Anon dies?

by General_Rommel

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Anon, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random, Prince Blueblood, Princess Celestia, Tragedy, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human
Length: 1162

Anon dies to some unknown pony

Anon was just happily walking through the forest, he thought it would be nice to take a walk.

But then he is tackled by something... or in other words, some-PONY...

But do you think Anon really dies? or do you think his attacker will perish?

Warning:Contains super high profanity, blood, death, a dead thing, and heavy abuse of the "Random" Tag. :P

(Edit: Just so you know, this story was ALSO made to make fun of Romance Stories, that way those people out there writing "Gay Pony Stories" and "Shipping Stories" will think twice :P)

Published 2017-04-26 20:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-26 20:20:02 UTC

No, Rainbow Dash is NOT the Killer

"Hey Anon?", Twilight asked

"Yeah?", Anon answered

"You should take a walk, I suggest the woods"

"Good idea"

2 hours later

"Twilight was right, the woods is a GREAT place to take a walk. I should do this more often", Anon said with a smile on his question mark face.

"Weeeeee-HIC-eeeeeeeeee", a random voice yelled out

"Whos there? Whoever you are, do you wanna walk with me? It's really relaxing", Anon was in too good of a mood to worry about whatever this 'Thing' was.

Price Blueblood jumped out of a bush. He was holding a bottle of 'Drunkest Man Wine'. In other words: he was SUPER drunk. Blueblood was also holding a bottle opener, supposedly for the bottle of wine. He had a saddlebag on his back, probably carrying more wine.

"FRESH MEAT!!!!!", Blueblood yelled out

"Dafuq is wrong with you?", Anon asked

"Meeee-HIC-eeaaaat!", Blueblood yelled again

"ye know what?"

"Whaaa-HIC-aa-HIC-aaat?", Yeah, Blueblood was REALLY drunk

"Fuck this shit, I'm out", Anon sang, then dashed out of the area of the woods he was in

"NO MEAT-HIC-COME BACK!! I STILL NEED TO COOK YOU!!"

Meanwhile...

Rainbow Dash owed Applejack, Rainbow had lost a bet, so she now had to cut dow at least 20 dead trees.

"Fuck this shit I'm out!", a song was heard in the distance, Rainbow could only laugh at what she just heard :rainbowlaugh:

"NO, MEAT--COME BACK!! I STILL NEED TO COOK YOU!!", after that, Rainbow knew this was serious... Somepony is gonna die today...

Anon dashed throughout the trees and ran into Rainbow, making her drop her axe. Unfourtantly, the axe fell on Anons foot. "OOOOWWWW!!!!!!!", Anon screamed in pain.

Rainbow held both her hoofs to her mouth"*GASP@*I'm soooooo Sorry Anon". She right then pulled the axe out of Anon's foot, he screamed again.

"AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!", Anon screamed

"AAA-HIC-AAAHHHH!!!!!! WHY ARE WE-HIC-SCREAMING?!", Blueblood asked in his drunk voice, he was standing behind Rainbow Dash.

"SON OF A BITCH!!", Anon grabbed the axe out of Rainbow Dash's hoofs and lunged at Blueblood.

"Oooohhh, meat-HIC-wanna be cooked?-hic-LETS GO MEAT!", Blueblood had just chugged a bottle of wine, making him drunker by the second.

Anon let out a bloodcurdling scream as he tried to jab the axe into Blueblood, but unfortunately, Bluebloods bottle opener was right there, hidden right in front of Anon. *SHINK*

Anon was speechless, and as was Rainbow, she couldn't believe what she just saw. Oddly enough, it turns out Rainbow Dash had a major crush on Anon, so seeing this filled her with rage and sadness.

"Anon NO!!!!" Rainbow bucked Blueblood into a tree, knocking him out temporarily. She grabbed Anon by the cheeks, "Anon, can you still hear me?"

"Yes?", Anon replied

"I-I...", Rainbow stuttered... "I LOVE YOU!!", Rainbows cheeks grew hot red completely, and as did Anons (even though he has a green head with a question mark for his face, he still somehow blushes? NOT TIME TIME TO DEAL WITH LOGIC!!)

"I... Love you too?", Anon was soo confused on what was happening right now, first, he's stabbed by a drunk pony, now he's in love with Rainbow Dash?

Rainbow grabbed the axe and lunged for the unconscious Blueblood. She got him right in the chest, she then swung the axe onto his lower left leg (Always go for the lower left first, that what I taught Rainbow Dash), She then did a final blow to his neck, sputtering blood all over her pretty cyan coat.

Anon found Rainbow Dash's aggressiveness pretty hot for some reason,"That was cute".

"Ya like that?", Rainbow turned to Anon with blood splattered all over her face.

"Mhm"

The end?

NOPE!!!

Allofasudden, a Do-17 flies overhead, and dropped a large payload of 10 50Lb bombs. Rainbow Dash tried to save Anon, but hey were both caught in the explosion.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!!!!", Applejack responsible for all of this, "When you lose that bet Dash, you loose everything", Applejack put an evil grin on her face.

Thenallofasudden, Celestia pops up in front of Applejack, "APPLEJACK WHY?! I SAID YOU COULD DO A PRANK!! NOT A KILL OFF!!!!", Celestia then blows up Applejack

*KABOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!*

10 Days Later
At The Funeral

"Why did I send Anon out there in the first place?", Twilight felt so dumb

"Well, it DID sound like a good idea in the first place", Rarity said

"If you weren't into your books so much, you would've heard me talk about my vision of something tragic happening in that forest", Fluttershy was disappointed

"Wait, so if Twilight had listened to Fluttershy, then Rainbow Dash and Anon would still be alive?", Pinkie asked

"So Twilight, what have you learned about friendship today?", Celestia asked intently

"To listen to your friends", Twilight responded

"Aaaaaaand?", Celestia said

"*SIGH* to not be so much of a *mumble*", Twilight said

"An Egg-Head?", Celestia asked

"Fine, I'll admit to being an Egg-Head because I was the cause of Rainbow Dash and Anon dying, I hope she's laughing her head off right now", Twilight finally admitted to being an Egg-Head

(Moral of the story: Listen to your friends, ESPECIALLY if it's something important, AND YOU HAVE TO LISTEN IF IT INVOLVES YOU AND IT IMPORTANT!! also, don't always be an Egg-Head, its bad for your brain, you may THINK that being an Egg-Head means being super smart, but what it really means is that your brain is so small, that it sloshes around inside your head like the yoke in an egg)

Author's Note

This is a story that I wrote to become a better story writer. I am currently in the works of my masterpiece story: "Ger-Mane Armored Forces", but I wanna have it be perfect, and the comments are kinda saying that I need to improve. Anyways, this story was created for just that purpose, so take this story as badly as you want, in fact, dislike it, ALL OF YOU DISLIKE IT NOW!!!!... Unless I actually did a good job on this story?

Do you guys have any story ideas for me to come up with that are simple? Because I need all the help I can get.

If you're wondering what I meant by "Do-17", then read this: It is a German Medium Bomber that was used during WWII, it had many, many, MANY, versions of itself, from heavy fighters to heavy(Ish) bombers, it was a VERY effective Bomber/Heavy-Fighter during WWII.

And just so you know, this story was made for practice, and laughs, and many cringes :P

I am a very messed up person, so don't expect me to be hurt very easily :P Derpy is best background Pony and Rainbow Dash if Best pony out of Mane 6.

Now Please, criticism is highly appreciated, I need it so I can become better at writing.

(Edit, this story is ALSO made to make fun of Romance Stories :trollestia:)