Thorns
By:Prince Galaxy
Edited By:Chrome Masquerade
"God, fuck me dead!" I am a pony but I still use our human swearing, loyalty, yay. I was suppose to be at the summer festival thingie because of my school, which I was forced in to, I'll show you how the first day went.
-->First day of school<--> three days in Equestria <--
"Do you know what the Summer Festival is Rose?" Cheerlie asked
"Really could not care less," I said, this is what happens when your on the brink of death from boredom.
"You know that Celestia is there right!?" Cheerlie said
"Still doesn't change shit," I said, the kids gasped "Sorry forgot their were kids."
"Celestia is the ruler of Equestria!" Cheerlie shouted
"And I'm Donald Trump, ruler of 'Merica." Yep, 2017 Elections, yay WW3!
"Who is this Donald Trumpet!?" Cheerlie asked
"Trump, pony names are weird, why do you not have the intellect required to not give a sentient being the name of an inanimate object. OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH" Burned son. I was tanning bro, I could smell the ashes, and a distant OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH.
"ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID!?" Cheerlie yelled
"Indirectly, yes, absolutely, not limited to you, your kind can be included, also, more of a moron, scientific term *ahem* 'Moron' was coined in 1910 by psychologist Henry H. Goddard from the Ancient Greek word μωρός (moros), which meant 'dull' and used to describe a person with a mental age in adulthood of between 8 and 12 on the Binet scale. It was once applied to people with an IQ of 51–70, being superior in one degree to 'imbecile' (IQ of 26–50) and superior in two degrees to 'idiot' (IQ of 0–25). The word moron, along with others including, "idiotic", "imbecilic", "stupid", and "feeble-minded", was formerly considered a valid descriptor in the psychological community, but it is now deprecated in use by psychologists. Source, Wikipedia. Pls don't sew me." My essay on stupidity
"I'm speechless, that was actually an accurate speech on moron by Hay Good, wow. That's amazing, i'm not even mad. Class dismissed, I would like to see you tomorrow miss Rose after class." The look on her face was one of sheer amazement.
The hell just happened?
End<
So yeah, and apparently I have to participate in welcoming Celestia, a monarch, me, a liberalist, what could possibly go wrong?!
"Sorry I'm late miss Cheerlie!" I said
"It's ok, she isn't here yet, I don't get it, why are you so stubborn sometimes and so kind other times?" She asked
"Personality," I said, and then Celestia arrived in her chariot with to pegasi on the lead. Everypony bowed except for me that bowed in a way that wouldn't put me on the ground but still being polite.
"Rise," Celestia said, they all rose.
"Your highness, welcome!" Cheerlie exclaimed
"Thank you my little pony," She said with a motherly voice. She was known for that "How is the education going for my ponies?"
"Well, although we have an overachieving student," I gave her the 'well, yolo' look.
"Hm?That would be?" She asked
"Rose Thorns, your highness," She said
"Well she looks pretty, tell me, how would you like going to the School For Gifted Unicorns, I sense some magic in you." I looked at her and gave her one of my many looks saying 'Congratulations, you've cracked the code'
I proceeded to think about it for ten seconds and then said "Sure, it would be nice,"
"We'll be leaving tomorrow after the festival, have a nice day my little one." She proceeded to walk away.
"Good job," Cheerlie said
"Thanks, good luck!" I said walking away, I made my way back home, made myself a non alcoholic cocktail, I love those. And started packing all my stuff, plushies, books, I went to an agency to transport my consoles and tv with delicacy, I made sure to keep it a secret. And went to the mayor to sell my house, and by the end of the day I was ready to go so I slept for one last night and woke up tomorrow, I had nice dreams. He.
Skip<
*Knock, knock, knock*
"Coming!" I yelled, I then opened the door to see a guard, he looked surprised.
"Were are your parents?" He asked
"I'm alone," I responded
"Ok, come with me, we're going to Canterlot." He said and I followed him to the carriage, we then proceeded to make our way to Canterlot, note to self, guards aren't too talkative.
Skip<
I was then escorted in to the school, passing through the buzzing city, it had marvelous architecture, fountains, parks, I was going to enjoy myself. The smell of fresh dishes from the restaurants, the waterfall, the light breeze, absolutely perfect. Once I entered I was to pass a test of hatching the egg. I could hear mumbling 'a Pegasus, seriously'. I thought about it, I could use my magic, but that would be hard to conceal, but then I had a moment of genius, I am a Pegasus, I 'control' air,
(Shoutout to WinterSolstice for the idea, go check out the serie Winter Rose and Songs of Hawkfire, their great!)
So, I shot a streak of wind that cracked the egg, hey I got Phoenix, SWEET!
I was then included and led to my room where I resided or the time being. It was nice, cozy and not too small, couch, place where I could place my tv and such, it was nice, I went out to look at the city.
I made my way out and was welcomed by my classmates, they were very kind, I admired the parks, the fountains, I sat down for a while and then made my way to the nearest restaurant, it looked nice, I was walki-
*Smack*
Welcome to hell my dear.