Author's Note

Well. Let's see if this goes well.

First of all, words between this symbol {} are in English, which ponies won't be able to understand. For example, {}FUCK!{} wouldn't be directly understood by ponies.

Second of all, while there will be funny moments (I hope) this isn't directly intended to be a comedy. It's intended to be a bit of 'Stranger in a Strange Land' mixed with 'The Outsiders'. I'm going to try to stick as closely to canon as possible, and what I mean by that is I'll only change stuff if it suits my literary needs.

Also, while there may, possibly, eventually be sex, the sex tag is mostly for discussions of sex and sexuality, and while there may be some combat and/or violence, the gore tag is mostly due to our Human friend skinning and butchering his kills, which may happen on-screen, so to speak, at some point or another.

Lastly, while the Mane 6 are tagged, the human in this story doesn't like them very much (due to reasons that will be explained in story) and they, in turn, don't like him much in return. While one of the eventual goals is intended to be a reconciliation between them, it won't happen quickly, and won't happen smoothly.

One More Thing! This story diverges from No Second Prances, Season 6, episode 6, at just after 6 minutes into the episode. So, there will be some spoilers up to that point, and possibly beyond. Also, you see what I did there? *wink wink, nudge nudge*

Enjoy!

Making Friends can be Hard

Starlight Glimmer kicked the dirt under her hooves. Irritation clawed its way through the back of her mind despite her best attempts to suppress it. Even though the sun was high in the sky, the flowers were blooming, and all around her the ponies of Ponyville were enjoying early summer, their joy did nothing but enhance her negativity. ‘Perhaps cutting through the park wasn’t such a good idea,’ she thought to herself.

“Ugh, what is going on!” she mumbled to herself. “This is Ponyville! If I can’t make a friend here, there’s something wrong with me!”

She sighed. “Ok, calm down,” she told herself, even though she sounded a touch crazy, even to her own ears. “Nopony makes friends with a total stress-case!”

It wasn’t very reassuring. She looked around once more. It seemed like everypony around her was with someone, except for her.

“Stop stressing,” she told herself.

Everypony else had a friend or family nearby spending time with them, doing fun things together, enjoying such a beautiful day. And here she was, all alone, on a task by her mentor to make a new friend to introduce to Princess Celestia at a supposedly informal dinner. It was nothing to worry about!

“Stop stressing!” she told herself a little more firmly.

It wasn’t like she had a horrible past, mind controlling entire villages and taking away their cutie marks only to be defeated by the Princess’ former student, a Princess in her own right, before crafting an elaborate revenge plan that involved going back in time and ruining her new mentor’s chance of ever making friends with the other Bearers of the Elements of Harmony and by preventing that event she caused Equestria to be destroyed, like, a dozen times over, before finally being defeated and made a student and given a second chance, oh no, nothing like that, it wasn’t like her past would make it IMPOSSIBLE TO EVER MAKE FRIENDS WITH ANYPONY EVER!

“STOP STRESSING!” she shouted to herself.

Ponies all around her stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at her. Starlight felt the weight of so many stares, judging her and finding her wanting -or, more likely, crazy- and in her embarrassment, she took off running.

Despite the wind whipping through her ears, she could hear the murmurs of the crowd. She could see the sideways glances and the way ponies turned their noses up at her in disgust. Every minute in this town was another reminder that she wasn’t welcome here. She closed her eyes and dug her hooves deeper into the dirt, hoping for a little more leverage to push her faster.

‘Maybe if I go fast enough, I’ll be able to leave it all behind me…’ she thought to herself.

Despite her guilt over how she had treated the villagers in her old village, a part of her missed how much a part of the community she had felt back then. Even though they were more followers than friends, at least they accepted her.

‘Not like this stupid town and these stupid ponies!’ she said with rising anger, even as she closed her eyes and bowed her head to lean into her sprint. ‘This would all be so much easier if I could just-’

WHAM!

Starlight gasped in pain, even as she rolled into a tangle of limbs with whoever she had -literally- run into. Her body complained of various bruises and scrapes even as she did her best to gingerly extricate herself. First she had to spit out the long, auburn mane that somehow got into her mouth. Next, she pushed herself off of the tawny coated being and rolled to her feet. Finally free of the tangle of limbs, she took the opportunity to look herself over.

Despite the high-speed collision, Starlight didn’t seem to have broken anything. Her muzzle and chest were going to be aching in the morning, and the scrapes along her withers and flanks were going to need to be disinfected. Fortunately, aside from that, the only thing wrong with her was the layer of dust all over her coat and mane.

Once she had finished dusting herself off as best as she could, Starlight finally got a good look at who she had run into.

‘Thats… not a pony,’ was the first thing that came to mind. The tawny coat and auburn mane weren’t a lionesque pony. ‘A manticore?!’ she thought with a jolt of shock.

As the creature stood up, first onto all fours, and then reared up onto just the hind legs, a second shot of adrenaline coursed through her, and she subconsciously slinked back away from it.

‘T-that’s not a manticore!’

The tall bipedal being -possibly even taller than Princess Celestia- was wearing the manticore’s skin like some kind of grotesque cloak. The auburn leonine mane was still attached to the deceased manticore’s head, still attached to (most of) the rest of the skin and had been pulled up over the bizarre being’s head. The paws and forelegs were wrapped around the creature's neck like a sick parody of a high-class pony wearing a sweater on their back. The sleeveless shirt and pants seemed to be woven out of some kind of coarse plant fiber. The creature’s hind-hooves were wrapped in what looked to be some kind of rabbit fur moccasin, a sight that would surely make poor Fluttershy burst into tears. A supple leather (leather!) belt was wrapped around it’s waist, keeping the rough, poorly made trousers up, and all kinds of pouches and boxes were hanging from it. On it’s left thigh, a full sized woodcutter’s axe hung from some kind of holster, and the creature looked like it could use it like a one-hoofed hatchet. The curved ends of some kind of bow peaked up over one of the being’s shoulders, the other end curved around the opposite hip from the axe, though Starlight couldn’t figure out why there was some kind of pulley attached to the bow-tips. A quiver hanging from the belt completed the picture of some kind of primitive barbarian.

“Watch where you’re going!” the incised creature shouted at her. Starlight started and took a step back in fright. The creature started patting itself down, both to remove much of the road dust that it had been covered with and to check the various bags and pouches.

“U-um, sorry!” Starlight said, surprised that the thing could even speak Equestrian. The creature sniffed a bit and turned away from her, muttering to itself in a different language, one that Starlight in all her studies had never heard. It was much harsher than Equestrian. Rather than smooth flowing syllables and soft, sometimes trilling consonants, the being’s language seemed to use harsh fricatives, like it was spitting the words out, snapping the sounds against the lips and teeth in distincts pops and smacks.

“Are… are you ok?” she asked with a touch of guilt. “I didn’t mean to run into you, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“I’m fine,” the being snapped at her. Starlight took another step back. ‘It sounds so… angry,’ she thought to herself.

“Um… ok, good!” she said with false cheer and a fake smile. ‘Ugh, anypony could see through that,’ she berated herself.

The being ignored her even as it untied one small pouch from it’s belt and opened the drawstring. ‘Is everything this thing is wearing made of leather?’ Starlight was a bit disgusted.

“{}FUCK!{}” the creature shouted and threw the leather pouch down into the dirt. Startled, Starlight took another step back, now well out of reach of the big, angry, animal-skin wearing barbarian. The word was harsh and short and so full of anger, Starlight could practically taste it. It turned to her and pointed.

“Where is my gold, you little thief!” it shouted.

“Gold? What gold?” Starlight asked, surprised.

“The gold I brought to barter with.” It pointed down at the little pouch it had thrown down on the ground. Between grit teeth, it ground out “Return my property to me!”

“I- I didn’t take your gold,” Starlight protested, feeling a little angry herself in the face of such accusations.

“I had it only minute before you knock me over,” it said, it’s accent becoming thicker, the vowels coming out short and quick and the consonants sharp and guttural.

“I didn’t take your gold, I have my own bits,” Starlight said, clenching her own teeth in anger.

“Then you explain how gold go missing after you attack me,” it ground out.

“I Don’t KNOW!” Starlight shouted back. Her horn sparked a bit from her irritation. “I said I was sorry for running into you, I didn’t attack you, and I DIDN’T TAKE YOUR BUCKING GOLD!”

The thing’s forehooves (or were they claws like Spike’s?) clenched. It closed it’s eyes, took a deep breath and let it blow out through it’s nose.

“Fine. Then you will help me find it, or you will give me bits to replace it,” it said, still irritated, but at least not sounding murderous anymore.

“Fine,” Starlight ground out through clenched teeth. “Where did you last see it.”

“I checked it right as I entered town, right over there,” it pointed to the edge of the village, not more than two hundred paces from where they were standing. “Couldn’t have been more than a minute before you ran into me.”

The stretch was, like most of Ponyville, a dirt road, uneven from wagon wheels and dried puddles, deep ruts carved into the surface. The road tended to turn into a muddy mire each time it rained. There were plenty of cracks and crevices that some gold could have fallen into.

“Could I see your pouch,” Starlight asked, pointing a hoof at the pouch in question, still laying on the road.

The being nodded, picked it up, and lobbed it to her. Starlight caught it in her magic, and, as repulsed as she was by the material (leather! Ugh!) she inspected it carefully. The stitching (UGH! Leather strips!) was crude, a simple looping stitch, but it appeared to be strong and sturdy. The drawstring (also leather. Blech!) was a little worn but otherwise intact.

‘At least the fur of whatever animal this had been was all shaved off,’ she thought to herself.

Starlight looked at the creature, and though it looked doubtfully at her and raised one eyebrow, she noted that it’s facial expressions were similar enough to a pony’s that she could read them. She grinned nervously.

Turning her attention back to the pouch, she turned it inside out. A tiny amount of gold dust was coating the worn inside of the pouch. ‘Well, it definitely uses it to carry cold. Probably not bits, though,’ she observed. Bits were, after all, made out of iron with a very thin gold foil covering.

A frayed bit of leather caught her attention, and she stretch the bag a bit to get a closer look. There, near where the bottom of the pouch would be if it wasn’t currently inside out, a frayed bit of stitching revealed a tiny hole, perhaps an eighth of a hoof across.

“Ah-hah!” Starlight shouted and pointed out the flaw. “Your stitching was fraying. The hole isn’t obvious from the outside, but if your gold was small enough, it could have slipped through here.”

The being took two steps to close the distance and bent down to look at the bag.

“{}Well, I’ll be damned,{}” it muttered to itself in it’s own language. “The fault was with my pouch, it seems. I… apologize for accusing you of theft,” it said contritely.

“If I were in your horseshoes, I can’t say I’d do any different,” Starlight told him, feeling a little ashamed herself. The being ran a claw through it’s hair, pulling the manticore hood off of it’s head as it did, revealing a sandy brown mane on the top of its head. It sighed and ran a palm down it’s face and scratched the rather bushy unkempt beard growing along its jaw and mouth. Small beady eyes opened and focused on her. The creature’s iris was the brightest icy blue, like sunlight shining through a glacial cave.

“Well, would you help me look for my gold?” it asked her, it’s voice softer than earlier.

Starlight considered it. On one hand, it had accused her of theft, but it had apologized. It had shouted at her, but she had run into it and knocked it down. ‘Not so good as far as first impressions go,’ she thought, ‘but… second chances are important. Besides, maybe I could make a friend and get the Princess’ friendship lesson out of the way. Feed two birds with one scone and all that,’

“Ok, I’ll help you,” she said with a tentative grin. “But maybe after… we could get some lunch?”

“I don’t think that’ll be possible,” it said, grimacing.

“W-what? Why not?” she asked.

“The ponies here… well, they have made it very clear that I am not welcome, except to barter in the market,” it said with no small amount of bitterness. “No restaurants will serve me, even if I offer to pay double up front.”

“That… doesn’t sound like Ponyville,” Starlight said, but even she could hear the doubt in her voice. “This is supposed to be the friendliest village in Equestria. Hay, Pinkie Pie even throws a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party for every new pony in Ponyville.”

“Oh, yes, you are correct,” it sneered. “Every pony is welcome to Ponyville. I am not a pony. Or a griffon. Or a minotaur. Or any of the other species that ponies are allies with.”

“Oh.” Starlight frowned a bit. The creature frowned back. “If it makes you feel any better, Ponyville isn’t very welcoming to me either.”

The being snorted a bit and raised an imaginary glass in it’s claw. “Here’s to the friendliest village in Equestria, the friendliest nation in the world. Home of the Princess of Friendship and everything.”

Starlight couldn’t help but to snort a bit at the obvious sarcasm. It gave her an idea, so she grinned at it a bit.

“What’s that? You’re a creepy zebra living out in the forest? No problem! We can be friends!” Starlight said in a poor imitation of Twilight’s voice. “Hmm? A Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony that can literally tear the fabric of reality? Sure thing! We can reform you! Evil Overlady that wants to take over Equestria and plunge it into eternal night? Let me just blast you with my Friendship Cannon! Then you can visit any time you want!”

Starlight grinned along with the strange being.

“Uh oh!” it said, chuckling a bit. “A human wearing animal skins, living out in the forest wants to borrow a book or two from the library? Nope! Back to where you belong, you savage beast!” The human (apparently) waved a claw dramatically at an imaginary foe, before turning it palm up as if begging for a treat. “Unless you want to barter with the gold you find in the spooky, scary forest we’re all too terrified to enter!” It’s voice rose in falsetto, ending with a quivering squeak, even as it grinned and suppressed laughter.

The two looked at each other and burst out laughing. It was a little bit cathartic, Starlight felt, to mock the ponies of Ponyville. They did have some unfair double standards.

“Heh, I suppose I should introduce myself,” Starlight said, once her laughter was a little more under control. “Starlight Glimmer, former Evil Overmare, Advocate of Equality, and record holder of ‘Destroyed Equestria the most number of times’, currently reformed and now the Princess of Friendship’s newest pupil.”

“Henry DeWitt, Lord of the Everfree Forest, hunter of manticores, archer extraordinaire, Master of Mechanical Engineering, and unwelcome guest of the Friendliest Place in Equestria.”

The two laughed together at their overly pretentious introductions. Starlight could feel the tension drain away, again marvelling at how cathartic mockery could be. ‘Maybe it’s not the friendliest thing to do, but I do feel better now,’ she thought to herself.

“Now, what do you say we look for this lost gold of yours?” Starlight asked.

“Sure,” Henry replied, much more relaxed than it had been before. “It should be somewhere along this stretch of road.”

The two took off, looking in the cracks in the dried mud and the ruts left behind by heavy wagons. Not more than halfway to the point that Henry indicated he had entered the village in, Starlight caught a reflection out of the corner of her eyes. There, laying at the bottom of one of the ruts in the road, a trail of a dozen small nuggets of gold lay scattered.

“Aha!” she shouted as she gathered them in her magic and held them aloft. “Henry, I found your gold!”

“Thank you, Ms. Glimmer,” Henry said as it walked over and held out a claw. Starlight floated the small pile of gold over and let it drop into the human’s grasp.

“You’re welcome,” she replied.

Henry fiddled a bit with the assorted pouches on his belt, found an empty one, and deposited the small pile of gold into it.

“Henry,” Starlight said, catching it’s attention. “How did you come across your gold?”

“Hmm? Well, I pan for it out in the forest. There’s a river there that deposits small nuggets like this in the sandy bed,” he replied. “In fact, I can’t seem to wash my dishes without finding at least one nugget.”

“It’s that plentiful?” Starlight asked, surprised. Henry started back towards the center of the village, so Starlight trotted up next to him.

“Yes. I’ve been meaning to follow the river upstream, maybe try to find the vein it’s coming from, but I haven't gotten around to it.”

Starlight frowned a bit. “If you’re finding gold nuggets all the time, why did you bring so little into town to barter with?” she asked.

“I shouldn’t need more than I brought,” Henry replied. “I usually only come to town once a moon or so to stock up on things I can’t find or make myself in the forest. The ponies here prefer it that way.”

Starlight frowned a bit at the reminder of how unwelcoming the ponies here could be.

“But, some weavils managed to get into my flour stores. Besides, I’m almost out of baking powder, and I could use some more railway spikes.”

“Railway spikes?” Starlight asked. “What do you need railway spikes for?”

“I use them as very large nails,” Henry replied. “I’m expanding my cabin, and it's a lot less work to use railway spikes as nails than it is to carefully carve dovetail joints to keep the walls from falling apart.”

“Dove tail joints?”

“Ah, um… hmm…” Henry scratched at his chin a bit. “Basically, carve a hole in the shape of a parallelogram in one board, and a matching parallelogram spur in another, and when you fit them together, the shape will hold the two together. Though, it works better with some glue or pitch to act as an adhesive.”

“Thats… pretty intelligent, actually.”

“Eh, I suppose. It’s an old woodworking trick from back home,” Henry said with a bit of nostalgia creeping into its voice. “The entire main room of my cabin was made without nails at all. Even the wood shingled roof.”

“You must be a pretty good carpenter to manage that,” Starlight complemented it.

“Eh… not really. I’ve had to go back over most of my earlier work,” Henry groused. “It was pretty shoddy construction at first, but at least it kept me alive through my first winter. Even if I forgot I needed a chimney.”

“You… forgot to build a chimney?” Starlight snickered a bit.

“Yes. I had to climb up on the roof in a hoof and a half of snow and cut a hole with my axe to allow the smoke to escape.”

Starlight’s snickers turned to a full on laugh. As they closed in on the market square, the streets were a little busier than they were near the edge of the village, and the nearby ponies (not too near, thanks to the manticore-skin wearing ape-like barbarian) gave Starlight sideways glances, clearly questioning her sanity.

“It wasn’t that funny,” Henry groused a bit.

“S-sure it wasn’t,” Starlight chuckled. “Says the Master of Engineering.”

“Mechanical Engineering,” Henry grumbled. “Not Architecture.”

“D-definitely not!”

“Hey, I could tear one of your steam trains apart, improve it in at least a dozen ways, put it back together, and it would still be a century and a half behind my home’s level of technological sophistication!”

Starlight’s laughter died quite suddenly. “Really?” She asked with a raised eyebrow, clearly not believing the claim.

“Sure. I could redesign the steam piston alone, which would increase the engine’s power by at least twenty percent.”

“Riiiight, says the forest-dwelling barbarian.”

“I have a Master’s degree in Mechanical Engineering. I was designing cutting edge electric engines at M.I.T. before I got pulled here,” he said, a little hotly. “Y’all don’t even have internal combustion engines. Hay, your computers still use vacuum tubes! Those were obsolete nearly a century ago from my perspective.”

“Wait wait wait,” Starlight paused in the middle of the road and waved a hoof in front of her face. “You’re telling me that you know how to make internal combustion engines?”

“I built an eight cylinder internal combustion engine the size of your head for a science fair before I even hit puberty,” he haughtily said. “You ponies’ steam trains are positively primitive compared to what I’m used to.”

“Oh really?” Starlight asked. “Well then… prove it.”

“Fine. Give me parchment and quill!” Henry’s accent thickened with his temper, practically spitting the words at her.

Starlight smirked a bit. “Wait here,” she said as she trotted away.

A quick stop at Quills and Sofas and Starlight came back holding a large roll of parchment, a quill, and a bottle of ink.

“Here,” she said and pushed them into Henry’s arms. Turning away, she grabbed a few medium sized rocks from a nearby garden, prompting some complaints from the pony who owned said garden, lit her horn, and transformed them into a slightly too small chair and desk for Henry.

“Fine,” he groused as he squeezed himself into the tiny chair. After unrolling the scroll, opening the inkwell, and dipping the quill, he paused.

“Can you find me a straightedge?”

Starlight transfigured a stick and held it out to him.

“Thanks,” he muttered absently.

Taking the straight edge, Henry quickly sketched a simple two-stroke, single cylinder engine, like the kind that often powered hand-pushed lawn mowers. As he added details, he began pointing them out to Starlight.

“This is the carburetor. It mixes the fuel with an appropriate amount of air to achieve optimal fuel-air ratios. The flow can be adjusted with this knob here. An absorbent material, like a sponge or a foam works best. By flowing a liquid fuel, like {}gasoline{} or distilled grain alcohol into the absorbent material, as air passes through the material, it will evaporate the liquid fuel, and the combined fuel-air mixture will be pulled into the engine through this valve. You follow me so far?”

Starlight nodded, a bit dumbstruck.

“From here, the rotation of the crankshaft opens the valve, allowing the fuel-air mixture into the combustion chamber when the piston lowers. As the piston rises to its apex, a spark here ignites the fuel-air mixture, causing a small, controlled explosion. The expanding gases push down the piston, which turns the crankshaft. When the piston reaches its lowest point, the pressure of the expanding gas escapes into here, the muffler. Then, the fuel-air mixture flows into the combustion chamber, and the cycle begins again.”

Henry finished a few more details in the simplistic, but mechanically precise drawing of the simple, single-cylinder two-stroke engine.

“By increasing the flow of the fuel, you will increase the revolutions per minute of the engine, which results in more power output. You can use the rotation of the crankshaft here to perform all kinds of mechanical actions, from rotating a wheel, like on a locomotive, to powering a mechanical loom or other industrial machine.”

Henry wiped the last of the ink from the quill back into the inkwell, closed the inkwell, lifted the newly drawn blueprints, and carefully blew on the ink to dry it.

“This particular design is only about 50 years old from my perspective,” he said. “Practically primitive, but it should be both functional and reliable. Though, you’ll want to mix in a lubricant with the fuel, preferably refined mineral oil, but I suppose a high-temperature tallow or vegetable oil would suffice.”

Judging that the ink was sufficiently dry, Henry turned to look at Starlight. His new pony friend’s mouth hung wide open, her eyes were nearly leaping out of her skull, and a shaking hoof was pointing at the blueprints.

“You know,” Henry grinned as he leaned close, “If you hold that expression long enough, it’ll freeze like that.”

“You… you…” Starlight stammered.

“I… made a very crude drawing of a two-stroke internal combustion engine. I was, after all, a mechanical engineer.”

“I don’t believe it…”

“Believe it.”

Starlight took the schematics gently from Henry with her magic and held them up in front of herself.

“This is amazing! Do you know how long an internal combustion engine has been a goal of Equestria’s engineers?” she asked him.

“No clue,” he replied.

“Two decades. Twenty bucking years!” she shouted.

“Oh, is that it?” Henry replied, only half paying attention to her exclamations, instead using one of his claws to clean out an ear.

“Is that it? Is that… grrr!” Starlight grit her teeth. Henry rolled his eyes.

“Calm down, Ms. Glimmer. I’m sure y’all would have gotten it soon enough.”

Starlight took a deep breath and let it out.

“Ok, I’m alright, it’s no big deal,” she said. “I mean, it’s not like you’ve been living out in the forest this whole time with knowledge that could advance science by years or anything…”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, only, like… four years now? Something like that.”

“Yes, only four years…” she paused. “Four years?!”

“Well, four and three quarters,” Henry replied. “I first arrived in the early fall. Not long before… uh… I think it’s called Nightmare Night?”

“Wait, so, you’ve been here almost five years?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.” He sighed. “I had a lot of time to make my cabin comfortable. Considering I was never welcome here,” he gestured to the various buildings around him.

That drew Starlight up short. If it’d never had a friend in Ponyville before, it’d never have had anyone to share its knowledge with. ‘So much for friendship,’ she groused to herself once more. ‘If somepony, anypony had taken the time to talk to it, maybe it would have shared some of its knowledge with us sooner. Hay, someone may have even gotten it to meet with Princess Celestia, who could have introduced it to all the scientists and engineers at her school, and who knows what we could have learned since then…’

Starlight paused. ‘Princess Celestia…?’ She facehooved.

“Henry,” she began, “I’ve got a proposition for you. A win-win kind of situation.”

“Oh?” it replied with a raised eyebrow.

“I have a task from Princess Twilight, you see. I have to bring a friend to an informal dinner tomorrow night, and introduce that friend to both Princess Twilight, and Princess Celestia. If you come to that dinner with me, I can introduce you to some ponies that could help you share your knowledge of mechanical engineering.”

“Princess Twilight?” Henry asked, his eyebrow still raised.

“Yes, and Princess Celestia.”

“Hmm.” it scratched its bearded chin. “No thanks.”

“W-what?” Starlight asked.

“I said no thanks.” Henry looked at her hurt expression and hurried to add, “I mean, I’d love to be your friend, Ms. Glimmer, you’ve been rather friendly towards me, I just would rather not meet Princess Twilight again.”

“... again?”

“Ah, well…” Henry grimaced a bit. “Lets just say that my first meeting with her didn’t go so well. This was before she became a princess, mind you, but she more or less started the whole ‘humans aren’t welcome here’ thing this whole town’s got going on.”

“Wait, are we talking about the same Twilight Sparkle?” Starlight asked, dubiously. “Purple coat, dark blue mane with a pink stripe? Element of Harmony? That Twilight Sparkle?”

“Yes, that Twilight Sparkle.”

“... ok, I can’t believe it.”

“It’s true,” Henry said, fiddling a bit with the too-small chair.

“... somehow, I just can’t see Twilight doing something like that.” Starlight said. “The rest of the ponies here? They can be a bunch of foals at times, but Twilight never struck me as being quite so… discriminatory.”

“Let's see…” Henry said, tugging on his beard a bit as he concentrated. “I think her exact words were… ‘Get out of here, Chaos-spawn! I won’t let you lay a single claw on my books!’ or something like that.”

“But… why would she call you Chaos-spawn?”

“Oh, didn’t I mention that? Apparently, Discord wanted something special as a piece-de-resistance for his little chaos storm when he escaped almost five years ago.” Henry said rather dispassionately. “So he tore through the fabric of reality, reached into a completely different universe, plucked me up by the back of my shirt, and literally threw me into the middle of Ponyville.”

“Discord brought you here?”

“Yeah. Hey, don’t look at me like that,” Henry said, since Starlight was giving him the most disbelieving expression he’d yet seen on her face. “You can ask him yourself. Well, if he hasn’t forgotten. I mean, it was almost five years ago.”

“I’ll be sure to ask him next time I see him.”

“Sure, but you’ll see I’m right. Anyway, so there I was, landing on a super-sized ice cream sundae, which was really terrible because I’m {}lactose intolerant{}-”

“You're what, now?”

“Uh… well, basically, I can’t properly digest milk or some milk products anymore,” it said. “It either makes me nauseous, gassy, or sick.”

“Oh, right, that. That’s not very common amongst ponies.”

“Not too common for humans either.” Henry waved that line of questioning away and continued. “Anyway, so I dropped into the middle of Ponyville, right in the middle of Discord’s rampage, so pretty much all of the villagers knew I was brought here by Discord. When the Bearers defeated him, I get the feeling that I was supposed to be fixed, but their little rainbow cannon just kinda… I dunno, passed right through me. Didn’t even tickle.”

“That’s strange. All of Discord’s other Chaos-spawn were fixed by the Elements.”

“Well, I’ve got a theory about that,” Henry said as he started back towards the market once more. Starlight took a moment to revert the desk and chair to the original stones she had transfigured them from and return them to the garden she’d borrowed them from. She trotted back to it’s side.

“Well, let’s hear it,” she prompted it.

“Ok, so, this might get a little complex, because it goes into very advanced physics, but…” Henry trailed off, looking into the sky, trying to organize its thoughts. “Ok, so according to {}Einstein’s{} Theory of {}Relativity{}, space itself can bend and curve naturally, usually due to the presence of a large quantity of mass, and gravity is a side-effect of this curvature. However, it’s possible for space to fold back in on itself so intently, that two distant points can, in essence, touch each other. Like this,” Henry took his schematics and gently folded the two corners together. “This shortened space between two distant points is called a worm hole. Uh, that’s the best translation from {}English{} into Equestrian I can come up with,” he added when he saw how confused Starlight looked at the word.

“So, worm holes are like teleportation?” she asked.

“Yes, only without magic, just a consequence of physical phenomena. So, when Discord tore a hole in reality, he in essence made a worm hole to where I was, and since he physically reached through to pull me through the worm hole, I wasn’t actually directly affected by his chaos magic. As such, when the Elements fixed everything Discord did with his chaos magic, it would have fixed the worm hole, but not return me through it.”

“That would make sense,” Starlight nodded. “One Cup’s Law of Arcane Attraction states that like calls to like, so if the Elements followed the trails of Chaos magic to fix its effects, since you weren’t summoned directly by chaos magic, but rather physically pulled through a physical phenomena, even if the phenomena was created by magic, the Elements wouldn’t have seen you as something to ‘fix’, so to speak.”

“Exactly my thoughts as well.”

The two shared a smile, one academic recognizing another’s intelligence.

“You’re pretty smart, for a forest-dwelling barbarian,” Starlight told him.

“Thanks… I think.”

Henry came to a stop at the edge of the market square and looked around. While it was pretty crowded, its tall stature gave it the ability to see over the crowds. Shading its eyes from the sun still high overhead, it peered at the various signs to see which direction to head towards first.

“Here, I’ll need to pop in to Barnyard Bargains first to pick up the flour and baking powder,” it said to Starlight. “Um… I don’t suppose I could convince you to pick up the railway spikes for me? I’ve already paid for it, but it should be at Iron Hammer’s Smithy.”

“Sure, no problem. What’re friends for?” she asked him rhetorically as she nudged the side of it’s knee with her leg. Henry grinned down at her.

“Meet me at Bon Bon’s Bon Bons afterwards?” it asked.

“Uh, sure! Though, are you welcome there?” Starlight asked.

“Yeah, one of the few places I’m marginally welcome at. Barnyard Bargains and Iron Hammer’s are the others, conveniently. Barnyard Bargains because I told Filthy Rich about fixed prices, and Iron Hammer’s because I told him about some steel smithing techniques my people know.”

“What about Bon Bon’s?”

“Oh, uh… well, that one’s a little embarrassing, but…” Henry trailed off.

“... but what?” Starlight prompted it.

“Well, turns out that Bon Bon’s best friend and roomate Lyra Heartstrings is a bit of a cryptozoologist. Just as a hobby, mind you,” it said. “Apparently, there’s some very ancient legends about my kind in old pre-unification unicorn lore.”

“Wait, really?”

“Uh… yeah… Lyra found the references in a really really old book…” Henry reached up and rubbed the back of its neck. “Uh… lets see… it was called Ars Daemonica or something like that.”

“That… sounds like a Demonology tome,” Starlight said, brows furrowed. “Wait, so you’re some kind of demon?”

“Well, I don’t feel like a demon,” Henry retorted.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she said with a wave of her hoof. “But if humans are in a Demonology text-”

“A text about summoning demons, specifically,” Henry interjected.

“... then what kind of demon does the book say you are?” she continued.

“... do I really have to say it?” it whined.

“Yes.”

“Ponyfeathers,” Henry spat. “According to Ars Daemonica, humans are a type of… succubus or incubus, depending on the gender of the human in question.” It crossed it’s arms in front of its chest and looked away, face flushing slightly.

“Pffft-” Starlight struggled to hold in her laughter. “You’re a sex demon!”

Starlight laughed so hard she ended up flopping onto her side. Henry mildly glared at her. “It isn’t funny,” he grumbled.

“So… so, what, was Lyra trying to sign a pact with you or something!” she half-shouted, half-laughed.

“Not funny!”

“She was!” As her laughter intensified, she ended up rolling on her back.

“... she was.” Henry closed his eyes and turned its nose up at her, face flushed, determined to wait out her laughter.

“S-s-so, are you an i-incubus, or a s-s-succubus!” she asked it between guffaws.

“What, can’t tell on your own?” It sneered down at her.

“N-n-no, n-not really,” she giggled and rolled onto her belly.

“Ugh,” Henry complained before pinching it’s nose. “{}I guess that’s what I get for using scent-suppressing soap,{}” it muttered to itself in its own language.

“Well,” it said, leaning down towards her, lips spreading into a bit of a leer, “If you’re so interested, you should know that I would be an Incubus.”

“W-what, interested, me?” she said, now flushing a bit herself. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Aww, Starlight,” He wheedled, “Don’t you want to make a pact? I’m sure I can make it worth your while…” he trailed off, gazing deeply into her eyes.

“Uh… yeah, let’s not,” she said, even as she blushed a little deeper and looked away.

“Oh, you’re breaking my heart,” he said with an absolute deadpan expression.

“Oh, poor foal,” she deadpanned back, still fighting her fading blush, causing Henry to snicker at her a bit.

Still, the (apparent) sex demon stood back up and said, “Let's get my shopping done, then we can meet up at Bon Bon’s and grab some soda or something.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

As Henry started walking towards Barnyard Bargains, the crowd parting around him, Starlight couldn’t help but think to herself, ‘I think I could get used to this friendship thing.’