Stage Fright
Noteworthy let out a sigh in sync with when his hoof settled down on one of the keys of his piano. He hit that same key twice, three times, and on the fourth he frustratingly hit down two keys with both of his hooves and groaned in frustration. The sound echoed out loudly into the empty auditorium as he placed both of of hooves against his face and pulled at his cheeks. His mind was exhausted while his body was restless. He felt both frozen and on fire at once. He had never sat on a stage this big before. He had never felt the heat of the lights pour down him hotter than the sun as sweat gathered on the back of his neck. He had never looked out into the empty audience and thought of the soon thousands of ponies that would be staring at him. Judging him.
“Two more hours, huh?”
Noteworthy turned his attention to the unicorn behind him who came trotting in from back stage. He was carrying a water bottle on his back which he set down beside Noteworthy on the bench. Royal Pin flashed one of this signature smiles at Noteworthy. A cocky sort of smile. Noteworthy stared at this pony and his frizzy, mess of a mane. His eyes were pools of gold.
“This piano is out of tune,” Noteworthy muttered as he ignored Royal Pin’s comment about time.
“The guys backstage tuned it three times,” Royal Pin said. He nudged Noteworthy’s side and Noteworthy resisted the urge to give an annoyed whinny. Instead of tapped his finger lightly on one of the keys and tried not to slam it like he had before. “I think it’s fine, hun.”
“Fine,” Noteworthy mocked his lover’s tone. He turned to Royal Pin and saw the slightest bit of hurt in his eyes which he quickly masked. Noteworthy looked away and bit his lip. He suddenly wanted to kick himself.
“I’m sorry,” Noteworthy muttered. “I’m nervous.”
“Clearly,” Royal Pin said with a hint of sarcasm. He sat himself down on the bench facing the opposite way of Noteworthy. He leaned to the right and gave him a small peck on the cheek. Noteworthy may have blushed if the burning lights weren’t already scorching him and causing him to sweat like mad. He glanced to his boyfriend, who was giving him another smile.
Seconds passed like hours in one of the largest concert halls in Canterlot. Noteworthy wasn’t sure exactly how much sleep he had gotten the night before but he knew it wasn’t anything to write home about. He tried to remember his thoughts on the train ride from Ponyville to here but it was a blur of jittering and squeezing Royal Pin’s hoof in his cart trying not to visibly flinch every time his mind blanked on notes and sheets of music he had once been able to read like the back of his hoof. He stared at the music sheet in front of him and pressed his hoof down on the very first key.
It sounded wrong. No matter what he did it always sounded wrong.
“You’re going to be fine, Hun,” Royal Pin said. He pressed his hoof to Noteworthy’s chest and gave him a gentle reassuring rub. Noteworthy wanted so badly to believe his lover’s kind words and melt into his hug and say all that was on his mind.
“This is Canterlot,” Is all Noteworthy could say to express the vast continents of worry weighing on his mind. “Canterlot, Pin.”
“I noticed,” Royal Pin smirked. “I was on the train with you.”
“But… I just…”
Noteworthy trailed off and bit his lip. His eyes kept darting to the pegasi workers flying around adjusting lights and microphones and running around backstage. In exactly forty-five minutes he was going to be taken away and the curtains would close. In an hour and fifteen minutes after that, they would open and he would be performing his first ever Canterlot show.
Or at least, the opening act of one.
“I think I’m going to puke,” Noteworthy said.
“Please not on the bow tie I bought you,” Royal Pin said with a joking sigh as he tugged his hoof on said stripped tie. “And you’re fine. It’s just nerves.”
“I’m opening for Sapphire Shores, Pin,” Noteworthy said. He looked into the eyes of his lover and swore he must have looked like he was mad by the way Royal Pin stared back at him. “This isn’t just some small local show in Ponyville. This is it, Pin. This is everything I…”
For a moment Noteworthy feared he truly was going to be sick. The thought of it all crashed down again and again in endless waves of anxiety. Royal Pin sat there with a slightly worried but mostly reassuring look on his face. Noteworthy longed for the days where a bit of what he now realized was foolishly dubbed stage fright back in his small home down was the worst of it. He knew nothing about fear of performing in front of a crowd until tonight.
“Here,” Royal Pin said, tugging on Noteworthy’s foreleg. “I think you need a break.”
“W-Wait, what, Pin!” Noteworthy snapped, trying to pull out of his boyfriend’s grasp. “Knock it off, I don’t have time to mess around.”
“You have almost two hours,” Royal Pin said with a roll of his eyes. He flashed Noteworthy a bright white smile and chuckled. “C’mon, just get out of these lights before they give you heatstroke or something.”
Noteworthy began to reluctantly trudge away from the stage and back to behind. The sounds of those talking backstage grew bigger and bigger. Several important looking ponies in headsets with clipboards levitating with their magic in front of them were running around barking orders for a million different actions. It was nothing like the small shows back in Ponyville where things were relaxed and if something went wrong they could solve it in the moment.
“Stage will be open to the public in exactly forty minutes,” One of the ponies said into the device near his lips. “How’s that lighting looking for Noteworthy’s opening act?”
Noteworthy’s belly lurched at the sound of his own name. He still couldn’t believe he was here without so much as a pass around his neck saying he belonged here. He felt like no more than these stage managers, or worse a fan who scored backstage tickets. Even sitting on the stage and touching his hooves to the keys of his piano he felt like a small child.
“Oh! Oh oh oh!” Royal Pin shouted as a mare with a platter full of wine glasses passed. Royal Pin instantly picked up two as she passed and shot the mare a wink before forcing on in Noteworthy’s hoof.
‘I’m not getting drunk before a…”
“Drink it,” Royal Pin said with a commanding tone. He put his hoof on Noteworthy’s shoulder. “You’ll thank me, and one glass of wine won’t get you wasted, Hun.”
Noteworthy considered pouting but thought that might make him look worse than he already felt. He put the wine glass to his lips and gave it a tentative sip. It was wine drier far past what he preferred, but he continued drinking regardless. It tasted far fancier than anything he had ever drunk, and past what he would ever consider spending on a paycheck of his own.
“Talk to me, Note,” Royal Pin said, touching his hoof to Noteworthy’s chin and drawing it away from the stage where he had just been. “Don’t go in your head on me, alright? You gotta stay focused tonight.”
“I’m really losing my mind,” Noteworthy muttered after downing half the glass of wine in two sips. “I don’t know what I was thinking, Pin. I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for any of this.”
“Yes you are,” Royal Pin said with a smile. “C’mon, you’re not even the main show tonight. You’re an opening act.”
“Opening for one of the biggest musical ponies in generations and nopony out there even knows my name,” Noteworthy grumbled under his breath as he rolled the remaining wine around in his glass. He sipped it, but it somehow tasted more dry and unappetizing compared to before. He drank the rest in one gulp and gasped as he set it down on a nearby table. Royal Pin hadn’t even finished a quarter of his own. “I don’t know how Record Dealer even got me this gig.”
Record Dealer was and continued to be one of the most miracle working agents Noteworthy had ever known. He wouldn’t have ever in his life dreamed to have hit a stage of this proportion. He still recalled days alone in his home messing up keys and it felt as though it was just yesterday when he graduated to public performances. He had thought nothing of it the day his agent told him somepony was in the crowd interested for Canterlot. He had heard it a hundred times before, and not once had anything come of it. Well, here he was. Living proof that he shouldn’t have just brushed it off as an impossibility.
“Because you’re amazingly great at piano,” Royal Pin said. “I dunno, just a hunch.”
“Don’t,” Noteworthy said as he drew a hoof to his temple and pressed down. “Please, Pin, I’m sorry… I just… I don’t know if I can do this.”
Royal Pin’s smile finally turned to a frown. Noteworthy felt his body nearly tremble at the realization of the words that had passed his lips. They were words that he had been avoiding so much as thinking about because saying them meant they were true. He didn’t have the faith in himself eveyrpony kept telling him he had.
Royal Pin set down his half full wine glass next to where Noteworthy placed his empty one. For some reason Noteworthy had to resist flinching when Royal Pin touched his cheek again as though somehow the touch might hurt. His own eyes began to sting and he whipped at them angrily and broke free of his boyfriend’s kind touch.
“Ugh,” Noteworthy groaned. “I don’t even know why I’m here.”
Royal Pin opened his mouth as though to say something, but then proceeded to close it just as quickly.
“Hey, sweetie,” Royal Pin said. His voice was quiet. “Will you come with me for a second?”
“Again?” Noteworthy questioned.
“Just real quick, I swear,” Royal Pin said with his grin returning. This time he didn’t take Noteworthy’s hoof, but extended his own as though waiting for his acceptance. Noteworthy nodded his head slowly and took it, and was soon drug back even further back to the stage. The crew circling around them grew thinner until they were in the complete back near a doorway that Royal Pin looked around before pushing open.
“Are we allowed up here?” Noteworthy questioned.
“We’re not NOT allowed up here?” Royal Pin said. The way his tone sounded like a question made Noteworthy feel uneasy, but with a simple glance behind his shoulder he trusted his lover’s word and began to follow him inside.
There was simply a stairwell inside leading directly up. At the top there was a second doorway that when they reached the top and pushed open fresh air blew against Noteworthy’s face. He was greeted with the dark of night intermingling with the lights of a busy, popular city such as the Kingdom’s capital. They were on top of the roof. It was massive looking even from here. Outside it was even louder. Ponies all talking. A mob all around to see Sapphire Shores.
To see him, even if they didn’t ask for it.
“Pin,” Noteworthy muttered uneasily under his breath.
“C’mon,” Royal Pin said with a nod of his head. He kept tugging on Noteworthy as they got closer and closer to the edge of the roof. There was a slight raise that came up just to Noteworthy’s chin. He stood up on his hind hooves once Royal Pin released him and leaned over. He saw a mass crowd of ponies even larger than they sounded. His gut dropped.
“Are you trying to tell me something?” Noteworthy questioned. “Like I should jump off and kill myself before humiliating myself in front of all of them.”
“Oh my Celestia, will you can it!” Royal Pin chuckled as he got up right behind Noteworthy and pressed his chest to Noteworthy’s back. They were spooning as they stood, both leaning over the roof’s edge and staring out into the crowd waiting to be let in. The fear from seeing them and the warmth and affection from Royal Pin’s lips gently pressing to his neck made an awkward mix of emotions course through his system. He closed his eyes and wanted to go back to their little apartment back in Ponyville and feel his boyfriend spoon with him like this in their bed where his worries were minimal. He wanted a simple life.
“Remember our first date?” Royal Pin asked.
“Huh?” Noteworthy questioned. “Yeah, course. The coffee shop. Do you remember it?”
“Ouch,” Royal Pin chuckled. “I meant do you remember what we talked about.”
Noteworthy pursed his lips and tried to think. Of course he didn’t remember. It was a first date set up by two of their friends on a stupid whim that they would get along. It was awkward small talk and feeling the waters and not sure how far they could go with their humor. Their first kiss at the end of it was beyond awkward and still something they joked about to this day.
“Not a clue,” Noteworthy admitted. “Sorry.”
“Mmm,” Royal Pin said, giving Noteworthy’s shoulder a kiss. “I remember I asked you what you wanted to do. In life, I mean.”
“Heavy question for a first date,” Noteworthy responded.
“What can I say, I got baggage,” Royal Pin shrugged and Noteworthy felt a chuckle vibrate against his back. His breath was warm in the cool air of night, and Noteworthy was suddenly thankful for his tough. “But I remember it. You said really shyly like you were scared of it that you wanted to have hundreds and hundreds of ponies see you play piano. You said it to me like it was a stupid dream, and then… You laughed like it was a joke.”
Royal Pin’s forelegs wrapped tighter around Noteworthy’s torst. Lips pressed once more to his neck and Noteworthy shuddered as he felt goosebumps creep up his sides all the way to the tips of his ears. Royal Pin was holding him gently with all the passion of their romance in one hug.
“You said…” Noteworthy mumbled, having it come back to him. “That you didn’t think it was something to laugh about.”
“That’s right,” Royal Pin said. “And the next time I saw you, you showed me how you played piano. You were so good at it even back then, Note.”
Noteworthy felt his cheeks flush. He couldn’t remember the last time Royal Pin had said anything so sweet to him. Their blue coats were pressed together as they stared out into the massive crowd. Noteworthy sunk down and eventually Royal Pin released him. He sat down and pressed his back to the raised ledge. Royal Pin sat next to him and grabbed his hoof to give it a squeeze.
“It’s happening fast,” Noteworthy said.
“I’m proud of you,” Royal Pin responded with a grin of his own. “I really, really am, Note.”
Noteworthy stared up at the sky. The lack of stars from the city’s light was still something he hadn’t grown used to yet. He was accustomed to a space so vast he could get lost in it. Now he was reminded of where he was. What he was going to do tonight in front of all those ponies he could still hear.
Royal Pin touched his cheek again. Noteworthy looked to him, and had little time to react before his head moved in. Their lips met in a slow, tender kiss. His lips were sweet and Noteworthy for just a moment forgot all of his pain and worries about tonight. He grabbed Royal Pin back and deepened the kiss. When they broke he realized tears had slipped from his eyes which he wiped away with flushed cheeks.
“C-Celestia I’m scared,” Noteworthy said fast as he buried his face under Royal Pin’s chin. “They’re not here to see me. What if they laugh and call me a hack or…”
“Shhh,” Royal Pin said. “You’re going to do amazing tonight, Note. You see all those ponies out there? They’re all gonna be talking about you when you’re done. You heard what Record Dealer said.”
Noteworthy pursed his lips.
“He said Sapphire Shores said you were the most talented young pony she had heard play in years,” Royal Pin said. “That song you’re playing tonight? That was the song you played when I first thought I wanted to spend my life with you.”
Noteworthy nodded his head and wiped away more tears.
“I’m sorry,” Noteworthy said. “I’m just being dumb.”
“Calm down, man,” Royal Pin chuckled. “I’m gonna be right there, okay? Right behind the curtain waiting to kiss you when you come off. I don’t care if you totally bomb, alright? I love you. This is your first big break, Note.”
Noteworthy slowly nodded his head, but it took a few more moments for the words to properly sink in. He got up slowly and stared back at the massive crowd forming outside of the showroom. They would all watch him. His first show outside of Ponyville. His first actual break.
“I love you too,” Noteworthy mumbled, looking to Royal Pin.
They kissed once more. Much more brief and less tense this time. No longer did it need to hold the same tension or urgency, but could simply exist as the replacement of words neither could think to speak. When they parted Royal Pin was giggling, and Noteworthy found himself doing the same.
Tonight he wasn’t just going to perform for thousands of ponies. Tonight he was also going to perform specifically for the one he loved.
