Twilight Sparkle Falls in Love with a Donut
Twilight Sparkle woke up in the middle of the night with a craving. She had had cravings before, of course, but usually they were the type that engendered teasing from all of her friends. A craving to figure out a particularly evil integral in calculus, for example, or to suddenly write a hundred-page research paper on the effects of unicorn magic on immobile lifeforms such as plants (Twilight had tried many times to convince her friends, particularly Rainbow Dash, that 'craving for knowledge' was a thing, but they refused to believe it).
This craving, however, was a very different type of craving. It was a food craving. Specifically, a craving for donuts.
Twilight frowned and pressed a hoof to her forehead. "Donuts? No, that can't be right," she murmured. "I don't even like donuts that much."
And yet... a nice, fat donut dripping with oh-so-creamy frosting, slathered with sprinkles, a paragon of sugary goodness...
Twilight needed one. She needed one right now.
The alicorn slid out of her bed and carefully made her way downstairs, her horn glimmering faintly as she cast a spell to light her way. Fortunately, she and Spike had gone to Canterlot yesterday, and the growing young dragon had insisted on stopping at Donut Joe's to buy a baker's dozen of the best donuts in Equestria. Which meant that, if Spike hadn't eaten them all -
Oh, who was Twilight kidding? She knew he hadn't eaten them all. She was the one who had forbidden him from doing so. She'd seen what happened when dragons overate, and the smell of singed vomit had taken weeks to fade away. Not even Twilight's magic was strong enough to conquer dragon upchuck, apparently.
Twilight Sparkle tiptoed into the kitchen of her castle and flicked on the lights, almost drooling now in her anticipation. She opened the fridge, and... yes! There it was! A gorgeous vanilla donut with orange and yellow frosting and blue sprinkles. Mmmm. Perfection.
Her eyes gleaming with hunger, Twilight prepared to levitate the donut towards her, and then hesitated. It seemed almost sacrilege to avoid touching the donut. It was so beautiful. So wholesome. Why use magic to bring it to her mouth when she could hold it, run her hooves all over it, instead?
Twilight nodded firmly, her decision made, and reached into the fridge. The tip of her hoof brushed against the frosting, and she had to stifle a moan of delight. It was so lusciously soft. Why did I say I don't like donuts that much again? I take it back.
Slowly but surely, she dragged the donut towards her, her eyes roving lustfully over every millimeter of its infinitely perfect form. "Oh, you are beautiful," she breathed. "And you're going to taste so delicious when I eat you to satisfy my random craving..."
Wait. No. That didn't sound right. Why would she eat this donut, this epitome of seductive sweetness? As a matter of fact, how could anypony bear to eat this donut? Surely such a crime was punishable by death.
Suddenly, in the middle of her kitchen at one in the morning, Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, had an epiphany. She did not want to eat this donut. She was in love with this donut. That was what her craving had been for - a lifelong partner, the love of her life, someone she could share every moment with. And she had found such a being in this donut.
Twilight sank to the floor, weeping tears of relief. At last she had found her soulmate! "I'm so sorry I thought I wanted to eat you," she whispered to her donut, caressing it lovingly. "Now I know. Now I understand. You are the one who is meant to be the partner of my mind and soul. And... yes, I'll say it. I love you. I love you so much."
The donut did not respond.
"Oh, you're speechless. I'm sorry, I know this was so sudden... well, perhaps my actions can speak louder than my words," Twilight purred, her voice shifting into a sultry tone. Without a moment's hesitation, she lifted the donut to her lips and engaged in a very passionate, very one-sided kiss. Her eyes shut in concentration, the alicorn embraced the donut as tightly as she could, forcing her tongue into its golden interior. Frosting smeared itself all over her lips, but his only increased her enthusiasm.
Then, completely by accident, Twilight's hoof jerked, and she shoved the donut halfway into her mouth. Her eyes widened and she drew back, regarding the donut with sly admiration. "Oh, you sly dog, you! So you want more, eh? Let's take this to my bedroom!" She rose to her hooves and pranced out of the kitchen, not bothering to turn off the lights - something that she would never have normally done. She continued her tongue-of-war with the donut as she trotted back down the dark hallways of the castle, simultaneously murmuring sweet nothings to it, her mind riveted only on her new love and on the hours of fun that were about to commence.
As the alicorn danced into her bedroom and slammed the door, at the other end of the hallway, a sleepy-eyed young dragon poked his head out of his bedroom door. A rather loud smacking sound, somewhat like a kiss, had just woken him up from his peaceful slumber.
Well, nopony was there, so he must have imagined the noise. Shrugging, Spike clambered back into bed and was asleep again within seconds. He couldn't wait to eat the rest of his donuts tomorrow, particularly that orange and yellow vanilla one with the blue sprinkles. That was his favorite flavor.
***
"Gaaaaaaaaah!" With a bright flash and a crack, Twilight Sparkle teleported into the middle of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna's throne room. She stared around wildly until her gaze fell on the princesses, who were blinking at her in bewilderment. Gasping in relief, Twilight threw herself at her former mentor's hooves, babbling incoherently. "Princess - help - donut -"
Celestia realized that something was wrong at once and soothingly helped lift Twilight to her hooves, patting her back and murmuring gentle words of encouragement. Inwardly, however, she was dancing with joy. Twilight's arrival had, well, arrived at a most opportune time. Celestia and her sister had been in the middle of a very lengthy and very boring early-morning meeting with their ministers about new ways to increase agricultural production, and now Celestia had an excuse to get out of it. It was regrettable that a small measure of her personal dignity, and a rather large amount of Twilight's, had to be given up at the same time. The ministers were now staring at the Princesses like they had each grown a second head, both of which had then proceeded to attach themselves to each other. A grand and majestic alicorn princess bawling at the hooves of another princess was a rare and disturbing sight indeed.
Still, loss of dignity was a small price to pay for escaping a meeting that surely would have lasted for another five hours. Celestia smiled graciously and cleared her throat with as much royal dignity (now slightly diminished) as possible. "Gentleponies, gentlemares, I fear that you will have to excuse my sister and I. It seems that our Princess of Friendship needs some time alone with us."
They stared up at her dumbly, their mouths flapping.
"She means 'clear out'," Luna translated.
The ministers finally took the hint and left the room as quickly as possible, nearly causing a stampede in their eagerness to obey. Several of them actually smashed into the walls and doors, their heads swiveled around like owls' in order to watch the drama unfolding behind them.
When everypony had finally left, Celestia rose to her hooves and dipped her head down to Twilight's height. "My dear Twilight, is everything all right? You seem most disturbed."
By this point, Twilight had regained most of her usual composure, although she still appeared more frazzled than Celestia had ever seen her. She dabbed at her eyes with a shaking hoof. "Yes... you could say that..."
"Well, do you care to tell me what happened?"
The alicorn drew in a deep, trembling breath. "I fell in love with a donut."
Celestia was completely nonplussed, and had no response whatsoever. Luna, on the other hand, grinned and settled back in her bejeweled throne. "Well, this should be interesting."
Twilight seemed to take Luna's comment as a cue to start explaining. "It was horrible!" she exclaimed, her eyes dilated in horror. "I woke up in the middle of the night feeling really hungry for a donut, but when I found the donut - this orange and yellow donut with teal sprinkles - I fell in love with it! And started kissing it! And then I took it back to my bedroom and... and... well, you can guess what I tried to do next... and I didn't come to my senses until a few minutes ago. I don't feel romantically attracted to the donut anymore, which is good because I think I kind of destroyed it... There are crumbs and frosting all over my bed and I FELL IN LOVE WITH A DONUT WHAT IN EQUESTRIA IS HAPPENING!!!" she screamed, looking ready to pull her own mane out.
Celestia stared at her former pupil for a few seconds before realization dawned in her eyes and she began to laugh. Luna joined in, and their mirth grew until both Princesses were draped over the sides of their thrones, hooting with laughter, their sides shuddering. Twilight's eyes slitted. "I fail to see what is so funny," she growled.
Celestia's giggles subsided, and she forced her lips into a calm smile. "Oh, Twilight, we're not laughing at you. We're laughing because this happened to us too, a long, long time ago."
Twilight raised an eyebrow skeptically. "You fell in love with a donut?"
"Well, not exactly, but I fell in love with my favorite quill pen, spent a whole day treating a sofa like my sister, and tried to eat a desk."
Luna came and stood by her sister. "Yes, and I fell in love with -"
"Okay, no, Lulu. I know where you're going with that sentence and there's no need to finish it. Ever. Not in polite company or otherwise. I never need to hear about that again. My ears were bleeding the first time."
Luna stuck her tongue out at her sister. "Party pooper."
Twilight's head was spinning. "Okay, I am officially confused. And that is a very rare occurrence."
Celestia coughed delicately and adopted her best Teacher Voice. "Twilight, have you ever heard of accidental magic?"
She thought for a minute. "No, I don't think so... wait, am I supposed to have heard of that?? Have I read about it before and forgotten? Please tell me I haven't -"
"Calm down, there's no need to worry," Luna interjected before Twilight could flip her lid completely. "You're not supposed to have heard of it at all. Nopony is, in fact. It's an alicorn thing and only an alicorn thing, so not many ponies know about it. We do our best not to let word get out to the public. It's probably best that they don't know some of our magic isn't on purpose. That is definitely not good for our image."
Celestia took pity on Twilight, who was clearly growing more and more confused by the second, and continued her sister's explanation. "You see, Twilight, when an alicorn is born or when somepony becomes an alicorn, their bodies have to adjust to the huge amount of magic. When the newly-born alicorn is still young or when the already fully-grown pony has just become an alicorn, their body tries to acclimatize by releasing little bursts of uncontrolled magic which soon stop altogether as the alicorn becomes more used to their powers. You are a fairly new alicorn, so..."
"So my magic made me fall in love with a donut," Twilight. finished. "But... my magic made me fall in love with a donut. Why that? Why not something, you know, less embarrassing? And it this going to happen again?"
Celestia nodded wisely. "Accidental magic is often influenced by the subconscious. For example, my magic caused me to fall in love with my quill pen because the feather used in the pen had been a gift from somepony I was in love with at the time. The pen reminded me of that pony, and thus my magic decided to focus itself on my feelings. As for the sofa, my sister was away for the day and I missed her so much that I accidentally cast a spell on myself to make me think that the sofa was her. It was the exact same color as her coat, you see. And I tried to eat the desk because it was the same color as a chocolate bar I had been craving."
"Yes, and my magic made me fall in love with -"
Celestia cast her sister an annoyed glance. "No, Luna. I already said no." She then placed a friendly hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "So there's absolutely nothing to worry about. It will probably happen again soon, as accidental magic tends to fluctuate a little - perhaps it will even cause you to fall in love with another donut - but at least you'll be prepared for it this time. At least you're not going crazy, so have no fear. Since you were sleeping just before the incident, it's most likely that your accidental outflow of magic was influenced by something in a dream, which the donut must have brought to mind. That explains why your first thought when you woke up was to get the donut. Do you remember what you were dreaming about just before you woke up?"
Twilight suddenly turned a violent shade of red and refused to answer.
"You know," Luna put in thoughtfully, "the description of the donut that you gave us brings to mind the hair and eyes of one of Celestia's former students..."
"Thanks so much for your help but I really better be going so goodbye!" Flushing deeply, the alicorn turned tail and galloped out of the throne room, forgetting, in her haste and embarrassment, that she knew how to teleport.
Celestia snorted with amusement. "Luna, you're a genius! So she really does love her..." Her smile died. "Crud. How many bits do I owe you again?"
Luna cackled with glee. "A hundred. You were so confident that Twilight was straight when you made that bet that you almost bet me your entire savings from the past thousand years, remember?"
"Yes, alright, don't rub it in," Celestia growled. "I owe you a hundred bits."
Luna nodded smugly. "And don't you forget it, Celly."
She sighed reluctantly, and then her lips curled in a sly grin. "Luna?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think I should have told her that an alicorn's first bout of accidental magic always lasts for a month?"
Author's Note
I am definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent working on studying for my physics exams, which is why I have just written this new story for you guys. Lol.
Anyway, this idea literally came from nowhere and I wrote it in about fifteen minutes, so I'm sure it's full of mistakes and plot holes. Hopefully someone will enjoy it anyway.
