center.
"Something on your mind, sugarcube?"
"Hm? Oh, nothing."
Applejack eyed her as if she were about to faint. She knew Applejack would catch her. She sometimes secretly thought of her best friend as her second fainting couch.
Before she could giggle at the thought, she heard Lyra say hi from across the street, to see Lyra's best friend, Bon Bon, give her a suspicious smile and wave from beside her. Applejack waved back, oblivious. Rarity gave a nod, clenched her teeth, and strained her eyes, looking down at her hooves.
She recently had visited Bon Bon to purchase some sweets. And, while there, she had listened to her talk about her best friend, Lyra. By the way she could not talk about anything besides Lyra, she could tell they were very close friends. They were the best of friends, practically inseparable. The subtext was not lost on Rarity. She has read many romance novels, after all.
"So, I read the note from Cheerilee."
Rarity gave Applejack her full attention. "And?"
"I didn't mean to, if that's what you're thinking." She kicked the dirt road as they walked, Rarity frowning at the action. "Just that your sister was making a fuss about it with Apple Bloom and they kind of showed it to me."
"I see." Rarity said with unease.
"Don't worry, I won't think any less of ya." Applejack's smile turned into one of concern. "It's easy to get your head lost in the clouds, getting caught up in how you wish things would happen, or how you wish people would see you, like in them stories." A gentle breeze ran through her hair. "I know you read a lot of those trashy romance novels."
"They're not," Rarity coughed, and continued in a calmer tone, "How did you know?"
"Talking with your father."
"Ah, yes. My father," Rarity grumbled. A thought struck her, "When did you find time to talk with him? It must have been an odd conversation for such a thing to have come up."
"It was an easy-going talk," Applejack bit her lips, a remembrance of panic clear on her face, "Just found him walking around with your mother. It wasn't about anything important." Applejack let out a long breath, and relaxed. "He loves you very much. Your mom, too."
"Well, I'm glad you had a talk with them to clear that up."
"One of the hardest talks of my life."
"Applejack, I thought you said…" Rarity let the question hang in the air between them, suddenly very curious of Applejack's face and wanting to rid herself of the strangling unease that was defining her day.
"I noticed you have a bit of sweat on you," Rarity continued. "Is it apple bucking season already?"
"No, I just thought to take a shower before I came by."
"Didn't you think to dry off before leaving?"
"Well," Applejack looked at something far in the distance, "It was a long shower."
"That's no excuse." Rarity was locked onto her face. She began to count the freckles.
"Before I knew it, Apple Bloom came a hollering about being late for class, so I did a rushed job. It's not like I'm that wet. Figure it'll rub off soon enough."
Rarity's mind wandered into places she knew were far from proper. If Applejack would accompany her to the spa without getting sidetracked fixing everyone else's plumbing, she could show the silly mare how to properly shower and dry herself. It's not like she hasn't had her magic all over her body when fitting and dressing her at her shop. It was something she did with everypony. It was all so very common.
"You sure you're okay, sugarcube? I can tell when you've got something on your mind."
"What gives me away, darling?"
"I don't know," Applejack considered the question. "I can just tell."
"It's nothing." Rarity felt the unease choke her.
"Does it have something to do with them romance novels of yours?"
Rarity didn't reply. She noticed the school quickly approaching.
So did Applejack, and she let out a frustrated grunt.
"Darn it, Rares! I hate seeing you get like this. You get so worked up and sweet on somepony that ain't good for you." Applejack stomped a hoof, making a minor dust cloud on impact. "I'm beginning to think it's those books' fault. They're doing some kind of number with your head."
Without hesitation, Rarity levitated a napkin to wipe the fresh dirt off of Applejack's hoof. Before Applejack could protest, she answered, "Keep it up and we'll march right back to your house for another shower." She made to put the napkin away, but on a whim, brushed it across Applejack's flank to speed along the drying process.
Applejack's eyes went wide and her mouth opened as if she would have objected.
"Besides," Rarity noted in such a way to remind herself that this was a day like any other, "If it wasn't for those books, I would have no romance in my life at all."
"That ain't true!"
"How so, dear heart?" Rarity asked.
Applejack stopped. "Hey, we're here! How about that?" She waved at their sisters as they waved back, running to meet with their friends outside the schoolhouse. "Y'all be good now!"
Rarity waited.
"Well, I guess that's that. It was nice walking with you and all, but I got to get back to the farm."
Rarity shifted her weight on her hooves, and continued to wait for an answer. The unease had become something else and prevented her from any other course of action.
"Okay, was nice seeing you," Applejack left with a nod.
"Jacqueline Apple! You turn around right this instant!"
Applejack did so.
"You," Rarity scowled. "You stupid, stupid pony!"
"Hey now, let's not argue, sugarcube. I can't take it again." Applejack paused. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I figured we could let bygones be bygones. I didn't want to bring it up cause I don't like seeing you upset. Still don't know what caused it, but I'm sorry for whatever it was."
A bell struck the schoolyard followed by the sound of fillies and colts scurrying up steps and through a door. They found themselves alone.
"Who is she?" Rarity asked.
"Who is what now?"
"The mystery mare."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Applejack thought for a moment. "Oh, you mean that getup we did to get back at Rainbow Dash, right? What about it?"
Rarity didn't answer.
Applejack wiped her forehead under her hat. "You sure you're okay?"
Rarity turned her lips into a smile and forced a laugh, "Yes, darling, I'm quite alright. Thanks for asking." She tried to remember a pose or mannerism, but gave up, opting for what she hoped was a sincere smile. "It is a lovely day. A shame that we must both go back to work and can't enjoy it more."
"I enjoyed it plenty," Applejack drawled. "I work outside everyday. It's nothing rare to me, not without you." She winked.
Rarity closed her eyes. She wanted to punch Applejack, and then herself. She wanted the sun to stop its rise and to stop burning her cheeks. She wanted to run away, but instead, she slowly turned to leave and waved goodbye.
You stupid, stupid book, she thought. This was a simple day. It was the book's fault for making it seem as if it were something strange and queer.
She did not look back, but knew Applejack stood where she had left her, her eyes never leaving her, regardless the distance, until she had softly closed the door of her home, her back against it. She slid down into her arms, weeping alone.
Rarity Reads a Trashy Romance Novel
Wicked Strike rattled the chains around her hooves, testing their hold on her.
The massive pony before her made to speak, but she rattled her chains again, drowning out his voice.
With a smug grin, Wicked Strike asked, "Do ya really think I care to hear another monologue from you today?"
Solemno sat himself on the throne. He rubbed his chin with one hoof, rubbing the ball of the throne's armrest with the other. Through a purple haze around his eyes, he looked past Wicked, down the towering hall of bricks and banners bearing Prince Glistening Sword's cutie crest. He listened to his soldiers as they dragged the remains of the night's battle out of the castle.
"You do not seem to understand the position you are in," He boomed, turning an ear to hear it reverb down the giant hall. Satisfied, he continued in the same voice, "This is mine, now."
"Until I run a sword through you."
"Even in such a predicament, Wicked Strike's tongue thinks itself bold." Solemno sighed. "This is your last chance."
"Like I said: I aint doing nothing for you, not without a sword."
"Pity," the massive pony tapped his hoof. "You think you have a choice." He stood up, using magic to adjust his cape and tighten his armor out of idle habit. "This is your last chance to do something for me, and you shall. You will take credit for killing Glistening Sword."
"Like hay I will! He was my friend," Wicked Strike raised an accusing hoof, the chains no longer making any sound, "And I promised him I'd put a stick in ya and call ya dead."
"Spare me, Wicked. Such a name your parents gave you. Fitting, really." Solemno leered at her, smacking his lips. "Fair Desire, though, now that is a pretty name, don't you think?"
Wicked Strike lunged at Solemno, but was stopped in his dark magical aura.
"Now, now, Wicked, let's not be savages about this. I could snap your body in half if I was so inclined. And if you don't do what I tell you to, Fair Desire could find herself faced with the same problem."
Wicked Strike was let go from his magic and she fell to the ground in defeat.
"What do you want of me?"
"I want you to take credit for killing Prince Sword. You will tell nopony it was me. You will allow yourself to be arrested by the guards and you will be thrown in jail. They will hold a trial where you will plead guilty. And," Solemno laughed, turning an amused ear to hear it echo down the hall, "You will be executed for your crime."
"And Fair Desire?"
"I will not lay a hoof on her, or even an eye. She will be of no concern to me. You have my word."
"That don't mean much."
"I'm afraid it's all you have, you sorry sack of a mare."
The only thought in Wicked Strike's mind during the events that followed was of Fair Desire's safety. That, and the sad realization that she would hate her for this, never knowing she was the reason she was doing it. But such was their relationship, she thought, a series of good deeds and love that Desire hardly noticed, done in secret faith.
How can one be a martyr if nopony knows their sacrifice?
Rarity closed the book and floated it atop a stack of other books hidden behind clothes in a closet. She could not finish it. She could not trust it. It lied to her about what it was, and it was very likely that it would break genre expectations and destroy her with its ending.
She wanted to punch something. She wanted to scream.
Looking past a curtain, it was dark outside.
She slid off her bed onto her equally cozy carpet. She paced around the room, thinking about the book. It was a liar. It was awful and it was not worth her time. It knew the formula and played with it as if it had the right. Perhaps to shock its audience and sell more copies, she found herself nodding her head. The lowest point where everything goes wrong was supposed to happen before the final act, not during it. They were supposed to have a chance to recover and try again.
She placed her hooves shoulder-length apart into a practiced stance. She controlled her breathing, enlarging it.
There was supposed to be a happy ending!
She punched the air, repeatedly, with controlled strikes and without mercy.
After a sweat had formed on her brow, and after many grunts from the workout, she laid on the floor, looking up at her ceiling, following the various lines and curves of its trim and woodwork.
Through her labored breaths, she found her thoughts too large to keep in her head, softly speaking them aloud, "This wasn't how it was supposed to be."
She closed her eyes and thought long and hard, pulling a small thought out from the depths of her mind, "All I wanted was somepony special. Not her," she choked back something in her throat. "You're such a drama queen. How did it come to this? Is this really what you want?"
She gave a small laugh. "Maybe she was right. Maybe those books are bad for me." She lifted herself up. "Why does she have to be so good, and make me be so bad," she almost purred the words in amusement.
With a silly thought, she looked into the mirror. A mare with a ghostly luster stared back at her. Her hair was damp and out of place, making her look like a completely different pony.
"I will be the rogue this time." She pulled her hair over one eye. "And she will be my wicked desire."
She shared a nod with her reflection and the pact was sealed.
Tucking herself back into bed, she brought the book back from the closet, and flipped the pages to a section she remembered taking place somewhere in the middle. It was the part where they had escaped the prison and found lodging at an inn on the outskirts of the kingdom. It was there that Fair Desire had made her move after realizing her feelings, much to Wicked Strike's horror and later pleasure. Fair Desire took the lead and took her mare that night.
Rarity hummed devilishly. She read the section again, lowering herself deeper into hot satin sheets, a warmth touching her that the sun could only dream of giving.
Rarity Reads a Trashy Romance Novel
7 - Taking Care of Rarity's Plumbing
Rarity slammed the door behind her, huffing in panic.
She surveyed her shop and home. It was immaculate, of course. She screamed in frustration.
With a whiz of her horn, the curtains dropped on all windows, instantly darkening the area. She quickly lit a candle, and then another, and then some more that were elegantly arranged across her home as accents, that were never meant to be used.
Above her head, a thin red fabric roll floated in her magic's grip. It was rolled out, folded, and folded again in on itself several times before she sheared it with practiced ease. She slowed her actions, squinting in concentration, to cut a delicate heart shape. She soon had hundreds of hearts above her and scattered them from the door to the main room and beyond.
She considered cutting out some more, but of apples and diamonds. No, there was no time!
She looked around, frantically. She was the only moving object among a storeroom full of lifeless pony manikins, lavishly decorated walls, and expensively jeweled furniture. She caught herself in the mirror. She looked like she had been outside all day. Her hair was deformed as if it had been in a hat all day as well. And her smell! She ran up the stairs into her bathroom and turned a couple of knobs to run water and bombed it with several fragrances and opened bottles.
She was instantly standing naked in the tub, her hooves alternating tiny splashes as she pranced in place and panic. "Come on, come on! Can't you fill any faster!"
Once the tub was filled, she sank into her bath with a sigh. She took her time cleaning herself. This was not something to rush, she thought.
Finishing, she stepped onto a bathmat and dried off, making sure to leave no trace of water, save for her hair, which she did her best to pat dry. She wrapped it in a clean towel. She used her magic to grab the drain plug, but stopped. The sink!
She bit her bottom lip. The sink, it was supposed to be in need of repair. That was the whole point of this insanity! Did she have to break it, or could she play it cool and have Applejack not mind that she had lied?
She cursed herself, and ran downstairs into the kitchen.
She swung open the cabinet doors beneath the kitchen sink, violently. She opened a nearby drawer to pull out a wrench. She tightened it onto the sink's drain line and spun it around madly. It came loose and she repeated the process with another nut on the line, to then drop the wrench and think, what next?
Water! She needed it to look like a mess. She couldn't run the sink as she just had disassembled the drain and her cabinet and floor would be ruined. Come on, Rarity, think, she thought. What a foalish dilemma to put herself in. She lit up in realization--the tub upstairs!
She ran upstairs into the humid air of the bathroom. Taking out a towel, to then shrug and take out all her towels, she shoved them into the tub, which was still full of her bath water. In and out and swishing them around, she soaked them. Satisfied, she ran back downstairs into the kitchen and threw them all over the room.
Applejack could be here any minute!
She rushed back upstairs and began work on her hair, makeup, and… what would she wear? While on autopilot, she let her mind wander through the catalog of her personal collection of clothes. Something plain and simple, like her farmer? No, she scolded herself, Applejack was anything but plain and simple. Something elegant and flashy, like she had worn on what she had hoped would be romantic encounters? No, this had to be different.
Should she go naked? Applejack probably would be, save for maybe a tool belt. She pictured it and hummed to herself, flicking the image around with her tongue. No, she slapped herself with her brush--don't be silly! Silly? You crazy foal, you are well past that line of decorum, she screamed mentally. Was this a mistake? Maybe she could call it off. Yes, she agreed, maybe it was for the best. Maybe she was getting carried away. She could blame the book--Applejack blamed the book.
Two consecutive knocks rang out throughout her house like an invading army was ramming her door down.
"Applejack!" She had no time left. She put the finishing touches to her hair and grabbed the nearest piece of clothing she had, which happened to be a frilly-laced bathrobe. She raced out of her bedroom, but stopped to complete the look with matching slippers. She passed on the matching earrings with a great pain in her heart.
She stood before the main door, feeling overly nervous. What would be her opening pose and line, she thought. Standing on all fours unnaturally, like she had just been standing there the whole time? She backed up, and seeing a book on her sofa, she jumped onto it and quickly assumed a lounging position, opening the book to a random page.
"Applejack, dear, is that you?"
"Yeah, it's me," came a muffled cowpony reply.
"The door's open--please do come in!"
Rarity grimaced. She could feel the sweat roll over her. Dabbing herself with a nearby piece of fabric, she listened as the door opened and closed. Unmistakable hoofsteps followed.
"Where're you at? And what happened to the lights?"
"I'm on the sofa, darling."
"Want me to open some curtains?" Applejack asked as she spotted the sofa, only seeing its back. She walked around it. "Did you fall asleep, again? I swear, sugarcube, you're sleepier than a..." Her voice wandered away, leaving her alone with the other pony in a candlelit room.
"Than a what, darling?" Rarity asked in a drawl, blinking her eyelashes several times.
Applejack swallowed, hard. Before her laid Rarity, on her side, head propped up by a single hoof beneath her chin. Her lacy bathrobe spilled off her flank, exposing her crossed legs, the loose fuzzy belt trailing down her torso and off the sofa like a ribbon from an opened present.
Applejack's eyes felt a heavy weight as they surveyed the well-maintained pony before her. Her gaze lowered down her muzzle and lips, to her resting hoof that held open a book.
"Land sakes, is this how you usually read your romance stories?"
"What?" Rarity slid herself up onto the armrest. "No, this is--you know what? It doesn't matter what this is." She flung the book behind her with her magic. "What matters is you and me, and our pressing needs," she said, as she flicked her robe back, to place a hind leg on the floor, followed by the other.
"Heh, you're making me feel a tad under-dressed," Applejack tried to smile. "You did say you needed help with your sink, right?" She felt her legs giving out on her. She must have worked herself harder than she realized, she thought.
Rarity snaked her hoof around Applejack's neck. "Yes, of course! My poor kitchen is wet and I really, really need somepony with a strong hoof to sort me out."
Applejack stood motionless with Rarity wrapping herself around her dramatically.
"You mean to sort it out, right?"
"Yes, dear, that's what I said." Rarity rubbed her cheek against Applejack's. "You have come to my rescue. However will I repay you?"
Applejack couldn't move. "Well, you can start by letting me go fix it first."
Rarity let her go and strutted to the kitchen doorway. "By all means, darling. It's right here. Come and get it."
With eyes and ears searching for other ponies and any sign of an incoming prank, Applejack trotted to meet her. Rarity stepped aside, but not entirely, to let her in. Applejack's eyes implored her to make some more room, and she could have sworn Rarity shook her head no, ever so slightly. She squeezed through, feeling Rarity's soft bathrobe as she went, and a light tap from her tail after making it through.
Candlelight danced across the tiles of the kitchen. There were candles in the kitchen, Applejack took note. She didn't ask.
Stepping over a few damp towels randomly scattered across the floor, she made it to the sink. Although she didn't turn her head to look back, she knew Rarity was nearby, like some kind of eloquent ghost. There was something strange in the air that she couldn't quite place.
Without a word, she opened the cabinet under the sink to take a look. It was dark.
"Could you bring one of them candles down here?"
Rarity did so with her magic.
"Alright, well, I'll just get to it then."
"Ah-ah-ah, darling! Your hat." Rarity lifted it with her magic.
Applejack turned to look at her, already on the ground ready to enter underneath. Rarity moved her hat onto the counter, but the magic lingered over it, not quite ready to let it be. Applejack watched in deep concern as it drifted away, the unicorn apparently having changed her mind. Slowly it floated above Rarity and down onto her head. She was now wearing her hat.
"Don't worry, darling. I'll keep it warm."
"Thanks," was all Applejack could think to say. She felt very over her head as she scooted into the cabinet on her back.
She gave the plumbing a brief once-over and saw only a few nuts loose. Rolling her head to each side to investigate, she did not notice any water damage. Everything looked more or less as pristine as its owner. All she saw was a wrench. This had to be a prank, she thought.
Raising her head to look back out, she caught Rarity standing a pace away from her legs, looking right back at her. Rarity kept her eyes on her, not even pretending to look away having been caught staring. Applejack suddenly felt very trapped. Rarity's eyes shifted downward and her grin grew. Applejack slammed her legs together, carefully crossing them over and under each other.
"Looks like someone loosened things up," Applejack said, promptly biting her tongue after the words left her mouth. "They even left the wrench."
"How dreadful! Perhaps it was our sisters playing a joke on me." Rarity faked a toothy grin, feeling the blush of a lie take her.
"Maybe," Applejack pondered. "Wouldn't be surprised if they were trying their hand at plumbing or something. We'll ask them about it later."
Grabbing the wrench with her mouth, Applejack fitted it on the bolts and began the tedious process of winding it around with her hooves. Once she finished, she called out, "Okay, that should do it. Would you mind turning on the water to check?"
"With pleasure," Rarity exhaled. She walked forward, slowly, delicately over Applejack. She lifted herself up to rest her hooves on the counter.
Feeling Rarity's legs touch her sides, Applejack lifted her head to see herself laying between them. She cleared her increasingly dry throat. "Whenever you're ready."
The sound of running water splashed against metal and carried through the pipes in one fluid movement. Applejack let out a deep breath, oddly relieved.
Rarity lowered herself, at first squatting, to then straddle Applejack.
With a giggle to scare away the sheer terror racing through her system, she faked a pout, "Finished so soon?"
Applejack gulped, very audibly, "Reckon so."
"It's a pity," Rarity looked anywhere but Applejack's face, fidgeting with the lace of her bathrobe. "I was hoping you could show me a thing or two so I could get my hooves," she winced, "Wet."
"Rares, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm perfectly fine, darling," Rarity lied. "You are very nice to ask such things. In fact, somepony might think you care a lot about me. I mean," she leaned back, feeling more of her warm orange seat as she did so, eliciting a soft throaty moan in surprise. "Oh, my! If, if we didn't know each other so well and how much we liked to argue, I could see somepony seeing us like this and thinking we were, well, that we..." She buried her face into her hooves, giving up on whatever she was trying to say.
Applejack sighed, and could not help but smile--for her and for the situation they put themselves in. She reached with her hooves to rest them on Rarity's hips. This was a small moment she wanted to herself before it left her. She knew such small things were rare and not to be taken for granted.
Feeling the intimate and awkward air between them, she greedily took in one last moment, and patted a diamonded hip.
"This was some crazy idea from one of your books, wasn't it?"
She listened for a pause and a sniff.
"Yes."
"Your sink was never broken, I'm guessing?"
"It made so much more sense in my head. I've ruined it. I've ruined everything!" Rarity all but sobbed into her hooves.
Applejack stroked the legs still straddling her. "Must have been some story to get you to try something like this."
"No, it wasn't. It was a trashy, filthy thing. Just like me."
"Don't say that." Applejack rested her head inside the cabinet, staring at the curvy drain pipe above her as candlelight flicked its shadow across the small space.
"Well, it's true. Me, who is always going on about romance and proper courtship, doing something so... unbecoming of a lady. I can't recall the number of times I have tried to instruct you on the subject, or how to play the damsel, or how to dress, how to act." Rarity wiped her eyes. "And me, could you ever believe I knew so little and could act like such an emotional filly about it?"
"Never in a thousand years," Applejack smiled, thinking of the Rarity she knew, perhaps better than she knew herself. Memories of her own childhood stirred in her head--images of a filly who wore dresses and pretended to be a lot of things.
"I've made things weird, haven't I?" Rarity whined. "Do you hate me, Applejack?"
Slowly, and with great effort, Applejack propped herself up with her hooves out from under the sink. They stared at each other, searching the other's face for answers, lips parted with questions.
An orange hoof rose through the thick air between them. Its destination seemed to be Rarity's face. She closed her eyes, cheeks blushing in anticipation.
She felt Applejack's hat lift away from her.
Applejack put it back on, and watched the flurry of emotions that stormed across Rarity's face: surprise, heartbreak, anger, and even a little amusement.
An orange hoof rose again to bop Rarity's lips.
Rarity fell into Applejack, laughing, hugging her warmly, feeling their bodies rub and softly bounce against each other. A small, familiar thought came to her in that moment. It was so small that she had thought she would never find it again. She wrapped her leg around it. And she laid there, on top, putting her weight onto it to keep it from leaving her.
"Okay now, heh," Applejack could still feel Rarity titter in small bursts of happy laughter, with the mare's head tucked between her shoulder and cheek. "It's getting to be a bit heavy."
Rarity lifted herself to give Applejack the largest frown she could muster through her smiling.
"Fine, I see how it is. You do hate me."
And with that, they soon found themselves standing across from each other, in more familiar positions.
"Hey now, I never said that."
"I am deeply sorry, Applejack. I'm glad we can laugh about it, but I can understand if I crossed a line."
"Look, Rares, it's okay." Applejack lowered her head in thought and gave a small nod to herself. "You know what? It's more than okay."
"But, Applejack, I--"
"Listen, and let me talk for one darn second." Applejack took a deep breath. "I know it's crazy and silly and whatever, but I'm glad it happened." She looked up. "I'm glad it happens. We've been through a lot of interesting adventures. And I may not seem thrilled at the time, but I always look back at them fondly. They always end with us being happy with each other."
"What are you saying, darling?"
"I'm trying to tell you that I don't hate you. I know we're different ponies, but we're not so different in what counts. You know that. I know that. And even the stuff that drives me up the wall with you and all our arguing--you know what? I kind of like it. I know ponies like to think of me as a boring farmer with a simple life--"
"You're anything but, darling," Rarity whispered.
"And maybe I am, I don't know. But what I do know is that, what I guess I'm trying to say is, well..." Applejack looked away. After a breath, she grabbed her hat and put it on Rarity, giving her a light jab across the cheek. "You make this cowpony's life pretty interesting, partner."
"Applejack..." Rarity almost cried.
Applejack gave her a wink and walked away.
"Applejack!" Rarity shouted with a tinge of anger, "What makes you think you can just walk away from a lady after saying all of that?"
"Rares, it's as clear as day that neither of us really knows what we're doing. I figure I've helped you with what you needed and it's time for me to go."
"Please, don't go."
"I'm not going to be gone forever, you crazy mare. Let's just follow our hearts and not think about what we're supposed to do or impressing anyone but each other. Deal?"
"I suppose I could submit to that."
"Great. Well, I'll be seeing you, sugarcube."
"Wait! What about your hat?"
"Oh, that little thing?" Applejack beamed. "Figured you can hold onto it for now. Maybe," she tapped her hoof in thought, "Return it to me tomorrow night when I stop by to pick you up for dinner."
Rarity lifted a hoof to touch the hat, making sure it was real. Her heart danced inside her, causing the rest of her to softly prance in place.
Applejack tipped an imaginary hat and left.
Rarity let out a sharp squeal and raced to her bedroom. Madly digging through her closet, she found the book and slammed it against her bosom. Jumping onto her bed as if she were a cowpony, she hugged the hardback, entangling herself in sheets as she rolled around with it.
She stopped to find her breath and to place it down. She gave it a look before throwing it open to her bookmark. With newfound courage, she read the final chapter.
Rarity Reads a Trashy Romance Novel
Wicked Strike, true to her name and her promise, dragged the late prince's legendary sword, Excalimare, out from Solemno and let it drop to the floor like it were a cheap toy.
It clanked against the hard marble floor. She swiveled an ear to hear it echo down the great hallway of the throne room. She found the sound satisfying.
A wet thud and few more clinks followed as Solemno's lifeless and armored body rolled off the throne it had once claimed as its own, leaving it empty. Wicked Strike regarded it for a moment. It was so small in the large hallway. It was difficult to accept something so small could lead to such trouble, she thought, but she figured the allure of its fantasy and promise was quite large.
She rose her hoof to stare in quiet wonder as the purple haze soaked it black. It had traveled from Solemno's wound, through the magical sword, and into her, somehow. She could care less how or why. She could hardly care as it tainted her entire arm, its tiny magical fingers clawing it from the inside in pain, her vision taking a purple hue.
Stumbling toward a nearby wall, she punched it with her ruined hoof. It left a hole. She could no longer feel it. She no longer wanted to feel anything.
She dragged herself down the steps of the throne, headed to an outside balcony. She could feel the simple breeze of a calm night brush through her hair. She shut her eye in a pain that she desperately tried to ignore. She continued to drag herself, knowing all she had to do was climb over the edge and she could be finished, with everything.
"Wicked!"
The voice boomed down the great hall and hit her. She ignored it and the growing pain, using her good hoof to drag her further to her goal.
"Wicked, is that you?"
A frantic clatter of hooves drowned out the question, running toward her location. She had made it out through the door and into the night air. It was so peaceful and beautiful, she thought, she could not help but cry because of it and nothing else.
"Wicked, you're hurt!"
Two white hooves seized her, stopping her crawl. A pony was over her, holding her back. She was so close. The ledge was a few hooves away. She closed her eye hard, to prevent the tears from spilling.
"Your arm! We have to get this out of you!" She could feel a unicorn's magical touch envelope her hoof, lifting it upright, as if it were reaching for Luna's moon. She wept openly.
"Stop it!" Wicked Strike shouted. "I'm finished, okay? Ya need to get your hooves off of me. Wouldn't want them to get dirty."
"I will do no such thing!" The magic aura grew in intensity, shifting through hues as it clashed with the dark energy.
"Fair Desire, you listen here! It's in me now. Nothing I or you can do, can do anything about it. I've accepted it. I will not allow it to hurt you, not anymore--now let me go!"
"No, you stupid mare!" Fair Desire grabbed the oddly cold body and held it close, in a fierce embrace.
"I love you." Wicked offered to the night, staring into the moon.
Fair Desire held her horn on Wicked's forehead, magic sparking out of it and engulfing both ponies into a thick white shell of energy. The energy shrank into a ball around Wicked's hoof, trapping the dark magic inside of it. Wicked watched the wild magic swirl the air around them, to see Fair Desire struggling to contain it, unsure what to do next but keeping it within her magical grasp, never wanting to let go.
Wicked raised her hoof and pointed it to the sky. Her eye found the moon high above. She kept it in her vision and mind as strongly as she could hold onto anything in her rapidly fleeing consciousness.
And she kissed her.
In that moment through the magical chaos, they saw into each other's thoughts.
The white ball of magic rocketed into space, vanishing, leaving the two to collapse into each other.
As they came to, they found themselves in a hug.
"I get it, you stupid pony," Fair Desire softly spoke, looking beyond the stars. "Never let me go, ever again."
Rarity closed the book.
The world felt larger than it had ever felt before. And somehow, against it all, she felt no smaller in it.
