Author's Note
Note: This will never be a real thing. I did this on a whim after watching Lost Narrator's April Fools video. I love her fic readings, and the fact that she HATES My Little Dashie XD. Consider this a very late April Fools fic of my very own.
Is this a Dream?
Of all the days that it had to happen to me, it had to be on a Monday. I couldn't explain it, but something else felt off from the moment that I woke up. It almost felt like Groundhog day, only without the day repeating itself. I just couldn't put my finger on it right away.
Something told me that today was going to be different. way different. IT wasn't like I was expecting to wake up and find a magical talking pony on my doorstep. I had been fond of the show for years. It's what got me back into taking up art. I had felt burned out for years what with the job I had and all and had just about given up on doing anything with my real talent. Then I found out about aq show about magical talking ponies and next thing you know I was drawing up a storm again, exploring different mediums and throwing the ponies into whatever situation crossed my mind.
Sending them into far off Galaxies, or to the lands created by JRR Tolkien. Whatever my mind came up with, I put it to pen and paper. I don't know why but I had this thing about making Rainbow Dash into an Assassin straight out of Assassin's Creed. Or turning Twilight into the Next Darth Sidious.
Then I woke up today, opened the door, and found a charcoal gray unicorn sitting in a box outside of my front door. I could tell right away that I wasn't dreaming, and I wasn't drunk again. There really was a magical pony sitting right in front of me. Before I could even react, it spoke. And in a colorful language that I was all too familiar with.
"What the fuck,", it said before continuing," Why the fuck am I toddler, and Why am I in a Fucking Box?!"
I could only stare at it before it looked up and noticed me.
And gave me what amounted to a facial Fuck off in the process.
"Um, You want to come with me, I mean, before someone calls the government maybe", to which she told me with absolute certainty," Fuck No!,", all I could do was stare at her baffled. The last time something like this happened, some pony named Fluttershy got hauled off by the government in a van owned by the CIA.
After a moment of staring at me, she finally caved and said," Alright, but only if you have some alcohol in the fridge." I nodded yes and picked up and the box, taking it inside the house. I opened the door to the fridge and grabbed 2 Heineken's. As time went on, she grew to a normal size you'd expect for a pony. At least normal as far as I considered it. She stayed in the upstairs bedroom while I stayed on the couch.
All I could think of was thank Celestia that my name isn't Wuten or something. Or that I'm climbing up someone's window to steal or ransom their microphone. Although I could picture myself sitting at the local Denny's eating a stack of Banana Nut pancakes right about now.
The next day would be pretty interesting, to say the least. My self-published comic finally got some notice from people that followed me on Deviantart, so I decided to start on the next issue early. That was at the time that there came a knock at the door. And it didn't sound like a hand, it was too heavy sounding for that.
I opened the door to find two more ponies standing outside. One was a gray stallion and the other was a pink coated unicorn mare. It was a little awkward for this to happen two times I a row now, even if it had been a month since the first pony showed up. The stallion was the first to speak up.
"So I hear that you found a little lost asshole?", that was putting it mildly.
"1 sec, Hey Lost, there's someone here to see you." and with that, she came to the top of the stairs. When I saw the look in her eyes, even I knew it was time to take cover.
"Guti!, What the fuck?!", yep, a perfect time to take cover when she had that tone in her voice.
"Hey, It wasn't my fault!" he said back to her. That was when she looked over his shoulder to see a pink coated mare writing something down onto a scroll.
"It would require the ultimate feels," the Pink coated unicorn uttered. To which a voice seemed to speak the same words out of nowhere.
"Mag, Seriously!?;" Lost bounded down the stairs, and right out the door after the pony named Mag. I could hear her threaten to raspberry her or something. I turned to the one standing next to me. We both shared an awkward glance with each other.
"So,", I said to Guti,"You think I could trade Losty for Berry Punch when this is done?", to which he could only shrug and tell me maybe.
I woke up the next day thinking that it was all a dream of some sort until I looked in the fridge to find half of my beer gone and a note taped to the door. i had to rub my eyes to make sure i was reading the note correctly.
"Thanks for the beer, Your Friend Losty."
"PS: I also jacked all your Ritz Crackers, Cheez-its, and those 4 packs of Oreos you had hidden in the cupboard, so you'll have to buy more. Also, i may come back to visit someday."
Celestia Damn it Lost. The rest of the stuff I understand. But why the fuck did you have to hijack my Oreos. XD
An Unexpected escape from Reality
There were so many things going through my mind right now. Most of which was the fact that if I accepted this, I'd never be able to return to my world.
"Let's go,", I told them. I was ready to leave this life behind in favor of something new and refreshing.
There were times in my life where it felt like the entire thing was a lemon and all i wanted was the money back. Everything before the day i met them felt as defective as hell. It was like some outside force was always sabotaging or derailing everything i had ever put any real effort into. And it was annoying as hell too. It was like a never ending attack and a lie at the same time. And i could never catch a break. I did have a few good memories, but not so much lately. Almost 30 and living on the fringe was how i felt most of the time.
Then i met my new friends and things improved for a while. Its not all bad, just funny at times when Lost and the others are around. I feel a renewed creativity when Mag is over, and I don't know if its natural, or because of some magic scroll she's writing on, but I don't care. I've felt alive more now than I had when I was a kid.
Then i realized it could be one of those situations where I'm stuck in the body of a pony. I am not kidding. And that's exactly what happened within the next 5 days. I found myself transported to 'Their" world as Mag called it. And all it took was touching the base of a High School statue. Apparently, it contained a portal to their dimension.
i walked/trotted aways before finding a pond to take a drink from. I looked down and saw my reflection, i was relieved somewhat to see that I wasn't a unicorn, no offense to my friends, but i did feel a pang of joy when i noticed something else.
I had WINGS!
I was a pegasus to be exact.
Now my new life would begin and i wouldn't have to worry about anything from my old life. I was ready for whatever was going to be thrown my way now. That and i was already starting to attract some of the mares in Ponyville. Especially two pegasi sisters named Flitter and Cloudchaser.
And they were twins apparently.
My life was set now.