Frustrating Adagio

by StormLuna

Rating: teen
Tags: Aria Blaze, Equestria Girls, Adagio Dazzle, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 5832

After the death of Sonata, Adagio began reflecting on her past and her many regrets. As she began to reflect on her past, her personality changed somewhat but Aria just wouldn't change and that really frustrated Adagio.

After the death of Sonata, Adagio began doing a lot of thinking and looking back on life. She realized she had many regrets and her poor treatment of Sonata was by far her biggest regret. It wasn't long after Sonata's passing that Adagio would become frustrated, courtesy of her sister Aria.

Published 2017-04-25 18:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-25 18:00:01 UTC

One Last Good-Bye

Three days had passed since Aria and Adagio had found their sister, Sonata, dead in her bedroom and the situation in their house had been rather tense. Both girls couldn't help but wonder if Sonata's death was just a matter of her suffocating herself in her sleep or if it was a case of suicide. Both girls felt a sense of guilt wondering if perhaps it was their poor treatment of their sister that led to this but Adagio couldn't help but feel that Aria, who always treated Sonata much worse than she did, was responsible for this whether it was suicide or not.

When the two got up the morning of Sonata's funeral, they were rather quiet as they had been. Adagio had a look of sadness and frustration on her face realizing that that day would be their final chance to say goodbye to their sister. As they sat down for breakfast Adagio decided to break the silence, "Well today's the day, it's our last chance to say goodbye to Sonata."

Aria commented, "I know. Even though she's only been gone for three days, it feels like she's been gone forever."

Once again the two went silent and after finishing breakfast, the two went to get ready for the funeral. Rather than dressing like they normally do, both wore all black. As they headed out the door Adagio said, "Well, this is it."

When they arrived at the school, they immediately headed to the gym where the services were going to be held. Up in the front of the room sat Sonata's casket. The two both headed up and stood before it. Adagio said, "I'm sorry Sonata, I'm sorry for how I treated you. I just hope you can forgive me."

For Aria, finding something to say was more difficult. While she didn't want to admit it to anyone, not even Adagio, she knew that she had treated her younger sister horribly. Finally she found something to say, "I'm sorry Sonata, I know I was a bad sister."

Thirty minutes later people began to file into the gym. With the exception of Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna, it was primarily students of the school that were attending and even out of them, not that many were attending. While Sonata was the most well liked out of the three, only a third of the student body bothered to show up, which brought about a great amount of sadness in Adagio and anger in Aria. Aria never did care much for most of the students at CHS and the low turnout for the funeral was proof in Aria's eyes that most of them didn't deserve the roofs over their heads.

Once the clock hit ten the two girls went to their seats in the front row. Given that they didn't understand human religion and certainly weren't religious themselves, it would be Celestia who oversaw the services. For Celestia this was hard, very hard. This was only the second time she had ever had one of her students die and given the history between The Dazzlings and the rest of the school, it was only harder.

Celestia stood at the front of the room and began,

"Students of Canterlot High, we are gathered here for a solemn event, today we join to say our final farewells to one of our fellow schoolmates, Sonata Dusk. While I did not know Sonata all that well, I do remember the day I first met her. I remember that smile of hers and her bubbly personality."

Naturally Celestia did not want to bring up the events that followed as she did not wish to say anything negative about Sonata out of respect for not just her, but her grieving sisters. She had a flustered look on her face and continued, "I would like to call on her oldest sister, Adagio Dazzle, to say a few words."

She motioned for Adagio to head up to the podium. This was hard for Adagio as she had never been good at expressing her emotions. She began,

"As you all know, Sonata was my youngest sister which meant that throughout her life I was normally the one she would look up to for advice. All the way back to when we were very young, she always looked to me for advice whether it was over what to wear or if she needed help with her homework. I'm going to admit, we did go through our rough times and all three of us have had our bad times but Sonata was always the more cheerful one, the one who almost always had a smile on her face and as many of you know, she was the one who really loved her tacos."

Adagio stepped down from the podium with a nervous look on her face but couldn't help but notice that one student, one who had grown closer with her since the battle of the bands, Sunset Shimmer, was giving her a look of approval. After she stepped down, Aria headed up to the podium. Saying something about Sonata in front of so many people actually frightened Aria as she had never really got along with her younger sister,

"Like Adagio said, Sonata was the youngest of us three and while she looked up to my sister for advice on fashion or needed homework, I was the one she looked up to for snappy comebacks when it came to dealing with bullies in school when she was younger. One thing I always wondered was how, despite the deck being stacked against the three of us, she could always keep such a positive personality and hold hope that things would get better. I suppose that is what made her special."

Once Aria began to head down to her seat she glanced at all the empty seats with a scowl on her face. One of the students noticed this and yelled, "I don't know why you bothered saying anything. You didn't even like your baby sister, much less love her."

This brought out an angry response from Aria. She pointed towards the doors and yelled, "You know what? If you're going to be like this just get out!" Her scowl deepened and her voice became angrier, "You know something, you and all the assholes that didn't even show up to Sonata's funeral are the worst!"

The student immediately left and Adagio gave Aria a look of disapproval. While she could understand that the student angered her, she was bothered by her angry outburst. Principal Celestia was shocked but not surprised given Aria's confrontational personality. She headed up to the podium and asked, "Is there anyone else who would like to say anything?"

At first the gym was quiet but then the one student who actually gave The Dazzlings a chance immediately after they were defeated raised her hand. Celestia said, "Ms. Shimmer, the podium is yours."

Sunset walked up to the podium and began,

"Like many others, I noticed how Sonata was always so cheerful and bubbly. I remember back when I was welcoming her and her sisters to the school. I know how many of you felt about her and her sisters when they first arrived but there was always something different about Sonata. While she tried to appear tough sometimes, her sunny and cheerful side always shone through. Even when her sisters would have arguments with other students, she never really carried the same attitude and negativity is something I never really saw from her. Especially after the battle of the bands, Sonata was a cheerful girl. I look at how things are in this school and I honestly believe that if everyone in this school had even a little bit of Sonata in them, that this would be a much better place.

As I look out at all of you and see so many empty seats, it makes me feel like this school parallels this world. While it does have some positive people, it is full of negative people, people who could use a little bit of Sonata in them. While it is obvious that Aria is very angry over all the empty seats, I can only imagine how Sonata would be. She would not look at the empty seats negatively, she would look at the full seats and be happy that some of you cared enough to pay your final respects.

While I didn't know Sonata as well as I would have liked, I did in the end grow closer with her and her sisters than pretty much anyone else at this school and I saw a lot of them in myself. At first they were unpleasant, they were like me when I first came here as they wanted to influence others negatively but in the end, they realized that that was not the way to do things. While I don't expect you to think about this for very long, just know that Sonata would be happy to see you here."

The gym went silent as everyone was shocked that Sunset had said a lot more about Sonata than either one of her sisters did. Once she had finished her speech the services were over and students began to file out, save three. Aria and Adagio again headed up to the casket for one final moment with Sonata but would be joined by Sunset. Sunset put her arms around the two and said, "If there is anything I can do for you two, let me know."

Adagio replied, "All we ask for is someone to talk to if we need it. We don't need anything special, just someone to talk to and listen."

Aria added, "That is all we ask for, is someone who cares."

After an hour of standing in silence, Sonata's casket was taken to the cemetery to be buried. Seeing her casket being covered with dirt was the hardest part for the two. It was at that moment that they knew she truly was gone forever but one thing festered in Adagio's mind was the constant wonder, "Was Sonata's death suicide? Was Aria responsible for this? Was it her constant speculation, bitching and the fact that she killed her boyfriend that caused this to happen?"

An Evening Meeting

The day had taken quite a toll on Aria and Adagio, having to say good bye to their sister. After what seemed to be an excruciatingly long day for them, they returned to the one place that had depressed them the most since Sonata's death, home.

It really bothered the two knowing that it truly was just them from that moment on but Aria's behavior at the funeral bothered Adagio. She asked, "Aria, I want to know something, what was that blow up at the funeral all about?"

Aria was in no mood for questions but replied, "Didn't you hear what that loser said? He claimed that I didn't even like Sonata." She slammed her foot into the floor and continued, "It pisses me off that these people who know nothing about us, these losers who don't understand us would make such comments. I swear, outside of Sunset, they are all the worst!"

Adagio snapped, "And that's one thing that really bothers me. The very thing you always called Sonata you had the nerve to apply to a good portion of the student body. Does that even mean anything to you or is everyone 'the worst' now that Sonata is gone."

Aria did not take to this very kindly, she saw this as her sister siding with them, "Oh, so now you're on their side? You're on the side of those losers that didn't bother to come pay their final respects, the losers that probably did that to spite us?"

Adagio yelled, "No, I am not siding with them. I'm just saying you could have been a bit more tactful in dealing with that guy."

Aria sneered, "Oh and what was I supposed to do? Go hold his hand, give him a damn puppy and politely show him the exit?" She headed up towards her room and finished, "I swear Dagi, you are just as bad as Sonata was, you are the worst!"

As Aria slammed her door shut, Adagio was in shock. Here it was, still the day of the funeral and Aria already was back to putting Sonata down even though she is dead. Adagio did some deep thinking and couldn't help but wonder if maybe that guy was right, maybe Aria really shouldn't have said anything. She needed to talk to someone and there was only one person she knew that would even care about her feelings, Sunset.

While she was unsure as to whether Sunset was even home she called her,

"Hello, who is this?"

"Sunset, it's me Adagio. I really need to talk."

"Ok, so what do you need to talk about?"

"I need to talk to you alone, somewhere away from Aria."

"Alright, meet me at the Canterlot Cafe in 30 minutes."

"Sounds good, I'll see you then."

*CLICK*

Adagio quickly left because she did not feel like being interrogated by Aria, who she felt was likely going to be even more unpleasant to be around than she already was.

When Adagio arrived Sunset was just arriving the two embraced and Sunset asked, "Dagi, are you ok? Why do you need to talk alone?"

Adagio replied, "We can discuss this once we get inside and are seated."

The two headed in and luckily the cafe was not very busy so they were able to sit a good distance from other customers. Once they were seated Sunset again asked, "Dagi, are you ok? Why do you need to talk alone?"

Adagio replied, "Well as you know today has been a rough day for both my sister and I but the very moment we got home, Aria was back to her old self but now someone else has her famous label of being 'the worst.'"

Sunset's jaw dropped, "Wait a minute, Sonata has just barely been buried and she is now calling you 'the worst?'"

Adagio replied, "Yes, she is."

Sunset asked, "Why?"

Adagio replied, "Well I confronted her over that blowup at the funeral. I told her that she could have been more tactful over that guy who said she didn't even like Sonata." She took a breath before continuing, "I know she is easily provoked but I would think even she would know that a funeral is not the place to blow up, especially the funeral of her own sister."

Sunset commented, "Yeah, I did think that was kind of distasteful."

Adagio continued, "And with the way she is acting, I know now that Sonata is gone, I'm going to be on the receiving end of all her snide remarks, her bad attitude and her disrespect." She began to become more agitated as she continued, "You know Sunset, I would love to just smack her when she acts like this."

Sunset was shocked that she would say this, "Dagi, I know you're upset with Aria and want to try to get her to lose the attitude but I don't think that is the way. There has to be some way to get her to calm down without resorting to violence."

As much as Adagio wanted to believe her, she just couldn't. Aria's behavior wasn't the only thing that was bothering her though, she had other things on her mind. She leaned in towards Sunset and asked, "Sunset, can I tell you something and you won't think I'm a horrible person?"

Sunset replied, "Of course you can."

Adagio began, "Well this may take a little while, it involves the morning that we found Sonata dead. Aria was the first one to find her and I remember hear yelling at her to wake up with that same growl that she always does."

Sunset replied, "Alright."

Adagio continued, "When I got in there I saw that Sonata's face was buried in her pillows and I can't help but wonder, did Aria do something to her? Was she so mad at her over her boyfriend's spirit making her life hell that she went over the edge and decided to kill Sonata too?"

Sunset was in a state of shock hearing what her friend was saying. She replied, "Dagi, I know Aria can be a bitch at times and I knew that she was always irritated with Sonata and pretty much anything that involved her, but I don't think she killed her."

Adagio asked, "Well I just can't help but wonder if maybe she just snapped and thought that maybe if she took out Sonata that her boyfriend's spirit would leave us alone."

Sunset replied, "Dagi, I know Aria has a bad temper but she knows that if she was to be involved in anything even slightly shady, given that she is on probation, that she would go to prison and I doubt she would risk her freedom."

Adagio sighed, "That is true but I also can't help but wonder if her bad attitude, constant disrespect towards her boyfriend and skepticism over his spirit being there may have caused her to die." Despite being in a public setting and knowing she shouldn't have, she raised her voice, "Sunset, I just feel like even if she didn't kill her and it was a suicide, that Aria likely drove her to it. Maybe things got so bad that despite me finally believing her and comforting her, that she just couldn't take Aria anymore, that maybe she wanted to get away and felt like death was the only option."

Sunset asked, "When they did the autopsy, what did they say was the cause of death?"

Adagio replied, "They believe she just rolled over to where she buried her face in her pillows while she was asleep. It is because of that that Aria was never even asked about it despite her past conviction."

Sunset suggested, "Dagi, I know you are having suspicions that Aria is responsible for her death but I think you would probably be a lot less stressed if you just go off of what the autopsy said. You are already stressed enough, you don't need any more."

Adagio sighed, "That is true but that doesn't change the fact that I am going to have to return home and have to put up with Aria and her attitude. I just can't take it!"

Sunset suggested, "Well you could always come over and spend the night with me. I know it would only be one night but maybe a little time away from Aria would be good for you."

Adagio gave her a smile, "Thanks Sunset, I would really appreciate it. I know Aria will likely be pissed but oh well, she'll get over it."

Sunset nodded and asked, "Well now that we have got this out of the way, shall we order some food and then head back to my place?"

Adagio replied, "That sounds good, very good."

The two called for a waitress and ordered their food. Sunset had her concerns that what is going on between Adagio and Aria may lead to her having company overnight more than on just this one occasion but didn't want to bring it up. Adagio was happy that she would have one night away from her sister but already began to dread having to put up with her the following day at school because she knew that she would likely be in a very bad mood and confront her over her whereabouts.

Lunchtime Argument

The following morning arrived and Aria woke up with her usual groan over daylight arriving too soon. When she got up she noticed that the house was silent, so silent that one could hear a pin drop. She headed downstairs to fix herself some breakfast. She began to eat and wondered where her sister was given that she was usually downstairs by then. After she finished eating she headed upstairs and yelled, "Dagi, get up. We have school today."

She headed into her sister's room to find that she was not home. This did not sit well with her, "Damn it Dagi, you can't even wait on me to go to school?"

Given that Adagio usually drove them to school this angered Aria further. With Adagio being gone, Aria would have to walk and she would have to hurry if she did not want to be late. She stormed out the door mumbling in anger realizing that besides having to deal with the students, most of who she hates, that not going off on Adagio would nearly be impossible.

Aria arrived at school just in time to make it to her first class. As she rushed into the classroom she was giving her sister the type of death look that would terrify most people. Adagio had a nervous look on her face and knew that after class, that she was likely going to have to deal with Aria and her anger.

When their class ended and they were heading to the next class, Aria immediately started in on Adagio, "So Dagi, where were you last night? Why the hell didn't you come home?"

Adagio sighed, "Not now Aria, we can discuss this later."

Aria grunted in frustration but knew that waiting would be worth it so she would have the time to find out what happened. The morning seemed to drag by for Aria while it passed all too quickly for Adagio, knowing that during lunch she would have to face the wrath of her sister.

When lunch time finally arrived Aria would get her chance. Her and Adagio found an empty table to sit down and eat at. Aria glared at her sister and asked, "So Dagi, where were you last night?"

Adagio replied, "Well I needed to talk to someone so I got a hold of Sunset and we went out to eat."

Aria gave her a glare, "I would love to know since when it took all night to eat."

Adagio knew that she had best just tell her the truth. She continued, "Well and after that I decided to spend the night with Sunset."

Aria's face turned red upon hearing this, a red of pure anger. She snapped, "What, you went and decided to spend the night with Sunset and you didn't even have the courtesy to let me know that I would have to walk to school this morning?"

Adagio countered, "You know what, I needed some time away from you. I needed time away from your bad attitude, your constant disrespect and your name calling. I'm sick of it and like I said......."

Aria interrupted, "What? You needed time away from me?" She did a facepalm and continued, "I'd love to know what the hell happened to the Adagio Dazzle I used to know. I'd love to know what happened to the Adagio that always thought she had to be in control, always thought she was right and could put up with just about anything."

Adagio replied, "You know what, everything that happened from....."

Aria again interrupted, "It was that night when you and Sonata thought you saw her dead boyfriend in our TV that you went soft. That is the night you became the worst! That is the night the Adagio I knew my whole life....."

Their argument had grabbed the attention of many of the students but one in particular knew they would just argue non-stop. Sunset grabbed her tray and left her normal seat with her Rainboom friends and sat with the arguing sirens. She interrupted, "Aria, Adagio, fighting is not going to get you anywhere and I really don't think the school cafeteria is the place to be doing all this."

Aria snapped, "Look, I am talking to my sister and I am going to get answers from her so why don't you go back to your loser friends so the two of us can talk."

Adagio said, "Aria, Sunset is only trying to help and I do think that maybe the cafeteria is not the best place to have this argument and I wouldn't think you'd want everyone to know our business."

Sunset gave the two a smile and added, "You know, I could join you two at your house after school and help you two through whatever it is that is bothering you."

Adagio replied, "That would be wonderful."

Aria however, was not so pleased, "Dagi, this is something that is between us. I do agree we need to stop this for now but we're talking when we get home, alone....."

Sunset interrupted, "No Aria, Dagi wants me to be there for her and I'm going to be there for her."

Aria knew that despite her having gone a bit soft here recently, that Adagio would still get her way with this. She grunted, "Whatever, I guess we'll see you after school." She pointed her finger towards the table Sunset's friends were sitting at and continued, "Now go sit with your loser friends so my sister and I can finish our lunch."

Despite what Aria said, Sunset remained where she was and kept Adagio company to lessen the stress. Adagio was thankful that Sunset would be there for her to try and ease things with Aria. Aria on the other hand was not all that thrilled. Sunset was closer with her sister than she was with her and Aria had a feeling that Sunset would likely play favorites and knew it wouldn't be her who would have an ally.

A Bitter Argument

Author's Note

Most of this chapter will be done in a back and forth dialogue.

A Bitter Argument

The rest of the day seemed to drag by for Aria, Adagio and Sunset. While Adagio and Sunset both looked forward to hopefully calming Aria down, Aria knew that all they were wanting to do was to get her to be not so harsh and for Aria, that was not an option.

After school the three headed to Aria and Adagio's house where they would discuss their problems. Once they got sat down Sunset wanted to get this started. She asked, "So where were we when we cut this off during lunch?"

Aria began, "Well first, I want to bring up why Dagi just decided to run off with you and not have the courtesy to tell me that I would have to walk to school."

Adagio replied, "Look Aria, like I said, I needed time away from you, your name calling, your constant bitching and your disrespect."

Aria gave her a glare and countered, "Is that so? What about you? I remember how you used to always refer to both Sonata and I as idiots." She raised her voice and continued, "So it was perfectly ok for you to call us idiots but I simply tell someone they are the worst and it is the worst thing in the world?"

Adagio again countered, "Regarding your name calling, I remember you were devastated the day we found Sonata dead but on the very day we buried her, you go right back to referring to her as 'the worst.'"

Sunset gasped, "You did what? You referred to Sonata as 'the worst' on the day you buried her?"

Aria snapped, "Look, I just had a bad moment with Dagi and I honestly don't think we need to bring up every little detail."

Sunset sighed, "Look, I just think we need for you two to simply understand what problems you have with the other and maybe you two will be able to live together without killing each other."

Adagio replied, "I agree." She cast her gaze at Aria and began, "Aria, I know both you and I have similar mindsets but all I ask of you is that you quit with the name calling and disrespect. The way you were on the night of Sonata's funeral and when you told me I was just like Sonata and was 'the worst' I was appalled. We had just buried our sister and you still referred to her as 'the worst' while doing the same to me."

Aria groaned, "Look, I'm sorry, ok?"

Sunset could tell that this was going nowhere in a hurry. She cast her gaze at Aria and asked, "Aria, I know how you are but can't you at least show your sister a little bit of respect?"

Aria snapped, "Here we go with the respect thing again. Look Sunset, I know you're only trying to help but I've dealt with Dagi a whole lot longer than you have and respect is a foreign concept to her....especially when it came to Sonata. You think I was bad to her? For what seemed to be forever, she would always tell Sonata to shut up, not even letting her get a word in so she is no little angel."

Adagio mumbled, "At least I never disrespected her after she died."

Sunset remembered what they were talking about when she interrupted them at lunch time, "Aria, I remember when I stopped your argument at lunch and you were saying something about Adagio becoming 'the worst' when she thought she saw Sonata's boyfriend in your TV. What was all that about."

Aria began, "For quite some time both Dagi and I thought Sonata was just full of shit when she mentioned her dead boyfriend being around but that night is when Dagi went soft. She claimed she saw him in our TV and then said she thought he would do something to me in my sleep."

Adagio added, "Well I did see him in the TV and he obviously did do something to you in your sleep. Remember what happened with your radio?"

Sunset asked, "What about your radio?"

Aria replied, "Oh there was some sort of power surge that caused it to start blaring in the middle of the night and my irrational roommates thought it was Sonata's dead boyfriend in the radio."

Adagio snapped, "Aria, don't you remember how it powered up AFTER you had unplugged it and he began talking to Sonata?"

Aria sighed, "I know it came on but that could have been anything, maybe some freaky thing with electrical fields or something."

Sunset interrupted, "Dagi, this really happened?"

Adagio replied, "Yes it did but Aria simply won't believe it happened. I think she hated Sonata's boyfriend so much that she simply won't believe things like this happen."

Aria groaned, "Like I said the night the TV went haywire, you watch too many ghost shows."

Sunset knew that this would continue to go back and forth if she didn't change directions. She interrupted, "Look you two, I know you're never going to agree on the whole thing regarding Sonata's boyfriend so what else has caused this rift between you?"

Aria snapped, "The day of the funeral when that loser made that comment during Sonata's service. He knows nothing about us yet Dagi takes his side and claims that I could have been more tactful towards him." She became more agitated and continued, "And then it seems like she sided with all the losers who didn't even bother to show up and pay their final respects to our sister."

Dagi countered, "Look, I know that upset you but I'm going to go with what Sunset here said. Sonata would not have looked at the empty seats with disdain, she would have looked at the people who showed up and been happy they cared." Sunset gave her a smile as she continued, "You know something, Sunset is right. If everyone in this world had even a little bit of Sonata in them, it would be a much better place and I want to try that, I want to have some Sonata in me."

Aria groaned, "Ugh, just like Sonata was on the day I was convicted but didn't have to go to prison, you are the worst!"

Adagio yelled, "There you go again with the putting her down after she has passed." She calmed down and continued, "You know, I don't know if I can even put up with you anymore." She cast her gaze towards Sunset and asked, "Sunset, I know this is probably asking a lot from you but do you think I could at least spend a whole lot more time with you because coming home to this is unbearable!"

Both girls were staring at Sunset in anticipation of what her response would be. She replied, "Dagi, I know coming home to Aria is hard but what would Sonata want you to do?" She paused for a minute and continued, "Sonata would want you two to work things out even if it drove the two of you nuts. She would not want to see her sisters filled with hate like this, seeing you two act like this would probably make her cry."

Adagio sighed, "You're probably right but I don't know if I can do this anymore. When Sonata was around I could handle it because she was the target of her bitchiness but now I am."

Aria added, "I don't know if I can do this anymore either." Her response became more snide as she continued, "I'd rather go through that dumb portal, go back to Equestria and get thrown in Tartarus by their little princess."

Both gasped, "What?"

Aria snapped, "You heard me. Tartarus would be preferable to anything this miserable, pathetic world has to offer." She calmed down and began to smile, "Now I just have to wait for that portal to open and I can escape this shit."

Adagio yelled, "Well you go right ahead. I do have one friend here" she smiled at Sunset and continued, "and I plan on staying here with her."

Sunset smiled, "I'm glad you think of me as a friend, I think of you as a friend as well."

Aria grunted, "Well you go ahead, I'll check that dumb block of concrete everyday and when it opens, I'm going home."

Sunset finally realized that there was nothing that was going to patch things up between the two sirens. The only advice that she could give the two was to try and get along until the portal opened and Aria would go home. She did hope that something would happen that would cause Aria to change her mind but was not counting on it.

Adagio did wind up spending a whole lot more time and many more nights with Sunset while Aria was waiting for the portal to open so she could return to Equestria. Despite the fact that she would likely be the only siren left and probably wouldn't have any singing abilities, she figured that she would be able to find a way to survive.